WEBVTT 00:00:26.167 --> 00:00:28.767 Welcome to the Salt Cravings Bar and Grill. 00:00:28.787 --> 00:00:30.667 My name is Brianna, I'll be your server tonight. 00:00:31.007 --> 00:00:31.927 How are you doing? 00:00:32.527 --> 00:00:34.567 Oh, do you have a table for three? 00:00:35.367 --> 00:00:36.427 Oh, yes, of course. 00:00:36.447 --> 00:00:39.687 Let me just, yeah, we have something. 00:00:39.707 --> 00:00:41.087 Let me just show you this way. 00:00:44.067 --> 00:00:45.687 So this is the table here. 00:00:46.767 --> 00:00:48.047 What's on special tonight? 00:00:48.467 --> 00:00:49.987 The salty surprise. 00:00:52.147 --> 00:00:54.507 Okay, what's in the salty surprise? 00:00:54.527 --> 00:00:58.487 So the salty surprise is a steak that has been triple salted. 00:00:59.267 --> 00:00:59.507 Oh. 00:01:00.147 --> 00:01:02.347 And with a mystery spice as well. 00:01:02.707 --> 00:01:04.587 I'm not allowed to know what the mystery spice is? 00:01:04.607 --> 00:01:05.327 No, it's very strict. 00:01:05.367 --> 00:01:07.467 We're not allowed to tell you what the mystery spice is. 00:01:07.487 --> 00:01:09.447 Can you explain the flavor of it? 00:01:09.807 --> 00:01:13.687 Sure, it's sort of herby and spicy. 00:01:14.087 --> 00:01:14.907 Oh, okay. 00:01:14.907 --> 00:01:16.807 So it's sort of, it's balanced, but it's spicy. 00:01:17.287 --> 00:01:23.347 Spicy, mmm, dill, mmm, wheat, mmm. 00:01:24.787 --> 00:01:26.147 That's just sort of the way that we do things. 00:01:26.167 --> 00:01:29.427 The chef doesn't even tell us, so I can't, I don't know. 00:01:30.687 --> 00:01:31.447 But I, but- 00:01:31.447 --> 00:01:32.267 Who's the chef? 00:01:32.287 --> 00:01:33.707 Maybe I can go talk to the chef. 00:01:37.327 --> 00:01:39.167 He's extremely busy. 00:01:39.347 --> 00:01:41.367 You know, there's a lot of, as you can see, it's a full restaurant. 00:01:41.387 --> 00:01:43.207 You can hear all the restaurant sounds all around you. 00:01:44.107 --> 00:01:46.807 I just saw a flash of yellow with like a hat. 00:01:47.347 --> 00:01:48.847 Wait, is your chef SpongeBob? 00:01:51.107 --> 00:01:53.607 Do you have any other questions about the menu tonight? 00:01:53.847 --> 00:01:55.387 Yeah, but do you have a drink special? 00:01:55.667 --> 00:01:56.187 Oh, right. 00:01:56.207 --> 00:01:57.587 So the drinks, water. 00:01:57.727 --> 00:01:59.147 But do you have a drink special? 00:01:59.167 --> 00:02:00.687 Like something that's cheaper tonight? 00:02:00.807 --> 00:02:02.587 Oh yeah, we have special water. 00:02:04.427 --> 00:02:05.327 Why is it special? 00:02:06.027 --> 00:02:09.327 Well, it is quadruple carbonated. 00:02:09.727 --> 00:02:11.447 I hate carbonated water. 00:02:11.467 --> 00:02:12.287 I'm gonna have to pass. 00:02:12.467 --> 00:02:13.787 Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. 00:02:13.807 --> 00:02:18.727 Is there even any water left in the quadruple carbonated water? 00:02:18.747 --> 00:02:19.367 It is mostly both. 00:02:19.387 --> 00:02:20.307 It's mostly air. 00:02:20.447 --> 00:02:21.247 It is mostly air. 00:02:21.267 --> 00:02:22.447 It's just humid air. 00:02:22.787 --> 00:02:27.207 Well, it's a very difficult process, but yes, there is still some water in there. 00:02:27.227 --> 00:02:28.527 There's a couple of droplets at the bottom. 00:02:30.407 --> 00:02:32.187 I think I'll just go with milk. 00:02:32.367 --> 00:02:33.627 Great, awesome. 00:02:33.647 --> 00:02:34.667 Yeah, we definitely have milk. 00:02:35.447 --> 00:02:37.007 I'll just totally write that down. 00:02:37.167 --> 00:02:37.587 Milk. 00:02:38.167 --> 00:02:41.167 Awesome, I'll give you a couple of minutes with the menu. 00:02:41.547 --> 00:02:42.887 In the meantime, let's do a podcast. 00:02:43.487 --> 00:02:45.867 Is that a normal part of the dining experience? 00:02:45.887 --> 00:02:46.787 Yes, of course it is. 00:02:46.807 --> 00:02:48.927 The server stays with you and does the podcast. 00:02:49.167 --> 00:02:52.247 Great. 00:02:52.247 --> 00:02:52.787 What's your name? 00:02:53.107 --> 00:02:54.327 You can call me Clair. 00:02:54.347 --> 00:02:55.267 Excellent, it's so nice to meet you. 00:02:55.287 --> 00:02:59.667 I mean, it's not my real name, but you can call me Clair. 00:02:59.727 --> 00:03:00.507 What's your name? 00:03:00.527 --> 00:03:02.007 I can see it on your name tag. 00:03:02.027 --> 00:03:02.447 Brianna. 00:03:02.627 --> 00:03:06.707 That's not what it says on your name tag, but I'm not gonna like to say you're lying or anything. 00:03:06.867 --> 00:03:08.907 Let me just switch that for my new name tag. 00:03:09.107 --> 00:03:12.027 You just have two named tags on you at any given time. 00:03:12.047 --> 00:03:13.487 You never know what name you're gonna need to give. 00:03:19.087 --> 00:03:22.187 This seems like a very normal serving job. 00:03:22.207 --> 00:03:24.587 It's an extremely normal serving job. 00:03:24.847 --> 00:03:26.887 So what kind of podcast is this? 00:03:28.167 --> 00:03:29.587 I don't know anything about this. 00:03:29.767 --> 00:03:32.807 So the podcast is a comedy podcast, of course, where we talk about our- 00:03:32.827 --> 00:03:34.107 I'm not very funny, I'm sorry. 00:03:34.127 --> 00:03:35.127 Well, you will learn to be. 00:03:36.967 --> 00:03:39.367 That is one of the guarantees of the Salt Cravings dining experience. 00:03:39.387 --> 00:03:40.707 Did you not read this on our website? 00:03:40.887 --> 00:03:42.247 I don't have internet. 00:03:42.267 --> 00:03:43.807 This is why I came here. 00:03:43.827 --> 00:03:46.367 I thought this was an internet cafe. 00:03:46.387 --> 00:03:48.487 We are going to post this on the internet. 00:03:48.527 --> 00:03:49.987 I guess I consent to that. 00:03:50.247 --> 00:03:51.387 Great, that's nice to hear. 00:03:51.487 --> 00:03:53.387 So do I do anything on this podcast? 00:03:53.407 --> 00:03:53.847 Do I like- 00:03:53.847 --> 00:03:57.907 The way that we typically do the podcast, you will tell me what you're craving. 00:03:57.947 --> 00:03:59.827 I was craving that salty surprise. 00:03:59.947 --> 00:04:01.287 Let me just get that done for you. 00:04:01.307 --> 00:04:02.867 It should be here by the end of the podcast. 00:04:02.967 --> 00:04:05.067 So it's like a quick 10-minute podcast? 00:04:05.487 --> 00:04:05.727 No. 00:04:05.907 --> 00:04:06.287 Oh, okay. 00:04:07.047 --> 00:04:08.707 Clair, would you please tell me your first craving? 00:04:08.827 --> 00:04:09.807 Sure. 00:04:09.827 --> 00:04:12.667 I've been craving social gatherings with friends. 00:04:13.067 --> 00:04:13.667 Ah, I see. 00:04:13.707 --> 00:04:17.007 I know we're complete strangers, but you ever isolate yourself? 00:04:19.247 --> 00:04:20.327 Boy, do I. 00:04:23.507 --> 00:04:24.887 That's it, that's the craving. 00:04:24.907 --> 00:04:26.047 And that's the end of it, right? 00:04:26.067 --> 00:04:26.967 Now you tell- 00:04:27.127 --> 00:04:28.727 No, now we have to solve the craving. 00:04:28.927 --> 00:04:30.567 Okay, well, can we be friends? 00:04:30.787 --> 00:04:32.307 Yes, absolutely, we're friends. 00:04:32.327 --> 00:04:33.407 What time do you get off work? 00:04:33.887 --> 00:04:36.927 I, uh, hmm, I definitely get off work. 00:04:37.207 --> 00:04:37.727 Oh, okay. 00:04:37.787 --> 00:04:39.027 We can absolutely be friends. 00:04:39.407 --> 00:04:41.307 Technically, this is a social gathering with friends. 00:04:41.627 --> 00:04:45.127 So it looks like we've solved that craving, but I think we need to get a little bit more absurd. 00:04:45.147 --> 00:04:47.087 Well, it seems pretty easy to make friends. 00:04:47.107 --> 00:04:48.627 What if we just make more friends? 00:04:48.727 --> 00:04:49.467 Oh, I like this. 00:04:49.687 --> 00:04:50.887 What if we make more friends? 00:04:51.227 --> 00:04:54.607 Excellent, so we'll get some robot bodies. 00:04:54.707 --> 00:04:56.347 No, robots aren't friends. 00:04:56.667 --> 00:04:58.527 Don't tell anyone a robot is your friend. 00:04:58.547 --> 00:04:59.707 They won't like you anymore. 00:04:59.727 --> 00:05:00.247 Anti-robot. 00:05:02.887 --> 00:05:04.787 You'll just look, I'm just being a friend. 00:05:04.827 --> 00:05:07.547 If you tell people you're friends with robots, they'll stop being your friends. 00:05:07.567 --> 00:05:08.507 That's just how friends work. 00:05:08.527 --> 00:05:09.347 That is not how friends work. 00:05:09.367 --> 00:05:10.087 The law of friendship. 00:05:10.087 --> 00:05:11.207 That is not how friends work. 00:05:11.227 --> 00:05:12.347 I am friends with many robots. 00:05:12.607 --> 00:05:13.727 Robots don't have friends. 00:05:14.167 --> 00:05:15.967 Robots absolutely have friends. 00:05:16.287 --> 00:05:17.767 Listen, why not robots? 00:05:17.967 --> 00:05:19.107 What's the problem with robots? 00:05:19.407 --> 00:05:21.087 I want my friends to be meat-based. 00:05:21.567 --> 00:05:22.807 Okay, meat-based friends. 00:05:22.827 --> 00:05:23.887 So like a steak? 00:05:28.487 --> 00:05:32.787 Okay, so you don't want us to put googly eyes on steaks. 00:05:32.807 --> 00:05:36.227 Is there like a halfway between a steak and a robot friend? 00:05:36.687 --> 00:05:37.247 A cow. 00:05:38.567 --> 00:05:39.167 You know what? 00:05:39.187 --> 00:05:39.767 Fine. 00:05:40.667 --> 00:05:45.007 I want to go make friends with cows, but let's make some cow friends. 00:05:45.107 --> 00:05:47.787 Cows are good, and I would absolutely make some friends with cows. 00:05:47.887 --> 00:05:49.827 What about farm animals in general? 