SPEAKER_2: Hello everyone, and welcome to Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_2: My name's Brianna.
SPEAKER_1: And my name's Clair.
SPEAKER_2: And today we are back with our normal podcast.
SPEAKER_2: It's episode 20.
SPEAKER_2: That's pretty cool.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, and well, Clair, I was thinking, now that it's episode 20, I think it's time for us to stop like messing around.
SPEAKER_2: I think we need to actually do a real podcast.
SPEAKER_1: What is a real podcast?
SPEAKER_2: Well, I just think, I think we need consistent intros, outros, structure.
SPEAKER_2: We had our fun.
SPEAKER_2: We enjoyed doing different things, you know, for 19 episodes of fun.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, there's 19 episodes of fun.
SPEAKER_2: Now, we got to get real.
SPEAKER_2: We got to make our podcast into a business.
SPEAKER_2: We got to have a consistent structure, like all those other podcasts.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I got all those sponsors, advertisements, the whole deal.
SPEAKER_2: So I think we're both agreed on this, that this is the right way to go.
SPEAKER_2: So Clair, what do you think we should be doing for a consistent intro from now on?
SPEAKER_1: Uh, hello and welcome to Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, okay, well, it's interesting.
SPEAKER_1: You know, it's not fun.
SPEAKER_1: We're leaving fun behind.
SPEAKER_2: We are leaving fun behind.
SPEAKER_2: We can no longer be funny.
SPEAKER_1: We'd be funny, but it's sort of like it's a morose humor.
SPEAKER_2: It's a really morose humor.
SPEAKER_2: It's got to be like really dark.
SPEAKER_1: Hello and welcome to What You Believe Is Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_2: Hey, I might be Brianna.
SPEAKER_1: There's a chance that I'm Clair.
SPEAKER_2: And then, but then what after that bit, what do we say?
SPEAKER_2: Because right now we just keep doing, you know, whatever nonsense.
SPEAKER_2: And clearly that's not a good idea.
SPEAKER_1: And as we know, no one's ever built a franchise on whatever nonsense.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_2: It's certainly not a comedy franchise.
SPEAKER_2: Maybe we just do news recaps.
SPEAKER_2: Because we are now like a really serious, like edgy show.
SPEAKER_2: And the news is maybe the most edgy thing these days.
SPEAKER_1: True.
SPEAKER_2: So we could just do a news recap, you know, after we get into the show, we just start going off of them.
SPEAKER_1: Do you want to tell me about news?
SPEAKER_2: Sure.
SPEAKER_2: Well, everything is bad.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: I was trying to think of a news article that wasn't literally the most sad and depressing thing in the world.
SPEAKER_2: And, Clair, the thing is I couldn't think of one.
SPEAKER_1: I saw one good one.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, give me the good news article.
SPEAKER_1: Sam Smith came out as non-binary, but then I learned that that came out a year ago.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Well, that whole situation is Sam Smith came out once upon a time and everyone was like, okay, cool.
SPEAKER_2: And then like did an interview with Jamila, Jamil who plays Tawny in The Good Place.
SPEAKER_2: And like, I don't even know, came out again, came out more.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, it's like, was explicit about...
SPEAKER_1: Show me one queer who's come out once.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, that's the thing, right?
SPEAKER_2: You got to come out at least like five times.
SPEAKER_2: So Sam Smith has like three to go.
SPEAKER_2: Three more.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, like three more to go.
SPEAKER_1: It's like a video game.
SPEAKER_1: You have a discharge rate coming out.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I didn't read the whole article.
SPEAKER_1: I'm not going to lie.
SPEAKER_1: It just came up on my newsfeed and I was like, wow.
SPEAKER_2: This is why we should be presenting the news because we don't need to read the news articles.
SPEAKER_1: It was a small little happiness in the badness.
SPEAKER_2: It's a small little happiness.
SPEAKER_1: We shared some news.
SPEAKER_2: There we go.
SPEAKER_1: Are we done?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I think we did.
SPEAKER_2: I think this is a really good structure for what we're going to do moving forward.
SPEAKER_2: And we're going to do this for every episode.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, OK, cool.
SPEAKER_2: Would you like to give me a craving?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I would like to give you a craving.
SPEAKER_1: I've been thinking a lot about tabletop RPGs.
SPEAKER_1: And we did bring up Nia and Rix on the podcast last time.
SPEAKER_2: We did.
SPEAKER_1: And I really like tabletop RPGs.
SPEAKER_1: This might come as a surprise that I'm a huge nerd.
SPEAKER_1: I imagine no one has guessed that.
SPEAKER_2: I am shocked, Clair.
SPEAKER_1: So I've been thinking a lot about tabletop RPGs.
SPEAKER_1: So I just actually like to read you a passage from the creation of D&D from Wikipedia.
SPEAKER_1: I'm just kidding, of course.
SPEAKER_1: I want to make a tabletop RPG with you.
SPEAKER_2: Yes, yes.
SPEAKER_1: So I've written some stuff down.
SPEAKER_1: Just because we are kind of on a timer here.
SPEAKER_1: We are.
SPEAKER_2: It's true.
SPEAKER_1: So one thing that I really like about tabletop RPGs is there's a scope to them.
SPEAKER_1: You can really zoom in and tell a really minute story day by day, or you can do world building and go years or months or weeks at a time.
SPEAKER_1: And so one thing I wanted to ask is like what level of zoom do you prefer?
SPEAKER_2: Oh, that's a good question.
SPEAKER_2: Because to be honest, I play both games that are like huge, big affairs and like games that are tiny and small, right?
SPEAKER_2: I would be interested because I kind of know what I want out of a big like civilization building game.
SPEAKER_2: Let's zoom in.
SPEAKER_2: Let's zoom in on like a group of people.
SPEAKER_1: Previous to this, I sort of thought about this.
SPEAKER_1: I asked myself like, what do I prefer?
SPEAKER_1: And the thing is, I've never actually played a big overarching game.
SPEAKER_1: I've played a lot of very like everyone's a character, and I really like when people have characters.
SPEAKER_1: So I want to keep that.
SPEAKER_1: And one thing I was thinking is players having actions that cost time instead of points or something.
SPEAKER_1: And so you can have like a big time action, a medium time action and a small time action.
SPEAKER_1: And then you, as I guess a GM can sort of set like what is the scope of this game?
SPEAKER_1: Is it years?
SPEAKER_1: Is it weeks?
SPEAKER_1: What is a big time action?
SPEAKER_1: Is it a day?
SPEAKER_1: Is it an hour?
SPEAKER_2: I like this.
SPEAKER_2: This is something that the game Kingdom does really well.
SPEAKER_2: Kingdom does have a mechanic called time passes, because basically Kingdom is characters playing through scenes that determine the fate of a kingdom.
SPEAKER_2: The kingdom can be on any scale.
SPEAKER_2: And after every scene, you check either crisis, if you think the kingdom is in crisis, crossroads and time passes.
SPEAKER_2: If you think that no meaningful action has been taken on a crossroad.
SPEAKER_2: Time passes can be any length of time.
SPEAKER_2: I'm actually playing a game of Kingdom right now, where we are on a time passes right now.
SPEAKER_2: So we're taking a couple of weeks between games because busy, and it's going to be three years difference in game.
SPEAKER_2: It's cool because it also depends on like, if you're playing kids in like a high school, three weeks is everything.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, you could have a passage of time where a small action is literally like a class, or like a medium action is like a day, or a big action is like a couple days, or like a week.
