SPEAKER_1: Welcome to Salt Cravings, a live podcast with me, Clair.
SPEAKER_2: And me, Brianna.
SPEAKER_1: It's not live.
SPEAKER_2: We're not live.
SPEAKER_1: It's a lie.
SPEAKER_2: We fucked up.
SPEAKER_1: Well, I wouldn't say we fucked up.
SPEAKER_1: It's more like-
SPEAKER_2: I would say technology is wrong, and streaming is hard.
SPEAKER_1: Basically, who knew streaming took a lot of hardware capabilities?
SPEAKER_1: It's me, I knew, I just needed help.
SPEAKER_2: We both knew, and we both didn't think about it.
SPEAKER_2: My very good computer is being repaired right now.
SPEAKER_1: And my very good computer is going to be in my possession when I buy it in a few months.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, we'll be doing a live episode at a later date.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, we'll do it again.
SPEAKER_2: We'll do it again.
SPEAKER_1: And by again, I mean for the first time.
SPEAKER_2: Because we didn't do it today.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: We couldn't, we tried, we tried for like an hour.
SPEAKER_1: But hey, you're still getting an episode.
SPEAKER_2: So you should be thankful for that, you monsters.
SPEAKER_1: Suckle at the teat of these podcasts.
SPEAKER_2: Mm, teat.
SPEAKER_1: So Brianna.
SPEAKER_2: Same old Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_1: Do you want to start?
SPEAKER_1: Please, please help us and start this episode with a craving.
SPEAKER_2: I would love to.
SPEAKER_2: In order to do that, can you say my name again?
SPEAKER_1: Ms.
SPEAKER_1: Price?
SPEAKER_2: Is this a curse name?
SPEAKER_1: Bri?
SPEAKER_1: Full pronunciation?
SPEAKER_2: Yes.
SPEAKER_1: Brianna.
SPEAKER_2: Yes, exactly.
SPEAKER_2: Now, how would you spell that?
SPEAKER_2: B-R-I-W-U-W-X.
SPEAKER_2: And therein lies the problem.
SPEAKER_2: My first craving is...
SPEAKER_1: Is it, can I guess?
SPEAKER_3: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: Do you get off when you hear your own name?
SPEAKER_3: No, no.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, okay, go on.
SPEAKER_2: Is that like a thing?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, oh, absolutely.
SPEAKER_1: That's like one of the most common things.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I guess like in a sexual context.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, well, you can get off emotionally.
SPEAKER_2: I think we should get on emotionally for this emotional field.
SPEAKER_2: What is your...
SPEAKER_2: So, I really would love for there to be only one spelling in my name in the world.
SPEAKER_1: There is.
SPEAKER_2: And for it to be mine.
SPEAKER_1: There is.
SPEAKER_2: Right.
SPEAKER_1: It's the one, the way you spell it, it's the only way it's spelled.
SPEAKER_2: See, I wish that were true, Clair.
SPEAKER_2: I wish that the only way people spelled Brianna was B-R-I-A-N-N-A.
SPEAKER_2: But you know what people do?
SPEAKER_2: You know what these monsters out there do?
SPEAKER_2: They spell it differently because different is wrong.
SPEAKER_2: And what they do is they'll put B-R-I-E-A-N-N-A or B-R-I-A-N-A.
SPEAKER_1: Sorry, sorry.
SPEAKER_1: Where's the B?
SPEAKER_2: We can't just reference buying goods, stealing content.
SPEAKER_2: We gotta make our own content.
SPEAKER_2: Gotta make homegrown organic content.
SPEAKER_1: Self-fed content.
SPEAKER_2: Rustic, non-technological content.
SPEAKER_2: And really what I would love is for all other spellings of my name to go away.
SPEAKER_2: I want my spelling of my name to be the only way to spell Brianna.
SPEAKER_2: And also, while we're at it, if we could just eliminate Briann as a name, because everyone thinks my name is Briann for some reason, that would also be a plus.
SPEAKER_1: I do have a solution for that one.
SPEAKER_1: Whenever someone goes Briann, you just respond, ah, like you've got an idea.
SPEAKER_1: And then you tell them, ah, I have an idea.
SPEAKER_1: You fucked my name up.
SPEAKER_2: Ah, I, also known as Briann, ah, have a very interesting idea here.
SPEAKER_2: That's a good solution to that one.
SPEAKER_2: I think that part of it.
SPEAKER_2: But how do we ensure that no one ever spells my name with one N or with an E in it or with a dash in it, which I've seen?
SPEAKER_1: What's that?
SPEAKER_2: Wait.
SPEAKER_2: B-R-I-E-Dash-A-N-N-A or B-R-I-Dash-A-N-N-A.
SPEAKER_1: Why was the E necessary?
SPEAKER_2: Like the cheese?
SPEAKER_1: So they explicitly added the E so that their child could be called Cheezanna.
SPEAKER_2: Apparently, I don't get it.
SPEAKER_2: But I think some people think that B-R-I is pronounced Bri because I've also gotten the pronunciation of Brianna.
SPEAKER_2: Yes, I've known that before, which is very amusing to me because it makes me think that like, oh, this would be the stereotypical trans name if my birth name had been Brian.
SPEAKER_1: I can relate to this because just like you have this problem, I have a similar problem where people think there's an E at the end of Clair, but that's not how you say Clair.
SPEAKER_1: That name is Clair, as you have told me on this podcast.
SPEAKER_2: Exactly, in middle English, it would be pronounced Clair.
SPEAKER_1: Well, that's not just, it's modern English, too.
SPEAKER_2: Well, in modern English as well, an E at the end means you go uh.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, so I do have an idea.
SPEAKER_1: I have two ideas, and one of them is kind of a reference, so I'm just gonna zoom past that one.
SPEAKER_1: We could feed the other ones to the void fish.
SPEAKER_2: Great, good, great.
SPEAKER_2: Next.
SPEAKER_2: Love that.
SPEAKER_1: What we could do is we could go through all of the medical history records in all hospitals and just change everyone's name.
SPEAKER_1: We just make it.
SPEAKER_1: We go and we reapply everyone's name to the correct spelling.
SPEAKER_2: And I think the best way to do this would be with a virus.
SPEAKER_2: And it's a virus that affects every computer everywhere.
SPEAKER_2: Only the spelling.
SPEAKER_2: But the only thing it does is change the spelling.
SPEAKER_2: Now there will still be paper records that will need to change.
SPEAKER_1: Actual virus, real world virus that changes the name of papers.