00:05:50.127 --> 00:05:52.867 What, okay, all right, all right, all right. 00:05:52.887 --> 00:05:55.907 What farm animal would you most want to have a social gathering with? 00:05:56.027 --> 00:05:56.427 Bunnies. 00:05:57.087 --> 00:05:58.927 Do you know bunnies hold no nutritional value? 00:05:59.227 --> 00:06:01.427 Are you, I, I, um, what? 00:06:02.467 --> 00:06:05.587 It doesn't hold any nutritional value whatsoever. 00:06:05.847 --> 00:06:07.127 So don't eat my bunny friends. 00:06:07.147 --> 00:06:08.347 So we won't eat your bunny friends. 00:06:08.447 --> 00:06:09.727 There's no reason to eat bunnies. 00:06:09.747 --> 00:06:12.327 They're cute, they're wonderful, we love them. 00:06:12.767 --> 00:06:15.567 So this is sort of like a friend farm then, right? 00:06:15.947 --> 00:06:19.827 Also, what would be your farm animal friend, top pick? 00:06:20.567 --> 00:06:22.327 You know, I like pigs quite a bit. 00:06:22.527 --> 00:06:24.127 Pigs are good, they're round. 00:06:24.327 --> 00:06:26.247 They're really round, and they're big boys. 00:06:26.267 --> 00:06:27.707 They're bigger than people expect. 00:06:28.107 --> 00:06:33.027 So we wake up and feed our friends every morning, and then like, what else do we do on the friend farm? 00:06:33.127 --> 00:06:34.207 We have to have a friendship circle. 00:06:34.227 --> 00:06:37.767 So do we each have our own barn, or like, where do we stay on the friend farm? 00:06:37.787 --> 00:06:38.527 We live in a- 00:06:38.547 --> 00:06:40.327 Wait, who feeds us if we're on the friend farm? 00:06:40.567 --> 00:06:45.507 Is it like another person wakes up and like just comes over and like throws some like- 00:06:45.527 --> 00:06:47.087 Why can't we not feed ourselves? 00:06:47.487 --> 00:06:50.007 Well, cause on the friend farm, friends get fed. 00:06:50.227 --> 00:06:50.807 You're right. 00:06:50.927 --> 00:06:53.407 So the pigs and the bunnies feed us. 00:06:54.547 --> 00:06:56.227 They also have their own barn. 00:06:56.867 --> 00:06:57.947 Is it like a mini barn? 00:06:58.127 --> 00:06:59.707 Is it just like a dog house? 00:06:59.707 --> 00:07:03.487 But for every animal, it's just like a little complex of dog houses. 00:07:03.747 --> 00:07:04.927 Yes, but they have a kitchen. 00:07:05.227 --> 00:07:07.747 Like in the dog house or is it like a communal kitchen? 00:07:07.767 --> 00:07:08.607 We have a communal kitchen. 00:07:08.687 --> 00:07:11.627 So there's a communal barn with a kitchen, but no beds. 00:07:11.647 --> 00:07:14.007 And then we just have like dog houses lined up. 00:07:14.087 --> 00:07:15.907 What's the color of your dog house? 00:07:17.027 --> 00:07:17.487 Pink. 00:07:17.767 --> 00:07:24.787 I guess it's just like a completely different meaning when you're like, I'm sleeping in the dog house tonight, but it's just like, I sleep in the dog house every night. 00:07:24.807 --> 00:07:25.527 That's my house. 00:07:25.827 --> 00:07:29.667 I don't know why we all need to have our own singular dog houses. 00:07:29.927 --> 00:07:37.087 Maybe sometimes we just want to hang out and sleep with our friends, but not sleep with, like, you know, cuddle with our friends. 00:07:38.267 --> 00:07:39.347 Would you not cuddle a bunny? 00:07:39.507 --> 00:07:42.647 I presume we would be cuddling all the time. 00:07:42.667 --> 00:07:43.927 This is a friend farm. 00:07:43.947 --> 00:07:44.847 This is the friend farm. 00:07:44.867 --> 00:07:46.767 There's lots of cuddling, lots of friendship. 00:07:46.787 --> 00:07:47.507 What do we eat? 00:07:47.527 --> 00:07:48.627 Is it just corn? 00:07:48.647 --> 00:07:49.527 We're not gonna eat meat. 00:07:51.347 --> 00:07:52.947 Maybe corn primarily. 00:07:52.967 --> 00:07:54.527 And I'm gonna keep it real with you. 00:07:54.547 --> 00:07:55.867 I'm fine with that. 00:07:56.207 --> 00:07:59.827 I would absolutely eat corn for most meals. 00:08:00.147 --> 00:08:01.147 You can make corn bread. 00:08:01.467 --> 00:08:02.607 You can make tortillas. 00:08:02.987 --> 00:08:03.907 Corn on a cob. 00:08:04.107 --> 00:08:07.107 That's the raw corn, but not raw. 00:08:07.127 --> 00:08:08.547 You obviously cook it. 00:08:08.567 --> 00:08:09.547 Eat the whole cob. 00:08:09.687 --> 00:08:10.747 Yeah, eat the whole cob. 00:08:10.927 --> 00:08:11.947 What else is corn? 00:08:12.127 --> 00:08:13.407 What else is made from corn? 00:08:13.687 --> 00:08:18.827 There's so much stuff that's made from corn and it's all gone from my brain, but I do know that I like corn. 00:08:19.427 --> 00:08:20.867 Welcome to the corner. 00:08:21.087 --> 00:08:22.387 I have a different question. 00:08:22.527 --> 00:08:23.687 We have all these friends. 00:08:23.907 --> 00:08:27.347 How do we make sure that we all have available schedules? 00:08:27.567 --> 00:08:39.427 Like, look, I know maybe like Edward the Pig seems free, but like, you know, you ask Edward to hang out and he goes, and it's like, no, no, I'm sorry. 00:08:39.447 --> 00:08:40.467 Maybe a different day. 00:08:40.487 --> 00:08:42.067 Well, we all have a shared Google calendar. 00:08:43.007 --> 00:08:45.427 Okay, just no privacy anymore? 00:08:45.447 --> 00:08:47.967 We're all gonna just share our Google calendar? 00:08:47.967 --> 00:08:49.487 Of course, that's what friendship is. 00:08:49.487 --> 00:08:50.187 So I'm just gonna like- 00:08:50.207 --> 00:08:52.267 You can't have privacy if you have friends. 00:08:52.647 --> 00:08:54.887 It's like how you can't be friends with robots, apparently. 00:08:55.227 --> 00:08:58.327 I'm just gonna put like in your calendar that we're gonna hang out. 00:08:58.527 --> 00:08:59.627 Yeah, you could do that. 00:08:59.807 --> 00:09:01.627 And then you should probably also tell me. 00:09:01.727 --> 00:09:03.347 Well, the notification will tell you. 00:09:03.367 --> 00:09:03.667 Right. 00:09:03.867 --> 00:09:05.467 I don't have to communicate with you. 00:09:05.487 --> 00:09:06.267 You're my friend. 00:09:06.587 --> 00:09:11.987 Right, and then we can hang out and we can make more Google calendar appointments without talking. 00:09:14.867 --> 00:09:17.047 Is it just pigs and bunnies on our friendship farm? 00:09:17.987 --> 00:09:18.787 Do we have anyone else? 00:09:18.807 --> 00:09:19.807 Do we have human friends? 00:09:20.287 --> 00:09:21.267 Presumably. 00:09:21.527 --> 00:09:24.347 Clair, I think the thing that we are describing is Stardew Valley. 00:09:25.407 --> 00:09:30.747 But Stardew Valley, you run away from all your friends because you presumably don't have any and then you go make some. 00:09:31.227 --> 00:09:32.287 Is that not what we're doing? 00:09:32.607 --> 00:09:36.307 Is Emily and Maru a pig and a bunny? 00:09:36.727 --> 00:09:37.127 No. 00:09:37.267 --> 00:09:38.187 But what if they were? 00:09:38.387 --> 00:09:39.247 But what if they were? 00:09:39.347 --> 00:09:43.747 What if this is like Stardew Valley and that there's a nearby town from which we can make lots of friends? 00:09:44.427 --> 00:09:47.647 Okay, so this is a little different than what I want, but like I'm into it. 00:09:47.667 --> 00:09:55.347 Moving to a new city, making a whole crew of friends, like, oh, I know nobody and nobody really likes me and who's that asshole? 00:09:55.367 --> 00:09:56.707 Oh, it's Shane, but like. 00:09:57.747 --> 00:10:06.727 One of the things that I do like about Stardew Valley is that it has all these festivals and holidays and like events that are like you go into the town and you hang out with people. 00:10:06.747 --> 00:10:09.967 We just need a new festival to gather all our friends. 00:10:10.027 --> 00:10:12.447 A festival that everyone is on board with. 00:10:12.927 --> 00:10:19.827 As holidays go right now, I don't think there is a holiday, which everyone I know is like, I like and celebrate this holiday. 00:10:20.187 --> 00:10:24.727 And so we simply need the new festival that everyone's gonna be on board with. 00:10:25.027 --> 00:10:25.847 Water day. 00:10:26.087 --> 00:10:27.027 We all need water. 00:10:27.047 --> 00:10:29.167 We come together and we drink water. 00:10:29.787 --> 00:10:34.887 Is there any advocacy for water access on this day? 00:10:35.127 --> 00:10:35.527 Yes. 00:10:35.847 --> 00:10:37.407 So there's water advocacy. 00:10:37.427 --> 00:10:38.687 So there's water advocacy. 00:10:38.707 --> 00:10:39.227 Love that. 00:10:39.247 --> 00:10:40.367 We all drink water. 00:10:40.547 --> 00:10:42.347 We all talk about how great water is. 00:10:42.487 --> 00:10:44.167 We think about water. 00:10:48.007 --> 00:10:49.007 We create water. 00:10:49.027 --> 00:10:50.467 We create water. 00:10:50.487 --> 00:10:55.587 I think maybe the water can just be an excuse to get together. 00:10:55.907 --> 00:10:56.287 I mean, I- 00:10:56.487 --> 00:10:58.167 We all sit in a circle and drink water. 00:10:58.667 --> 00:11:01.467 And we're like, wow, I love this festival. 00:11:04.507 --> 00:11:06.687 But that's basically what the festival is. 00:11:06.687 --> 00:11:07.447 It's water day. 00:11:07.887 --> 00:11:08.367 Yeah. 00:11:08.447 --> 00:11:13.427 It'll be a super stat in that no one is allowed to work anywhere. 00:11:13.787 --> 00:11:19.127 Is it like the thing where like you're not allowed to turn light bulbs on because it's considered work? 00:11:19.447 --> 00:11:23.267 The core of what we're doing is we want everyone to be here to hang out with us. 00:11:23.447 --> 00:11:25.067 So we can turn the light bulb on. 00:11:25.087 --> 00:11:26.187 We can turn the light bulb on. 00:11:26.447 --> 00:11:29.307 You just have to like be able to get there. 