WEBVTT 00:00:25.717 --> 00:00:28.497 All right, Brianna, I have a very important mission for you. 00:00:29.337 --> 00:00:29.817 What is it? 00:00:29.837 --> 00:00:31.417 I need you to repeat after me. 00:00:32.497 --> 00:00:33.117 L'chaim. 00:00:33.517 --> 00:00:34.097 L'chaim. 00:00:34.637 --> 00:00:35.897 Okay, try again. 00:00:36.417 --> 00:00:36.957 L'chaim. 00:00:37.517 --> 00:00:37.977 Once more. 00:00:39.337 --> 00:00:40.777 Welcome to our holiday episode. 00:00:42.697 --> 00:00:44.857 This is Salt Cravings, my name is Clair. 00:00:44.877 --> 00:00:49.037 And my name's Brianna, and it's the hauling days. 00:00:49.177 --> 00:00:50.937 Yeah, take a shot, L'chaim. 00:00:51.077 --> 00:00:51.717 L'chaim. 00:00:53.397 --> 00:00:54.377 Did I get it? 00:00:54.397 --> 00:00:54.597 Yeah. 00:00:55.037 --> 00:00:56.977 Listen, I'm real, real good at this. 00:00:58.237 --> 00:00:59.637 Hey, you excited for the holidays? 00:00:59.717 --> 00:01:01.677 I'm so excited for the holidays. 00:01:03.377 --> 00:01:06.097 Ready to have some fun with some holigays? 00:01:06.437 --> 00:01:08.697 I'm always ready to have fun with holigays. 00:01:09.017 --> 00:01:10.377 What's your holigay loadout? 00:01:10.397 --> 00:01:12.217 Uh, what do you mean? 00:01:13.057 --> 00:01:14.697 What do you have equipped for the holigays? 00:01:14.797 --> 00:01:17.597 Oh, okay, I've got a candy gain. 00:01:19.137 --> 00:01:20.797 Gotta get those candy gains. 00:01:21.057 --> 00:01:22.717 Gotta get those candy gains. 00:01:22.737 --> 00:01:24.537 Do you even candy pro? 00:01:26.157 --> 00:01:26.577 Mrs. 00:01:26.597 --> 00:01:29.057 Claus to Santa Claus in North Pole. 00:01:30.037 --> 00:01:33.517 And then I have a whole bunch of gifts that I still need to figure out and also buy. 00:01:34.037 --> 00:01:36.677 Okay, does that mean you have the gifts or? 00:01:36.697 --> 00:01:44.957 Uh, I have a lot of empty boxes that part of my mission is to fill along the way. 00:01:44.977 --> 00:01:50.837 It's sort of a side quest, except it's the main quest for the holidays, but it's a side quest of whatever the loadout is for. 00:01:50.857 --> 00:01:53.717 You know, if your friends were all cats, those would be perfect gifts. 00:01:54.097 --> 00:01:55.457 I think I have some friends who are cats. 00:01:55.477 --> 00:01:57.117 I might just give them some empty boxes. 00:01:57.137 --> 00:01:58.297 Be like, have a great time. 00:01:58.317 --> 00:01:59.857 Yeah, I mean, that sounds great. 00:01:59.877 --> 00:02:00.797 I think, I think. 00:02:00.817 --> 00:02:02.557 I'll get May an empty box. 00:02:02.857 --> 00:02:04.377 Actually, May would hate an empty box. 00:02:04.397 --> 00:02:04.837 Would she? 00:02:04.917 --> 00:02:06.197 She doesn't like boxes. 00:02:06.277 --> 00:02:06.757 Weird. 00:02:06.777 --> 00:02:07.357 It's boring. 00:02:07.377 --> 00:02:08.377 Well, she's not a boring cat. 00:02:08.397 --> 00:02:09.157 She's a cuddly cat. 00:02:09.177 --> 00:02:10.237 She's not a box cat. 00:02:10.357 --> 00:02:11.297 She's not a box cat. 00:02:11.317 --> 00:02:12.677 She breaks the binary. 00:02:12.917 --> 00:02:16.097 Yeah, you can't box that cat up. 00:02:16.817 --> 00:02:19.437 She thinks outside the box. 00:02:19.457 --> 00:02:20.737 Well, yeah. 00:02:20.997 --> 00:02:22.637 What's your holiday loadout? 00:02:24.057 --> 00:02:24.597 Big knife. 00:02:25.937 --> 00:02:26.837 What's that for? 00:02:26.937 --> 00:02:28.517 And a dreidel, dual wielding. 00:02:32.517 --> 00:02:35.697 The new Jewish holiday loadout, a big knife and a dreidel. 00:02:36.617 --> 00:02:38.497 Yeah, you got it. 00:02:38.877 --> 00:02:40.177 Hell yeah, I love it. 00:02:40.237 --> 00:02:40.777 I love it. 00:02:41.797 --> 00:02:43.217 Welcome to Hanukkah, bitches. 00:02:44.257 --> 00:02:46.257 You know what else we have in our holiday loadout? 00:02:46.517 --> 00:02:46.697 Cravings! 00:02:47.237 --> 00:02:47.457 Cravings! 00:02:48.197 --> 00:02:49.062 Cravings. 00:02:49.082 --> 00:02:51.762 Do you want to hear a craving? 00:02:52.402 --> 00:02:52.902 No. 00:02:53.082 --> 00:02:55.962 Then you have to interpretive dance your craving. 00:02:56.622 --> 00:03:02.122 Oh, this was fairly easy to interpretive dance, which is dancing. 00:03:02.242 --> 00:03:02.682 Yeah. 00:03:02.702 --> 00:03:08.262 I'm dancing because what I want to be doing is dancing to some gay holiday music. 00:03:10.002 --> 00:03:12.562 I would love to dance to some gay holiday music. 00:03:12.582 --> 00:03:14.922 I would love for there to be gay holiday music out there. 00:03:14.922 --> 00:03:17.342 I would love to know where the gay holiday music is. 00:03:18.037 --> 00:03:22.717 I don't know where all the gay holiday music is, but I want gay holiday music. 00:03:23.017 --> 00:03:23.577 Hmm. 00:03:23.817 --> 00:03:24.357 What is it? 00:03:24.377 --> 00:03:28.157 What criteria does it have to meet in order to be like gay holiday music? 00:03:28.177 --> 00:03:30.497 Well, there's a lot of very straight holiday music. 00:03:30.617 --> 00:03:31.617 Well, it's true. 00:03:31.877 --> 00:03:35.437 There's, so it has to be the thing that isn't that. 00:03:37.217 --> 00:03:39.297 So there's a lot of holiday music. 00:03:39.597 --> 00:03:42.297 Does like Rockin Around the Christmas Tree count? 00:03:42.317 --> 00:03:44.517 Cause it's just about rocking around the Christmas tree. 00:03:45.097 --> 00:03:48.377 That's sort of a neutral, I think, in terms of- 00:03:48.397 --> 00:03:50.897 That's a sexually neutral holiday. 00:03:51.257 --> 00:03:54.717 You don't want to fuck the rock song about the tree? 00:03:54.837 --> 00:03:56.797 You don't want to fuck the tree in that song. 00:03:56.817 --> 00:03:57.817 That's not the goal. 00:03:58.217 --> 00:04:01.137 In, if it were the case, that would be also not gay. 00:04:01.157 --> 00:04:03.317 That would be like plant sexual or something. 00:04:03.617 --> 00:04:04.097 Sorry to- 00:04:04.117 --> 00:04:05.737 Those romances feel a little planted. 00:04:07.637 --> 00:04:08.777 All right, okay. 00:04:08.797 --> 00:04:27.117 So a lot of like Christmas music, especially, is so incredibly heterosexual and is so about like, boy, look how good it is to be with your heterosexual partner in a super basic, happy relationship over the holidays. 00:04:27.157 --> 00:04:33.157 Also, it feels vaguely like it's the 1950s because a lot of holiday music is from like the 1950s. 00:04:33.377 --> 00:04:36.217 Are we keeping the 1950s vibe, but making it gay? 00:04:36.337 --> 00:04:37.077 We could. 00:04:37.097 --> 00:04:40.817 I mean, here's the thing is you can just make the songs that were straight gay. 00:04:40.857 --> 00:04:42.237 I have seen some examples of this. 00:04:42.597 --> 00:04:47.677 There's a version of Baby It's Cold Outside called Ladies It's Cold Outside by Ladies. 00:04:48.117 --> 00:04:53.137 It is a lesbian throuple version of Baby It's Cold Outside. 00:04:53.617 --> 00:04:56.637 I want all my holiday songs written by a lesbian throuple. 00:04:56.657 --> 00:04:57.797 Yeah, exactly, right? 00:04:57.977 --> 00:05:06.517 That's the thing is like, there's that where you can just take the song and like, oh, it's gay now because we either did change the pronouns or didn't change the pronouns, right? 00:05:06.537 --> 00:05:08.117 Oh, so what's up with the word throuple? 00:05:08.137 --> 00:05:09.337 Why can't we say triple? 00:05:09.357 --> 00:05:11.697 Like we can say couple, but like. 00:05:11.857 --> 00:05:15.177 Cause throuple sounds sillier. 00:05:15.457 --> 00:05:17.177 Yeah, it sounds sillier and worse. 00:05:17.657 --> 00:05:19.357 So it has to be that actually. 00:05:21.097 --> 00:05:22.917 Does that mean four is like a cupple? 00:05:23.097 --> 00:05:24.137 Ooh, ooh, cupple. 