SPEAKER_2: Hello, and welcome to the Salt Cravings News Network.
SPEAKER_2: I'm Brianna Price.
SPEAKER_1: And I'm Clair.
SPEAKER_2: And today, our top story, caterpillars across the Pacific Northwest have become carnivorous.
SPEAKER_2: We go now to our reporter in the field, Clair.
SPEAKER_2: Clair, how would you say the situation is developing?
SPEAKER_1: Well, as you can see from the millions of caterpillars crawling on me and eating me alive, not great.
SPEAKER_2: Right, do you find that the caterpillars are generally attacking the populace or is it just you for some reason?
SPEAKER_1: It is just me for some reason.
SPEAKER_2: Okay.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know, there's millions of them and it's sort of like a tingly, you know when your leg go to sleep, but like whole body.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, well that's interesting.
SPEAKER_2: Are they able to pierce the flesh particularly well?
SPEAKER_1: They haven't made it through, oh, the first one just did.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, it's inside me now.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, all right.
SPEAKER_2: Well, with that in mind, I think that we will follow that story as it develops.
SPEAKER_2: Thank you, Clair.
SPEAKER_2: We will let you know when we need to hear from you next.
SPEAKER_1: I don't think he will.
SPEAKER_2: All right, our second story of the day is Cravings.
SPEAKER_2: As we know, there's been a developing situation on the fact that people have Cravings.
SPEAKER_2: Today, we have a number of Cravings.
SPEAKER_2: Our first Craving comes to us from Clair.
SPEAKER_2: This is not to be confused with the Clair who's being eaten by Caterpillars.
SPEAKER_2: This is a different Clair.
SPEAKER_2: Clair, could you tell us about your first Craving?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: My first Craving, now it is kind of similar to being eaten alive by Caterpillars.
SPEAKER_2: Of course, of course.
SPEAKER_1: It is spicy food and it is spicy food.
SPEAKER_2: Can you link that to the Caterpillar?
SPEAKER_1: Don't worry.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, cool, thank you.
SPEAKER_1: So you know how spicy food give you the tingles in the belly almost like being eaten alive by Caterpillars?
SPEAKER_2: Yes, those experiences we all have experienced.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I mean, that's the goal, right?
SPEAKER_1: I just want a good spicy food that makes me feel like I'm being eaten alive by Caterpillars.
SPEAKER_2: That's your goal?
SPEAKER_2: That's your goal is to be eaten alive by Caterpillars?
SPEAKER_1: To feel like I'm being eaten alive by Caterpillars.
SPEAKER_1: If I'm not sweating, Right.
SPEAKER_1: If I'm not hurting, and if I don't wanna cry after the meal, was it even spicy?
SPEAKER_2: Why is this, why do you want this?
SPEAKER_1: Doesn't everybody?
SPEAKER_2: I, in my experience, I don't tend to, but I do understand in the theory how one could.
SPEAKER_1: You're saying that my subjective opinion isn't universal?
SPEAKER_2: It's true, your experiences are not universal, which is a weird thought that you and I have never had to think about before.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: How should we address this craving for you?
SPEAKER_1: I just want to quickly ask you, what's some good spicy food that make me feel like I am beaten, eaten alive by Caterpillar?
SPEAKER_2: I mean, spicy sauces are great because when you get a spicy sauce, you're really just like getting more and more and more of it, you know?
SPEAKER_1: You can just put whatever you want in there.
SPEAKER_2: You can put whatever you want in there.
SPEAKER_1: You can make some Caterpillar Crunchies and then you can really, now you can eat the Caterpillar and you show that Caterpillar.
SPEAKER_2: Exactly, you show that Caterpillar who's boss and also maybe the Caterpillars are spicy.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, that could help with the whole carnivorous situation.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, we can live in a world where it is eat or be eaten by Caterpillars.
SPEAKER_2: We certainly can.
SPEAKER_2: An interesting application of spicy food that I've seen is like spicy dessert food, spicy chocolate.
SPEAKER_2: You get that like chocolate with chilies or chocolate with other.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, no, I've seen that.
SPEAKER_1: I've seen the like the Wasabi chocolate too.
SPEAKER_2: Oh God, Wasabi chocolate?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, it's not.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, if you like the Wasabi chocolate, power to you, but.
SPEAKER_1: It's a lot.
SPEAKER_1: It's not good.
SPEAKER_2: It's not great.
SPEAKER_1: It just sort of tastes like putting a big thing of Wasabi in your mouth.
SPEAKER_2: Great, that's awesome.
SPEAKER_2: That sounds really fun.
SPEAKER_2: So in that case, do you think that spicy chocolate should be more explored?
SPEAKER_1: Oh yeah, I've had the chili chocolate as well.
SPEAKER_1: Definitely good.
SPEAKER_1: And I do want to like specify that there is a difference between Wasabi spicy and chili spicy.
SPEAKER_1: And I want chili spicy.
SPEAKER_2: What's the specific benefit of chili spicy?
SPEAKER_1: Capsaicin.
SPEAKER_2: Is that not the same case with Wasabi?
SPEAKER_1: I honestly never thought about it until this very second.
SPEAKER_1: I thought no.
SPEAKER_2: I am not familiar with the chemical structure of Wasabi or in fact the chemical structure of most foods, but I think you could theoretically make anything spicy, couldn't you?
SPEAKER_1: I mean, if you have a spicy sauce.
SPEAKER_2: It's true, if you have a spicy sauce, you can make anything spicy.
SPEAKER_1: If you dip your salad in spicy sauce.
SPEAKER_2: You could just have the salad salt in with the, you know.
SPEAKER_1: Spicy salad salt now.
SPEAKER_2: Spicy salad salt, spicy salad salt.
SPEAKER_2: Now this is where we're, this is where we gotta be.
SPEAKER_2: I think spicy salad salt, spicy salts in general are a really good idea.
SPEAKER_2: And hey, you could make them look like regular salt.
SPEAKER_2: And just make it very confusing for everyone in your home, being like, oh, can you pass the salt?
SPEAKER_2: And you're like, huh, sure.
SPEAKER_1: I think my first question would be like, why did you laugh when I asked you to pass the salt?
SPEAKER_2: No reason, ha, ha, ha.
SPEAKER_2: Oh yes, here's the salt, ha, ha.
SPEAKER_1: Why are you watching me intently while I eat and apply the salt?
SPEAKER_2: I mean, it's a salt craving.
SPEAKER_2: Really interested in watching you put that salt all over everything you're eating, ha, ha, ha.
SPEAKER_2: What's your favorite application of spicy?
SPEAKER_1: Chili.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: I know it's pretty basic, but I just, I wanna go to a chili fest.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I wanna eat a big bunch of different chilies in tiny bowls, little spoons of chilies.
SPEAKER_2: Nice.
SPEAKER_1: And just, which chili does the most damage?
