SPEAKER_2: Welcome back to Salt Cravings, a regular podcast where we have regular conversations about regular topics.
SPEAKER_2: My name is Regular Clair.
SPEAKER_1: And I'm Regular Brianna.
SPEAKER_2: Brianna, I'd like to ask you a question.
SPEAKER_1: As long as it's a regular question.
SPEAKER_2: How regular are you?
SPEAKER_1: I'm fairly regular right now.
SPEAKER_1: My feeling on everything is regular.
SPEAKER_1: How regular are you today, Clair?
SPEAKER_2: Well, I went this morning.
SPEAKER_1: I didn't want to make the poop joke.
SPEAKER_1: I figured we weren't going to go immediately into poop jokes on our podcast, but I should have known.
SPEAKER_1: I should have known that that's what people we are, what podcast this is.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Welcome to Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_1: A podcast about poop jokes.
SPEAKER_2: And cravings.
SPEAKER_2: For realsies.
SPEAKER_1: For realsies cravings, and not even regular cravings.
SPEAKER_2: Sometimes they're regular cravings.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: Sometimes they're cravings that come up with some regularity.
SPEAKER_1: Do you want me to give you a craving that comes up with some regularity?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, as long as it's the first time it's come up.
SPEAKER_1: So, I have a body.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know if that's...
SPEAKER_1: I don't think people who listen to the podcast are aware...
SPEAKER_2: We're not just in your ears.
SPEAKER_2: We actually just live in the tiny box in which you hold.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, there's no physical forms.
SPEAKER_2: We just worm our ways through the wires.
SPEAKER_2: And now we're inside your head.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, and that's something you have to live with now.
SPEAKER_1: Something we have to live with in here and in our physical forms in this zone is that we wear clothes.
SPEAKER_1: And the issue is, the issue with the mix of bodies and clothes is that bodies change size and clothes also change size, but they don't change size in the same way at the same time.
SPEAKER_2: That's true.
SPEAKER_1: Clothes will shrink, bodies will grow.
SPEAKER_1: It's a problem.
SPEAKER_1: It means that every so often you have to remake your wardrobe, which can be positive, but also means that like, oh damn, I guess I have to buy new leggings because all of my leggings are either too big or too small and they keep falling down or I can't get them on.
SPEAKER_1: And basically, Clair, I just want clothes that change sizes and just like stay fitting the body.
SPEAKER_1: And I need a way to solve this craving.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I'm really glad that you've asked me this because I have the perfect solution.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, do you?
SPEAKER_1: All right, fashion designer Clair.
SPEAKER_2: It is a fashion design thing and it is because it's the beautiful creation by Edna from The Incredibles for Elastic Girl.
SPEAKER_2: We're just gonna all wear Elastic Girl's suit now.
SPEAKER_1: God, you know, I think I could make that work.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: I think that'd be pretty sick.
SPEAKER_1: Is it just Elastic Girl's suit that changes size?
SPEAKER_1: Do the kids' suits change size?
SPEAKER_2: I'm sure they do, but Elastic Girl can be any shape.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Have you got eight feet long legs?
SPEAKER_2: That's fine.
SPEAKER_2: Elastic Girl's suit will fit you.
SPEAKER_1: It just feels like it's some sort of super spandex, you know?
SPEAKER_2: Ooh, super spandex.
SPEAKER_1: Super spandex.
SPEAKER_1: That's the new material that all clothing must be made out of.
SPEAKER_2: It's the new regulatory clothing material.
SPEAKER_2: So are there super spandex Speedos?
SPEAKER_1: Probably, but at what cost?
SPEAKER_2: I mean, at what cost are Speedos a thing?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, like, okay, wait, let's just like, who are Speedos for?
SPEAKER_1: Like, who is the intended audience of Speedos?
SPEAKER_2: Someone who wants to sunbathe with the absolute least amount of thing on their body, probably.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I mean, that makes sense, but it just feels like, like swim shorts exist for a reason, you know?
SPEAKER_2: But then you're not gonna tan your cheeks.
SPEAKER_1: I don't, like, why do you wanna tan your cheeks though?
SPEAKER_1: Who wants their butt to be tan?
SPEAKER_2: Oh, I couldn't give you a reason why someone wants to do that.
SPEAKER_2: I just, that's the reason.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, I guess it just feels like, it just feels like something that shouldn't be there.
SPEAKER_1: Speedos are filling a niche that I don't want to exist.
SPEAKER_2: Speedos are a product of evolution that shouldn't have happened.
SPEAKER_2: It's really cool, cause back in like caveman days, you had spears and speedos.
SPEAKER_2: That was actually the game, is you had to like rip each other's speedos off with only the tip of your sphere.
SPEAKER_1: That's how you get the distinction of shirts and skins.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, it's like capture the flag, but you just have to steal each other's speedos.
SPEAKER_1: I feel, okay, isn't that Turkish oil wrestling?
SPEAKER_1: Isn't that what that is?
SPEAKER_2: I don't know what that is.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, so from my understanding, Turkish oil wrestling is a sport wherein-
SPEAKER_2: You steal each other's speedos.
SPEAKER_1: You both get completely oiled up and wrestle and are trying to, I think it is like literally grab, it's either a flag from the other person's shorts or it may just be the other person's shorts.
SPEAKER_2: Both options are good.
SPEAKER_2: The second option is better.
SPEAKER_1: The second option is much better.
SPEAKER_1: And also like if that isn't Turkish oil wrestling, we're making it now.
SPEAKER_1: Or, you know, it's already been made because that's how speedos were developed.
SPEAKER_1: That's a really good solution.
SPEAKER_2: I'm glad that that is the oldest game that's existed for many thousands of years.
SPEAKER_2: And the best part-
SPEAKER_2: The best part about the capture the flag version is once you capture someone's speedo, they change teams to the skins team and then they have to just recruit everyone else.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, yeah, this makes sense.
SPEAKER_2: Another solution to your craving, don't wear clothes.
SPEAKER_1: Okay.
SPEAKER_2: What if instead of the clothes, we change not the clothes themselves, but all we do is change the entire culture and also control the weather.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, we don't really have to worry about the weather global warming's coming to help us out.
SPEAKER_1: Thanks, thanks, bud.
SPEAKER_2: It's weird how that ice age might affect our want to wear clothes.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, right.
SPEAKER_1: That's how climate change works.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: So we do need to control the weather, which really has the larger benefit of changing the climate intentionally, instead of unintentionally.
SPEAKER_2: We've already fucked it up.
SPEAKER_2: We might as well.
SPEAKER_1: Like, fuck it up for a purpose.
SPEAKER_1: Changing the culture to just be like very much, not even just pro nudity, but like nudity is the only option.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I mean, why, give me one good reason clothes should exist in a culture where it doesn't matter and the weather does not affect you.
SPEAKER_1: The thing is, I can't give you the-
SPEAKER_2: No, I can.
SPEAKER_1: What?
SPEAKER_2: Pockets.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, but we don't get pockets anyway.
SPEAKER_1: Listen, our clothes don't have pockets already.
SPEAKER_1: Why are we wearing clothes without pockets?
SPEAKER_2: Fuck, true.
