SPEAKER_2: Hello, everyone, and welcome to Brianna.
SPEAKER_2: I'm Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_1: And I'm Craving Salt.
SPEAKER_2: And this is a stupid intro.
SPEAKER_1: What was the, what was the, I'm, I'm Clair.
SPEAKER_1: What was the thought behind this one?
SPEAKER_2: The thought was, wouldn't it be funny if I said that this show was my name and I was the name of the show?
SPEAKER_1: And what would we talk about on Brianna?
SPEAKER_2: I think it would just be everything that I think about ever.
SPEAKER_1: What's something that you think about ever all the time?
SPEAKER_2: Friends of the Table, but that's already what we talk about.
SPEAKER_2: True, true, true, true.
SPEAKER_2: RPGs in general.
SPEAKER_2: I think we would just talk a lot about RPGs.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, like just different RPGs or playing, would we just be playing RPGs?
SPEAKER_1: Would we just become a Tabletop RPG podcast?
SPEAKER_2: If we ever make our Tabletop podcast.
SPEAKER_1: It's called Brianna.
SPEAKER_2: It's called Brianna.
SPEAKER_2: It's simply called Brianna.
SPEAKER_1: And so we use the RPG system called Brianna, where we do just explore your brain.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, good.
SPEAKER_2: A brain explore.
SPEAKER_2: It's like that one episode of the Magic School Bus.
SPEAKER_1: I was gonna say Magic School Bus.
SPEAKER_1: And why is there no RPG like that?
SPEAKER_2: That sounds great, actually.
SPEAKER_1: That sounds really good.
SPEAKER_1: I want the Magic School Bus RPG.
SPEAKER_2: A Magic School Bus RPG sounds amazing.
SPEAKER_1: And like the DM is Miss Frizzle.
SPEAKER_2: Obviously the DM is Miss Frizzle.
SPEAKER_2: Miss Frizzle is just a DM.
SPEAKER_2: But it's just who she is.
SPEAKER_1: And like she just tries to keep you safe.
SPEAKER_1: So like the whole point of like this game is you're supposed to get into trouble and Miss Frizzle, the DM, is trying to keep you out of trouble.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: There's a game out there where you're a baby who's trying to like get hurt as quickly as possible while you're playing.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, no, I think, oh yeah.
SPEAKER_2: All your friend plays as like a parent trying to stop you from getting hurt.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, that's such a wild game.
SPEAKER_1: God, games are so good.
SPEAKER_2: Isn't it called like Who's Your Daddy or something?
SPEAKER_1: That's a bad game, nevermind.
SPEAKER_1: Oh.
SPEAKER_1: So you want to do our podcast?
SPEAKER_2: Was this not the podcast?
SPEAKER_1: I mean, we're supposed to do cravings.
SPEAKER_1: You know, share our cravings, solve our cravings.
SPEAKER_2: I'm just like, I guess I'm not in the right like mindset.
SPEAKER_1: You're in the Brianna mindset.
SPEAKER_2: I'm in the Brianna mindset.
SPEAKER_1: Now you should.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_2: Say whatever, but I guess if you really want to, we can talk about the cravings that we prepared and did and we do on the show and-
SPEAKER_1: I would, I would like that very much.
SPEAKER_1: Especially since I go first.
SPEAKER_1: Please, please.
SPEAKER_2: Clair, you know, I guess if you like, you want to, you don't have to, but if you want to, you can like give me a-
SPEAKER_1: So my first craving is voice acting.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, love to voice act.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, no, I-
SPEAKER_2: No.
SPEAKER_2: Yes, I, well, I love voice acting.
SPEAKER_2: I don't, I don't think I've voice acted before.
SPEAKER_1: Neither have I.
SPEAKER_1: And that-
SPEAKER_2: You're fucking cool.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, imagine if you just had different characters like, oh, this is my, this is my voice character.
SPEAKER_2: I'm not saying we do this in Salt Cravings, but I'm saying we kind of do this in Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_2: I'm doing the Rick's voice.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, you are just kind of doing-
SPEAKER_2: I'm basically doing the, listen.
SPEAKER_2: Basically doing the Rick's voice right now.
SPEAKER_1: Can you just, sorry, can you just say something that Rick's would say in the Rick's voice?
SPEAKER_2: We can fix this problem if I kill him.
SPEAKER_1: That's, yeah, that's Rick's.
SPEAKER_1: What is, so Nia's voice is just sort of like uptight.
SPEAKER_1: She just knows better than you, you know.
SPEAKER_1: I will solve this problem before you.
SPEAKER_1: My favorite thing about voice acting is you can often never tell which two characters are voiced by the same actor.
SPEAKER_2: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
SPEAKER_1: And it just kind of throws me off.
SPEAKER_1: And I just want to like, what is a voice?
SPEAKER_1: You've given us, you've given us the Rick's voice.
SPEAKER_1: What's a voice that you would do that no one would know it was the same person who played Rick's?
SPEAKER_2: Oh.
SPEAKER_1: I'm so curious.
SPEAKER_1: I want to know your non-Rick's voice.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, that's a good question.
SPEAKER_2: I think it would be something.
SPEAKER_1: Maybe it's Nasally.
SPEAKER_1: Maybe it's like a school child.
SPEAKER_2: Nasally isn't that different from, like it's different, but it's not entirely different.
SPEAKER_2: I will say, I think that, what if I was to do Nia?
SPEAKER_1: Do British.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, you want me to do a British voice, do you?
SPEAKER_2: Well, I'm not quite sure.
SPEAKER_2: I'm just trying to-
SPEAKER_1: Just think about tea.
SPEAKER_2: I just sort of get myself into a certain state of mind where I'm trying to embody a person that I would hate.
SPEAKER_2: And that-
SPEAKER_1: Oh, wow.
SPEAKER_2: Can't do kind of a British type of thing for me.
SPEAKER_2: Not that I hate all British people.
SPEAKER_2: But this is sort of-
SPEAKER_1: Really saved yourself there.
SPEAKER_2: archetypal British character.
SPEAKER_1: What year is this character from?
SPEAKER_2: Oh, this character is, of course, from 1861.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, wow.
SPEAKER_1: That's very specific.
SPEAKER_1: What happened in 1851?
SPEAKER_2: 1861.
SPEAKER_2: Sorry.
SPEAKER_2: It was smack dab in the middle of the Victorian era.
SPEAKER_2: Of course, the Victorians were very prudish and hated everything that was fun in the world.
SPEAKER_1: Everyone knows, if you talk like this, you're prudish and hate everything in the world.
SPEAKER_2: It's true.
SPEAKER_2: One of the fun things about voice acting is you get to look at linguistics and look at dialects.
SPEAKER_1: That's a very fun part of voice acting.
SPEAKER_1: I also like the part where you sound funny.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, same here.
SPEAKER_2: I actually was recently watching this YouTuber called Snap Cube, who's great.
SPEAKER_1: It's like Snapchat, but instead of just one photo, it's just a cube.
SPEAKER_3: Yeah, nailed it.
SPEAKER_3: Got it.
SPEAKER_2: But she has a thing that is a Sonic 06 fan dub, and it is all of the cut scenes in Sonic 06 with them completely improv-ing a new dub for it.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, so it's better.
SPEAKER_2: It's so much better.
SPEAKER_2: It's so funny.
SPEAKER_2: I highly, highly recommend it.
SPEAKER_2: It's so funny.
SPEAKER_1: Snap Cube?
SPEAKER_2: Snap Cube, Sonic 06 fan dub.
SPEAKER_2: I'll put a link in the description if I remember.
SPEAKER_2: But it's a really, really good time.
SPEAKER_2: And they're all like voice actors.
SPEAKER_2: They're people who do voice acting, and many of them play the same characters.
