SPEAKER_2: Hello, and welcome back to Salt Cravings 2019 edition.
SPEAKER_1: Whoa, hey, nice.
SPEAKER_2: This is a podcast.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know what you're expecting me to say.
SPEAKER_2: I forgot there was more to the intro.
SPEAKER_2: This is a podcast where we solve our cravings.
SPEAKER_2: My name is Clair.
SPEAKER_1: My name's Brianna.
SPEAKER_2: Wow, now it's done.
SPEAKER_1: You know, I think we're just having trouble getting, we had two themed episodes in a row.
SPEAKER_1: And so like getting back into the swing of doing our podcast as normal, I think is throwing me for a loop at least.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know about you.
SPEAKER_1: How are you doing, Clair?
SPEAKER_2: I'm not too bad, I'm back in class.
SPEAKER_2: I have some homework that I get to do and now I get to record this podcast.
SPEAKER_2: Literally napping in the middle of the day was a possibility.
SPEAKER_1: That's nice.
SPEAKER_1: I like me some breaks and some naps in the middle of the day.
SPEAKER_1: I guess it's a good thing that you don't get that anymore.
SPEAKER_1: Is that, is this a positive or a negative?
SPEAKER_2: It's a fact.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, it's a neutral change.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, cool.
SPEAKER_1: Cool.
SPEAKER_1: I'm not in classes yet.
SPEAKER_1: I will be next week.
SPEAKER_2: And tomorrow, apparently.
SPEAKER_1: Technically, well, technically.
SPEAKER_1: Yes.
SPEAKER_2: Technically.
SPEAKER_1: Yes.
SPEAKER_1: Technically.
SPEAKER_1: My school starts classes tomorrow, but I don't have that many classes up and about.
SPEAKER_1: So I don't start till next week.
SPEAKER_1: No one should be forced to start classes super duper early into January.
SPEAKER_1: Give us like a little bit of a buffer.
SPEAKER_1: You know?
SPEAKER_1: That's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_2: I like what you're saying.
SPEAKER_2: You want to stay a Craven?
SPEAKER_1: Oh boy, I do.
SPEAKER_1: You know what's really good?
SPEAKER_2: Probably.
SPEAKER_1: Pirates.
SPEAKER_1: So the thing is, pirates are the best.
SPEAKER_1: And this is a thing that I don't think I fully appreciated until I realized how fucking great pirates are.
SPEAKER_2: The best at what?
SPEAKER_1: It's not necessarily at...
SPEAKER_2: Just to clarify, are we talking about the Yar Yar Pirates or the I'm sitting in the basement with a computer and I'm downloading this movie of 2001 A Space Odyssey but from.
SPEAKER_1: The internet illegally?
SPEAKER_1: I mean distinctly the Yar Har Har type of pirates because really the thing that I'm craving is pirate-focused media.
SPEAKER_1: This is the thing is that there's just not enough good pro-pirate material out there.
SPEAKER_2: You want pirate material that is better than the pirates of the Caribbean?
SPEAKER_1: Well, I certainly do because Johnny Depp is in there and therefore the entire franchise is dead.
SPEAKER_1: So I want something that doesn't have domestic abusers in it that's about pirates.
SPEAKER_1: And also stuff that is as gay as pirates deserve to be, is as directly anti-capitalist, Robinhood style pirate tales as pirates deserve to be.
SPEAKER_1: Because really, that's the core of pirates that I don't think has been fully explored.
SPEAKER_1: How they robbed from empires that were, well, empires and therefore awful.
SPEAKER_2: Was Veggie Tales about pirates?
SPEAKER_1: You know, I never watched Veggie Tales.
SPEAKER_2: Neither did I.
SPEAKER_1: But I think that there was some pirates.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I think there were pirates in there.
SPEAKER_1: I think the vegetables were occasionally pirates for reasons that I don't understand but do appreciate.
SPEAKER_2: I kind of like that though.
SPEAKER_2: Can we have fruit pirates?
SPEAKER_1: Okay, now I'm feeling this.
SPEAKER_1: I'm feeling the fruit pirates.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, so we got all these fruit pirates.
SPEAKER_1: Is the whole world fruit?
SPEAKER_1: Are the fruit pirates going up against a different type of food?
SPEAKER_1: Maybe the vegetables?
SPEAKER_2: What if it's just we have fruit pirates and then there's also people?
SPEAKER_2: Like, why are these pirates fruit?
SPEAKER_2: How did this fruit become pirates?
SPEAKER_2: What is this pineapple's origin story?
SPEAKER_2: I got bit by a radioactive pineapple.
SPEAKER_1: You got bit by a radioactive pineapple and also became a pirate.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, here's the really important question.
SPEAKER_1: What size are the fruit compared to humans?
SPEAKER_1: Because on the one hand, I don't think the tiny, tiny fruit could be too effective against.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, so I like this very small boat, very fruity pirates, and they did get cursed like this, right?
SPEAKER_2: And their tail is to break the curse.
SPEAKER_1: Yes, it is.
SPEAKER_1: And also to steal like as much as possible.
SPEAKER_2: They're gonna steal your punch bowl.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, they absolutely are.
SPEAKER_1: Because that's like messed up, right?
SPEAKER_1: Like, can you imagine how many how much fruits would dislike the concept of punch?
SPEAKER_1: It's called punch.
SPEAKER_1: It implies that you punched fruit until it was juice.
SPEAKER_2: Also I'm just thinking about like if you get turned into a lemon and you are a pirate, you're sort of the first to go if you all get marooned on an island or anything.
SPEAKER_2: Just by pirate logic.
SPEAKER_1: What do you mean?
SPEAKER_2: Well, you got to protect from scurvy.
SPEAKER_1: Hey, wait, wait.
SPEAKER_1: What you're saying here to me, what you're saying here to me right now is that fruit can get scurvy.
SPEAKER_2: Well, if you don't got enough vitamin C.
SPEAKER_1: They are vitamin C!
SPEAKER_2: Not if you're not a.
SPEAKER_1: Get marooned on a deserted tropical island, I'm going to make it so that they don't have a reason to and therefore I'm going to mostly deal with a...
SPEAKER_2: That's a great idea.
SPEAKER_2: The lemon is evil.
SPEAKER_2: Evil pirate.
SPEAKER_2: I think the lemon becomes a capitalist and the lemon sort of deals with the capitalist.
SPEAKER_1: It's the shift from pirate to privateer.
SPEAKER_1: And that shift of course is a downfall.
SPEAKER_1: The lemon does become a capitalist.
SPEAKER_1: And this is, I guess, the central conflict.
SPEAKER_1: Is it that very superhero type of thing of like once upon a time we were friends and then the lemon turned against us?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, no, definitely.
SPEAKER_2: And also every time the capitalists are foiled, they do all sort of make a face and the lemon turns to them and says, wow, you all look sour.
SPEAKER_2: And that's the closing of every episode.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know if it...
SPEAKER_1: Well, okay.
SPEAKER_1: Okay.
SPEAKER_1: Well, no, actually.
SPEAKER_1: Okay.
SPEAKER_1: I was, I was unsure.
SPEAKER_1: But now I've turned over to this because if there's an episode where the lemon dies, can you imagine what the ending of that episode is going to just be like?
SPEAKER_1: No, there's nothing.
SPEAKER_1: It's just like all of them making this face and then it zooms in on an empty space.
SPEAKER_1: Oh.