SPEAKER_2: Clair, a real world virus.
SPEAKER_1: It infects paper.
SPEAKER_2: No, a real world virus.
SPEAKER_2: You know what that is?
SPEAKER_2: The plague.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, so we make a Brianna plague.
SPEAKER_2: No matter how many people die, we're gonna do this.
SPEAKER_1: Right.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, that's a good idea.
SPEAKER_3: No, no, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, what if we made a virus and it's gonna be hard?
SPEAKER_1: Because viruses in the real world are only made up of four letters.
SPEAKER_1: GCAT, I remember this from biology.
SPEAKER_1: So we're gonna have to find a way to spell Brianna with G, C, A, and T.
SPEAKER_1: Can you give me that spelling, please?
SPEAKER_2: Sure, well, the A is pretty easy because it's already in there.
SPEAKER_2: So I'm thinking what we'll do is...
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, it's not, it shouldn't be this hard.
SPEAKER_1: There's only four letters.
SPEAKER_2: What's the first letter?
SPEAKER_1: What is the first letter of Brianna out of G, C, A, and T?
SPEAKER_2: It's a G.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, good.
SPEAKER_2: Because that's pretty close.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, R?
SPEAKER_1: Okay.
SPEAKER_2: Part of the T, just part of it.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I and A.
SPEAKER_1: That's one thing.
SPEAKER_2: Well, the I is the other part of the T.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, all right, all right, cool.
SPEAKER_2: Then what was the other one, C?
SPEAKER_1: N, N, and E, yeah.
SPEAKER_1: You have G cat.
SPEAKER_1: You're working with the G cat.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I mean, N, N is pretty easy.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: C, C, just flip it.
SPEAKER_2: Just turn it 90 degrees.
SPEAKER_1: So, what did we get?
SPEAKER_1: Gataka, Gataka.
SPEAKER_2: But it's Brianna.
SPEAKER_1: But it's pronounced Brianna.
SPEAKER_1: Great, so now we know how to spell Brianna with those letters.
SPEAKER_1: Now we just have to build the virus.
SPEAKER_2: Now we just have to build a virus.
SPEAKER_2: Now, I'm basically a biology expert.
SPEAKER_2: So, I obviously know how to build a virus.
SPEAKER_2: You take paper, put it in a machine.
SPEAKER_1: Right, what kind of machine?
SPEAKER_2: Virus machine.
SPEAKER_1: Great, go on.
SPEAKER_2: And then you press virus.
SPEAKER_1: Is that a button or you just?
SPEAKER_2: You press the button virus.
SPEAKER_2: It's the virus button.
SPEAKER_2: There's a button on the virus machine.
SPEAKER_2: It's the virus button.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_2: And then it infects the people with the virus.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, that makes sense.
SPEAKER_2: Then you spread it.
SPEAKER_1: That's what the virus machine does.
SPEAKER_1: Cool, so we've got the virus.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, now the other issue is people might say, you know, like, oh yeah, my name is spelled this way, right?
SPEAKER_2: Which I think I know what we need to do about that.
SPEAKER_2: We just need a way to rewrite or overwrite the way people speak.
SPEAKER_2: So when someone says, oh, my name is spelled B-R-I-A-N-A, what the person actually hears is B-R-I-A-N-N-A.
SPEAKER_2: It's sort of like, it's a real time.
SPEAKER_1: Where in the process are we changing it?
SPEAKER_1: Are we changing it when the speaker is speaking and they don't know, or are we changing the waves?
SPEAKER_1: Are we changing what the listener hears?
SPEAKER_2: I think we're changing the waves because I think it makes the most sense for there to just be spores in the air that do this.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_2: So just spores that impact.
SPEAKER_1: So it's an airborne virus.
SPEAKER_2: It's an air, this is the second part of the virus.
SPEAKER_1: This is a very powerful virus.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, and this one affects sound waves where if they say a different spelling of the name, they're like, it automatically changes.
SPEAKER_1: It can hear the difference between Brianna and Brianna.
SPEAKER_2: Exactly.
SPEAKER_1: And it will change them.
SPEAKER_3: It will change that.
SPEAKER_2: So we've fixed this problem with viruses, I think.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, well, what are we calling the virus?
SPEAKER_1: We have to patent it.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, we need to also dissociate ourselves from the virus.
SPEAKER_1: Right, so we can't just call it the Brianna plague.
SPEAKER_2: No, we really can't.
SPEAKER_2: I think we need to call it the spelling plague, just the spelling plague.
SPEAKER_1: It's called the ah spelling plague.
SPEAKER_1: Now everyone has the ah.
SPEAKER_1: You've contracted the ah.
SPEAKER_2: You've contracted the ah.
SPEAKER_2: Oh no, how long do I have?
SPEAKER_2: Like the rest of your life is just gonna change kind of the way that you say this one word and some of your papers will spell it differently.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, don't cough on a computer because it's actually the same virus.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, it's one of those special viruses that affects paper, humans and technology.
SPEAKER_1: Ah, I think I've got it, the virus that is.
SPEAKER_1: And now I can spread it.
SPEAKER_1: And the best part is, it travels electronically.
SPEAKER_1: So now you've got it too.
SPEAKER_1: And I don't just mean you Brianna, I mean you.
SPEAKER_1: Well, that's fun.
SPEAKER_1: Now we all are.
SPEAKER_2: Ah, what a good virus we've made.
SPEAKER_2: Ah, mm, ah.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah?
SPEAKER_2: Do you wanna give me a craving?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I really do.
SPEAKER_2: I'm really scared.
SPEAKER_2: You're so excited about this craving.
SPEAKER_2: I'm not terrified.
SPEAKER_1: So this craving has a story before I say what the craving is.
SPEAKER_1: It's a short story.
SPEAKER_1: It just builds up because this craving only manifested this morning.
SPEAKER_1: So I had a dream last night and I was just dating someone with a Southern accent.
SPEAKER_1: And so my craving is, I just wanna listen to more people or date.
SPEAKER_1: I just wanna date a cowgirl.
SPEAKER_3: Fair enough.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, right?
SPEAKER_1: I just want, yeehaw, I want that Southern drawl.
SPEAKER_2: Save a horse, ride a cowgirl, am I right?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, so I don't know what it is about that Southern drawl.
SPEAKER_2: Something about Southern accents fucking rule.
SPEAKER_1: They are the best ever.
SPEAKER_2: They're extremely good.
SPEAKER_1: So how do we get this?
SPEAKER_1: Can we distill the accent down?
