SPEAKER_1: Hello, and welcome back to Gamercon, the podcast with me, Clair.
SPEAKER_2: And me, Brianna.
SPEAKER_1: This is our podcast where we talk about and review games.
SPEAKER_1: This week, we're talking about our predictions for E3.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, it's super exciting.
SPEAKER_2: E3 is coming up.
SPEAKER_2: It'll be up with, I think, about a week after, the week of this episode dropping.
SPEAKER_2: So we're all really excited to get in and review and predict some upcoming games.
SPEAKER_2: But I do also want to say, there's some recent video game movie that came out as well.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Called Detective Pikachu.
SPEAKER_1: That is beautiful.
SPEAKER_2: That was a beautiful and wonderful and amazing film.
SPEAKER_1: It's a piece of art.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, and since we talk about this on the show every week, the show Gamercon, Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: We talk about it on the show every week.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, we already reviewed Detective Pikachu last week.
SPEAKER_2: We already reviewed Detective Pikachu last week.
SPEAKER_2: I just want to remind everyone that it is a great movie that is extremely fun.
SPEAKER_1: There, it's really, it's really interesting that there actually are no plot holes whatsoever.
SPEAKER_1: It actually is, it redefined the movie genre as the most tightly written plot ever to exist ever.
SPEAKER_2: It's a perfect film.
SPEAKER_1: Ever since Oedipus, the first tightly written plot.
SPEAKER_2: Truly the citizen Kane of our generation.
SPEAKER_2: It's a fun movie.
SPEAKER_2: Like the real genuine answer of how is Detective Pikachu is it's a really good fun time.
SPEAKER_1: Which is the conclusion we came to last week.
SPEAKER_2: Which was the conclusion we came to last week.
SPEAKER_2: But this week, we're talking upcoming games, E3 2019.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, and this year, what we decided to do, just like unlike our previous E3 episodes.
SPEAKER_2: Because we always do a different thing every single year.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, so this year, we put all the previous E3s into an artificial intelligence, and we just asked the artificial intelligence to tell us what was going to come at E3.
SPEAKER_1: And surprisingly, it's just perfectly predicted.
SPEAKER_2: It's some brilliant predictions.
SPEAKER_2: I think we should also maybe stop and explain what E3 is for those who are not...
SPEAKER_2: I don't know why non-gamers are listening to this gaming podcast, but we should say...
SPEAKER_1: So E3 is when you have a quarter of a dozen of an egg cart.
SPEAKER_1: It's only three eggs.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, it's three eggs.
SPEAKER_2: It's also, I think, called the entertainment some other E expo.
SPEAKER_2: Electronic Entertainment Expo.
SPEAKER_2: It's a video game, it's the video game conference where all them companies go and say, here's what's coming out soon.
SPEAKER_2: And everyone gets really hype about it.
SPEAKER_2: But mostly it's the egg cart thing.
SPEAKER_1: You crack three eggs and you got E3.
SPEAKER_2: Our AI has predicted some really, really good gains for us.
SPEAKER_1: Do you want to tell me what the first thing the AI predicted was?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, sure.
SPEAKER_2: So this one seems pretty obvious.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I fully know what you're about to say.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, it does seem obvious.
SPEAKER_2: It does seem obvious.
SPEAKER_2: When you saw Civilization 6 end up on the Nintendo Switch, you know there is going to be some sort of tie-in and we all know the new Animal Crossing game is coming up.
SPEAKER_2: And so, of course, it was really easy to predict that Animal Crossing Civilization is coming to Switch.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Much like New Leaf, you are the mayor of your city.
SPEAKER_1: It's really weird that they picked Tom Nook to lead Germany.
SPEAKER_2: It's true.
SPEAKER_2: So, well, you're getting ahead of it, Clair.
SPEAKER_2: You're getting ahead of it.
SPEAKER_2: So you're the mayor of your city.
SPEAKER_1: Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_2: And your job is to build up your city.
SPEAKER_1: And become the mayor of everybody's city.
SPEAKER_2: Become the mayor of everybody's city.
SPEAKER_2: And all the different cities are led by Animal Crossing analogs of real world leaders.
SPEAKER_2: As you mentioned, Tom Nook is leading Germany.
SPEAKER_2: Isabelle.
SPEAKER_1: Isabelle leads every other country.
SPEAKER_1: She's an alternate for every country, actually.
SPEAKER_2: Isabelle's an alternate for every country because she can be anywhere, anytime and rock it.
SPEAKER_1: Like, in fact, if you turn off your civilization game and you come back like a week later, you've probably won because Isabelle's taken over.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, exactly, exactly.
SPEAKER_2: It is a real time.
SPEAKER_2: It's much like that game.
SPEAKER_2: There's the game where you play it with your friends and it's over a week and it's a real time.
SPEAKER_2: It's espionage.
SPEAKER_2: I think it's called espionage.
SPEAKER_2: I believe it's called espionage.
SPEAKER_2: And the game is where you and other people get into a game of it and you play for a week.
SPEAKER_2: It's always running and you're just trying to build up all your resources and to try to defeat your friends.
SPEAKER_1: And really, that's my favorite kind of game.
SPEAKER_1: It's a game that I always constantly have to be thinking about even when it's off.
SPEAKER_1: One that I just have to constantly be concerned about.
SPEAKER_2: And that's why Animal Crossing Civilization is so exciting and it's gonna be so, so great.
