SPEAKER_1: All right, Brianna, I have a very important mission for you.
SPEAKER_2: What is it?
SPEAKER_1: I need you to repeat after me.
SPEAKER_1: L'chaim.
SPEAKER_2: L'chaim.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, try again.
SPEAKER_1: L'chaim.
SPEAKER_1: Once more.
SPEAKER_1: Welcome to our holiday episode.
SPEAKER_1: This is Salt Cravings, my name is Clair.
SPEAKER_2: And my name's Brianna, and it's the hauling days.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, take a shot, L'chaim.
SPEAKER_2: L'chaim.
SPEAKER_2: Did I get it?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Listen, I'm real, real good at this.
SPEAKER_2: Hey, you excited for the holidays?
SPEAKER_1: I'm so excited for the holidays.
SPEAKER_1: Ready to have some fun with some holigays?
SPEAKER_2: I'm always ready to have fun with holigays.
SPEAKER_1: What's your holigay loadout?
SPEAKER_2: Uh, what do you mean?
SPEAKER_1: What do you have equipped for the holigays?
SPEAKER_2: Oh, okay, I've got a candy gain.
SPEAKER_1: Gotta get those candy gains.
SPEAKER_2: Gotta get those candy gains.
SPEAKER_1: Do you even candy pro?
SPEAKER_2: Mrs.
SPEAKER_2: Claus to Santa Claus in North Pole.
SPEAKER_2: And then I have a whole bunch of gifts that I still need to figure out and also buy.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, does that mean you have the gifts or?
SPEAKER_2: Uh, I have a lot of empty boxes that part of my mission is to fill along the way.
SPEAKER_2: It's sort of a side quest, except it's the main quest for the holidays, but it's a side quest of whatever the loadout is for.
SPEAKER_1: You know, if your friends were all cats, those would be perfect gifts.
SPEAKER_2: I think I have some friends who are cats.
SPEAKER_2: I might just give them some empty boxes.
SPEAKER_2: Be like, have a great time.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I mean, that sounds great.
SPEAKER_1: I think, I think.
SPEAKER_2: I'll get May an empty box.
SPEAKER_1: Actually, May would hate an empty box.
SPEAKER_2: Would she?
SPEAKER_1: She doesn't like boxes.
SPEAKER_2: Weird.
SPEAKER_1: It's boring.
SPEAKER_1: Well, she's not a boring cat.
SPEAKER_1: She's a cuddly cat.
SPEAKER_1: She's not a box cat.
SPEAKER_2: She's not a box cat.
SPEAKER_1: She breaks the binary.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, you can't box that cat up.
SPEAKER_2: She thinks outside the box.
SPEAKER_1: Well, yeah.
SPEAKER_2: What's your holiday loadout?
SPEAKER_1: Big knife.
SPEAKER_2: What's that for?
SPEAKER_1: And a dreidel, dual wielding.
SPEAKER_2: The new Jewish holiday loadout, a big knife and a dreidel.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, you got it.
SPEAKER_2: Hell yeah, I love it.
SPEAKER_2: I love it.
SPEAKER_2: Welcome to Hanukkah, bitches.
SPEAKER_2: You know what else we have in our holiday loadout?
SPEAKER_1: Cravings!
SPEAKER_2: Cravings!
SPEAKER_2: Cravings.
SPEAKER_2: Do you want to hear a craving?
SPEAKER_1: No.
SPEAKER_1: Then you have to interpretive dance your craving.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, this was fairly easy to interpretive dance, which is dancing.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: I'm dancing because what I want to be doing is dancing to some gay holiday music.
SPEAKER_2: I would love to dance to some gay holiday music.
SPEAKER_2: I would love for there to be gay holiday music out there.
SPEAKER_2: I would love to know where the gay holiday music is.
SPEAKER_2: I don't know where all the gay holiday music is, but I want gay holiday music.
SPEAKER_1: Hmm.
SPEAKER_1: What is it?
SPEAKER_1: What criteria does it have to meet in order to be like gay holiday music?
SPEAKER_2: Well, there's a lot of very straight holiday music.
SPEAKER_1: Well, it's true.
SPEAKER_2: There's, so it has to be the thing that isn't that.
SPEAKER_2: So there's a lot of holiday music.
SPEAKER_1: Does like Rockin Around the Christmas Tree count?
SPEAKER_1: Cause it's just about rocking around the Christmas tree.
SPEAKER_2: That's sort of a neutral, I think, in terms of-
SPEAKER_2: That's a sexually neutral holiday.
SPEAKER_1: You don't want to fuck the rock song about the tree?
SPEAKER_2: You don't want to fuck the tree in that song.
SPEAKER_2: That's not the goal.
SPEAKER_2: In, if it were the case, that would be also not gay.
SPEAKER_2: That would be like plant sexual or something.
SPEAKER_2: Sorry to-
SPEAKER_1: Those romances feel a little planted.
SPEAKER_2: All right, okay.
SPEAKER_2: So a lot of like Christmas music, especially, is so incredibly heterosexual and is so about like, boy, look how good it is to be with your heterosexual partner in a super basic, happy relationship over the holidays.
SPEAKER_2: Also, it feels vaguely like it's the 1950s because a lot of holiday music is from like the 1950s.
SPEAKER_1: Are we keeping the 1950s vibe, but making it gay?
SPEAKER_2: We could.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, here's the thing is you can just make the songs that were straight gay.
SPEAKER_2: I have seen some examples of this.
SPEAKER_2: There's a version of Baby It's Cold Outside called Ladies It's Cold Outside by Ladies.
SPEAKER_2: It is a lesbian throuple version of Baby It's Cold Outside.
SPEAKER_1: I want all my holiday songs written by a lesbian throuple.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, exactly, right?
SPEAKER_2: That's the thing is like, there's that where you can just take the song and like, oh, it's gay now because we either did change the pronouns or didn't change the pronouns, right?
SPEAKER_1: Oh, so what's up with the word throuple?
SPEAKER_1: Why can't we say triple?