00:05:24.537 --> 00:05:29.377 Cupple and then a quid-pull, which is the name of that one sport in Harry Potter. 00:05:30.737 --> 00:05:31.437 And then there's a sex. 00:05:31.457 --> 00:05:33.157 Harry Potter, you wanna play quimple with me? 00:05:33.177 --> 00:05:36.397 And then there's a sex-pull, which is also a different thing. 00:05:37.577 --> 00:05:41.577 And so there is that vision of gay holiday music. 00:05:41.597 --> 00:05:43.397 It's like, okay, we're just gonna take the thing. 00:05:43.577 --> 00:05:47.597 But sometimes, you know, there's some imperfections in that method. 00:05:47.617 --> 00:05:49.237 For example, BB's called that side. 00:05:49.497 --> 00:05:50.137 Bad song. 00:05:50.217 --> 00:05:50.997 It's not great. 00:05:51.017 --> 00:05:52.177 I mean, great song. 00:05:52.197 --> 00:05:52.697 Great song. 00:05:52.717 --> 00:05:53.257 Bad song. 00:05:53.277 --> 00:05:56.397 Well, we're not gonna get into the discourse here. 00:05:56.577 --> 00:05:57.797 Great song, bad song. 00:05:57.817 --> 00:05:58.717 Great song, bad song. 00:05:58.737 --> 00:05:59.617 Great song, bad song. 00:05:59.777 --> 00:06:04.557 Otherwise, there's also the version where you create new songs. 00:06:05.697 --> 00:06:08.017 Are you asking us to create a new song? 00:06:08.037 --> 00:06:09.517 Yeah, we're just gonna create a new song. 00:06:09.537 --> 00:06:09.637 No. 00:06:09.657 --> 00:06:10.637 Just on the fly. 00:06:10.957 --> 00:06:12.597 Just verse back and forth. 00:06:12.617 --> 00:06:14.057 Yeah, we're just gonna create. 00:06:14.077 --> 00:06:16.537 Gonna freestyle this new Christmas song. 00:06:16.697 --> 00:06:17.697 Oh, God. 00:06:17.717 --> 00:06:20.017 A thing we're both very aptly good at. 00:06:20.037 --> 00:06:23.117 Yeah, that's extremely our wheelhouse. 00:06:23.437 --> 00:06:25.497 We make so much music. 00:06:25.757 --> 00:06:29.617 I mean, music is just poetry with backup singers. 00:06:29.637 --> 00:06:34.457 It's just poetry, but you brought along two other people. 00:06:35.357 --> 00:06:37.857 It's just three poets on the stage together. 00:06:37.877 --> 00:06:41.217 And they're just saying words and people are like, damn, I love this song. 00:06:41.637 --> 00:06:42.317 I love this song. 00:06:42.337 --> 00:06:46.377 Okay, I've had a way to figure this out. 00:06:46.697 --> 00:06:47.457 Play it on me. 00:06:47.477 --> 00:06:56.157 Which is sometimes a Christmas thing is like a big old song with lots of singers in it. 00:06:56.177 --> 00:06:58.177 Great, you mean a choir? 00:06:58.557 --> 00:06:59.157 Yes. 00:07:00.717 --> 00:07:03.657 So, who's in our gay holiday choir? 00:07:04.477 --> 00:07:10.917 Well, the thing is there is like a queer choir in Vancouver where you can just get them. 00:07:11.097 --> 00:07:12.137 We could just get them. 00:07:12.157 --> 00:07:13.897 That was a really easy solution. 00:07:13.917 --> 00:07:15.537 Great, we'll just get them to do a holiday performance. 00:07:18.197 --> 00:07:19.237 We can go down the path. 00:07:19.257 --> 00:07:21.737 We can like say like, yeah, and Sonic's in here. 00:07:23.957 --> 00:07:26.157 Sonic noted gay rights icon. 00:07:28.157 --> 00:07:30.177 What animals are we getting in our choir? 00:07:32.017 --> 00:07:34.557 What are the most vocally trained animals? 00:07:34.657 --> 00:07:36.697 Birds, are we just gonna have a choir of birds? 00:07:36.837 --> 00:07:38.717 I would like to have a choir of birds. 00:07:38.737 --> 00:07:40.577 Welcome to our band, Birds and Queers. 00:07:40.577 --> 00:07:43.657 Birds and queers do the holidays. 00:07:43.797 --> 00:07:45.697 Do the holidays. 00:07:46.017 --> 00:07:46.657 Exactly. 00:07:46.677 --> 00:07:48.297 Choo choo. 00:07:51.077 --> 00:07:52.517 Choo choo, tweet tweet. 00:07:58.377 --> 00:07:59.577 What is this? 00:08:03.257 --> 00:08:05.737 A seagull got in there because someone had fries. 00:08:05.757 --> 00:08:07.077 They were just really... 00:08:07.137 --> 00:08:08.417 They left the door open. 00:08:08.657 --> 00:08:12.097 Yeah, they left the door open and no one noticed because there were all the birds there. 00:08:13.717 --> 00:08:14.677 I was hungry. 00:08:14.977 --> 00:08:15.897 Yeah, yeah. 00:08:15.917 --> 00:08:17.237 Come on, let me live. 00:08:17.257 --> 00:08:19.037 Fries are holiday food. 00:08:19.057 --> 00:08:20.497 Fries are holiday food. 00:08:20.517 --> 00:08:23.877 Okay, so like what are some good solutions to this craving? 00:08:23.897 --> 00:08:28.277 Because listen, if I knew how to solve this craving, I would have solved it already. 00:08:28.297 --> 00:08:29.477 It would have made a whole album. 00:08:29.557 --> 00:08:30.137 That's fair. 00:08:30.177 --> 00:08:32.297 There are some gay songs that are coming out. 00:08:32.317 --> 00:08:35.917 For example, I'm very excited for, I guess it will probably come out by now. 00:08:36.097 --> 00:08:40.077 There's a song that Left at London is doing called Santa's Homophobic. 00:08:40.897 --> 00:08:43.777 And it has SonicFox on it. 00:08:43.877 --> 00:08:45.337 Oh my, holy Christ. 00:08:45.677 --> 00:08:47.817 Along with SungWon Cho. 00:08:48.137 --> 00:08:49.157 Who's SungWon Cho? 00:08:49.177 --> 00:08:55.117 He does a lot of like videos, did some vines and stuff where he does like voice acting and anime. 00:08:55.957 --> 00:09:02.497 Oh, wait, the one with like the object anime where it's like chair. 00:09:02.517 --> 00:09:03.657 ProzD, ProzD. 00:09:03.697 --> 00:09:05.757 Yeah, ProzD, God, ProzD. 00:09:05.837 --> 00:09:06.837 ProzD, ProzD. 00:09:06.877 --> 00:09:10.757 Yeah, so ProzD and SonicFox are gonna be on Left at London's song. 00:09:11.417 --> 00:09:12.477 Santa's Homophobic. 00:09:12.497 --> 00:09:13.677 So like we're getting some. 00:09:13.697 --> 00:09:14.677 I just want all three. 00:09:14.897 --> 00:09:17.797 Like that's it, that's the album, right? 00:09:17.817 --> 00:09:18.457 Yeah, yeah. 00:09:18.717 --> 00:09:21.257 You don't need anybody else, it's just those three. 00:09:21.677 --> 00:09:26.297 But also I would love to see some of the beloved queer artists just like release some holiday albums. 00:09:26.317 --> 00:09:29.917 I mean, I wouldn't mind Hayley Kiyoko like just slamming something down. 00:09:29.937 --> 00:09:30.637 Yeah, we could. 00:09:31.857 --> 00:09:34.057 Give me the Malblom Christmas album. 00:09:34.257 --> 00:09:37.617 I would lose my shit over Malblom Christmas album. 00:09:37.637 --> 00:09:38.457 Are you kidding me? 00:09:38.477 --> 00:09:40.557 I was like looking at my Spotify rap. 00:09:40.557 --> 00:09:43.557 I didn't know about Malblom until y'all took me to the concert. 00:09:43.577 --> 00:09:43.897 Yeah. 00:09:43.917 --> 00:09:45.677 They became my number one this year. 00:09:45.697 --> 00:09:46.697 Oh my God, did they? 00:09:46.717 --> 00:09:47.357 They did, yeah. 00:09:47.377 --> 00:09:48.157 Yeah, they're so new. 00:09:48.177 --> 00:09:49.617 So like I'm 100% on board for. 00:09:49.637 --> 00:09:51.157 My number one was Shura. 00:09:51.537 --> 00:09:54.497 So, or no, my number one was Carly Rae, actually. 00:09:54.617 --> 00:09:55.977 My number two was Shura. 00:09:56.257 --> 00:09:57.757 Shura, I would love to see do. 00:09:57.777 --> 00:09:58.897 Are you sure about that? 00:09:59.657 --> 00:10:00.437 I take it no. 00:10:00.577 --> 00:10:02.577 I'm gonna push past that. 00:10:02.717 --> 00:10:05.037 I would love to see a Shura holiday album. 00:10:05.097 --> 00:10:08.277 I feel it would be in the vein of sad holiday songs. 