SPEAKER_2: So you're not so much in this for, I like the taste of chilies, you're more-
SPEAKER_1: Oh, I love the taste of chilies.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, well, that's important, but it seems like significant-
SPEAKER_1: You can say no to beans and vegetables.
SPEAKER_2: I mean me, but I understand.
SPEAKER_2: So it is significantly about how much damage you can do to yourself, though.
SPEAKER_2: That is an important factor.
SPEAKER_2: It's like, how can I find the worst experience for myself?
SPEAKER_1: Specifically, how can I make my digestive tract wish that it was flipped inside out?
SPEAKER_2: And that's a good goal to shoot for.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, just like really make your body feel like a mess.
SPEAKER_2: I don't usually, I mean, I maybe have a privilege here in that I don't need spicy food for my digestive tract to feel like a disaster because of the conditions that I have genuinely just make my stomach be in a lot of pain randomly sometimes from eating anything.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I'm really envious.
SPEAKER_1: That is a great privilege of yours.
SPEAKER_2: It is a great privilege of mine.
SPEAKER_2: And that's why I don't eat so much spicy food.
SPEAKER_2: It's definitely cause I never develop good tolerance for spicy food that I am constantly trying to build up, but I'm still in the process of building up because it's hard to eat spicy food.
SPEAKER_2: That said, I think one of my favorite types of spicy food is a lot of Indian food that is spicy.
SPEAKER_2: It's so tasty.
SPEAKER_2: A spicy curry is one of those things that makes me want to develop my tolerance for spicy food so I can eat more and more of it without being like, ah, my mouth is on fire.
SPEAKER_1: Definitely, I have this tolerance probably because of my father, who would always make us food.
SPEAKER_1: And he'd make us chilies, he'd make us curries, and he'd always give them a five-star heat rating.
SPEAKER_1: And it's like, this was the thing.
SPEAKER_1: This was the fun thing.
SPEAKER_1: It's like, ooh, this one's like a four-star.
SPEAKER_1: I'd be like, all right, we're gonna be sweating by the end of this.
SPEAKER_1: Let's get ready.
SPEAKER_1: Good memories, good food.
SPEAKER_2: And yeah, you have a big tolerance for spicy food.
SPEAKER_2: It can eat all the very good spicy food.
SPEAKER_1: Now I can eat whatever the frick I want.
SPEAKER_2: It's true.
SPEAKER_2: You can do that.
SPEAKER_2: I think the tolerance for spicy food in my house, I had an enabler in my mother who also was not into spicy food.
SPEAKER_1: That's fair.
SPEAKER_2: And so the two of us would just be like, ah, we're kind of good.
SPEAKER_2: Meanwhile, my father and my sister, mm, this could be spicier.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I don't know.
SPEAKER_1: Like, I just imagine in your household, it's like, this water's a little too warm.
SPEAKER_1: It's too spicy.
SPEAKER_2: Oh God, that would be about where my mother would be at.
SPEAKER_2: I didn't have to question a lot of, why do I have to eat this spicy food?
SPEAKER_2: Oh, my mom isn't, so I don't have to.
SPEAKER_1: I kind of want to bring this back.
SPEAKER_1: I want to solve this craving.
SPEAKER_2: How do you solve the craving of spicy food?
SPEAKER_1: I feel like there's a few routes we could go down.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: I'm gonna, before we jump into anyone, I just want to lay them out.
SPEAKER_1: There's one, metal digestive tract.
SPEAKER_1: Just replace the whole digestive tract and you can go as spicy as you want.
SPEAKER_1: Number two, you get a friend.
SPEAKER_1: Maybe it's a robot friend, maybe it's a real friend.
SPEAKER_1: And you go and you eat spicy food together and you just get hotter and hotter food until one of you passes out.
SPEAKER_1: Now route three, you just eat a pepper and cry.
SPEAKER_2: All right, I'm not super down with route three.
SPEAKER_2: It sounds pretty hot, but pretty boring.
SPEAKER_2: But the other routes, I mean, I don't think the digestive track is necessarily the major problem for me at least for spicy food.
SPEAKER_2: I don't know about you.
SPEAKER_2: You know, the tongue also has something to say about spicy food.
SPEAKER_1: What about metal tongue?
SPEAKER_2: Then you can't taste it, what's the point?
SPEAKER_1: Well, then you program it to taste it, but still metal tongue.
SPEAKER_1: So it doesn't-
SPEAKER_2: So what you're saying, no, no, no, Clair, what your solution here is, is become an android.
SPEAKER_2: That's what you're saying here.
SPEAKER_2: And I need you to know that that is what you're saying.
SPEAKER_1: Become a spice-loving android.
SPEAKER_1: Become the world's first spice-pursuant android.
SPEAKER_2: I guess, yeah.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, that is a solution to just be like, I am an android and I am here to eat the world's spiciest food.
SPEAKER_2: I like the one about having a competition of spicy food until the first person passes out.
SPEAKER_1: It's kind of like taking shots, but you just take like spicy noodle challenge.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, cause now I'm thinking about a drinking game, but instead of drinking, you eat spicy food.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I know exactly.
SPEAKER_1: That sounds super fun.
SPEAKER_2: That would actually be really fun.
SPEAKER_2: There are games out there where one of the things is like a chocolate version of Russian roulette where like everything is a normal chocolate except for one of them, which is excessively spicy.
SPEAKER_2: And I think that's a good idea, is just the spicy game.
SPEAKER_1: Welcome to the spicy games.
SPEAKER_1: Thanks.
SPEAKER_1: Do you want to give me a Craver?
SPEAKER_2: I would, well, I am the Craver.
SPEAKER_2: So I'm not going to give myself to you.
SPEAKER_2: We are in this together, but what we do, do, and the time, in the, in the, I know.
SPEAKER_2: We watch competitive video games.
SPEAKER_2: And not only do we do that, we often come up with lore for those competitive scenes of video games.
SPEAKER_1: Wait, so are you coming up with lore for the game or the gamers?
SPEAKER_2: Let me, yeah, for the gamers.
SPEAKER_2: So what I'm referring to is Smash Brothers.
SPEAKER_2: And what I'm referring to is the fact that the Smash Brothers Melee competitive scene has so much lore behind it.
SPEAKER_2: You look at the vocabulary, the terms, there are people called gods, there's the god slayer.
SPEAKER_2: There's like, competitive Melee is the pro wrestling of the e-sports world.
SPEAKER_2: The actual scene has issues and I have mixed feelings on everyone because that is how e-sports tends to go.
SPEAKER_2: It's how sports and a community.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, but there's a lot of really interesting, there's not a whole lot of other competitive scenes that have the same level of like, where you can say a whole bunch of words and it means something to someone who's into it.
SPEAKER_2: I've never thought about this.
SPEAKER_2: Try to explain to someone like...
SPEAKER_1: How Mewtwo King is my favorite god.
SPEAKER_2: That's a sentence.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, Mewtwo King is my favorite god.