00:11:29.367 --> 00:11:30.807 And if you're not able, then- 00:11:31.027 --> 00:11:32.267 You're still celebrating. 00:11:32.387 --> 00:11:33.387 You're still celebrating. 00:11:33.547 --> 00:11:35.187 Because you can drink water anywhere. 00:11:35.207 --> 00:11:36.407 You can drink water anywhere. 00:11:36.607 --> 00:11:37.927 Some people don't drink water. 00:11:37.927 --> 00:11:39.127 I'm just realizing that. 00:11:39.927 --> 00:11:41.647 What do you mean some people don't drink water? 00:11:41.667 --> 00:11:44.807 They'll drink like soda, and they'll get water via soda. 00:11:44.827 --> 00:11:45.707 That's drinking water. 00:11:45.807 --> 00:11:46.247 All right. 00:11:46.367 --> 00:11:48.227 Some people don't like to drink water on its own. 00:11:48.267 --> 00:11:48.967 That's correct. 00:11:49.147 --> 00:11:52.887 But that means we can have a premium water selection. 00:11:53.147 --> 00:11:54.687 Oh, we now like flavored water. 00:11:54.707 --> 00:11:58.307 You know, some flavored waters, we can have some like spring water. 00:11:58.747 --> 00:11:59.447 Ocean water. 00:11:59.467 --> 00:12:00.307 Fancy water. 00:12:00.427 --> 00:12:03.427 Ocean water, salt water for all your salty needs. 00:12:03.687 --> 00:12:05.847 If I drink more water, will I have more friends? 00:12:06.747 --> 00:12:08.267 Yes, that's how Water Day works. 00:12:12.147 --> 00:12:13.667 Clair is now chugging water. 00:12:13.687 --> 00:12:16.407 Okay, you don't have to drink it all right now. 00:12:16.647 --> 00:12:18.207 You don't have to drink it all right now. 00:12:18.547 --> 00:12:19.307 You can drink some. 00:12:19.327 --> 00:12:20.407 Oh my God, you're chugging. 00:12:23.507 --> 00:12:25.527 Do you want to give me a drink? 00:12:26.107 --> 00:12:26.907 I would love to. 00:12:27.187 --> 00:12:30.747 So I have been on a baking spree. 00:12:30.987 --> 00:12:38.627 I decided, because I am the way that I am, that for belated holiday stuff, I was going to make baked things for people. 00:12:38.827 --> 00:12:44.147 There was cookies, brownies, a loaf in there, there was scones, that sort of thing. 00:12:44.527 --> 00:12:46.007 I had a really good time with it. 00:12:46.287 --> 00:12:49.167 The problem, baking creates a lot of dishes. 00:12:49.627 --> 00:12:55.187 So my craving is for a better solution for dishes when baking. 00:12:55.587 --> 00:12:57.807 And we're not just gonna be like industrial dishwasher? 00:12:59.567 --> 00:13:01.087 We could, listen, we could say... 00:13:01.087 --> 00:13:03.727 What about the portable industrial dishwasher? 00:13:03.747 --> 00:13:05.807 Okay, tell me about the portable industrial dishwasher. 00:13:05.827 --> 00:13:07.687 So have you ever used an industrial dishwasher? 00:13:07.707 --> 00:13:08.327 I never have, no. 00:13:08.327 --> 00:13:24.927 Okay, so basically for anyone who hasn't, if you line everything up in one rack, making sure that it can be hit, and then you sort of like pull, I don't know how to describe it other than like, it's a box and you just enclose the one layer and like it gets really, really hot. 00:13:24.987 --> 00:13:30.247 And then you like pull it back up after like 30 seconds or something and it's all clean. 00:13:30.427 --> 00:13:30.947 Wow. 00:13:31.247 --> 00:13:32.887 And, but it's like super hot. 00:13:32.907 --> 00:13:37.927 So you actually have to let it sit there for a second, unless you have kitchen hands and then you can grab it. 00:13:38.087 --> 00:13:38.907 But what if... 00:13:39.267 --> 00:13:41.807 Okay, how do we make that portable? 00:13:41.827 --> 00:13:43.427 So it's like one foot by one foot. 00:13:43.447 --> 00:13:45.827 So it's just like one dish at a time. 00:13:46.547 --> 00:13:47.767 That makes some sense. 00:13:48.147 --> 00:13:49.067 What are we calling it? 00:13:49.327 --> 00:13:50.427 It needs a catchy name. 00:13:50.447 --> 00:13:52.207 We're not gonna sell any of these without a catchy name. 00:13:52.227 --> 00:13:52.867 Industrish. 00:13:54.047 --> 00:13:54.387 What? 00:13:54.727 --> 00:13:55.527 Industrish. 00:13:56.307 --> 00:13:58.367 Is that just industrial dish? 00:13:58.467 --> 00:13:58.747 Yeah. 00:14:01.027 --> 00:14:02.787 But it's not an, okay. 00:14:02.807 --> 00:14:03.527 Industrish. 00:14:05.587 --> 00:14:09.607 Industrish Industries presents their first product, Industrish. 00:14:09.907 --> 00:14:11.167 Industrish. 00:14:11.187 --> 00:14:11.827 I like this. 00:14:11.947 --> 00:14:13.687 It almost sounds like you're naming it. 00:14:13.707 --> 00:14:15.727 Like it's gonna talk to you. 00:14:15.727 --> 00:14:17.567 Like it's like, Oh, it probably will. 00:14:17.607 --> 00:14:18.307 Okay, cool. 00:14:18.367 --> 00:14:19.827 I mean, it's gonna have an AI in it. 00:14:19.867 --> 00:14:20.447 We know that. 00:14:21.447 --> 00:14:22.507 Yeah, that's what it will do. 00:14:23.227 --> 00:14:24.567 I got hot in both. 00:14:25.527 --> 00:14:26.607 That's Toad's voice. 00:14:27.407 --> 00:14:28.507 The industrious. 00:14:28.747 --> 00:14:29.487 I like this. 00:14:29.687 --> 00:14:32.327 It does seem like a lot of effort to do one dish at a time. 00:14:32.347 --> 00:14:35.487 At that point, you may as well just be washing dishes by hand. 00:14:35.827 --> 00:14:37.307 I have a good addition to this. 00:14:37.567 --> 00:14:38.147 Uh-huh. 00:14:38.167 --> 00:14:39.147 A great addition to this. 00:14:39.347 --> 00:14:47.947 You don't have to like plate, you know, it's like putting the dish in there and then turning it on and then taking the dish out and having to wait until it's like, Oh, it's so boring. 00:14:48.127 --> 00:14:49.147 It was more interesting. 00:14:49.467 --> 00:14:50.187 Conveyor belt? 00:14:50.707 --> 00:14:56.787 Well, I was gonna suggest you simply drop the dish into the thing. 00:14:56.847 --> 00:14:59.387 It catches it, cleans it, and then comes out the bottom. 00:14:59.627 --> 00:15:01.507 And then you just do that with every dish. 00:15:01.807 --> 00:15:09.267 What if I have an alternate solution, which is the same thing, but you just sort of throw it on the floor, but then it like pops out on the counter. 00:15:09.287 --> 00:15:12.107 That's super good too. 00:15:12.287 --> 00:15:13.607 It's just the other way. 00:15:13.627 --> 00:15:15.707 How do we ensure the dishes don't break? 00:15:16.307 --> 00:15:19.807 Okay, so like the thing about this is like, you don't have a real floor anymore. 00:15:19.807 --> 00:15:24.447 And I think you can wear like special boots whenever you're in your kitchen now, just so it like doesn't eat you. 00:15:24.467 --> 00:15:25.407 Let's make them slippers. 00:15:25.427 --> 00:15:26.487 Can we make them slippers? 00:15:26.587 --> 00:15:27.527 Yeah, they're just like... 00:15:27.547 --> 00:15:29.827 This is exactly how I use my kitchen already. 00:15:29.847 --> 00:15:30.567 Cool, cool, cool. 00:15:30.587 --> 00:15:33.287 Yeah, they come in a variety of like different... 00:15:33.447 --> 00:15:38.887 Like you can get like skin tight socks as well that make you feel like you're not wearing... 00:15:39.067 --> 00:15:41.867 This is for the weirdos who want to go bare feet in their own home. 00:15:41.887 --> 00:15:43.427 Anyways, I'm not judging you. 00:15:43.447 --> 00:15:43.907 You're weird. 00:15:46.307 --> 00:15:47.767 A real feety kitchen. 00:15:47.967 --> 00:16:01.047 You need to make sure the floor doesn't swallow you because the reason the dishes don't break is because the floor is sort of like padded where like it'll like get stuck, but then it'll look like quicksand where it just sort of melts into the floor. 00:16:01.247 --> 00:16:03.587 What sort of sound does it make when it does this? 00:16:09.527 --> 00:16:12.807 Is there also an AI involved in this where it's like... 00:16:19.087 --> 00:16:23.887 This is good because it provides an incentive to cook and bake because if you don't, it might eat you. 00:16:24.507 --> 00:16:27.127 Well not if you're wearing the shoes. 00:16:27.347 --> 00:16:31.247 That doesn't present a problem though if someone wanders into your kitchen without the shoes. 00:16:32.327 --> 00:16:39.407 You're hosting water day and someone's like, oh, you're like, okay, let me just grab you one from the kitchen. 00:16:39.427 --> 00:16:40.647 They're like, no, no, no, I can grab it. 00:16:40.667 --> 00:16:42.207 And they walk in. 00:16:42.587 --> 00:16:45.947 And they just get pooped out of the counter sparkly clean. 00:16:45.967 --> 00:16:47.207 Are they wearing clothes still? 00:16:47.607 --> 00:16:47.967 No. 00:16:48.187 --> 00:16:50.167 Oh no, it eats your clothes. 00:16:51.127 --> 00:16:53.027 The clothes also get popped out. 00:16:53.047 --> 00:16:54.987 Oh, they're like folded and clean. 00:16:55.007 --> 00:16:58.107 Wow, you can just throw your laundry on the floor. 00:16:58.447 --> 00:17:00.827 Wow, this is the best, we've made the best device. 00:17:00.867 --> 00:17:03.527 We've made, this is like, this is, the thing that we've made. 00:17:03.547 --> 00:17:04.907 You don't even have to take a shower. 00:17:04.927 --> 00:17:06.667 You just sort of fall on your floor. 00:17:06.687 --> 00:17:16.367 The thing that we've did, the thing that we've made is the modern equivalent of what housewives thought new technology was going to be in the 50s. 00:17:16.787 --> 00:17:18.327 It was like what everyone advertised. 