SPEAKER_1: Like we can say couple, but like.
SPEAKER_2: Cause throuple sounds sillier.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, it sounds sillier and worse.
SPEAKER_2: So it has to be that actually.
SPEAKER_1: Does that mean four is like a cupple?
SPEAKER_1: Ooh, ooh, cupple.
SPEAKER_2: Cupple and then a quid-pull, which is the name of that one sport in Harry Potter.
SPEAKER_2: And then there's a sex.
SPEAKER_1: Harry Potter, you wanna play quimple with me?
SPEAKER_2: And then there's a sex-pull, which is also a different thing.
SPEAKER_2: And so there is that vision of gay holiday music.
SPEAKER_2: It's like, okay, we're just gonna take the thing.
SPEAKER_2: But sometimes, you know, there's some imperfections in that method.
SPEAKER_2: For example, BB's called that side.
SPEAKER_1: Bad song.
SPEAKER_1: It's not great.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, great song.
SPEAKER_2: Great song.
SPEAKER_1: Bad song.
SPEAKER_2: Well, we're not gonna get into the discourse here.
SPEAKER_1: Great song, bad song.
SPEAKER_2: Great song, bad song.
SPEAKER_2: Otherwise, there's also the version where you create new songs.
SPEAKER_1: Are you asking us to create a new song?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, we're just gonna create a new song.
SPEAKER_2: No.
SPEAKER_1: Just on the fly.
SPEAKER_1: Just verse back and forth.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, we're just gonna create.
SPEAKER_1: Gonna freestyle this new Christmas song.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, God.
SPEAKER_1: A thing we're both very aptly good at.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, that's extremely our wheelhouse.
SPEAKER_2: We make so much music.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, music is just poetry with backup singers.
SPEAKER_2: It's just poetry, but you brought along two other people.
SPEAKER_1: It's just three poets on the stage together.
SPEAKER_2: And they're just saying words and people are like, damn, I love this song.
SPEAKER_2: I love this song.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, I've had a way to figure this out.
SPEAKER_1: Play it on me.
SPEAKER_2: Which is sometimes a Christmas thing is like a big old song with lots of singers in it.
SPEAKER_1: Great, you mean a choir?
SPEAKER_2: Yes.
SPEAKER_2: So, who's in our gay holiday choir?
SPEAKER_1: Well, the thing is there is like a queer choir in Vancouver where you can just get them.
SPEAKER_2: We could just get them.
SPEAKER_2: That was a really easy solution.
SPEAKER_2: Great, we'll just get them to do a holiday performance.
SPEAKER_1: We can go down the path.
SPEAKER_1: We can like say like, yeah, and Sonic's in here.
SPEAKER_2: Sonic noted gay rights icon.
SPEAKER_1: What animals are we getting in our choir?
SPEAKER_1: What are the most vocally trained animals?
SPEAKER_1: Birds, are we just gonna have a choir of birds?
SPEAKER_2: I would like to have a choir of birds.
SPEAKER_1: Welcome to our band, Birds and Queers.
SPEAKER_2: Birds and queers do the holidays.
SPEAKER_1: Do the holidays.
SPEAKER_2: Exactly.
SPEAKER_2: Choo choo.
SPEAKER_2: Choo choo, tweet tweet.
SPEAKER_1: What is this?
SPEAKER_2: A seagull got in there because someone had fries.
SPEAKER_2: They were just really...
SPEAKER_2: They left the door open.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, they left the door open and no one noticed because there were all the birds there.
SPEAKER_1: I was hungry.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Come on, let me live.
SPEAKER_1: Fries are holiday food.
SPEAKER_2: Fries are holiday food.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, so like what are some good solutions to this craving?
SPEAKER_2: Because listen, if I knew how to solve this craving, I would have solved it already.
SPEAKER_2: It would have made a whole album.
SPEAKER_1: That's fair.
SPEAKER_2: There are some gay songs that are coming out.
SPEAKER_2: For example, I'm very excited for, I guess it will probably come out by now.
SPEAKER_2: There's a song that Left at London is doing called Santa's Homophobic.
SPEAKER_2: And it has SonicFox on it.
SPEAKER_1: Oh my, holy Christ.
SPEAKER_2: Along with SungWon Cho.
SPEAKER_1: Who's SungWon Cho?
SPEAKER_2: He does a lot of like videos, did some vines and stuff where he does like voice acting and anime.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, wait, the one with like the object anime where it's like chair.
SPEAKER_2: ProzD, ProzD.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, ProzD, God, ProzD.
SPEAKER_1: ProzD, ProzD.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, so ProzD and SonicFox are gonna be on Left at London's song.
SPEAKER_2: Santa's Homophobic.
SPEAKER_2: So like we're getting some.
SPEAKER_1: I just want all three.
SPEAKER_1: Like that's it, that's the album, right?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_1: You don't need anybody else, it's just those three.
SPEAKER_2: But also I would love to see some of the beloved queer artists just like release some holiday albums.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, I wouldn't mind Hayley Kiyoko like just slamming something down.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, we could.
SPEAKER_2: Give me the Malblom Christmas album.
SPEAKER_2: I would lose my shit over Malblom Christmas album.
SPEAKER_2: Are you kidding me?
SPEAKER_1: I was like looking at my Spotify rap.
SPEAKER_1: I didn't know about Malblom until y'all took me to the concert.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: They became my number one this year.
SPEAKER_2: Oh my God, did they?
SPEAKER_1: They did, yeah.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, they're so new.
SPEAKER_1: So like I'm 100% on board for.
SPEAKER_2: My number one was Shura.
SPEAKER_2: So, or no, my number one was Carly Rae, actually.
SPEAKER_2: My number two was Shura.
SPEAKER_2: Shura, I would love to see do.
SPEAKER_1: Are you sure about that?
SPEAKER_1: I take it no.
SPEAKER_2: I'm gonna push past that.
SPEAKER_2: I would love to see a Shura holiday album.
SPEAKER_2: I feel it would be in the vein of sad holiday songs.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, what's a sad holiday song?