SPEAKER_2: Also the scene totally changed when someone discovered wave dashing.
SPEAKER_2: Oh yeah, you know.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, Marsfair is my favorite fair.
SPEAKER_2: Marsfair is my favorite fair.
SPEAKER_2: This is the sort of thing, right?
SPEAKER_2: It's like, I love the gods, like PPMT and the Hungry Box, and how there's a controversy right now about whether wobbling should be allowed.
SPEAKER_1: Oh God, and also how Leffen is the worst.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, yeah, Leffen's always been the worst.
SPEAKER_1: That's not hard to understand.
SPEAKER_1: Leffen just sucks.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, it's, yeah, but this is the sort of thing that you get in the Smash Bros.
SPEAKER_2: scene that you don't necessarily get in other like Esports scenes that I've seen.
SPEAKER_2: You don't get this level of like, like there are two documentaries on the Smash Bros.
SPEAKER_2: scene.
SPEAKER_1: Wait, there are two?
SPEAKER_1: I've only seen one.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, there was the original doc and I think that they made recently, there was a second one made that was more focused on the gods.
SPEAKER_2: Cause like the first one's more focused on the history with like Ken and like Isaiah, don't get hit.
SPEAKER_1: Just don't get hit.
SPEAKER_2: Just don't get hit.
SPEAKER_2: None of these words mean anything to no one.
SPEAKER_2: You're like, anyway.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, the rule of Smash is just don't get hit.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: That's how you win.
SPEAKER_2: That is how you win.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Isaiah was right.
SPEAKER_1: Isaiah was right.
SPEAKER_2: And so what I'm craving is, cause I'm not super into the Smash Bros.
SPEAKER_2: scene anymore.
SPEAKER_2: So I'm craving new like competitive video game lore.
SPEAKER_2: I'm craving new e-sports lore.
SPEAKER_1: Definitely same.
SPEAKER_1: I've thought about this a lot recently.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: I did not realize that Smash was like the only scene in e-sports that had this.
SPEAKER_1: I thought everything had this.
SPEAKER_1: I like, I don't know, StarCraft 3 is not the game.
SPEAKER_2: StarCraft 2, I think.
SPEAKER_1: I thought every e-sports thing had its own sort of thing.
SPEAKER_1: I was only into the Smash one in high school and early university, because I had time to be into it.
SPEAKER_2: There are famous players of certain games and controversies and drama, but no one really does it to the extent that Smash Brothers Melee scene does it.
SPEAKER_1: The other Smash games don't even do it to the same extent.
SPEAKER_1: I think one thing for me is every year, Melee gets older, of course.
SPEAKER_1: Every year, I get less and less interested in watching like Melee competitions because I mean, we have Smash Ultimate now.
SPEAKER_1: All I wanna watch is Inkling kick the shit out of, what is the dog villager, or Isabel?
SPEAKER_1: Isabel.
SPEAKER_2: Isabel?
SPEAKER_2: Her hair is Isabel.
SPEAKER_1: I just wanna watch Inkling kick the shit out of Isabel.
SPEAKER_2: I wanna watch Isabel kick the shit out of Inkling.
SPEAKER_1: Okay.
SPEAKER_2: This is just us being us about our maids.
SPEAKER_2: Anyway, so my question is, one of the things about Melee that it has going for it is that it is such an old game, and therefore has had time to develop a scene, and also it has a little bit of nostalgia and stuff.
SPEAKER_2: And so what old game are we bringing back so that we can establish some e-sports competitive lore?
SPEAKER_1: See, this is hard.
SPEAKER_1: It has to, wait.
SPEAKER_2: It has to be some sort of game with like a competitive aspect at the forefront, right?
SPEAKER_2: Like, oh, do you have an idea?
SPEAKER_1: It's like real bad, but can you just imagine like Pokemon Stadium, the original Pokemon Stadium?
SPEAKER_1: But they just like dub over the announcer, and it's like, oh my God, they used a flamethrower.
SPEAKER_1: It's not even intense too.
SPEAKER_2: It's not.
SPEAKER_1: So they have to, that's another thing about like, if you ever watch competitive Smash, but there's no commentator, it's about 10 times less interesting because that's how you get into it.
SPEAKER_1: What they're starting is they'll comment on it.
SPEAKER_1: They'll say the words and you will eventually understand it by context claims.
SPEAKER_1: But if they didn't have it, you'd just be watching these really fast games.
SPEAKER_1: These, maybe at the very height of the moments, like last stock, like everyone has one stock and it's like you're at high damage.
SPEAKER_1: Like maybe those would still be intense moments, but if you don't have those commentators, like they get so intense at those moments and I've definitely felt my energy go up, like aging on those moments.
SPEAKER_1: And it's all about the commentators.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, like one of the best examples of this, I think, and maybe I'll link this in the description or something.
SPEAKER_2: It's like a minute long because it is, the player acts like four stocking SilentWolf in less than a minute, which is so like on its own, it is funny, but the commentators make it so intense in terms of like, is he gonna do it in under a minute?
SPEAKER_2: Is he gonna do it in under a minute?
SPEAKER_2: And it's very funny, but it's also like, you're just like wanting him to four stock this other player in less than a minute.
SPEAKER_2: And stuff like that is what commentators really are good for.
SPEAKER_2: So I think Pokemon Stadium you could do that with.
SPEAKER_1: Maybe, what if there was a game that's a little more movement heavy, a little more heavy.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I think so.
SPEAKER_2: I think like-
SPEAKER_1: Competitive Wii Fit.
SPEAKER_2: Competitive Wii Fit would be excellent.
SPEAKER_2: I don't know how you would do that competitively.
SPEAKER_1: You each have a balance board and the first one to like move a millimeter loses.
SPEAKER_1: And we'll call them the Zen Gods when there's like immediately like the best ones, the ones that just become like stone.
SPEAKER_2: I like that.
SPEAKER_2: We could just go do some Olympic stuff and have Wii Sports Resort, like competitions for all of these different like games within Wii Sports Resort.
SPEAKER_1: So you specialize like, oh, this is the last year's shot put champion.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, or like, hi, I'm the sword fighting champion versus like the biking champion.
SPEAKER_1: Do we just have like eSports Olympics?
SPEAKER_2: The eOlympics.
SPEAKER_1: The eOlympics.
SPEAKER_2: This is actually way more fun.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, what is in the eOlympics?
SPEAKER_2: We need the list.
SPEAKER_2: So Wii Sports Resort, all of those games can be different Olympic sports.
SPEAKER_1: Mario and Sonic at the Olympics, obviously.
SPEAKER_2: I think Melee gets a spot in the Olympics.
SPEAKER_1: I'm really glad that Melee is now in the Olympics.
SPEAKER_2: Melee in the Olympics.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, you gotta have the classics, Tekken, Street Fighter.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, Tekken, Street Fighter, Mario Kart.
SPEAKER_2: That one's fun.