00:10:08.477 --> 00:10:10.597 Okay, what's a sad holiday song? 00:10:10.617 --> 00:10:12.257 Is like the Christmas tree burned down. 00:10:12.517 --> 00:10:19.197 It's more like, it's more like the, you know that brand of like, my Christmas is gonna be bad cause you're not here and I miss you. 00:10:19.597 --> 00:10:21.097 You want that? 00:10:21.277 --> 00:10:22.457 Oh, what if there's like a song? 00:10:22.517 --> 00:10:26.277 So you know how queers are off in long distance because dating online is a huge part of it. 00:10:26.337 --> 00:10:27.837 Yes, yes. 00:10:28.157 --> 00:10:33.277 I want like a Christmas song where it's like a duet, but they're across like a country from each other. 00:10:34.797 --> 00:10:38.817 And like the concept is they're like on a video call or something. 00:10:44.217 --> 00:10:45.837 Are they slightly off beat? 00:10:46.217 --> 00:10:50.977 Yeah, at one point, someone tries to like start their verse and the person's still going. 00:10:51.297 --> 00:10:53.057 And they're like, oh, sorry. 00:10:53.577 --> 00:10:54.377 Sorry, no, you go. 00:10:54.377 --> 00:10:55.457 No, you go. 00:10:56.657 --> 00:10:57.197 I'll start. 00:10:58.237 --> 00:10:58.737 Oh, fuck. 00:11:02.977 --> 00:11:04.177 That'd be extremely good. 00:11:04.197 --> 00:11:08.117 I think there's just supposed to be more Christmas music around gay themes. 00:11:08.377 --> 00:11:08.717 Gay. 00:11:08.737 --> 00:11:10.597 Let's go cut a Christmas tree down together. 00:11:11.437 --> 00:11:12.837 And like hold hands. 00:11:13.277 --> 00:11:14.357 And go to Christmas park. 00:11:14.477 --> 00:11:15.317 Yeah, exactly. 00:11:15.377 --> 00:11:16.277 Let's go cut down a tree. 00:11:16.297 --> 00:11:17.617 That's what you call them, right? 00:11:18.157 --> 00:11:18.637 The what? 00:11:18.657 --> 00:11:20.677 The Christmas park where you get your trees. 00:11:20.697 --> 00:11:23.837 Yeah, the totally legal place to get your trees from. 00:11:24.537 --> 00:11:27.657 Let's go cut down a tree together. 00:11:27.757 --> 00:11:30.577 We'll hold hands and run from the cops. 00:11:32.197 --> 00:11:35.317 You missed weather and weather this weather. 00:11:35.397 --> 00:11:37.077 Come on, it was right there. 00:11:38.597 --> 00:11:39.657 Maybe I should write this. 00:11:39.677 --> 00:11:40.977 Yeah, maybe you should write. 00:11:40.997 --> 00:11:44.277 Yeah, I wanna have this song on my desk by Tuesday. 00:11:44.497 --> 00:11:47.217 What are some titles for these Christmas songs? 00:11:47.397 --> 00:11:50.757 Cause we have like, Baby is Cold Outside, Christmas Rock or whatever. 00:11:50.777 --> 00:11:52.297 Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel. 00:11:54.337 --> 00:11:58.697 Um, for the long distance one, Discord Christmas. 00:12:00.817 --> 00:12:01.717 Christmas Discord. 00:12:01.897 --> 00:12:03.337 Yeah, Christmas Discord. 00:12:03.437 --> 00:12:10.577 And like one of their families is like calling them in the background like, I'm down, dinner's ready, give me a minute. 00:12:10.597 --> 00:12:11.797 It's perfect, it's perfect. 00:12:11.817 --> 00:12:12.837 In the middle of a call. 00:12:12.997 --> 00:12:16.237 Who are you talking with? 00:12:16.237 --> 00:12:18.557 It doesn't matter, you don't know them. 00:12:19.597 --> 00:12:22.657 I think for the cutting on the tree one, that's Lumberjack Lesbians Christmas. 00:12:23.817 --> 00:12:26.837 Those were really the two songs that we came up with. 00:12:26.997 --> 00:12:27.937 Those are all the songs. 00:12:27.957 --> 00:12:33.457 Yeah, listen, we'll, every year we can just make a couple more, eventually we'll have enough for our Christmas playlist. 00:12:34.377 --> 00:12:41.197 Cause that's what I want really, is what I want is to be able to build a gay Christmas playlist because I can't do that because I know of like two songs. 00:12:41.637 --> 00:12:45.217 I know everyone puts on like, either Michael Buble or Sufjan Stevens. 00:12:45.237 --> 00:12:48.637 And those are like the two sort of genders that you get to choose from. 00:12:48.657 --> 00:12:49.357 Yeah, exactly. 00:12:49.677 --> 00:12:55.177 Speaking of course, Michael Buble wrote the straightest Christmas song of all time, Santa Buddy. 00:12:56.457 --> 00:12:59.517 I mean, are they buddies or are they like buddies? 00:12:59.977 --> 00:13:03.677 Yeah, I want the way hornier version of Santa Buddy. 00:13:04.237 --> 00:13:06.497 Give me the horny, hornyest version. 00:13:06.657 --> 00:13:12.197 Like make it as horny as Santa Baby was, but have it be like, Santa Pally. 00:13:12.557 --> 00:13:13.177 Pally? 00:13:13.197 --> 00:13:13.997 That's worse than Buddy. 00:13:14.017 --> 00:13:15.837 That's one of the lyrics in the song. 00:13:15.837 --> 00:13:17.057 Oh, that's so bad. 00:13:17.077 --> 00:13:19.497 At one point he says, Santa Pally. 00:13:19.757 --> 00:13:20.997 Pally is such a bad- 00:13:21.017 --> 00:13:26.237 A group 69 convertible to Jet Blue. 00:13:26.257 --> 00:13:28.817 Like these are lyrics from the fucking song. 00:13:29.097 --> 00:13:31.037 I mean, you could easily change those. 00:13:31.637 --> 00:13:35.337 Oh yeah, you could easily change that to be about another 69 convertible. 00:13:35.837 --> 00:13:37.417 If you know what I mean. 00:13:37.437 --> 00:13:39.337 Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. 00:13:39.657 --> 00:13:41.197 Well, it was already blue. 00:13:41.217 --> 00:13:42.097 Well, now it's red. 00:13:42.297 --> 00:13:43.517 It's like a darker blue. 00:13:43.677 --> 00:13:44.737 Red is darker blue. 00:13:44.757 --> 00:13:45.257 Right, right. 00:13:45.277 --> 00:13:47.117 It's like a darker blue-red. 00:13:47.137 --> 00:13:48.997 It's like a blue-red. 00:13:48.997 --> 00:13:50.137 No, not a purple. 00:13:50.157 --> 00:13:51.037 It's a blue-red. 00:13:51.057 --> 00:13:51.797 No, it's a blue-red. 00:13:51.817 --> 00:13:52.737 Yeah, it's a blue-red. 00:13:52.757 --> 00:13:54.557 It's to help them keep their masculinity. 00:13:56.157 --> 00:13:57.757 It's very important to them. 00:13:57.777 --> 00:13:59.997 It's not purple, it's blue-red. 00:14:00.577 --> 00:14:02.277 Santa mask for mask. 00:14:03.157 --> 00:14:04.197 Santa for Santa. 00:14:04.857 --> 00:14:06.337 Santa for Santa. 00:14:06.357 --> 00:14:08.997 Mall Santas, and they meet up. 00:14:09.657 --> 00:14:10.957 It's the meeting of the Mall Santas. 00:14:11.897 --> 00:14:12.577 What the fuck? 00:14:12.597 --> 00:14:12.897 This is cute. 00:14:12.917 --> 00:14:16.057 It's the Mall Santa committee, and they all sort of pair up. 00:14:16.637 --> 00:14:17.437 No, it's just like... 00:14:17.457 --> 00:14:18.537 One of them's gonna throuple. 00:14:19.837 --> 00:14:20.737 Santa throuple. 00:14:21.217 --> 00:14:22.557 Santa throuple. 00:14:22.577 --> 00:14:25.957 And sung to the tune of Santa, baby. 00:14:26.277 --> 00:14:27.717 Santa throuple. 00:14:28.977 --> 00:14:31.817 Those are some good gay Christmas songs. 00:14:32.177 --> 00:14:34.377 We'll get them in the recording studio ASAP. 00:14:34.397 --> 00:14:34.697 Yeah. 00:14:34.797 --> 00:14:36.837 Do you have a holiday craving? 00:14:36.897 --> 00:14:37.417 I do. 00:14:39.877 --> 00:14:46.017 My favorite part of the holidays is the relaxation, the really like... 00:14:46.037 --> 00:14:46.377 Yeah. 00:14:46.557 --> 00:14:48.777 The low key of it, right? 00:14:48.917 --> 00:14:57.377 Not everyone gets this, but often you get to take time off, or you get to see family or friends or chosen family. 00:14:58.237 --> 00:15:01.697 So like the best thing about time off is midday naps. 00:15:02.057 --> 00:15:03.537 Ooh. 00:15:03.697 --> 00:15:11.537 Where you're like, I'm very tired because I didn't have to get up, but I did because I'm so conditioned to get up. 00:15:11.717 --> 00:15:12.137 Right. 00:15:12.157 --> 00:15:14.017 But there's nothing really keeping me awake. 00:15:14.397 --> 00:15:14.857 Right. 00:15:16.797 --> 00:15:20.797 Why not just like, you know, it's like it's 11, it's 1, who cares? 00:15:21.537 --> 00:15:22.917 And you take that power nap. 00:15:24.097 --> 00:15:25.057 Do you set your alarm? 