SPEAKER_2: Like the main girl plays both Sonic and Blaze.
SPEAKER_2: And it's very difficult, I think, to tell exactly like that she is those two.
SPEAKER_2: And it's always really fun the way that a voice can make anything that a character says funny.
SPEAKER_3: Stuff said in this voice is a lot funnier than other voices.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_3: I don't know what this voice is.
SPEAKER_1: It's you're out there picking your apples and you take them.
SPEAKER_3: Oh, I got my apple pickin goin and I'm out here pickin the apples.
SPEAKER_1: How's it taste?
SPEAKER_1: You know?
SPEAKER_3: Oh, it tastes real good.
SPEAKER_2: You slept into Rick's there for a second.
SPEAKER_2: One of the fun things about being trans is you're kind of used to training your voice.
SPEAKER_2: You're used to using more than one voice, right?
SPEAKER_2: There's a much more like comfortable voice.
SPEAKER_2: And then there's a voice you use when you're at work or doing whatever else you need to do.
SPEAKER_1: And when you remember that you need to use a higher voice so that people actually respect you.
SPEAKER_2: It's really interesting the way that you need to use a certain voice.
SPEAKER_1: Or you can go even higher.
SPEAKER_3: So I'm just going to do the rest of the podcast in this voice?
SPEAKER_3: Yeah, me too.
SPEAKER_2: I can no longer go as low as I used to.
SPEAKER_1: So the thing is, I can.
SPEAKER_2: You can?
SPEAKER_1: So one thing about me with voice training is, for a long time, I was very concerned about it.
SPEAKER_1: And then about a year ago, I went, I like scaring cis people with my voice.
SPEAKER_2: Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_2: This is maybe an extremely frustrating answer to most trans girls that I know, but I didn't try to train my voice.
SPEAKER_2: It just sort of happened.
SPEAKER_2: I was in the closet in high school for about two and a half years, which gives you some time to kind of gradually raise your voice.
SPEAKER_2: And I never really intentionally tried to, but I was always good at like doing voices.
SPEAKER_2: But because I didn't intentionally train it, I kind of just moved the thing up rather than expanding my range.
SPEAKER_2: Expanding your range is very, very cool.
SPEAKER_1: And like, yeah, see, that's what I want to do.
SPEAKER_1: And that's why I sort of wanted to keep my original range and just expand it.
SPEAKER_2: Honestly.
SPEAKER_2: And that is, and that's super duper great.
SPEAKER_2: I just didn't.
SPEAKER_2: So I can't, I can't really go down here much anymore.
SPEAKER_1: I'm going to try.
SPEAKER_1: So if I want to, I can go down here.
SPEAKER_1: And this used to be where I would normally speak.
SPEAKER_1: So this feels much more comfortable now.
SPEAKER_1: So I guess I did move up in a sense.
SPEAKER_2: You did move up in a sense.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, I think.
SPEAKER_1: But like, I never lost that ability.
SPEAKER_2: That's pretty fucking cool though, that you were able to, you know, have a pretty singing.
SPEAKER_1: It's real fun for singing.
SPEAKER_1: Cause I can go be a bass if I wanted.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know singing parts.
SPEAKER_1: I want to.
SPEAKER_1: One day I'll know, and then I'll do voice acting, and I'll become the first me doing voice acting.
SPEAKER_2: I was about to ask, like, what would the first was?
SPEAKER_2: Because you were definitely not gonna be the first trans when you do voice acting because of the voice actors for Meowth.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: I love her.
SPEAKER_1: She inspired my Meowth tattoo.
SPEAKER_2: Hell fucking yeah.
SPEAKER_2: I love that.
SPEAKER_2: Meowth is such a good character, and an excellent voice.
SPEAKER_2: And really, what we're seeing here is trans women are better at voices than everybody else.
SPEAKER_1: On average.
SPEAKER_2: On average.
SPEAKER_1: Like, we have to take the statistical sort of average here.
SPEAKER_1: We think about it more.
SPEAKER_2: We absolutely think about it more.
SPEAKER_2: I think it does give us a leg up.
SPEAKER_1: So one thing that this does make, it's a great use for is GMing.
SPEAKER_2: Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_1: I didn't realize this until I started.
SPEAKER_1: And it's very useful for like making it obvious who's speaking when you play a hundred different people.
SPEAKER_2: For sure, for sure.
SPEAKER_2: I think it also helps to listen to tabletop podcasts cause you like kind of get, I don't know.
SPEAKER_1: No, I can never tell.
SPEAKER_1: I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_1: Friends of the Tay Austin and like even Griffin from the adventure zone.
SPEAKER_1: I just, like there are maybe three voices in each one where I'm like, yeah, I know who this is.
SPEAKER_1: I want to do a call and response where I'm going to do a voice and you're going to, you're going to do the voice after me.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, that sounds fun.
SPEAKER_1: All right.
SPEAKER_1: So I'm going to start easy.
SPEAKER_1: I'm going to do, no, I'm going to do a Rick's voice.
SPEAKER_1: This is my Rick's voice.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, you're going to do a Rick's voice?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_3: Good.
SPEAKER_1: You got it.
SPEAKER_1: Nailed it.
SPEAKER_1: Now I'm down here.
SPEAKER_3: Now you're down there.
SPEAKER_1: I'm a big strong orc.
SPEAKER_3: I'm a big strong orc.
SPEAKER_1: Got it.
SPEAKER_1: Sure.
SPEAKER_3: I'm a canary.
SPEAKER_1: This is great.
SPEAKER_1: It's a good audio.
SPEAKER_1: This is fun for me.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know if the listeners are enjoying themselves.
SPEAKER_2: Fuck the listeners.
SPEAKER_1: You heard it here first.
SPEAKER_2: No, thank you for listening.
SPEAKER_1: This is probably the first time I've ever lowered my voice to someone who can hear in years.
SPEAKER_1: So it's a real treat.
SPEAKER_1: No shame about your voice.
SPEAKER_2: No shame about your voice.
SPEAKER_2: That's what we're all about here at Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, we host a podcast.
SPEAKER_1: There kind of has to be no shame.
SPEAKER_2: We're not into shaming voices here.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_1: So that was fun.
SPEAKER_2: It was actually a really good warmup for my first Craving.
SPEAKER_2: Because keep that voice ready.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, good.
SPEAKER_2: Because my next Craving is one that I think I talked about the fact that it would be on the show in episode zero.
SPEAKER_3: Musical theater.
SPEAKER_1: I was going to say Loot Boxes.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, no, that's an anti-craving that I have.
SPEAKER_2: I have an anti-craving for Loot Boxes, but I have a big Craving for musical theater.
SPEAKER_2: We went and saw our friend's choir performance the other day, which was super duper good.
SPEAKER_2: Shout outs to Out in Harmony, a great gay choir here in Vancouver.
SPEAKER_2: You left it, I think being like, damn, I want to do choir.
SPEAKER_1: I leave every, every single time I go to, I'm like, I want to do choir.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: And I left it going, I want to do musical theater.
SPEAKER_1: I also want to do musical theater though.
SPEAKER_1: We talked about it after the show.
SPEAKER_1: We did.
SPEAKER_2: I haven't done musical theater since high school.
SPEAKER_2: I had a lot of fun with it when we did things.
SPEAKER_2: We did like Les Mis.
SPEAKER_2: And Here in Town, which is a weird show.
SPEAKER_1: Here in Town, the all time most popular.
SPEAKER_2: It's a weird show about peeing.
SPEAKER_2: That's not a joke.
SPEAKER_2: That's the show.
SPEAKER_2: I haven't gotten to do it since partly because I am what the kids call disabled.
SPEAKER_2: That means-
SPEAKER_1: What do the adults call it?