SPEAKER_2: And in general, I think those, a lot of Nintendo games are fun because you've gotta come up with an Olympic ruleset.
SPEAKER_2: Does your Olympic Mario Kart have items?
SPEAKER_1: No.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, no, it has to.
SPEAKER_1: It's only blue shells.
SPEAKER_2: It's only, oh, that's nasty.
SPEAKER_1: And it's 1v1 only.
SPEAKER_2: Lord, hell.
SPEAKER_2: That's hell is what you're describing.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: You can have like Pokemon in there.
SPEAKER_1: Sure.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, I don't even know what Pokemon game you go for.
SPEAKER_1: Pokken.
SPEAKER_1: You don't have Tekken, actually.
SPEAKER_1: You just have Pokken.
SPEAKER_2: I love that.
SPEAKER_2: We're really going Nintendo heavy.
SPEAKER_2: Let's think about things that literally anyone else has done.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, competitive Indie, the Indie Olympics.
SPEAKER_2: The Indie Olympics.
SPEAKER_2: We've already created a second version.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, maybe you just have an Indie slot and you have whatever Indie game would be good for that slot.
SPEAKER_1: It changes every year.
SPEAKER_1: I think the Indie Olympics is like a rotational Olympics.
SPEAKER_2: I think it is, I think it is.
SPEAKER_1: And I think the best Indie Olympians, they are the most versatile gamers.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, you probably don't give them that much time to practice, because you have to decide what's the Indie Olympic game this year.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I think you get a week to practice.
SPEAKER_1: And so this is like, if you want to be an Indie God, you have to like be into the Indie scene.
SPEAKER_2: You really do.
SPEAKER_1: You have to be good at every game.
SPEAKER_2: You do, you have to be good at every game.
SPEAKER_2: Hey, you know what has a surprisingly like intense, not competitive scene?
SPEAKER_2: Oh, let me put my idea on the back burner because tell me about competitive Stardew.
SPEAKER_1: All right, so you have one year to make as much money as possible.
SPEAKER_2: This is awesome because it's like, that's a long amount of time in game.
SPEAKER_2: That's like a marathon type like event because you're just playing Stardew and you have a year.
SPEAKER_1: It's a battle of stamina and like one wrong move.
SPEAKER_2: And also I think the other important detail is like, there's no pausing.
SPEAKER_2: Like it's that.
SPEAKER_1: If you pause like somehow.
SPEAKER_2: You can't stop time.
SPEAKER_1: Exactly.
SPEAKER_2: You cannot stop time.
SPEAKER_1: You cannot stop time.
SPEAKER_2: It's just common, you know?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: I would also like to suggest civilization.
SPEAKER_2: Watching people play Civ multiplayer is just like, it's a lot.
SPEAKER_1: Is it fun?
SPEAKER_2: It's weird.
SPEAKER_2: It's really weird.
SPEAKER_2: It's like one of those Olympic sports that shouldn't be in there but is.
SPEAKER_1: Can you imagine the commentators like, Oh my God, Canada just dropped the bomb.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, like that's it.
SPEAKER_2: We have someone taking, oh, he's taking a risk.
SPEAKER_1: Indian just destroyed Rome.
SPEAKER_2: Like, yeah, like this is it.
SPEAKER_2: This is it.
SPEAKER_1: That piece of art is so beautiful.
SPEAKER_1: That's so much culture.
SPEAKER_1: I know nothing about Civ except my osmosis.
SPEAKER_2: You are right.
SPEAKER_2: Those are Civ mechanics.
SPEAKER_2: It's just Sonic.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Winter Games.
SPEAKER_2: They're there.
SPEAKER_2: Cause Sonic doesn't have any competitive games.
SPEAKER_1: I think you have to win a game of Mario and Sonic at the Olympics in order to qualify for the Olympics.
SPEAKER_1: It's just the base level.
SPEAKER_2: It's the base level.
SPEAKER_2: Can you win Mario and Sonic at the Winter Games?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: If you can't do that, you don't even deserve a spot.
SPEAKER_2: You don't even deserve a spot.
SPEAKER_2: You know what's been taking up a lot?
SPEAKER_2: The Tetris.
SPEAKER_1: Tetris 99.
SPEAKER_2: Tetris 99, Battle Royale.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, Battle Royale's gotta be like, there's gotta be some Battle Royale.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, that's just what the Olympics is.
SPEAKER_2: The Olympics is a Battle Royale.
SPEAKER_2: Does that mean we have to have Fortnite in the Olympics?
SPEAKER_1: No, we'll have Apex Legends.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, cool.
SPEAKER_2: Apex Legends is in the Olympics.
SPEAKER_1: Great.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, no, no.
SPEAKER_2: I was about to say, does Overwatch get a spot, but they've already got their whole sports thing going on.
SPEAKER_2: Overwatch is a weird thing that they've literally modeled their esports league after a sports league.
SPEAKER_2: Like really, like they have like, you know, the Vancouver Titans, like that is an actual team.
SPEAKER_2: The Dallas, oh, I don't remember.
SPEAKER_1: Also Titans.
SPEAKER_1: The weird thing about Overwatch teams is they're all called the Titans.
SPEAKER_2: They're all called the Titans, but they're like, they represent different cities.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: And like, It's the clash of the Titans.
SPEAKER_2: It's the clash of the, fuck you.
SPEAKER_2: You nailed it, you nailed it, you nailed it.
SPEAKER_2: Overwatch already has their whole professional thing going on.
SPEAKER_2: You know, it's like how we don't let hockey players in the Olympics.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_2: I think that's a pretty good lineup for the Olympics.
SPEAKER_2: Would you like to give me a Craven?
SPEAKER_1: I guess so.
SPEAKER_1: I guess that's part of the podcast.
SPEAKER_2: I guess that it is, is the thing.
SPEAKER_1: So I just want to read you what I have written down for this one.
SPEAKER_1: But first I'm going to intro it a little bit.
SPEAKER_1: Do you know how in summer, one of the best liminal spaces to be in is at a playground at midnight?
SPEAKER_2: Yes, I know exactly what you mean.
SPEAKER_1: Great, so what I have written down is going to a playground at midnight when kids are all gone.
SPEAKER_1: And then what I want us to do is invent our dream playground with the restriction that kids have to be able to use it during the day and young adults, and I guess adults get to use it at night.
SPEAKER_2: Oh my God.
SPEAKER_1: What is on this playground?
SPEAKER_2: I mean, everyone loves a slide.
SPEAKER_1: We gotta have a slide.
SPEAKER_1: How many slides across is it?
SPEAKER_1: Cause you know you can have those double side by side slides.
SPEAKER_2: True.
SPEAKER_1: Or triple side by side slides.
SPEAKER_2: I like triple side by side slides.
SPEAKER_1: Yes.
SPEAKER_2: That's the new tongue twister.
SPEAKER_2: I like that having three row and then you can all just like, I don't know.