SPEAKER_2: And how can we have like a lemon outline and a big arrow pointing at the empty space just to emphasize the dramatic effect?
SPEAKER_2: Like, you're supposed to feel sad.
SPEAKER_1: You really are a fan of subtlety, aren't you?
SPEAKER_1: I think they'll get it.
SPEAKER_2: We can put text on the screen too.
SPEAKER_2: We can actually have like emotion cues for people who don't always get the like emotions of the people.
SPEAKER_2: It is just like feel sadness in bold at the top of the screen.
SPEAKER_1: I think the other way to make it so that people can get that is this thing called acting and writing, musical accompaniment.
SPEAKER_1: Because that's essentially what musical accompaniment is right now.
SPEAKER_1: You're supposed to feel sad.
SPEAKER_2: But we also have, you know, captions for people who can't hear the actors.
SPEAKER_2: What about we have emotion captions for people who can't read the actor's emotions?
SPEAKER_1: What if there's a note?
SPEAKER_1: So this is really...
SPEAKER_2: We just sort of put the word sad on like the actor's forehead if they're trying to convey sadness.
SPEAKER_1: Well, actually, now that's great, because I think you just have on top of, you know, lemon evil.
SPEAKER_2: Can you tell me what the evil looks like?
SPEAKER_2: What is the evil face that like...
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_1: Wait, wait, we said they all have tiny voices.
SPEAKER_1: I am feeling this.
SPEAKER_1: Mostly the thing that I also love, I think is important to mention that I love about pirates and piracy is pirate music, not pirated music, right?
SPEAKER_1: This is, I mean, music that is clarified.
SPEAKER_1: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
SPEAKER_1: Thank you, Clair, for clarifying.
SPEAKER_1: Like this, this...
SPEAKER_2: It's the one time you get to use that pun on the podcast.
SPEAKER_1: Damn, I can't believe I used it so soon.
SPEAKER_1: But just that sort of, yarr, yarr, I'm a pirate type of music is very good.
SPEAKER_1: I still maintain that one of the best songs on the Smash Bros.
SPEAKER_1: Ultimate soundtrack is the King K.
SPEAKER_1: Rool music, Gang-Plank Galleon, which is like prime pirate stuff.
SPEAKER_2: Do you want me to play a little bit right here?
SPEAKER_1: I would love for you to play a little bit of Gang-Plank Galleon right here.
SPEAKER_2: Alright, so this is the Gang-Plank Galleon from the new Smash Bros.
SPEAKER_1: And see, that is what it's about.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, it gets you pumped up to smash.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, yes, to smash, but also just in general to do some piracy, right?
SPEAKER_1: Because King K.
SPEAKER_1: Rool is a classic example of anti-capitalist piracy.
SPEAKER_2: So you sort of want all the theme music to sound like this, even the sad moments.
SPEAKER_2: It's like, all right, we're gonna get you through your sadness.
SPEAKER_2: All right, you're feeling it.
SPEAKER_2: It's intense, intense sadness.
SPEAKER_2: Let's feel it.
SPEAKER_1: Like, sort of.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, I think the sad moments could also just be the same instruments, but it's sad now.
SPEAKER_1: But also maybe it is just the most intense sadness, because that's another important thing, is like, pirates are dramatic as hell.
SPEAKER_1: And if they're not, they're not correct pirates, because Blackbeard existed.
SPEAKER_1: Dude lit his beard on fire.
SPEAKER_1: That's pretty dramatic to me.
SPEAKER_1: And yeah, so like, so I think everything just has to be to the nines, right?
SPEAKER_1: And that includes the sadness.
SPEAKER_1: So you're right.
SPEAKER_2: So I think along with this intense music, sort of the BPM, it's up there.
SPEAKER_2: I think the fruit also goes fast.
SPEAKER_2: And that is also why they are sped up in their voices.
SPEAKER_2: They sort of have the high voice, but they also do the fast move.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, so they're just, okay.
SPEAKER_2: That's their superpower.
SPEAKER_2: Their speedy fruit.
SPEAKER_1: I thought the superpower was that they were fruit that moved and talked and interacted with the world at large.
SPEAKER_2: That too, but also now they're speedy fruit.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, that's fair.
SPEAKER_2: So you do have a pineapple that can tie you up in under five seconds.
SPEAKER_1: That's fair.
SPEAKER_1: The super speedy fruit of the shores of fruitopia.
SPEAKER_2: Great, the super speedy fruit of the shores of utopia.
SPEAKER_2: Fruitopia.
SPEAKER_1: Fruitopia, it's not a utopia, it's capitalist.
SPEAKER_1: And so the fruit are really out here trying to-
SPEAKER_2: They're trying to make their fruitopia.
SPEAKER_1: They're trying to level the playing field.
SPEAKER_1: Sort of like, they're really trying to get some water-
SPEAKER_1: What's water that doesn't have waves?
SPEAKER_1: It's like still water.
SPEAKER_1: They're really just trying to make everything still water.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, they're going to redistribute the fruits of production.
SPEAKER_1: The fruits of our labor, one might say.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, so I'm craving pirate media.
SPEAKER_1: Do you have any other suggested pirate media?
SPEAKER_1: Or would you like to tell me your craving?
SPEAKER_2: Oh, well, now that's two big different things.
SPEAKER_1: It is two big different things.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, how about before I give you my next craving, I'm just going to say this.
SPEAKER_2: We could do Veggie Tales, but it is about Satanism instead of Christianity.
SPEAKER_1: And it's sort of a balancing act, isn't it?
SPEAKER_1: It's kind of like you've heard the one perspective, now here the exact opposite side of this.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, again, never seen Veggie Tales.
SPEAKER_2: I do think it's almost a word for word, except all the songs sort of just replace keywords, and it is about Satanism now.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I think that that does make sense.
SPEAKER_1: Instead of talking about Jesus, they're just talking about Lucifer, right?
SPEAKER_2: In fact, it's just sort of the same show, but it's dubbed over.
SPEAKER_2: It's a redubbing.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, you know, that does sound easier.
SPEAKER_1: It's just like I'm just imagining this thing of like, we are all so thankful to love and be loved by Satan.
SPEAKER_1: So my next craving, Yeah, give me your next craving.
SPEAKER_2: since I am back in school and this came up today, one of my cravings is to have all the slides for a class already because it does make learning a little easier because you can just listen.
SPEAKER_1: You can just listen and have the slides.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, so one thing that I sort of switched to doing last semester from what I used to do, which was I'd buy a notebook every year for every one of my classes and then I'd write down my notes.
SPEAKER_2: This seems pretty standard for most people.
SPEAKER_2: What I do now, I just take photos of the board and then I upload it to a folder and I'm like, yeah, this is better.
SPEAKER_2: Now I have everything digitally.
SPEAKER_2: It's almost like having slides, but less good.
SPEAKER_2: So I do super crave when there are those nice PowerPoint PDFs.
SPEAKER_2: And I don't want your PowerPoints.
SPEAKER_2: I want your PDFs.
SPEAKER_2: Please, please export your PowerPoints to PDFs.
SPEAKER_1: I've had classes where they give you the PowerPoints and they're in PowerPoint.
SPEAKER_2: I am just going to open them and export them to PDF myself.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_1: And also just in general, I will say one of the things about PowerPoints for me is they don't often tell the whole story.
SPEAKER_1: I've definitely had classes that I've been absent for, but then looked through the PowerPoint later.