SPEAKER_1: Like what could you do in a week in high school?
SPEAKER_1: Or what could you do in a single class in high school?
SPEAKER_2: You do a lot, right?
SPEAKER_2: Like that's the whole thing.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, so that's the main thing is that I want like three action classes.
SPEAKER_1: I want big, medium and small, and then it's up to the GM to decide.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: I really like the idea of the player telling the GM what they want to do, and then the GM deciding the size of that action.
SPEAKER_2: I think that that's good.
SPEAKER_2: I think that that has to have a particular very collaborative like GM style.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, of course.
SPEAKER_1: Have I said that I love collaboration within game building, world building.
SPEAKER_2: Me too.
SPEAKER_2: What's the setting?
SPEAKER_1: That is important, isn't it?
SPEAKER_1: The sci-fi.
SPEAKER_1: I love sci-fi.
SPEAKER_1: So why not sci-fi?
SPEAKER_2: I mean, I like the idea of a very small group.
SPEAKER_1: I'm thinking literally like a spaceship, two to five people, or one to four players and a GM.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, so like what else do you have written down?
SPEAKER_1: So I'm not too sure about how actions relate to scenes, and I really like scenes in the overarching games, but I also want roles.
SPEAKER_1: I want some randomness introduced into it.
SPEAKER_1: So I want dice, and I'm not sure how the roles interact with the scene.
SPEAKER_1: For example, we could do the role first, and then you have to do the scene related to how good the role is, or you do the scene and then you get a bonus or a subtraction to your role.
SPEAKER_2: Mmm, that makes sense.
SPEAKER_1: And then you finish the scene.
SPEAKER_2: That's a recognizable structure.
SPEAKER_2: Again, what we're getting to is games that exist.
SPEAKER_1: What do you do if you don't just pick your favorite things from existing games?
SPEAKER_1: I mean, do you have a new idea that's never been done before that you want to throw into this mix?
SPEAKER_2: So here's the thing.
SPEAKER_2: I recently was shown on Twitter, someone's already actually made the best tabletop game in the world.
SPEAKER_1: What's it about?
SPEAKER_2: It is a sci-fi Carly Rae Jepsen themed heist game.
SPEAKER_1: Oh my God.
SPEAKER_2: Where the point is you are a small group who is breaking into this like high tech vault to get the 200 unreleased Carly Rae Jepsen songs, which is a real thing that exists.
SPEAKER_2: A vault of 200 unreleased Carly Rae Jepsen songs.
SPEAKER_1: I want to play this game.
SPEAKER_1: And then also do it in real life.
SPEAKER_2: Yes, same.
SPEAKER_2: But like the point of that is I really like the mix of just like sci-fi like out there-ness and like something like pop music, right?
SPEAKER_2: Something that is not particularly-
SPEAKER_1: And also particularly Carly Rae Jepsen.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_1: Who does come from Mission and is the only good thing about Mission.
SPEAKER_2: Um, Clair, there's another good thing.
SPEAKER_2: That's you.
SPEAKER_1: And also The Diner.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, that's three.
SPEAKER_2: We got three.
SPEAKER_2: I'm very into the idea of doing like a sci-fi game that is focused around a really mundane and like normal thing.
SPEAKER_1: What's the normal thing?
SPEAKER_1: It's like going grocery shopping, talking.
SPEAKER_2: It's like, what about like farming?
SPEAKER_1: Farming?
SPEAKER_1: Ooh, what does sci-fi farming look like?
SPEAKER_2: Put Stardew Valley in space.
SPEAKER_2: Hey, maybe.
SPEAKER_2: Throwing out the farming idea.
SPEAKER_2: You are just people in a town.
SPEAKER_2: You're just people.
SPEAKER_2: OK, it is like Stardew Valley in that you are like a group of people in a town who just like do things in that town.
SPEAKER_2: And it's a sci-fi town.
SPEAKER_2: Your roles are like minor.
SPEAKER_2: Maybe one person's role is farmer.
SPEAKER_1: Can I offer an alternative?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, go.
SPEAKER_1: I've played a lot of espionage, D&D and whatnot.
SPEAKER_1: And not just D&D, but espionage stuff.
SPEAKER_1: I have this lovely friend who I've talked to you about.
SPEAKER_1: They ran a lot of my first RPG sessions.
SPEAKER_1: They loved espionage stuff.
SPEAKER_1: And basically at the end of every game, we'd come out of it being like, what just happened?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: What is going on in this world?
SPEAKER_1: And then like a few sessions later, we'd learn something and put everything in perspective.
SPEAKER_1: It just be like, there's no such thing as evil people.
SPEAKER_1: All these people kind of just have their motives.
SPEAKER_1: So I like things going on in the background.
SPEAKER_2: So yeah, I mean, it could be just that like the world is like in like a crisis of some kind.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, yes.
SPEAKER_2: It's the world in crisis and you are normal people in like a small town on one planet.
SPEAKER_1: So what if worlds in crisis and you're incredibly important?
SPEAKER_2: You're incredibly important and also like you're not incredibly important in the start of the game.
SPEAKER_1: Interesting.
SPEAKER_1: Okay.
SPEAKER_1: How long does this game go?
SPEAKER_1: Is it a one session game?
SPEAKER_1: Is it a multi-session game?
SPEAKER_1: Because sometimes I do just like one session.
SPEAKER_2: I'm okay.
SPEAKER_2: I will say one of my feelings on tabletop games is like as much as I love long multi-session games, I'm in two of them right now and they're great.
SPEAKER_2: I am a huge fan of like one shots of like one session games or like stuff that's on a smaller time scale, right?
SPEAKER_2: Like maybe two sessions or whatever like that is a lot easier to me.
SPEAKER_1: And people haven't forgotten what's happened.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know, six months ago.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_2: So like I would be way more interested in this being like a one or two session game.
SPEAKER_2: Because that's just going to be easier for people to play.
SPEAKER_2: What if it's like, oh, okay, actually, hey, Clair.
SPEAKER_2: Hey, Clair.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, I have a way to do this.
SPEAKER_2: I have a way to do this.
SPEAKER_1: Tell me.
SPEAKER_2: I love mirroring and like the tendency to mirror things on a smaller scale than on a larger scale.
SPEAKER_2: And I'm thinking, your characters in a small town in a society that's going through a crisis, your small town is also going through a like relevant crisis or a mirrored crisis to the large society.
SPEAKER_2: And the decisions you make as people in that town end up being the decisions that are made on the large scale.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_1: What if, now hear me out.
SPEAKER_1: What if the small town is you are a simulation and you don't know it, and you're being looked to by the society to reflect the actions that need to be taken for the society.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, wait, how do you represent the rest of the world if you're all just people in the simulation?
SPEAKER_1: Maybe the people playing the game are the rest of the world.
SPEAKER_1: And maybe the game being played is the simulation.
SPEAKER_2: Clair, Clair go Clair.
SPEAKER_1: No, no, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_2: But okay, what if it's not just the outside world follows exactly to what happened in the game, but you play one game and you are people in the simulation, and then you play another game.
SPEAKER_1: And you switch, and you see the repercussions, and then you have to do something and then you switch back and forth.
SPEAKER_2: Oh yeah, that's super cool.
SPEAKER_2: So you have two characters each.
SPEAKER_2: This is some like one of those movies where like you enter into the video game, and you're like in the game, and like then you're out of the game shit.
SPEAKER_2: Like that's what this is, what we're describing.