SPEAKER_1: It's cool that they offered real time as well.
SPEAKER_1: You can just play a game that spans 6,000 years.
SPEAKER_2: It's true.
SPEAKER_2: The other really interesting thing about it, it's giving new roles to many of our beloved Animal Crossing characters.
SPEAKER_2: I think the most surprising one is that Brewster is your general.
SPEAKER_2: That's probably unexpected.
SPEAKER_2: You know, this cooing bird who was mostly known for making coffee in the cafe.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, that's why they're called Brewster.
SPEAKER_2: That's why they're called Brewster.
SPEAKER_1: I definitely know Animal Crossing.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, he will tell your citizens, the other villagers in your city, they are the warriors and they will go out and they will die.
SPEAKER_2: And this is another departure for the series is rather than people leaving town, they die and then you get new people coming in.
SPEAKER_2: But you have to be careful because it's possible that new people coming in are coming in from other cities and may in fact be spies.
SPEAKER_2: So you have to kind of have an iron fist with it.
SPEAKER_2: It's a lot darker than normal civilization.
SPEAKER_1: Just sounds like civilization.
SPEAKER_2: But it's a lot more focused on like, you can see the people who you're trying to like, you know, reveal as like a spy or not, right?
SPEAKER_2: Like you're a certain personality.
SPEAKER_1: When you start to love and cherish your characters and then the game decides to take them away from you.
SPEAKER_2: Well, one of them will be revealed to be a spy and you have to execute them.
SPEAKER_1: Which is really sad.
SPEAKER_1: And when you play the real time 6,000 year is like, maybe you've been married to someone for 20 years and they turn out to be a spy and you have to murder your wife.
SPEAKER_2: See, that's interesting because that's also a new mechanic for Animal Crossing where you can marry people now.
SPEAKER_2: Lots of people have been asking for that for a while.
SPEAKER_2: People really wanted to marry the other Animal Crossing villagers, like really, really bad.
SPEAKER_1: I don't think that's a joke, you know?
SPEAKER_2: Do you know?
SPEAKER_2: It's not.
SPEAKER_2: None of this is a joke, Clair.
SPEAKER_2: This is what the AI is telling us.
SPEAKER_1: It's the AI prediction, right?
SPEAKER_2: It's the AI prediction.
SPEAKER_2: No jokes here, just an AI.
SPEAKER_2: But the game isn't just AI.
SPEAKER_2: See, you can play against your friends.
SPEAKER_2: You build up a town, your friends build up a town, and you can go to war, make trades, kill your friends' villagers.
SPEAKER_2: And it can be heart-wrenching.
SPEAKER_2: I can absolutely see this ruining friendships, for sure, because people are getting...
SPEAKER_1: I mean, that's the goal.
SPEAKER_2: That is the goal.
SPEAKER_2: It's the first antagonistic, explicitly trying to make your friends miserable game.
SPEAKER_1: It's a new direction for Animal Crossing.
SPEAKER_2: And kind of a new direction for civilization.
SPEAKER_2: You really tend to abstract things in civilization, and this is real, and it hurts.
SPEAKER_2: It hurts a lot.
SPEAKER_2: And that's what games should be doing, I think.
SPEAKER_1: They should hurt.
SPEAKER_2: More games should make you feel bad.
SPEAKER_2: More games should make you miserable.
SPEAKER_1: Once you feel miserable, then you can truly say that you are the most depressed.
SPEAKER_2: Just like all gamers are.
SPEAKER_2: Is there anything else that you noticed from the AI prediction about Animal Crossing civilization?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, so I think the coolest feature that they brought in was visiting each other's towns.
SPEAKER_1: So while you can send spies over, you can also go shopping in your friends' towns, get their fashion, give them money, and it actually gets them real money.
SPEAKER_1: So it is fun that this game is like a real e-finance game.
SPEAKER_2: That's interesting.
SPEAKER_2: It sort of takes that Eve Online direction as well.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, it is based and modeled after Eve Online, a highly successful and praised game.
SPEAKER_2: And that gives you meaningful benefits in the game as well, right?
SPEAKER_1: Which you can derive personal meaningful benefits from.
SPEAKER_2: You pay and you buy this culture, and that adds up to your culture.
SPEAKER_2: Now you're paying real money, but I think that's a really cool new direction for microtransactions, because you're not paying it to the game developer.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Neither...
SPEAKER_1: You're paying your friends.
SPEAKER_1: This is socialism.
SPEAKER_2: This is socialism.
SPEAKER_2: And that's why that's the only option you have in terms of what government style you want.
SPEAKER_2: You don't need the authoritarianism.
SPEAKER_2: You don't need the democracy.
SPEAKER_2: All you need is communism.
SPEAKER_2: And that's the tagline.
SPEAKER_2: Civilization, animal crossing, all you need is communism.
SPEAKER_1: It's my favorite game title.
SPEAKER_2: It's a long one, but I think it's gonna do great things.
SPEAKER_2: Clair, do you wanna tell us about another prediction that the AI is making?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: So the next prediction that the AI says here, the GameCube Mini.
SPEAKER_1: And it is bite-sized and they are gummies.
SPEAKER_1: And so you do just eat the GameCube Mini and then you just see the games in your brain.
SPEAKER_2: I was a little confused by this prediction.
SPEAKER_2: So it's the GameCube Mini, you eat the GameCube.
SPEAKER_2: And you see the games.
SPEAKER_2: Are you able to interact with them?