SPEAKER_1: You race, you hold hands down it.
SPEAKER_2: You race, you hold hands.
SPEAKER_2: Person's got two hands, two sides.
SPEAKER_1: Can we reinvent the slide so that people who weigh more than 10 pounds, God forbid, don't get stuck?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, like it's gotta be a bigger, you know, it's gonna be bigger.
SPEAKER_2: I think it's slipperier.
SPEAKER_2: Slipperier and also like, you know, metal can be good.
SPEAKER_1: Can we not use that hard plastic that's like real bad and has too much friction?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I mean, I'm down with like metal.
SPEAKER_1: What if we just coat it in like a goo?
SPEAKER_2: Kids do have to be able to use this and I don't trust kids around goo.
SPEAKER_1: True.
SPEAKER_2: I really don't.
SPEAKER_1: I kind of want like a rock climbing wall as well.
SPEAKER_1: I think that could be real fun.
SPEAKER_1: And I think at the top of it, I think it's like thick.
SPEAKER_1: I think there's like a big cube and you can climb it from any side.
SPEAKER_1: And at the top, there's like another thing and you can just hang out on there.
SPEAKER_1: You can just hang out at the top of it.
SPEAKER_2: Is there any other way to get up there?
SPEAKER_1: I think there's a set of stairs if you're not feeling like rock climbing.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_2: On one side of the cube.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: The rock cube.
SPEAKER_1: The rock cube.
SPEAKER_2: I like that.
SPEAKER_2: I like that a lot.
SPEAKER_2: That's a good hangout spot.
SPEAKER_2: And makes kids feel, you know, cool being up high.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, being up high is the coolest thing as a kid.
SPEAKER_2: It is the coolest thing.
SPEAKER_1: And as an adult.
SPEAKER_2: And as an adult.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: I also want a tire swing, but I want specifically one of those tire swings that have the three chains that attach to the thing so it doesn't wrap around itself.
SPEAKER_1: And then you have to go back the other way eventually.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: I like that.
SPEAKER_2: That's cool.
SPEAKER_1: Also it's safer for children.
SPEAKER_2: It is safer for children.
SPEAKER_2: And that's the point here is we want children to be safe and also for it to be useful for adults.
SPEAKER_1: I guess just as a disclaimer, there's mats around the rock wall.
SPEAKER_1: So when children eventually fall.
SPEAKER_2: Cause children will fall a lot.
SPEAKER_1: Children will definitely fall.
SPEAKER_2: I think that that's a good call.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: I think generally we're talking about safety here.
SPEAKER_2: Like wood chips.
SPEAKER_2: Whose idea was that?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, that was a bad idea.
SPEAKER_2: Whose idea was it to have wood chips on the bottom of playgrounds?
SPEAKER_2: Like, yes, I'm going to build this thing for children.
SPEAKER_2: Do you know what is great for children to fall on when they inevitably fall?
SPEAKER_2: Wood chips.
SPEAKER_1: I think whoever decided to put wood chips down was like, hmm, I wonder how many splinters children can contain.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: I think another thing about child safety is we can't have trampolines cause trampolines are a disaster waiting to happen.
SPEAKER_1: But what if we have like those, a trampoline, like in those trampoline gyms where the floor is just a trampoline and there's no open edges?
SPEAKER_2: I like that.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I like that.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: I like the idea of the trampoline floor.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, that would be, that would be good.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, I got it.
SPEAKER_1: No wood chips, only trampoline floor.
SPEAKER_1: Trampoline floor!
SPEAKER_2: Now we're talking.
SPEAKER_2: Okay.
SPEAKER_2: Well, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_2: Well, okay.
SPEAKER_2: Well, not to be the child safety advocate, but we are building-
SPEAKER_2: Not to advocate for children's safety or anything.
SPEAKER_2: Not to be a buzzkill and advocate for child safety.
SPEAKER_2: Ugh.
SPEAKER_2: These damn SJWs.
SPEAKER_2: Tell them they're children.
SPEAKER_2: But we are building large, like metal structures.
SPEAKER_2: And I am not sold on children on trampolines, having the chance to, like as someone who injured herself on a trampoline as a child.
SPEAKER_2: Now, mind you, that was from falling outside of the trampoline onto my arm.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, well nets, the only trampolines I ever jumped on had nets.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, okay, cool.
SPEAKER_1: They were cool, because you could just jump into the net and you were fine.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I never had nets on any trampoline that I ever jumped on as a child.
SPEAKER_2: Let me tell you.
SPEAKER_1: It's not great.
SPEAKER_2: It's not great, it is pretty dangerous.
SPEAKER_2: I did sprain my arm pretty severely.
SPEAKER_2: So I think nets are a good idea.
SPEAKER_2: I think nets in general, because then you have a large variety of things you can do, right?
SPEAKER_2: Like you can get monkey bars if you have nets underneath.
SPEAKER_2: Do some circus stuff, because you've got a net underneath and so it's fine.
SPEAKER_1: I know what I want.
SPEAKER_2: What?
SPEAKER_1: You know those slidey things where you grab with your arms and then you go from one side to the other, you kick off and you just hold it and it slides?
SPEAKER_1: You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_2: No, I have no clue what you're saying.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know what the name for it is, but it's like Mission Impossible when you like go from one building to the other and you're holding on to the spy equipment and you're sliding it down on the net.
SPEAKER_1: Is that what it's called?
SPEAKER_1: But it's like it's flat and it has no angle to it and you have to kick off of it.
SPEAKER_1: I never, it was never in playgrounds when we were kids, but when you go to playgrounds now, almost all of them have them.
SPEAKER_2: I don't know if I've seen this, but I trust that it exists.
SPEAKER_1: There's also like those wheels that are at a slant and so you can like grab the wheel standing on the platform and then if you raise your feet up, you fall because it's slanted and you just have two kids going back and forth, but you're gonna have two adults.
SPEAKER_2: Also, you know, at a certain point, I think a lot of these are gonna be good for like exercise for adults and young adults and that's not the intended purpose necessarily for fun, but that's also just a nice benefit.
SPEAKER_2: And that makes me think-
SPEAKER_1: It's all fun and games until someone breaks a sweat.
SPEAKER_2: That makes me think, is there any gym equipment that is fun and appropriate for children?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, heavy 200 pound weights?
SPEAKER_2: No.
SPEAKER_2: I mean-
SPEAKER_1: They're 200 foam pounds.
SPEAKER_2: What are foam pounds?
SPEAKER_2: What are foam pounds, Clair?
SPEAKER_2: Define a foam pound.
SPEAKER_1: Well, it's a pound, but it's made of foam.
SPEAKER_2: So it's still a pound.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, but it's a foam pound.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, but is it a kilogram of steel or a kilogram of feathers?
SPEAKER_2: Okay, I'm gonna veto that one.
SPEAKER_2: That's my veto.