SPEAKER_1: We've made Matrix the TTRPG.
SPEAKER_2: We've made Matrix the TTRPG.
SPEAKER_2: This is so good.
SPEAKER_2: And it's perfect.
SPEAKER_2: It's perfect.
SPEAKER_1: God, thank you for making a TTRPG with me.
SPEAKER_1: I've never done it before.
SPEAKER_1: It's a craving that's now been solved.
SPEAKER_2: I'm so glad.
SPEAKER_2: This was going to come up as a craving of mine if it didn't come up as a craving of yours.
SPEAKER_1: I'm sure.
SPEAKER_2: My current Twitter bio is something along the lines of like, I yell about RPGs a lot.
SPEAKER_2: Like, that's where I'm at as a person.
SPEAKER_1: And I love this stuff.
SPEAKER_1: Do you want to give me your first craving?
SPEAKER_2: I would love to give you my first craving.
SPEAKER_2: I love...
SPEAKER_2: No, let me try that one again.
SPEAKER_1: My craving is a lot of things.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, honestly.
SPEAKER_2: I love really creative uses of the internet.
SPEAKER_2: And one in particular that may seem like a small thing, but that is infinitely excellent to me, is domain suffixes.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, that is very important.
SPEAKER_2: Specifically, really creative suffixes.
SPEAKER_2: Everyone's got their.coms and their.orgs and their.cas and whatever.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, goo.gl or time.is.
SPEAKER_2: Or just anything like.is,.pizza,.whatever is always really funny to me.
SPEAKER_2: And with that in mind, Clair, what's some new domain name suffixes?
SPEAKER_1: I was trying to think of this.
SPEAKER_1: When I was making saltcravings.com, I was trying to get like ings or saltcrave, like saltcrave.ings or something like that.
SPEAKER_1: That doesn't exist.
SPEAKER_1: So I want that to be a thing.
SPEAKER_2: I like that.
SPEAKER_2: I also like salt.cravings.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, that was another thing.
SPEAKER_1: Listen, I love this.
SPEAKER_1: I used to work as a web developer.
SPEAKER_1: This is something that I looked at a lot.
SPEAKER_2: Or just dot salt is also good.
SPEAKER_1: Dot salt is just also what we need, right?
SPEAKER_1: Cravings dot salt.
SPEAKER_2: Cravings dot salt.
SPEAKER_2: Dot salt is really an unexplored medium because you can have anything be dot salt.
SPEAKER_1: Like strawberry dot salt, salad dot salt.
SPEAKER_2: We're making a lot of throwback, right?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, like this is the thing, right?
SPEAKER_2: Anything dot salt is good.
SPEAKER_2: Anything dot salt.
SPEAKER_2: There you go.
SPEAKER_1: There you go.
SPEAKER_1: All the things dot salt.
SPEAKER_2: Gaming dot salt.
SPEAKER_2: You really are just salty about gaming.
SPEAKER_2: Always, always a mood.
SPEAKER_1: What are some other fun things about the internet that you like?
SPEAKER_1: I can give you an idea of something that I like that's fun that the internet is used for.
SPEAKER_2: Sure.
SPEAKER_1: Maybe this isn't as fun as I thought it was going to be actually.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know.
SPEAKER_2: I'm thinking about it.
SPEAKER_1: But syncing all of your podcasts over your devices.
SPEAKER_2: You're a nerd, Clair.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, okay, listen.
SPEAKER_1: You're a nerd.
SPEAKER_1: Background syncing is something that, I mean, people don't think about a lot, but it's so important.
SPEAKER_1: I think that's pretty cool.
SPEAKER_2: That's very cool.
SPEAKER_1: It's maybe a little nerdier than I expected it to sound.
SPEAKER_2: No, but I know the solution to this.
SPEAKER_2: Podcast.sync.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_1: Podcast.sync.
SPEAKER_2: I really need to clarify that the specific thing I'm talking about, about how much I like the internet, is domain suffixes.
SPEAKER_2: And generally the ability to come up with cool URLs, this is something that was really good on Tumblr until, you know, Tumblr decided to crap itself.
SPEAKER_2: Tumblr had other suffixes?
SPEAKER_2: No, but just the actual names themselves.
SPEAKER_2: People have fun URLs.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, the prefixes.
SPEAKER_1: The prefixes are subdomains.
SPEAKER_1: You can do that whenever.
SPEAKER_1: We could have like coolkids.saltcravings.com if we wanted.
SPEAKER_2: coolkids.saltcravings.com.
SPEAKER_2: It's a good point.
SPEAKER_1: Where all the cool kids who listed to Salt Cravings go, I hate myself because now I'm going to have to make that, aren't I?
SPEAKER_2: You're going to have to make coolkids.saltcravings.com.
SPEAKER_2: It could just be a way to get to our homepage.
SPEAKER_1: It's the same homepage, except instead of Salt Cravings, it just says the cool kids.
SPEAKER_2: This is for the cool kids.
SPEAKER_2: I mean,.
SPEAKER_2: cool is good..cool is very...
SPEAKER_1: I feel like I want.cool to exist so much that I'm going to pretend like I've seen it before.
SPEAKER_2: I think I have seen it before, and if I haven't, it should exist.
SPEAKER_1: It's a real shame that it hasn't, if it doesn't.
SPEAKER_2: What about.gay?
SPEAKER_1: See, I like that, but I feel like that could be used for evil.
SPEAKER_2: It would definitely be used for evil, but yeah, there's no but.
SPEAKER_2: It would just be used for evil.
SPEAKER_2: We can't let them have that.
SPEAKER_1: I would immediately register im.gay.
SPEAKER_2: Oh my god.
SPEAKER_2: Saltcraving's.gay.
SPEAKER_2: We could do just like...
SPEAKER_2: We just have it so that the suffix is every craving in an episode.
SPEAKER_2: saltcravings.ttrpgs.
SPEAKER_1: Oh my god.
SPEAKER_2: Hang on, hang on, just like a minute.
SPEAKER_2: Just a minute, just a minute.
SPEAKER_2: One day, and we've already done this craving today, so this is going to have to be another day, but one day we are going to have to make a salt cravings ttrpg.
SPEAKER_2: And I'm writing that down for a future day.
SPEAKER_1: All right.
SPEAKER_1: It's officially a different craving.
SPEAKER_2: It is going to be a different craving, because the one that we did was a ttrpg created by salt cravings.
SPEAKER_2: This is a salt cravings ttrpg.
SPEAKER_2: And I don't know what that looks like, and we're not going to find out today, because right now we're talking about suffixes.
SPEAKER_1: Yep, that's true.
SPEAKER_1: I really like the.family..family is good.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, because like...
SPEAKER_1: You can do like a product, I don't know,.
SPEAKER_1: family.
SPEAKER_1: It's the family product.
SPEAKER_1: Or you can go like...
SPEAKER_2: Salt cravings.family.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: When we have all of our like 10 podcasts.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, because we'll have the time to do that.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_2: Well, you know, like five of them are actual podcasts.
SPEAKER_2: One of them is about building TTRPGs, you know?
SPEAKER_2: Actually, hey, that would be a really good idea.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I immediately thought like, you know what?
SPEAKER_2: That would be interesting.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, let's just like...
SPEAKER_1: Not.
SPEAKER_2: No, we're not going to do it.
SPEAKER_2: We're not going to do it yet.
SPEAKER_2: But that's the second podcast that we're going to do.
SPEAKER_2: Is a podcast where we build TTRPGs.