SPEAKER_1: What's the main component of the accent?
SPEAKER_2: Can I just say that I love that your first thing was not, let's go find someone who speaks with that accent, but let's make this, let's distill this accent and be able to just inject it into people, I guess.
SPEAKER_1: Listen, I'm gonna make a potion and now I know potions aren't real, Brianna.
SPEAKER_2: We established this in the last episode.
SPEAKER_2: But this could be the first real potion.
SPEAKER_1: But it's the first real potion and if you drink it, you have a Southern accent now.
SPEAKER_1: And I would chug this.
SPEAKER_2: So you wanna have a Southern accent.
SPEAKER_1: I would never need to listen to anyone else ever again.
SPEAKER_2: It seems like a good idea.
SPEAKER_2: I can't poke any flaws in that plant except don't.
SPEAKER_2: So it's pretty good.
SPEAKER_2: Which is really what you've always wanted.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I gotta love myself, Brianna.
SPEAKER_2: But you'll only love yourself with a Southern accent.
SPEAKER_1: That's it, right?
SPEAKER_1: I fucking hate myself unless I have a Southern accent.
SPEAKER_1: Literally, no one is good until they have a Southern accent.
SPEAKER_1: This is the discernible difference of morality even.
SPEAKER_1: This is how you know someone is a moral, ethical person is if they have a Southern accent.
SPEAKER_1: What Brianna?
SPEAKER_2: You're trans.
SPEAKER_2: Why don't you just voice train, motherfucker?
SPEAKER_2: This is voice training.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know, why don't I?
SPEAKER_1: Because it's bad and you heard it.
SPEAKER_1: You heard it right now.
SPEAKER_3: That's not how training works.
SPEAKER_1: I tried it and I gave up, so therefore I can't do it.
SPEAKER_1: I need to chug the juice.
SPEAKER_1: I need to chug the Southern juice.
SPEAKER_2: All right, so the first important thing about the Southern juice, you gotta make-
SPEAKER_1: What color is it?
SPEAKER_2: I suspect it'll be something like a sunset over the horizon.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, yeah, that's true.
SPEAKER_1: That's perfect, isn't it?
SPEAKER_2: Barn in the distance.
SPEAKER_2: What color is a barn in the distance?
SPEAKER_3: Barn in the distance.
SPEAKER_3: You're so insane.
SPEAKER_3: So here's what I'm thinking.
SPEAKER_1: What are you thinking?
SPEAKER_1: This is why I need to date someone with a Southern accent.
SPEAKER_2: But you've just decided that now the solution is a potion.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: So we have to make the potion.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, yeah.
SPEAKER_1: And then I could just give it to whoever I'm dating.
SPEAKER_2: So you-
SPEAKER_1: And then I can date someone with a Southern accent.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, because you can just totally-
SPEAKER_2: it's totally fine to just like be like, yeah, I'm just going to change this person's accent.
SPEAKER_1: Who would say no?
SPEAKER_1: You become ethical and moral once you have a Southern accent.
SPEAKER_2: Clair, you and I have a very different idea of what the South is like.
SPEAKER_1: The South is part Southern and part accent.
SPEAKER_1: And if you have neither, are you truly a self?
SPEAKER_2: What the fuck are you talking about?
SPEAKER_2: None of that made any sense.
SPEAKER_1: What are the components of this?
SPEAKER_2: None of that made any sense, but it's fine.
SPEAKER_2: Let's make this fucking juice.
SPEAKER_2: All right.
SPEAKER_1: Juice me up.
SPEAKER_2: So the first thing is, of course, you need some good Southern cooking.
SPEAKER_1: Like anything?
SPEAKER_2: I mean, I think we'd have to test some different things, right?
SPEAKER_2: I'm immediately good to jump in on chicken and waffles, but I don't know if that'll work.
SPEAKER_2: We're trying.
SPEAKER_1: I'm vegetarian.
SPEAKER_2: I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_2: Right.
SPEAKER_1: We have to have a vegetarian version of this.
SPEAKER_2: Vegetarian Southern cuisine.
SPEAKER_2: Cornbread?
SPEAKER_2: Y'all want some cornbread?
SPEAKER_1: I want some cornbread inside of me.
SPEAKER_2: Great.
SPEAKER_1: Next ingredient.
SPEAKER_1: What if it's just, like you said, what if it's just a barn in the distance?
SPEAKER_2: So is it that you have to get a part of the barn in there?
SPEAKER_2: Or is it like a picture you've taken where there's a barn in the distance?
SPEAKER_2: Or do you have to drink it while there's a barn in the distance?
SPEAKER_1: Oh, yes.
SPEAKER_1: It's the last one.
SPEAKER_1: I was just gonna say you have to take a piece of a barn while it's in the distance.
SPEAKER_2: What if, hey, I have a fun idea.
SPEAKER_2: What if we made something on this show that is ingestible that was actually edible?
SPEAKER_1: All right.
SPEAKER_1: We got cornbread.
SPEAKER_2: We got cornbread.
SPEAKER_2: Good start to any potion.
SPEAKER_1: You need, I was gonna say wheat, but I don't mean wheat.
SPEAKER_1: I just mean the tall grass that grows in the south.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know what it's called.
SPEAKER_2: Sure.
SPEAKER_2: Sounds right.
SPEAKER_1: It's ingestible.
SPEAKER_2: I think another important thing about it is, I'm not sure if there's any other, there might be more-
SPEAKER_1: Horse.
SPEAKER_2: Sorry?
SPEAKER_2: Horse.
SPEAKER_1: Why not, like, cow?
SPEAKER_1: Cow and cow.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, depends what variant you're going for.
SPEAKER_2: You're going for farmer or cow.
SPEAKER_1: You have to breed the horse and the cow together.
SPEAKER_2: That's not possible.
SPEAKER_1: You have to.
SPEAKER_2: It's the first step.
SPEAKER_2: That's not a thing.
SPEAKER_1: You have to make the how.
SPEAKER_1: What are the course?
SPEAKER_1: One describes the taste and one describes what you think to yourself after you drink it.
SPEAKER_2: Great.
SPEAKER_2: So you have your cow, horse, horse, how, you swirl this all together.
SPEAKER_2: Get that barn in the distance, heat it up in the sun of the south, because it's warm down there.
SPEAKER_1: It's hot as hell.
SPEAKER_2: So you gotta warm that up.
SPEAKER_2: Then you pour iced tea in there, bring down the temperature, because that's the crucial thing is cooling yourself off in the summer.