SPEAKER_1: Is like the Christmas tree burned down.
SPEAKER_2: It's more like, it's more like the, you know that brand of like, my Christmas is gonna be bad cause you're not here and I miss you.
SPEAKER_1: You want that?
SPEAKER_1: Oh, what if there's like a song?
SPEAKER_1: So you know how queers are off in long distance because dating online is a huge part of it.
SPEAKER_1: Yes, yes.
SPEAKER_1: I want like a Christmas song where it's like a duet, but they're across like a country from each other.
SPEAKER_1: And like the concept is they're like on a video call or something.
SPEAKER_1: Are they slightly off beat?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, at one point, someone tries to like start their verse and the person's still going.
SPEAKER_2: And they're like, oh, sorry.
SPEAKER_1: Sorry, no, you go.
SPEAKER_1: No, you go.
SPEAKER_1: I'll start.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, fuck.
SPEAKER_2: That'd be extremely good.
SPEAKER_2: I think there's just supposed to be more Christmas music around gay themes.
SPEAKER_2: Gay.
SPEAKER_1: Let's go cut a Christmas tree down together.
SPEAKER_1: And like hold hands.
SPEAKER_1: And go to Christmas park.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_1: Let's go cut down a tree.
SPEAKER_1: That's what you call them, right?
SPEAKER_2: The what?
SPEAKER_1: The Christmas park where you get your trees.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, the totally legal place to get your trees from.
SPEAKER_2: Let's go cut down a tree together.
SPEAKER_2: We'll hold hands and run from the cops.
SPEAKER_1: You missed weather and weather this weather.
SPEAKER_1: Come on, it was right there.
SPEAKER_1: Maybe I should write this.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, maybe you should write.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I wanna have this song on my desk by Tuesday.
SPEAKER_1: What are some titles for these Christmas songs?
SPEAKER_1: Cause we have like, Baby is Cold Outside, Christmas Rock or whatever.
SPEAKER_1: Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel.
SPEAKER_2: Um, for the long distance one, Discord Christmas.
SPEAKER_1: Christmas Discord.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, Christmas Discord.
SPEAKER_1: And like one of their families is like calling them in the background like, I'm down, dinner's ready, give me a minute.
SPEAKER_2: It's perfect, it's perfect.
SPEAKER_1: In the middle of a call.
SPEAKER_2: Who are you talking with?
SPEAKER_2: It doesn't matter, you don't know them.
SPEAKER_2: I think for the cutting on the tree one, that's Lumberjack Lesbians Christmas.
SPEAKER_2: Those were really the two songs that we came up with.
SPEAKER_2: Those are all the songs.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, listen, we'll, every year we can just make a couple more, eventually we'll have enough for our Christmas playlist.
SPEAKER_2: Cause that's what I want really, is what I want is to be able to build a gay Christmas playlist because I can't do that because I know of like two songs.
SPEAKER_1: I know everyone puts on like, either Michael Buble or Sufjan Stevens.
SPEAKER_1: And those are like the two sort of genders that you get to choose from.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_2: Speaking of course, Michael Buble wrote the straightest Christmas song of all time, Santa Buddy.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, are they buddies or are they like buddies?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I want the way hornier version of Santa Buddy.
SPEAKER_2: Give me the horny, hornyest version.
SPEAKER_2: Like make it as horny as Santa Baby was, but have it be like, Santa Pally.
SPEAKER_1: Pally?
SPEAKER_1: That's worse than Buddy.
SPEAKER_2: That's one of the lyrics in the song.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, that's so bad.
SPEAKER_2: At one point he says, Santa Pally.
SPEAKER_1: Pally is such a bad-
SPEAKER_2: A group 69 convertible to Jet Blue.
SPEAKER_2: Like these are lyrics from the fucking song.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, you could easily change those.
SPEAKER_2: Oh yeah, you could easily change that to be about another 69 convertible.
SPEAKER_2: If you know what I mean.
SPEAKER_2: Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
SPEAKER_2: Well, it was already blue.
SPEAKER_1: Well, now it's red.
SPEAKER_1: It's like a darker blue.
SPEAKER_1: Red is darker blue.
SPEAKER_2: Right, right.
SPEAKER_2: It's like a darker blue-red.
SPEAKER_2: It's like a blue-red.
SPEAKER_2: No, not a purple.
SPEAKER_2: It's a blue-red.
SPEAKER_1: No, it's a blue-red.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, it's a blue-red.
SPEAKER_1: It's to help them keep their masculinity.
SPEAKER_2: It's very important to them.
SPEAKER_2: It's not purple, it's blue-red.
SPEAKER_2: Santa mask for mask.
SPEAKER_2: Santa for Santa.
SPEAKER_1: Mall Santas, and they meet up.
SPEAKER_1: It's the meeting of the Mall Santas.
SPEAKER_2: What the fuck?
SPEAKER_2: This is cute.
SPEAKER_1: It's the Mall Santa committee, and they all sort of pair up.
SPEAKER_2: No, it's just like...
SPEAKER_1: One of them's gonna throuple.
SPEAKER_1: Santa throuple.
SPEAKER_2: Santa throuple.
SPEAKER_2: And sung to the tune of Santa, baby.
SPEAKER_2: Santa throuple.
SPEAKER_2: Those are some good gay Christmas songs.
SPEAKER_1: We'll get them in the recording studio ASAP.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Do you have a holiday craving?
SPEAKER_1: I do.
SPEAKER_1: My favorite part of the holidays is the relaxation, the really like...
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: The low key of it, right?
SPEAKER_1: Not everyone gets this, but often you get to take time off, or you get to see family or friends or chosen family.
SPEAKER_1: So like the best thing about time off is midday naps.
SPEAKER_2: Ooh.
SPEAKER_1: Where you're like, I'm very tired because I didn't have to get up, but I did because I'm so conditioned to get up.
SPEAKER_2: Right.
SPEAKER_1: But there's nothing really keeping me awake.
SPEAKER_2: Right.