SPEAKER_2: That's my veto on that one.
SPEAKER_1: Fair, it's a little big.
SPEAKER_2: It's a little big.
SPEAKER_2: Treadmills I also don't trust with children.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, but what if just moving platforms, like you know at airports where you have the skywalks?
SPEAKER_2: Okay, now I'm into it.
SPEAKER_1: But it's just like the perimeter moves around.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, that's really cool.
SPEAKER_2: You can use that as a treadmill.
SPEAKER_1: Or you can as any child would try and run against it as fast as possible to get to your starting point.
SPEAKER_2: That's a treadmill.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, but now it's a game.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, now it's a game.
SPEAKER_2: We're tricking the children into using treadmills.
SPEAKER_2: Ha ha, got them.
SPEAKER_1: Or you go the other way.
SPEAKER_2: That thing then has to be powered like all the time.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, 24 hours.
SPEAKER_1: 24 hours.
SPEAKER_1: Because it has to be on at midnight as well.
SPEAKER_1: I think it's slower just because adults, I mean, we don't want to run as fast.
SPEAKER_2: We really don't, really don't.
SPEAKER_2: Plus it saves power, that's our excuse.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, it could just be like solar power.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, heck yeah.
SPEAKER_2: It's solar power.
SPEAKER_1: This whole playground is solar powered.
SPEAKER_2: It's true, the whole playground is solar powered, and also we make it so the solar panels are not anywhere that children can ever be near.
SPEAKER_1: What else would you add to this playground?
SPEAKER_1: We got a slide, we got a rock wall, we got a big treadmill.
SPEAKER_2: We got the tire swing.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, swings.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, like it's swings, but like you know how there was always...
SPEAKER_2: Okay, yes.
SPEAKER_1: Cause there's never enough swings.
SPEAKER_2: Never enough swings.
SPEAKER_2: And the other thing about swings was always that everyone was obsessed with getting overtop of the swing and swinging faster to do that.
SPEAKER_2: Do we allow that as an option?
SPEAKER_2: Is it possible to do that?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: I think we put in protocols, like safety protocols even, like if you're above a certain thing, like it straps you in, like the chain harness so you're not gonna hit your head.
SPEAKER_1: You're going around now.
SPEAKER_1: You wanted this.
SPEAKER_1: Here it is.
SPEAKER_2: And a robot voice goes, sick protocol activated.
SPEAKER_2: Boosters launching.
SPEAKER_2: God, that's so cool.
SPEAKER_2: This would be the coolest shit as a kid.
SPEAKER_2: Can you imagine?
SPEAKER_2: Cause everyone's whole thing would be like, get me to the boost level, get me to the boost level.
SPEAKER_2: Boost me higher, boost me higher.
SPEAKER_1: Boost me higher.
SPEAKER_2: It's also great because you know how like children want like their parents or their friends to push them on the swing set.
SPEAKER_2: We got a robot to do it for you.
SPEAKER_2: You don't have to connect with your child.
SPEAKER_2: Don't worry.
SPEAKER_1: Just go play on your phone on the bench.
SPEAKER_1: The swing will do the job for you.
SPEAKER_2: Exactly, exactly.
SPEAKER_2: I think lookout points for parents is a really good idea.
SPEAKER_1: It's almost like a pirate ship.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: Where you have your parent lookout point.
SPEAKER_2: God, you know how there are lifeguards at pools, but not at playgrounds?
SPEAKER_1: That's a good point.
SPEAKER_2: Like people get hurt on playgrounds all the time.
SPEAKER_2: I've never been hurt in a pool.
SPEAKER_2: It's not true.
SPEAKER_2: I'm lying.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, parents are sort of lifeguards.
SPEAKER_2: So yeah, you have your lifeguard zone for parents to come to.
SPEAKER_2: And it's gotta be easy to get up there because these are parents and they do not want to be climbing up.
SPEAKER_1: It's a really quick elevator so that you can get back down when your child inevitably does fall.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, no, I got it.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, no, I know what you're gonna say.
SPEAKER_1: There's like a fire pole that you can slide down.
SPEAKER_2: Actually, that was so much better than what I thought you were gonna say.
SPEAKER_1: What did you think?
SPEAKER_2: I thought you were gonna get back on the trampoline kid.
SPEAKER_1: That's a good idea because my other idea was what if you just had tiny parachutes in the adult area that you could just like grab and jump off and now there's a trampoline at the bottom.
SPEAKER_2: Parents are too tired to learn how to operate a parachute.
SPEAKER_2: I'm not putting that responsibility on them, but I do like the idea of the fire pole.
SPEAKER_1: I do like that too.
SPEAKER_1: And there is a trampoline at the bottom.
SPEAKER_2: I think it also with the fire pole, it also does do like an alarm that you would get at a fire station, except it says child injured, child injured.
SPEAKER_2: And every parent who's out there has to be like, fuck, is it my kid?
SPEAKER_1: I think you put a little tracker on your child and if your child starts crying, your phone starts beeping, Daisy, it's your child this time.
SPEAKER_1: Get the parachute, slide down the pole.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, that's great because we're still designing the playground.
SPEAKER_2: What you're implying here is that the tracker is like something you put on the child as you come to the playground.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: You make it look cute so the child doesn't want to like take it off or whatever.
SPEAKER_1: It's like a little flower, you put it in the hair.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_1: Which is great because at midnight, because this is another requirement, the elevator is still in use and you can just jump off adult zone whenever you want.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, okay, fair enough, fair enough.
SPEAKER_2: Is there anything else that goes in this playground?
SPEAKER_1: Wood chip bin.
SPEAKER_1: It's just, you don't use it.
SPEAKER_1: There's just a wood chip bin in the corner.
SPEAKER_2: It's like a memento.
SPEAKER_1: It's a memento to the past.
SPEAKER_2: It belongs in a museum.
SPEAKER_1: This was our history.
SPEAKER_1: And this is what we have to remember.
SPEAKER_1: This is where these great designs have led us.
SPEAKER_2: I would also like to say hamster ball, but you can't move around in it.
SPEAKER_2: Well, children can't, but if you're...
SPEAKER_2: It has child locks to run it from moving around, like the rest of the thing and bumping into people.
SPEAKER_1: So it's just a hamster wheel.
SPEAKER_2: But it isn't a ball.
SPEAKER_2: It's a hamster ball.
SPEAKER_2: It's like a hamster wheel, right?
SPEAKER_2: In that it's connected to somewhere when the children are playing on it.
SPEAKER_2: So the children can't have a hamster ball going around.
SPEAKER_2: But if an adult gets it at midnight, it's a whole other game.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, there are locks that children can't do, but the adults can.
SPEAKER_2: And so they can go around and do whatever they want.
SPEAKER_1: I'm really excited to go play on this playground.
SPEAKER_2: So am I.
SPEAKER_2: It's gonna be a really good time.
SPEAKER_1: While we're playing on this playground, do you wanna give me a crave?