SPEAKER_1: Of course, that's the perk of the GameCube Mini.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, so it's a really advanced portable system.
SPEAKER_2: It's not even a handheld, it's a brain health.
SPEAKER_1: Exactly, yeah, it's the next system.
SPEAKER_2: Does it have all the GameCube games?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, it also has Game Boy games as a special DLC, but that's a suppository.
SPEAKER_2: Can you explain on the podcast that there's a third person in the room?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, so we have a friend here.
SPEAKER_1: You might hear some background laughter.
SPEAKER_2: So just like E3, there's an audience.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, we always have an audience on GameCon, the name of our gaming con.
SPEAKER_2: The podcast that we do every week.
SPEAKER_2: The thing that's interesting about that, it's kind of a one-time thing and you just kind of have it.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, I buy most of my consoles one time.
SPEAKER_1: What about you?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I buy most of them.
SPEAKER_2: My thing is you take it and it's just like inside you now.
SPEAKER_2: It's there forever.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, it was Nintendo's way of getting around and sharing games with your friends because you know Nintendo hates when you share games with your friends.
SPEAKER_2: It's true.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, they're going to make so much money off this console that automatically gives you every game for that console.
SPEAKER_2: How much is the...
SPEAKER_1: Well, you're forgetting about the new games.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, right.
SPEAKER_2: They're releasing new GameCube games.
SPEAKER_1: Well, they're releasing new GameCube mini games.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, they're different.
SPEAKER_1: So we've gotten a question from the audience about system updates.
SPEAKER_1: And I do just want to clarify that system updates are just a glass of milk.
SPEAKER_2: It's any glass of milk.
SPEAKER_1: So if you do want to...
SPEAKER_2: There's a reaction chemically that causes the system to update.
SPEAKER_1: The GameCube mini does respond to lactose, which was a problem when lactose intolerant people were eating the GameCube mini.
SPEAKER_2: But they came up with a solution to that.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, it is Nintendo branded lactose free milk.
SPEAKER_1: It's the only lactose free milk that works, though.
SPEAKER_2: It's gamer milk.
SPEAKER_1: It's gamer milk.
SPEAKER_2: And the great thing about gamer milk is it's so cheap.
SPEAKER_2: It's such cheap.
SPEAKER_2: It's only $9.99 per glass a month.
SPEAKER_1: It is a subscription model.
SPEAKER_2: Nintendo milk per glass per month.
SPEAKER_1: It's monthly intake latency connection with a K.
SPEAKER_2: The other thing that seems really interesting about this product, I am just trying to read this, is it seems like you play it with your mind.
SPEAKER_1: And your tongue.
SPEAKER_2: And your tongue.
SPEAKER_2: How does this, how do you think that this works?
SPEAKER_1: Well, your mind is made of electricity.
SPEAKER_1: As we all know, by science, the brain is just an electric.
SPEAKER_1: That's the end.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, so what do you think the UI is like?
SPEAKER_1: The UI is actually individual to every user experience because it is just your brain.
SPEAKER_2: So it's like, so it comes in the form of thoughts.
SPEAKER_2: So you think about the UI and then there's the UI.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, so every user has their favorite UI.
SPEAKER_1: It's really fully customizable.
SPEAKER_2: I'm wondering how easy it's going to be, if it's going to take some work to really get into the mindset of controller.
SPEAKER_2: I'm worried that at first you're going to have people being like, UI, UI, UI, UI, just trying to like make them think about bringing up the UI.
SPEAKER_2: I want to play Mario, Mario, Super Mario GameCube.
SPEAKER_2: This is a new GameCube mini game.
SPEAKER_2: Super Mario GameCube, please.
SPEAKER_2: I want to play Super Mario GameCube.
SPEAKER_2: And you just have them kind of saying it because like much like casting spells in something like Harry Potter, it's very hard to cast them without saying them.
SPEAKER_2: And so it's going to take some work, I think, to non-verbally play the GameCube mini.
SPEAKER_1: I think that a lot of people will find that the GameCube mini sort of guides the user along the path.
SPEAKER_1: It's sort of like, it gives you thoughts to think.
SPEAKER_2: So, okay, well, it sounds-
SPEAKER_1: Now I understand.
SPEAKER_1: Now I know it does sound like there might be an ethical dilemma.
SPEAKER_2: I am concerned about Nintendo potentially controlling my mind.
SPEAKER_1: Well, no, it's not mind control.
SPEAKER_1: It's just suggestive advertisement.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, suggestive.
SPEAKER_2: See, that's totally fine.
SPEAKER_2: If it's just advertisement, then that's fine.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, like, I didn't want Nintendo to control me because of the secret dark purposes Nintendo has, but if it's just a capitalism thing, that's totally fine.
SPEAKER_2: That's totally fine, yeah.
SPEAKER_2: I don't feel like they would ever go against their ethical...
SPEAKER_1: I mean, you know Nintendo's brand.
SPEAKER_1: It's the oo-woo gaming.
SPEAKER_2: Nintendo, the oo-woo of gaming.
SPEAKER_1: Soft Game Boy.
SPEAKER_1: They are releasing the Soft Game Boy too.
SPEAKER_2: Now, is that related to the Suppository Game Boy or...
SPEAKER_2: It's a very soft...
SPEAKER_2: It's just kind of a cottony cloud that you put the Suppository in and just sort of...
SPEAKER_2: And then you play Game Boy with your ass.