SPEAKER_1: I have to tell you, I'm never doing another podcast.
SPEAKER_1: I'm sorry to break this to you.
SPEAKER_2: But Clair, we have so much fun on this show.
SPEAKER_1: We do, and it's so much fun.
SPEAKER_1: And also a lot of work.
SPEAKER_1: It is a lot of work.
SPEAKER_1: Which I do enjoy, but...
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: I feel like we've gotten some good suffixes out there.
SPEAKER_1: Really?
SPEAKER_2: I mean, there's also dots.
SPEAKER_1: Maybe that sounded a little judgy.
SPEAKER_2: Really?
SPEAKER_1: Really, Brianna?
SPEAKER_2: I guess we'll do better ones.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, but what about just dot suffix?
SPEAKER_1: Oh, my God, you can do prefix dot suffix.
SPEAKER_2: Prefix dot suffix!
SPEAKER_1: It is just like a grammar website.
SPEAKER_2: Prefix dot suffix, a grammar website.
SPEAKER_2: That's really good.
SPEAKER_2: Dot dot is really good.
SPEAKER_1: It's like, what's your domain name?
SPEAKER_1: And then you just say out loud, dot dot dot, and people are like, are you okay?
SPEAKER_1: Why are you commenting an ellipses out loud?
SPEAKER_2: Oh my god.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, then you just have the prefix of that, which is ellipses dot dot dot dot.
SPEAKER_2: See, these are good suffixes, Clair.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, fine.
SPEAKER_2: Is that good?
SPEAKER_1: Do you want it to be good?
SPEAKER_1: Does it feel good, Brianna?
SPEAKER_2: It feels very good.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, will any and all of these suffixes feel great?
SPEAKER_1: Let's do some fan cravings.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, Clair, I'm not letting you.
SPEAKER_1: It's like mail time, but like, da, Salt Cravings are getting fans.
SPEAKER_2: Welcome to cravings dot salt cravings.
SPEAKER_2: Today, we have a new craving that I'm going to read.
SPEAKER_2: Not sure if this has been submitted before.
SPEAKER_2: It hasn't been, so you're good.
SPEAKER_2: Sometimes I crave podcast intro music.
SPEAKER_2: Part of what got me to catch up with 60 plus episodes of the Adventure Zone was its fantastic intro song.
SPEAKER_2: Have sometimes craved your podcast intro music.
SPEAKER_2: Also, oh, this is a good craving.
SPEAKER_1: So this submitter doesn't have a name.
SPEAKER_1: So what song craver?
SPEAKER_2: Song dot cravings.
SPEAKER_2: This is your name.
SPEAKER_1: Your name is song dot cravings.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, song.
SPEAKER_2: This is a great craving.
SPEAKER_2: I love me some podcast intro music.
SPEAKER_2: The Adventure Zone does have great podcast intro music.
SPEAKER_2: I will props out to them, you know?
SPEAKER_2: There's a lot of really good podcast intro music.
SPEAKER_2: I really like our intro and outro song.
SPEAKER_2: By the way, that is by Clark Powell, who you can find at clarkpowell.bandcamp.com.
SPEAKER_2: If you like that song, they have so many awesome songs.
SPEAKER_2: They've done stuff they've done for games, they've done stuff they've done just in general.
SPEAKER_2: So that's my genuine answer.
SPEAKER_2: How do we help with a podcast's intro music craving?
SPEAKER_1: What are some other podcasts that you crave the music to?
SPEAKER_1: Because I can tell you right now, Sawbones gets me going.
SPEAKER_1: Does it?
SPEAKER_1: I have not listened to Sawbones yet.
SPEAKER_1: It's got a good tempo, you know?
SPEAKER_2: Clair, I'm going to have to break her resolution.
SPEAKER_2: You know it had to happen.
SPEAKER_2: I do have to mention...
SPEAKER_1: You have to bring it up.
SPEAKER_2: Clair and I really wanted to have an episode of this show where we didn't mention Friends of the Table, but I do have to because Friends of the Table has a lot of really, really good music.
SPEAKER_1: Fair.
SPEAKER_1: They all make themself.
SPEAKER_1: I think that's what inspired Griffin to start making his own music.
SPEAKER_2: I think that that...
SPEAKER_1: For people who don't know who Griffin is.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, Jack DeKeat makes the music for Friends of the Table.
SPEAKER_1: Which is also very good.
SPEAKER_2: Which is also very good.
SPEAKER_1: notquitereal.pancamp.com If you just love listening to music.
SPEAKER_2: I would recommend, highly recommend, I mean every song there, but go to the Mary Elder album.
SPEAKER_2: We were just talking about this the other day.
SPEAKER_2: Go listen to the Mary Elder theme.
SPEAKER_2: It's so good.
SPEAKER_1: One thing that I'm curious about is sometimes a podcast intro music has words like Saw Boats is like a pop rock song.
SPEAKER_1: And sometimes it's really emotional like Friends at the Table.
SPEAKER_1: What do you look for in a podcast intro song?
SPEAKER_2: I like a podcast intro song that you can listen to again and again.
SPEAKER_2: I think it helps with the Adventures of Our Friends at the Table.
SPEAKER_2: There is someone introducing something to the music because that's my favorite thing in the entire world is someone doing their intro bit to a song underneath and it matching up.
SPEAKER_2: I love that stuff.
SPEAKER_2: In general, I want it to be something that I can listen to on my own.
SPEAKER_2: Sometimes you just want music.
SPEAKER_2: If it's a music that you can listen to...
SPEAKER_1: Versus if it's not a music.
SPEAKER_1: Hey, idea.
SPEAKER_1: Not music intro.
SPEAKER_2: A non-music intro.
SPEAKER_1: Maybe it's just a bunch of screaming.
SPEAKER_2: I adore obviously our intro song and Clark's work.
SPEAKER_2: It's excellent.
SPEAKER_2: But what if, you know, Salt Cravings just doesn't have an intro song anymore.
SPEAKER_2: Now that we're a serious, real podcast, we can't have this like great song in the intro and outro.
SPEAKER_2: It's too non-serious.
SPEAKER_2: What we need is just 30 seconds of silence.
SPEAKER_1: Wonderful.
SPEAKER_1: Wouldn't you love more of that?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, wouldn't you love to start on every episode with just like an extremely long pause?
SPEAKER_2: Is the episode playing yet?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, well, that's a really good idea because if we take the intro music out, then it can go somewhere else and you can just pop up in the middle.
SPEAKER_1: Every episode, the intro music is in a different location.
SPEAKER_2: Hey, do you want to just play the whole intro song right now?
SPEAKER_1: God, I guess we can.
SPEAKER_2: We can just play it.
SPEAKER_1: So, This Is Happy, this is a working title by Clark Powell.
SPEAKER_2: I hope that that sated your craving.
SPEAKER_2: So now that we've sufficiently helped our audience as, you know, with their craving, would you like to give me your second craving?
SPEAKER_1: Yes.
SPEAKER_1: I haven't GM'd before very often.
SPEAKER_2: Clair, we just viewed a tabletop thing.
SPEAKER_1: Now listen, I've only GM'd once before, and I really want to GM again.
SPEAKER_1: So with these rules that we just made, I have a small scene.
SPEAKER_2: Please explain a little more for me.
SPEAKER_1: So I'd like to use this small idea that we've constructed to use it and now play through the scene that I sort of set up.
SPEAKER_1: And I have some stuff written down.