00:17:18.427 --> 00:17:23.847 Why this thing's going to be so incredible that you're going to be able to do whatever with it, you know? 00:17:23.867 --> 00:17:26.007 Yeah, you don't even have to care anymore. 00:17:26.027 --> 00:17:27.207 You don't have to care anymore. 00:17:27.227 --> 00:17:29.667 Your husband's clothes will get cleaned immediately. 00:17:30.107 --> 00:17:34.767 Now, this is what we're advertising, basically, is something that's like a magic product. 00:17:35.067 --> 00:17:35.787 It showers you. 00:17:35.807 --> 00:17:37.207 A magic, domestic product. 00:17:37.247 --> 00:17:40.907 It showers you, cleans and folds your laundry, and does your dishes. 00:17:41.207 --> 00:17:42.267 This is amazing. 00:17:42.287 --> 00:17:43.447 This is incredible. 00:17:43.507 --> 00:17:45.127 It's just the squeaky clean. 00:17:45.147 --> 00:17:46.607 That's what it's called, the squeaky clean. 00:17:47.687 --> 00:17:49.427 You just have to ignore the loud... 00:17:51.407 --> 00:17:58.087 And also, apparently, the moaning it does when you're trying to watch a movie at night and you haven't cooked in a while. 00:17:58.767 --> 00:18:01.627 Yeah, you try to turn it off and it's like, I'm sorry, Clair. 00:18:01.707 --> 00:18:03.047 I can't let you do that. 00:18:03.367 --> 00:18:06.287 I can only be turned on, not off. 00:18:07.687 --> 00:18:13.647 It's like one of those like, ooh, technology's scary, old things they show you in class. 00:18:13.967 --> 00:18:15.447 Do you remember these things? 00:18:15.807 --> 00:18:24.527 There's that one, the kids are like obsessed with that reality simulator, and then the parents are like, no, we should turn off the house and leave, and then they get eaten by tigers. 00:18:25.467 --> 00:18:25.727 What? 00:18:28.567 --> 00:18:30.427 I thought it was gonna get eaten by the house. 00:18:30.687 --> 00:18:36.047 Well, the house created a virtual reality with tigers in it, and then the tigers ate them. 00:18:36.187 --> 00:18:36.627 What? 00:18:37.207 --> 00:18:40.807 I know the Simpsons episode from season one, where like- 00:18:40.827 --> 00:18:42.227 That might be based on this. 00:18:42.287 --> 00:18:43.887 It's like an old short story. 00:18:45.007 --> 00:18:47.047 This was a thing that we were shown in school. 00:18:47.247 --> 00:18:48.347 I was very normal. 00:18:48.367 --> 00:18:53.607 I had a very normal experience in school, but we're making it real, and it's super convenient and great. 00:18:53.767 --> 00:18:55.767 And also a little annoying, apparently. 00:18:55.787 --> 00:18:57.927 It's not, yeah, it's not like threatening. 00:18:58.467 --> 00:18:59.787 It just moans at you. 00:18:59.967 --> 00:19:04.467 Anytime that you're gonna watch something, you just have to get some of your laundry and just throw it in there. 00:19:04.487 --> 00:19:07.347 Um, I had a bad addition. 00:19:07.487 --> 00:19:09.067 What if there's a bathroom version of this? 00:19:09.087 --> 00:19:14.047 Because it already said it towers you. 00:19:14.687 --> 00:19:15.527 But you know what else? 00:19:19.707 --> 00:19:26.447 I want poop, feed me poop, feed me poop. 00:19:34.098 --> 00:19:36.278 No, this is a bad, this is bad. 00:19:36.658 --> 00:19:38.618 You suggested it, this is your fault. 00:19:39.318 --> 00:19:40.438 This is your fault. 00:19:41.638 --> 00:19:42.738 This is all your fault. 00:19:43.398 --> 00:19:45.718 But I love this invention, the squeaky clean. 00:19:45.738 --> 00:19:47.018 I think it's the moany clean. 00:19:48.378 --> 00:19:48.738 Is it? 00:19:48.978 --> 00:19:51.298 One moan for clean, two moans for dirty. 00:19:52.238 --> 00:19:53.778 There is one other concern that I have. 00:19:54.118 --> 00:19:54.338 Oh. 00:19:54.818 --> 00:19:58.878 Which is, say you live in an apartment complex, where everyone has this. 00:20:00.518 --> 00:20:02.118 It's gonna be loud as fuck. 00:20:02.138 --> 00:20:04.818 You're gonna be like, going through your day, you're just gonna hear from upstairs. 00:20:06.038 --> 00:20:08.398 So wait, can you hear the upstairs one? 00:20:08.438 --> 00:20:09.238 Oh, it's loud. 00:20:13.098 --> 00:20:14.758 Remember, it's the floor, it's literally. 00:20:14.778 --> 00:20:17.298 It's out for walls and floors. 00:20:18.138 --> 00:20:18.538 Can you? 00:20:18.558 --> 00:20:19.598 You can, actually. 00:20:19.618 --> 00:20:20.238 With this guy? 00:20:20.498 --> 00:20:22.438 I mean, how loud are we talking? 00:20:27.038 --> 00:20:28.858 Can you give it like different accents? 00:20:29.138 --> 00:20:30.158 Can you make it British? 00:20:30.178 --> 00:20:30.318 Shhhhhh. 00:20:33.378 --> 00:20:36.978 Feed me, Clair, I want your clothes. 00:20:38.358 --> 00:20:40.078 I want to shower you, Clair. 00:20:40.278 --> 00:20:42.198 Oh, my cocaine, please feed me. 00:20:43.538 --> 00:20:46.098 Oh, my cocaine, I haven't eaten in five. 00:20:46.858 --> 00:20:48.118 Please feed me your body. 00:20:48.138 --> 00:20:50.858 In five, I've not eaten in five. 00:20:52.918 --> 00:20:54.218 I want to eat your body. 00:20:54.238 --> 00:20:56.658 I want to eat your dishes. 00:20:56.678 --> 00:20:58.358 I want to eat your dishes. 00:20:58.378 --> 00:21:01.558 Dishes, so all British people sound. 00:21:04.238 --> 00:21:06.438 Just like in Pokemon Sword and Shield. 00:21:06.978 --> 00:21:09.718 I think this is a perfect solution to my problem. 00:21:09.838 --> 00:21:10.378 Great. 00:21:10.998 --> 00:21:14.538 I would like to say it probably also encourages you while you're doing stuff in the kitchen. 00:21:14.558 --> 00:21:19.258 Is it nice encouragement, or is it like, do you always want this encouragement, or are you kind of tired? 00:21:19.278 --> 00:21:20.878 Is it like original encouragement? 00:21:21.038 --> 00:21:25.758 It does the best that it can, but sometimes you're like, yes, I fucking get it, okay? 00:21:25.958 --> 00:21:26.958 Make those cookies. 00:21:27.038 --> 00:21:28.658 I'm like, yes, I'm making them. 00:21:28.878 --> 00:21:29.838 Make those cookies good. 00:21:29.858 --> 00:21:31.478 Don't forget the baking soda. 00:21:31.738 --> 00:21:33.898 And you're like, put the baking soda in already. 00:21:34.258 --> 00:21:39.978 What if it would, what if you just poured all the food into the bowl, and it's just made cookies? 00:21:42.798 --> 00:21:44.998 And they were like really clean cookies. 00:21:45.278 --> 00:21:47.238 The thing that you suggested is a mixed success. 00:21:47.538 --> 00:21:52.078 It does do it, but you can't put it in the floor directly, you gotta put it in the oven. 00:21:52.278 --> 00:21:55.938 And when the oven opens up, it goes, like a mess. 00:21:56.838 --> 00:22:00.498 I thought the oven was just gonna disappear into the floor and then just pop back up. 00:22:01.238 --> 00:22:02.198 It can also do that. 00:22:02.218 --> 00:22:05.938 You'd be like, oven, please, oven arriving. 00:22:08.438 --> 00:22:10.538 God, the audio for this episode is awful. 00:22:10.798 --> 00:22:12.778 Oh my God, we're monsters. 00:22:13.478 --> 00:22:24.118 But then the oven appears and it opens up like, and then you have to put the food in the oven and then it, ding. 00:22:24.178 --> 00:22:25.978 This is our worst episode. 00:22:27.218 --> 00:22:27.978 Let's save it. 00:22:27.998 --> 00:22:30.938 And I know how we're gonna save it because we have a craving for a fan. 00:22:31.098 --> 00:22:31.558 So- 00:22:31.578 --> 00:22:35.418 Do you ever do an intro when we have craving for a fan? 00:22:35.998 --> 00:22:38.438 Craving, it's a craving. 00:22:38.658 --> 00:22:41.078 Fan craving, it's a craving. 00:22:43.078 --> 00:22:45.918 That's the intro that I've done every time. 00:22:45.938 --> 00:22:47.678 I forgot it was that bad. 00:22:48.498 --> 00:22:49.418 It's not great. 00:22:49.838 --> 00:22:51.318 You're the one who wanted it. 00:22:51.318 --> 00:22:52.398 I thought it was good. 00:22:52.418 --> 00:22:54.018 Craving, it's craving. 00:22:54.038 --> 00:22:54.878 Why is that? 00:22:54.898 --> 00:22:56.278 Don't just do it again. 00:22:56.298 --> 00:22:58.538 Craving, it's craving. 00:22:59.178 --> 00:23:02.358 Anyway, this one comes to us from Heather. 00:23:02.438 --> 00:23:03.198 Thank you, Heather. 00:23:03.998 --> 00:23:08.738 Heather says, I would like to submit the craving to be able to type well with long nails. 00:23:08.938 --> 00:23:19.058 This is a good craving and one that whenever I can manage to get my nails long or get my nails done for something, I do find it is a little difficult to type. 00:23:19.358 --> 00:23:22.658 I've never actually gotten like acrylics or gels or anything like that. 00:23:22.718 --> 00:23:23.518 I want them. 00:23:23.598 --> 00:23:24.098 They're good. 00:23:24.158 --> 00:23:24.738 They're a fun time. 00:23:24.758 --> 00:23:36.658 I never actually thought about, cause like I have a mechanical keyboard, which I feel like might be easier than a mechanical keyboard with nails, cause you can put like very little pressure on the keys. 00:23:36.838 --> 00:23:38.218 You just type in with your nails. 00:23:38.218 --> 00:23:42.678 The absolute worst thing is trying to type on a touchstone. 00:23:42.798 --> 00:23:43.518 A touchstone. 00:23:44.558 --> 00:23:45.218 A touch screen. 00:23:45.238 --> 00:23:48.838 So you have your little stone that you're trying to type on. 00:23:48.858 --> 00:23:50.358 Yeah, you're trying to type on the stone. 