SPEAKER_1: But I think the key to it is that you're still there and you're still listening.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: It's sort of a summary on the greater course.
SPEAKER_2: I've also seen in some of my courses, everyone in the comp side apartment sort of has those fancy touchscreen computers where you turn it into a tablet and then they have their pen and then the PowerPoint is open and you can just write notes on the PowerPoint.
SPEAKER_2: So you can make extra notes on the PowerPoint and that saves it.
SPEAKER_2: That seems like a really smart thing.
SPEAKER_2: I don't do that.
SPEAKER_2: That seems a little far and beyond.
SPEAKER_1: That's extreme.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, that's like they are going to be able to review that PowerPoint and know absolutely everything Galaxy brain level education.
SPEAKER_2: I wanted to ask you, what's another way to take notes?
SPEAKER_2: Okay, what's what's sort of?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, everyone learns differently.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, what's another way to do on the actual answer of how I take notes?
SPEAKER_1: Or do you want me to think of a joke?
SPEAKER_1: You know what?
SPEAKER_1: The actual way to take notes is a joke.
SPEAKER_1: I use Google Docs.
SPEAKER_1: Okay.
SPEAKER_1: The thing about Google Docs is that I'm used to it.
SPEAKER_1: And so I just kept using it.
SPEAKER_1: It's typed and I like to type notes.
SPEAKER_1: I know that there's all those studies out there that say, if you don't handwrite things, you're never going to learn anything.
SPEAKER_1: But like, you know, I think I've disproven that.
SPEAKER_2: Can confirm.
SPEAKER_2: I've failed every course I've taken because I'm a computer scientist and we don't write anything.
SPEAKER_2: In fact, there's never been a computer scientist that passed a course ever.
SPEAKER_2: And that's why that study exists.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_1: The thing about Google Docs on the one hand, you know, it's good.
SPEAKER_1: I like typing notes.
SPEAKER_1: I like having them.
SPEAKER_1: I like having them accessible wherever I am, whether I have my tablet slash laptop, my laptop that is essentially tablet, or if I have my home...
SPEAKER_2: Laplet.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, my Laplet.
SPEAKER_1: Tap top.
SPEAKER_1: Tap top is a different thing.
SPEAKER_2: Can I predict one of the good things that I think you use Google Docs for?
SPEAKER_2: Yes.
SPEAKER_2: A shared document with other people.
SPEAKER_1: Yes, that's exactly it.
SPEAKER_2: See, the problem for me is I don't have any friends in my classes.
SPEAKER_2: I had one class last semester.
SPEAKER_2: I had one friend in it.
SPEAKER_2: That was great.
SPEAKER_2: All the other classes, it was like, all right, I went on co-op and now everyone in my year is like already graduated.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, I don't have that much of that now, but when I was early into university, I was like, I want to make friends with everyone.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_2: No, definitely the first year energy of you sit down next to someone.
SPEAKER_2: They're your friend now.
SPEAKER_2: Fourth year, it's like, please don't look at me, talk to me.
SPEAKER_2: If I can hear you breathing, I will leave.
SPEAKER_1: Like to give you the comparison, first year in a department that wasn't even mine, I like accidentally elbowed someone in the knee behind me and we started talking and we're still friends five years later.
SPEAKER_1: This last semester, I worked on a project with like three other people, did not share my notes, do not have their contact info.
SPEAKER_1: That said, there's two benefits to the Google Docs system in terms of being able to have a shared document.
SPEAKER_1: On the one hand, everyone can contribute their notes.
SPEAKER_1: You can also do the thing of like one person takes notes one class, the other person takes notes the next class, which works surprisingly well.
SPEAKER_2: See, I also really like this because we could just implement for every class, there is one document and everyone has to sign in and now this is the class document and everyone shares the notes.
SPEAKER_2: And it is just 300 people in one word document trying to write cohesive notes at any given point.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, yeah, this is something you said you liked?
SPEAKER_2: And then editing each other.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, so I have sort of experienced this actually.
SPEAKER_1: What?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, so there is, I believe it was a 300 level project class.
SPEAKER_2: We were coding and it was a coding example.
SPEAKER_2: And this TA did set up sort of a coding example that everyone could go on to and edit.
SPEAKER_2: Well, there was kind of a mess, but it got cleaned up pretty quickly.
SPEAKER_2: I don't know, third years are kind of respectful.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, third years are like at a point of like, all right, we can meme a bit, but like, let's chill.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, there was maybe three lines of like, just A's.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, that sounds about right.
SPEAKER_2: But otherwise it was fine.
SPEAKER_1: That said, like, one of the central purposes of the Gull Dock for me is making jokes in the notes.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, I do that every time.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, so you're the joke-meister?
SPEAKER_1: I would not go so far as to say I am the joke-meister, but there is a certain joy in writing something on a Google Doc and then having your friend in the class read it and have to stifle a laugh in the middle of class.
SPEAKER_1: And that's really fun.
SPEAKER_2: Just sort of highlight their note and say, this is bad, please retype it.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, but the thing is, is like, those aren't memes I can share with everyone else in the class because sometimes they're memes that are like funny to us, the gay students, but are not as funny to the general population of a university.
SPEAKER_1: That said, I do admire the ability to just have one collective Google Doc.
SPEAKER_1: But at a certain point, I think that's just like communally taking a class, right?
SPEAKER_1: That's like you're all in this together type of thing.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, I kind of like that.
SPEAKER_1: I do like that.
SPEAKER_1: I think High School Musical taught us we are all in this together, and that is something that we should carry with us into our university years, of course.
SPEAKER_2: High School Musical giving us university education.
SPEAKER_1: It really did.
SPEAKER_2: Do you want to give me another education intaking method?
SPEAKER_2: An absorption method?
SPEAKER_2: Um...
SPEAKER_2: Of the learning?
SPEAKER_1: One of the things that I do is if I do have to take handwritten notes, and sometimes I don't, I just doodle.
SPEAKER_1: And you may think...
SPEAKER_2: So you sort of sketch out, you make portraits of the education.
SPEAKER_1: Well, the thing is, it's not exactly related to the education, because it is just random doodles.
SPEAKER_1: And that may not seem like an educational intake method.
SPEAKER_2: But then you associate the doodle with...
SPEAKER_2: You associate the doodle......how the Hoffington inequality does help you select a sample size.
SPEAKER_1: Exactly.
SPEAKER_1: This spaceship reminds me of the Duncey ad by Alexander Pope, right?
SPEAKER_1: That is the associations that get made.
SPEAKER_2: Can I offer another one?
SPEAKER_1: Sure, give me another one.
SPEAKER_2: Just sort of thought of this.
SPEAKER_2: Little brownies, and they do just contain the class notes.
SPEAKER_2: So you do eat them, and now you understand the class.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait.
SPEAKER_2: And I know what you're going to ask, and no, they do not contain little pieces of paper that have class notes.
SPEAKER_1: So then how do they contain the notes?
SPEAKER_2: Well, they contain the knowledge.
SPEAKER_2: They're knowledge brownies.
SPEAKER_2: It's like weed brownies.
SPEAKER_2: That makes you smarter than a high.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, what's the smart drug?
SPEAKER_2: Knowledge.
SPEAKER_2: You've never gotten high from knowledge before.
SPEAKER_1: Buddy, I'm always high from knowledge.
SPEAKER_1: That's how I maintain my GPA.
SPEAKER_1: With knowledge drugs.
SPEAKER_2: That's Ritalin.