00:15:25.057 --> 00:15:26.177 Maybe you do, maybe you don't. 00:15:26.197 --> 00:15:28.837 Maybe you're, maybe you're trying to get that perfect amount of time. 00:15:28.857 --> 00:15:31.937 Maybe you mess up your sleep schedule and you don't go to sleep until 3 a.m. 00:15:32.157 --> 00:15:32.997 And that's okay. 00:15:33.017 --> 00:15:33.437 And that's okay. 00:15:33.457 --> 00:15:34.397 Because it's the holidays. 00:15:34.417 --> 00:15:35.777 It doesn't f-ing matter. 00:15:35.977 --> 00:15:37.557 Nothing matters. 00:15:37.997 --> 00:15:39.117 Welcome to Holiday Naps. 00:15:39.857 --> 00:15:41.257 Mid-afternoon naps are very good. 00:15:41.437 --> 00:15:43.177 I'm not very good at taking naps. 00:15:43.217 --> 00:15:45.717 Are you good at taking naps, period? 00:15:45.737 --> 00:15:47.077 No, I am really not. 00:15:47.137 --> 00:15:49.217 I have a hard time getting to sleep. 00:15:49.237 --> 00:15:55.797 The exception to the rule, I'm just gonna get gay for a minute, is I'm very good at napping with my girlfriend. 00:15:57.357 --> 00:15:58.777 But when she's not here, I'm just like... 00:15:58.877 --> 00:16:00.217 What's a nap to a god? 00:16:00.477 --> 00:16:02.197 What's a nap to a non-believer? 00:16:02.217 --> 00:16:06.397 Like, truly, there's no napping. 00:16:06.417 --> 00:16:09.597 It's just me lying there being like, go the fuck to sleep. 00:16:09.857 --> 00:16:10.997 Dude, we gotta sleep. 00:16:11.117 --> 00:16:12.957 Dude, we gotta sleep. 00:16:14.197 --> 00:16:17.557 But when I have taken them, they are delightful. 00:16:17.577 --> 00:16:19.057 They're usually good when I'm sick. 00:16:19.277 --> 00:16:21.897 Surprisingly, resting does actually help you exist. 00:16:21.917 --> 00:16:23.197 It's weird how that happens. 00:16:23.257 --> 00:16:28.097 Also, it's like that time of year where like the flu is getting around or just the cold. 00:16:28.097 --> 00:16:29.397 I've been sick the whole season. 00:16:29.997 --> 00:16:31.777 So like resting is really good. 00:16:32.037 --> 00:16:34.057 How do we save the craving of naps? 00:16:34.077 --> 00:16:36.057 Do we just take a nap here on this podcast? 00:16:36.297 --> 00:16:41.857 And you can hear me struggle to not be able to take a fucking nap and Clair be fast asleep. 00:16:42.477 --> 00:16:43.897 Well, see, here's the thing. 00:16:44.117 --> 00:16:46.997 I feel like I'm not bad at taking a nap. 00:16:47.257 --> 00:16:48.397 I just usually don't. 00:16:49.017 --> 00:16:52.377 Except if I'm like, again, if I'm with someone and it's nap time. 00:16:52.517 --> 00:16:57.377 So do you need a nap assistant to remind you when to take naps? 00:16:57.397 --> 00:16:59.637 Someone who just follows you around and be like, Okay. 00:16:59.777 --> 00:17:02.497 Clair, it's time for you to take a nap. 00:17:02.617 --> 00:17:04.377 Can I customize the accent? 00:17:04.777 --> 00:17:05.437 Absolutely. 00:17:05.457 --> 00:17:06.517 What sort of accent? 00:17:06.537 --> 00:17:06.957 Boston. 00:17:12.097 --> 00:17:13.497 Welcome to Boston. 00:17:17.637 --> 00:17:20.737 It feels sort of threatening. 00:17:20.757 --> 00:17:24.917 Time to sleep with the fishes, if you know what I mean. 00:17:25.937 --> 00:17:27.357 By that, I mean a nap. 00:17:27.897 --> 00:17:29.377 By that, I mean a nap. 00:17:30.197 --> 00:17:32.337 I'm not good at Boston accent. 00:17:32.597 --> 00:17:36.657 It just becomes a New York accent, which I can sort of do. 00:17:36.697 --> 00:17:38.297 So we have the nap assistant. 00:17:38.317 --> 00:17:43.137 We can have the nap assistant, but the nap assistant might cost money because you have to pay them a living wage and all that. 00:17:43.577 --> 00:17:47.497 But like they sleep on the job a lot of the time, so it doesn't feel worth it. 00:17:48.817 --> 00:17:49.597 Yeah, you're right. 00:17:49.617 --> 00:17:51.137 We shouldn't pay them a living wage. 00:17:51.397 --> 00:17:52.437 You're absolutely right. 00:17:52.457 --> 00:17:54.157 Well, we should pay them when they're awake. 00:17:55.577 --> 00:17:56.037 Yeah. 00:17:56.057 --> 00:17:59.117 But see, we'll be asleep, so we can't verify if they're awake. 00:17:59.137 --> 00:18:04.037 So really, what legal grounds do they have to stand for it? 00:18:04.057 --> 00:18:04.537 This is ethical. 00:18:04.557 --> 00:18:08.097 Let's exploit labor over the holidays. 00:18:08.417 --> 00:18:08.857 Yeah. 00:18:09.037 --> 00:18:14.177 Alternatively, we could look into not a person following you around. 00:18:14.197 --> 00:18:19.277 It could be like you have your alarms for your medication, but do you have your alarms for your naps? 00:18:19.717 --> 00:18:21.817 Like, what's the perfect ringtone for a nap? 00:18:21.837 --> 00:18:24.977 Because like, a medication alarm, it's like blaring. 00:18:24.997 --> 00:18:28.917 It's like, take this, take this, put this thing down your throat right now. 00:18:28.937 --> 00:18:31.697 But like, if it's nap time, it's like... 00:18:34.477 --> 00:18:35.637 Yeah, it's a lullaby. 00:18:38.297 --> 00:18:39.957 But it slowly gets louder. 00:18:40.417 --> 00:18:41.557 That's awful. 00:18:41.577 --> 00:18:42.877 It slowly gets louder. 00:18:42.897 --> 00:18:44.117 You better catch it right away. 00:18:44.137 --> 00:18:47.297 Because if you don't nap in the first five seconds... 00:18:47.697 --> 00:18:49.337 No, you can turn it off. 00:18:49.517 --> 00:18:52.457 But it will blare if you let it go for too long. 00:18:52.577 --> 00:18:54.637 Why can't it just be a lullaby? 00:18:54.897 --> 00:19:00.377 What it should be is it should be a series of notes that instantly put you to sleep. 00:19:00.597 --> 00:19:06.997 Oh god, so you're like out for brunch or whatever, and you've forgotten to take your nap. 00:19:09.197 --> 00:19:10.577 And the notes are like... 00:19:10.937 --> 00:19:14.837 And you just fucking take a nosedive into your eggs. 00:19:15.237 --> 00:19:16.517 Yes, exactly. 00:19:16.537 --> 00:19:21.117 So it's like, hey, should we wake them up? 00:19:21.517 --> 00:19:23.477 And it's just like, no, no, no. 00:19:23.557 --> 00:19:25.757 Alternatively, we could just put a chip in your brain. 00:19:25.837 --> 00:19:26.937 That's awful. 00:19:26.937 --> 00:19:27.417 Why not? 00:19:27.437 --> 00:19:28.957 This is the holiday episode. 00:19:28.977 --> 00:19:30.717 There's no dystopia here. 00:19:31.057 --> 00:19:32.677 Holidays are not about dystopia. 00:19:33.377 --> 00:19:33.897 You're right. 00:19:33.917 --> 00:19:40.537 We'll just have the tone that instantly puts you the fuck to sleep, wherever you are, or whenever you are. 00:19:40.897 --> 00:19:42.357 That's much less dystopic. 00:19:42.377 --> 00:19:45.137 We all know that holidays are a utopic thing. 00:19:45.397 --> 00:19:45.897 You're right. 00:19:45.917 --> 00:19:48.057 There's nothing bad about the holiday season. 00:19:48.077 --> 00:19:56.657 There's nothing bad about the holiday season, and there's never been any problems with any specific holidays or the ways that the holidays are done or treated. 00:19:56.837 --> 00:19:58.637 I mean, if you nap, you get away from all that. 00:19:58.657 --> 00:20:00.077 You don't even have to think about that. 00:20:00.097 --> 00:20:01.117 That's the best thing about a nap. 00:20:01.237 --> 00:20:08.957 Sometimes you see certain people over the holidays, and then you go home and you go, I need a nap. 00:20:09.857 --> 00:20:11.677 The holidays are really the time for the nap. 00:20:11.697 --> 00:20:13.697 You're like, oh shoot, did we have plans? 00:20:13.717 --> 00:20:15.877 Frick, I'm sorry, I was napping. 00:20:15.897 --> 00:20:17.777 I had a scheduled nap. 00:20:17.897 --> 00:20:23.177 Like that nap is like a plan that I can't, you know, if I don't have my nap, I'm like a little baby. 00:20:23.197 --> 00:20:23.997 I'm cranky. 