00:23:53.498 --> 00:23:57.578 You know when you're trying to inscribe stones, but you have your acrylics done. 00:23:59.078 --> 00:24:00.138 I know, I know. 00:24:00.158 --> 00:24:04.478 I can't make the 11th Amendment if I've just got my nails done. 00:24:04.798 --> 00:24:08.998 It's like, I may as well be trying to like carve on a slate, you know? 00:24:09.018 --> 00:24:10.978 I mean, what if it was like jelly? 00:24:10.998 --> 00:24:12.498 What if keyboards were jelly? 00:24:12.758 --> 00:24:15.278 I was wondering if you were going to say the nails or the keyboard. 00:24:17.238 --> 00:24:19.238 No, well, no, because you got your nails done. 00:24:19.258 --> 00:24:21.878 I mean, yeah, there's two, there's two solutions I see here. 00:24:21.898 --> 00:24:22.778 Soft nails? 00:24:23.118 --> 00:24:25.198 No, soft nails are interesting. 00:24:25.358 --> 00:24:26.438 Retractable nails. 00:24:26.538 --> 00:24:29.238 Nails that are like sort of Wolverine style. 00:24:29.258 --> 00:24:30.598 And they come out of your skin? 00:24:30.658 --> 00:24:33.158 They don't come out of your skin, but they do just sort of extend. 00:24:33.178 --> 00:24:33.978 They come out of your cuticles? 00:24:33.998 --> 00:24:36.198 Well, I guess they would have to come out of your, yeah, they come out of your cuticles. 00:24:37.338 --> 00:24:38.338 It doesn't hurt, it's fine. 00:24:39.098 --> 00:24:40.318 I've decided it doesn't hurt. 00:24:40.338 --> 00:24:47.198 The way that I'm going to make them, they just sort of, their long nails again, and then you're like. 00:24:47.218 --> 00:24:48.378 Okay, retractable is good. 00:24:48.638 --> 00:24:51.398 What if your keyboard was just slime? 00:24:51.418 --> 00:24:52.358 I like this. 00:24:52.458 --> 00:24:58.158 What if it was like, you know how you can sort of stick your fingers into slime and it makes the noises and whatnot? 00:24:58.698 --> 00:25:02.078 What if you did that and words appeared on a computer? 00:25:02.378 --> 00:25:03.178 I like that. 00:25:03.558 --> 00:25:04.918 How would it register? 00:25:04.958 --> 00:25:10.198 It's like a normal, it's like shaped like a keyboard, but like you stick your nail into it. 00:25:10.358 --> 00:25:12.018 So like you can type on it. 00:25:12.318 --> 00:25:13.798 Are you typing very slowly? 00:25:13.818 --> 00:25:19.518 Cause it's like, is that how slow it has to be? 00:25:20.078 --> 00:25:26.898 Maybe it's like water consistency where you can like move your fingers around in it and like you're typing like that. 00:25:26.918 --> 00:25:32.238 So you stick your finger in and it's like, you know, slide to text. 00:25:32.358 --> 00:25:35.558 It's like that, but like immerse your hand in jelly. 00:25:35.838 --> 00:25:39.758 I like this, what would work equally as well and has less slime involved. 00:25:39.878 --> 00:25:42.538 And listen, I don't wanna say that the slime is a bad thing. 00:25:42.658 --> 00:25:45.278 I'm in on the slime, but we could just do hologram. 00:25:45.598 --> 00:25:46.018 You know? 00:25:46.038 --> 00:25:46.698 Hologram nails? 00:25:46.858 --> 00:25:49.118 No, hologram keyboard. 00:25:49.838 --> 00:25:50.138 Oh. 00:25:50.158 --> 00:25:52.758 You know how in, so the Marvel movies are bad. 00:25:52.818 --> 00:25:59.358 But one of the coolest things about whole Iron Man shit is he has all of the holograms where he like moves shit with his fingers. 00:25:59.758 --> 00:26:03.818 And like, you know, he can move a hologram around and like expand and shit like that with you. 00:26:03.838 --> 00:26:06.078 So like that, but super not cool. 00:26:06.098 --> 00:26:07.938 And it's just a hologram keyboard. 00:26:08.078 --> 00:26:09.158 Yes, exactly. 00:26:09.618 --> 00:26:10.958 It's a hologram keyboard. 00:26:10.998 --> 00:26:13.298 And like, you could go through it and that's fine. 00:26:13.318 --> 00:26:14.858 Your nails can go through it and that's totally fine. 00:26:14.878 --> 00:26:16.218 But it doesn't go through your skin. 00:26:16.238 --> 00:26:20.638 So like, does keratin just like not go through it or gel? 00:26:20.658 --> 00:26:23.738 I guess fake nails aren't keratin. 00:26:23.978 --> 00:26:25.858 But even if they're real nails, right? 00:26:25.878 --> 00:26:28.678 I think it just goes, I think it just registers whatever skin is. 00:26:29.078 --> 00:26:29.898 What is skin? 00:26:30.138 --> 00:26:33.198 But then it's not accessible because some people don't have fingers. 00:26:33.218 --> 00:26:33.958 Don't have skin? 00:26:34.198 --> 00:26:35.778 Like that are like prosthetic and shit. 00:26:35.818 --> 00:26:36.958 True, true. 00:26:36.978 --> 00:26:40.018 So it just has to be, it just registers. 00:26:40.038 --> 00:26:40.738 Oh, skin glove. 00:26:40.818 --> 00:26:41.438 Skin glove. 00:26:41.478 --> 00:26:42.518 There we go, we nailed it. 00:26:42.538 --> 00:26:43.298 We nailed it, everyone. 00:26:43.458 --> 00:26:46.218 You just need a skin glove if you don't have skin on your. 00:26:46.458 --> 00:26:55.218 Oh, and that's perfect too, because then you can just put, if you have nails, you put the skin glove over your hand and it's just like typing with a bigger hand. 00:26:55.618 --> 00:27:02.278 Yeah, just get the sized up hand, Mickey Mouse looking motherfucker out here with the big skin gloves. 00:27:02.998 --> 00:27:05.278 Introducing prosthetic yaoi hands. 00:27:07.018 --> 00:27:10.118 The solution to your nail problems is yaoi hands. 00:27:10.138 --> 00:27:11.618 Oh, we didn't, we arrived at it. 00:27:11.638 --> 00:27:14.458 It took us, we were roundabout, but it's prosthetic yaoi hands. 00:27:14.478 --> 00:27:17.718 I still think we can tuck the slime away for a future craving. 00:27:17.718 --> 00:27:18.758 Yeah, I mean, maybe- 00:27:18.778 --> 00:27:20.758 Listen, we bottled the slime already. 00:27:20.778 --> 00:27:22.058 We may as well use it for something. 00:27:24.458 --> 00:27:27.098 If anyone has suggestions for what we could do with the slime, let us know. 00:27:27.318 --> 00:27:28.638 We have so much slime now. 00:27:28.838 --> 00:27:29.778 Yeah, we have a lot of slime. 00:27:29.798 --> 00:27:32.318 We were planning to mass produce these keyboards, and it's just too old. 00:27:32.498 --> 00:27:33.598 It's all right, now we have skin. 00:27:33.838 --> 00:27:35.238 Skin gloves! 00:27:35.238 --> 00:27:35.818 Skloves. 00:27:36.158 --> 00:27:36.918 Do you have a craving? 00:27:37.138 --> 00:27:37.718 Skloves. 00:27:37.958 --> 00:27:42.298 I won't, I just wanna, I'm just gonna be craving skloves for the rest of this episode. 00:27:42.418 --> 00:27:42.838 Fair. 00:27:43.638 --> 00:27:45.798 I've been really craving in sweet laundry. 00:27:46.238 --> 00:27:48.518 Well, I have some great news for you. 00:27:48.538 --> 00:27:49.938 Steal the laundry machine? 00:27:49.958 --> 00:27:57.198 No, I have great news for you, which is we already solved this craving where you put your laundry in the floor and it cleans it. 00:27:57.218 --> 00:27:58.998 We did, oh no. 00:27:59.298 --> 00:28:05.318 But say that you don't have the permits to install the squeaky clean. 00:28:05.338 --> 00:28:08.098 If I can't just rip out all of the floors in my apartment. 00:28:08.118 --> 00:28:09.638 The floors install squeaky clean. 00:28:09.718 --> 00:28:11.258 Like, landlord should let you do that. 00:28:11.278 --> 00:28:12.858 That should just be like freebie. 00:28:12.938 --> 00:28:16.938 But if you can't, let's talk about in sweet laundry. 00:28:16.978 --> 00:28:19.398 You have laundry in the building, just not in your suite. 00:28:19.398 --> 00:28:25.178 Yeah, it costs like very specifically two loonies for both a wash and then two loonies for a dry. 00:28:25.258 --> 00:28:25.538 Yeah. 00:28:25.838 --> 00:28:27.698 So I need loonies at all time. 00:28:27.938 --> 00:28:30.358 And that's really the only thing that sucks. 00:28:30.378 --> 00:28:33.598 If I could pay with a card, I wouldn't care as much. 00:28:33.678 --> 00:28:35.678 Well, maybe it's just loonie collecting. 00:28:35.698 --> 00:28:36.318 Well, what if? 00:28:36.518 --> 00:28:38.398 Maybe I need like a loonie finder. 00:28:38.398 --> 00:28:39.418 I have a better idea. 00:28:40.138 --> 00:28:48.478 I'm just actually about to recommend a thing that people do with laundry machines, which is trick it into thinking that it's taken the money. 00:28:48.498 --> 00:28:50.598 Oh, the like, the coin finger. 00:28:50.838 --> 00:28:53.318 The coin finger or like, yeah, on a string, I think. 00:28:53.338 --> 00:28:54.538 Yeah, on a string. 00:28:54.818 --> 00:28:55.718 I'm gonna try that. 00:28:55.758 --> 00:28:59.598 But the actual thing that I was gonna suggest, just a teleporting coin. 00:29:00.178 --> 00:29:00.418 Oh. 00:29:00.778 --> 00:29:02.098 So you put the loonies in. 00:29:02.158 --> 00:29:03.498 Like Percy Jackson? 00:29:03.698 --> 00:29:04.098 Yes. 00:29:04.598 --> 00:29:06.698 Or I guess not Percy Jackson. 00:29:06.718 --> 00:29:07.598 It is Percy Jackson. 00:29:07.618 --> 00:29:08.498 No, what's his name? 00:29:08.518 --> 00:29:09.818 It's not Percy Jackson. 00:29:09.998 --> 00:29:10.878 It's Jason. 00:29:11.218 --> 00:29:12.138 Jason has the- 00:29:12.158 --> 00:29:12.898 Jason has the coin. 00:29:12.918 --> 00:29:13.698 Right, Jason has the coin. 00:29:13.718 --> 00:29:17.338 So what you do, oh man, I hadn't considered how useful that would be. 00:29:17.698 --> 00:29:18.398 Oh damn. 00:29:18.598 --> 00:29:20.918 Not only like, does it teleport back to you. 00:29:20.938 --> 00:29:24.378 So like Jason's in Heroes of Olympus was a teen fiction written by- 00:29:25.138 --> 00:29:26.838 The author of the Percy Jackson series. 