SPEAKER_1: Actually, I take methylphenidate.
SPEAKER_1: So no, it's not Ritalin.
SPEAKER_1: It's methylphenidate.
SPEAKER_1: Gotcha.
SPEAKER_2: Great.
SPEAKER_1: You know, I was also thinking, you do want these PowerPoints, right?
SPEAKER_1: And I am thinking, if you wanted to do it some other way, and sort of maintain the PowerPoints, then you need to do a PowerPoint heist.
SPEAKER_2: Explain.
SPEAKER_1: The teacher doesn't always supply PowerPoints, right?
SPEAKER_2: Oh.
SPEAKER_2: Wait.
SPEAKER_2: So the teacher has PowerPoints, but doesn't give you them?
SPEAKER_1: I've definitely been in classes where that is the case before.
SPEAKER_1: And?
SPEAKER_1: Because the teacher wants you to come to class, and therefore doesn't give you the PowerPoints, because they assume that if you have the PowerPoints, you won't come to class and just read those.
SPEAKER_2: That's a good assumption, and also probably really good for people who can't come to class.
SPEAKER_2: Anyways, let's consider a teacher that won't give you PowerPoints that the teacher absolutely has, and you have gone to their class every day, raise your hand and be like, so when are you posting the PowerPoints?
SPEAKER_2: And they say, I'm not.
SPEAKER_2: Alright, how are we planning the heist?
SPEAKER_2: How are we getting it?
SPEAKER_1: Obviously, it's in their office.
SPEAKER_1: So first of all, you gotta break into the vent.
SPEAKER_2: The vent?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, the vent above their office.
SPEAKER_1: Right?
SPEAKER_1: But we're probably too big to fit in the vents.
SPEAKER_2: I'm also gonna say, I go to a school that's over 100 years old.
SPEAKER_2: I don't know how good those vents are.
SPEAKER_1: They're probably not great.
SPEAKER_2: Not only are they not probably sturdy, I don't know what's in them.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, what's about to be in them is our heist material.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, alright.
SPEAKER_1: Here's what I'm thinking.
SPEAKER_1: We're too big to fit in those vents.
SPEAKER_1: But you know who wouldn't be too big?
SPEAKER_2: Spiders?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: I was gonna go with cats.
SPEAKER_1: I was gonna send May on this expedition as a cat burglar.
SPEAKER_2: Spider cats.
SPEAKER_1: Spider cats!
SPEAKER_1: There we go.
SPEAKER_1: We found our ideal heist.
SPEAKER_2: Now are they spiders the size of cats or cats the size of spiders?
SPEAKER_1: They're actually just cats with six extra legs.
SPEAKER_1: No, four extra legs.
SPEAKER_2: That's great.
SPEAKER_1: It's really good.
SPEAKER_1: And they also have a bunch of extra eyes for the heisting.
SPEAKER_2: They're not all on their heads.
SPEAKER_2: Some of them are near their body.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: One's on their paw.
SPEAKER_1: So we have these kind of going through the vents.
SPEAKER_1: And then, of course...
SPEAKER_2: We have an army of them.
SPEAKER_1: We have an army of them.
SPEAKER_2: Trying to locate the office.
SPEAKER_2: We don't know where the office is for some reason.
SPEAKER_1: We really don't.
SPEAKER_1: Because we never go to office hours.
SPEAKER_1: Because no one ever does.
SPEAKER_2: They do give feedback, too.
SPEAKER_2: We do also have a cam, like our Spider Cat cam.
SPEAKER_1: Because we have to tell them where to go.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, and it is eight angles from every eye.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, so we just have all of our tech and our bioengineered Spider Cats.
SPEAKER_1: And they break through the vent in the correct office after identifying it.
SPEAKER_2: All right, here's a big, big thing that we need to figure out.
SPEAKER_2: How the Spider Cats type.
SPEAKER_2: How the Spider Cats use the keyboard.
SPEAKER_1: They don't, Clair.
SPEAKER_1: Because you see, this is just the setup for the heist.
SPEAKER_2: Sorry, the Spider Cats just go in and unlock the door.
SPEAKER_2: We've sent this army of Spider Cats just to unlock the door.
SPEAKER_1: No, they place a camera.
SPEAKER_1: They place a camera in the office that can't be detected because it looks like an old book.
SPEAKER_2: What's the title of the old book?
SPEAKER_1: How to Land the Ideal Ice.
SPEAKER_1: Because we're really like rubbing it in their face that they didn't catch us.
SPEAKER_1: So you have the book and the camera.
SPEAKER_2: You're carrying the book.
SPEAKER_2: We have hundreds of copies of this book.
SPEAKER_1: And inside the book is the camera.
SPEAKER_1: And then you leave that there.
SPEAKER_1: And then you watch on the camera for the...
SPEAKER_2: Their password as they type it in.
SPEAKER_1: Well, obviously that.
SPEAKER_1: And also though, you wait until they have a USB that has the PowerPoints.
SPEAKER_1: And you wait until they leave...
SPEAKER_1: You know that the USB has the PowerPoints on it by watching them with the camera.
SPEAKER_2: Huh?
SPEAKER_1: And then you wait until they leave the room.
SPEAKER_1: And that's when you strike.
SPEAKER_1: That's when you strike, because you don't need to be able to type to steal a USB.
SPEAKER_2: Why do they have a USB instead of a laptop?
SPEAKER_1: Why do they do anything?
SPEAKER_1: I mean, maybe it's the laptop and you are stealing the laptop.
SPEAKER_2: So we just push them over and steal the laptop from them?
SPEAKER_1: No, you wait until they are out of the office and they've got the laptop and oh, no, you cause a diversion.
SPEAKER_1: You cause a diversion where they are setting it up and they have their laptop or the USB with all the PowerPoints on it.
SPEAKER_1: You cause a diversion that makes them leave.
SPEAKER_1: Then the cat spider comes down, comes back for round two and steals it, brings it outside to us waiting where we rapidly type and transfer it to our own purposes.
SPEAKER_2: Alright, two things.
SPEAKER_2: First, why did we need the book?
SPEAKER_2: Second, how long is the suspension that we could type and search their laptop outside of their office, nonetheless, where they have presumably be distracted to?
SPEAKER_1: No, it's outside of the building.
SPEAKER_2: Oh.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, like where they entered in the vents.
SPEAKER_1: The diversion is going to have to be long, and that is what one of us does, because the other one is typing it in.
SPEAKER_2: We have an army of spider cats, and we're still there.
SPEAKER_1: Of course we are.
SPEAKER_1: Listen, you think the spider cats can cause a diversion long enough?
SPEAKER_1: You know, we don't want them to get rounded up.
SPEAKER_1: I think that might actually be able to cause a diversion.
SPEAKER_1: You know, they might actually be able to cause a long diversion, where you just have a spider cat, and the spider cat is just there long enough for them to have seen the spider cat, but then runs away to chase it, so they have to kind of chase them around.
SPEAKER_2: It just sort of was hanging down near their window, and then it's disappeared.
SPEAKER_2: If it's outside, they need to take a better look at it.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, or it like stole something of theirs, a diversion steal, which is the book with the camera.
SPEAKER_1: Which are like, hey, that cat stole a book.
SPEAKER_2: That was my book.
SPEAKER_2: I don't remember having that book, but that was my book.
SPEAKER_1: It came off of my bookshelf.
SPEAKER_2: I'm very possessive of my books.