SPEAKER_1: Why not just like, you know, it's like it's 11, it's 1, who cares?
SPEAKER_1: And you take that power nap.
SPEAKER_1: Do you set your alarm?
SPEAKER_2: Maybe you do, maybe you don't.
SPEAKER_2: Maybe you're, maybe you're trying to get that perfect amount of time.
SPEAKER_1: Maybe you mess up your sleep schedule and you don't go to sleep until 3 a.m.
SPEAKER_1: And that's okay.
SPEAKER_2: Because it's the holidays.
SPEAKER_1: It doesn't f-ing matter.
SPEAKER_2: Nothing matters.
SPEAKER_2: Welcome to Holiday Naps.
SPEAKER_2: Mid-afternoon naps are very good.
SPEAKER_2: I'm not very good at taking naps.
SPEAKER_1: Are you good at taking naps, period?
SPEAKER_2: No, I am really not.
SPEAKER_2: I have a hard time getting to sleep.
SPEAKER_2: The exception to the rule, I'm just gonna get gay for a minute, is I'm very good at napping with my girlfriend.
SPEAKER_2: But when she's not here, I'm just like...
SPEAKER_1: What's a nap to a god?
SPEAKER_2: What's a nap to a non-believer?
SPEAKER_2: Like, truly, there's no napping.
SPEAKER_2: It's just me lying there being like, go the fuck to sleep.
SPEAKER_2: Dude, we gotta sleep.
SPEAKER_2: But when I have taken them, they are delightful.
SPEAKER_2: They're usually good when I'm sick.
SPEAKER_1: Surprisingly, resting does actually help you exist.
SPEAKER_2: It's weird how that happens.
SPEAKER_1: Also, it's like that time of year where like the flu is getting around or just the cold.
SPEAKER_2: I've been sick the whole season.
SPEAKER_1: So like resting is really good.
SPEAKER_2: How do we save the craving of naps?
SPEAKER_2: Do we just take a nap here on this podcast?
SPEAKER_2: And you can hear me struggle to not be able to take a fucking nap and Clair be fast asleep.
SPEAKER_1: Well, see, here's the thing.
SPEAKER_1: I feel like I'm not bad at taking a nap.
SPEAKER_1: I just usually don't.
SPEAKER_1: Except if I'm like, again, if I'm with someone and it's nap time.
SPEAKER_2: So do you need a nap assistant to remind you when to take naps?
SPEAKER_2: Someone who just follows you around and be like, Okay.
SPEAKER_2: Clair, it's time for you to take a nap.
SPEAKER_1: Can I customize the accent?
SPEAKER_2: Absolutely.
SPEAKER_2: What sort of accent?
SPEAKER_1: Boston.
SPEAKER_2: Welcome to Boston.
SPEAKER_1: It feels sort of threatening.
SPEAKER_2: Time to sleep with the fishes, if you know what I mean.
SPEAKER_1: By that, I mean a nap.
SPEAKER_2: By that, I mean a nap.
SPEAKER_2: I'm not good at Boston accent.
SPEAKER_2: It just becomes a New York accent, which I can sort of do.
SPEAKER_1: So we have the nap assistant.
SPEAKER_2: We can have the nap assistant, but the nap assistant might cost money because you have to pay them a living wage and all that.
SPEAKER_1: But like they sleep on the job a lot of the time, so it doesn't feel worth it.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, you're right.
SPEAKER_2: We shouldn't pay them a living wage.
SPEAKER_2: You're absolutely right.
SPEAKER_1: Well, we should pay them when they're awake.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: But see, we'll be asleep, so we can't verify if they're awake.
SPEAKER_1: So really, what legal grounds do they have to stand for it?
SPEAKER_1: This is ethical.
SPEAKER_2: Let's exploit labor over the holidays.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Alternatively, we could look into not a person following you around.
SPEAKER_1: It could be like you have your alarms for your medication, but do you have your alarms for your naps?
SPEAKER_1: Like, what's the perfect ringtone for a nap?
SPEAKER_1: Because like, a medication alarm, it's like blaring.
SPEAKER_1: It's like, take this, take this, put this thing down your throat right now.
SPEAKER_1: But like, if it's nap time, it's like...
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, it's a lullaby.
SPEAKER_2: But it slowly gets louder.
SPEAKER_2: That's awful.
SPEAKER_2: It slowly gets louder.
SPEAKER_2: You better catch it right away.
SPEAKER_1: Because if you don't nap in the first five seconds...
SPEAKER_2: No, you can turn it off.
SPEAKER_2: But it will blare if you let it go for too long.
SPEAKER_1: Why can't it just be a lullaby?
SPEAKER_2: What it should be is it should be a series of notes that instantly put you to sleep.
SPEAKER_1: Oh god, so you're like out for brunch or whatever, and you've forgotten to take your nap.
SPEAKER_1: And the notes are like...
SPEAKER_2: And you just fucking take a nosedive into your eggs.
SPEAKER_2: Yes, exactly.
SPEAKER_2: So it's like, hey, should we wake them up?
SPEAKER_2: And it's just like, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_2: Alternatively, we could just put a chip in your brain.
SPEAKER_1: That's awful.
SPEAKER_2: Why not?
SPEAKER_1: This is the holiday episode.
SPEAKER_1: There's no dystopia here.
SPEAKER_1: Holidays are not about dystopia.
SPEAKER_2: You're right.
SPEAKER_2: We'll just have the tone that instantly puts you the fuck to sleep, wherever you are, or whenever you are.
SPEAKER_2: That's much less dystopic.
SPEAKER_1: We all know that holidays are a utopic thing.
SPEAKER_2: You're right.
SPEAKER_1: There's nothing bad about the holiday season.
SPEAKER_2: There's nothing bad about the holiday season, and there's never been any problems with any specific holidays or the ways that the holidays are done or treated.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, if you nap, you get away from all that.
SPEAKER_1: You don't even have to think about that.
SPEAKER_1: That's the best thing about a nap.