00:29:26.858 --> 00:29:30.818 Jason has like a coin that if you flip it on one side, it's a sword and the other side is a spear. 00:29:31.018 --> 00:29:33.758 Anyways, what if you flipped it and like one side teleported back to you? 00:29:34.298 --> 00:29:35.478 That's so fucking sick. 00:29:35.498 --> 00:29:36.298 It's such a good- 00:29:36.878 --> 00:29:37.538 It's so good. 00:29:37.778 --> 00:29:42.838 What if like it teleported back to you, but also like if you flipped it, it could turn into like laundry detergent. 00:29:42.858 --> 00:29:46.178 And then on the other side, it turned into like laundry sheet. 00:29:46.538 --> 00:29:47.058 Love it. 00:29:47.078 --> 00:29:48.178 This is the laundry coin. 00:29:48.418 --> 00:29:48.858 Love it. 00:29:49.038 --> 00:29:51.438 Is there like a clicky thing that like, what do I get? 00:29:51.458 --> 00:29:52.038 Yeah, it clicks. 00:29:53.178 --> 00:29:55.578 Like, but how do I activate the teleportation? 00:29:55.598 --> 00:29:56.578 How do I make sure that- 00:29:56.598 --> 00:29:56.798 You snap. 00:29:57.118 --> 00:29:57.678 But okay. 00:29:57.698 --> 00:30:03.658 But what if I'm like at like a concert or I go to poetry and I'm like, oh, that's some like really good poetry. 00:30:03.678 --> 00:30:04.378 And I like snap. 00:30:04.398 --> 00:30:06.318 And then suddenly I have my laundry coin on me. 00:30:06.798 --> 00:30:07.598 What are you gonna do? 00:30:07.818 --> 00:30:08.378 Lose it? 00:30:08.718 --> 00:30:09.298 Maybe. 00:30:09.318 --> 00:30:12.118 You can teleport it back to you. 00:30:12.458 --> 00:30:16.138 Wait, so, but what if somebody, like, what if I, let's say I lose it, right? 00:30:16.158 --> 00:30:16.898 Cause honestly- 00:30:16.918 --> 00:30:17.818 It's soul bonded. 00:30:18.358 --> 00:30:18.918 Okay, great. 00:30:18.938 --> 00:30:20.538 It's soul bonded to you. 00:30:22.158 --> 00:30:23.318 The landlord, like, finds it. 00:30:25.578 --> 00:30:29.418 Like, it's soul bonded to you cause you're a demigod, Clair, in this scenario. 00:30:29.478 --> 00:30:31.158 And by this scenario, I mean real. 00:30:31.758 --> 00:30:34.398 Who do you think, okay, this is always a fun thing to do. 00:30:34.418 --> 00:30:36.258 Who's my godly parent? 00:30:36.278 --> 00:30:37.238 Who's your godly parent? 00:30:37.258 --> 00:30:38.638 That's a question I wanna know. 00:30:38.858 --> 00:30:39.938 Roman or Greek? 00:30:39.958 --> 00:30:43.018 If we're going off of the Heroes of Olympus franchise. 00:30:43.698 --> 00:30:48.738 I feel like mine would distinctly be Greek because of just, like, that was the one that really got me. 00:30:48.758 --> 00:30:50.258 I still have not finished Heroes of Olympus. 00:30:51.118 --> 00:30:58.738 I don't know enough history, but I also haven't finished Heroes of Olympus, and I was obsessed with Greek mythology as a child, so I'm gonna go with Greek. 00:30:58.958 --> 00:31:00.018 Which one fits for you? 00:31:00.778 --> 00:31:06.438 But it's not realistic because I've always wanted my godly parent to be Artemis, but Artemis doesn't have children. 00:31:06.498 --> 00:31:06.918 I know. 00:31:07.098 --> 00:31:10.778 You can still be part of Artemis' crew, but that doesn't determine your godly parent. 00:31:10.798 --> 00:31:21.798 My favorite thing about reading Percy Jackson was always daydreaming about being part of Artemis' hunters, which was a big trans mood because only women could join. 00:31:22.278 --> 00:31:26.758 My big trans mood was I just wanted to be Annabeth. 00:31:26.918 --> 00:31:28.258 I just wanted to be Annabeth. 00:31:28.578 --> 00:31:30.858 My answer when I was a child was definitely Athena. 00:31:30.878 --> 00:31:32.918 It was definitely my godly parent is Athena. 00:31:32.938 --> 00:31:35.918 I don't know if that's accurate at this point. 00:31:36.558 --> 00:31:38.298 I mean, knowing who you are. 00:31:38.698 --> 00:31:40.298 You are like the bookworm. 00:31:40.778 --> 00:31:42.898 I am, I am that vibe. 00:31:42.918 --> 00:31:44.258 You are the Athena child. 00:31:44.378 --> 00:31:44.798 Yeah. 00:31:44.958 --> 00:31:48.718 I think my godly parent is Hephaestus, if I'm being real. 00:31:48.738 --> 00:31:49.778 Oh, that's interesting. 00:31:49.798 --> 00:31:50.558 And that makes sense. 00:31:50.958 --> 00:31:53.318 Yeah, unfortunately, I don't like Hephaestus. 00:31:53.838 --> 00:31:55.878 Okay, but Hephaestus' children are cool. 00:31:55.958 --> 00:31:59.898 I was gonna be like not a lot of Hephaestus' children like Hephaestus, so like. 00:32:00.038 --> 00:32:01.278 Yeah, that seems about right. 00:32:01.738 --> 00:32:03.078 Is it, is Leo his kid? 00:32:03.098 --> 00:32:04.538 Leo is the child of Hephaestus. 00:32:05.778 --> 00:32:07.238 Leo was rad. 00:32:07.298 --> 00:32:12.178 Anyway, the other thing about having in sweet laundry is that it's a lot more convenient to just be able to just like. 00:32:12.558 --> 00:32:17.618 Like one of the things with moving from having it like when I was living with you, right, and having to go down. 00:32:18.438 --> 00:32:19.518 Yeah, you have to go do it. 00:32:19.538 --> 00:32:21.918 You can't just let it sit there for like an extra 10 minutes. 00:32:21.938 --> 00:32:25.418 Yeah, now I have laundry like literally right outside my door. 00:32:25.838 --> 00:32:31.578 So, we simply need to find a way to get you some laundry machines into your apartment. 00:32:31.618 --> 00:32:33.938 What if I just stole the laundry machines? 00:32:33.958 --> 00:32:35.798 I would still have to pay for them. 00:32:35.818 --> 00:32:37.578 What if we build laundry machines? 00:32:37.818 --> 00:32:38.118 What? 00:32:38.298 --> 00:32:39.298 What if we build them? 00:32:39.638 --> 00:32:44.158 We could have built them to look like anything, but we make them look like laundry machines. 00:32:47.138 --> 00:32:52.058 So, I want a divine laundry machine. 00:32:52.178 --> 00:32:53.578 The divine laundry. 00:32:54.238 --> 00:32:56.798 I launder the divine. 00:32:56.818 --> 00:33:01.078 God, this is such a niche show. 00:33:01.098 --> 00:33:01.458 I know. 00:33:01.478 --> 00:33:02.838 We need to get off. 00:33:02.838 --> 00:33:06.058 We need to stop referencing Friends at the Table in every podcast. 00:33:06.618 --> 00:33:09.018 But we could have some AI laundry machines. 00:33:11.218 --> 00:33:13.058 No, I don't want to talk to my laundry. 00:33:13.098 --> 00:33:13.618 Why not? 00:33:13.638 --> 00:33:19.638 That's my least favorite part of laundry when I'm doing laundry and someone is there and I have to try to talk to them. 00:33:19.658 --> 00:33:21.698 I don't want anyone to talk to me while I'm doing laundry. 00:33:21.718 --> 00:33:25.298 Okay, so the laundry machine doesn't talk, but it does know. 00:33:25.318 --> 00:33:27.398 It knows. 00:33:27.898 --> 00:33:28.438 It knows. 00:33:28.618 --> 00:33:31.358 And you feel like it's judging you sometimes. 00:33:31.478 --> 00:33:34.038 But it's been like a month since you did laundry. 00:33:34.058 --> 00:33:34.438 Really? 00:33:34.458 --> 00:33:37.698 It doesn't say that, but you kinda get that vibe. 00:33:37.698 --> 00:33:38.538 It's just sort of like... 00:33:39.018 --> 00:33:40.258 It doesn't have eyes. 00:33:42.038 --> 00:33:44.118 Yes, it has eyes and eyebrows. 00:33:44.138 --> 00:33:46.798 No, no, it doesn't have eyes, only eyebrows. 00:33:46.818 --> 00:33:47.978 Yes, it's perfect. 00:33:47.998 --> 00:33:48.818 It has eyebrows. 00:33:48.838 --> 00:33:49.358 And it's just like... 00:33:49.838 --> 00:33:51.198 One of them just raises. 00:33:51.218 --> 00:33:57.018 Yeah, sometimes you like put in underwear and the eyebrows like go up and like, oh no, surprise. 00:33:57.838 --> 00:34:03.738 That's an exceptionally salty snack right there. 00:34:05.918 --> 00:34:07.998 We'll just make them with like a 3D printer, right? 00:34:08.078 --> 00:34:10.038 We can just 3D print some laundry machines, right? 00:34:10.038 --> 00:34:10.618 That's normal. 00:34:10.678 --> 00:34:12.198 You can 3D print anything. 00:34:12.218 --> 00:34:13.258 You can 3D print anything. 00:34:13.418 --> 00:34:16.398 Or is this more like a build a PC type deal? 00:34:16.938 --> 00:34:18.418 What do we really need? 00:34:18.438 --> 00:34:19.698 We need like a colander. 00:34:19.718 --> 00:34:21.618 We need like maybe a spiral. 00:34:21.678 --> 00:34:23.718 I totally know how laundry machines work. 00:34:23.798 --> 00:34:26.638 You need a place for the soap, which could be just in the laundry. 00:34:26.658 --> 00:34:27.098 Right, right, right. 00:34:27.118 --> 00:34:27.978 That's just a bucket. 00:34:28.138 --> 00:34:31.038 And so like, you know what you strain like pasta out of? 00:34:31.058 --> 00:34:33.058 That's like where you put the clothes, right? 00:34:33.418 --> 00:34:34.738 But that's like the same deal. 00:34:34.758 --> 00:34:35.478 It has holes in it. 00:34:35.498 --> 00:34:35.918 It's round. 00:34:35.938 --> 00:34:37.038 We need some tubes. 00:34:37.398 --> 00:34:38.958 Some tubes, straws. 00:34:38.978 --> 00:34:39.358 Yeah, straws. 00:34:39.378 --> 00:34:40.218 I got some straws. 00:34:40.238 --> 00:34:40.658 For water. 00:34:40.918 --> 00:34:41.278 Yeah. 00:34:41.418 --> 00:34:42.398 It needs to rattle. 00:34:42.418 --> 00:34:43.838 That's crucial to laundry machines. 00:34:43.858 --> 00:34:44.238 I know that. 00:34:44.258 --> 00:34:44.838 Cat toys. 00:34:44.858 --> 00:34:45.738 I got cat toys. 00:34:45.758 --> 00:34:46.438 Oh, perfect. 00:34:47.318 --> 00:34:47.658 Buttons? 