SPEAKER_1: And they're going to take this and be like, why did this cat steal this book?
SPEAKER_1: And that's the diversion.
SPEAKER_2: This is a flawless diversion with absolutely nothing to do with it.
SPEAKER_1: Because then the cat gets away, takes the camera with them.
SPEAKER_2: It's not even the same cat spider.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: They do a hand off.
SPEAKER_1: They do a cat off.
SPEAKER_1: A paw off.
SPEAKER_1: And that is how we steal the PowerPoints.
SPEAKER_2: That's a great heist.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, I've got my PowerPoints.
SPEAKER_2: Do you want to give me a craving?
SPEAKER_1: So, something that listeners may or may not know is that for a significant period of my life, I played a sport.
SPEAKER_1: Which is shocking enough, I'm certain to our listeners.
SPEAKER_2: Is it lacrosse?
SPEAKER_1: No.
SPEAKER_2: Is it soccer?
SPEAKER_1: No.
SPEAKER_2: Is it the other soccer?
SPEAKER_1: What's the other soccer?
SPEAKER_2: You know, the one where I was thinking football, honestly.
SPEAKER_2: There's two footballs.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, there's two footballs, not two soccers.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, sometimes it's the same.
SPEAKER_2: So it was second soccer that you were playing.
SPEAKER_1: No, it was not second soccer that I was playing.
SPEAKER_1: It was a little sport that everyone only cares about once every four years.
SPEAKER_1: That's right, it was curling.
SPEAKER_1: I played curling, bro.
SPEAKER_2: Ice rock.
SPEAKER_1: It was ice rock.
SPEAKER_1: Exactly.
SPEAKER_1: And I'm really like...
SPEAKER_2: It's what, you know, across the pond call curling, because they have curling, and it is just a sport of curling every extremity on your body.
SPEAKER_2: So it's just sort of like hand egg, but it's ice rock.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, so first...
SPEAKER_1: Okay, well...
SPEAKER_1: They invented curling, I want to say...
SPEAKER_1: I want to mention...
SPEAKER_1: They also invented soccer and football.
SPEAKER_1: No, they invented football, not football.
SPEAKER_1: What?
SPEAKER_2: Okay.
SPEAKER_2: I know nothing about sports.
SPEAKER_2: Please continue.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, so ice rock is a great sport that I love, and I've been getting the craving to play curling again, but I can't seem to convince my friends to play curling.
SPEAKER_2: I can't imagine why.
SPEAKER_1: This is the thing.
SPEAKER_1: And so, Clair, the only way for me to really save this craving, to play curling and to teach curling to my friends, is I need to know, how cool do I have to make curling to get you and presumably also my other friends to play curling with me?
SPEAKER_1: What do you need to hear from curling to make it fun?
SPEAKER_2: Well, consider this.
SPEAKER_2: There are flames.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: And you do sort of have to dodge the flames as you're brushing the ice.
SPEAKER_1: See, I like that because it...
SPEAKER_2: Because you can't just brush it.
SPEAKER_2: That's too easy.
SPEAKER_2: That's too easy for the job.
SPEAKER_2: It's really easy.
SPEAKER_1: It's a really easy thing to do.
SPEAKER_2: If you can brush your teeth, you can brush some ice.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, that's the exact same thing.
SPEAKER_2: It's just cold teeth.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, you're totally right.
SPEAKER_2: I also think it has to be harder for the rock fur because I can throw a rock.
SPEAKER_2: I've skipped rocks on a pond before.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, it's basically the same thing.
SPEAKER_2: I do think the rock is covered in spikes, including on the handle.
SPEAKER_2: So there are flames and spikes now.
SPEAKER_1: Here's my question.
SPEAKER_1: Here's one of my questions.
SPEAKER_1: I will say ice maintenance is pretty important in curling.
SPEAKER_1: They piss on the ice beforehand.
SPEAKER_1: Okay.
SPEAKER_1: They don't actually, but what they do do is they have a nozzle that they put out in front of them and wave it back and forth, and out of it comes little water droplets.
SPEAKER_1: It's called pebbling the ice, and it does look like they're pissing on the ice.
SPEAKER_2: Great.
SPEAKER_1: So my fear is that the flames will interfere with the piss.
SPEAKER_2: It's like a manual zamboni.
SPEAKER_1: It's like a manual zamboni, except...
SPEAKER_2: A manboni.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, except the zamboni's job is to make ice smooth, whereas the manboni's job is to make it pebbly so that the rocks will slide.
SPEAKER_1: So my one concern...
SPEAKER_2: Sorry, rocks don't slide on smooth ice?
SPEAKER_1: They do, but it's to make them curl.
SPEAKER_1: It's to make them curl and slide in particular ways.
SPEAKER_2: Great.
SPEAKER_1: Trust me, I know it doesn't sound like that's how it works.
SPEAKER_1: Trust me, it is how it works.
SPEAKER_2: So one thing, no more pebbling.
SPEAKER_1: So the thing is...
SPEAKER_2: There is actually just a zamboni, and you do actually have to ride the zamboni as you're throwing the rock, and you have to throw the rock from the zamboni.
SPEAKER_2: It's sort of a drive-by.
SPEAKER_1: I will say...
SPEAKER_2: Actually, no, I've decided.
SPEAKER_2: I've changed my mind.
SPEAKER_2: So you have a big zamboni.
SPEAKER_2: It does not do anything to the ice, though, and it does just from the front of it shoot big spiky rocks, and there is an enemy zamboni, and it also shoots spiky rocks, and your goal is to destroy the other zamboni.
SPEAKER_2: Welcome to better curling.
SPEAKER_1: This is sort of what I...
SPEAKER_1: I don't know if you remember that there was that.
SPEAKER_1: Honestly, I still cannot believe that it happened, the Mario and Sonic Winter Olympics video game.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know if that was a thing that you ever played, but it was a video game.
SPEAKER_2: I rented it from Blockbusters.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, it was a game where Mario and Sonic, all the beloved characters of the Marios and Sonics universes, they played different Winter Olympics sports.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, they also played Summer Olympics, I remember.
SPEAKER_1: They did, and both of those were sponsored by the actual Olympics, which is just really...
SPEAKER_1: Everything about that is the wildest thing to me, and they play curling.
SPEAKER_1: And to be honest, I am surprised that there weren't more spikes involved, because that feels pretty standard for video game.
SPEAKER_1: And so maybe the other thing about this, because I really need to make it clear to you how none of this can work in reality.
SPEAKER_1: So, like, no, it's...
SPEAKER_2: Sorry, pebbling the ice can work in reality, but spike Zamboni rocks don't.
SPEAKER_1: Also the flames on ice.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, the Zambonis also shoot the flames.
SPEAKER_1: Well, no, no, no, that's not the issue, Clair.
SPEAKER_2: You have people who aren't in Zambonis, and they have to dodge the flames.
SPEAKER_1: It melts the ice.
SPEAKER_2: See, this is why you have Zambonis.
SPEAKER_2: Their job isn't to redo the ice, it's to remake the ice.
SPEAKER_2: They're Zamboni pluses.
SPEAKER_2: So, you know, you have your side of the ice, and you're trying to melt the opponent's side of the ice and destroy their Zamboni.
SPEAKER_2: And also char their non-Zamboni people who are just running around.
SPEAKER_2: They have no discernible purpose other than not to be fried.
SPEAKER_2: If they get fried and all your non-Zamboni writers get fried, you also lose.
SPEAKER_2: It's a second lose condition.