SPEAKER_2: Sometimes you see certain people over the holidays, and then you go home and you go, I need a nap.
SPEAKER_1: The holidays are really the time for the nap.
SPEAKER_1: You're like, oh shoot, did we have plans?
SPEAKER_1: Frick, I'm sorry, I was napping.
SPEAKER_1: I had a scheduled nap.
SPEAKER_2: Like that nap is like a plan that I can't, you know, if I don't have my nap, I'm like a little baby.
SPEAKER_2: I'm cranky.
SPEAKER_2: Mommy need her nappy.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, baby need a little nap.
SPEAKER_1: Mommy, baby need a nappy.
SPEAKER_2: Mommy, baby need a nappy.
SPEAKER_2: Holiday.
SPEAKER_1: You put your child down for a nap and you think, I should take a nap myself.
SPEAKER_2: Yes.
SPEAKER_2: Mommy, baby take a nappy.
SPEAKER_2: Holiday edition.
SPEAKER_1: Do you want to load out your final craving?
SPEAKER_2: Sure, sure.
SPEAKER_2: I will happily load out my final craving, which is so, are you familiar?
SPEAKER_1: Nope, go on.
SPEAKER_2: Uh, are you aware of a little story written by a man named Charles Dickens called a Christmas Carol?
SPEAKER_2: The thing about a Christmas Carol is that a Christmas Carol has been adapted many, many, many times.
SPEAKER_2: We'll get there.
SPEAKER_2: Let me do my whole meandering intro where I just am on my shit.
SPEAKER_1: All right, meander away.
SPEAKER_1: I'll take a nap.
SPEAKER_2: It has been adapted many, many, many times.
SPEAKER_2: And sometimes well, but often, it misses some of the crucial aspects of the story, which is, of course, a tale of anti-capitalism.
SPEAKER_1: Wait, they miss?
SPEAKER_1: How do you miss that?
SPEAKER_2: There's a lot of things where the story of A Christmas Carol becomes about like Christmas spirit, rather than about like, you know, paying your fucking employees and giving them the day off and like being a halfway decent boss, which is honestly an impossible thing to be.
SPEAKER_1: Have a hey penny, or they troubles.
SPEAKER_1: It's the holidays.
SPEAKER_2: It's the holidays.
SPEAKER_1: Have an extra hey penny.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, a what?
SPEAKER_1: Two hey pennies.
SPEAKER_1: Hey penny?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, like a hey penny.
SPEAKER_1: A hey penny?
SPEAKER_1: It's like what you call a half penny.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, is that a thing that you can call a half penny?
SPEAKER_2: I thought so.
SPEAKER_2: Interesting.
SPEAKER_1: Tell me about your OC, the Christmas Carol.
SPEAKER_2: So, Christmas Carol is, she is a Christmas person named Carol.
SPEAKER_2: No, the thing is that a Christmas Carol often becomes about like being a nice person, or having Christmas spirit, or getting into the season.
SPEAKER_1: Or defeating some ghosts with your broadsword.
SPEAKER_2: That would be sick.
SPEAKER_2: First of all, best version of a Christmas Carol is the Muppets Christmas Carol.
SPEAKER_2: Thank you very much.
SPEAKER_1: I like the 1951 Christmas Carol where Alastair Sim is Ebenezer Scrooge.
SPEAKER_1: But yeah, I really like his version.
SPEAKER_1: He sucks a lot.
SPEAKER_2: Great.
SPEAKER_2: That's extremely good.
SPEAKER_1: He's great at sucking.
SPEAKER_2: That's extremely good.
SPEAKER_2: I love it.
SPEAKER_2: Ebenezer Scrooge who's great at sucking.
SPEAKER_1: And like the door handles really effed up in that one.
SPEAKER_2: Perfect.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: I am so desperate for specifically a modern day Christmas Carol.
SPEAKER_2: Because like it is easy to separate yourself from the basic themes of a Christmas Carol when you're talking to the 1800s.
SPEAKER_2: Because people are going to be like, yeah, the industrial revolution sure did do some bad stuff to people.
SPEAKER_2: Like yeah, we can all admit that.
SPEAKER_2: But no one considers that the themes of a Christmas Carol are just as resonant in today's society.
SPEAKER_2: I watched a video on this from PopularC-C, did a video called Modern Christmas Carol's Adaptation and Loss of Meaning that goes into why and how a lot of modern day adaptations of Christmas Carols lose the anti-capitalist message or at least the like, be a less shitty boss message, right?
SPEAKER_2: So what I want is a version of a Christmas Carol that is set in 2019, but keeps the message, be a good person and don't be a wealth hoarder, you piece of shit, because that's what Christmas is all about.
SPEAKER_1: So who are the ghosts?
SPEAKER_1: Like what are the ghosts in the modern day Christmas Carol?
SPEAKER_1: Is it like legit?
SPEAKER_1: We're still doing like ghosts or is it like?
SPEAKER_2: I think it's still got to be.
SPEAKER_2: I love the ghosts.
SPEAKER_2: I love the weird supernatural elements.
SPEAKER_1: So I think it's like a penthouse suite, right?
SPEAKER_1: Like instead of the English, like a cobble house or whatever that Scrooge lives in.
SPEAKER_2: What is he the owner of?
SPEAKER_2: What business?
SPEAKER_1: He's in charge of a mining business, isn't he?
SPEAKER_2: In the original, yes, but I have a different idea, which is Scrooge is in charge of a small tech company.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I love the idea of like a small tech CEO, like having like a penthouse suite in some apartments and like, you know, Silicon Valley, probably, or Vancouver, or Vancouver was just set in Vancouver.
SPEAKER_2: Let's do the full thing.
SPEAKER_1: Like and so, you know, the door handle scene where Scrooge goes to like reach for the door knob or whatever, and it turns into like a face, right?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, that that but with elevator keys, and he like with the penthouse suite elevator key.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I love it.
SPEAKER_2: I love it.
SPEAKER_2: He like tries.
SPEAKER_2: He like tries it.