SPEAKER_2: So you get some good old, now that's the southern iced tea, what's it called?
SPEAKER_2: Sweet tea.
SPEAKER_2: Sweet tea is what it's called.
SPEAKER_1: And you just go to town on that, boy.
SPEAKER_1: Just chug it right down.
SPEAKER_2: And then you have a southern accent and it's perfect.
SPEAKER_1: That's amazing.
SPEAKER_1: God, technology has come so far.
SPEAKER_1: I'm glad that everyone has access to becoming a moral and ethical person now, thanks to this potion that gives you a southern accent.
SPEAKER_2: Now I do still...
SPEAKER_1: There's nothing wrong with this idea, Brianna.
SPEAKER_1: Go on.
SPEAKER_2: How would you know what morals are if you don't have a southern accent?
SPEAKER_1: Fuck.
SPEAKER_2: Gotcha.
SPEAKER_2: Gotcha there.
SPEAKER_2: Once you have a southern accent, then you can tell everyone about what morality is and what's right and wrong.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: Well, at least we have a goal.
SPEAKER_1: You're gonna get, you're gonna, you're gonna do it with me, right?
SPEAKER_1: Right Brianna?
SPEAKER_2: Well, I mean, we're not dating, so you don't have to, so I don't have to.
SPEAKER_1: But you wouldn't, you wouldn't do this for who you're dating?
SPEAKER_1: You wouldn't offer them this kindness?
SPEAKER_2: I don't know if my girlfriend would want me to, you know, my entire voice to change.
SPEAKER_1: Fair.
SPEAKER_1: New world goal.
SPEAKER_1: Everyone has a accent.
SPEAKER_1: Specifically southern.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, because I was about to say everyone already has an accent.
SPEAKER_1: I know.
SPEAKER_1: Everyone speaks accent.
SPEAKER_1: Hey, how you're speaking it?
SPEAKER_1: That was not anything.
SPEAKER_2: What the fuck was that?
SPEAKER_2: Can you do that again?
SPEAKER_3: I don't think I can.
SPEAKER_3: I don't know what I summoned.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know what I summoned there.
SPEAKER_2: Probably a demon.
SPEAKER_2: Is this because we forgot the Jesus in the juice?
SPEAKER_1: Fuck, we didn't summon Jesus.
SPEAKER_1: Do you want to give me a Jesus accent craving?
SPEAKER_2: Two, we have a fan craving.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, right.
SPEAKER_1: Let me just get that.
SPEAKER_1: So you have an intro when we do fravings.
SPEAKER_2: I do.
SPEAKER_1: Do you want to do it?
SPEAKER_3: Fravings, fravings, fravings.
SPEAKER_3: It's a fraving, a fraving.
SPEAKER_1: So our first fraving comes in from...
SPEAKER_1: First one.
SPEAKER_1: There's only one, but it is the first one.
SPEAKER_1: Listen, a list...
SPEAKER_2: This is our like fourth one.
SPEAKER_1: The episode Brianna and a list of one item still has a first item and a last item.
SPEAKER_1: This is computer science.
SPEAKER_1: Anyways, so our first and last fraving is, well, they just sort of sent it to me directly.
SPEAKER_1: So there's no name that I'm going to read out on the podcast, but it is shaving your head or dyeing your hair different color.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, yes.
SPEAKER_1: Now understandably, this is very cathartic.
SPEAKER_2: This is a craving that is actually on my list of cravings.
SPEAKER_1: I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_2: That's okay.
SPEAKER_2: I love to I would love to talk about this with other like, yes, of course, it's the most cathartic.
SPEAKER_2: How do you decide?
SPEAKER_1: Right?
SPEAKER_1: Because this is now this is the biggest problem.
SPEAKER_1: There's no undo button.
SPEAKER_1: There's no one can we have an undo button, like Photoshop, but for hair.
SPEAKER_2: So something that I recently semi recently found is like there are apps that will take it's really weird and a little bit unsettling.
SPEAKER_2: You'll you'll look into it and it'll use the camera show you what you'd look like with different hair colors, like moving around and stuff like that.
SPEAKER_2: Like, it's really interesting and I think we just need that for reality.
SPEAKER_2: I think we just need a trial period of like, here's what you look like with this hair.
SPEAKER_1: How long is the trial?
SPEAKER_1: What's the expiry look like?
SPEAKER_2: Well, after a certain time it does it does you have to pay.
SPEAKER_2: You have to pay.
SPEAKER_1: You have to commit to the color.
SPEAKER_2: You have to commit.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, it's like it's a subscription model.
SPEAKER_1: Yes, it's a monthly color subscription.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_1: Pick your new hair each month.
SPEAKER_2: That would be cool.
SPEAKER_2: That would be cool, actually.
SPEAKER_2: That's like the cyberpunk future we need.
SPEAKER_2: Man, fuck cyberpunk 3037.
SPEAKER_2: That's what I want.
SPEAKER_1: I want the hair subscription model.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, honestly.
SPEAKER_2: Because I do just constantly want to change up my hair.
SPEAKER_1: What's the subscription model called?
SPEAKER_1: I want to know.
SPEAKER_1: What is it called?
SPEAKER_1: What's the catchy name, Brianna, where you get hair a month?
SPEAKER_1: That's not good.
SPEAKER_1: This is, I need a name, Brianna.
SPEAKER_1: Shave or don't?
SPEAKER_1: No, it's nothing.
SPEAKER_1: That's nothing.
SPEAKER_2: Never die.
SPEAKER_1: That's good.
SPEAKER_2: Thank you.
SPEAKER_1: Dye Another Day, also good.
SPEAKER_2: Dye Another Day.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, that's really good.
SPEAKER_2: That would get us sued.
SPEAKER_2: That was fine.
SPEAKER_2: But no, this is like a genuine craving that I get all the time is like, my hair is like shoulder length and I keep being like, do I cut shorter?
SPEAKER_2: Do I grow long?
SPEAKER_2: Because it's right at that point where I want it to be either chin length or like long and I don't know how to decide.
SPEAKER_2: And I also keep thinking about like, oh, what if I dyed a different color?
SPEAKER_2: Last summer was the first time I ever dyed it like a ginger type color and it was like semi permanent.
SPEAKER_2: So it came out and that's the only time that I've ever like done anything with my hair.
SPEAKER_2: I've cut it and I've dyed it once and that's about it.
SPEAKER_2: And it's just it's such a commitment.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, you know, you know the hair I want.
SPEAKER_1: But I want the sirens hair from Borderlands.