SPEAKER_1: Obviously you don't know about any of this beforehand, so I have a character for you.
SPEAKER_2: Who's this character?
SPEAKER_1: So the character is the LU-10 NENT unit or lieutenant.
SPEAKER_2: Great, that's so fair.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, Clair, you're so good at this.
SPEAKER_2: So good at names.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, so lieutenant.
SPEAKER_1: Every piece of information in the world goes through you.
SPEAKER_1: We are in the year 10K or 10,000.
SPEAKER_1: And what you've just learned is that Mars is firing nuclear missiles at you.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, that's cool and fun.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, so I'm down with this.
SPEAKER_1: Cool.
SPEAKER_2: So we're going to play through this scene of me getting nuclear missiles fired at me?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, you have six hours.
SPEAKER_1: And so I'm thinking a big action is two hours.
SPEAKER_2: Right.
SPEAKER_1: A medium action is one hour and a small action is 30 minutes.
SPEAKER_1: And I have some dice for you.
SPEAKER_2: So this is a 2D6 model.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: So I've just given you 2D6 and I really like the statistical spread of 2D6.
SPEAKER_1: And so you have six hours.
SPEAKER_1: And just to give you a little bit of background, so you know what's sort of happening is Mars has been previously controlled by five mega corporations and Earth has fought a war since a few thousand years ago.
SPEAKER_1: And they are more about climate control and climate change have been overcome on Earth.
SPEAKER_2: Right.
SPEAKER_1: That's why they lasted to 10,000 BC.
SPEAKER_1: People on Earth with artificial intelligence don't really make many decisions anymore.
SPEAKER_1: This is why you're sort of the decision maker.
SPEAKER_1: And you can contact other world leaders.
SPEAKER_1: I think the first thing that happens, you know these missiles are being fired at you because Mars has gone dark for five minutes.
SPEAKER_1: And this is weird.
SPEAKER_1: All of their networks went dark.
SPEAKER_1: And suddenly, they're back.
SPEAKER_1: And you get all of this information at once.
SPEAKER_1: There's been a coup.
SPEAKER_1: All the corporation leaders are dead.
SPEAKER_1: There is a group of people who are calling themselves the saviors of Mars who are taking over and removing capitalism from Mars.
SPEAKER_2: Cool and cool.
SPEAKER_1: You don't know why these missiles are coming at you.
SPEAKER_1: Nothing in the public record explains this.
SPEAKER_1: But you have six hours.
SPEAKER_1: What would you like to do?
SPEAKER_2: I am going to start by attempting to activate an anti-missile system.
SPEAKER_1: That's fair.
SPEAKER_1: I would say that that is a big action.
SPEAKER_1: And now we never really made a solid choice.
SPEAKER_1: Do you want to roll first or do you want to do a scene first?
SPEAKER_2: I would like to do a scene first.
SPEAKER_1: I guess I will be the human leader of Earth.
SPEAKER_2: Cool.
SPEAKER_2: What's your name?
SPEAKER_1: Commander Stern.
SPEAKER_2: Commander Stern.
SPEAKER_2: This is an incoming transmission from Lieutenant.
SPEAKER_1: Go ahead.
SPEAKER_2: We are receiving missiles, sir, from Mars.
SPEAKER_1: What do you mean missiles?
SPEAKER_2: I mean there are missiles being fired at us from Mars.
SPEAKER_2: There has been a coup.
SPEAKER_2: Downloading all information into Earth systems.
SPEAKER_2: Everything that Clair described earlier happened, and I know this now.
SPEAKER_2: I do not know why the missiles have been fired, but I do think...
SPEAKER_1: Well, then get on it.
SPEAKER_2: Well, yes.
SPEAKER_1: You can't just give us this sort of information and not know.
SPEAKER_2: I think we should set up the anti-missile defense system first.
SPEAKER_1: Of course, of course.
SPEAKER_1: I'm on it.
SPEAKER_2: I'm gonna roll to see if they're on it.
SPEAKER_2: What is Commander Stern's pronouns, by the way?
SPEAKER_1: Stern and Stern.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, great.
SPEAKER_2: Love that.
SPEAKER_2: That's a seven.
SPEAKER_1: Mixed results.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: I know what happens.
SPEAKER_1: You successfully get your anti-missile weapons.
SPEAKER_1: What are they?
SPEAKER_2: So there was once an idea in, I think, the 80s and 90s by using stuff in space to fire lasers to detonate them in the air.
SPEAKER_2: And so I think it is literally just a series of anti-missile, like, lasers that detonate them outside of Earth's atmosphere.
SPEAKER_2: What's the mixed success?
SPEAKER_1: So you get these lasers ready, and you fire them at the missiles, and you hit them.
SPEAKER_1: But they don't explode.
SPEAKER_1: They veer off course, though.
SPEAKER_1: Okay.
SPEAKER_1: You've bought yourself 30 extra minutes.
SPEAKER_1: But you have some more information.
SPEAKER_1: Lasers don't affect these missiles for some reason.
SPEAKER_2: Commander Stern, I have an update.
SPEAKER_1: Great.
SPEAKER_1: I'm really glad that I get to be Commander Stern again.
SPEAKER_1: How do you play incompetent human?
SPEAKER_1: Oh, I'll just do me.
SPEAKER_1: Have you done it?
SPEAKER_1: Is it done?
SPEAKER_1: Are we safe?
SPEAKER_2: Well, I have fired lasers at the missiles and they have not penetrated them.
SPEAKER_1: What do you mean?
SPEAKER_2: They have failed.
SPEAKER_2: We will try to find another solution.
SPEAKER_2: I just wanted to give you an update.
SPEAKER_2: Now I'm going to fix this.
SPEAKER_1: Well, give me an update when you have some success.
SPEAKER_1: And I think he hangs up the phone.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, cool.
SPEAKER_2: Next step is to reach out to Mars and be like, hey, what the fuck?
SPEAKER_1: Okay, cool.
SPEAKER_2: But like in robot speak.
SPEAKER_1: I'd say this is a medium action.
SPEAKER_2: This is Lieutenant Systems of Earth reaching out to any and all members of the governments of Mars.
SPEAKER_1: Who answers?
SPEAKER_2: Should I roll the figure out who answers?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I think you should roll the figure out who answers.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_2: That's a 10.
SPEAKER_1: All right.
SPEAKER_1: I know.
SPEAKER_2: Who answers?
SPEAKER_1: Let me think of a name.
SPEAKER_1: Do you have any good names?
SPEAKER_2: Oh, I always have good names.
SPEAKER_1: The more evil, the better.
SPEAKER_2: The more evil, the better.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, good.
SPEAKER_2: That's a good sign.
SPEAKER_2: How about independent?
SPEAKER_1: All right.
SPEAKER_1: This is Zendi.
SPEAKER_1: What would you like?
SPEAKER_2: Hello, we have received news that there are missiles coming from your planet on their way to us.
SPEAKER_1: Not my planet.
SPEAKER_2: Sorry?
SPEAKER_1: Mars is all of ours now.
SPEAKER_2: Robotics understand collectivism.
SPEAKER_2: It remains that it is the planet of which there is governance.
SPEAKER_2: Could you please?
SPEAKER_1: The governments are dead.
SPEAKER_1: We made sure of that.
SPEAKER_2: However, the fact remains that there are missiles on their way.
SPEAKER_1: You're scared, aren't you?
SPEAKER_2: Of you?
SPEAKER_2: No.
SPEAKER_2: Of missiles?