SPEAKER_3: Bad things.
SPEAKER_2: And so I haven't had a lot of opportunities to do musical theater because most of it involves moving around a lot with your body, which my body can't do anymore, which means we need to write a new musical.
SPEAKER_1: Ah, I'm so ready.
SPEAKER_2: So, Clair, let's talk about the musical that we're gonna write.
SPEAKER_2: I think it's a little ambitious for us to plan out all the songs here right now, but we can talk broadly.
SPEAKER_1: What's the showstopper?
SPEAKER_1: What's the song that brings the audience to tears?
SPEAKER_1: We're gonna perform it here live.
SPEAKER_1: First thing here.
SPEAKER_2: You don't start with the showstopper.
SPEAKER_1: Well, I mean, but the thing is you do.
SPEAKER_1: It's always a refrain of the first song.
SPEAKER_2: Of course it's a, okay, it's a reprise.
SPEAKER_2: It's a reprise of the first song, but first we should maybe decide what the musical's about.
SPEAKER_1: What if it's, okay, now I know this is never the most fun thing to do, but what if it's about being disabled in theater?
SPEAKER_2: God, a meta musical is very much the type of shit that I would do.
SPEAKER_2: I was, me and a friend had a concept for a musical about like kids who have superpowers that only activate when they sing, so that's why they have to sing.
SPEAKER_2: I'm all about musicals that come up with reasons why people keep bursting out into song.
SPEAKER_2: It's not funny.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, I have, so there's one scene.
SPEAKER_1: It can make you cry.
SPEAKER_2: So my-
SPEAKER_2: Our musical is gonna make you cry.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, so my favorite musical, I have to say it because we're talking about musical theater, is Fun Home, which absolutely makes me cry.
SPEAKER_1: Literally every single time I listen to the album, like sometimes at work, I'll just be like, you know what?
SPEAKER_1: This morning's a Fun Home album morning.
SPEAKER_1: I'll just be like, yeah, no, I can do this.
SPEAKER_1: And then I'll be crying at 10 a.m.
SPEAKER_1: at work.
SPEAKER_1: And I'm like, why did I do this to myself?
SPEAKER_2: Fun Home is so fucking good.
SPEAKER_2: I love changing my major.
SPEAKER_2: It's such a good gay.
SPEAKER_1: Mine is Telephone Wires.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, it's so good.
SPEAKER_2: Fun Home is much better than anything we could ever make.
SPEAKER_2: But we can still make something.
SPEAKER_2: So if we want to go down the road.
SPEAKER_1: I just want to like plan out one scene.
SPEAKER_1: This is how one song goes, right?
SPEAKER_1: And like, I don't know how this fits in.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know why this happens, but I just want, imagine you have a full choir up on the stage and you have a character burst open a door and the door opens and props like slide apart like curtains in order to show this whole choir and the choir starts singing.
SPEAKER_1: And the reason the character is here is because it's about to become a shootout.
SPEAKER_3: Oh my God.
SPEAKER_1: And so the choir is singing in the background as like these two people in a shootout sing to each other.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, I love songs of conflict.
SPEAKER_2: That's extremely good.
SPEAKER_2: I think if it's a shootout, hey, hey, Clair.
SPEAKER_1: Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_2: Hey, Clair.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: You know what hasn't been done enough?
SPEAKER_2: What about-
SPEAKER_2: A gay cowboy musical.
SPEAKER_1: All right, I'm ready.
SPEAKER_2: We could do that.
SPEAKER_1: We're going downtown.
SPEAKER_2: We're going downtown.
SPEAKER_1: And by downtown, I mean the corner store cause there ain't no big city anymore.
SPEAKER_1: There's only small towns.
SPEAKER_2: Yep, it's the wild, wild west.
SPEAKER_1: So welcome to the wild west.
SPEAKER_1: We're gonna sing for you.
SPEAKER_2: I don't have a plot that could possibly be good about a western musical because westerns suck.
SPEAKER_1: Disability in western civilization.
SPEAKER_1: Honestly, maybe better.
SPEAKER_2: Maybe better, almost certainly better.
SPEAKER_2: Turns out it's hard to come up with a musical on spot.
SPEAKER_1: Wait, but I thought, it wasn't Fun Home written on a napkin, on a train and then turned into seven, sorry, eight feature length movies that were sold and what?
SPEAKER_2: God, let's learn in the ring.
SPEAKER_2: Right.
SPEAKER_2: But I think that you could do a western musical with a disabled protagonist.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, oh, western wheelchairs sound fucking-
SPEAKER_1: Western wheelchairs?
SPEAKER_2: That sounds shit.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, the western wheelchair gang.
SPEAKER_1: Welcome to the western wheelchair outback.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I love it.
SPEAKER_2: It's just like a wild west town.
SPEAKER_1: Are they like up against someone or are they just?
SPEAKER_2: What if they are outlaws?
SPEAKER_2: What if outlaws?
SPEAKER_2: What if wild west outlaws?
SPEAKER_1: Is it like a town of outlaws?
SPEAKER_1: Like this is the sanctuary for outlaws.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, this is the sanctuary for outlaws, but it's mostly good people because the wild west, again, was terrible and fuck US expansionism and everything.
SPEAKER_1: Right, so it was people who broke the law, which isn't necessarily the bad thing, but they are technically outlaws.
SPEAKER_2: They're outlaws and it's, you know, maybe it is people defending this town against cowboys.
SPEAKER_2: The outlaws are the good guys.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: It has a disabled protagonist, who's a badass woman that I can play because that's a crucial thing about this.
SPEAKER_1: You're gonna be in it.
SPEAKER_2: I'm gonna be in it.
SPEAKER_2: You can be in it too.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, I'll be like one of the evil cops.
SPEAKER_2: You're gonna be, wait, you wanna be a cop?
SPEAKER_1: I mean, that's like the sheriffs, right?
SPEAKER_1: Sheriffs were just cops with pointy stars.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, that's true.
SPEAKER_2: That's true.
SPEAKER_2: That's exactly what they were.
SPEAKER_2: I'm just surprised that you were like, hmm, who do I wanna play in this?
SPEAKER_1: No, you know why?
SPEAKER_1: Because the antagonists always get the best songs.
SPEAKER_2: True.
SPEAKER_2: You gotta get on that Javert shit.
SPEAKER_2: That would actually be super fun.
SPEAKER_2: Can we just be, we'll just be like enemies.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, that's right.
SPEAKER_1: See, that's the best part.
SPEAKER_2: And it's got two leading women, which is excellent.
SPEAKER_2: It's extremely good.
SPEAKER_2: People are going to be extremely horny for your character.
SPEAKER_1: I guess so.
SPEAKER_2: We're just gonna sample a bunch of other music.
SPEAKER_2: No.
SPEAKER_1: And the thing is we don't call our like rendition of the beginning music a reprise.
SPEAKER_1: It is a refrain now because you refrain from following the law.
SPEAKER_2: You know what a refrain is?
SPEAKER_1: It's a part of a song thing.
SPEAKER_1: I don't remember what.
SPEAKER_1: I do know it is a word in music already.
SPEAKER_2: From what I remember of music, I could be wrong.
SPEAKER_2: I'm fairly certain a refrain is like the part where the music pulls back.
SPEAKER_1: Well, see, this is the new kind of refrain where the music not only pulls back, but it pulls back the curtain and it exposes everything and you're left out to dry.
SPEAKER_2: Can we do some cool shit with curtains in this musical?
SPEAKER_2: Oh, absolutely.
SPEAKER_2: Because it's like it's an outlaw channel, so you've got to have people like hiding behind curtains in ways that the audience can see, the characters can't necessarily see.
SPEAKER_1: We can have like, oh, dang, what if we have like layers of curtains and we just have different curtains?