SPEAKER_1: And also like pocket privilege, you know?
SPEAKER_1: Some people get to wear clothes that have pockets, and that's like-
SPEAKER_2: Every time I put jeans on, jeans have pockets.
SPEAKER_2: It is the only time I ever wanna wear jeans over a skirt, and so I can put some keys in a pocket.
SPEAKER_1: I have like one or two dresses that have pockets in them, and they're literally my favorite articles of clothing, because that's the only thing that I need.
SPEAKER_1: I am so envious and amazed at people who don't have to carry a bag around with them because they just have things in their pockets.
SPEAKER_2: They just pull a watermelon out of their pocket.
SPEAKER_1: And that's just like a thing that they get.
SPEAKER_1: It's just like, oh yeah, I'm wearing this type of clothing, and therefore I just have pockets everywhere.
SPEAKER_1: How do you get that privilege?
SPEAKER_1: How does this happen?
SPEAKER_1: I mean, I know how you get the privilege of the privileges by wearing mass clothing, but I'm mad about it.
SPEAKER_1: I'm mad about it, and the only equal solution is all nudity.
SPEAKER_1: You know how like in a lot of like authoritarian, scared dystopias of just like, they make it so that all people have to wear like the same clothes?
SPEAKER_1: That.
SPEAKER_2: It's always the gray bag.
SPEAKER_1: It's always the gray bag, but instead of that, it's nudity, you know?
SPEAKER_2: I mean, we could also, like just the best of both worlds, we could develop skin pockets like kangaroos.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, well I don't, hmm.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, well, yeah, hmm, so how would we do that?
SPEAKER_2: GMO human.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, that makes so much sense.
SPEAKER_2: Where are you gonna put your baby when you don't have your backpack?
SPEAKER_2: You just put them in your front backpack skin.
SPEAKER_1: Can I just say that the other day on public transit, I saw someone wearing a backpack that had a dog sticking out of it.
SPEAKER_1: On their back, and there's just a tiny little dog head going out of the backpack.
SPEAKER_1: I was just like, this is the ideal form of humanity.
SPEAKER_2: That's the inspiration for Banjo and Kazooie.
SPEAKER_1: God, it must be, it must be, absolutely.
SPEAKER_1: Also important in the thing of No More Clothes is no media gets to have characters with clothes.
SPEAKER_1: Because you want to teach people that-
SPEAKER_2: We can have the token clotheist.
SPEAKER_1: I guess, yeah, we can have clothed beaches.
SPEAKER_2: If you want to come and play in the sand, you better have a shirt on.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, literally.
SPEAKER_1: It's just like, oh, do you not like the nudity stuff?
SPEAKER_1: Fine, go to one of the clothed beaches.
SPEAKER_1: I think that that's a much better way to do things, right?
SPEAKER_1: Because it makes more sense to have nothing be required and have something be optional than to have something be required.
SPEAKER_2: We, it's opt-in is better than opt-out.
SPEAKER_1: Opt-in is better than opt-out.
SPEAKER_1: That applies to clothing too.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, obviously.
SPEAKER_1: If we do have to have clothes, which again, I don't want at all.
SPEAKER_1: I think like zip, zip-away jeans have gotten a bad rap.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, we can just put zippers on everything.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, zippers on things that help you expand those things or shrink those things.
SPEAKER_1: What?
SPEAKER_2: Zipper underwear, zipper socks.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, so just like to change the size of the underwear and socks or like for other purposes?
SPEAKER_2: Well, you can just zip them off.
SPEAKER_2: Well, you get your zip away pants and now they're off, but what are you going to do after that?
SPEAKER_2: Now you're going to struggle to take your underwear off?
SPEAKER_2: No, you just zip that right off.
SPEAKER_2: It's like, you know, when they test a car and it's like zero to a hundred and six seconds, the test for any good pair of clothing, any good outfit is fully closed to nude in under five seconds.
SPEAKER_1: How quick can you take off every piece of clothing on your body?
SPEAKER_1: It's the opposite of stripping.
SPEAKER_1: Now it's a speed round.
SPEAKER_1: This is the speed category of stripping.
SPEAKER_2: The speed runs stripping.
SPEAKER_1: Speed running stripping.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I think this is really the best idea we have.
SPEAKER_1: It's just like zippers or no clothing or zippers that help it be no clothing.
SPEAKER_1: Maybe there's just zippers that strategically, hey, okay, so what about zippers that unzip in certain ways to just have just like a very seductive nudity, right?
SPEAKER_1: Of just like you unzip to a certain degree.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, and then that zipper is done to reveal a second zipper.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_1: Zippers on zippers.
SPEAKER_2: Wow, so it's like, it's a new level of stripping where it's like, you can go as fast as you want, but there are like 20 zippers on this one piece of clothing.
SPEAKER_2: So it's still really slow.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, everyone can go super fast.
SPEAKER_1: I love this because it's everyone's just gonna look like they're in a parka all the time.
SPEAKER_1: And that is the ideal form of this because then it doesn't matter if things fit.
SPEAKER_1: Everyone just wear clothing that's too big for you.
SPEAKER_2: We just assigned them their big gray bag.
SPEAKER_1: Big gray bags, exactly.
SPEAKER_1: We assigned them their big gray bags and then no one has to worry about this ever again.
SPEAKER_2: Actually, it's not gray.
SPEAKER_2: At five years, you get to pick your favorite color and then that's your color bag.
SPEAKER_2: And then you never get to run away from five-year-old you ever again.
SPEAKER_1: What five-year-old you have chosen for your bag color?
SPEAKER_2: Green.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I think my five-year-old self would have chosen purple, which like I would still be on.
SPEAKER_2: I want, see, that makes me jealous because I would have chosen purple as an adult, but I would have been stuck with my green bag.
SPEAKER_1: And if you switch bags with someone else, how will they know?
SPEAKER_2: Unless you register everyone's color?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, this feels like a really overcomplicated way to do this because our goal here...
SPEAKER_2: No, see, in our dystopia, we could just give everyone a gray bag and not register, and that sounds much simpler.
SPEAKER_1: But then people will find other ways to accessorize, right?
SPEAKER_1: It's like school uniforms, which of course are a dystopia of their own.
SPEAKER_1: Like people find ways to make it their own and customize it, accessorize and stuff like that.
SPEAKER_2: I made my green bag into some earrings.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_2: I don't have any clothes anymore.
SPEAKER_1: How many bags do you get?
SPEAKER_1: Do you just get one?
SPEAKER_2: You just get the one.
SPEAKER_1: What happens on laundry day?
SPEAKER_2: You don't have to wash it.
SPEAKER_2: Nobody washes their bag.
SPEAKER_1: You're all evil.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, this is so gross.
SPEAKER_2: This is disgusting.
SPEAKER_2: And it stretches to fit you.
SPEAKER_2: It's the perfect solution.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, this is a good idea.
SPEAKER_2: These were all good ideas.
SPEAKER_1: All good ideas.
SPEAKER_1: I feel like my craving has been solved.
SPEAKER_1: Do you have a craving that needs solving with such good ideas as these?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, it's not so much a craving.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, well, you can't do it then.
SPEAKER_1: That's not what the show is, Clair.