00:34:47.678 --> 00:34:49.518 And then just a box around it. 00:34:49.538 --> 00:34:51.598 And then we need some dials. 00:34:51.978 --> 00:34:53.678 I don't know what they do, but we need them. 00:34:54.138 --> 00:34:55.618 Oh, I could get a rotary phone. 00:34:56.038 --> 00:34:57.278 Oh, perfect. 00:34:57.298 --> 00:34:58.498 Yeah, take the dials off of that. 00:34:58.718 --> 00:34:59.998 I've seen like a laundry machine in me. 00:35:00.018 --> 00:35:00.798 Yeah, I don't. 00:35:00.898 --> 00:35:02.358 Yeah, I mean, I'm not an engineer. 00:35:04.458 --> 00:35:08.978 If we just like tape together a bunch of hair dryers, is that enough? 00:35:09.518 --> 00:35:12.938 What if we tape them in a circle and they're just all blowing at once? 00:35:12.958 --> 00:35:14.658 That seems like it would work. 00:35:14.878 --> 00:35:16.578 What if we convert an oven? 00:35:16.918 --> 00:35:21.218 Hey, what if we just get a new oven and then we convert the old oven into like a dryer? 00:35:21.238 --> 00:35:21.618 Perfect. 00:35:21.638 --> 00:35:22.078 Perfect. 00:35:24.698 --> 00:35:28.038 How is a dryer different from an oven? 00:35:28.098 --> 00:35:28.738 Less heat. 00:35:28.958 --> 00:35:31.078 Then you can just put the oven on low. 00:35:31.278 --> 00:35:33.678 That's how dryers work, as far as I'm aware. 00:35:34.838 --> 00:35:36.018 I think they also rattle. 00:35:38.558 --> 00:35:41.478 I was just throwing more cat toys, and it's fine. 00:35:41.878 --> 00:35:42.958 We built laundry machines. 00:35:43.338 --> 00:35:45.058 And oh, the eyebrows are important. 00:35:45.498 --> 00:35:46.618 Oh, well, I'll shave mine off. 00:35:51.418 --> 00:35:54.758 That's how I know when it's judging me, because it has an essence of myself. 00:35:56.458 --> 00:35:57.958 It's you judging yourself. 00:35:58.318 --> 00:36:02.138 You were the laundry divine all along. 00:36:03.998 --> 00:36:06.818 Excuse my like divergence back to Friends at the Table. 00:36:07.238 --> 00:36:08.458 What does the Laundry's... 00:36:08.478 --> 00:36:12.518 If you don't care about Friends at the Table, just like skip forward like a couple of minutes. 00:36:12.538 --> 00:36:15.058 What is the Laundry's pilot's name? 00:36:15.378 --> 00:36:16.838 Your name is... 00:36:16.858 --> 00:36:18.898 I'm just looking randomly through my list of names. 00:36:19.418 --> 00:36:20.258 Tomato Bisque. 00:36:21.398 --> 00:36:24.558 So my name is Tomato Bisque, and my excerpt name is... 00:36:26.158 --> 00:36:34.098 I spilled Tomato Bisque on my shirt, and now I must clean it, for otherwise my enemies will not take me seriously. 00:36:35.298 --> 00:36:38.298 And this is why I am the excerpt of Fonder. 00:36:38.318 --> 00:36:40.958 They mark scars of light in Tomato Bisque. 00:36:44.558 --> 00:36:45.358 Oh, okay. 00:36:45.518 --> 00:36:46.718 What's your craving? 00:36:46.778 --> 00:36:48.118 Well, my other craving. 00:36:48.478 --> 00:36:50.718 I would like to know what I need to know about adulting. 00:36:50.958 --> 00:36:53.518 I simply want to know things. 00:36:54.078 --> 00:36:59.038 I want to know what I need to know, because there's a lot of very confusing things in the world. 00:36:59.058 --> 00:37:00.638 For example, taxes. 00:37:00.838 --> 00:37:01.798 How do those work? 00:37:01.818 --> 00:37:03.598 What do I need to know about taxes? 00:37:04.158 --> 00:37:05.718 What documents should I be saving? 00:37:05.938 --> 00:37:06.378 It's impossible. 00:37:08.418 --> 00:37:26.438 But my genuine thing is like, it feels very often like as I've started living on my own, which I have been living on my own for some time now, I find out more and more about things that I probably should have known sooner because I've been doing things like a way that has caused problems for me, but I didn't realize it was causing problems for me. 00:37:26.698 --> 00:37:31.098 You know when you're like several months into and you're like, oh, I could have just been doing this this way. 00:37:31.118 --> 00:37:32.118 This would have been easier. 00:37:32.138 --> 00:37:34.778 I've been having that a whole lot of times. 00:37:35.018 --> 00:37:44.018 I mean, if it makes you feel better, whenever I used to wash my hands, I'd stick both my hands under the water first before getting soap, and then I would drip water under the soap. 00:37:44.098 --> 00:37:44.798 So like... 00:37:45.058 --> 00:37:46.918 Oh, wait, that's smart. 00:37:47.018 --> 00:37:48.318 This is what I mean. 00:37:49.278 --> 00:37:54.038 I do that where I get water on my hands first, and I never thought to just soap them up first. 00:37:54.178 --> 00:37:59.398 I mean, that makes a lot of sense, but I didn't know that I would even be a thing that would make my life better. 00:37:59.898 --> 00:38:03.838 And there's lots of things that are like this for me where I'm like, oh, I could have just been doing this. 00:38:03.938 --> 00:38:04.378 Yeah. 00:38:04.398 --> 00:38:09.758 That's my main thing at this point is like, there's so much that I just don't know that I don't know. 00:38:10.218 --> 00:38:10.618 You know? 00:38:10.898 --> 00:38:14.118 I don't know that I didn't know that there's a better way to wash your hands. 00:38:14.458 --> 00:38:15.978 How do I find this information? 00:38:15.998 --> 00:38:19.498 Because I can Google a thing if I know that I don't know it. 00:38:19.578 --> 00:38:23.978 I can Google, okay, what do the laundry things mean, the like little symbols. 00:38:24.238 --> 00:38:28.918 But if I don't know that there's a better way to wash my hands, I'm not going to Google what's the best way to wash your hands. 00:38:29.198 --> 00:38:34.558 This is genuinely the way that my brain works very often is like, well, this thing is annoying. 00:38:34.558 --> 00:38:36.778 I guess that's just a thing I have to live with. 00:38:36.778 --> 00:38:38.798 There's no possible solution to this thing. 00:38:38.838 --> 00:38:42.458 Maybe you just need to forget how to do everything and relearn it. 00:38:42.598 --> 00:38:44.878 But how will I make sure I relearn them right this time? 00:38:45.138 --> 00:38:48.658 Well, if you learn it the same way, we'll just make you forget again. 00:38:48.678 --> 00:38:50.918 Until you finally get it right. 00:38:50.938 --> 00:38:52.418 This is sort of trial and error thing. 00:38:52.438 --> 00:38:53.138 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:38:53.218 --> 00:38:53.578 Cool. 00:38:53.818 --> 00:38:55.338 Oh, I remember what my example was. 00:38:55.438 --> 00:38:58.358 This is the laundry episode of Salt Cravings. 00:38:58.618 --> 00:39:02.518 My whole thing was I was always separating my darks and my lights. 00:39:02.778 --> 00:39:04.718 But you don't have to if you do it in cold water. 00:39:04.878 --> 00:39:06.578 You don't have to if you do it in cold water. 00:39:06.758 --> 00:39:09.558 That was always the way that I had done it, because that was the way that my parents taught me to do it. 00:39:09.678 --> 00:39:11.638 That was the way that I was like super certain. 00:39:11.758 --> 00:39:12.898 This is the way that you do it. 00:39:12.958 --> 00:39:15.298 That's not a thing I didn't know I didn't know. 00:39:15.558 --> 00:39:17.758 So how would I have found that out otherwise? 00:39:17.938 --> 00:39:19.498 What other things don't I know? 00:39:19.518 --> 00:39:21.038 So I just have to forget everything. 00:39:21.058 --> 00:39:21.438 You're right. 00:39:21.598 --> 00:39:25.098 What am I going to do as I have to relearn everything? 00:39:25.118 --> 00:39:26.518 What am I going to do with my life? 00:39:26.538 --> 00:39:27.678 Because there's a lot of things. 00:39:27.698 --> 00:39:30.358 That's going to take a long time for me to relearn things. 00:39:31.098 --> 00:39:32.678 I don't know how I'm going to live on my own. 00:39:32.958 --> 00:39:34.658 Also, where am I relearning this from? 00:39:35.038 --> 00:39:36.678 I think just life experience. 00:39:36.678 --> 00:39:39.018 Like you're just going to get things wrong for a while. 00:39:39.058 --> 00:39:39.778 Okay, great. 00:39:39.938 --> 00:39:40.918 I think that's okay. 00:39:40.938 --> 00:39:41.258 Maybe. 00:39:41.278 --> 00:39:45.338 What if not knowing anything, what if it makes me do really bad things? 00:39:45.398 --> 00:39:48.218 Like not realizing, oh, I need to turn off the oven. 00:39:48.238 --> 00:39:50.358 So I leave the oven on and then I burn down my house. 00:39:50.558 --> 00:39:52.898 Couldn't leave an oven on for a really long time. 00:39:53.098 --> 00:39:55.738 Speaking as someone who's definitely forgotten to turn the oven off. 00:39:55.958 --> 00:39:58.138 So I just have to forget and relearn everything. 00:39:58.198 --> 00:39:59.958 Is there a way we can expedite this process? 00:39:59.998 --> 00:40:00.778 Make it faster. 00:40:01.038 --> 00:40:09.258 So recently, apparently, there's like research going into like being able to make someone experience a thousand years in eight hours. 00:40:09.278 --> 00:40:10.298 Yeah, I saw that. 00:40:10.358 --> 00:40:10.698 Yeah. 00:40:10.838 --> 00:40:13.558 So what if we just did that, but pretty fun things? 00:40:16.138 --> 00:40:16.658 God. 00:40:17.998 --> 00:40:21.898 So like you get a thousand years to just like perfect the art of laundry. 00:40:22.258 --> 00:40:26.718 It's like eight hours later and you're like, ah, you can call me the laundry god. 00:40:26.918 --> 00:40:28.078 Do you know about time prison? 