SPEAKER_2: Much like, I mean, it's also with your thoughts, but like how the Mini uses the tongue and thoughts, here it uses the ass and thoughts.
SPEAKER_2: Fun fact, there's a way to use both at the same time.
SPEAKER_2: Eat ass, play GameCube Mini and the soft Game Boy at the same time.
SPEAKER_1: This message is sponsored by Nintendo.
SPEAKER_2: Wow, that was weird.
SPEAKER_2: I didn't think that I said that.
SPEAKER_2: I felt, I feel like I may have just been taken over by Nintendo for a second.
SPEAKER_2: I'm glad I ate the GameCube Mini.
SPEAKER_2: We have another question from the audience.
SPEAKER_2: So the question is about the distinction between projecting thoughts into someone's brain and mind control and concerns of security, which I think is gonna be a really common question that Nintendo is gonna get at their conference.
SPEAKER_2: And I think we can decidedly say that it's totally fine because we trust Nintendo, we trust companies to not overstep their bounds.
SPEAKER_1: Companies know what boundaries are and companies respect boundaries.
SPEAKER_2: We really like companies here.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, companies are your friend.
SPEAKER_2: Companies are your friend.
SPEAKER_2: That's what E3 is all about.
SPEAKER_1: It's about bridging the link between the customer and the company.
SPEAKER_1: It's about making friendships, lasting friendships.
SPEAKER_2: Friendships exclusively between customer and company.
SPEAKER_2: And see, this is really interesting because as we all know, Sony is not in E3 this year.
SPEAKER_2: They decided to not do E3.
SPEAKER_2: They are not doing it anymore.
SPEAKER_2: And that's because they didn't want to fit the ethos of building friendship between the customer and the company.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_2: Because Sony is releasing a completely new IP.
SPEAKER_2: And it's on the AI.
SPEAKER_2: It's right here on the AI, our physical AI that's in the room with us.
SPEAKER_1: It's a tape recording.
SPEAKER_1: We just press play.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, and right here, it says, Anti-Gamer.
SPEAKER_2: Which, not Anti-Chamber, which is a game that exists, and I've heard is very excellent.
SPEAKER_2: It's Anti-Gamer.
SPEAKER_1: Do you want to tell me more about Anti-Gamer?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, so it seems that Anti-Gamer is a game where it tailors the experience to the user, depending on how much of a gamer they are.
SPEAKER_2: And the more of a gamer they are, the worse the experience of the game is.
SPEAKER_2: If you've never played a video game before, it's fun, it's easy, it's a great time.
SPEAKER_2: There's a really good story, really interesting visuals, and it's one of the best things that you'll ever play.
SPEAKER_2: If you are deemed to be a gamer, it's miserable.
SPEAKER_2: It's not even like, oh, it's hard.
SPEAKER_2: No, it's not fair.
SPEAKER_2: It makes you feel bad to play it, which means gamers are gonna love it.
SPEAKER_2: Because gamers love to feel bad and be miserable about the things that they like, right?
SPEAKER_2: They really love games that make them feel bad because it makes them feel superior for playing them.
SPEAKER_2: And so it's really a brilliant concept here to make it so that any and all gamers feel bad while playing this game.
SPEAKER_2: It's a really interesting list of ways that they're using to determine who is a gamer and how much someone is a gamer.
SPEAKER_2: The first determinant is, of course, how many games you have in your Steam library.
SPEAKER_2: If you don't have Steam, even if you play on consoles all the time, you're not a gamer.
SPEAKER_2: If you play on Origins, not a gamer.
SPEAKER_2: It's just Steam, because that's what all gamers use.
SPEAKER_2: Don't you know?
SPEAKER_2: They have a monopoly on gamers.
SPEAKER_2: And so how many games you have on Steam is the first determinant.
SPEAKER_2: Is there another determinant that you're able to see?
SPEAKER_1: So they do actually check your credit card.
SPEAKER_1: And so it depends how much you go to Walmart.
SPEAKER_2: Yep, it does depend how much you go to Walmart.
SPEAKER_1: Some audience suggested metrics.
SPEAKER_2: What is your favorite energy drink?
SPEAKER_2: It has to be Monster.
SPEAKER_1: If you drink Red Bull, you're not a gamer.
SPEAKER_2: That's true.
SPEAKER_2: Now with the Walmart one, just want to pop back to that.
SPEAKER_2: Is it that if you go to Walmart a lot, does that mean you are a gamer or aren't a gamer?
SPEAKER_1: Well, both.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, is there like, it's a even and odd thing?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_1: If you go to Walmart an even amount of times, you're a gamer.
SPEAKER_1: And if you go to Walmart an odd amount of times, you're not a gamer.
SPEAKER_2: It's true.
SPEAKER_2: And that is the determinant.
SPEAKER_2: There's another really important determinant.
SPEAKER_2: They check your Twitter account and see how many people you've called slurs on Twitter.
SPEAKER_2: It's particularly if you're yelling at a couple of specific women on Twitter.
SPEAKER_2: Anyone who's ever been targeted by Gamergate, if you yell slurs at them, you're a gamer.
SPEAKER_2: Because that's what being a gamer is.
SPEAKER_2: It's hating women and minorities.
SPEAKER_2: It's a really interesting algorithm.
SPEAKER_2: There's also this really interesting question of, are you a real gamer or a fake gamer?