SPEAKER_1: And some of the curtains are like transparent or translucent, and you can see shadows.
SPEAKER_1: We're just doing a shadow show at one point.
SPEAKER_2: We are, but there's, and this also reminds me of, you know, those old like shoot them up Western games?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Like where it's like lines of like figures on cardboard cutouts or wood cutouts.
SPEAKER_2: We're trying to mirror that because there was always Cowboys shooting outlaws.
SPEAKER_2: The outlaws get arranged like that, which is very fun.
SPEAKER_1: So we, so we have one of our shootouts in a choir.
SPEAKER_2: Yes, we have a shootout in a choir.
SPEAKER_2: It's between me and you, of course.
SPEAKER_2: That's the climactic scene.
SPEAKER_1: Is that the climactic, is it like, I think so.
SPEAKER_1: Do you walk into it or do I walk into it?
SPEAKER_1: Like who's the one who pulls back the curtains?
SPEAKER_2: I mean, this is the question of like, who's got the established power at this point?
SPEAKER_2: Has it like become that like the sheriffs are running all over town and are like trying to take it over and so it's me running.
SPEAKER_1: What if I, what if I ran y'all out of town?
SPEAKER_1: Like, and then this is your big comeback.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I like that a lot.
SPEAKER_2: I like that a lot.
SPEAKER_2: And so then you lose.
SPEAKER_2: And then I know the antagonist wins in this one, actually.
SPEAKER_3: It's a fun thing.
SPEAKER_2: We're doing a fun thing where it's sad, where it's like it's a fun Western romp about outlaws.
SPEAKER_2: In fairness, that is a narrative device that is used sometimes.
SPEAKER_1: It's never well.
SPEAKER_2: It's never used well.
SPEAKER_2: It's not a good narrative device, but it is a narrative device that is used.
SPEAKER_2: The true good narrative device is when you want the protagonist to lose and they win.
SPEAKER_2: But no, in this case, it's going to be good girl and bad girl.
SPEAKER_2: No, not with that phrasing.
SPEAKER_1: That's the name of the song.
SPEAKER_3: It's called Good Girl and Bad Girl.
SPEAKER_1: Now, the thing is, I'm the good girl.
SPEAKER_3: Oh, that's fun.
SPEAKER_2: The Ballad of Evil and Good.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, because I'm the sheriff, right?
SPEAKER_1: So I'm the good girl.
SPEAKER_1: And that's the whole thing is like, is good truly the protagonist?
SPEAKER_2: I know.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, this is good.
SPEAKER_2: This is very, very good or bad.
SPEAKER_1: Hmm.
SPEAKER_2: Whoa.
SPEAKER_2: I'm glad we've made this.
SPEAKER_2: It's gonna have some great wheelchair dance sequences.
SPEAKER_2: I will have to figure out how that works because I don't currently use a wheelchair, but would love to learn how to.
SPEAKER_2: It's a little bit harder to dance with a cane because you're kind of more active in that.
SPEAKER_1: There are currently dances that use canes, not in like the using a cane aspect.
SPEAKER_2: There are, the thing is, Clair, those are for able-bodied people.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Because the thing about, well, my condition, at least.
SPEAKER_1: Two canes, just use two canes.
SPEAKER_2: Well, no, Clair, I think you may misunderstand how my condition works, which is strenuous activity causes my body to die.
SPEAKER_2: Three canes, fuck it.
SPEAKER_2: Six canes, fuck you.
SPEAKER_2: Who gives a shit?
SPEAKER_2: Nothing matters.
SPEAKER_1: Welcome to our musical called Six Canes.
SPEAKER_2: It's just six canes.
SPEAKER_2: I like this idea.
SPEAKER_1: We have to cast Michael Caine.
SPEAKER_3: Yeah, you want to know an accent I can't do?
SPEAKER_2: Michael, Michael Caine.
SPEAKER_1: Michael Caine.
SPEAKER_1: Batman, sometimes we follow that.
SPEAKER_1: What is the line?
SPEAKER_3: I don't fucking know.
SPEAKER_2: Why would I know what Batman is?
SPEAKER_1: What is Batman?
SPEAKER_2: What are Batman?
SPEAKER_2: What are dogs?
SPEAKER_2: I think that is going to help save our craving.
SPEAKER_2: We'll just have to write this whole musical and then perform it and it'll get on Broadway and we'll be rich.
SPEAKER_1: Out next week.
SPEAKER_2: I have a little thing, which is I received definitely an audience craving.
SPEAKER_1: You say this so suspiciously.
SPEAKER_2: Well, it's from a bit of a weird source, you see.
SPEAKER_2: It seems to have traveled between dimensions.
SPEAKER_1: Sorry, is this just yourself?
SPEAKER_3: Are you just trying to do a third craving?
SPEAKER_2: Trust me, this is not my craving.
SPEAKER_2: This is, well, some might call it a new bit that I'm doing.
SPEAKER_3: Oh no.
SPEAKER_1: Do you have an intro song for this craving?
SPEAKER_2: I would, but I can't stop myself from just copying the Doctor Who theme.
SPEAKER_2: This is Cravings from the 5th Dimension.
SPEAKER_1: Great.
SPEAKER_2: So, here's a craving I've received, and I think we'll be able to solve it, even though we're on our dimensions.
SPEAKER_2: So, hello.
SPEAKER_2: I keep getting my tentacles stuck in a Rascal Mac jar, and it's made me really crave-
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, it's a Rascal Mac jar, and it's made me really crave some sort of way to get my Rascal Macs each year.
SPEAKER_2: Tupperware is, of course, banned on Exelon 5, and I've tried a long Snurzel, and that doesn't seem to help.
SPEAKER_2: Thanks, love the Snodcast, and that is from Bleezel Bappen in Bark Thought.
SPEAKER_2: So how can we help solve this cra-
SPEAKER_3: How can we help solve this craving, Clair?
SPEAKER_2: So we may be lacking some details, potentially.
SPEAKER_1: You think?
SPEAKER_1: Now I just want to say, when you say this was sent in.
SPEAKER_1: Someone besides you wrote this?
SPEAKER_2: I mean, I think it's pretty clear that Bleezel Bappen in Bark Thought wrote this.
SPEAKER_2: It was so hard to understand.
SPEAKER_2: It came through on the interdimensional waves from the fifth dimension.
SPEAKER_1: Which, which dimension is that?
SPEAKER_2: The fifth one.
SPEAKER_3: Which one are we in?
SPEAKER_2: The second one.
SPEAKER_1: What was the thing that this person, this person?
SPEAKER_2: It's definitely a person.
SPEAKER_2: I think we can agree.
SPEAKER_1: What are they trying to get?
SPEAKER_2: So they're trying to get their Wrestle Max from the Wrestle Max jar.
SPEAKER_1: So if I know anything about Wrestle Machia, it's that if you turn your channel to the wrestling channel, you'll find your Wrestle Max in there.
SPEAKER_2: Right.
SPEAKER_2: I think it's Wrestle Max, but I think it's the same thing.
SPEAKER_1: It's the same thing.
SPEAKER_1: Well, see, Wrestle, Wrestle-ing is just when you wrestle with your muscles.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: I think that that's maybe part of the problem because it sounds like this person just has tentacles.
SPEAKER_1: They need some muscles to get to do the wrestling.
SPEAKER_2: So do you think there's something that would work better than like a long snozzle like they've used?
SPEAKER_2: Like some, like maybe a muscly arm?
SPEAKER_2: Should we send this to them?
SPEAKER_1: Maybe a snozzle.
SPEAKER_2: A snozzle might be a good idea for your Ruscle Max.
SPEAKER_1: Now this is just the plural of a nozzle, but it's pluralized before it exists, obviously.