SPEAKER_1: The show is about cravings.
SPEAKER_1: If it's not a craving, you can't talk about it on the show.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, let me just finish.
SPEAKER_1: All right.
SPEAKER_2: All right.
SPEAKER_1: And then we'll see.
SPEAKER_1: Then you'll see.
SPEAKER_2: So, Pokémon Sword and Shield got announced recently.
SPEAKER_2: And so, there are the three starters.
SPEAKER_2: There's Grookey, I almost said Incineroar, Scorbunny.
SPEAKER_1: Incinascorbunny.
SPEAKER_2: Incinascorbunny.
SPEAKER_2: And the anxious one.
SPEAKER_1: Sobble.
SPEAKER_2: Sobble, thank you.
SPEAKER_1: Sobble, my child.
SPEAKER_1: My child.
SPEAKER_1: Me, just holding Sobble in my hands.
SPEAKER_1: Baby.
SPEAKER_2: So, what's really interesting, and I heard this from my uncle at Nintendo, that if you go on the website, I fucking can't stand you.
SPEAKER_2: If you refresh the website exactly 150 times, it has to absolutely refresh 100%, and you have to refresh it in under an hour, 150 times.
SPEAKER_2: If you do that, it will just display the whole Pokédex.
SPEAKER_2: And now, I just wanna go over these Pokémon that we've seen on the official website.
SPEAKER_2: So, my question to you, what does your baby's sobble turn into?
SPEAKER_2: Like, just describe what you saw, because you already know for a fact what it is.
SPEAKER_1: So, okay, let me take a look and just see.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, so it looks like it got spikes somehow.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_2: It's no longer anxious, is it?
SPEAKER_1: No, it's really actually like violent.
SPEAKER_1: It's really vicious.
SPEAKER_2: It never actually saw to its anxieties and has continued a cycle of...
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, if you actually look really close, you can see that in the third evolution, its eyes turned bright red.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, it's weird because you can only see that at a certain angle.
SPEAKER_2: It's sort of like a holographic card where if you look just right, if you stare into its eyes, it will see into your soul.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, and the other detail about it that's important is it's now a water poison type, and you can tell that by the way that the water that was in its mouth is now poison.
SPEAKER_2: The eye is just drooling poison?
SPEAKER_1: It's drooling poison.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_1: And it's like smiling constantly, and it's really unnerving because it's a big like toothy smile with extremely sharp teeth.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, that is what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_1: It's really unsettling, and it's just so big.
SPEAKER_1: It's so big.
SPEAKER_1: It's like the size of a dinosaur.
SPEAKER_1: If you look really close, you can actually see the trainer for scale.
SPEAKER_2: It actually has the trainer in its stomach because it has just eaten its trainer.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it is.
SPEAKER_2: No more anxiety.
SPEAKER_2: You are the snack.
SPEAKER_1: That is what it appears to be.
SPEAKER_1: And I, you know, I don't know how I feel about it, but I am still excited to get it to that point, you know?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: What is, what's your one that you're gonna go for?
SPEAKER_2: I thought I would describe Scorebunny's final evolution.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, tell me about Scorebunny's final evolution, because like it's an interesting look.
SPEAKER_2: It moves away from fire, which is a really bold move on Game Freaks.
SPEAKER_1: That's a really, yeah.
SPEAKER_2: It actually turns into a metal type, and it is just called the Inheritance.
SPEAKER_2: And it is just all about money.
SPEAKER_2: It just has stacks and stacks of money.
SPEAKER_2: You know Scrooge McDuck?
SPEAKER_2: It kind of looks like Scrooge McDuck on many, many piles of money, but it is just a rabbit.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, that's really interesting.
SPEAKER_1: It's kind of like what if Bugs Bunny was Scrooge McDuck?
SPEAKER_2: It's great too, because they actually got the voice actor from Scrooge McDuck to voice all of the character moves.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, that's really interesting.
SPEAKER_1: I didn't, how'd you find that out?
SPEAKER_2: There's a button that if you click on it, it will scream at you.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, interesting.
SPEAKER_1: I didn't try out that button.
SPEAKER_1: Hey, can I try out that button for Sobble's Final Evolution real quick?
SPEAKER_2: No.
SPEAKER_1: Wow, that's a really intense one.
SPEAKER_1: Is it just a full on metal type?
SPEAKER_2: I think it's metal and green type.
SPEAKER_1: Sorry.
SPEAKER_1: Sorry, which one?
SPEAKER_2: Metal and green.
SPEAKER_1: Can you explain, does it show anywhere on the website about what green type is?
SPEAKER_2: I mean, you have to pay to find out.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: I like how it has earrings that are coins.
SPEAKER_2: When it does attack, it just turns into a bunch of coins and then shoots itself at you.
SPEAKER_2: It's like an anamorph, but with money.
SPEAKER_1: An anamorph, but with money.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, that does make sense.
SPEAKER_1: Terrifying, deeply terrifying.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I mean, that's the point.
SPEAKER_1: As terrifying as capitalists are, you know?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I mean, you have dinosaurs and capitalists.
SPEAKER_2: Do you want to describe for me Grookey's final evolution?
SPEAKER_1: I'd say we could do it together maybe.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, it's sort of a team effort.
SPEAKER_2: There's a lot to handle in this image that we are both looking at.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, the first thing to note is that, instead of getting bigger, they've shrunk him.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, it's really weird because the only thing that has grown is the little log in its head, and the rest of the body is smaller.
SPEAKER_2: It's really interesting because it is just a tree with a tiny little thing at the bottom of it.
SPEAKER_2: And if you look very closely, there is a magnifying glass on the website that you can use.
SPEAKER_2: It just looks like Grookey, but it's like maybe three pixels big.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, they didn't really change anything about Grookey, except like...
SPEAKER_2: They just made a tree.
SPEAKER_1: They just kind of made a tree, but the tree is interesting.
SPEAKER_1: The tree is really, I think, the interesting part of it, because it isn't...
SPEAKER_1: You know, it's not a normal tree, right?
SPEAKER_2: It's not just like a cedar tree or like, yeah.
SPEAKER_1: It is like a demon tree.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, it's a demon tree.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, which is really an interesting choice on Nintendo's part to just like demon trees in the game.
SPEAKER_2: It does sort of feel like they are just stealing Kirby's first boss.
SPEAKER_1: Well, it does have a huge face on it too.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, that's true.
SPEAKER_2: It does have a second face.
SPEAKER_1: But it's Nintendo, so I guess they can do that.
SPEAKER_2: That's true.
SPEAKER_2: It's not the first Pokémon with a second face.
SPEAKER_1: And also they can steal from Kirby if they want to.
SPEAKER_2: That's true.
SPEAKER_2: Game Freak can do whatever they want.
SPEAKER_2: It's interesting, because Sethoroth is also being added.
SPEAKER_2: And some.
SPEAKER_1: Well, you know what they've been saying, Pokémon is the new Smash, so.
SPEAKER_2: That's true.
SPEAKER_1: I'm having a bit of difficulty reading one of the types.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: Because they did keep grass type, and I appreciate that choice, but there's another type there.
SPEAKER_1: Are you able to read what this one says?