SPEAKER_1: Now, a real gamer will never say that they are a real gamer.
SPEAKER_1: It's sort of like the riddle that the Sphinx gives you.
SPEAKER_2: Right.
SPEAKER_2: Which riddle is that one?
SPEAKER_2: Are you a gamer or are you not a gamer?
SPEAKER_1: The legendary riddle that the Sphinx does ask you is, are you a gamer?
SPEAKER_2: And if you say yes, the Sphinx kills you instantly on the spot.
SPEAKER_2: And if you say no, the Sphinx goes, oh, thank God and lets you pass.
SPEAKER_2: But gamers don't talk about being gamers.
SPEAKER_1: Now, I do want to ask, you did say this is about being anti-gamer, not just beginner gamer.
SPEAKER_1: Can you explain the position of anti-gamers?
SPEAKER_2: Anti-gamers are people who are against gamers.
SPEAKER_2: And if one of them is tricked into playing this game, because no one would play this game who hates all video games and hates all gamers.
SPEAKER_2: Anyone who would play who is anti-gamers, who would oppress gamers, who ends up being tricked into playing this, will have a really good experience playing the game.
SPEAKER_2: This is who the game is made for.
SPEAKER_2: It's to trick non-gamers into playing this video game by telling them that it's a board game or some other thing that they're totally fine with.
SPEAKER_1: So how does, can you explain how this is a board game or it looks like a board game?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, it looks a lot like a board game, is the thing.
SPEAKER_2: It's not played on any particular console because an anti-gamer would never use a console.
SPEAKER_2: So we're getting a question again from our audience about whether or not board games are just medieval versions of video games.
SPEAKER_2: And while that may be the case, people who are against video games are rarely against board games because the two are clearly super duper different.
SPEAKER_2: Anti-gamers are totally fine with board games.
SPEAKER_2: And so it looks like a board.
SPEAKER_2: That's the first thing about this.
SPEAKER_1: Okay.
SPEAKER_2: Now there is a digital component which makes it a video game because that's how video games work.
SPEAKER_2: But you tell the person, oh yeah, this is just an addition to the board game.
SPEAKER_2: It's not a video game.
SPEAKER_2: And they go, then I guess I can play with it.
SPEAKER_2: And before they know it, they're swept up in this game because they don't even realize, they're like, oh wow, this is a really good board game.
SPEAKER_2: And you know, they have a controller in their hand and they're like, wow, this board game is awesome.
SPEAKER_1: So if you start to like this game, are you a gamer then?
SPEAKER_2: It checks periodically to see if you're enjoying yourself.
SPEAKER_2: Okay.
SPEAKER_2: And if it's, well, it asks two questions.
SPEAKER_2: One, are you enjoying yourself?
SPEAKER_2: And two, does this make you wanna play video games?
SPEAKER_2: And if you say yes to the second one, it makes your experience steadily worse.
SPEAKER_2: Every time you say yes to that, it just is like, all right, we're gonna make this level worse.
SPEAKER_2: And that doesn't mean harder.
SPEAKER_2: I wanna clarify, harder does not mean worse because some people have a lot of fun playing games like Dark Souls and stuff like that that are difficult, but you know what they're not into?
SPEAKER_2: Sonic 06.
SPEAKER_2: When I say worse, it means the game is glitching more.
SPEAKER_2: It's boring, it's dull, there's lots of grinding and very little payoff.
SPEAKER_1: It was a very risky move of Sony to introduce the blue screen, not as a bug, but as a feature.
SPEAKER_2: Exactly.
SPEAKER_1: Where you do have to just turn the whole system and in fact, just the power grid off.
SPEAKER_2: And the best part about that is you completely lose your process, your progress like 100%.
SPEAKER_2: There's a part 60% of the way into, actually no, it's 85% of the way into the game.
SPEAKER_1: It's a big distinction.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, it's 85% of the way into the game where you completely lose all your progress.
SPEAKER_2: And if you're a gamer, you can't finish it.
SPEAKER_2: You can't complete it.
SPEAKER_2: And if you can't complete a video game, you're no longer a gamer.
SPEAKER_2: See, anti-gamer isn't about just making gamers feel bad.
SPEAKER_2: It's about destroying gamers altogether.
SPEAKER_2: It's about eliminating the class of gamers.
SPEAKER_2: See, by the time anti-gamer is through with them, no one will be a gamer.
SPEAKER_2: Gamers will be completely abolished.
SPEAKER_2: And that is what Sony is doing.
SPEAKER_2: And that is why they're not at E3, because their whole thing is to destroy video games.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, I thought Sony wasn't at E3 because they got into a fist fight with Nintendo out in the parking lot.
SPEAKER_2: That's when it was over.
SPEAKER_2: And then it was like, we love gamers.
SPEAKER_2: And Sony was like, we hate gamers.
SPEAKER_2: It was between the Nintendo president and the Sony president.
SPEAKER_2: I'm really excited for that game to hit shelves.
SPEAKER_2: I'm really excited to play that game.
SPEAKER_1: What's it called?
SPEAKER_2: Anti-Gamer.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, just the game is called Anti-Gamer?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, that's the game.
SPEAKER_2: It's called Anti-Gamer.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, great.
SPEAKER_1: What system does it run on?
SPEAKER_2: I told you it's not on any consoles because if it was on a console.
SPEAKER_1: But what system?
SPEAKER_2: Oh, it's on iPhone.
SPEAKER_2: Because iPhone games aren't real games.