SPEAKER_2: Of course it's pluralistic.
SPEAKER_2: It's a snozzle and it's connected to a snackium.
SPEAKER_1: Yes.
SPEAKER_2: Which is like a vacuum, but it's for snacks.
SPEAKER_2: They should be able to kind of get it out with that snozzle.
SPEAKER_2: Just sort of give it the good suck.
SPEAKER_1: Give it the good suck.
SPEAKER_2: That's our advice, I think, for this issue.
SPEAKER_2: And that's how we're gonna help you solve that craving.
SPEAKER_1: I'm so glad we're done with this.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, this is definitely the only time that we're gonna get a craving from the Fifth Dimension.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Definitely we're not gonna get any more.
SPEAKER_2: It was clearly a one-time thing.
SPEAKER_1: God, all right, well, I'm glad we're closing the gate on the Fifth Dimension.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, let me just close...
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I definitely closed it.
SPEAKER_3: Good.
SPEAKER_2: Definitely closed it.
SPEAKER_1: I'm glad.
SPEAKER_3: 100%.
SPEAKER_2: Can you give me one of your cravings?
SPEAKER_1: So my last craving, not the last craving of the podcast.
SPEAKER_2: But your last craving, because you do too and I do too, and that's how the podcast works.
SPEAKER_1: That's how it works, you see.
SPEAKER_1: So my last craving is having healthcare.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, wait, do you not have healthcare?
SPEAKER_1: No.
SPEAKER_1: So I work at a startup.
SPEAKER_1: And so the biggest thing about startups is they love to tell you how much you're going to be contributing, how much you're going to make a difference, how you're going to play an active role.
SPEAKER_1: And for the most part you do, because there really isn't much product yet.
SPEAKER_2: Yes.
SPEAKER_1: So you do, you make a lot of the product, you have a big hand in the product, and also you don't have health care, because they can't afford, well, I mean, they can afford health care, but see, are they going to pay for it?
SPEAKER_1: Not necessarily.
SPEAKER_2: Benefits are a tough thing to get in our society.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, benefits like, you know, dental.
SPEAKER_2: Being able to live, yeah.
SPEAKER_1: Being able to go to the dentist is, you know, a benefit.
SPEAKER_2: So I'm on disability and in BC that comes with some perks and benefits because it's kind of assumed that you're not working a full-time job because you can't, yeah, you can go camping because you can't work a full-time job because of the income limits.
SPEAKER_2: But what that means they give you is they do give you some more health care.
SPEAKER_2: They give you dental, they give you some eye care.
SPEAKER_2: And it's one of the reasons why I feel like the benefits that you get on disability are just things that everyone should have.
SPEAKER_2: Because it's very basic things that a lot of jobs don't offer.
SPEAKER_2: And health care is needed even in this magical land of Canada.
SPEAKER_1: It's like the concept of a minimal base income, where it's just like everyone makes money regardless of what you do just in order to be able to exist.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, which is essentially what happens on disability, though you don't get enough to really exist.
SPEAKER_2: Anyway, the point is, you deserve health care.
SPEAKER_1: The thing is, everyone does.
SPEAKER_1: My favorite thing is to rally the troops, sort of.
SPEAKER_1: I love talking about health care to my co-workers, who are also very into the idea of us having health care.
SPEAKER_2: Really?
SPEAKER_2: That's shocking to me that they're so into the idea of wanting to have fucking health care.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, not just fucking health care, but regular doctor health care.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, fucking health care is also important and should also be, you know, a thing.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, get tested regularly.
SPEAKER_2: Get tested regularly, have safe sex, etc.
SPEAKER_1: Welcome to Salt Cravings, a show about telling you what to do with medicine.
SPEAKER_1: Inject that shit.
SPEAKER_2: We're doctors.
SPEAKER_1: We're doctors now.
SPEAKER_1: This is my PhD.
SPEAKER_1: I'm holding it up to the mic.
SPEAKER_1: You can hear it rustle.
SPEAKER_2: There it is.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_2: 100%.
SPEAKER_2: Maybe we should kind of explain non-BC people.
SPEAKER_2: That's true.
SPEAKER_2: God, it really is different.
SPEAKER_2: Because BC has specific things that you don't get here.
SPEAKER_2: Including medication coverage.
SPEAKER_2: Is that covered elsewhere?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: What?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: You just don't have to pay for your medications?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, under a lot of medical plans, you don't have to.
SPEAKER_2: I've been on my parents' insurance because I was in school.
SPEAKER_2: And because of that, I was able to get medication for free.
SPEAKER_2: Some of it, at least.
SPEAKER_2: I still pay for my ADHD meds because that is not considered crucial.
SPEAKER_1: Wild.
SPEAKER_2: But the government now covers most of my things because of being on disability, including medication.
SPEAKER_2: But most people don't get medication covered, which sucks.
SPEAKER_1: That's great.
SPEAKER_2: Dental not covered.
SPEAKER_1: Wow.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, I know that one.
SPEAKER_2: My dental is covered.
SPEAKER_2: But in general, dental is not covered.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I know.
SPEAKER_1: Dentists are expensive.
SPEAKER_1: And I recently learned because it's apparently because they have the highest tuition ever.
SPEAKER_2: Also, I think that dental programs are really rare and hard to get into.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, it's kind of like they feel like they can charge the most because they spend the most, which is really, you know, it's like a sunk cost fallacy.
SPEAKER_2: Anyway, how?
SPEAKER_1: How do we solve the craving?
SPEAKER_2: The craving of healthcare.
SPEAKER_2: There's this great and fun and really interesting thing called unions and I've talked about this to my co-workers.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, so my first bit of advice is get, you know, labor organizing like there's a big push to do it and more software development.
SPEAKER_2: We just saw and journalism and stuff like that specifically the gaming industry, but also start up.
SPEAKER_2: We just saw we just saw a Vox a Vox Union come together.
SPEAKER_1: Oh good.
SPEAKER_1: So you see unions are good.
SPEAKER_1: Please don't let corporations tell you otherwise.
SPEAKER_2: Please don't let corporations tell you otherwise.
SPEAKER_2: You're not Delta ad.
SPEAKER_1: God don't don't unionize just buy a goddamn switch.
SPEAKER_1: Sorry.
SPEAKER_1: Was it a switch?
SPEAKER_2: I think it was like a Xbox.
SPEAKER_1: Good just buy an Xbox.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, unionize.
SPEAKER_1: You don't need to care about your teeth.
SPEAKER_1: If you're playing Xbox.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I got my card.
SPEAKER_1: All I need is this shooter.
SPEAKER_1: I don't need dental.
SPEAKER_2: No dental just card.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know why I went for that.
SPEAKER_2: I don't know.
SPEAKER_2: Still Wild West on the brain.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, is that Wild West?
SPEAKER_2: No, maybe one day if enough people unionize we can be powerful enough.
SPEAKER_1: What are we asking as a union?
SPEAKER_1: What are the benefits that we ask as a union?
SPEAKER_1: Everyone has to wear everyone has their assigned clown nose.
SPEAKER_1: And if you don't come into work with your clown nose, it is like St.
SPEAKER_1: Patrick's Day where everyone gets to pinch you.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, this is a good union demand.
SPEAKER_2: Another great union demand be ball pit.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, but every office has to have a ball.
SPEAKER_2: Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_1: You know, those tech industry like companies are all about like, you know, we got a kitchen.
SPEAKER_1: We got a gym.
SPEAKER_1: Fuck you.
SPEAKER_1: I want a goddamn ball pit.
SPEAKER_2: Fuck you.
SPEAKER_2: Listen, fuck your beanbag chairs.
SPEAKER_2: Give me a ball pit.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, and then I can go soak in the balls.
SPEAKER_1: What's another good union demand?