SPEAKER_2: Oh, I don't think anyone has been able to read that.
SPEAKER_2: That is Grookey's original ancestry of like demon.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, that does make sense.
SPEAKER_1: And the demon, you know, in the form of the tree.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, demon tree.
SPEAKER_1: Which is an interesting nod to Scottish folklore.
SPEAKER_1: Since it's kind of based on Britain, the whole region, I think that it's interesting that they made that kind of reference there.
SPEAKER_1: I think that the other thing is the leaves.
SPEAKER_1: Do you want to tell me about the leaves of this tree?
SPEAKER_1: Because they're kind of sharp.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, they're really sharp.
SPEAKER_2: They're just like razor blades.
SPEAKER_2: But not like individual razor blades.
SPEAKER_2: It's just like if you went to the store and bought a Gillette, and then it's just a bunch of Gillettes hanging off of these branches.
SPEAKER_1: Which is a weird form of product placement.
SPEAKER_2: It is, yeah.
SPEAKER_1: But I do appreciate the ability to take risks and try new things.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, it's really good though, because with inheritance and whatnot, you can buy all of...
SPEAKER_2: This is why inheritance is good against it, because you just buy all of its razors, and then it's left with no attack.
SPEAKER_2: And then you burn it.
SPEAKER_1: And it's good against Sabal, because it's just like you can't poison a tree, you know?
SPEAKER_2: That's true.
SPEAKER_2: No one has ever successfully poisoned a tree before.
SPEAKER_1: That's true.
SPEAKER_1: And also, I forgot to mention Sabal's final evolution names, that it's actually named Kill.
SPEAKER_2: I love Kill.
SPEAKER_1: In this world, it's Kill or Inheritance or...
SPEAKER_2: Tree.
SPEAKER_1: No, actually, it's just called Groot Tree.
SPEAKER_2: Groot Tree.
SPEAKER_1: There's a Pokémon mod for Minecraft that has items that allow you to summon legendaries.
SPEAKER_1: My favorite thing in Pixelmon mod for Minecraft is that in order to summon the birds of the Zapdos, Moltres, Articuno, you have to get specific orbs and then you have to fill it with souls.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, good.
SPEAKER_1: Of just by defeating Pokémon, that adds a soul to it, and you have to defeat 300 and then you can summon the legendary, which is so metal and also makes a lot of sense.
SPEAKER_2: It does kind of explain why on the website it says that you have to murder the opponent's Pokémon now and just collect their souls and then you will get Kill or Inheritance or Loot Tree.
SPEAKER_1: And this is why it's called Pokémon Sword and Shield.
SPEAKER_2: As we were saying on Twitter recently, the only item you have is a sword and you stab.
SPEAKER_1: Or shield, right?
SPEAKER_1: You have sword and you have shield.
SPEAKER_1: Of course, there's been lots of people speculating about whether gun, the secret third item will exist, but I think they're gonna leave that for like Pokémon Gun.
SPEAKER_2: It's the Elite Four.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, the Elite Four might just have guns.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: No Pokémon, just guns.
SPEAKER_2: Just guns.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: But they also might be leaving it for Pokémon Gun, the third version of the game.
SPEAKER_2: No, it's great, because I know this isn't technically a craving, but if it were a craving, and talking about these Pokémon that we have seen, it would definitely be solved.
SPEAKER_2: But I did already know-
SPEAKER_1: We've solved people's craving for this information without wanting to refresh the page 150 times, you know?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, that's true.
SPEAKER_1: You don't have to do it now.
SPEAKER_2: You can just trust my uncle and Nintendo.
SPEAKER_1: And this is good because here at Salt Cravings, we're not just about solving our own cravings.
SPEAKER_1: We're about solving other people's cravings.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: Which is why we have another craving to solve, and it's not mine or yours.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, wow.
SPEAKER_1: We have a fan craving.
SPEAKER_1: All right, this week's craving.
SPEAKER_1: Long time listener, first time submitter.
SPEAKER_1: Love y'all a lot.
SPEAKER_1: My craving is for some really good gay fanfic.
SPEAKER_1: My problem is, since I stopped watching super queer baby shows, I don't really have a pairing or a show to search fic for.
SPEAKER_1: I just want some good, good slow burn fiction that's gay as hell.
SPEAKER_1: Published fiction doesn't have this for me.
SPEAKER_1: They always have a thing called plot that gets in the way.
SPEAKER_1: Please help salty ladies love.
SPEAKER_1: Vesiferous for visibility in Vancouver.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, Vesiferous.
SPEAKER_1: That's a good word.
SPEAKER_2: Well, Vesiferous, let's see what we can do.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, let's see what we can do.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, like the actual answer is, like I know good fanfic for series that I'm into.
SPEAKER_2: It's like Shadowhunters or something.
SPEAKER_1: There's, I think that there's some good Shadowhunters fanfic out there.
SPEAKER_1: I really like a lot of the friends at table fanfic.
SPEAKER_1: It is like, it's a really small community, but a lot of the stuff is extremely high quality, which is really cool.
SPEAKER_1: So, you know, I will always recommend that.
SPEAKER_1: But what do we need to do to solve this craving though?
SPEAKER_1: What fanfiction needs to exist?
SPEAKER_2: I'd see the problem with that.
SPEAKER_2: I can give you good fiction and I can give you fanfiction.
SPEAKER_2: I don't think I could give you good fanfiction.
SPEAKER_2: I think that's a contradiction.
SPEAKER_1: I'm right fanfiction, you asshole.
SPEAKER_1: No, there is good fanfiction out there.
SPEAKER_1: It is difficult to find, but also so is good published fiction.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, the thing about fanfiction that I think our submitter is getting to is the fact that it is often a lot gayer than published fiction and a lot more deals with things in a different way.
SPEAKER_2: It's usually more interpersonal dynamics rather than, as they said, plot.
SPEAKER_1: There's fanfiction where plot matters, but most fanfiction, I don't think that the plot is the main point because otherwise you just publish that fiction.
SPEAKER_1: I think a lot of the good of fanfiction comes in the relationships.
SPEAKER_1: And so really any series that has good and interesting relationships in it, we can just make fanfic for.
SPEAKER_2: You were mentioning Friends of the Table, and I think that's an interesting idea because tabletop RPGs are just all action based, usually plot heavy, but you can just make it about the characters.
SPEAKER_1: You could make any tabletop RPG fanfiction.
SPEAKER_1: You could also write fanfiction about tabletop games that you're involved in.
SPEAKER_1: You and I are in a game of D&D that we do, and I would absolutely write fanfiction about those characters.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, that's a good idea.
SPEAKER_1: That'd be really fun, actually.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, let's make a fanfiction about Nia and Rix.
SPEAKER_1: We first have to introduce who these characters are.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, okay, sure.
SPEAKER_2: Do you wanna give me three to four sentences on Rix?
SPEAKER_1: Sure, Rix is a goblin in a mech suit.
SPEAKER_1: She is a fighter.
SPEAKER_1: She is disabled, and so her and her wife built a gigantic mech suit for her to be able to move around in.
SPEAKER_1: And then her wife died, and she got real sad and then real angry, went into the city, became an enforcer for a criminal group, and now is just very angry and confused about everything.