SPEAKER_1: I just want to shave half my head and dye it bright red.
SPEAKER_2: Honestly, very, very good.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: And I have long hair right now, which means if I shave half of it off, I'm not getting that back for a few years.
SPEAKER_1: So I need to dye another day.
SPEAKER_2: One of the, yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_2: One of the benefits of my hair is that it grows very fast, which is also kind of a downside when you want to keep it short.
SPEAKER_2: But it means that you get a crossroads fairly often where you can decide, ah, this one is kind of long.
SPEAKER_1: It's like CrossFit for your hair.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, it's like CrossFit for your hair.
SPEAKER_2: That makes no fucking sense, but it just makes any fucking sense.
SPEAKER_2: So you could do Dye Another Day.
SPEAKER_2: And I like this.
SPEAKER_2: I like this model.
SPEAKER_2: What if you really want to be able to dye and then undo?
SPEAKER_2: You want to have that undo button specific.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, where do we attach the undo button?
SPEAKER_1: Do you get new hair?
SPEAKER_1: How do undo?
SPEAKER_2: I think you swallow it.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, we're going full digestibles this episode.
SPEAKER_2: Every solution has to be digestible.
SPEAKER_1: So is it-
SPEAKER_2: Actually the virus wasn't digestible.
SPEAKER_1: You can eat the virus.
SPEAKER_2: What does it do?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, because it comes, well, you're powering it.
SPEAKER_1: Do you like burp up the screen?
SPEAKER_1: Where does the screen come from?
SPEAKER_2: Yes, you burp up the screen and it comes out of your mouth and you just go like, ah, okay, ah, I-
SPEAKER_2: Do you have to keep your mouth open?
SPEAKER_2: It's projected from your mouth.
SPEAKER_1: So it's like a projector from your stomach?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, but it's a hologram.
SPEAKER_2: Not from your stomach, that's not possible.
SPEAKER_2: That's not possible.
SPEAKER_2: We're only doing possibilities.
SPEAKER_1: Sorry, go on.
SPEAKER_2: I'm just saying, it comes out of your mouth and it has a thing that says, Undo, Yes, No.
SPEAKER_1: I thought it was gonna give you more than that.
SPEAKER_2: That's the premium model.
SPEAKER_1: It's all the hairs you've had for the last two years.
SPEAKER_2: That sounds great, actually.
SPEAKER_2: I would totally subscribe to that.
SPEAKER_1: And get you out of many hairy situations.
SPEAKER_1: You wanna give me another craving?
SPEAKER_2: Thank you for the two-
SPEAKER_1: Yes, thank you.
SPEAKER_2: So, recently Nintendo's gotten some backlash from Pokémon Sword and Shield fans.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I've seen.
SPEAKER_2: Who have not been particularly happy that some Pokémon are not returning.
SPEAKER_2: But to them, I say, you don't know how painful it can be.
SPEAKER_2: Because, you know, as much as I love many Pokémon, and I would love to see them all in this world, what I really want is a specific NPC from a specific Pokémon game who has never returned and who I need desperately once again.
SPEAKER_2: And I'm gonna play steam music.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, I know who it is.
SPEAKER_1: I'm so excited.
SPEAKER_1: I didn't recognize that at first.
SPEAKER_2: So it's the Pokemon XD Gale of Darkness music for Miror B.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, god, I like the Mirror B music from Colosseum.
SPEAKER_1: I'm just gonna play a little bit here because I like it a little bit more.
SPEAKER_2: Both versions are so good.
SPEAKER_1: They're so good.
SPEAKER_2: One is like a sort of Latin American samba type music, and the other is very much disco, and it is like a little bit electric, and it's really cool.
SPEAKER_1: Both Miror B.
SPEAKER_2: Both are Miror B.
SPEAKER_2: So, Miror B.
SPEAKER_1: Can you just describe Miror B?
SPEAKER_1: I know this is the best audio visual media for describing things.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I don't even have to look this man up.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, great, good.
SPEAKER_2: Because I remember.
SPEAKER_2: So, imagine the lankiest man you can imagine.
SPEAKER_2: He's extremely tall, extremely skinny.
SPEAKER_2: All his limbs, very skinny.
SPEAKER_1: It's just sort of like if the Shadow Boy from the woods was a real person.
SPEAKER_1: What is that one called?
SPEAKER_1: Shadow Boy, the one that the game, there was a game for him.
SPEAKER_2: Slenderman?
SPEAKER_1: Slenderman, yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Kind of like a dancing Slenderman.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, it's just like a Slenderman with like a Pokeball Afro.
SPEAKER_2: Yes, and his Afro, this is important, is red and white.
SPEAKER_2: It's across the, down the middle.
SPEAKER_2: It's extremely good.
SPEAKER_2: Then he just has, at least in XD, I don't remember what he has in Colosseum, but he has a full on purple jumpsuit with-
SPEAKER_2: In Pokémon XD, which I played, Clair played Colosseum, he's in both.
SPEAKER_1: I played both, but.
SPEAKER_2: But in XD, he has a purple jumpsuit, which has an open V-neck, it's down to his belly button.
SPEAKER_2: It's just a V-neck, but it goes down to his belly button.
SPEAKER_1: He embodies groove of Pokémon.
SPEAKER_1: And my favorite part of him is his only fricking Pokémon is Ludicolo.
SPEAKER_2: It's true.
SPEAKER_2: He also will often have Shadow Pokémon, which is the thing about Pokémon and Colosseum.
SPEAKER_2: And XD, which means you get to fight him a lot when you're trying to catch all the Shadow Pokémon.
SPEAKER_2: Which is-
SPEAKER_1: So many Ludicolos.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, but he just has Ludicolos and they're dancin and it's the best thing ever.
SPEAKER_1: I just remember his like six Ludicolo fight.
SPEAKER_2: Yes.
SPEAKER_1: So good.
SPEAKER_1: It's really annoying when I played it.
SPEAKER_1: But God, in retrospect, I want Miror B in Pokémon Sword and Shield.
SPEAKER_2: I want Miror B in Pokémon Sword and Shield.
SPEAKER_2: And so my question is, what's his vibe this time?
SPEAKER_2: Because in Colosseum, he was like an evil team leader, right?
SPEAKER_1: Was he a team leader?
SPEAKER_1: I thought he just sort of did his own thing.
SPEAKER_2: I think he did his own thing, but in XD, he mentions once having been in an evil team, but now just sort of roaming around.