SPEAKER_2: I would love to give you a crave.
SPEAKER_2: So, I, as is, I think already clear from this podcast, am a huge fan of genres.
SPEAKER_2: I'm really into-
SPEAKER_1: I like things that are categorizable.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I mean, what I should say specifically is genre fiction and genre storytelling.
SPEAKER_2: Cause there's specific stuff that is not genre fiction that exists.
SPEAKER_2: And I'm really into messing with genre.
SPEAKER_2: I really like always have a craving to like take a genre and just like, just mess with it and like look at the tropes of the genre and be like, actually, we're doing something different and also combining genres together.
SPEAKER_2: So, Clair, let's take two genres.
SPEAKER_2: Let's combine them together and let's figure out what the story is that combines those two genres.
SPEAKER_1: I know, yeah, I know.
SPEAKER_1: Romance, murder mystery.
SPEAKER_2: All right, I'm into that.
SPEAKER_2: Is this like, is this like a noir type or a detective novel or is this a murder mystery?
SPEAKER_1: Well, I think we're gonna have to get into that because I do think, what if two people show up at the crime scene and fall in love?
SPEAKER_2: This has definitely been done in detective like novels and stories.
SPEAKER_2: But I like where you're going with it.
SPEAKER_1: Now I'm just thinking about the fact that like, it's like, who's gonna solve the crime first, but they're like fascinated by how good the other one is.
SPEAKER_2: I have, I have definitely heard this story.
SPEAKER_2: I think these are two genres that have been combined before, but I'm into...
SPEAKER_1: Give me two genres that haven't been combined before.
SPEAKER_2: My point is I think that that is a pretty standard, like part of noir fiction.
SPEAKER_2: My other detail is that I just want to combine another genre with it.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, okay, all right.
SPEAKER_2: And my other genre...
SPEAKER_1: Giant Mac, Giant Mac Robot.
SPEAKER_2: All right, we're there, we're there.
SPEAKER_2: I like, God, okay, so, okay, so it's Giant Mac.
SPEAKER_1: I think a Giant Mac got murdered.
SPEAKER_2: A Giant Mac got murdered.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, and the pilot of the Giant Mac is trying to solve the murder.
SPEAKER_2: Yes.
SPEAKER_1: And is it like, God, what is that Giant Mac movie where there's two pilots?
SPEAKER_2: Pacific Rim?
SPEAKER_1: Yes, that one, thank you.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_1: I think it's both of them.
SPEAKER_2: It's both of them.
SPEAKER_1: Trying to solve the murder of their Mac.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, and the best fit in, that's how they're falling in love.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, shit, and like they didn't, okay.
SPEAKER_1: So it was the first day of assignment and like they've just graduated.
SPEAKER_1: It's the first Mac ever made and they walk in to like, oh, they hated each other in Mac school, Mac school.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, Mac school, Mac school.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, and they walk in first day on the job and it's been murder.
SPEAKER_2: And they're superior.
SPEAKER_1: Oh no, actually, it's the second day.
SPEAKER_1: They get one day on the field.
SPEAKER_1: And it's like, they have to work together.
SPEAKER_1: It doesn't go well because they don't work while they're together.
SPEAKER_1: And then it's murder.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, and I think the other important detail about that is like, there's a different sort of connection of like being in a Mac together and a different sort of connection of like being out of the Mac together.
SPEAKER_2: What does it mean to like, yeah, to have a relationship without the Mac?
SPEAKER_2: So it could even be several days in the job, right?
SPEAKER_1: I know, so when you are in the Mac together, this is probably just like Pacific Rim, but you can feel each other's feelings.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: And so those few days in the Mac together, they start to understand the anger that the other one feels, but without that Mac, they start to be unable to understand again.
SPEAKER_2: And so now they have to like, they have to deal with their shit without the help of the Mac.
SPEAKER_2: And they have to because a plot device, because a plot device of like their superior officers or whatever are like, if we don't find out who did this, the Mac project is being canceled.
SPEAKER_1: What if there's just an incoming attack from someone?
SPEAKER_2: There's an incoming attack.
SPEAKER_2: And so they have to figure it out and they can't, and they gotta be ready for the attacks because they need to be able to emotionally still be on the same page.
SPEAKER_1: There's a stolen piece and it is irreplaceable.
SPEAKER_2: It's irreplaceable, yeah.
SPEAKER_2: The Mac is murdered and the core has been stolen.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: And so they have to-
SPEAKER_1: And the core is like a fallen, I don't know, neutron star.
SPEAKER_1: It's sci-fi.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Something that is impossible for them to get another of.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_1: There's only one of them.
SPEAKER_2: Exactly.
SPEAKER_2: And so they have to go find-
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, they have to go find this core together.
SPEAKER_2: It's just them figuring out what is going on and also like-
SPEAKER_1: How do they work together?
SPEAKER_1: I think they fuck up after, like, they get mad at each other in school.
SPEAKER_1: We get a few shots of that.
SPEAKER_1: We get some shots of them, oh, finally working together.
SPEAKER_1: I think they're like confident.
SPEAKER_1: They're like, oh yeah, we can do this.
SPEAKER_1: Like, we've had our days together and they go out and they try.
SPEAKER_1: And the first day out, oh, they mess up.
SPEAKER_1: So they get in each other's way.
SPEAKER_1: They like can't coordinate.
SPEAKER_2: And the point is that they know how to work together.
SPEAKER_2: You know, they know how to work together.
SPEAKER_2: But they don't actually know each other, right?
SPEAKER_2: They have not, like, I think the whole thing is like, they were coworkers and they were very good at working together, but also they don't know like each other's, like if each other has any siblings because they don't have conversations and they don't actually connect.
SPEAKER_1: So how do we force them to have these conversations?
SPEAKER_1: What scene is it where, like, they're trapped?
SPEAKER_1: They have nothing else to do, absolutely nothing, and they have to talk.
SPEAKER_1: How do we get to that position?
SPEAKER_2: I mean, stakeouts are good for that?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, stakeouts are good.
SPEAKER_1: I want something else.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, so you want like, oh, I mean, go.
SPEAKER_1: What if?
SPEAKER_1: So there is aliens in this.
SPEAKER_1: Of course.
SPEAKER_1: The aliens have FTL engines.
SPEAKER_1: They have to stay.
SPEAKER_2: Which is faster than light engines.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, they have to spend a year together getting there.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, wait.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, wait, they have to spend a year together, like chasing these aliens?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, because you don't have FTL engines.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, and they have to learn to, oh, and this is great because then they're having to learn to live together.
SPEAKER_2: They're not just having to learn to like, they're, oh.
SPEAKER_1: They have to learn to live together.
SPEAKER_2: Mech pilots to roommates to lovers.
SPEAKER_2: This is so good.
SPEAKER_2: And it's like, yeah.
SPEAKER_2: And this is.