SPEAKER_1: Zamboni Wars and the new curling.
SPEAKER_1: I will say...
SPEAKER_2: I'll play that with you.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, I will say that maybe we need to do a proof of concept of this first in a digital space, because I do understand, I don't think any curling rink in reality is ever going to let anyone do this.
SPEAKER_1: We got in trouble for doing people curling, which...
SPEAKER_2: Where you curl the people?
SPEAKER_1: Well, yeah, there's two versions of people curling, both of which we were not allowed to do when we were younger.
SPEAKER_1: One version is there's like slidey things that you put on your feet to make you slide.
SPEAKER_2: Skis?
SPEAKER_1: Nope.
SPEAKER_2: Blades?
SPEAKER_1: Nope.
SPEAKER_2: I don't know anything about ice skating, so I was trying to make that joke.
SPEAKER_2: What do you put on?
SPEAKER_1: They're literally just like slidey plastic.
SPEAKER_1: They're just plastic that is meant to slide.
SPEAKER_2: And on ice?
SPEAKER_1: Pretty slidey.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, on ice.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, so I have a secret.
SPEAKER_2: You can wear shoes.
SPEAKER_2: It does the same thing.
SPEAKER_1: No, it doesn't.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, I've slipped on ice before.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, but this is a different...
SPEAKER_1: Listen, you're not allowed to argue with me about what is...
SPEAKER_1: My point was, people curling, one version is to put all the slidey things on anywhere where the person's body touches the ice, and you kind of just use them as a rock.
SPEAKER_1: And just see how far you can get them.
SPEAKER_1: The other version, which was even more not allowed, was you took the small people, the smallest people, and you put them on the rocks.
SPEAKER_1: And then they flew down, and everyone had a great time until it wasn't allowed anymore.
SPEAKER_1: No one ever got hurt, so it was okay.
SPEAKER_2: No one ever got hurt.
SPEAKER_1: No, actually not.
SPEAKER_1: Not doing that.
SPEAKER_1: People got hurt and curling all the time.
SPEAKER_2: It's a very extreme sport.
SPEAKER_1: It's a very extreme sport.
SPEAKER_1: Listen, you try and brush on the ice like you're brushing your teeth.
SPEAKER_2: It's almost as extreme as curling too.
SPEAKER_1: It's true, but you know, it's an extreme sport.
SPEAKER_1: You just said you slip and fall on the ice all the time.
SPEAKER_1: And curling, that's death.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, you will get run over by the Zamboni.
SPEAKER_1: Or charred.
SPEAKER_2: Or hit in the face by a spike clock.
SPEAKER_1: There's many ways to die in curling.
SPEAKER_1: The other thing about curling, too, is that it is kind of trench-type warfare.
SPEAKER_2: Okay.
SPEAKER_1: Because you can't really go in the middle of that, or you're kind of screwed, because you will get charred, or spiked, or run over.
SPEAKER_1: You really need to...
SPEAKER_2: Or just sort of clotheslined by the other people who aren't Zambonis.
SPEAKER_2: Physical contact is 100% allowed.
SPEAKER_1: Of course.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, of course.
SPEAKER_1: But you still use brooms.
SPEAKER_1: Just brooms.
SPEAKER_2: It's like Quidditch, but instead of flying on them, you just sort of whale on each other.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_1: I think it's also important to note that there is already kind of a set out area that in this version you burn down, because there is a zone in Curling Ice called the house.
SPEAKER_1: And so your goal is to burn down your opponent's house.
SPEAKER_1: And that's curling.
SPEAKER_2: That's often the goal in life, isn't it?
SPEAKER_1: It really does seem to be.
SPEAKER_1: And maybe curling can just sort of intensify that.
SPEAKER_1: I don't want to bring us together.
SPEAKER_1: I don't want to make things more cordial or polite, because things are fairly polite in curling, except there's a lot of drinking, which can still be quite polite.
SPEAKER_1: We once played against a team who was just like, was visiting for the tournament and was just very hammered the entire time.
SPEAKER_1: Which is kind of normal in curling.
SPEAKER_1: There's a bar above the ice usually, which is also where people watch from.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, that's what curling is.
SPEAKER_1: There's like a zone up there with windows that look out on the ice and there's a bar there.
SPEAKER_2: Just sort of throw you down your drink like heads and then like a glass of beer comes smashing down.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, through the glass that's there.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: During that game at one point, they were sort of waiting to throw the rock and they were looking for the person who's supposed to throw the rock.
SPEAKER_1: They're like, hey, where's Jerry?
SPEAKER_1: And they look up and up there in the window is this guy drinking his beer, like chugging it, looks down, notices him, goes, oh shit, and then runs down and takes a shot.
SPEAKER_1: So, you know, curling is pretty polite.
SPEAKER_1: And I think that this is a good way to disrupt that.
SPEAKER_1: You can, I think, also be as intoxicated as you like playing this sport.
SPEAKER_2: I do think new curling also is very polite.
SPEAKER_2: You do have to apologize when you run someone over.
SPEAKER_2: Otherwise, it's a foul.
SPEAKER_2: But as long as you apologize, it's okay.
SPEAKER_1: How many fatalities a game are we talking here?
SPEAKER_2: Well, what do we consider a fatality?
SPEAKER_1: Someone is no longer breathing and is dead.
SPEAKER_2: Do they still have a corporeal form?
SPEAKER_1: Yes or no, because if they can't be revived and given life again, then I think that's what dead means.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, but what if hole in their side, but put bandage on it, we all good now.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, but are they breathing?
SPEAKER_2: Do they have to be breathing two hours after the game ends?
SPEAKER_1: I think that they do.
SPEAKER_2: We might have a problem with their curling.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, but you know, that's the type of sacrifices you make when you're playing curling.
SPEAKER_1: It's the type of sacrifices I always made playing curling.
SPEAKER_1: Pour one out for all of my teammates who died.
SPEAKER_1: I can't even believe I survived playing it for six years.
SPEAKER_2: That game really rocks, doesn't it?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_1: Actually, Clair, I've decided I don't want to play curling with you anymore.
SPEAKER_1: So, cravings solved.
SPEAKER_2: Great.
SPEAKER_1: Do you want to finish this off?
SPEAKER_2: Sure.
SPEAKER_1: We said 2019 was about finishing things.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I guess.
SPEAKER_1: Do you want to finish off this episode?
SPEAKER_2: Can I give you a craving first?
SPEAKER_1: I mean, that's what I mean.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_1: The craving that is our last craving and therefore is the finish.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, I'm going to give it to you right now.
SPEAKER_2: It's Cora the Last Airbender.
SPEAKER_2: That's not the name.
SPEAKER_2: It's Cora, the Legend of Cora.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, it's the sequel to your earlier craving of Avatar the Last Airbender.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, so it's not just Cora, but I did just finish Cora.
SPEAKER_2: It's very good.
SPEAKER_2: It was my second time going through Cora.
SPEAKER_2: I had seen it before.
SPEAKER_2: I really like it.
SPEAKER_2: I do just sort of want to say a couple things that I really liked about Cora.
SPEAKER_1: Okay.
SPEAKER_2: After watching all of it consecutively, instead of watching it as it came out weekly, like I did originally, it's so good.
SPEAKER_2: And you look at Avatar, and everyone is into the traditional ways of bending.
SPEAKER_2: And then you get to Cora, and it's literally the industrial era.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: They have industrialized bending, and by the end of the show, it's just, I mean, they're in almost the modern era, essentially, in terms of fantasy world, whatever that is.