00:20:24.017 --> 00:20:26.217 Mommy need her nappy. 00:20:28.557 --> 00:20:30.557 Oh, baby need a little nap. 00:20:30.657 --> 00:20:32.297 Mommy, baby need a nappy. 00:20:33.317 --> 00:20:35.117 Mommy, baby need a nappy. 00:20:35.157 --> 00:20:36.217 Holiday. 00:20:36.237 --> 00:20:41.337 You put your child down for a nap and you think, I should take a nap myself. 00:20:41.777 --> 00:20:42.157 Yes. 00:20:42.617 --> 00:20:44.637 Mommy, baby take a nappy. 00:20:46.277 --> 00:20:47.857 Holiday edition. 00:20:48.697 --> 00:20:50.557 Do you want to load out your final craving? 00:20:50.737 --> 00:20:51.777 Sure, sure. 00:20:51.797 --> 00:20:56.977 I will happily load out my final craving, which is so, are you familiar? 00:20:57.157 --> 00:20:57.857 Nope, go on. 00:20:58.677 --> 00:21:13.797 Uh, are you aware of a little story written by a man named Charles Dickens called a Christmas Carol? 00:21:13.837 --> 00:21:20.537 The thing about a Christmas Carol is that a Christmas Carol has been adapted many, many, many times. 00:21:20.557 --> 00:21:21.017 We'll get there. 00:21:26.117 --> 00:21:31.357 Let me do my whole meandering intro where I just am on my shit. 00:21:31.377 --> 00:21:32.377 All right, meander away. 00:21:32.577 --> 00:21:33.337 I'll take a nap. 00:21:34.297 --> 00:21:36.577 It has been adapted many, many, many times. 00:21:36.997 --> 00:21:49.957 And sometimes well, but often, it misses some of the crucial aspects of the story, which is, of course, a tale of anti-capitalism. 00:21:49.977 --> 00:21:50.597 Wait, they miss? 00:21:50.617 --> 00:21:51.997 How do you miss that? 00:21:52.437 --> 00:22:09.257 There's a lot of things where the story of A Christmas Carol becomes about like Christmas spirit, rather than about like, you know, paying your fucking employees and giving them the day off and like being a halfway decent boss, which is honestly an impossible thing to be. 00:22:09.277 --> 00:22:11.297 Have a hey penny, or they troubles. 00:22:11.717 --> 00:22:12.497 It's the holidays. 00:22:12.637 --> 00:22:13.177 It's the holidays. 00:22:13.197 --> 00:22:14.217 Have an extra hey penny. 00:22:14.397 --> 00:22:15.317 Yeah, a what? 00:22:15.657 --> 00:22:16.377 Two hey pennies. 00:22:16.857 --> 00:22:17.817 Hey penny? 00:22:17.837 --> 00:22:18.777 Yeah, like a hey penny. 00:22:18.997 --> 00:22:19.857 A hey penny? 00:22:19.957 --> 00:22:21.637 It's like what you call a half penny. 00:22:21.657 --> 00:22:23.617 Oh, is that a thing that you can call a half penny? 00:22:23.637 --> 00:22:24.497 I thought so. 00:22:24.577 --> 00:22:25.137 Interesting. 00:22:25.217 --> 00:22:27.457 Tell me about your OC, the Christmas Carol. 00:22:28.257 --> 00:22:32.937 So, Christmas Carol is, she is a Christmas person named Carol. 00:22:32.957 --> 00:22:41.617 No, the thing is that a Christmas Carol often becomes about like being a nice person, or having Christmas spirit, or getting into the season. 00:22:41.677 --> 00:22:43.997 Or defeating some ghosts with your broadsword. 00:22:44.057 --> 00:22:44.937 That would be sick. 00:22:46.157 --> 00:22:49.097 First of all, best version of a Christmas Carol is the Muppets Christmas Carol. 00:22:49.117 --> 00:22:49.837 Thank you very much. 00:22:50.817 --> 00:22:57.177 I like the 1951 Christmas Carol where Alastair Sim is Ebenezer Scrooge. 00:22:57.337 --> 00:22:59.057 But yeah, I really like his version. 00:22:59.077 --> 00:23:00.537 He sucks a lot. 00:23:00.577 --> 00:23:00.977 Great. 00:23:00.997 --> 00:23:01.877 That's extremely good. 00:23:01.897 --> 00:23:02.817 He's great at sucking. 00:23:02.917 --> 00:23:04.177 That's extremely good. 00:23:04.177 --> 00:23:04.597 I love it. 00:23:04.617 --> 00:23:06.217 Ebenezer Scrooge who's great at sucking. 00:23:06.357 --> 00:23:09.297 And like the door handles really effed up in that one. 00:23:09.357 --> 00:23:09.877 Perfect. 00:23:10.117 --> 00:23:10.477 Yeah. 00:23:10.557 --> 00:23:15.357 I am so desperate for specifically a modern day Christmas Carol. 00:23:15.377 --> 00:23:21.377 Because like it is easy to separate yourself from the basic themes of a Christmas Carol when you're talking to the 1800s. 00:23:21.397 --> 00:23:27.337 Because people are going to be like, yeah, the industrial revolution sure did do some bad stuff to people. 00:23:27.577 --> 00:23:29.377 Like yeah, we can all admit that. 00:23:29.397 --> 00:23:34.557 But no one considers that the themes of a Christmas Carol are just as resonant in today's society. 00:23:34.657 --> 00:23:52.757 I watched a video on this from PopularC-C, did a video called Modern Christmas Carol's Adaptation and Loss of Meaning that goes into why and how a lot of modern day adaptations of Christmas Carols lose the anti-capitalist message or at least the like, be a less shitty boss message, right? 00:23:52.937 --> 00:24:07.117 So what I want is a version of a Christmas Carol that is set in 2019, but keeps the message, be a good person and don't be a wealth hoarder, you piece of shit, because that's what Christmas is all about. 00:24:07.917 --> 00:24:09.077 So who are the ghosts? 00:24:09.097 --> 00:24:11.717 Like what are the ghosts in the modern day Christmas Carol? 00:24:11.737 --> 00:24:12.577 Is it like legit? 00:24:12.597 --> 00:24:15.137 We're still doing like ghosts or is it like? 00:24:15.157 --> 00:24:16.657 I think it's still got to be. 00:24:16.677 --> 00:24:17.437 I love the ghosts. 00:24:17.457 --> 00:24:19.797 I love the weird supernatural elements. 00:24:19.877 --> 00:24:21.877 So I think it's like a penthouse suite, right? 00:24:21.897 --> 00:24:26.197 Like instead of the English, like a cobble house or whatever that Scrooge lives in. 00:24:26.397 --> 00:24:27.577 What is he the owner of? 00:24:27.637 --> 00:24:28.397 What business? 00:24:28.537 --> 00:24:31.517 He's in charge of a mining business, isn't he? 00:24:31.817 --> 00:24:38.137 In the original, yes, but I have a different idea, which is Scrooge is in charge of a small tech company. 00:24:38.157 --> 00:24:52.537 Yeah, I love the idea of like a small tech CEO, like having like a penthouse suite in some apartments and like, you know, Silicon Valley, probably, or Vancouver, or Vancouver was just set in Vancouver. 00:24:52.557 --> 00:24:53.617 Let's do the full thing. 00:24:53.637 --> 00:25:03.997 Like and so, you know, the door handle scene where Scrooge goes to like reach for the door knob or whatever, and it turns into like a face, right? 00:25:04.577 --> 00:25:09.897 Yeah, that that but with elevator keys, and he like with the penthouse suite elevator key. 00:25:09.917 --> 00:25:10.577 Yeah, I love it. 00:25:10.617 --> 00:25:11.117 I love it. 00:25:11.137 --> 00:25:11.957 He like tries. 00:25:11.997 --> 00:25:12.797 He like tries it. 00:25:12.817 --> 00:25:15.137 It's just like, nope, he puts his finger into it. 00:25:15.937 --> 00:25:16.657 Oh, yes. 00:25:17.157 --> 00:25:18.037 It's super good. 00:25:18.217 --> 00:25:19.597 So these ghosts, right? 00:25:19.617 --> 00:25:20.857 Like, who are they? 00:25:20.877 --> 00:25:25.377 So there's the Jacob Marley character, which is like specifically someone the Marley's, right? 00:25:25.397 --> 00:25:31.017 Like the Marley's are still the Marley's, but they're they're business partners, but they got bought out. 00:25:31.417 --> 00:25:32.177 Their business partner. 00:25:32.177 --> 00:25:33.457 Well, the Marley's are dead. 00:25:33.477 --> 00:25:34.617 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:25:34.937 --> 00:25:35.937 What if they are? 00:25:36.277 --> 00:25:38.557 And so this is a thing that tech companies do. 00:25:38.597 --> 00:25:40.537 They sort of like eat other companies. 