SPEAKER_2: That sounds pretty accurate.
SPEAKER_1: Give me the down low on Nia.
SPEAKER_2: Nia was raised in a utopia, Lambia, and she had lived there her entire life until she got invited on a grand quest, and she felt it was her need to go.
SPEAKER_2: And now she's basically like a clueless child that, she's not a child, she's an adult, but she was clueless going into the world.
SPEAKER_2: And then she gets to realize that things kind of suck.
SPEAKER_2: And Nia is very magic-y, she's a sorcerer.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: What else is Nia?
SPEAKER_2: Nia just does a bunch of traumas because she-
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, now she has a whole bunch of traumas.
SPEAKER_2: Only ever lived in Utopia.
SPEAKER_1: And now she's seeing how the rest of the world lives, and that's a bad time.
SPEAKER_1: The whole thing about Nia and Rix is that they are coming from basically inverse situations, and they're trying to figure out their shit together, which is really interesting and also provides so much opportunity for fan fiction.
SPEAKER_1: I think the first thing is there's everyone lives AUs that are always good.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, okay, we just got the AU of you and your wife.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, so there's that.
SPEAKER_2: Like school professors and Nia is like a student and is the mischief maker.
SPEAKER_1: I fucking, I hate, I love this.
SPEAKER_1: There's that one.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, there's lots of AUs, right?
SPEAKER_1: There's lots of AU potential.
SPEAKER_1: The classic, the most, what are the most classic AUs?
SPEAKER_1: It's the flower shop tattoo parlor AU.
SPEAKER_1: So it's usually the concept of it is that there's a flower shop and a tattoo parlor located one next to-
SPEAKER_1: There's lots of it.
SPEAKER_2: What?
SPEAKER_1: Located one next to the other, and each of the characters owns one of them.
SPEAKER_2: Wow.
SPEAKER_1: And it's like, the joke of it is usually that it's the one you wouldn't expect, right?
SPEAKER_1: So in our version, it would be, Rix owns the flower shop, and Nia owns the tattoo parlor.
SPEAKER_2: Right?
SPEAKER_1: Nia does own the tattoo parlor, that's true.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, Rix definitely owns the flower shop.
SPEAKER_2: And there's absolutely, Nia's like, Nia has a Lambia tattoo, but Lambia isn't real.
SPEAKER_1: Oh God, that's so good.
SPEAKER_1: Rix definitely is just in a wheelchair.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, with her wife at the flower shop.
SPEAKER_1: I think her wife's still dead.
SPEAKER_2: Oh.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, this is not the half of the everybody-
SPEAKER_2: This is why Rix owns the flower shop.
SPEAKER_2: It was her wife's flower shop.
SPEAKER_1: Yes, exactly, exactly.
SPEAKER_2: They opened it together.
SPEAKER_1: Exactly, and now she's become grumpy, and like, basically, what if Sprooge didn't have money?
SPEAKER_1: One of the things in our D&D campaign is that Nia and Rix are having to learn to become friends.
SPEAKER_2: I feel like friends is true.
SPEAKER_2: Learning to become friends, yeah.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: There have been situations where they have been forced to work together.
SPEAKER_2: Nia even murdered someone for the first time in her life in order to not let the information of Rix murdering the queen get out.
SPEAKER_1: Was that the reason that she did it?
SPEAKER_2: Not really.
SPEAKER_2: It was mostly the queen murdering everyone.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, that would do it.
SPEAKER_1: But the other thing is fanfic writers would immediately latch on to Nia and Rix as a couple.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: Which would be interesting, I think.
SPEAKER_2: I don't think that would work, though.
SPEAKER_1: No, I don't think it would.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, it's the same reason it doesn't work in the D&D campaign.
SPEAKER_1: It's the same reason.
SPEAKER_1: Because Nia and Rix have chemistry, but also...
SPEAKER_2: Sort of the same way that a bomb has chemistry.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_1: But yeah, Rix is still very torn up about her wife, which is fair.
SPEAKER_2: And Nia really just cares about winning.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Being right.
SPEAKER_1: Which is a lot.
SPEAKER_1: But also, you see exactly how this would lead fanfic writers to ship these two characters.
SPEAKER_1: Literally everything about this...
SPEAKER_1: Oh yeah, they're both very competitive with one another.
SPEAKER_1: They both argue a lot and have completely different viewpoints.
SPEAKER_1: It's the ideal setup for enemies to lovers.
SPEAKER_2: God.
SPEAKER_2: Well, the thing about fanfiction is you could make anyone date.
SPEAKER_1: It's true.
SPEAKER_1: One of my original thoughts of this question was like, oh, Salt Cravings fanfiction, but no.
SPEAKER_1: But no.
SPEAKER_1: No.
SPEAKER_2: It would be May.
SPEAKER_2: It was just the fanfiction is both of us.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: Hey, this is a good...
SPEAKER_1: Hey, here's a good fanfic concept.
SPEAKER_1: Write fanfiction about Claire's cat.
SPEAKER_1: And like maybe we're in it and that's cool, but like May has to be the first.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, that's true.
SPEAKER_2: May is the protagonist.
SPEAKER_1: May is the protagonist.
SPEAKER_1: That's your new way to write fanfiction.
SPEAKER_1: And it's not gay, but maybe, I don't know, could May...
SPEAKER_2: May is a lesbian.
SPEAKER_1: May is a lesbian.
SPEAKER_1: She could like meet some other cat.
SPEAKER_1: You want to write fanfiction about these two cats?
SPEAKER_1: There you go.
SPEAKER_2: I love Cats the Musical.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, basically the same thing.
SPEAKER_1: So we've given a lot here, and mostly it's been us talking about our D&D campaign, which I'm sure is fascinating and extremely interesting.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I mean, just...
SPEAKER_2: I mean, you can have good fanfiction about our D&D campaign.
SPEAKER_1: And really, you can have good fanfiction about anything, just like not real people.
SPEAKER_1: Don't do that.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, like...
SPEAKER_2: Unless it's May.
SPEAKER_2: May is a real person.
SPEAKER_1: May is a real person, and she gives you permission to write fanfiction about her.
SPEAKER_2: She's nodding.
SPEAKER_2: She's saying, yes, do it.
SPEAKER_1: Wait, can May talk?
SPEAKER_2: Only into a microphone.
SPEAKER_2: Hopefully this will satisfy your craving.
SPEAKER_2: Vavaceous?
SPEAKER_2: What was the word?
SPEAKER_1: It is Vesiferous for Visibility in Vancouver.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, Vesiferous.
SPEAKER_2: I hope that was good.
SPEAKER_1: Very good alliteration, by the way.
SPEAKER_2: Do you want to give me your second?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I would love to.
SPEAKER_1: And it's really fun.
SPEAKER_1: My next craving is about some games that I loved as a child.
SPEAKER_2: Who?
SPEAKER_1: The LEGO Star Wars video games.
SPEAKER_1: Were, I think, just the best.
SPEAKER_1: Video games, in general, rule and are so much fun.
SPEAKER_1: I played them a whole bunch when I was younger.
SPEAKER_1: I think I had them for the Wii or something, maybe even the GameCube at some point.