SPEAKER_2: Yes.
SPEAKER_1: Wonderful.
SPEAKER_1: That's what I like to hear.
SPEAKER_2: For what reason have you sent missiles?
SPEAKER_1: Do you think I'm some sort of evil villain who's going to monologue and tell you about how this coup is just a front?
SPEAKER_1: Listen, they don't even know that it's happened.
SPEAKER_2: Who doesn't?
SPEAKER_1: The leaders of the Saviors.
SPEAKER_1: Why would the Saviors even do this?
SPEAKER_1: That's what everyone's going to be asking themselves.
SPEAKER_1: Why would they do this?
SPEAKER_1: Who did, though?
SPEAKER_1: It had to be the Saviors.
SPEAKER_1: And power will transfer once again, and I will make sure to be there when it needs to transfer to the right hand.
SPEAKER_2: Is this a threat?
SPEAKER_1: This is action.
SPEAKER_1: And the line hangs up.
SPEAKER_2: What did I get from that?
SPEAKER_1: That was a 10.
SPEAKER_1: You've contacted somehow the person who fired the missiles.
SPEAKER_1: The leaders of the coup, they believe themselves to be Saviors because they want to share the resources of Mars with everyone.
SPEAKER_1: They didn't do this.
SPEAKER_1: It wasn't them.
SPEAKER_1: It was this person who does align themselves with the Saviors, but is a spy.
SPEAKER_1: These missiles have existed on Mars for at least a hundred or so years.
SPEAKER_1: And it was from the gates of one particular company.
SPEAKER_2: I would like to try and figure out what company that is.
SPEAKER_1: I don't think that's hard.
SPEAKER_1: I think that's a small action.
SPEAKER_2: That's a three.
SPEAKER_2: I don't think I know.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, no, you do know.
SPEAKER_1: You're really, really certain.
SPEAKER_1: This shouldn't be a hard piece of information.
SPEAKER_1: It is New Hope, Inc.
SPEAKER_2: I would like...
SPEAKER_2: So what's the bad thing?
SPEAKER_2: Oh, is there no bad...
SPEAKER_1: You don't have any more information.
SPEAKER_1: You don't know why they did this or anything.
SPEAKER_2: That's fine.
SPEAKER_2: I don't need to know that.
SPEAKER_1: Okay.
SPEAKER_2: I need to hack the missiles.
SPEAKER_2: And I'd like to do that with my now knowledge of who sent them and therefore understanding probably of their technology.
SPEAKER_1: It's a big action.
SPEAKER_2: But I'm hacking the missiles.
SPEAKER_1: Take a roll.
SPEAKER_1: Eight.
SPEAKER_2: Do we want to do a scene of lieutenant talking, quote unquote, to the missiles?
SPEAKER_2: Let's do that.
SPEAKER_2: Hello.
SPEAKER_2: This is Lieutenant.
SPEAKER_1: This is Unit K5.
SPEAKER_2: Unit K5.
SPEAKER_2: I would like you to change your course to hit the other missile.
SPEAKER_1: Please present authorization.
SPEAKER_2: And I'm going to...
SPEAKER_1: I think you present that you are in charge of Earth.
SPEAKER_1: You speak for Earth.
SPEAKER_1: That is your authorization.
SPEAKER_1: And so I think they'll listen to what you have to say, but you have to convince them.
SPEAKER_2: For what reason have you been sent to Earth?
SPEAKER_1: To complete my goal.
SPEAKER_1: My goal is to hit Earth.
SPEAKER_1: Excellent.
SPEAKER_2: In order to meet that goal, the best trajectory is to fly this way.
SPEAKER_2: I point out a trajectory that is one missile flying into another.
SPEAKER_1: This is a hard one.
SPEAKER_1: I'm going to need a second roll.
SPEAKER_1: Just 1d6.
SPEAKER_1: Oh lord.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, 1d6.
SPEAKER_1: That's a three.
SPEAKER_1: You convince one of them.
SPEAKER_2: Okay.
SPEAKER_1: And you destroy two rockets.
SPEAKER_1: There were three.
SPEAKER_1: But you still have one more missile, and you still have one hour left.
SPEAKER_1: Excellent.
SPEAKER_2: Where is Lieutenant on the Earth?
SPEAKER_1: Everywhere.
SPEAKER_1: You know everything.
SPEAKER_1: You can be anywhere or everywhere.
SPEAKER_1: Cool.
SPEAKER_2: I think Lieutenant wants to short out the missile.
SPEAKER_2: Basically Lieutenant is going to like in some way, shape or form sacrifice himself in order to short out the rocket.
SPEAKER_1: That's a three.
SPEAKER_2: So then everyone dies.
SPEAKER_2: And that's how the game is.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: Okay.
SPEAKER_1: What does it look like?
SPEAKER_1: What did you try to do?
SPEAKER_2: I tried to make it like circle in the air for a bit because it didn't know where it was supposed to go.
SPEAKER_1: I think you right at its course.
SPEAKER_1: You brought it back from the laser.
SPEAKER_1: I think you ran it and then it was like, oh, I have to recalibrate.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, there we go.
SPEAKER_1: That's where I'm supposed to be.
SPEAKER_1: And so it hits the earth and you lose about 60% of yourself immediately.
SPEAKER_2: Right.
SPEAKER_1: And you see a giant crater emerge into the earth.
SPEAKER_2: Right.
SPEAKER_1: Whether it is from fallout or from the explosion, earth is done.
SPEAKER_2: Welcome to Salt Cravings, a comedy podcast.
SPEAKER_1: Do you want to give me your last craving?
SPEAKER_2: So Clair, how much do you remember about Frankenstein?
SPEAKER_1: About as much as I wrote a paper on it for.
SPEAKER_1: That's about it.
SPEAKER_1: Perfect.
SPEAKER_2: I do not agree with most of the movie adaptations of Frankenstein.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, fair.
SPEAKER_1: I thought you were just going to be like, I don't agree with Frankenstein.
SPEAKER_1: And I was going to be like, I'm pretty sure you're lying.
SPEAKER_2: This is the thing.
SPEAKER_2: I love the book Frankenstein and no movie adaptation of Frankenstein has ever done it.
SPEAKER_2: Has ever done it.
SPEAKER_2: And what I want is for a movie adaptation to do it.
SPEAKER_2: And I want it to be good because the actual story of Frankenstein is cool as hell and would have so much potential as a movie.
SPEAKER_2: And so, Clair, we need to make this movie.
SPEAKER_1: Who are we casting?
SPEAKER_2: Here's how the movie starts.
SPEAKER_1: I wish I knew actors.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, like, well, here's a moment to think about.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, so here's the people we need to cast for.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, here's the characters.
SPEAKER_1: Dr.
SPEAKER_1: Frankenstein, the monster.
SPEAKER_2: He's not a doctor.
SPEAKER_1: Dr.
SPEAKER_1: Frankenstein's cousin.
SPEAKER_2: Frankenstein is not a doctor, but we do need to cast for him, the monster.
SPEAKER_1: Calls himself a doctor, doesn't he?
SPEAKER_2: The creature?
SPEAKER_2: Not in the book.
SPEAKER_1: Does he not?
SPEAKER_2: He does not.
SPEAKER_2: He's an undergrad.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, yeah, he is.
SPEAKER_2: He drops out.
SPEAKER_1: God, I love him.
SPEAKER_2: He sucks.
SPEAKER_2: The creature, we need...