SPEAKER_1: That seems very much like him.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, and I think in Colosseum, he may have been associated with the evil guys at one point, but just sort of kind of rolls around a whole bunch, and just sort of chills.
SPEAKER_2: And the music goes from this Latin American vibe to disco to...
SPEAKER_2: Ooh, a little bit of the tango.
SPEAKER_2: So he shows up with a rose in his teeth.
SPEAKER_1: Absolutely, hell yes.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, and the rose has like a Pokeball, like a little mini Pokeball.
SPEAKER_2: And it's like, oh...
SPEAKER_1: I think I have that as a hairpin.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, that's so good.
SPEAKER_2: That's so good.
SPEAKER_2: Is he evil?
SPEAKER_2: Is he good?
SPEAKER_2: Because in general, he's kind of an anti-hero, like more on the side of evil, but not.
SPEAKER_2: Because he captures shadow Pokémon, it doesn't like free them or whatever, but it's also kind of chill.
SPEAKER_1: But also characters can change.
SPEAKER_1: And it's been almost 10 years.
SPEAKER_1: God, can Miror B have a kid called Minor B?
SPEAKER_2: That's so good.
SPEAKER_1: Miror B is a dad now.
SPEAKER_2: Miror B is a dad now.
SPEAKER_2: He's got a great dad bod.
SPEAKER_1: God, yeah, he does.
SPEAKER_1: And he's still great at the tango.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, he's still, and, you know, all his other, all his other moves.
SPEAKER_1: All his other moves.
SPEAKER_2: What if he's just, what if he's just doing different dances throughout?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: I like this.
SPEAKER_1: He's every gym leader, but every gym finds a different dance.
SPEAKER_2: God, he's just sort of a wandering gym leader, but it's always Ludicolo.
SPEAKER_1: It's always Ludicolo.
SPEAKER_2: Are there other dancing Pokémon?
SPEAKER_2: Chatot?
SPEAKER_2: Chatot would be very good, because Chatot would just be like repeating his movements exactly.
SPEAKER_1: I think it's a duel battle of like Ludicolo and Chatot.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, it's a combo battle.
SPEAKER_2: I think another important detail, he's friendly now.
SPEAKER_2: He's like, he's mature.
SPEAKER_1: He helps with those raid battles.
SPEAKER_2: He helps with the raid battles.
SPEAKER_2: He's gonna, he has to be, oh, he's not even just in Sword and Shield.
SPEAKER_2: He's gotta be in Pokémon Masters.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, yes.
SPEAKER_2: I need him in my team.
SPEAKER_1: I need him in Minor B as my teammates.
SPEAKER_2: Yes, exactly.
SPEAKER_2: And I think another important detail, his Afro's gotten bigger.
SPEAKER_1: God, at least the size of, like, his whole body before, now just the Afro.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_1: And his Afro gets bigger over the course of the game.
SPEAKER_2: Yes, extremely good.
SPEAKER_2: Minor B also has very good Afro.
SPEAKER_1: It's an inverted Afro.
SPEAKER_2: I think it might actually be a different ball color.
SPEAKER_2: Rather than a Pokéball.
SPEAKER_1: Great ball, altar ball, one of the fun ones, nest ball.
SPEAKER_2: What if it's like...
SPEAKER_1: Premium ball.
SPEAKER_2: Master ball.
SPEAKER_2: It's gotta be a master ball.
SPEAKER_1: Ooh, does that mean Minor B is the champion?
SPEAKER_2: Minor B is the champion is so good.
SPEAKER_2: Miror B could also have been the champion.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, but he got dethroned.
SPEAKER_2: He got dethroned by the sun.
SPEAKER_1: Literally right before he got there to dethrone Miror B, it's like, no, fuck you, I'm the champion now, fight me, literally.
SPEAKER_2: God, is his son the evil one?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, his son leads an evil organization.
SPEAKER_1: An evil organization with master balls.
SPEAKER_2: And also has shadow Pokémon somehow.
SPEAKER_1: For some reason, they're now shadow Pokémon.
SPEAKER_2: He has shadow Pokémon.
SPEAKER_1: I love the imported Pokémon.
SPEAKER_2: These are all the details of how Miror B will appear.
SPEAKER_2: But really, this Craving, I just needed us to acknowledge his existence, because he's the best character this series has ever had.
SPEAKER_2: And I love a lot of the characters in Pokémon.
SPEAKER_1: There are so many good ones.
SPEAKER_2: There are so many good ones, but Miror B is just, ah, he's the best.
SPEAKER_2: Every time I fought him, I was like, this is the, I don't wanna fight this dude.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, no, I wanna be friends with this dude.
SPEAKER_1: He rules.
SPEAKER_1: Are you kidding me?
SPEAKER_2: So much.
SPEAKER_2: He has like two-
SPEAKER_2: He has like two kids who follow him around, I remember, in XD.
SPEAKER_2: I don't know if he does in Colosseum.
SPEAKER_1: God, I need to replay those games again.
SPEAKER_2: But I fully understand why, because who among us wouldn't be like, yeah, I'll follow you.
SPEAKER_2: Are you kidding me?
SPEAKER_1: He's just too cool.
SPEAKER_2: He's just too cool.
SPEAKER_1: That's his superpower.
SPEAKER_2: That's his secret cap.
SPEAKER_2: He's always cool.
SPEAKER_2: Do you want to give me the last craving?
SPEAKER_1: So I want to end the console wars.
SPEAKER_1: I need, I'm tired of war, Brianna.
SPEAKER_1: I'm tired of the endless rampage that is the war.
SPEAKER_1: And I specifically want the end of the console wars.
SPEAKER_2: Clair, the console wars ended a long time ago.
SPEAKER_2: The period often referred to as the console wars in video game history kind of ended when Sega kind of left the console market.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, but I'm talking about that PlayStation 4.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, you're talking about the console cold wars.
SPEAKER_2: Where no one's in direct fighting.
SPEAKER_2: Everyone seems that they're on the same side, right?
SPEAKER_2: Like Microsoft allows Banjo-Kazooie to be in Smash, right?
SPEAKER_2: That's the place that we're at now.
SPEAKER_2: But really, it's still going on.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, in the background.
SPEAKER_1: And that's what I want to end, right?
SPEAKER_1: I don't want this massacre of PlayStation to hang the 360s.
SPEAKER_1: Sorry, that's not the newest Xbox.
SPEAKER_1: The 720s, the ones, right?
SPEAKER_1: How many are there?
SPEAKER_2: There's the ones and then Scarlett is coming out.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, so how are we going to end the console wars?