SPEAKER_1: I loved the LEGO Star Wars games and many of the other LEGO games.
SPEAKER_1: There was LEGO Harry Potter, LEGO whatever.
SPEAKER_1: And the reason those games are...
SPEAKER_1: I mean, there's so many reasons those games are fun.
SPEAKER_1: I just really think that they are just really good video games, particularly for children, but also just in general, because they're easy and chill and a good time.
SPEAKER_1: And what I am craving is a new LEGO video game franchise.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, God.
SPEAKER_2: So I have played some of the LEGO games.
SPEAKER_2: I played LEGO Batman.
SPEAKER_2: It was one of those games that just came with the console for free.
SPEAKER_1: Really?
SPEAKER_2: It was really good, though.
SPEAKER_1: It is good.
SPEAKER_1: The games are good.
SPEAKER_2: And I've also...
SPEAKER_2: When I watched YouTube back in high school, I would watch Hank Green and his wife play video games.
SPEAKER_2: And I think they played the LEGO...
SPEAKER_2: They played one franchise.
SPEAKER_2: I don't remember.
SPEAKER_2: But that was how I was introduced to the LEGO games.
SPEAKER_2: They were very good.
SPEAKER_1: When I played LEGO Star Wars, one of the versions had a way for you to make your own LEGO character.
SPEAKER_1: And that is how I made one of my first OCs.
SPEAKER_1: Which is so, like, on brand.
SPEAKER_2: So I think the next LEGO franchise...
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Can we do Friends of the Table?
SPEAKER_2: Or is that too much?
SPEAKER_1: Oh, Clair.
SPEAKER_1: It's not too much for me.
SPEAKER_1: It might be too much.
SPEAKER_2: I could throw you, like, Friends of the Table condoms, and you'd be like, yeah.
SPEAKER_1: You really could.
SPEAKER_1: I need merch for this obscure podcast that, like, only me and the people I've made want to listen to it.
SPEAKER_1: But I think that a Friends of the Table, like, LEGO game would be pretty excellent because you would just have...
SPEAKER_2: It would be very kid-friendly.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, it super would not be kid-friendly.
SPEAKER_1: But also, like, most of the LEGO games are about taking things that are varying levels of kid-friendly and making them kid-friendly.
SPEAKER_1: Right?
SPEAKER_1: Like, that's the whole joke of it, is, like, the very, like...
SPEAKER_1: There's a lot of humor in these games of just, like, these things that were once really intense, and, like, in LEGO Star Wars, Luke getting his hand cut off does not go the same way in the LEGO games as it goes in the actual thing, because his hand just falls off?
SPEAKER_1: I think it's just that, like, his hand falls off, and it's, like, sort of played for laughs.
SPEAKER_2: Oh.
SPEAKER_1: Which, because that's how LEGO games work, is everything's kind of played for laughs.
SPEAKER_1: You could play a lot of Friends at the Table things for laughs.
SPEAKER_1: As much as I really, like, desperately, with all of my heart and soul, want to talk about LEGO Friends at the Table, I am aware that most of the people listening to this...
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, it's a really narrow casting.
SPEAKER_1: It is a deep cut.
SPEAKER_2: I was also thinking, what about LEGO Shadow Hunters?
SPEAKER_2: And it's still just as edgy.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, that'd be very funny.
SPEAKER_1: I'm laughing at the thought of a Jace, like, LEGO.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, yes.
SPEAKER_1: Because he already kind of looks like a LEGO manager.
SPEAKER_2: In every reincarnation.
SPEAKER_2: Can we talk about the Jace from the movie real quick?
SPEAKER_2: Because what were they thinking?
SPEAKER_1: I mean, I haven't seen the movie.
SPEAKER_1: I've just watched it.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, you don't need to.
SPEAKER_1: I don't want to, no.
SPEAKER_2: The casting choices were bad.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, the thing about Jace in Shadowhunters is it's really hard to look at him.
SPEAKER_1: Like, OK, first of all, I'm a lesbian.
SPEAKER_1: There's no reality in which I find most men attractive.
SPEAKER_1: But I look at him and I go, how does anyone...
SPEAKER_1: This is not hate towards the actor who plays Jace, who may be a fine person, but the way that Jace looks and is styled and acts throughout.
SPEAKER_2: Oh my God, when I watch that, my only reaction is, how does...
SPEAKER_1: Clarissa, Clarie.
SPEAKER_2: How does Clarie not go for Simon?
SPEAKER_2: This is the thing.
SPEAKER_2: Can we talk about Simon for a second?
SPEAKER_1: I love him.
SPEAKER_2: Simon is like very...
SPEAKER_2: He's kind of shitty in his own ways, but he's very good natured.
SPEAKER_1: He's a very good natured person.
SPEAKER_2: I think he's a nice lad.
SPEAKER_1: He's a nice lad, and I think he gets better as the story goes on.
SPEAKER_2: He gets absolutely super duper better.
SPEAKER_1: I love him.
SPEAKER_1: He's just such a good...
SPEAKER_1: Jace doesn't.
SPEAKER_1: Jace gets worse.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, Jace gets worse.
SPEAKER_1: And it's not enjoyable to watch.
SPEAKER_1: And so, like, I don't know.
SPEAKER_1: I think LEGO Jace would be very funny because we could all laugh at how entirely edgy Jace is.
SPEAKER_1: Like, you don't even have to change anything about Jace because his performance is already extremely funny.
SPEAKER_2: That's true.
SPEAKER_2: You just quote him.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, you literally could.
SPEAKER_1: I feel like LEGO Magnus Bane would be really cool because you have just like the sparkly effects, but it's LEGO.
SPEAKER_2: God, yeah.
SPEAKER_1: I would also like to...
SPEAKER_2: Fanfic LEGO Shadowhunters.
SPEAKER_1: LEGO fanfic.
SPEAKER_2: The red block marries the blue block.
SPEAKER_1: Oh my God, I'm going to lose my mind.
SPEAKER_1: The concept of LEGO AUs are really funny because I can also see it being just like everyone is LEGO.
SPEAKER_1: Everyone is LEGO.
SPEAKER_2: Wait, what LEGO AU where you would not have people LEGO?
SPEAKER_2: Like, are you saying you have a LEGO world and then real people?
SPEAKER_1: Because you were like red block and that marries the blue block.
SPEAKER_1: I'm talking like...
SPEAKER_2: Oh, you want actual...
SPEAKER_1: Like fanfic of a series where the characters are just LEGO people now.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I really like that concept because then you could just write about, and I took my hands off for the night.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, literally.
SPEAKER_2: I don't like sleeping with my hands on.
SPEAKER_2: I prefer to remove my torso when I wake up in the morning.
SPEAKER_2: I only have my sleeping legs, and then I have my awake legs.
SPEAKER_1: And then sometimes you just need to change your head.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, you just twist it around, and you have a different emotion on the back of it.
SPEAKER_1: God, yeah, that's so fucking good.
SPEAKER_1: Everything about this is the best thing.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, most series that we're fans of, I think would be kind of hilarious in LEGO, consider Avatar the LEGO airbender.
SPEAKER_2: It would just be good.
SPEAKER_1: It'd be just good.