SPEAKER_1: And all the while, like the murder mystery part of it is like, they're getting clues.
SPEAKER_2: They're getting info like in, yeah, on their sensors and they're having to make do with like, oh, and they gotta have like people back at home who they're like, you need to research this.
SPEAKER_2: You need to research this.
SPEAKER_1: Also, they do have engines that are pretty fast, but just not fast enough.
SPEAKER_1: So they go to one planet and it's like, oh, we have to find the clues.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, they were just here.
SPEAKER_1: We have to leave right now.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_2: All the classic murder mystery stuff.
SPEAKER_2: They gotta look for clues.
SPEAKER_2: And yeah, because this is a whole mix of genres.
SPEAKER_1: Of course.
SPEAKER_2: This is so many genres that we've made.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, this is excellent.
SPEAKER_1: Which means we have to do all the tropes.
SPEAKER_2: We have to do all the tropes.
SPEAKER_2: Oh yeah, they gotta have like, we already have so many tropes.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, one of the planets that they go to, there's a whole race and there's like a bomb that's gonna blow up the planet.
SPEAKER_1: They have to decide like, oh, we can leave right now and catch the murderer of our mech or we stay and save this whole planet sort of thing.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, and like, there's gotta be a big emotional scene where they're like, I don't know how to choose, I don't know how to choose.
SPEAKER_2: And then like something reminds them why they were mech pilots in the first place.
SPEAKER_2: The people that they wanted to save along the way.
SPEAKER_1: And they of course choose the bomb.
SPEAKER_2: They of course choose to stop the bomb.
SPEAKER_1: I don't think, can you imagine a protagonist where it's like, no, let's go now, let's catch the bomb.
SPEAKER_2: Yes, I can't imagine that protagonist is that protagonist is named Otto.
SPEAKER_1: And yeah, that's Otto.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, that's Otto.
SPEAKER_2: But these are the good guys.
SPEAKER_2: The capital G, capital G, capital G, good capital G guys.
SPEAKER_2: Also, I think important, there's someone, like their superior officer is like betraying them, obviously.
SPEAKER_1: Love that trope.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, it's that whole trope.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, we're doing all the tropes.
SPEAKER_2: And so it's like, it's like the superior officer has been working with the aliens the whole time.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, they leaked it.
SPEAKER_1: And that's why the aliens know where they are.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, and they're working together because that dude wants that thing for himself.
SPEAKER_2: So he can make a different mech that like defeats the origin, that like, I don't know, some-
SPEAKER_1: Bigger mech.
SPEAKER_2: He wants to make a bigger mech that he's in control of to like take over the world.
SPEAKER_1: The project manager didn't make me a pilot.
SPEAKER_1: I'm upset.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_2: It's some justification like that.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, and like, of course they got to have the scene where like the part gets back to this dude with his mech and like gets installed in the mech and their whole thing is they don't have the mech available to them and they have to destroy this mech and get the core back.
SPEAKER_2: And then you just get like the ultimate, I guess, anime shit of just like-
SPEAKER_2: Them running up like-
SPEAKER_1: This is all anime, of course.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_2: That's another genre this is getting.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, anime is not an anime.
SPEAKER_1: Anime isn't a genre, right?
SPEAKER_2: Anime is not a genre.
SPEAKER_2: It is a style.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, animation in general is kind of a genre.
SPEAKER_2: It's complicated.
SPEAKER_2: It's usually viewed as genre.
SPEAKER_2: It's usually viewed as genre fiction, but-
SPEAKER_2: That's just because-
SPEAKER_1: You're right.
SPEAKER_2: It is usually viewed as that.
SPEAKER_2: People who define things, because people who define what genre fiction versus literary fiction is are the worst people.
SPEAKER_2: Anyway.
SPEAKER_2: The difference between genre fiction and literary fiction is genre fiction is interesting and like fun.
SPEAKER_2: And literary fiction is stuff that you are supposed to derive deeper meanings from and ask questions that can't be answered.
SPEAKER_1: We asked the viewer, do big robot good?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Do big robot good.
SPEAKER_2: What does big robot cut us off from?
SPEAKER_2: What does it mean to be human when giant robot-
SPEAKER_1: I just want it to be anime because you can't have the $10 million budget for that mech fight versus, I don't know, a $10,000 budget and it's better.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, like this is not live action.
SPEAKER_2: No, no, no, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_2: It's gotta be the anime.
SPEAKER_1: But what if we actually just send people into space?
SPEAKER_2: God, we already did that.
SPEAKER_2: It's called Letters to the Moon.
SPEAKER_2: It was in our first episode.
SPEAKER_2: What's this one called?
SPEAKER_2: Oh my God, The Mech Between Us.
SPEAKER_1: The Mech Between Us, God.
SPEAKER_2: I kind of like The Mech Between Us.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, Our Commanding Officer is a Dickwad.
SPEAKER_1: I like that title.
SPEAKER_2: Also that, also that.
SPEAKER_2: Our Commanding Officer is a Dickwad and is going to betray us.
SPEAKER_1: That's the title.
SPEAKER_1: That's a good title.
SPEAKER_2: Very good title.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, I believe we are receiving word from Clair out in the field.
SPEAKER_2: We're just gonna check in and see how things are going.
SPEAKER_2: Clair, what's the situation?
SPEAKER_2: Clair?
SPEAKER_2: Hey, someone able to, she's dead.
SPEAKER_2: Oh.
SPEAKER_2: All right, breaking news.
SPEAKER_2: Our reporter on the field has been killed.
SPEAKER_1: There's just a skeleton.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, there's just a skeleton left.
SPEAKER_2: The carnivorous caterpillars have eaten her.
SPEAKER_2: We send all our control nurses.
SPEAKER_1: First the news reporter, next the world.
SPEAKER_2: Wait, it seems we're getting a threat from the caterpillars.
SPEAKER_2: First the news reporter, then the world.
SPEAKER_2: Well, I don't think the caterpillars will be able to ah, hand over your leaves, or we will annihilate everything.
SPEAKER_2: That's it, I suppose, for the Salt Cravings News Network.
SPEAKER_2: While we get eaten by caterpillars, you may follow us on social media at Salt Cravings, on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
SPEAKER_2: Wonderful.
SPEAKER_2: You can send your submissions in to our new email address, whoa, submissions at saltcravings.com.
SPEAKER_2: Please submit your cravings.
SPEAKER_2: We would love to talk about them.
SPEAKER_2: And hey, give us a rating or a review on noted news network, you know, iTunes or Google Play, where all the news is.
SPEAKER_1: Like, comment, and subscribe.
SPEAKER_2: Like, comment, and subscribe.
SPEAKER_1: RT.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, nailed it.
SPEAKER_2: RB, reblog, what is it?
SPEAKER_1: I don't know.
SPEAKER_2: Shrugs.
SPEAKER_2: Rib, rib.
SPEAKER_2: Oh no, the caterpillars are taking over.