SPEAKER_1: Is Scarlett going to join us?
SPEAKER_2: It's hard to end a war by taking a specific side in that war.
SPEAKER_2: I think we need one console to rule them all, bring them into the darkness and there bind them.
SPEAKER_2: And I think we have to just completely develop our own.
SPEAKER_2: The Switch may be superior to every other console, but even that hasn't stopped it.
SPEAKER_1: It's just a player in this endless cycle.
SPEAKER_2: It's a player in this endless cycle of war.
SPEAKER_2: And I'm sorry, I don't care how modular it is.
SPEAKER_2: It still is committing war crimes.
SPEAKER_1: Like?
SPEAKER_2: Well, of course we know about the execution of the PlayStation prisoners in Nintendo Land.
SPEAKER_2: And we all know about the murder of Innocence in indie game world.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, what did you think the Red Ring of Death really referred to?
SPEAKER_2: Well, the Red Ring, of course, is a famous battle.
SPEAKER_2: When you saw so many Xboxes die, so I think despite the fact that the Switch is clearly superior to every other console, I think we need to just completely develop a new one.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, all right.
SPEAKER_1: What color is it?
SPEAKER_1: Oh, that's an important question.
SPEAKER_2: I think it's gotta come in multiple colors, right?
SPEAKER_2: This is the future.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_2: What's the default color?
SPEAKER_1: Oh, what if we just make one color for every other console color?
SPEAKER_2: Sorry.
SPEAKER_1: You have the Switch color, you have the Xbox color, you have the PlayStation color.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, so sort of bringing people in, make them confused, think it's their console.
SPEAKER_1: Exactly.
SPEAKER_1: I think you're buying a PlayStation.
SPEAKER_1: Nope, you're buying the PlayStation.
SPEAKER_2: No, it's called the Peace Station.
SPEAKER_2: Because it's all about peace, bringing people together, because that is how you solve conflicts, bringing people together.
SPEAKER_2: And that's what we're gonna do with the Peace Station.
SPEAKER_2: Now, the one thing that I am wondering about, how are we gonna get games on the Peace Station?
SPEAKER_1: We take them.
SPEAKER_2: This is what I mean by peace.
SPEAKER_2: I mean in thievery.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: If I've learned anything from the Assassin's Creed games, it's that peace only comes by thievery and assassins.
SPEAKER_2: That's the only way peace happens.
SPEAKER_1: Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_2: Now, I'm wondering, we gotta have some sort of Rogues Guild here.
SPEAKER_2: We need some sort of Assassin's Guild or something like that, that can covertly bring peace.
SPEAKER_1: An Assassin's Guild of Gamers.
SPEAKER_2: An Assassin's Guild of Gamers.
SPEAKER_1: The Agog.
SPEAKER_2: How are we going to assemble this Assassin's Guild to help bring peace?
SPEAKER_1: So, if you go to any participating Walmart and you buy any of the consoles on your receipt at the very bottom of the fine print, if you read it, if you wanna be part of the Agog, meet tonight at midnight, you'll know where.
SPEAKER_2: And then those who know where?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, they come.
SPEAKER_1: They become part of the elite squad.
SPEAKER_2: Become part of the elite squad.
SPEAKER_1: Because you can't end a war by just like infantry.
SPEAKER_1: You need the elite squad.
SPEAKER_2: My favorite way to bring peace is by using...
SPEAKER_1: An elite squad of rogue trainees.
SPEAKER_2: An elite squad of rogue trainees, sort of like a secret service.
SPEAKER_1: But it's like a secret secret service.
SPEAKER_2: It's a secret secret service.
SPEAKER_2: So it's more secret.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, that makes sense.
SPEAKER_2: What's gonna make people want it more than the other consoles?
SPEAKER_1: Well, it just does it all.
SPEAKER_1: You wouldn't believe.
SPEAKER_2: I would go so far as to say...
SPEAKER_1: It does more.
SPEAKER_2: It does more.
SPEAKER_2: Because not only does it have slots for every single type of game...
SPEAKER_1: In history.
SPEAKER_2: In history, going as far back as Pong.
SPEAKER_1: You want that Pong slot?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: You got that Pong slot.
SPEAKER_2: And it slots everywhere, slots everywhere, and...
SPEAKER_1: More slots than the moon got, creators.
SPEAKER_2: Not only does it have every slot for every game system ever, it also has a slot for Peace Station games.
SPEAKER_2: It has its own types of games.
SPEAKER_1: What's our debut game?
SPEAKER_2: It has to be about peace.
SPEAKER_1: I got it.
SPEAKER_3: What?
SPEAKER_1: High School Robot Mystery Dungeon, Peace Edition.
SPEAKER_3: Nailed it!
SPEAKER_2: Do you want to tell me a bit about Peace Edition?
SPEAKER_3: Pew, pew.
SPEAKER_2: Now there's peace.
SPEAKER_2: Pew, pew.
SPEAKER_2: I like the peace that we're bringing, we're shooting.
SPEAKER_1: They're Peace Bullets now.
SPEAKER_1: Learning peace.
SPEAKER_1: They're learning peace now.
SPEAKER_1: How?
SPEAKER_1: Pieces of history, and that's how it's peace.
SPEAKER_2: Cause as you know, when you know history, that leads to peace.
SPEAKER_2: Yes, absolutely.
SPEAKER_2: That makes perfect sense.
SPEAKER_2: So that's the debut game.
SPEAKER_2: I would also like to suggest maybe a game that isn't a 15 second trailer.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Wait, this is an exclusive because the only way, other way to play it.
SPEAKER_1: It's the peace edition.
SPEAKER_2: It's the peace edition, so it's exclusive.
SPEAKER_1: With real gameplay.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, well we all know it's gonna have Minecraft on it.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Of course.
SPEAKER_2: Skyrim.
SPEAKER_1: You're just saying games that are on every console.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, you could hook up an NES and you got Skyrim and Minecraft.
SPEAKER_2: You're right, you're right.
SPEAKER_2: I think it also has Super, Master Chief.
SPEAKER_1: Mario.
SPEAKER_2: Banjo.
SPEAKER_1: Brothers of Time.
SPEAKER_2: Now on Xbox.
SPEAKER_1: Limited edition.
SPEAKER_2: PlayStation.
SPEAKER_1: Game of the Year.
SPEAKER_1: Peace.
SPEAKER_1: It's just peace three more times.
SPEAKER_1: What's the price?
SPEAKER_2: $69.99.
SPEAKER_1: Damn, that's a good deal.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, cool.