SPEAKER_1: It would just work.
SPEAKER_2: I wanted to say LEGO Titans because it's so grimdark, but that's just LEGO Batman.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, yeah, it really is.
SPEAKER_2: LEGO Star Trek.
SPEAKER_1: Ooh, LEGO Star Trek.
SPEAKER_2: It's all about morality still.
SPEAKER_1: It's all about morality.
SPEAKER_2: Should we really allow the blocks to be aligned?
SPEAKER_1: Should we interfere in this LEGO planet's affairs?
SPEAKER_2: This LEGO planet is building another planet on top of its planet.
SPEAKER_1: Is this moral?
SPEAKER_1: But also the other thing that would be fun is maybe some of the aliens are other types of building blocks.
SPEAKER_1: LEGO blocks, aliens, K'nex aliens.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, yes.
SPEAKER_1: Oh my god, these are really good.
SPEAKER_1: What about LEGO Smash Brothers?
SPEAKER_2: Ooh, is it a video game or a movie?
SPEAKER_1: It's a video game.
SPEAKER_2: Okay.
SPEAKER_1: Why would it be a movie?
SPEAKER_1: What?
SPEAKER_1: You know, the LEGO movie?
SPEAKER_1: Well, okay, the LEGO movies do exist.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: But I want LEGO Smash Bros.
SPEAKER_2: The movie.
SPEAKER_2: And then we get Ryan Reynolds to voice Pikachu.
SPEAKER_1: LEGO Detective Pikachu.
SPEAKER_2: LEGO Detective Pikachu.
SPEAKER_1: They're still fuzzy.
SPEAKER_1: All the Pokémon are still fuzzy.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I think LEGO Smash Bros.
SPEAKER_1: would be great because like that's just all of your favorite characters, but they're LEGO now.
SPEAKER_1: LEGO Mario.
SPEAKER_2: There's no better franchise than all of them.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_1: Exactly.
SPEAKER_1: We've done everything's LEGO now.
SPEAKER_1: This is the thing.
SPEAKER_1: All video games are LEGO games now.
SPEAKER_2: LEGO Sonic.
SPEAKER_2: Gotta build fast.
SPEAKER_1: Gotta build fast.
SPEAKER_1: Actually, that could have some fun mechanics.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, that's true.
SPEAKER_2: Take yourself apart, hit the other person, and then put yourself back together.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I think the thing that we're learning here.
SPEAKER_2: Is everything is better in LEGOs.
SPEAKER_1: Is everything is better in LEGOs.
SPEAKER_2: Say it with LEGOs.
SPEAKER_1: Say it with LEGOs.
SPEAKER_1: God, that's such a mix of cuts, Clair.
SPEAKER_1: It's like, there's so many...
SPEAKER_2: Dirty layers.
SPEAKER_1: But yeah, say it with LEGOs.
SPEAKER_2: Do you love them?
SPEAKER_2: Say it with LEGOs.
SPEAKER_1: God, I need a moment.
SPEAKER_1: I need a moment before we get into your presentation.
SPEAKER_1: Just think about how...
SPEAKER_1: This is the thing about Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_1: I don't think anything in this podcast has a target audience.
SPEAKER_2: The target audience is us.
SPEAKER_1: The target audience is us.
SPEAKER_1: We are making this podcast for ourselves.
SPEAKER_2: We do this for ourselves.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, like, there's at least one references episode that I guarantee someone out there has been like, what the fuck is that?
SPEAKER_1: Like, something that we've said like, oh yeah, this is a normal thing that everyone knows.
SPEAKER_2: It's the regular podcast where we have regular conversations about regular topics.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, God.
SPEAKER_2: That's what it is.
SPEAKER_1: That's what it is.
SPEAKER_2: Do you want to give me, do I want to give you my last craving?
SPEAKER_1: I've given you, I've given you many cravings.
SPEAKER_2: You've given me everything you can.
SPEAKER_1: I've given you everything I can, Clair.
SPEAKER_2: There's no more.
SPEAKER_1: Please put a craving into the pot.
SPEAKER_1: Please ma'am, may I have some craving?
SPEAKER_2: So my craving has been first to show someone a meme.
SPEAKER_1: Oh my God, this is a good craving.
SPEAKER_2: It's a good craving because a number of times, I mean, you said someone a meme.
SPEAKER_2: What do you do when you've already received the meme?
SPEAKER_2: Like, what do you do personally?
SPEAKER_1: I usually go, oh God, this is going to reveal how much I get sent the same memes.
SPEAKER_1: I usually say something like, oh, I love that post or I love that-
SPEAKER_1: You've said that to me for sure.
SPEAKER_1: I usually will just react a little bit less excitedly and will be like, oh, that's cool.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I get sent the same memes a lot, which is fine.
SPEAKER_1: I really appreciate when people send me memes, even if it's the same memes, I'm like, I'm glad that you thought of me and this feels good.
SPEAKER_2: It's really great getting targeted for like very specific memes from like five different people.
SPEAKER_1: And it's how it happens, right?
SPEAKER_1: I get one person who sends me like Smash Bros, Nintendo memes.
SPEAKER_1: I get a lot of like literature memes and history memes.
SPEAKER_1: I get memes because people claim that I'm a furry.
SPEAKER_1: I get memes for just like any video game that I've ever played with anyone.
SPEAKER_1: I get a lot of memes from a lot of people and I appreciate all of them.
SPEAKER_1: I do often get sent memes over and over again.
SPEAKER_1: And that's why it is such a good feeling to be able to actually send someone a meme they haven't seen before.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: What is the etiquette around reacting to a meme?
SPEAKER_2: You've already extracted all the funny juice out of it.
SPEAKER_1: You don't key smash.
SPEAKER_1: Which is what I do when I get a meme a lot of the time.
SPEAKER_1: I think the etiquette is...
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I don't know the etiquette.
SPEAKER_2: There are some people who I know who are just like, saw it on Reddit.
SPEAKER_2: And that's just their reply.
SPEAKER_2: And I'm like, I don't care.
SPEAKER_2: I sent you the meme because I thought of you.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, that's not what you want to do.
SPEAKER_1: You want them to like...
SPEAKER_2: Because you don't want to discourage people from sending you memes.
SPEAKER_2: Because, I mean, maybe you do.
SPEAKER_2: Maybe you're like that.
SPEAKER_2: But like, I...
SPEAKER_1: Maybe you're dead.
SPEAKER_1: Maybe you're a fucking asshole.
SPEAKER_2: Wow.
SPEAKER_2: Maybe you like getting memes like me.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, same.
SPEAKER_2: And you don't want people to stop sending you memes just because you've seen this meme three times before.
SPEAKER_1: I think it just has to be something like...
SPEAKER_1: Maybe it's just all of this.
SPEAKER_1: Maybe it's just, thank you for sending me this meme.
SPEAKER_1: I've seen this meme before, but I do appreciate it.
SPEAKER_2: It's like when you leave someone a voicemail.
SPEAKER_1: It literally is.
SPEAKER_2: It's an auto thing.
SPEAKER_2: And it's like, sorry, this user has received this meme before.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, thank you.
SPEAKER_2: We appreciate you for your time and your consideration.