SPEAKER_1: We need the creature's girlfriend that he almost makes.
SPEAKER_2: That character doesn't get made, though.
SPEAKER_1: Doesn't he bake her, like, halfway and then, like, is like, no, I will not fold to your grasp?
SPEAKER_2: He does.
SPEAKER_2: But that's not a...
SPEAKER_2: She's not a person.
SPEAKER_1: I just want a shot of her on the table, you know.
SPEAKER_2: Fair, fair, fair, fair.
SPEAKER_2: We can cast that.
SPEAKER_2: I have an idea.
SPEAKER_2: But there's Frankenstein's, like, fiance.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: There's Captain Walton, the guy on the boat.
SPEAKER_2: Those are, like, the main characters.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, there's Frankenstein's dad and, like, siblings.
SPEAKER_1: And there's...
SPEAKER_1: I mean, the monster does stay with someone.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, yeah, the old blind man and his kids.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Who he doesn't stay with, but does learn from.
SPEAKER_1: Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, so the movie opens on the sea, of course.
SPEAKER_2: It opens with Captain Walton.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: On the sea, him writing letters to someone, to his sister back home about how he's gonna find the Northwest Passage and be a cool explorer dude and stuff like that.
SPEAKER_2: And here's what I want you to envision for Captain Walton.
SPEAKER_2: He's a pathetic twink.
SPEAKER_2: He's just, like, a really pathetic man.
SPEAKER_2: And I really imagine him as just, like, very twinkie.
SPEAKER_1: You totally changed my image of him, because I always imaged him as, like, the, like, rustic, like, I kind of just wanted to cast Austin Walker as, like, the pattern.
SPEAKER_2: I'm gonna die.
SPEAKER_2: Um, listen, my image of Captain Walton has always been of just, like, someone who wants so desperately to be cool and just isn't, and, like, wants so desperately to be, like, interesting and exciting, but is just really pathetic and doesn't have a backbone.
SPEAKER_1: What is his name?
SPEAKER_1: Why, I have the actor in my brain.
SPEAKER_1: He looks sad in every film ever.
SPEAKER_1: He played Scott Pilgrim.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, you mean Michael Cera?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: Can we have Michael Cera as the sailor?
SPEAKER_2: He has to have a shitty half mustache.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, he does, doesn't he?
SPEAKER_2: He just doesn't have a really shitty-
SPEAKER_2: And he has to just, like, be Michael Cera.
SPEAKER_1: Michael Cera, just like-
SPEAKER_2: Michael Cera in a sailor's hat, yeah.
SPEAKER_2: And that's who-
SPEAKER_1: And that's the character.
SPEAKER_2: And that's the character, and that's extremely good.
SPEAKER_2: So it opens there.
SPEAKER_2: So that's where it opens.
SPEAKER_2: And it shows him getting his crew, blah, blah, blah, some extras, whatever.
SPEAKER_2: He is going along, and he sees something out in the distance, because that's how Frankenstein goes, seeing this gigantic man out in the distance.
SPEAKER_2: Next that happens is he finds Frankenstein half dead, like, crawling out of the boat and being like, are you going that way?
SPEAKER_2: And they're like, yes.
SPEAKER_2: And he's like, I'll come with then.
SPEAKER_1: Let me tag along, please.
SPEAKER_2: No, basically, because basically he looks like he's gonna die.
SPEAKER_2: And they're like, oh my God, do you need help?
SPEAKER_1: Spoiler, he does.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, he does.
SPEAKER_2: He looks like he's gonna like completely just perish then.
SPEAKER_2: So they're like, oh my God, do you need help?
SPEAKER_2: And he's like, maybe, what direction are you going?
SPEAKER_1: Towards the ice.
SPEAKER_2: Towards the ice.
SPEAKER_2: And he goes, excellent.
SPEAKER_2: Then yes, I'll come on and you can help.
SPEAKER_2: So who is Frankenstein?
SPEAKER_2: Cause the first vision of him is him as like an older, like disheveled, sad, disgusting man.
SPEAKER_2: And then you will flash back to him as a young man, 18 or whatever.
SPEAKER_1: I really wanted to be Will Arnett.
SPEAKER_2: This is such a, okay.
SPEAKER_2: Wait, okay.
SPEAKER_2: I think it has to be a young actor that we age up.
SPEAKER_1: That's fair.
SPEAKER_2: Because he is 18, he's 20 when he makes The Creature, which is so good.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know any like teen actors.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, who's our Disney change?
SPEAKER_1: The person who plays Spider-Man, the new kid.
SPEAKER_1: What is his name?
SPEAKER_2: Tom Holland.
SPEAKER_1: Tom Holland, yes.
SPEAKER_1: Tom Holland as Frankenstein is the best casting.
SPEAKER_2: Oh my God, we got Frankenstein as.
SPEAKER_1: Because he's so wholesome and we get to make him the worst.
SPEAKER_2: He's the worst.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, this is so good.
SPEAKER_2: Clair, this is the perfect decision.
SPEAKER_2: This is so good.
SPEAKER_1: Can we cast Will Arnett as the older version of Frankenstein?
SPEAKER_2: Sure.
SPEAKER_2: Does Will Arnett look like Tom Holland?
SPEAKER_1: He does now with enough prosthetics.
SPEAKER_2: Good point.
SPEAKER_2: So we'll have momentary flashbacks to Frankenstein telling the story to Walton.
SPEAKER_1: So who's his fiance?
SPEAKER_2: I mean, she has to be the same age.
SPEAKER_1: Here on Salt Cravings, we fail to know actors.
SPEAKER_2: Can we get Keira Knightley?
SPEAKER_2: No, Keira Knightley is too old.
SPEAKER_2: I'm not thinking right.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, see, this is the thing.
SPEAKER_1: I know very few actors first and foremost.
SPEAKER_1: Most of the actors I know are at least in their 30s.
SPEAKER_1: Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_2: I hate this article that I found.
SPEAKER_2: It says, beautiful young actresses under 30.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, I'm gonna barf, but it might prove useful.
SPEAKER_1: Why does she have to be beautiful?
SPEAKER_2: No, I just Googled young actresses.
SPEAKER_2: And this is what came up, because that's the way our world works.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, we know the...
SPEAKER_2: Can we get Sophie Turner?
SPEAKER_2: She's in Game of Thrones.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, 100%.
SPEAKER_2: Cool, it's Sophie Turner.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, so we're gonna get Stanza to play the fiancee.
SPEAKER_2: You know, and they have their whole thing going on in the, you know, there's that whole thing.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, we have to have the mom who dies.
SPEAKER_2: Who's the mom who dies?
SPEAKER_1: I don't even know what the mom was in the story.
SPEAKER_2: Her whole character is like, you know, there's a whole backstory on it, but the main thing is like, she dies right before he's supposed to go off to college.
SPEAKER_2: It delays him and also eventually provides the reason why he wants to be able to create life, to like resurrect his dead mother, because he's weird and creepy.
SPEAKER_2: Who's our older, excellent actress?
SPEAKER_2: Who's our mom?
SPEAKER_2: Clair, who's the mom?
SPEAKER_2: Betty White.
SPEAKER_2: That's really old.
SPEAKER_2: That's maybe too old for a mom.
SPEAKER_2: Betty White is immortal.
SPEAKER_1: She could be any age.
SPEAKER_2: Sure, Betty White is the mom.
SPEAKER_1: Betty White is the mom.
SPEAKER_2: Perfect.
SPEAKER_2: And this brings us, oh, Frankenstein's best friend.