SPEAKER_1: Oh, mini unions.
SPEAKER_1: We each get our own mini union.
SPEAKER_1: So every employee gets a mini union.
SPEAKER_1: And so they're like, you have an individualized union and it's a union of one.
SPEAKER_1: You're union with yourself.
SPEAKER_1: And so every employee gets one special demand.
SPEAKER_1: And it's like a wish, but it's like your company's granting your wish.
SPEAKER_2: And it can be anything?
SPEAKER_1: It can be anything.
SPEAKER_1: The great thing about companies, now this is why capitalism is good, is because companies have magic powers like genies that can grant you wishes.
SPEAKER_2: Yep, that sounds right.
SPEAKER_2: That sounds like a real, totally real thing that is real.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know why you seem so shocked by this.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, no, that makes perfect sense.
SPEAKER_2: That's why capitalism is so good.
SPEAKER_2: I have a great demand for a union.
SPEAKER_2: All landlords now have to allow pets.
SPEAKER_2: Now, I know that that isn't related to you, but I'm really mad about it.
SPEAKER_2: And I'm also really mad about landlords in general.
SPEAKER_2: So I think a part of the union to be, you have to go talk to landlords and make them...
SPEAKER_2: Door by door.
SPEAKER_2: Door by door, you have to go lobby landlords.
SPEAKER_3: Have you heard the good news?
SPEAKER_2: You have to allow people to have pets now.
SPEAKER_2: You have to allow people to have pets.
SPEAKER_2: You also have to not charge exorbitant prices.
SPEAKER_2: And you also have to...
SPEAKER_1: A livable income, Brianna, it's only $1,600 a month for a one bedroom.
SPEAKER_2: That's nothing.
SPEAKER_1: It's nothing.
SPEAKER_1: The average person in Vancouver with a tech job can't even afford that.
SPEAKER_2: We just got a place for...
SPEAKER_2: What's it all together?
SPEAKER_2: It's $13.30 for a two bedroom, and everyone we tell this to is like, what the fuck?
SPEAKER_2: That's incredible.
SPEAKER_2: How did you manage that?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, that's gonna be my reaction right now.
SPEAKER_1: What the fuck?
SPEAKER_1: How did you manage that?
SPEAKER_2: Well, you see, it's being sublet by UBC students and also a grimy as all hell.
SPEAKER_2: But we cleaned it up, and now it looks great.
SPEAKER_1: Got those grime flavors.
SPEAKER_2: We can also maybe lobby for more spices in kitchens.
SPEAKER_2: In like the workplace, but in general too.
SPEAKER_1: My workplace doesn't have sugar or salt right now.
SPEAKER_2: Your workplace...
SPEAKER_2: Listen!
SPEAKER_2: Here's the demands.
SPEAKER_2: Your workplace needs sugar and salt at the very least.
SPEAKER_2: You at least need salt.
SPEAKER_2: Get some pepper in there too.
SPEAKER_2: Do you have pepper in there?
SPEAKER_1: I think so?
SPEAKER_2: Oh my God.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, you better have pepper in there.
SPEAKER_2: Not to mention, let's get paprika.
SPEAKER_2: Let's get some good spices in there.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, name some more.
SPEAKER_2: Ginger?
SPEAKER_2: How about...
SPEAKER_2: Let's get some herbs in there too.
SPEAKER_2: Get some basil.
SPEAKER_2: Are you just quizzing me on spices and herbs?
SPEAKER_1: No, I just think this is a really good thing for a comedy podcast, is just to list spices.
SPEAKER_1: This is really peak comedy.
SPEAKER_2: I don't know, should have spices for like a curry.
SPEAKER_2: Oh man, feeling like curry.
SPEAKER_1: So the thing is, I told my coworkers, I was like, we have a whole kitchen, we should be like cooking, like we can do communal meals, like one of us cooks, and then like their response was, yeah, but you get so tired after you cook, and like I just want to go to sleep afterwards, and it's like, I guess so, but also like you wouldn't be cooking most of the time.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, usually be other people cooking for you.
SPEAKER_1: Also, how do you ever like cook anything then?
SPEAKER_1: Do you just like, are you just like, you flip your pan, you put it on the plate, and you collapse onto the floor because you're sleeping now?
SPEAKER_2: I've definitely nearly been this.
SPEAKER_2: Like as a person with low energy, who does not cook much, I've definitely made a meal in which I cooked the meal, and it was like a little bit more complex than what I usually do, which is pasta.
SPEAKER_2: And I cooked it, and I ate it, and then I went, and I never wanted to do anything ever again.
SPEAKER_1: I kind of feel that.
SPEAKER_1: Yesterday, I worked from like 830 to 630, and then I came home and cooked for two hours and made enchiladas.
SPEAKER_1: And so I ate dinner at about 930, and I was so tired, but honestly, they're worth it.
SPEAKER_1: Eat enchiladas.
SPEAKER_1: Eat some enchiladas?
SPEAKER_1: I'm not going to tell you how to make them.
SPEAKER_1: Figure it out.
SPEAKER_2: I can't even make fun food anyway, because I'm in the midst of moving, which means I'm trying to use up all of my fucking ingredients.
SPEAKER_1: Got your hard-boiled egg and relish.
SPEAKER_2: Today, I had an instant ramen that was like spiced up a little bit with an egg in it.
SPEAKER_2: No, I'm not a monster.
SPEAKER_2: But what I am is in favor of unions.
SPEAKER_2: And so that's the best way for you to get health care.
SPEAKER_1: Everybody needs to come together, make a union of unions.
SPEAKER_2: Make a union of unions.
SPEAKER_1: Make a macro union.
SPEAKER_1: All the unions can become one union now.
SPEAKER_3: The Voltron Union!
SPEAKER_3: Form Union!
SPEAKER_1: Do you want to give me our final craving of our episode?
SPEAKER_2: So, the thing about Solitaire...
SPEAKER_2: is that Solitaire is a great game.
SPEAKER_2: I think we can all agree, Solitaire is a great game.
SPEAKER_2: And there's two versions of Solitaire that are good.
SPEAKER_2: And that's Solitaire and Spider Solitaire.
SPEAKER_2: Fuck every other version of Solitaire.
SPEAKER_2: Fuck your Free Cell.
SPEAKER_2: Fuck your TriPeace.
SPEAKER_2: It's garbage.
SPEAKER_2: All of it's garbage.
SPEAKER_1: The only reason I'm not reacting like, Oh my God, there's more than one version of Solitaire is because Brianna literally talked about this five days ago to me.
SPEAKER_2: I was at a party and I went off about Solitaire.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, so now you're gonna do it again.
SPEAKER_1: So go off.
SPEAKER_2: There's a whole bunch of different types of Solitaire.
SPEAKER_1: Spider Solitaire.
SPEAKER_2: So Spider Solitaire is like you are trying to...
SPEAKER_1: You beat a spider.
SPEAKER_1: Yep, you beat a spider.
SPEAKER_1: You have to smush the spider with the cards.
SPEAKER_2: You have to smush the spider with the cards.
SPEAKER_1: And if there are any spiders alive at the end of the game, you lose.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, that's it.
SPEAKER_2: That's it.
SPEAKER_1: It's a very anti spider game.
SPEAKER_2: It's a bunch of cards face down with one card face up and you put cards, much like Solitaire, cards in sequence on top of other cards and you try to make a whole stack on the field.
SPEAKER_2: And then when you make a whole stack, you get to take it away.
SPEAKER_2: It's very hard to explain a game of Solitaire, which is why I'm not going to explain the bad ones, but trust me, they're bad.
SPEAKER_2: And most Solitaire apps out there either make use of one of these versions.
SPEAKER_2: Try Peaks is a really popular way, which is like you are trying to connect cards in sequence.