00:25:40.557 --> 00:25:43.577 They sort of like subsidiaries or whatnot. 00:25:43.717 --> 00:25:46.117 It's not the same company, but we own you. 00:25:46.917 --> 00:25:58.077 So what if it's like two of those companies where like the once CEOs of those companies like just sort of got bought out and like lost everything and then like perished? 00:25:58.477 --> 00:25:58.797 Right. 00:25:58.817 --> 00:25:59.797 They fucking died. 00:25:59.817 --> 00:26:02.477 Yeah, and so those are Marley and Marley. 00:26:02.857 --> 00:26:07.657 But isn't the whole thing of the Marley's is that they were also like they were like Scrooge. 00:26:07.677 --> 00:26:08.777 Yeah, they're CEOs. 00:26:09.637 --> 00:26:10.317 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:26:10.337 --> 00:26:15.817 They were past CEOs, but like they lost their company and probably not in a great way. 00:26:16.817 --> 00:26:17.457 I'm down with that. 00:26:17.477 --> 00:26:18.097 I'm down with that. 00:26:18.157 --> 00:26:20.617 So let's run through this actually just from the start. 00:26:21.397 --> 00:26:23.837 For anyone who hasn't seen A Christmas Carol. 00:27:23.877 --> 00:27:30.237 Yeah, exactly, so that's how we set it up and then we get to the Marley's who are like, you bought us out. 00:27:30.397 --> 00:27:31.537 That was a shitty move. 00:27:32.217 --> 00:27:36.717 And also, we were like you once and hey, we're in hell now. 00:27:36.837 --> 00:27:39.817 So you may not want to do this. 00:27:40.097 --> 00:27:45.457 The Ghost of Christmas Pass is like usually like a fairy or a fairy esque or fae esque. 00:27:45.477 --> 00:27:46.197 Yeah, yeah. 00:27:46.217 --> 00:27:47.257 Of some variety. 00:27:47.277 --> 00:27:47.917 Yeah. 00:27:48.437 --> 00:27:48.837 What if? 00:27:49.237 --> 00:27:49.617 Fuck. 00:27:50.197 --> 00:27:51.917 God is an ex-wife. 00:27:53.297 --> 00:27:53.717 Okay. 00:27:53.717 --> 00:27:54.157 Okay. 00:27:54.177 --> 00:27:58.637 Do you want to hear the description of Ghost of Christmas Pass in the original story? 00:27:58.777 --> 00:28:03.717 The Ghost of Christmas Pass appears to Scrooge as a white-robed androgynous figure of indeterminate age. 00:28:04.117 --> 00:28:04.717 Oh, God. 00:28:04.737 --> 00:28:06.397 So it's a non-binary character. 00:28:06.657 --> 00:28:07.857 Fairies. 00:28:11.037 --> 00:28:11.857 We're allowed to do this. 00:28:11.877 --> 00:28:12.177 We're gay. 00:28:12.637 --> 00:28:15.277 Ghost of Christmas Pass is a non-binary person. 00:28:15.597 --> 00:28:22.757 What if Scrooge is like a gay cis man who like used to be involved in the queer community? 00:28:22.957 --> 00:28:23.517 Oh, my God. 00:28:23.597 --> 00:28:28.997 And so like his like past is like he actually like helped people. 00:28:29.137 --> 00:28:29.957 Holy shit. 00:28:29.977 --> 00:28:35.077 And so like the non-binary ghost shows up and is like, hey, remember this? 00:28:35.097 --> 00:28:37.457 Remember when you got involved in community? 00:28:37.477 --> 00:28:43.697 Remember when you were like actually like gave a shit about people and then your tech business took off? 00:28:43.717 --> 00:28:43.937 Yeah. 00:28:43.957 --> 00:28:45.617 And then you stopped caring about everyone? 00:28:45.637 --> 00:28:47.437 You started worrying about the profit. 00:28:47.797 --> 00:28:49.477 Ghost of Christmas Present is supposed to- 00:28:49.497 --> 00:28:50.817 Is the food one, right? 00:28:50.857 --> 00:28:55.977 It's the lounge manager who like would always bring food into the tech company. 00:28:56.097 --> 00:29:00.877 God, usually in versions of this, it looks like Santa Claus vaguely. 00:29:01.057 --> 00:29:02.817 So it's the lounge manager. 00:29:03.057 --> 00:29:07.837 It's a lounge manager who also happens to be a mall manager because he's got a second job. 00:29:07.857 --> 00:29:09.557 Yeah, because they weren't paid enough. 00:29:09.577 --> 00:29:10.557 It was like the intern. 00:29:10.577 --> 00:29:11.417 Yeah, exactly. 00:29:11.417 --> 00:29:12.797 It was the intern. 00:29:13.097 --> 00:29:14.277 We pay the intern. 00:29:14.497 --> 00:29:16.897 We pay the intern in experience. 00:29:17.337 --> 00:29:20.837 Once they prove that they're committed to the company. 00:29:20.857 --> 00:29:21.317 Yeah. 00:29:21.597 --> 00:29:26.957 So appears in like a mall Santa outfit to Scrooge. 00:29:27.897 --> 00:29:30.377 And it just like takes him to see like... 00:29:30.517 --> 00:29:35.657 It shows the past and then it shows the present of that past and then also Scrooge's present. 00:29:39.697 --> 00:29:43.257 I remember it also at one point shows Bob Cratchit's life right now. 00:29:43.277 --> 00:29:45.317 That's what I mean by like Scrooge's life right now. 00:29:45.337 --> 00:29:51.657 So we got like the update on the past, but then we have like what is Scrooge's effect right now? 00:29:51.817 --> 00:29:57.117 Yeah and Scrooge's effect is Bob Cratchit coming home extremely late. 00:29:57.397 --> 00:29:59.717 Overworked while everyone else is like... 00:30:00.577 --> 00:30:02.177 Why are you coming in at 9 p.m.? 00:30:02.277 --> 00:30:04.537 It's like how we worked half day today. 00:30:04.557 --> 00:30:05.637 Yeah exactly. 00:30:05.677 --> 00:30:11.857 And just like eating the leftover food or whatever from the like table alone. 00:30:11.877 --> 00:30:13.377 Like left out on the table. 00:30:13.457 --> 00:30:22.137 Yeah exactly and it's just like his partner being like, hey are you gonna be able to like come home sooner any day? 00:30:22.157 --> 00:30:30.417 Because like Tim's not doing so well and like you know, it's the classic Christmas Carol shit and Scrooge's like yikes. 00:30:32.437 --> 00:30:33.757 And then we get to the big yikes. 00:30:34.637 --> 00:30:35.417 Who's death? 00:30:35.637 --> 00:30:38.817 So usually it's like legit like, I don't know, skeleton. 00:30:38.837 --> 00:30:40.577 People are horny for death these days. 00:30:40.677 --> 00:30:43.657 So it's death but sexy. 00:30:44.837 --> 00:30:46.537 Death but, death fucks. 00:30:46.537 --> 00:30:54.797 Death but, it's like, it's death, but you know on Tumblr they're gonna be posting gif sets of this death being like, I wish this guy would kill me. 00:30:58.957 --> 00:31:00.457 This is my daddy death. 00:31:01.917 --> 00:31:05.057 Daddy death is the tag that he's gonna get. 00:31:05.417 --> 00:31:07.097 He still doesn't talk much. 00:31:07.117 --> 00:31:09.457 He just sort of is ominous and creepy. 00:31:09.477 --> 00:31:12.797 So like the hood is still up, but his abs are exposed. 00:31:12.897 --> 00:31:15.157 And like, you can just see his like smile. 00:31:16.757 --> 00:31:18.117 It's a perfect smile. 00:31:18.137 --> 00:31:19.777 Listen, you don't need anything else. 00:31:19.797 --> 00:31:22.637 And also yeah, his abs being exposed is super good. 00:31:22.657 --> 00:31:24.157 It's like a crop top cloak. 00:31:25.937 --> 00:31:27.637 And it like continues down. 00:31:27.657 --> 00:31:28.817 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:31:29.297 --> 00:31:30.457 Oh, this is so good. 00:31:33.657 --> 00:31:36.737 And then he shows him, hey, this is your future. 00:31:36.757 --> 00:31:38.277 It's an automated ceremony. 00:31:38.577 --> 00:31:39.917 It's an automated ceremony. 00:31:40.637 --> 00:31:41.317 Oh yeah. 00:31:41.437 --> 00:31:43.117 This is just for the quick ceremonies. 00:31:43.297 --> 00:31:44.957 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:31:44.977 --> 00:31:49.137 There was not like any interest in like having a ceremony for him. 00:31:49.277 --> 00:31:51.477 Yeah, I mean like he was never around. 00:31:51.597 --> 00:31:52.837 He was never around, right? 00:31:52.877 --> 00:31:55.337 Like I like the idea of the automated funeral. 