SPEAKER_2: And that's how you partially trick the anti-gamers into playing it.
SPEAKER_2: Anyone who plays on an iPhone is not really playing a game.
SPEAKER_1: It's not truly a game.
SPEAKER_2: It's not truly a game, exactly.
SPEAKER_2: Name one mobile game that is a real game.
SPEAKER_1: Candy Crush?
SPEAKER_2: That's fake.
SPEAKER_2: You kidding?
SPEAKER_2: That's the most fake game.
SPEAKER_2: Cause women play it.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, that's the other important thing.
SPEAKER_2: It asks your gender.
SPEAKER_2: The anti-gamer asks your gender.
SPEAKER_2: And if it's male, then you could be a gamer.
SPEAKER_2: And if it's female, you can't be your fake gamer.
SPEAKER_2: Unless you put a controller in your mouth.
SPEAKER_1: Which is where the GameCube Mini comes in.
SPEAKER_2: That's really all there is to anti-gamer.
SPEAKER_2: It's a really cool game.
SPEAKER_2: And I'm really excited to see, well, you won't see it at E3, cause Sony is not there, but I'm really excited for it to get released.
SPEAKER_2: There's one, it looks like there's one more prediction.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: It's really weird.
SPEAKER_1: So it is, it's saying the name, hmm, that seems odd.
SPEAKER_1: It is just saying High School Robot Mystery Dungeon, which is the game that I'm making.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, hey, it's just me.
SPEAKER_1: I'm at E3.
SPEAKER_2: Wait, you're at E3?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, so I'm at E3 this year.
SPEAKER_2: Clair Corp is at E3?
SPEAKER_1: Clair Corporation Inc.
SPEAKER_1: Ltd.
SPEAKER_2: TM is at E3, and you're revealing your game, which is called?
SPEAKER_1: It's called High School Robot Mystery Dungeon.
SPEAKER_2: Wow, that's a really interesting title.
SPEAKER_2: It sounds like a working title almost.
SPEAKER_1: It almost does.
SPEAKER_2: But it's the real full title of the game that you're making.
SPEAKER_1: It is the real full title.
SPEAKER_1: So there's this weird thing in video games where they do keep titles and descriptions of games separate.
SPEAKER_1: Now I'm revolutionizing this.
SPEAKER_1: Oh?
SPEAKER_1: I'm making the title the description.
SPEAKER_2: Wow, and so it seems like this-
SPEAKER_2: It's a bold move, no one's done it before.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, so no one's done it before.
SPEAKER_2: It seems like this game, okay, now I'm just gonna go by the title and see if I can get it.
SPEAKER_2: It sounds like it's a Mystery Dungeon style game, much like the Pokemon Mystery Dungeon games, or literally any other Mystery Dungeon game, but who cares about any of those?
SPEAKER_2: And it takes place in a high school and everyone except you is robots.
SPEAKER_2: That's the only possible interpretation.
SPEAKER_1: Now you are wrong, it is a first person shooter.
SPEAKER_1: And you do shoot robots out of guns.
SPEAKER_2: The bullets are robots.
SPEAKER_1: The bullets are in fact robots.
SPEAKER_1: They're tiny little robots.
SPEAKER_1: And then you put them into other schools.
SPEAKER_1: You teach the bullets how to learn and you educate the bullets.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, what are you educating them on?
SPEAKER_1: Well, you know, very important things like geography, and mathematics, and...
SPEAKER_2: Mm, killing.
SPEAKER_1: That's what Tom Nook uses to win Germany.
SPEAKER_2: It seems to me, so this game, High School Robot Mystery Dungeon, seems really like, you know, I don't wanna say the title is misleading, but if it is a first person shooter, that's quite an interesting direction for a game called a Mystery Dungeon game.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, the real mystery is the game.
SPEAKER_2: Right, is there like a point where you're actually gonna talk about what the game actually is or?
SPEAKER_1: Well, no, because that's gonna come at E3.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, so this is not as much as, so let's, yeah, let's talk about your status at E3.
SPEAKER_1: Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_2: When's the Clair Corp presentation?
SPEAKER_2: Cause I looked at the E3 schedule and I did see you on there.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, it's midnight.
SPEAKER_2: It's midnight, okay.
SPEAKER_2: That's not a super normal E3, so it's in the conference at midnight.
SPEAKER_2: I don't know if the conference room is open at that time.
SPEAKER_1: It's not normally.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, so they've opened it for you?
SPEAKER_1: No.
SPEAKER_2: So what have you done?
SPEAKER_1: Well, I did get the keys.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, how did you get the keys?
SPEAKER_1: Well, there was this person outside.
SPEAKER_1: Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_2: Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_1: And I asked really nicely.
SPEAKER_2: And then?
SPEAKER_1: And then I knocked them out.
SPEAKER_1: And I took their keys.
SPEAKER_2: And they were breathing?
SPEAKER_1: I didn't check.
SPEAKER_2: What did you do to knock them out?
SPEAKER_1: I hit them with the game.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, it's a cartridge?
SPEAKER_1: It's a real knockout.
SPEAKER_2: Dumb, stupid podcast, I hate this fucking show.
SPEAKER_2: So wait, okay, so you took the keys and you let yourself in.
SPEAKER_2: Is there an audience?
SPEAKER_1: Yes.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, where'd the audience come from?
SPEAKER_1: Well, it was the rest of the security.