SPEAKER_2: And so my real craving, my craving, what does the next Avatar look like?
SPEAKER_1: Is there space?
SPEAKER_1: Do we get space bending?
SPEAKER_1: Okay, now this, now this I can, see, I was worried.
SPEAKER_2: What's the next big thing?
SPEAKER_1: See, I was worried, Clair, because now I've watched Avatar, The Last Airmanter, but I still have only watched one episode of Quora, so I'm not super qualified to speak on Quora.
SPEAKER_2: Alright, think basically, end of 1800s, beginning of, well, no, they have pretty good cars actually.
SPEAKER_2: 1950s, 1960s.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, 1950s?
SPEAKER_2: Baby, I don't know.
SPEAKER_1: The vibe I got from it was like, turn of the century.
SPEAKER_2: Oh yeah, no, it super starts in like, maybe 1850s and by the end of the five years of the Quora, I think in terms of technology, it advances pretty significantly.
SPEAKER_1: The thing about technology and the thing about technology in other worlds, especially in fantasy worlds, is like, it doesn't progress the same way that it does in our world.
SPEAKER_1: So you have some technology that is still 1850s era, and then you have some technology that's 1950s era, because that's the way that things have happened.
SPEAKER_2: Next Avatar, how many years in the future?
SPEAKER_2: Because Cora is, I believe, 50 years in the future of The Last Avatar.
SPEAKER_2: Is it 50 years again, or is it like 200 years?
SPEAKER_2: Or is it like 10,000 years?
SPEAKER_2: What's the next Avatar thing?
SPEAKER_1: I like the idea that every Avatar we've known is now considered an ancient Avatar.
SPEAKER_1: Aang and Cora are both considered ancient, once upon a time, Avatars.
SPEAKER_2: Like they're not even known anymore?
SPEAKER_2: They're just sort of rumored?
SPEAKER_1: Well, the Avatars I think are all still known.
SPEAKER_1: From my understanding, at least, of Avatar The Last Airbender, is that they are kind of still known.
SPEAKER_1: But it's not the situation of Aang gets advice from the previous Avatar.
SPEAKER_1: It's been, I think, a couple hundred years is a good amount of time to have passed.
SPEAKER_1: It's the equivalent of being like, oh yeah, that king 600 years ago.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, 500, 600 years, this is the future.
SPEAKER_1: So this is the future, this is the future.
SPEAKER_2: So, do we have space travel?
SPEAKER_2: I mean, we have to.
SPEAKER_1: We have to.
SPEAKER_1: I think somewhere someone has to have developed space bending.
SPEAKER_1: The ability to bend space.
SPEAKER_2: Is space bending a sub sort of thing, or is this like an avatar only thing, or what up?
SPEAKER_1: I mean, here's my question is like...
SPEAKER_2: Also, do they meet other species from different planets?
SPEAKER_2: Is bending only exclusive to the planet?
SPEAKER_1: Oh, what if?
SPEAKER_1: Oh, hey.
SPEAKER_2: Can they teach bending to other species that they unlock different bending?
SPEAKER_1: What if the aliens are the ones who teach them space bending?
SPEAKER_1: Like the aliens, there was like, and you know, like we could, you could do the story of like the first contact story.
SPEAKER_2: Also, space bending is a little OP, because we also have to have time bending if we have space bending.
SPEAKER_1: Do we have to have that?
SPEAKER_2: How do we have space bending without time bending?
SPEAKER_1: Uh, how do we have air bending without vacuum bending?
SPEAKER_2: That's not the relationship between space and time, but...
SPEAKER_1: It's pretty the same.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, my thought is that it is like bending the vacuum of space.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know.
SPEAKER_1: You know, we could have time bending.
SPEAKER_1: Maybe time bending is just like not...
SPEAKER_1: Gravity.
SPEAKER_2: That's space bending.
SPEAKER_2: But it's also time bending.
SPEAKER_1: Well, there you go.
SPEAKER_1: It's gravity bending.
SPEAKER_2: So space is time bending.
SPEAKER_1: It's gravity bending.
SPEAKER_2: This is the most OP bending.
SPEAKER_2: And of course the avatar needs to learn it.
SPEAKER_1: Of course the avatar needs to learn it.
SPEAKER_1: I think also important is like, do other benders even matter?
SPEAKER_1: Oh, I got it.
SPEAKER_2: I got it.
SPEAKER_2: I got our story.
SPEAKER_1: All right, give it to me.
SPEAKER_2: Here's why we've returned 500 laters is...
SPEAKER_1: 500 laters.
SPEAKER_2: 500 laters, we have returned...
SPEAKER_1: After 500.
SPEAKER_2: What's the unit's 500 two-thirds is?
SPEAKER_2: Fuck off.
SPEAKER_2: So, the avatar has learned space-time bending.
SPEAKER_2: Maybe it's not 500 laters.
SPEAKER_2: It is whatever amount...
SPEAKER_2: Whatever amount of time it takes to meet new species, teach them bending, and the avatar knows it.
SPEAKER_2: And the avatar's disappeared again, because now there's many, many people, and the avatar did just sort of make a pocket dimension for themself.
SPEAKER_2: And now is the return of the avatar, because the avatar decided to live out the rest of their life, and this was the first selfish avatar in history, and now this next avatar is the story, and everyone is like, you're the avatar.
SPEAKER_1: You're an asshole!
SPEAKER_1: The other thing that I immediately thought of when you said pocket dimension is like, is like, well, it's space-time bending, right?
SPEAKER_1: So who says they can't just go back in time and get every other avatar with them in the pocket dimension?
SPEAKER_1: Avatar, the first avatar party.
SPEAKER_1: It's got to be sick as hell in there, right?
SPEAKER_1: That's got to be the best, and everyone else on the outside is suffering.
SPEAKER_2: So we got the avatar dimension now.
SPEAKER_1: The avatar dimension.
SPEAKER_2: This sort of means the avatar cycle is pointless now.
SPEAKER_1: Because they've got all of them, right?
SPEAKER_2: So wait, does this just mean there's just a pocket dimension with every avatar and they can all just come in and out at will because, I mean, all your vendors that do know spacebending can just open it up for all your non-spacebending avatars or just teach them.
SPEAKER_2: And now, like, the season climax or, I don't know, series climaxes, every avatar in existence.
SPEAKER_2: And this is how you do have many different planets is I think you have an avatar for every planet.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, I like that, actually.
SPEAKER_1: We've turned this around to being not stupid anymore, being actually interesting.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, different avatars for different planets, and I think you have probably conflicts between the different avatars.
SPEAKER_1: Like, maybe that's the thing, because what you see in Avatar, and I don't know what you see in Korra, but what you see in Avatar is like, the Avatar goes up against powerful forces that are not other avatars.
SPEAKER_2: But what if Avatar v.
SPEAKER_2: Avatar?
SPEAKER_1: Right?
SPEAKER_1: Like, what if the rival is another Avatar?
SPEAKER_2: I mean, there is that asshole Avatar that did create the original Pocket Dimension, and they're sort of like, why are you helping these people?
SPEAKER_2: That one never leaves the Pocket Dimension, because time doesn't mean anything, obviously, when you can time bend.
SPEAKER_1: That feels like, that just feels like that planet is the one that is like, all of this is meaningless.
SPEAKER_1: None of this matters.