00:31:55.777 --> 00:32:02.297 But I think Cratchit shows up and it's like Cratchit trying to convince his family and them being like, no. 00:32:02.537 --> 00:32:06.677 And him being like, well, I have all this time now cause I've been promoted. 00:32:06.697 --> 00:32:11.737 But unfortunately Tim, Tim didn't make it, but he's been promoted. 00:32:11.757 --> 00:32:13.417 So now he has all the money. 00:32:14.557 --> 00:32:15.917 Bob's become the capitalist. 00:32:15.937 --> 00:32:17.797 That's the real evil future. 00:32:18.017 --> 00:32:19.817 So yeah, this is extremely good. 00:32:20.057 --> 00:32:24.697 And yeah, and no one comes to his automated funeral or cyber grave. 00:32:24.717 --> 00:32:27.417 Future Uber like leads Bob to the wrong location. 00:32:27.437 --> 00:32:28.317 Oh yeah. 00:32:28.337 --> 00:32:31.517 And so Bob's trying to get there, but he doesn't make it. 00:32:31.557 --> 00:32:33.837 Yeah, there's like one or two robots in attendance. 00:32:33.857 --> 00:32:34.337 Yeah. 00:32:34.617 --> 00:32:35.357 At the funeral. 00:32:35.377 --> 00:32:35.657 Yeah. 00:32:35.677 --> 00:32:37.357 It's just like a little canister, right? 00:32:37.377 --> 00:32:40.217 And they just sort of slot it into the wall and that's like the whole thing. 00:32:40.337 --> 00:32:40.717 Yeah. 00:32:40.757 --> 00:32:45.237 And then it's like an automated speech drone or whatever, just like reading out like. 00:32:45.257 --> 00:32:47.077 Yeah, the most generic. 00:32:47.097 --> 00:32:50.377 It like says, and it pauses and it says Ebony's are Scrooge. 00:32:50.497 --> 00:32:51.057 And then it just. 00:32:51.417 --> 00:32:52.457 Oh, it's so good. 00:32:52.477 --> 00:32:53.457 It's so good. 00:32:55.257 --> 00:32:57.217 And it's like, you did this. 00:32:57.717 --> 00:32:58.097 Yeah. 00:32:58.117 --> 00:33:02.137 And then he comes back and is like, huh, I'm going to push the deadlines. 00:33:02.737 --> 00:33:04.117 We're pushing the deadlines. 00:33:04.117 --> 00:33:06.737 We're changing how like everything works. 00:33:06.757 --> 00:33:12.377 They're giving people more money, holiday breaks and infinite like sick leave. 00:33:12.597 --> 00:33:14.677 We're going to make sure everyone unionizes. 00:33:15.537 --> 00:33:17.737 It's just like fully on that. 00:33:17.777 --> 00:33:21.517 We're going to like restructure the company so that everybody has a say. 00:33:21.637 --> 00:33:22.837 It's a co-op now. 00:33:25.017 --> 00:33:27.237 I love this version of A Christmas Carol. 00:33:27.257 --> 00:33:29.237 Thank you for building it with me. 00:33:29.497 --> 00:33:31.677 That's what the holidays are all about. 00:33:32.057 --> 00:33:34.877 Is the new rendition of A Christmas Carol out every year? 00:33:35.037 --> 00:33:35.917 Yes, exactly. 00:33:35.937 --> 00:33:37.237 That's exactly what they're all about. 00:33:37.897 --> 00:33:40.897 Clair, finish us off on this holiday season. 00:33:41.217 --> 00:33:46.297 So a little before last year, I really got re-in touch with my Jewish ancestry. 00:33:46.797 --> 00:33:52.197 So I've been really excited to celebrate Hanukkah again. 00:33:52.857 --> 00:33:57.337 Or Hanukkah or Shanukkah or however you wanna pronounce it. 00:33:57.457 --> 00:33:58.097 Unfortunately- 00:33:58.117 --> 00:33:59.777 I'm not gonna make a joke about that. 00:34:00.497 --> 00:34:01.277 Say it. 00:34:01.437 --> 00:34:02.017 Shanukkah? 00:34:03.757 --> 00:34:17.337 So one of my things, every evening in Hanukkah, you light the menorah and you have to like say or sing sort of a passage in Hebrew. 00:34:17.537 --> 00:34:17.917 Okay. 00:34:18.157 --> 00:34:26.797 And so my craving is to be able to fucking sing that in Hebrew fluently because my Hebrew sucks so badly. 00:34:27.257 --> 00:34:30.137 Are there ways to learn Hebrew easily? 00:34:30.137 --> 00:34:32.677 So like I tried learning it on Duolingo. 00:34:32.697 --> 00:34:36.657 Yeah, I assume there's a Duolingo Hebrew. 00:34:36.857 --> 00:34:38.437 There is Hebrew on Duolingo. 00:34:38.777 --> 00:34:41.457 The problem is I don't know the alphabet. 00:34:42.357 --> 00:34:43.137 Ah, right. 00:34:43.217 --> 00:34:44.817 There's a whole different alphabet. 00:34:44.837 --> 00:34:54.877 Yeah, and so like I've been told like, don't learn the words, just learn the song because it's a lot easier to sing in a different language than it is to speak a different language. 00:34:54.897 --> 00:34:55.177 Yeah. 00:34:55.337 --> 00:35:00.057 So I guess like I need like a vocal coach, but I need like a Jewish vocal coach. 00:35:00.897 --> 00:35:01.997 Help Brianna. 00:35:02.417 --> 00:35:03.817 I need a Jewish vocal coach. 00:35:03.837 --> 00:35:03.917 Okay. 00:35:03.937 --> 00:35:05.737 Where can I find a Jewish vocal coach? 00:35:05.757 --> 00:35:10.877 Well, there are some Jewish community centers in Vancouver. 00:35:10.897 --> 00:35:14.237 You might be able to find something there. 00:35:14.257 --> 00:35:17.337 Give me a joke, Brianna. 00:35:20.917 --> 00:35:25.817 We're going to find a vocal coach and then we're going to confirm them as Jewish. 00:35:25.817 --> 00:35:26.537 And there we go. 00:35:26.557 --> 00:35:26.777 Great. 00:35:26.937 --> 00:35:29.137 So what if I lip sync? 00:35:29.157 --> 00:35:32.197 So, you know, on like RuPaul or whatever. 00:35:33.497 --> 00:35:34.977 Yeah, I'm familiar with drag. 00:35:34.997 --> 00:35:36.297 They like lip sync to songs. 00:35:36.637 --> 00:35:38.557 So there's a lot of like lip syncing. 00:35:38.677 --> 00:35:40.957 So what if I just lip sync Hebrew? 00:35:41.877 --> 00:35:44.157 And like I lip sync lighting the menorah. 00:35:44.257 --> 00:35:45.577 So it's perfectly timed. 00:35:45.597 --> 00:35:47.137 And then I can work on my moves. 00:35:47.157 --> 00:35:48.737 Like then I can get a whole dance in there. 00:35:48.757 --> 00:35:51.337 Oh yeah, you could just like really vibe with it. 00:35:51.357 --> 00:35:53.477 You can like light it and then like- 00:35:53.497 --> 00:35:54.417 On the beat too. 00:35:54.437 --> 00:35:55.897 Yeah, light it on the beat. 00:35:56.837 --> 00:35:58.177 I need one with like good drums. 00:36:03.297 --> 00:36:06.557 Is it somehow heretical to lip sync? 00:36:06.617 --> 00:36:07.437 Or is that like- 00:36:07.457 --> 00:36:09.417 Probably, but like look at what Christmas is. 00:36:09.697 --> 00:36:10.837 Damn, real shit. 00:36:10.917 --> 00:36:11.977 Like I can be a little- 00:36:14.157 --> 00:36:15.057 Couldn't agree more. 00:36:15.357 --> 00:36:15.957 How's this? 00:36:16.077 --> 00:36:20.897 You can lip sync and then we'll dump someone else doing it. 00:36:20.917 --> 00:36:21.157 Great. 00:36:21.317 --> 00:36:23.277 We'll dump someone else and we'll dump it in. 00:36:23.337 --> 00:36:28.157 So it's like a post sort of just like, I don't even like, there isn't even music playing. 00:36:28.177 --> 00:36:29.917 I just add it in post. 00:36:30.117 --> 00:36:32.357 Yeah, it's digital Hanukkah. 00:36:33.577 --> 00:36:34.217 Donica. 00:36:34.737 --> 00:36:35.437 Donica. 00:36:36.017 --> 00:36:39.917 I'm sure there are vocal coaches out there who know Hebrew. 00:36:40.017 --> 00:36:41.197 I don't know that I know any. 00:36:42.697 --> 00:36:48.137 I mean, what are the easiest and best ways to learn a new language other than Duolingo? 00:36:48.157 --> 00:36:50.497 To be fully immersed in the language. 00:36:50.677 --> 00:36:54.697 You just have to get everyone around you to speak Hebrew all the time. 00:36:54.717 --> 00:36:57.937 I only have one friend who can speak Hebrew, I'm pretty sure. 00:36:58.117 --> 00:36:59.697 Well, the rest of us will just have to learn. 00:37:00.577 --> 00:37:03.457 We'll all, we'll, see, here's the way we do it. 00:37:03.477 --> 00:37:07.017 We'll learn Hebrew so that you can learn Hebrew. 00:37:07.037 --> 00:37:07.497 Oh, great. 