SPEAKER_1: So can we make a new Solitaire?
SPEAKER_2: What do I want?
SPEAKER_2: No, Clair, Clair, they've solved Solitaire.
SPEAKER_1: No.
SPEAKER_2: They made it good.
SPEAKER_2: They made it perfect.
SPEAKER_1: This is the thing.
SPEAKER_2: We have to...
SPEAKER_1: Now I want to build anti-spider Solitaire.
SPEAKER_1: This is a Solitaire where you try to kill as many spiders as possible.
SPEAKER_1: I love spiders.
SPEAKER_1: But this is a game where you try to kill as many spiders as possible.
SPEAKER_2: This can be a part of what my actual craving is, because my actual craving...
SPEAKER_1: This wasn't your...
SPEAKER_1: You just wanted to talk about Solitaire?
SPEAKER_2: My actual craving is for the perfect Solitaire app.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, my God.
SPEAKER_2: Because Solitaire is fun.
SPEAKER_2: You know what's more fun?
SPEAKER_2: A leveling system.
SPEAKER_2: So there are...
SPEAKER_1: Every spider you kill, you get points.
SPEAKER_2: Yes.
SPEAKER_2: There are Solitaire apps with a leveling system, but they are either just traditional Solitaire, and you don't get that spider Solitaire, which I need.
SPEAKER_2: I need that variety.
SPEAKER_2: I need those two.
SPEAKER_2: Or they have Solitaire, Spider Solitaire, Free Sale, blah, garbage, garbage, garbage.
SPEAKER_2: We need to make a perfect Solitaire app, one that feels good to keep playing, that doesn't exploit the player would be great, that crucially, I guess, has a mode where you kill spiders with the cards.
SPEAKER_1: So I do have one idea.
SPEAKER_1: Endless deck.
SPEAKER_1: The deck never ends.
SPEAKER_1: You keep leveling forever.
SPEAKER_1: How far can you get?
SPEAKER_1: Right?
SPEAKER_1: Like how far can you get?
SPEAKER_1: It's like Flappy Bird.
SPEAKER_1: The closest comparison to Solitaire is Flappy Bird.
SPEAKER_1: So you try to get as far, and then you get experience based on the number of cards that you manage to put away.
SPEAKER_2: So you always lose.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, just like Solitaire.
SPEAKER_3: No, no, no.
SPEAKER_2: This is part of the fun of Solitaire.
SPEAKER_2: It's fun to solve it.
SPEAKER_1: And you can solve it and then you get more cards and you solve it again.
SPEAKER_2: That's just Solitaire.
SPEAKER_1: Now you stack your kings and your aces.
SPEAKER_1: So you can just keep going.
SPEAKER_2: Well, if you're going to do that, then I think we just need some new cards.
SPEAKER_2: After kings, you get...
SPEAKER_1: Oh, the Emperor card.
SPEAKER_1: After emperors, you get dictators.
SPEAKER_2: After dictators, you get gods.
SPEAKER_2: After gods, you get the joker.
SPEAKER_1: And there's only one joker.
SPEAKER_2: There's only one joker, and that's how you win.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, so what do you have to do with the joker to win?
SPEAKER_2: You have to stack them all on to the joker.
SPEAKER_2: How?
SPEAKER_2: When you stack one.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, so when you stack one on the joker, you stack another on the gods card, which is the one before the joker.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, there's only one god card?
SPEAKER_2: No, there's only one joker card.
SPEAKER_2: There's multiple god cards.
SPEAKER_2: This is like Yu-Gi-Oh, there's at least three.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, like I was saying, or I didn't say this, but as I was thinking, you have your three god cards.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I think it's four because there's four suits.
SPEAKER_1: No, no, no, this is the thing.
SPEAKER_1: There's only three god cards, and you have to make it work, right?
SPEAKER_1: This is where the strategy comes in, Brianna.
SPEAKER_2: Right, because there's no Solitaire strategy at all otherwise.
SPEAKER_1: No, exactly.
SPEAKER_1: Solitaire is just about moving a card until you get bored.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, there's no strategy whatsoever.
SPEAKER_2: That's why I haven't improved in Solitaire play.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, it's just numbers.
SPEAKER_1: And royalty.
SPEAKER_2: So the way that I was thinking it works with the one joker is when you get one on the joker and one on the god cards, you simply combine them.
SPEAKER_2: Like you just sort of take the decks.
SPEAKER_1: And this is the Loki card now.
SPEAKER_1: Because the god of mischief.
SPEAKER_2: Well, no, you have.
SPEAKER_1: You fuse them.
SPEAKER_1: We can have fusions of cards.
SPEAKER_1: What happens when you fuse the number three with the queen?
SPEAKER_1: Who is that?
SPEAKER_1: Who is she?
SPEAKER_2: It's three queens.
SPEAKER_1: It's the threes.
SPEAKER_2: It's the three of queens.
SPEAKER_2: Now queens is a suit.
SPEAKER_2: Fuck it.
SPEAKER_2: We're just completely destroying all of the Solitaire.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, so the thing about a three, The same thing of Solitaire.
SPEAKER_1: The only thing about a three is all you can do with a three is you can put it on a four or put a two on it.
SPEAKER_1: And the only thing you can do with a queen is put it on a king or put a jack on it.
SPEAKER_1: But with a three, the possibility is endless.
SPEAKER_1: Like all of these rules apply and it gets its own rule.
SPEAKER_1: Which is?
SPEAKER_1: Which is it can burn another card.
SPEAKER_1: It's just another card no longer exists in the game.
SPEAKER_1: You don't need to worry about it.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, great.
SPEAKER_1: It's a pitchfork, right?
SPEAKER_1: So it sends the card to hell.
SPEAKER_2: I love it.
SPEAKER_2: I think you know how in Spider Solitaire, I definitely know Spider Solitaire.
SPEAKER_2: Or Solitaire in general, when you get a whole stack, it goes up to the stack place and it all combines into one.
SPEAKER_2: What if it actually all combined into one?
SPEAKER_2: It's just one card now.
SPEAKER_2: One full stack, it combines into a special card, and it's called a stack card.
SPEAKER_2: And a stack card allows you to shoot other cards.
SPEAKER_1: What happens when you shoot a card?
SPEAKER_2: When you shoot a card, it gets injured and more killed.
SPEAKER_2: You roll a dice to find out how much you hit.
SPEAKER_2: I roll a dice to Solitaire to see how much damage it hits for.
SPEAKER_2: And the damage has to equal the number that's on the card.
SPEAKER_1: So if you do more damage, it doesn't kill it?
SPEAKER_2: If you do more damage, it goes on to the next card.
SPEAKER_2: You're really trying to hit it.
SPEAKER_1: So can you win by just murdering the whole deck?
SPEAKER_2: Yes.
SPEAKER_2: This is another way to burn cards now.
SPEAKER_2: Now you have a gun, and every turn you're allowed to use the gun.
SPEAKER_2: The thing is, you may think, oh, then you can just shoot every card.
SPEAKER_2: No, it has a limited number of bullets.
SPEAKER_2: Then you got to get another stack to reload.
SPEAKER_1: What do you do?
SPEAKER_1: Does the stack card disappear once you run out of bullets?
SPEAKER_1: Or do you have to do something with a stack card?
SPEAKER_2: You take the stack card, you put it to the side, and then when you make another stack, you can do one of three things.
SPEAKER_2: One is reload your stack gun.
SPEAKER_2: Another is to get another joker.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, you can turn it into a...
SPEAKER_1: Oh, so it's like chess.
SPEAKER_2: Yes.
SPEAKER_2: And the third is to play a game of chess.
SPEAKER_2: You either win or you die.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, if you win the game of chess, then you win.