SPEAKER_2: It's just like, nope, he puts his finger into it.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, yes.
SPEAKER_2: It's super good.
SPEAKER_1: So these ghosts, right?
SPEAKER_1: Like, who are they?
SPEAKER_2: So there's the Jacob Marley character, which is like specifically someone the Marley's, right?
SPEAKER_1: Like the Marley's are still the Marley's, but they're they're business partners, but they got bought out.
SPEAKER_2: Their business partner.
SPEAKER_2: Well, the Marley's are dead.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_1: What if they are?
SPEAKER_1: And so this is a thing that tech companies do.
SPEAKER_1: They sort of like eat other companies.
SPEAKER_1: They sort of like subsidiaries or whatnot.
SPEAKER_1: It's not the same company, but we own you.
SPEAKER_1: So what if it's like two of those companies where like the once CEOs of those companies like just sort of got bought out and like lost everything and then like perished?
SPEAKER_2: Right.
SPEAKER_2: They fucking died.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, and so those are Marley and Marley.
SPEAKER_2: But isn't the whole thing of the Marley's is that they were also like they were like Scrooge.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, they're CEOs.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_1: They were past CEOs, but like they lost their company and probably not in a great way.
SPEAKER_2: I'm down with that.
SPEAKER_2: So let's run through this actually just from the start.
SPEAKER_1: For anyone who hasn't seen A Christmas Carol.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, exactly, so that's how we set it up and then we get to the Marley's who are like, you bought us out.
SPEAKER_2: That was a shitty move.
SPEAKER_2: And also, we were like you once and hey, we're in hell now.
SPEAKER_2: So you may not want to do this.
SPEAKER_1: The Ghost of Christmas Pass is like usually like a fairy or a fairy esque or fae esque.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Of some variety.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: What if?
SPEAKER_1: Fuck.
SPEAKER_1: God is an ex-wife.
SPEAKER_2: Okay.
SPEAKER_2: Do you want to hear the description of Ghost of Christmas Pass in the original story?
SPEAKER_2: The Ghost of Christmas Pass appears to Scrooge as a white-robed androgynous figure of indeterminate age.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, God.
SPEAKER_1: So it's a non-binary character.
SPEAKER_2: Fairies.
SPEAKER_2: We're allowed to do this.
SPEAKER_2: We're gay.
SPEAKER_1: Ghost of Christmas Pass is a non-binary person.
SPEAKER_1: What if Scrooge is like a gay cis man who like used to be involved in the queer community?
SPEAKER_2: Oh, my God.
SPEAKER_1: And so like his like past is like he actually like helped people.
SPEAKER_1: Holy shit.
SPEAKER_1: And so like the non-binary ghost shows up and is like, hey, remember this?
SPEAKER_1: Remember when you got involved in community?
SPEAKER_2: Remember when you were like actually like gave a shit about people and then your tech business took off?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: And then you stopped caring about everyone?
SPEAKER_1: You started worrying about the profit.
SPEAKER_2: Ghost of Christmas Present is supposed to-
SPEAKER_1: Is the food one, right?
SPEAKER_1: It's the lounge manager who like would always bring food into the tech company.
SPEAKER_2: God, usually in versions of this, it looks like Santa Claus vaguely.
SPEAKER_1: So it's the lounge manager.
SPEAKER_2: It's a lounge manager who also happens to be a mall manager because he's got a second job.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, because they weren't paid enough.
SPEAKER_1: It was like the intern.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_2: It was the intern.
SPEAKER_2: We pay the intern.
SPEAKER_2: We pay the intern in experience.
SPEAKER_1: Once they prove that they're committed to the company.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: So appears in like a mall Santa outfit to Scrooge.
SPEAKER_2: And it just like takes him to see like...
SPEAKER_1: It shows the past and then it shows the present of that past and then also Scrooge's present.
SPEAKER_1: I remember it also at one point shows Bob Cratchit's life right now.
SPEAKER_1: That's what I mean by like Scrooge's life right now.
SPEAKER_1: So we got like the update on the past, but then we have like what is Scrooge's effect right now?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah and Scrooge's effect is Bob Cratchit coming home extremely late.
SPEAKER_2: Overworked while everyone else is like...
SPEAKER_1: Why are you coming in at 9 p.m.?
SPEAKER_1: It's like how we worked half day today.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah exactly.
SPEAKER_2: And just like eating the leftover food or whatever from the like table alone.
SPEAKER_1: Like left out on the table.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah exactly and it's just like his partner being like, hey are you gonna be able to like come home sooner any day?
SPEAKER_2: Because like Tim's not doing so well and like you know, it's the classic Christmas Carol shit and Scrooge's like yikes.
SPEAKER_2: And then we get to the big yikes.
SPEAKER_1: Who's death?
SPEAKER_1: So usually it's like legit like, I don't know, skeleton.
SPEAKER_2: People are horny for death these days.
SPEAKER_2: So it's death but sexy.
SPEAKER_2: Death but, death fucks.
SPEAKER_2: Death but, it's like, it's death, but you know on Tumblr they're gonna be posting gif sets of this death being like, I wish this guy would kill me.
SPEAKER_1: This is my daddy death.
SPEAKER_2: Daddy death is the tag that he's gonna get.
SPEAKER_2: He still doesn't talk much.
SPEAKER_2: He just sort of is ominous and creepy.
SPEAKER_1: So like the hood is still up, but his abs are exposed.
SPEAKER_2: And like, you can just see his like smile.
SPEAKER_2: It's a perfect smile.
SPEAKER_1: Listen, you don't need anything else.
SPEAKER_2: And also yeah, his abs being exposed is super good.
SPEAKER_2: It's like a crop top cloak.
SPEAKER_2: And it like continues down.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, this is so good.
SPEAKER_2: And then he shows him, hey, this is your future.
SPEAKER_1: It's an automated ceremony.
SPEAKER_2: It's an automated ceremony.
SPEAKER_2: Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_1: This is just for the quick ceremonies.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_2: There was not like any interest in like having a ceremony for him.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I mean like he was never around.