SPEAKER_1: Please try again later with a different meme.
SPEAKER_1: God, yeah, I think that has to be the etiquette, right?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: Or even just like a rotating couple of things.
SPEAKER_2: Just to keep it a little personal.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Alternatively, and the craving is, being the first to share someone a meme, how can you ensure that you are the first to send someone a meme?
SPEAKER_1: I have a real answer.
SPEAKER_1: I have a real answer, which is like...
SPEAKER_2: You go to the source of the meme, and you extract it from the ground yourself.
SPEAKER_2: You go to the meme farm, and you get fresh memes.
SPEAKER_1: That feel when you go to the meme tree and put a tapper in.
SPEAKER_1: You tap the meme tree.
SPEAKER_1: You are just going to the source of the meme, you know?
SPEAKER_1: And making sure that you're getting only 100% pure memes from the source.
SPEAKER_2: I guess the real answer is you can just only ever make your own memes.
SPEAKER_1: That's a good answer.
SPEAKER_2: Never share anyone else's memes.
SPEAKER_2: In fact, if you do see a meme, steal it.
SPEAKER_2: Make it your own.
SPEAKER_2: Change it ever so slightly.
SPEAKER_1: That's a meme.
SPEAKER_1: The thing that you're describing is a meme, Clair.
SPEAKER_2: Exactly.
SPEAKER_1: The thing that you're describing is a meme.
SPEAKER_2: So what you're saying is I'm right.
SPEAKER_1: You're right.
SPEAKER_1: It's true.
SPEAKER_1: But at what cost?
SPEAKER_1: I think the other answer is get into really niche groups.
SPEAKER_1: And really niche, like, meme-like.
SPEAKER_2: I really like sending people bird memes because I'm pretty sure no one follows bird things.
SPEAKER_1: No one really follows bird memes.
SPEAKER_2: So I get to know that no one sees bird memes ever, and I'm like, oh, I'm pretty sure no one's seen this bird meme before.
SPEAKER_1: God, yeah.
SPEAKER_1: There's a Facebook group that I'm in that is just like a lot of really weird and cool memes.
SPEAKER_1: It's a really cool small meme group, and it just comes with the most obscure memes.
SPEAKER_1: I've never even heard of before that come from like niches I am not a part of, and they're excellent.
SPEAKER_1: And anytime that I send a meme to someone who is not in that group, I know that they probably have not seen it before because it's so niche.
SPEAKER_2: So is niche meme culture a thing?
SPEAKER_1: I think it is.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, yeah, it definitely is.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, fandom memes are often really niche.
SPEAKER_2: At what point is a meme niche versus nonsensical?
SPEAKER_2: Like how niche can you get before there is no real reason or meaning?
SPEAKER_1: It has to make sense to someone.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, so as long as you can say it to one other person.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, like as long as there's someone else who gets it, like then that's a niche meme.
SPEAKER_1: If there's no one else who gets it, that's a nonsense meme.
SPEAKER_2: What if you only ever make a meme for you?
SPEAKER_1: Self-meming.
SPEAKER_2: Self-meming.
SPEAKER_2: Is it truly a meme anymore then?
SPEAKER_2: If it's only for you.
SPEAKER_1: I have a great example of a niche meme, and it's also a good story of the time that I was briefly a meme in my high school.
SPEAKER_2: Great.
SPEAKER_1: We were in class goofing off or something, and someone was just like taking pictures and like ended up taking a picture of me making a really weird face.
SPEAKER_1: And like that picture of my face, they began making into a meme.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, good.
SPEAKER_1: It ended up as like a wallpaper, as a Minecraft texture pack, whatever rained my face.
SPEAKER_1: It was very funny.
SPEAKER_1: Wow.
SPEAKER_1: It was a lot.
SPEAKER_1: And it was like, it was only for a couple of days, but it was really funny.
SPEAKER_1: And it was very weird to be like, oh, that's my face.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I've been a meme before.
SPEAKER_1: And I think that that's a pretty good way to ensure that no one else has seen those memes.
SPEAKER_1: Make yourself into a meme.
SPEAKER_1: Clair, what's the new, what's the meme that you're going to be?
SPEAKER_1: In order to make sure you can send this meme to people and have them not have seen it before.
SPEAKER_1: That was the worst way I could have worded that sentence.
SPEAKER_1: What meme are you?
SPEAKER_2: I would be a wholesome meme.
SPEAKER_2: I would be like, you can, things are hard, but you can do it.
SPEAKER_2: Remember that other people, here's my meme.
SPEAKER_2: How do you justify someone else's actions as much as you justify your own?
SPEAKER_1: This is...
SPEAKER_1: I need a minute.
SPEAKER_1: This is weird and cool.
SPEAKER_1: So it's a philosophical meme.
SPEAKER_2: It's wholesome.
SPEAKER_2: It's about the positivity of others.
SPEAKER_2: Wholesome philosophy.
SPEAKER_1: Wholesome philosophy, Clair.
SPEAKER_1: We just need a good picture of you to be wholesome philosophy, Clair.
SPEAKER_1: You could just have a book out in front of you making some sort of pose of some kind.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know.
SPEAKER_1: Wholesome philosophy, Clair.
SPEAKER_1: That's the meme.
SPEAKER_2: Great.
SPEAKER_2: Well, if it was going to be any meme, I'm glad it's that meme.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, there's a lot of worse memes it could be.
SPEAKER_2: It's the meme meme.
SPEAKER_1: The meme.
SPEAKER_2: I think that means the episode has devolved.
SPEAKER_1: I think it does.
SPEAKER_1: I think we need to bring it back to regularity.
SPEAKER_1: Don't you think?
SPEAKER_2: Regular.
SPEAKER_1: Regularization.
SPEAKER_2: We're going to sum it up, and then we're going to divide by it.
SPEAKER_1: Yes.
SPEAKER_2: Please, if you feel that it is something that you should do as a regular person.
SPEAKER_2: If there's a churning in your stomach to participate in the society of Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_1: Then please send us some regular cravings to submissions at saltcravings.com.
SPEAKER_2: There are some regular websites you can go to, like Twitter or Facebook or Instagram.
SPEAKER_1: And you can regularly follow us there at Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_1: Why are you laughing, Clair?
SPEAKER_1: That's not particularly regular of you.
SPEAKER_2: Huber isn't regular.
SPEAKER_2: Only the abnormal have Huber.
SPEAKER_1: It's true.
SPEAKER_1: But you know what is very regular?
SPEAKER_1: Leaving a rating or review for us on...
SPEAKER_2: But not a regular one.
SPEAKER_1: Please give us a good one.
SPEAKER_1: Yes, please give us a good...
SPEAKER_2: Well, a good rating is a regular rating.
SPEAKER_1: I think that that is the way to do things very regularly.
SPEAKER_1: We're doing a very regular sign off right now, Clair.
SPEAKER_2: So regular.
SPEAKER_1: It's so incredibly regular.
SPEAKER_2: I would challenge you.
SPEAKER_2: Even attempt to duel you on a more regular scale than this.
SPEAKER_1: It's true.
SPEAKER_1: The only thing that could make it irregular, if it was to cut off in the middle of our...