SPEAKER_2: Henry.
SPEAKER_1: Is that his name?
SPEAKER_2: His name's Henry.
SPEAKER_1: Oh my Lord.
SPEAKER_2: He's just gotta be really fresh faced, looks really sweet.
SPEAKER_1: Still on Austin Walker.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, fine, let's have Austin Walker.
SPEAKER_2: Sure, he's not an actor, but it's fine.
SPEAKER_1: This is his debut role.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, okay, sure, let's have Austin Walker.
SPEAKER_2: I don't think I can watch Austin Walker get killed.
SPEAKER_1: Wait, isn't his best friend the, oh right, he does kill his best friend, does he?
SPEAKER_2: He does.
SPEAKER_1: Oh no.
SPEAKER_2: Who do we want to be this fresh faced, good, happy looking dude who gets killed?
SPEAKER_1: Can we make it Austin Walker and then retcon that?
SPEAKER_2: And everyone will-
SPEAKER_2: No, let's just make it Austin, no, no, if it's Austin Walker, like if we're doing it, we have to do it right, Clair.
SPEAKER_2: We're not changing Mary Shelley's perfect vision.
SPEAKER_2: I'm a Mary Shelley stan, and we will not change this.
SPEAKER_1: God, sorry to Austin Walker, I just want to see you so badly act.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, does anyone in the movie survive except the monster?
SPEAKER_2: The monster dies too.
SPEAKER_1: Oh yeah, does anyone?
SPEAKER_2: Everyone in this movie dies.
SPEAKER_1: Right, okay, great, cool.
SPEAKER_2: Who is the creature?
SPEAKER_2: Oh, also there's like the professors at the school, but like, so we can do some professor, but one of them has got to be David Tennant.
SPEAKER_2: I've decided.
SPEAKER_1: Terry Crews.
SPEAKER_2: Perfect, great, ideal.
SPEAKER_2: So who's the creature?
SPEAKER_2: Okay, so let me give you a description of the creature, and then we can decide.
SPEAKER_2: The creature is like seven feet tall.
SPEAKER_2: And the other thing is that the creature is originally described with like almost translucent skin.
SPEAKER_1: Well, let me just look up the actors I know who have translucent skin.
SPEAKER_2: Which like, yeah, yeah, no fair, but also like has long flowing black hair.
SPEAKER_2: That's something that they never do in Frankenstein.
SPEAKER_2: That is true.
SPEAKER_2: It's just like he has super like long flowing hair.
SPEAKER_2: Like the point of the creature, Frankenstein originally made him to be beautiful, but like now looks at him and thinks he looks grotesque and horrifying.
SPEAKER_2: It could be fun to do like a really just like pretty looking man who just like Frankenstein is just like, this is horrifying.
SPEAKER_1: Who is Tom Holland afraid of?
SPEAKER_1: Can it just be like Tony Stark?
SPEAKER_2: Robert Downey Jr.
SPEAKER_2: is our monster.
SPEAKER_2: I'm fine to put him in the...
SPEAKER_2: Oh, no, but I can't be sympathetic to him.
SPEAKER_2: This is the issue.
SPEAKER_2: We need someone, you're right, we do need someone we can be sympathetic to.
SPEAKER_2: I'm now just thinking about comedic interpretations of Frankenstein.
SPEAKER_2: Great, all right, so we've returned back to the other movie adaptations.
SPEAKER_2: No, I'm just thinking about like, let's take it, let's get Jack Black as Frank, as the monster, as the creature.
SPEAKER_2: Jack Black was flowing black hair and just like...
SPEAKER_1: There is a reference to High School Rock or...
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, High School Rock.
SPEAKER_2: Great, Jack Black is our creature.
SPEAKER_2: Can we agree on this?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, we can agree on this.
SPEAKER_2: This is perfect.
SPEAKER_2: But I just need to...
SPEAKER_1: Who's the monster that almost gets made?
SPEAKER_1: Also important.
SPEAKER_1: Who is she?
SPEAKER_2: I was thinking was it's Sophie Turner.
SPEAKER_1: It is...
SPEAKER_1: Oh my God, that's too good though.
SPEAKER_1: Right?
SPEAKER_2: Isn't it good?
SPEAKER_1: It's Sophie Turner.
SPEAKER_2: It's Sophie Turner, but she looks slightly off and different.
SPEAKER_1: It is also Sophie Turner.
SPEAKER_2: But like when Frankenstein was like, Oh, what can I create that is like beautiful?
SPEAKER_2: He went for like his pheonxy.
SPEAKER_1: Oh my God, that's creepy.
SPEAKER_1: I love it.
SPEAKER_2: Isn't it disgusting?
SPEAKER_2: That is the whole thing.
SPEAKER_1: That's Frankenstein.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, you know, there's a really good.
SPEAKER_1: He has no boundaries.
SPEAKER_1: He's the guy who's like, I don't really have any boundaries.
SPEAKER_2: God, he literally.
SPEAKER_2: OK, Clair, let me refer you to Susan Stryker's piece on Frankenstein as a metaphor for trans womanhood.
SPEAKER_2: And like, OK, it's really good.
SPEAKER_2: It's really good.
SPEAKER_2: I think this is a great movie.
SPEAKER_2: I think this is an excellent.
SPEAKER_1: I'm really I'm really ready to have this as our breakout movie that we're directing.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, we're just calling it.
SPEAKER_1: OK, we're calling it Frankenstein, but I think we Frankenstein, but we did it better.
SPEAKER_2: No, it's got to be better or Mary Shelley's Frankenstein for real this time, because there's already a Mary Shelley's Frankenstein that is nothing like Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.
SPEAKER_1: Frankenstein, the one Mary Shelley would watch.
SPEAKER_2: Or it's just Frankenstein or the modern Prometheus, which is the actual title of Frankenstein.
SPEAKER_1: All right, there we go.
SPEAKER_1: We did it.
SPEAKER_2: But also Frankenstein, but we did it better is a great title.
SPEAKER_2: So, Clair, as we come to the end of this episode, I'm forced to ask again about structure and about how this is a real podcast now.
SPEAKER_2: So we need a real outro.
SPEAKER_1: What are we doing?
SPEAKER_2: What's our real outro from now on?
SPEAKER_1: We can just be like, yabba dabba doo.
SPEAKER_2: I think someone took that.
SPEAKER_2: I think someone used that.
SPEAKER_1: I'm really glad because I didn't want to do it.
SPEAKER_2: Maybe we just go into...
SPEAKER_1: You just start counting down.
SPEAKER_2: We just start...
SPEAKER_2: Oh, I like this because we haven't...
SPEAKER_2: The thing that we could do.
SPEAKER_2: One person does all the outro things like saying stuff like...
SPEAKER_1: You can find Salt Cravings on social media.
SPEAKER_1: Salt Cravings on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, and stuff like, please submit your cravings to submissions at saltcravings.com.
SPEAKER_1: Or give us a review on iTunes or Google Play.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, and they can do all that.
SPEAKER_2: One person can do all of that stuff, and the other person can count down during...
SPEAKER_1: Like, how so?
SPEAKER_1: Do you want to give me an example?
SPEAKER_2: Sure.
SPEAKER_2: So I'm going to count down.
SPEAKER_2: 50, 48, 47, 46, 45.
SPEAKER_2: Clair, you have to do it.
SPEAKER_1: 44, 43.
SPEAKER_2: No, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_2: Clair, you're misunderstanding.