SPEAKER_2: He was never around, right?
SPEAKER_2: Like I like the idea of the automated funeral.
SPEAKER_1: But I think Cratchit shows up and it's like Cratchit trying to convince his family and them being like, no.
SPEAKER_1: And him being like, well, I have all this time now cause I've been promoted.
SPEAKER_1: But unfortunately Tim, Tim didn't make it, but he's been promoted.
SPEAKER_1: So now he has all the money.
SPEAKER_1: Bob's become the capitalist.
SPEAKER_1: That's the real evil future.
SPEAKER_2: So yeah, this is extremely good.
SPEAKER_2: And yeah, and no one comes to his automated funeral or cyber grave.
SPEAKER_1: Future Uber like leads Bob to the wrong location.
SPEAKER_2: Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_1: And so Bob's trying to get there, but he doesn't make it.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, there's like one or two robots in attendance.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: At the funeral.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: It's just like a little canister, right?
SPEAKER_1: And they just sort of slot it into the wall and that's like the whole thing.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: And then it's like an automated speech drone or whatever, just like reading out like.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, the most generic.
SPEAKER_1: It like says, and it pauses and it says Ebony's are Scrooge.
SPEAKER_1: And then it just.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, it's so good.
SPEAKER_2: It's so good.
SPEAKER_2: And it's like, you did this.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: And then he comes back and is like, huh, I'm going to push the deadlines.
SPEAKER_1: We're pushing the deadlines.
SPEAKER_1: We're changing how like everything works.
SPEAKER_1: They're giving people more money, holiday breaks and infinite like sick leave.
SPEAKER_2: We're going to make sure everyone unionizes.
SPEAKER_2: It's just like fully on that.
SPEAKER_1: We're going to like restructure the company so that everybody has a say.
SPEAKER_2: It's a co-op now.
SPEAKER_1: I love this version of A Christmas Carol.
SPEAKER_2: Thank you for building it with me.
SPEAKER_2: That's what the holidays are all about.
SPEAKER_1: Is the new rendition of A Christmas Carol out every year?
SPEAKER_2: Yes, exactly.
SPEAKER_2: That's exactly what they're all about.
SPEAKER_2: Clair, finish us off on this holiday season.
SPEAKER_1: So a little before last year, I really got re-in touch with my Jewish ancestry.
SPEAKER_1: So I've been really excited to celebrate Hanukkah again.
SPEAKER_1: Or Hanukkah or Shanukkah or however you wanna pronounce it.
SPEAKER_1: Unfortunately-
SPEAKER_2: I'm not gonna make a joke about that.
SPEAKER_1: Say it.
SPEAKER_2: Shanukkah?
SPEAKER_1: So one of my things, every evening in Hanukkah, you light the menorah and you have to like say or sing sort of a passage in Hebrew.
SPEAKER_2: Okay.
SPEAKER_1: And so my craving is to be able to fucking sing that in Hebrew fluently because my Hebrew sucks so badly.
SPEAKER_2: Are there ways to learn Hebrew easily?
SPEAKER_1: So like I tried learning it on Duolingo.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I assume there's a Duolingo Hebrew.
SPEAKER_1: There is Hebrew on Duolingo.
SPEAKER_1: The problem is I don't know the alphabet.
SPEAKER_2: Ah, right.
SPEAKER_2: There's a whole different alphabet.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, and so like I've been told like, don't learn the words, just learn the song because it's a lot easier to sing in a different language than it is to speak a different language.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: So I guess like I need like a vocal coach, but I need like a Jewish vocal coach.
SPEAKER_1: Help Brianna.
SPEAKER_1: I need a Jewish vocal coach.
SPEAKER_1: Okay.
SPEAKER_1: Where can I find a Jewish vocal coach?
SPEAKER_2: Well, there are some Jewish community centers in Vancouver.
SPEAKER_2: You might be able to find something there.
SPEAKER_1: Give me a joke, Brianna.
SPEAKER_2: We're going to find a vocal coach and then we're going to confirm them as Jewish.
SPEAKER_2: And there we go.
SPEAKER_1: Great.
SPEAKER_1: So what if I lip sync?
SPEAKER_1: So, you know, on like RuPaul or whatever.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I'm familiar with drag.
SPEAKER_1: They like lip sync to songs.
SPEAKER_1: So there's a lot of like lip syncing.
SPEAKER_1: So what if I just lip sync Hebrew?
SPEAKER_1: And like I lip sync lighting the menorah.
SPEAKER_1: So it's perfectly timed.
SPEAKER_1: And then I can work on my moves.
SPEAKER_1: Like then I can get a whole dance in there.
SPEAKER_2: Oh yeah, you could just like really vibe with it.
SPEAKER_2: You can like light it and then like-
SPEAKER_1: On the beat too.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, light it on the beat.
SPEAKER_1: I need one with like good drums.
SPEAKER_2: Is it somehow heretical to lip sync?
SPEAKER_2: Or is that like-
SPEAKER_1: Probably, but like look at what Christmas is.
SPEAKER_2: Damn, real shit.
SPEAKER_1: Like I can be a little-
SPEAKER_2: Couldn't agree more.
SPEAKER_2: How's this?
SPEAKER_2: You can lip sync and then we'll dump someone else doing it.
SPEAKER_2: Great.
SPEAKER_2: We'll dump someone else and we'll dump it in.
SPEAKER_1: So it's like a post sort of just like, I don't even like, there isn't even music playing.
SPEAKER_1: I just add it in post.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, it's digital Hanukkah.
SPEAKER_1: Donica.
SPEAKER_2: Donica.
SPEAKER_2: I'm sure there are vocal coaches out there who know Hebrew.
SPEAKER_2: I don't know that I know any.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, what are the easiest and best ways to learn a new language other than Duolingo?
SPEAKER_2: To be fully immersed in the language.
SPEAKER_2: You just have to get everyone around you to speak Hebrew all the time.
SPEAKER_1: I only have one friend who can speak Hebrew, I'm pretty sure.