SPEAKER_1: How do these traditions even work?
SPEAKER_1: Why do they even make sense?
SPEAKER_1: Why do we still do them?
SPEAKER_1: Which I think is, I assume is something that Korra also maybe deals with a bit here and there.
SPEAKER_1: If it's not, then it should be, because the idea of why does tradition even matter, I think is interesting when you have the world of the Avatar, where traditions create extremely powerful beings.
SPEAKER_1: Is it the thing of who cares about any of this?
SPEAKER_1: Our Avatar abandoned us, benders can't do anything against space benders.
SPEAKER_2: Space benders are powerful.
SPEAKER_2: Avatar mode space bender can just create a black hole.
SPEAKER_2: I think we open with one of the Avatars.
SPEAKER_2: We don't know it's one of the Avatars.
SPEAKER_2: There's just a black hole.
SPEAKER_2: And it does destroy the original planet and all the system.
SPEAKER_1: Right.
SPEAKER_2: And like, who did it?
SPEAKER_2: We don't know.
SPEAKER_2: And it sends shockwaves to other Avatars.
SPEAKER_2: Like, oh, there's someone out there.
SPEAKER_2: How do they do it?
SPEAKER_1: I feel a disturbance in the Avatar force.
SPEAKER_1: It is as if a thousand...
SPEAKER_1: And this is how Star Wars started.
SPEAKER_1: My thought with someone does this big catastrophic event is maybe it's just that the asshole Avatar leaves the pocket of medicine and is like, all right, I'm ready to what?
SPEAKER_2: I don't like it.
SPEAKER_1: What is happening?
SPEAKER_1: And then goes back in time to try and prevent this.
SPEAKER_1: But also maybe it's just like, oh yeah, we're opening this series with trillions of people have died.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, so we do just sort of have Doctor Who Star Wars mashup of like, now we have many different timelines because we do have a bunch of time vendors.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, this is all going to go back and try to prevent it.
SPEAKER_1: What did we expect when we made time vendors?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I mean, like, what do you like?
SPEAKER_2: You got to be respectful of the timeline.
SPEAKER_2: Actually, what if that's a rule is you can't go back in time unless you're the Avatar?
SPEAKER_2: Because Avatar mode.
SPEAKER_1: What if you just can't and then the Avatar is like, fuck that.
SPEAKER_1: I'm going to save all of these people's lives because I've suddenly decided I'm a good person.
SPEAKER_2: I've decided I'm doing the right thing argument.
SPEAKER_2: Love that.
SPEAKER_1: Exactly.
SPEAKER_2: And then we explore the Avatar's absolutism.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_1: But we explore what an asshole the person who made the black hole is.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I think that's the Avatar that was the asshole.
SPEAKER_2: But I think it's the future version.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, and that's not revealed until later on.
SPEAKER_1: You don't know which Avatar it is.
SPEAKER_1: And then it's the spoiler of...
SPEAKER_2: I think that Avatar learns that it was them from the future that made the black hole.
SPEAKER_2: Do they feel remorse that now they know that they have to in order to keep the time space continuum stable?
SPEAKER_2: Or do they feel angry or do they realize their purpose?
SPEAKER_1: I think that's the moment where they're like, well, then I'm gonna fix the timeline.
SPEAKER_1: And then they can't.
SPEAKER_2: And then they accidentally do it?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I think they try to and in their hastiness, they accidentally do it.
SPEAKER_2: Basically, is it a tragedy or is it a tragedy ending something?
SPEAKER_1: It could be.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, we've also we've done this to something that was a children's series.
SPEAKER_1: And I do just want to consider that maybe it doesn't have to go that dark, like immediately.
SPEAKER_2: I do also want to throw out that pretty much every children's series ever is now dark.
SPEAKER_1: But I don't like that.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, me neither.
SPEAKER_1: So why did we make one of those?
SPEAKER_1: We could do something so much better.
SPEAKER_1: We have all of space and time to work with Clair.
SPEAKER_1: Why did we go for trillions of people being dead?
SPEAKER_2: Because space and trillions of lives don't matter in the face of infinity.
SPEAKER_1: There you go.
SPEAKER_2: It's the antagonist line.
SPEAKER_1: You know, Clair...
SPEAKER_2: It's actually just Macbeth, but space.
SPEAKER_1: But none of that is Macbeth.
SPEAKER_1: None of that is even remotely Macbeth.
SPEAKER_2: The two things I know, sports and Macbeth.
SPEAKER_1: Macbeth could be a great sport.
SPEAKER_2: It's my favorite sport.
SPEAKER_1: How many people can you kill without feeling the overwhelming guilt?
SPEAKER_2: I am no man and I gold.
SPEAKER_2: Scored a goal.
SPEAKER_2: I gold.
SPEAKER_1: That was Lord of the Rings.
SPEAKER_1: The I am no man line is Lord of the Rings.
SPEAKER_1: Lady Macbeth's whole thing is not, I am no man.
SPEAKER_1: It is looking at me like, you are no man, you pussy ass.
SPEAKER_2: It's the same thing.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, same thing.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, so we've made a tragic nick avatar.
SPEAKER_1: Thanks, that's good.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: It feels like a dark place to leave it on.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, well, here's something to put your mind at ease.
SPEAKER_2: Time bending does exist and therefore, it's pointless.
SPEAKER_2: We do just save them by Doctor Who methods of, yeah, oh, look, the planet died.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, look, we put the planet in a box and we took it with us.
SPEAKER_2: Thanks, Doctor Who.
SPEAKER_1: I'm so glad the avatar is a Time Lord.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Well, this has been Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_1: It has been...
SPEAKER_2: The timey wimey Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_1: The timey wimey Salt Cravings about pirates and...
SPEAKER_2: Pirate avatar.
SPEAKER_1: That's about...
SPEAKER_1: Well, now I'm going to have to think about that and think about that for next time.
SPEAKER_1: So I have a new craving now, pirate avatar.
SPEAKER_2: That's good.
SPEAKER_2: If you want to find us on the social medias where we do have personalities that is a giant salt shaker, you can find us at Salt Cravings on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.
SPEAKER_1: There's a really weird way to...
SPEAKER_1: I mean, I guess we do.
SPEAKER_1: That's true.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: And that's what you can find there.
SPEAKER_2: You can also leave us a review on iTunes, go do it, or Google Play or anywhere.
SPEAKER_2: Just tell us we're neat.
SPEAKER_1: Tell us we're neat.
SPEAKER_2: Post the Marge Simpson meme, but our podcast.
SPEAKER_2: I just think that's neat.
SPEAKER_1: Also, you know, give us some stars in there.
SPEAKER_1: Just that too.
SPEAKER_2: A neat amount of stars.
SPEAKER_2: A nice amount of stars.
SPEAKER_1: 69 stars.
SPEAKER_1: You can also tell us what you're craving if you want.
SPEAKER_2: You can also just whisper into the ear of your dog and we will hear it.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, you can do that.
SPEAKER_1: Also, if you want it to be, because that will take probably a while to get back to us.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, that's slow.
SPEAKER_1: If you want it to be a little bit faster.
SPEAKER_2: Travels through time.
SPEAKER_1: You could just reply to us on social media somewhere.
SPEAKER_1: And we'll see it.
SPEAKER_2: Tag us.
SPEAKER_1: We'll see all.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, you know, we're time benders and space benders.
SPEAKER_2: But only as long as the time and space is the Internet.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, is there a time and space that isn't the Internet?