SPEAKER_2: And they chose to be the audience?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, they came in when I opened the door.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, and they chose to sit down in the seats and watch your presentation at E3.
SPEAKER_1: They were in the room with me.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, okay, they were in the room.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, doesn't sound like they chose.
SPEAKER_2: It sounds like you may have forced them.
SPEAKER_1: No, they came in of their own volition.
SPEAKER_2: Right, their own volition.
SPEAKER_2: That's not what the word is, Clair.
SPEAKER_2: I'm a little concerned about what you actually mean.
SPEAKER_1: Their own...
SPEAKER_1: Malicious.
SPEAKER_1: Their own malicious intent.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, it was their own malicious intent.
SPEAKER_2: And so you...
SPEAKER_1: Started speaking at them.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, wait, there feels like there's a crucial step in here between how did you get them in the seats?
SPEAKER_1: They weren't.
SPEAKER_2: No?
SPEAKER_2: Where were they?
SPEAKER_1: They were in the aisles and also coming on stage to remove me.
SPEAKER_2: Ah, I see.
SPEAKER_2: I understand what's happened now.
SPEAKER_2: But how was the reception of your game?
SPEAKER_1: Oh, they seemed to like it.
SPEAKER_1: They were cheering or yelling at me.
SPEAKER_1: I couldn't tell the difference.
SPEAKER_2: Great.
SPEAKER_2: I love this because as we all know, E3 is still to come, but your presentation's already happened because you were doing the pre-E3, the pre-3, which of course is a conference held the weekend before E3 in which people are just supposed to like chill.
SPEAKER_2: But again, you're not supposed to do things at midnight.
SPEAKER_1: And that's where it's a real game changer.
SPEAKER_2: Do you have any more like puns that you just want to throw out there?
SPEAKER_2: Is that where you're at right now?
SPEAKER_1: No, there's no more mystery from this one.
SPEAKER_2: Cool.
SPEAKER_2: Can we actually just play a clip of your presentation?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: Here, let me press play.
SPEAKER_2: Pew.
SPEAKER_2: Pew, pew.
SPEAKER_2: I didn't know that the world was around.
SPEAKER_2: I'm a bullet.
SPEAKER_2: I don't know so a bullet, but I don't know what's going on.
SPEAKER_2: Well, let me educate you on bullet school.
SPEAKER_2: Let's go to bullet school, friends.
SPEAKER_2: Oh no, I was shot by other bullets.
SPEAKER_2: Smaller bullets got into the bullets of us.
SPEAKER_2: We're the robot bullets.
SPEAKER_2: They're just regular bullets.
SPEAKER_2: That's how the game works.
SPEAKER_1: Coming soon.
SPEAKER_1: This looks great, right?
SPEAKER_1: You'd rate it honestly, right?
SPEAKER_1: You tell me what you honestly thought.
SPEAKER_2: I thought we were gonna get a clip of you at the, at pre-three or, but it's just a game trailer.
SPEAKER_1: Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, so where's the game?
SPEAKER_2: Okay, so there's, that's a really interesting game trailer.
SPEAKER_2: I think it may have helped if you've kind of shown what the gameplay is like.
SPEAKER_1: Whoa, that's not the point of the game.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, what's the point of the game?
SPEAKER_1: It's a mystery.
SPEAKER_2: Is the game playable?
SPEAKER_1: Some would say so.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, okay, what does that mean?
SPEAKER_1: I want it to be.
SPEAKER_1: Please play.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, so wait, it sounds like, so I meant, could someone play the game?
SPEAKER_2: They could try.
SPEAKER_2: What console is it being released on?
SPEAKER_2: When's it releasing?
SPEAKER_1: Soon.
SPEAKER_1: Not now.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, do you have a demo?
SPEAKER_2: Do you have a demo on the show floor at E3?
SPEAKER_2: Clair, these are very, this is an interview now.
SPEAKER_2: I'm, hi, I'm an interviewer for Gamercon, and I'm here to find out more information about this game.
SPEAKER_1: It's closely guarded.
SPEAKER_2: It does sound closely guarded, but it does sound like maybe you should give us something to, you know, develop hype about the game.
SPEAKER_1: Play the game.
SPEAKER_2: Can they play the game?
SPEAKER_2: They can?
SPEAKER_1: Soon.
SPEAKER_2: And how long is the game, would you say?
SPEAKER_1: It's like 15 seconds.
SPEAKER_2: Are you sure the game is not just the trailer?
SPEAKER_2: Clair, when you say, you've made a game, do you mean you've made a trailer for a game that is the trailer?
SPEAKER_1: It's a game trailer.
SPEAKER_2: Is there a game outside of the trailer?
SPEAKER_1: Well, no, the game is inside of the trailer.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, so how do people get inside the trailer?
SPEAKER_1: You open up the back door.
SPEAKER_2: Where's the back door of a game trailer, Clair?
SPEAKER_1: It's the opposite side of the front.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, where is the front of the game trailer, Clair?
SPEAKER_1: It's the opposite side of the back.
SPEAKER_2: When you say...
SPEAKER_2: Now when you say the game trailer, do you mean the thing someone watches or a drink?
SPEAKER_1: So outside of pre-3, if you go outside the back, there's a game trailer.
SPEAKER_1: And if you open up the door in the back...
SPEAKER_2: Okay, great.
SPEAKER_2: So that's how you get it.
SPEAKER_2: Can people play the game after pre-3?