00:37:07.517 --> 00:37:08.857 Wow, this is true allyship. 00:37:08.877 --> 00:37:10.417 Yeah, this is allyship. 00:37:10.437 --> 00:37:11.437 This is solidarity. 00:37:11.637 --> 00:37:12.997 How long is this gonna take? 00:37:13.157 --> 00:37:13.777 Like a month? 00:37:14.537 --> 00:37:15.177 A month? 00:37:15.197 --> 00:37:17.237 To learn a whole language? 00:37:17.557 --> 00:37:18.397 That's nothing. 00:37:18.417 --> 00:37:19.557 Oh, I haven't done it in a week. 00:37:22.837 --> 00:37:26.397 I know so many languages, like English, Middle English. 00:37:28.057 --> 00:37:30.877 Hebrew is basically the same as Middle English, I think. 00:37:31.877 --> 00:37:33.597 Yeah, they use like the same alphabet. 00:37:33.597 --> 00:37:35.737 Yeah, they basically use the same alphabet. 00:37:37.317 --> 00:37:38.837 I'm not super familiar with Hebrew. 00:37:38.917 --> 00:37:42.837 How does the alphabet differ from, is it just a completely different alphabet? 00:37:42.857 --> 00:37:45.697 It's just a completely, like I could show you, but like- 00:37:45.717 --> 00:37:47.337 Is it a different number of letters? 00:37:47.637 --> 00:37:47.997 Yeah. 00:37:48.157 --> 00:37:49.497 That sounds like a lot of work. 00:37:49.517 --> 00:37:56.037 If you consider just doing it, just like stare at the alphabet long enough until it absorbs into your brain. 00:37:56.897 --> 00:38:09.037 Alternatively, now I know, okay, we could just get a voice modulator that just switches up when you say words, it just automatically translates them to Hebrew. 00:38:09.417 --> 00:38:12.657 See, the thing is I need to know it in English then. 00:38:12.817 --> 00:38:15.057 Well, you don't have to learn a new alphabet that way though. 00:38:15.077 --> 00:38:18.437 That's true, what if maybe I just hire the choir? 00:38:18.637 --> 00:38:21.377 You know that queer choir that we- 00:38:21.437 --> 00:38:22.557 Do they know Hebrew? 00:38:22.577 --> 00:38:23.237 Probably. 00:38:23.257 --> 00:38:27.817 They're a choir, they know Hebrew, all choirs know Hebrew. 00:38:28.157 --> 00:38:32.837 All choirs know Latin, Hebrew, French, Middle English. 00:38:32.857 --> 00:38:35.957 Yeah, that's what, yeah, my mom's in a choir, she knows all those languages. 00:38:35.977 --> 00:38:38.017 You know Middle English choirs? 00:38:38.157 --> 00:38:43.517 Yeah, oh man, I would love to be in a Middle English choir, are you kidding me, that should be wild. 00:38:45.117 --> 00:38:50.997 One that I pull with, he's sure as a sword. 00:38:51.017 --> 00:38:53.897 This kind of sounds like a Latin choir. 00:38:53.917 --> 00:38:55.837 I mean Middle English is not that far from Latin. 00:38:56.477 --> 00:38:58.097 Hebrew is pretty far from Latin though. 00:38:58.337 --> 00:38:58.777 Yeah. 00:38:59.037 --> 00:39:03.897 Cause we know people who know Latin, but unfortunately that's not gonna really get us there. 00:39:04.097 --> 00:39:04.317 No. 00:39:04.337 --> 00:39:06.757 You know someone who knows Hebrew, can you simply? 00:39:06.757 --> 00:39:08.697 Just sort of like get them to do it. 00:39:08.937 --> 00:39:09.577 Just get them. 00:39:09.577 --> 00:39:12.777 One thing is I know lots of people who know the hymn. 00:39:13.637 --> 00:39:14.577 So simply. 00:39:14.677 --> 00:39:17.397 Just don't do it myself or just follow along. 00:39:17.417 --> 00:39:19.557 Yeah, follow along and just sort of like. 00:39:19.837 --> 00:39:22.097 One beat behind, just like a Skype call. 00:39:22.277 --> 00:39:22.617 Yeah. 00:39:23.017 --> 00:39:26.977 Just sing it without really knowing it exactly, but just sort of. 00:39:30.737 --> 00:39:32.757 It's like when you're, it's like when you're in. 00:39:32.817 --> 00:39:34.377 When you're learning a new song. 00:39:34.397 --> 00:39:34.757 Yeah. 00:39:34.797 --> 00:39:41.337 Or like when you're in band or choir in school and you don't really know where everyone is. 00:39:41.377 --> 00:39:46.357 And you're just like, where are we, where are we? 00:39:47.557 --> 00:39:48.797 Hanukkah, but offbeat. 00:39:48.937 --> 00:39:49.357 Yeah. 00:39:49.357 --> 00:39:49.797 Yeah. 00:39:49.937 --> 00:39:51.897 Also you just do a call and response. 00:39:52.277 --> 00:39:52.537 Oh, good. 00:39:52.557 --> 00:39:53.457 That's actually great. 00:39:53.477 --> 00:39:57.137 I think that's something that they do in religion sometimes, right? 00:39:57.137 --> 00:39:57.917 In religion. 00:39:58.377 --> 00:39:58.677 Yes. 00:39:58.697 --> 00:40:03.017 In religion, I say a thing and then I expect you to say the same thing after me. 00:40:03.197 --> 00:40:03.657 Yes. 00:40:03.677 --> 00:40:05.137 I think that's communication. 00:40:05.577 --> 00:40:07.377 I think that's imposing an idea on somebody. 00:40:07.677 --> 00:40:09.937 I say a thing and then you repeat it back to me. 00:40:10.137 --> 00:40:11.257 And then we both believe it. 00:40:11.957 --> 00:40:12.357 Amen. 00:40:14.077 --> 00:40:15.397 This episode is over. 00:40:15.757 --> 00:40:17.177 The episode is over. 00:40:17.377 --> 00:40:19.497 You can find us on social media. 00:40:19.777 --> 00:40:25.837 You can find us on social media at Salt Cravings on YouTube. 00:40:26.277 --> 00:40:26.597 No. 00:40:28.037 --> 00:40:32.817 At Salt Cravings on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. 00:40:32.837 --> 00:40:34.637 You can also check out our YouTube. 00:40:34.657 --> 00:40:35.477 We do have that. 00:40:38.537 --> 00:40:39.857 It is not for us at Salt Cravings. 00:40:39.877 --> 00:40:40.897 It is in the description though. 00:40:41.137 --> 00:40:44.477 You can email us your submissions. 00:40:44.677 --> 00:40:46.357 Submissions at saltcravings.com. 00:40:46.377 --> 00:40:48.137 Yeah, we would love to hear your cravings. 00:40:48.157 --> 00:40:51.197 Go rate us on iTunes or Stitcher or wherever you get your podcasts from. 00:40:51.917 --> 00:40:57.857 And if you think we're funny or you like us or you don't think we're funny, you should give us donations. 00:40:58.277 --> 00:40:59.317 You should give us donations. 00:40:59.337 --> 00:41:00.397 You can, yeah, you can give us a dollar. 00:41:00.417 --> 00:41:01.597 We'll sound better eventually. 00:41:01.617 --> 00:41:03.157 Yeah, you can give us a dollar. 00:41:03.557 --> 00:41:05.277 Like new microphones. 00:41:05.557 --> 00:41:06.977 Yep, we'll get new microphones. 00:41:07.377 --> 00:41:07.917 And you can- 00:41:07.937 --> 00:41:08.757 Holiday cheer. 00:41:08.777 --> 00:41:10.077 Holiday cheer. 00:41:10.217 --> 00:41:13.737 See, the thing about Hanukkah is you give a gift every day. 00:41:13.917 --> 00:41:14.357 Right. 00:41:14.877 --> 00:41:15.777 So it's worse. 00:41:18.977 --> 00:41:20.817 How is it worse? 00:41:21.017 --> 00:41:21.897 More gifts. 00:41:22.217 --> 00:41:22.557 Right. 00:41:22.577 --> 00:41:23.217 You gotta give. 00:41:24.457 --> 00:41:27.857 Honestly, sometimes I'm thankful Christmas got the capitalist treatment. 00:41:28.017 --> 00:41:28.437 Yeah. 00:41:28.457 --> 00:41:31.137 Can you imagine eight days of gift giving? 00:41:31.157 --> 00:41:32.217 It'd be a lot of days. 00:41:32.597 --> 00:41:33.717 It'd be a lot of days. 00:41:33.977 --> 00:41:37.637 We hope everyone has a great holiday, no matter what you're celebrating. 00:41:37.697 --> 00:41:38.337 L'chaim. 00:41:38.577 --> 00:41:39.257 L'chaim. 00:41:40.237 --> 00:41:40.637 Almost. 00:41:40.657 --> 00:41:41.217 L'chaim. 00:41:41.237 --> 00:41:42.217 L'chaim. 00:41:42.337 --> 00:41:42.937 L'chaim. 00:41:42.957 --> 00:41:43.897 Really get back there. 00:41:44.077 --> 00:41:44.757 L'chaim. 00:41:45.297 --> 00:41:45.737 Lower. 00:41:45.837 --> 00:41:46.497 L'chaim. 00:41:46.857 --> 00:41:47.397 Uh-oh. 00:41:48.957 --> 00:41:49.597 L'chaim. 00:41:49.617 --> 00:41:51.337 Say one, two, three.