SPEAKER_2: Well, the rest of us will just have to learn.
SPEAKER_2: We'll all, we'll, see, here's the way we do it.
SPEAKER_2: We'll learn Hebrew so that you can learn Hebrew.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, great.
SPEAKER_1: Wow, this is true allyship.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, this is allyship.
SPEAKER_2: This is solidarity.
SPEAKER_1: How long is this gonna take?
SPEAKER_1: Like a month?
SPEAKER_2: A month?
SPEAKER_2: To learn a whole language?
SPEAKER_2: That's nothing.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, I haven't done it in a week.
SPEAKER_2: I know so many languages, like English, Middle English.
SPEAKER_2: Hebrew is basically the same as Middle English, I think.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, they use like the same alphabet.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, they basically use the same alphabet.
SPEAKER_2: I'm not super familiar with Hebrew.
SPEAKER_2: How does the alphabet differ from, is it just a completely different alphabet?
SPEAKER_1: It's just a completely, like I could show you, but like-
SPEAKER_2: Is it a different number of letters?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: That sounds like a lot of work.
SPEAKER_2: If you consider just doing it, just like stare at the alphabet long enough until it absorbs into your brain.
SPEAKER_2: Alternatively, now I know, okay, we could just get a voice modulator that just switches up when you say words, it just automatically translates them to Hebrew.
SPEAKER_1: See, the thing is I need to know it in English then.
SPEAKER_2: Well, you don't have to learn a new alphabet that way though.
SPEAKER_1: That's true, what if maybe I just hire the choir?
SPEAKER_1: You know that queer choir that we-
SPEAKER_2: Do they know Hebrew?
SPEAKER_1: Probably.
SPEAKER_2: They're a choir, they know Hebrew, all choirs know Hebrew.
SPEAKER_1: All choirs know Latin, Hebrew, French, Middle English.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, that's what, yeah, my mom's in a choir, she knows all those languages.
SPEAKER_1: You know Middle English choirs?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, oh man, I would love to be in a Middle English choir, are you kidding me, that should be wild.
SPEAKER_2: One that I pull with, he's sure as a sword.
SPEAKER_1: This kind of sounds like a Latin choir.
SPEAKER_2: I mean Middle English is not that far from Latin.
SPEAKER_2: Hebrew is pretty far from Latin though.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Cause we know people who know Latin, but unfortunately that's not gonna really get us there.
SPEAKER_1: No.
SPEAKER_2: You know someone who knows Hebrew, can you simply?
SPEAKER_1: Just sort of like get them to do it.
SPEAKER_2: Just get them.
SPEAKER_1: One thing is I know lots of people who know the hymn.
SPEAKER_2: So simply.
SPEAKER_1: Just don't do it myself or just follow along.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, follow along and just sort of like.
SPEAKER_1: One beat behind, just like a Skype call.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Just sing it without really knowing it exactly, but just sort of.
SPEAKER_2: It's like when you're, it's like when you're in.
SPEAKER_1: When you're learning a new song.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Or like when you're in band or choir in school and you don't really know where everyone is.
SPEAKER_2: And you're just like, where are we, where are we?
SPEAKER_1: Hanukkah, but offbeat.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Also you just do a call and response.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, good.
SPEAKER_1: That's actually great.
SPEAKER_2: I think that's something that they do in religion sometimes, right?
SPEAKER_1: In religion.
SPEAKER_1: Yes.
SPEAKER_1: In religion, I say a thing and then I expect you to say the same thing after me.
SPEAKER_2: Yes.
SPEAKER_1: I think that's communication.
SPEAKER_1: I think that's imposing an idea on somebody.
SPEAKER_1: I say a thing and then you repeat it back to me.
SPEAKER_2: And then we both believe it.
SPEAKER_2: Amen.
SPEAKER_1: This episode is over.
SPEAKER_2: The episode is over.
SPEAKER_1: You can find us on social media.
SPEAKER_2: You can find us on social media at Salt Cravings on YouTube.
SPEAKER_2: No.
SPEAKER_2: At Salt Cravings on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
SPEAKER_2: You can also check out our YouTube.
SPEAKER_2: We do have that.
SPEAKER_2: It is not for us at Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_2: It is in the description though.
SPEAKER_2: You can email us your submissions.
SPEAKER_1: Submissions at saltcravings.com.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, we would love to hear your cravings.
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SPEAKER_1: And if you think we're funny or you like us or you don't think we're funny, you should give us donations.
SPEAKER_2: You should give us donations.
SPEAKER_2: You can, yeah, you can give us a dollar.
SPEAKER_1: We'll sound better eventually.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, you can give us a dollar.
SPEAKER_1: Like new microphones.
SPEAKER_2: Yep, we'll get new microphones.
SPEAKER_2: And you can-
SPEAKER_1: Holiday cheer.
SPEAKER_2: Holiday cheer.
SPEAKER_1: See, the thing about Hanukkah is you give a gift every day.
SPEAKER_2: Right.
SPEAKER_1: So it's worse.
SPEAKER_2: How is it worse?
SPEAKER_1: More gifts.
SPEAKER_2: Right.
SPEAKER_1: You gotta give.
SPEAKER_1: Honestly, sometimes I'm thankful Christmas got the capitalist treatment.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: Can you imagine eight days of gift giving?
SPEAKER_2: It'd be a lot of days.
SPEAKER_1: It'd be a lot of days.
SPEAKER_2: We hope everyone has a great holiday, no matter what you're celebrating.
SPEAKER_1: L'chaim.
SPEAKER_2: L'chaim.
SPEAKER_1: Almost.
SPEAKER_2: L'chaim.
SPEAKER_1: L'chaim.
SPEAKER_2: L'chaim.
SPEAKER_1: Really get back there.
SPEAKER_2: L'chaim.
SPEAKER_1: Lower.
SPEAKER_1: L'chaim.
SPEAKER_1: Uh-oh.
SPEAKER_2: L'chaim.
SPEAKER_1: Say one, two, three.