SPEAKER_1: At E3.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, and after that?
SPEAKER_1: At next year's E3.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, so when you say soon, you mean E3?
SPEAKER_1: Every year.
SPEAKER_2: Every year.
SPEAKER_1: Every year.
SPEAKER_2: Has it happened before?
SPEAKER_2: Okay, great.
SPEAKER_1: Every year.
SPEAKER_2: So we'll be there to review your game.
SPEAKER_1: I won't be.
SPEAKER_2: You won't be?
SPEAKER_1: No.
SPEAKER_2: You, where will you be?
SPEAKER_1: I'll be very busy.
SPEAKER_2: Where?
SPEAKER_1: Pre-3.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, you all know, because it'll be at E3.
SPEAKER_1: But I'll be at Pre-3 when E3 is going on.
SPEAKER_2: So you'll be at Pre-3, which has been over for a week.
SPEAKER_2: And what will you be doing there?
SPEAKER_1: Well, I'll be showing the game trailer.
SPEAKER_2: At midnight?
SPEAKER_1: And at noon.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, but no one will be there.
SPEAKER_1: That's their problem.
SPEAKER_2: Wait, isn't E3, isn't Pre-3 the same venue as E3?
SPEAKER_1: Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_2: So you'll be at E3.
SPEAKER_1: No, I'll be at Pre-3.
SPEAKER_2: You're fucking, I hate you.
SPEAKER_1: So does everyone who plays this game.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, it sounds like it.
SPEAKER_2: I think play is a strong word that you've chosen here.
SPEAKER_2: I think it might be more like watch the game.
SPEAKER_1: Some people would say that is a similar experience.
SPEAKER_1: Some people would say that I am some people.
SPEAKER_2: So what you're saying is every time you said some people, you've met you.
SPEAKER_1: Some people would say so.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, you would say so.
SPEAKER_1: Some people would agree.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, great.
SPEAKER_2: Other than your game, which God, when you actually release the fucking game that you're making, you're going to have to try really hard to convince people that it isn't just the bullshit that you've just talked about, considering it is a game about high school robots and it's a mystery dungeon game.
SPEAKER_1: It's an FPS.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, great.
SPEAKER_2: I think that's all the predictions that we have from the AI.
SPEAKER_2: Do you want to take off your Clair Corp hat and jump back into me with the gaming con, our podcast?
SPEAKER_2: Do you want to join the podcast again?
SPEAKER_1: Too late.
SPEAKER_1: I've been assimilated.
SPEAKER_2: You've been assimilated?
SPEAKER_2: That doesn't sound good.
SPEAKER_2: I might need to go help with that situation to get you back for our next podcast episode of Gamercon, a show that comes out every week.
SPEAKER_1: About games.
SPEAKER_2: I'm also definitely going to need to get you back in time for the beginning of July, because......announcement, we're doing a live stream.
SPEAKER_2: We're doing a live episode of Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_1: Sponsored by Clair Corp.
SPEAKER_2: It's not sponsored by Clair Corp.
SPEAKER_1: Many moneys are put into it.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, well, okay, sure.
SPEAKER_2: But what we're doing is, at the beginning of July, we still have to confirm the exact date, I think.
SPEAKER_1: We'll release that on social media, so keep an eye out.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, keep an eye out.
SPEAKER_2: We'll also tell you in two weeks' time when we have that date confirmed, but we are going to be doing a live episode of Salt Cravings to commemorate the first anniversary of this podcast that we make.
SPEAKER_1: One year.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, so, yeah.
SPEAKER_1: It'll be YouTube forward slash Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_1: There's a.com in there somewhere.
SPEAKER_2: So check out the Salt Cravings channel on YouTube because that is where we are planning to do the live stream.
SPEAKER_2: Since Twitch requires you to play games on any live stream, we're just recording an episode of our podcast.
SPEAKER_2: Please join in.
SPEAKER_2: It would be super great to be able to answer questions from chat.
SPEAKER_2: Not questions, cravings.
SPEAKER_1: Ask us questions about your cravings.
SPEAKER_1: Ask us questions about our cravings.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, we'll come prepared with some cravings in the case that people don't have cravings available to us, but we would really, really love the opportunity to actually respond to your stuff and, you know, engage with you live.
SPEAKER_2: So keep an eye out for the exact date of that one.
SPEAKER_2: I'm super excited about that.
SPEAKER_1: Keep an eye out on social media at Salt Cravings on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
SPEAKER_2: Also, you can submit your cravings to us or keep them for the live episode.
SPEAKER_2: But if you want to get them done beforehand, submit them to submissions at saltcravings.com.
SPEAKER_1: We might even do them on the live episode.
SPEAKER_2: We may even do them on the live episode.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, submit your cravings so we can talk about your stuff.
SPEAKER_2: Also, rate and review us on iTunes and Google Play maybe.
SPEAKER_2: That'd be cool if you did that.
SPEAKER_1: And it's uncool if you don't.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, if you don't, you're a real loser.
SPEAKER_1: You're a real gamer.
SPEAKER_2: Same thing.
SPEAKER_2: We said the same thing.
SPEAKER_2: And is there anything else to say, Clair?
SPEAKER_1: Stay cool.
SPEAKER_1: Play Mystery Dungeon.
SPEAKER_2: And enjoy E3.
SPEAKER_1: Enjoy E3.
SPEAKER_1: I'll be there.
SPEAKER_2: Love capitalism.