SPEAKER_1: You ought to win.
SPEAKER_2: You win Solitaire.
SPEAKER_2: If you don't like Solitaire, all you have to do is win at chess.
SPEAKER_2: We're making a pan Solitaire game.
SPEAKER_2: It has so many different Solitaire and other games.
SPEAKER_1: And chess.
SPEAKER_2: And chess.
SPEAKER_2: And a little bit of Yu-Gi-Oh!
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, a little bit of Yu-Gi-Oh!
SPEAKER_2: And also a shooter.
SPEAKER_2: You can, in fact, all of this causes you to level.
SPEAKER_2: And when you level up, you get obviously new skins, cosmetic things, like...
SPEAKER_1: Loot boxes!
SPEAKER_2: No loot boxes.
SPEAKER_2: Loot boxes!
SPEAKER_1: So you can get a loot box that gives you an extra card.
SPEAKER_1: And that you can use during your game of Solitaire that makes it easier and it makes you win more.
SPEAKER_2: It's pay to win.
SPEAKER_2: Yes.
SPEAKER_2: Great.
SPEAKER_1: Welcome to Solitaire.
SPEAKER_1: It's pay to win.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, so you have the cosmetic benefits, and then I guess you have your gameplay benefits.
SPEAKER_1: I want the one that just makes them all look like Yu-Gi-Oh!
SPEAKER_1: cards.
SPEAKER_2: Yes, that's a very important one.
SPEAKER_2: We could go off about what different cards are in terms of the Yu-Gi-Oh!
SPEAKER_2: version of them.
SPEAKER_2: But also like...
SPEAKER_1: Well, the God cards are Ra, Obelisk, and Slyther.
SPEAKER_1: The fact that I remember all those, astonishes me.
SPEAKER_2: That's incredible.
SPEAKER_2: Dark Magician's gotta be in there.
SPEAKER_2: Dark Magician, Girl of Clones.
SPEAKER_1: Oh yeah, that's the King and the Queen, right?
SPEAKER_1: Sure.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, some of the cards also have to be like number cards.
SPEAKER_1: Well, Blue-Eyes is Ace, but I think Kuriboh is one.
SPEAKER_1: Or no, I guess Ace is one.
SPEAKER_1: There are two Kuribohs.
SPEAKER_1: That's the number two.
SPEAKER_2: Yes.
SPEAKER_2: There's gotta be a three-headed one for the three, which may be just Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I guess so.
SPEAKER_1: That's just the number three.
SPEAKER_1: Are we gonna go through this whole fucking-
SPEAKER_1: No, this is it.
SPEAKER_1: We're done.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know any other Yu-Gi-Oh cards.
SPEAKER_2: It's been way too long.
SPEAKER_2: It's been so long.
SPEAKER_1: I guess Red-Eyes Black Dragon.
SPEAKER_2: Oh yeah, and like the Time stuff.
SPEAKER_2: There was the cartoon stuff as well.
SPEAKER_1: Oh god, yeah.
SPEAKER_1: What's his name?
SPEAKER_1: Pegasus.
SPEAKER_2: Pegasus.
SPEAKER_1: That was a whole arc, wasn't it?
SPEAKER_2: Yu-Gi-Oh was wild.
SPEAKER_1: Yu-Gi-Oh was book wild.
SPEAKER_2: You can play Yu-Gi-Oh in the app.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, welcome to Solitaire Yu-Gi-Oh edition.
SPEAKER_1: We have chess.
SPEAKER_2: I need to Google real quick on this.
SPEAKER_1: So this is, while Brianna is doing that, this has been Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_1: This was a show where we solve our cravings.
SPEAKER_2: Yu-Gi-Oh, Solitaire.
SPEAKER_1: If you want to find us on social media, you can do so at Salt Cravings on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.
SPEAKER_1: You can also rate us on iTunes and Stitcher.
SPEAKER_1: I remember the name.
SPEAKER_1: It exists, doesn't it?
SPEAKER_2: It's not that it exists.
SPEAKER_2: It's that there's apparently a card.
SPEAKER_2: There is a, there is, I can't tell if it's a deck or a card.
SPEAKER_2: There's a particular card and a particular deck type that's called a Solitaire deck in Yu-Gi-Oh, and it's potentially banned in some places.
SPEAKER_2: Because it's so OP.
SPEAKER_1: Good, great.
SPEAKER_2: Which is extremely good.
SPEAKER_2: Anyway.
SPEAKER_1: Go rate us on iTunes and Stitcher.
SPEAKER_2: We're on Spotify now.
SPEAKER_1: We are on Spotify now.
SPEAKER_2: Yes, we should be on Spotify now.
SPEAKER_1: We should.
SPEAKER_1: I submitted it today.
SPEAKER_1: They have a new thing.
SPEAKER_1: Hey, if you have a podcast, go to podcasters.spotify.com.
SPEAKER_1: It's so much easier than it used to be.
SPEAKER_2: Yes, go, go up there.
SPEAKER_2: And so yeah, it's gonna be on Spotify now.
SPEAKER_1: Live show.
SPEAKER_2: So we fucked up last time.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, but we tested this time.
SPEAKER_2: But we tested it this time.
SPEAKER_1: We have it working this time.
SPEAKER_2: We have it working, yeah.
SPEAKER_2: My computer is back.
SPEAKER_2: And assuming that it doesn't break down again, we are gonna be good to go with the live episode this time.
SPEAKER_2: And we're actually gonna do it.
SPEAKER_2: And we're gonna do it in August.
SPEAKER_2: We got that quick turnaround.
SPEAKER_2: It's close enough to a year still.
SPEAKER_2: It's close enough to a year anniversary.
SPEAKER_1: You know, the new year is 400 days.
SPEAKER_2: 400 days.
SPEAKER_1: So it is August 24th.
SPEAKER_1: Again, that's August 24th at 1pm.
SPEAKER_2: August 24th at 1pm.
SPEAKER_1: I know we failed you last time.
SPEAKER_2: We are not going to fail you.
SPEAKER_2: I cannot emphasize it.
SPEAKER_2: We have tested it.
SPEAKER_1: We've made sure it works.
SPEAKER_2: We've tested it.
SPEAKER_2: We've made sure it works.
SPEAKER_2: We're gonna do another test.
SPEAKER_1: We're gonna do like another test.
SPEAKER_1: We're also gonna probably do another test the day of just to make sure.
SPEAKER_1: Yes.
SPEAKER_1: So if you see us go live early, like it is because we were testing.
SPEAKER_2: Yes, it is gonna happen.
SPEAKER_1: It's gonna happen.
SPEAKER_2: It's gonna happen.
SPEAKER_1: So please save your cravings.
SPEAKER_2: Save your cravings.
SPEAKER_2: Bring them to the live show.
SPEAKER_2: Again, it's going to happen.
SPEAKER_1: It's gonna happen.
SPEAKER_1: Cannot emphasize this enough.
SPEAKER_1: It's for real.
SPEAKER_1: It's really happening.
SPEAKER_1: Do you want to test this outro?
SPEAKER_2: I would love to test this outro.
SPEAKER_2: Thanks for listening to Brianna.
SPEAKER_1: Thanks for listening to Brianna.
SPEAKER_2: I've been Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_1: I've also been Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_2: And Clair's somewhere in the ether.
SPEAKER_1: Clair's no more.
SPEAKER_1: This is voice acting.
SPEAKER_2: Welcome to voice acting.
SPEAKER_1: Welcome to voice acting 101.
SPEAKER_1: I am your teacher.
SPEAKER_1: We will go over laughter, emotions, and other things to make sure people think you are a human.
SPEAKER_2: It's true.
SPEAKER_2: And also we will talk about musical, theater, healthcare, solitaire, human topics that humans crave.