00:40:28.358 --> 00:40:29.618 I've heard of it. 00:40:29.898 --> 00:40:30.418 God. 00:40:30.438 --> 00:40:37.378 The one that I know is from the meme where Shadow the Hedgehog is talking about his time in time prison. 00:40:38.918 --> 00:40:39.698 Have you seen this? 00:40:39.938 --> 00:40:40.438 No. 00:40:40.458 --> 00:40:43.958 I need to see if I can find this. 00:40:44.518 --> 00:40:45.398 Oh my God. 00:40:45.418 --> 00:40:47.118 It's very good. 00:40:47.138 --> 00:40:48.318 Do you want me to read this? 00:40:48.758 --> 00:40:49.198 Sure. 00:40:49.938 --> 00:40:54.018 The Hedgehog's bunny says, Sorry it took us so long to save you from time prison, Shadow. 00:40:54.258 --> 00:40:56.418 So what did you do in time prison, Shadow? 00:40:56.438 --> 00:40:59.538 Well, after 50 years, I started to feel like I was losing my sanity. 00:40:59.558 --> 00:41:01.258 So I started to break my fingers and I would just... 00:41:02.018 --> 00:41:04.458 Okay, content warning for body horror. 00:41:05.498 --> 00:41:08.118 After 50 years, I started to feel like I was losing my sanity. 00:41:08.138 --> 00:41:11.198 So I started to break my fingers and I would just break my fingers and set them again. 00:41:11.198 --> 00:41:12.358 I started breaking all my bones. 00:41:12.378 --> 00:41:13.718 I broke every bone in my hands. 00:41:13.858 --> 00:41:15.438 I broke my arms separately. 00:41:15.458 --> 00:41:16.938 Then I started to break my own ribs. 00:41:17.138 --> 00:41:18.058 I broke my femurs. 00:41:18.078 --> 00:41:18.778 It took a while. 00:41:18.998 --> 00:41:20.378 And then I healed and broke them again. 00:41:20.598 --> 00:41:22.958 After 5000 years, my bones were all scar tissue. 00:41:22.978 --> 00:41:25.578 They had all grown so solidly back together that I was unable to move. 00:41:25.678 --> 00:41:33.518 After another 5000 years of furious, infinitesimal movement, I built up enough muscle mass to spontaneously break any bone in my body and then I could move again. 00:41:33.758 --> 00:41:36.298 My body had done so much healing that I healed almost instantly. 00:41:36.318 --> 00:41:37.178 This is all I do now. 00:41:37.198 --> 00:41:41.058 Every time I move my body, my bones shatter and heal back into my next shape. 00:41:41.398 --> 00:41:45.398 And I take a single step, every bone in my leg splinters and then reforms. 00:41:45.578 --> 00:41:49.258 I don't know what pain is because I haven't been alive for 10 million years. 00:41:49.378 --> 00:41:53.498 Okay, Shadow, Sonic says, okay, Shadow, but it looks like you're just walking normal. 00:41:53.638 --> 00:41:54.038 I know. 00:41:54.238 --> 00:41:55.358 Okay, well, that's stupid. 00:41:56.378 --> 00:41:58.618 What? 00:42:00.118 --> 00:42:01.818 So what you're suggesting is time prison. 00:42:01.978 --> 00:42:02.578 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:42:02.598 --> 00:42:03.458 But for laundry. 00:42:04.638 --> 00:42:08.278 You just do laundry for 10 million years and then you come out of it. 00:42:08.458 --> 00:42:10.098 I am the divine laundry. 00:42:10.978 --> 00:42:13.958 Time prison is a solution, possibly. 00:42:14.338 --> 00:42:17.658 What if I just had someone to teach me things that I should know? 00:42:19.678 --> 00:42:21.138 Why do you always go to AI? 00:42:21.718 --> 00:42:22.558 It doesn't have to be an AI. 00:42:22.578 --> 00:42:26.338 It could be a person, but it seems better on the labor front to have it be an AI. 00:42:26.438 --> 00:42:27.918 Do you care about labor, Clair? 00:42:28.178 --> 00:42:29.718 Then everything has to be robots. 00:42:30.198 --> 00:42:35.118 Because otherwise, the only other option is that I have a person following me around, and I can't afford to pay them very well. 00:42:35.438 --> 00:42:37.278 What if one of your friends helps you? 00:42:37.558 --> 00:42:40.078 Hey, what if you learn things from your friends? 00:42:40.278 --> 00:42:40.838 Friendship? 00:42:40.858 --> 00:42:42.918 What is this, the friendship farm? 00:42:43.178 --> 00:42:43.798 Yeah. 00:42:44.358 --> 00:42:44.538 Oh. 00:42:45.598 --> 00:42:49.938 Like how I just taught you that you can wash your hands in a different way. 00:42:49.958 --> 00:42:50.578 Yeah! 00:42:50.598 --> 00:42:52.478 You can do laundry with your friends. 00:42:52.638 --> 00:42:59.458 Clair, this whole time, I was so focused on time prison, or AI, to teach me things. 00:42:59.718 --> 00:43:01.918 I had forgotten about the power of friendship. 00:43:02.778 --> 00:43:05.258 I think that's the podcast. 00:43:05.518 --> 00:43:07.858 Because here's your salty surprise. 00:43:08.438 --> 00:43:09.238 Oh, wait. 00:43:09.298 --> 00:43:10.738 Why is it shaped like a horse? 00:43:11.558 --> 00:43:13.158 Oh, well, that's part of the surprise. 00:43:13.458 --> 00:43:15.438 It's always shaped like a different animal. 00:43:15.458 --> 00:43:17.638 Was there, I mean, okay. 00:43:17.658 --> 00:43:19.918 It wasn't made from horse, but that's what you're asking. 00:43:20.918 --> 00:43:22.298 It wasn't, it definitely wasn't. 00:43:22.318 --> 00:43:22.858 Cool. 00:43:23.238 --> 00:43:25.058 Can I get some utensils? 00:43:25.798 --> 00:43:26.758 Um, hmm. 00:43:26.938 --> 00:43:28.158 We don't really do those here. 00:43:28.598 --> 00:43:31.678 Oh, is it okay if I just pick it up then? 00:43:31.698 --> 00:43:33.278 Of course, yeah, that's what we expect. 00:43:33.558 --> 00:43:35.538 Why is the plate sticking to it? 00:43:37.338 --> 00:43:38.778 This is like really stuck. 00:43:40.018 --> 00:43:44.178 Well, the plate is for all the drippings to go on when you eat it, so you pick up the plate. 00:43:44.318 --> 00:43:45.338 That's what you use your hands for. 00:43:45.358 --> 00:43:47.278 You weren't touching the actual horse, were you? 00:43:48.478 --> 00:43:50.498 Yeah, you pick it up by the plate. 00:43:51.498 --> 00:43:52.798 You know how a bar and grill works? 00:43:54.298 --> 00:43:56.298 So I just sort of like lick it? 00:43:56.678 --> 00:43:59.278 Yeah, yeah, so you lick it, then you bite it. 00:43:59.678 --> 00:44:00.978 Oh, okay. 00:44:01.038 --> 00:44:01.898 I mean, you could bite it. 00:44:01.918 --> 00:44:02.518 You don't have to lick it. 00:44:02.538 --> 00:44:03.258 You could just bite it. 00:44:04.718 --> 00:44:07.118 You really want the spice and the herbs. 00:44:07.138 --> 00:44:08.858 I don't know if I'm hungry anymore. 00:44:10.198 --> 00:44:12.638 Well, if you don't like it, you can just say so. 00:44:13.198 --> 00:44:17.458 I mean, I don't know if I want to try it. 00:44:17.878 --> 00:44:20.258 Well, I mean, that is kind of disrespectful to the chef. 00:44:20.278 --> 00:44:21.278 It doesn't look that good. 00:44:21.298 --> 00:44:23.678 It is kind of disrespectful to the chef. 00:44:23.698 --> 00:44:26.018 You know, I just work here, so it's not my problem. 00:44:26.138 --> 00:44:28.518 Yeah, I mean, I'm glad you understand. 00:44:28.538 --> 00:44:31.258 I think I'm just gonna go. 00:44:31.438 --> 00:44:32.998 Like, I don't really want this anymore. 00:44:33.018 --> 00:44:36.178 Okay, well, we do have to tell everyone where they can find our podcast. 00:44:37.678 --> 00:44:38.618 Where can I find it? 00:44:38.638 --> 00:44:40.958 Wait, what if I want to flag this as inappropriate? 00:44:40.978 --> 00:44:44.818 Right, so if you want to flag this as inappropriate, which I don't know why you would. 00:44:44.838 --> 00:44:46.798 This was clearly a very appropriate episode. 00:44:48.278 --> 00:44:50.158 There was no discussion of time prison. 00:44:52.118 --> 00:44:53.478 We're floor swallowing. 00:44:53.498 --> 00:44:56.098 We're floor swallowing. 00:44:56.338 --> 00:45:01.178 You can find us on social media at Salt Cravings on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. 00:45:01.238 --> 00:45:04.258 You can find our Patreon, patreon.com, saltcravings. 00:45:04.278 --> 00:45:06.538 Give us a dollar there if you want to hear us keep doing this. 00:45:06.898 --> 00:45:12.578 I can't believe this bar and grill got the name Salt Cravings on social media. 00:45:12.598 --> 00:45:13.798 That's so amazing. 00:45:13.818 --> 00:45:15.218 Yeah, I can't believe we did that. 00:45:15.318 --> 00:45:17.058 It's really incredible. 00:45:17.078 --> 00:45:18.878 I'm really proud of this bar and grill. 00:45:18.898 --> 00:45:22.098 And if you like this show, you could give us a rating. 00:45:22.358 --> 00:45:23.538 If you don't like this show, don't. 00:45:23.798 --> 00:45:26.578 If you like this show, give us a rating. 00:45:26.998 --> 00:45:29.118 What if I feel lukewarm about this show? 00:45:29.738 --> 00:45:30.738 Give us a five-star rating. 00:45:32.758 --> 00:45:36.558 iTunes, Stitcher, really a podcast thing that supports. 00:45:36.578 --> 00:45:37.638 Reviews, give us a review. 00:45:37.638 --> 00:45:38.278 Give us a rating. 00:45:38.738 --> 00:45:39.938 We really appreciate it. 00:45:40.078 --> 00:45:41.758 You can also submit Cravings. 00:45:41.938 --> 00:45:42.798 It's what Heather did. 00:45:42.958 --> 00:45:48.178 You can submit Cravings, and we'll talk about them and solve them for you, like with slimy keyboards or hologram keyboards. 00:45:48.678 --> 00:45:49.978 You can do that at submissions. 00:45:49.998 --> 00:45:51.458 I mean, or the S'glove. 00:45:51.718 --> 00:45:53.618 The S'glove is the best invention. 00:45:53.818 --> 00:45:56.438 You can go to submissions at saltcravings.com for that. 00:45:56.678 --> 00:45:57.438 Is there anything else? 00:45:57.998 --> 00:46:00.998 For respect and digital sovereignty, stand with what's your nation.