SPEAKER_2: For that game.
SPEAKER_1: Which game?
SPEAKER_2: The game that we just said.
SPEAKER_2: Super...
SPEAKER_2: Yeah?
SPEAKER_1: Super, Master Chief.
SPEAKER_2: Brothers.
SPEAKER_2: Nope, there's Mario in there.
SPEAKER_2: Super, Master Chief.
SPEAKER_1: Mario's Brothers.
SPEAKER_1: There was something between them.
SPEAKER_2: Banjo.
SPEAKER_1: Banjo Brothers.
SPEAKER_1: Limited?
SPEAKER_2: Edition.
SPEAKER_2: PlayStation.
SPEAKER_2: Game of the Year.
SPEAKER_1: Well, it's affordable.
SPEAKER_2: It's affordable.
SPEAKER_2: It's an affordable game.
SPEAKER_2: The console itself, now you can't end a war without spending some money.
SPEAKER_1: It's a steal, really.
SPEAKER_1: It's a steal, just like we stole all the other games.
SPEAKER_1: It's only $42.99, $100.
SPEAKER_1: Zero.
SPEAKER_2: $100.
SPEAKER_1: $100.
SPEAKER_1: It's a steal.
SPEAKER_1: If you steal it, then it's cheaper.
SPEAKER_2: Are we encouraging people to steal our console?
SPEAKER_1: For peace.
SPEAKER_2: For peace.
SPEAKER_2: Do it for peace.
SPEAKER_2: Steal for peace.
SPEAKER_1: In the name of peace.
SPEAKER_1: With a southern accent.
SPEAKER_1: They'll never blame you if you have a southern accent.
SPEAKER_2: Because you're ethical and moral.
SPEAKER_1: You're more moral than them.
SPEAKER_1: Unless the cashier also has a southern accent, then you're kind of fucked.
SPEAKER_2: That's when you have to fight.
SPEAKER_2: No, that's when you summon the Assassin's Guild of Gamers.
SPEAKER_2: But it is peaceful.
SPEAKER_1: It's so peaceful.
SPEAKER_1: You wouldn't believe how much peace there is.
SPEAKER_2: When no one's fighting, that's what peace means.
SPEAKER_1: There's so many pieces everywhere.
SPEAKER_2: Pieces of what?
SPEAKER_1: Everyone.
SPEAKER_2: Great.
SPEAKER_2: This has been Salt Cravings?
SPEAKER_1: And a half.
SPEAKER_2: And a half?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: What's the half?
SPEAKER_1: It's me.
SPEAKER_2: Sorry, what?
SPEAKER_1: I'm the other half.
SPEAKER_2: What?
SPEAKER_2: We're both the halves of Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_1: Exactly.
SPEAKER_1: We're both one half and that's why there's two halves and a half.
SPEAKER_2: No, no, you've done math wrong.
SPEAKER_1: I don't do math wrong.
SPEAKER_2: You've added an extra half.
SPEAKER_1: Where?
SPEAKER_1: Where's the half?
SPEAKER_2: And a half.
SPEAKER_2: That's me.
SPEAKER_2: You said two halves.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: You and me.
SPEAKER_1: I'm the other half.
SPEAKER_1: So this has been Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_1: Thanks for listening to our podcast.
SPEAKER_2: It's a dumb, stupid podcast.
SPEAKER_1: Where we tried to do a live show.
SPEAKER_1: It didn't go so well, but we still delivered.
SPEAKER_2: We are going to do the live show.
SPEAKER_1: Or is it gonna do it?
SPEAKER_1: Just not now?
SPEAKER_2: We're not gonna do it right now.
SPEAKER_1: Just not right now.
SPEAKER_1: Not live.
SPEAKER_1: It's gonna be live, but later.
SPEAKER_2: It'll be live, but later.
SPEAKER_2: It'll be live on another day.
SPEAKER_2: We will keep you up to date as soon as we know a little more about that.
SPEAKER_1: Once we have a working thing.
SPEAKER_2: Once we have a working thing.
SPEAKER_1: Not even gonna set a date until then.
SPEAKER_2: No, until we can confirm that it works.
SPEAKER_2: We will announce it as soon as we can confirm that it works.
SPEAKER_1: You have the Clair Guarantee.
SPEAKER_1: The Clairntee.
SPEAKER_1: And...
SPEAKER_1: Please follow us on social media.
SPEAKER_2: Please follow us on social media.
SPEAKER_2: Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.
SPEAKER_2: At Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_1: Please leave us a review on iTunes or...
SPEAKER_1: There was another one that I learned, actually.
SPEAKER_1: I think it's called Twitcher or Fletcher or something.
SPEAKER_2: Do those, sure, go for it.
SPEAKER_2: Whatever you're listening to.
SPEAKER_1: Parse what I mean and then go do it.
SPEAKER_1: It's not called either of those.
SPEAKER_2: I like that.
SPEAKER_2: Please submit your cravings.
SPEAKER_1: Submit your cravings, give us them, we'll do them.
SPEAKER_2: Or keep them for when we eventually do do a live show.
SPEAKER_2: It probably won't be too long in the future.
SPEAKER_1: Maybe.
SPEAKER_1: We got this.
SPEAKER_2: We got this.
SPEAKER_2: Thank you for your patience.
SPEAKER_2: This isn't a very funny way to end the episode.
SPEAKER_1: Do you want to do the outro?
SPEAKER_1: Just do the outro, Brianna.
SPEAKER_1: Just take us out.
SPEAKER_2: Just our regular outro.
SPEAKER_2: Salt Cravings Done episode finished this not live, but could be southern.
SPEAKER_2: Southern version.
SPEAKER_1: Southern version.
SPEAKER_2: Southern inversion.
SPEAKER_1: Southern inversion.
SPEAKER_2: Southern inversion.
SPEAKER_1: Now it's the northern version.
SPEAKER_2: Miror B, he's where it's at.
SPEAKER_1: Miror B is southern now.
SPEAKER_2: He's southern in the new game.
SPEAKER_1: He drank the potion.
SPEAKER_2: He drank the potion.
SPEAKER_2: Now he's southern.
SPEAKER_2: What was my other craving?
SPEAKER_1: Tell us, Brianna, what was your other craving?
SPEAKER_2: Oh, my name.
SPEAKER_2: My name's southern now.
SPEAKER_1: If you don't say Brianna like Brianna, it's wrong.
SPEAKER_2: It's wrong.
SPEAKER_1: It's the southern virus.
SPEAKER_2: It's the southern virus.