WEBVTT 00:00:25.930 --> 00:00:28.510 Hey, everyone, welcome to Salt Cravings. 00:00:28.670 --> 00:00:29.690 I'm Sonic. 00:00:33.230 --> 00:00:36.010 Hey, Pikachu, how are you doing today? 00:00:38.190 --> 00:00:42.070 So, what's it like having your movie beaten by mine? 00:00:47.810 --> 00:00:55.250 Yes, it's me, Sonic, from the popular film, Sonic the Hedgehog, which is blowing everyone's mind. 00:00:55.530 --> 00:01:06.050 And I'm here to give the intro to our two hosts today for this podcast here, both avid fans of me, Clair and Brianna. 00:01:06.690 --> 00:01:07.510 Oh, hey, thanks. 00:01:07.650 --> 00:01:08.310 Thanks, Sonic. 00:01:08.710 --> 00:01:09.410 I need to leave. 00:01:11.530 --> 00:01:11.850 What? 00:01:12.550 --> 00:01:13.330 You love Sonic? 00:01:13.630 --> 00:01:14.490 I need to leave. 00:01:15.330 --> 00:01:16.570 I couldn't, I couldn't. 00:01:17.030 --> 00:01:18.710 Hey, what's the problem, Clair? 00:01:20.730 --> 00:01:22.630 But I was a child in the movie. 00:01:22.910 --> 00:01:24.510 You can't say that to a child. 00:01:24.530 --> 00:01:28.430 Okay, first off, we don't even know that. 00:01:29.090 --> 00:01:30.710 I sure acted like a child. 00:01:30.730 --> 00:01:33.850 I acted like I was six. 00:01:37.290 --> 00:01:37.830 Yeah. 00:01:40.570 --> 00:01:42.810 So, Sonic the Hedgehog came out. 00:01:46.690 --> 00:01:48.170 I waited so long. 00:01:48.550 --> 00:01:50.650 It's a pretty generic kids movie. 00:01:51.130 --> 00:01:52.410 But the thing is, it's... 00:01:53.350 --> 00:01:55.590 Can we just talk about Sonic this whole episode? 00:01:55.610 --> 00:01:58.370 Cause like spoilers for Sonic, can we? 00:01:59.010 --> 00:02:01.050 Can we spoilers for Sonic this episode? 00:02:01.070 --> 00:02:03.170 I am super happy to do spoilers for Sonic. 00:02:03.190 --> 00:02:07.850 I will put a timestamp in the description of when the spoilers start and when the spoilers end. 00:02:07.870 --> 00:02:12.030 If you don't wanna listen to Sonic's spoilers, check out the timestamp. 00:02:12.050 --> 00:02:13.570 We're talking about them now. 00:02:13.650 --> 00:02:14.990 Can we get Sonic out of the room? 00:02:15.010 --> 00:02:16.310 Okay, yeah, just go. 00:02:18.370 --> 00:02:24.630 Okay, cool, so like the first fucking thing they do is, so I bet you're wondering how I got here. 00:02:25.210 --> 00:02:28.250 And like, I fucking lost it. 00:02:28.330 --> 00:02:30.270 I just couldn't handle it. 00:02:30.290 --> 00:02:33.070 I was like, are they actually doing this? 00:02:33.110 --> 00:02:36.510 Like, they're not even, they're not even, they're not even trying. 00:02:38.650 --> 00:02:40.250 Like, I think that's it. 00:02:40.270 --> 00:02:41.690 That's all, like my whole review. 00:02:41.890 --> 00:02:49.290 I went into the, okay, so I went into Sonic being like, I don't wanna walk out of Sonic thinking about a critical analysis of Sonic. 00:02:49.370 --> 00:02:50.890 I just wanna have a good time. 00:02:51.230 --> 00:02:57.390 And I did it because it destroyed my brain cells and I'm no longer able to apply critical analysis to anything. 00:02:57.410 --> 00:03:05.350 I, on that, and also can we talk about the product placement for fucking Olive Garden. 00:03:05.430 --> 00:03:09.270 So yeah, the first thing is, there's so many things. 00:03:09.490 --> 00:03:15.930 The first thing that I think we can talk about is there was some product placement, including some product placement for Olive Garden. 00:03:17.150 --> 00:03:19.770 Yeah, lots of Olive Garden, lots of some like- 00:03:19.790 --> 00:03:20.690 I don't even remember. 00:03:20.710 --> 00:03:21.730 There were so many things. 00:03:21.750 --> 00:03:22.790 The shoes, the shoes. 00:03:22.810 --> 00:03:25.570 There was some like app or whatever, probably. 00:03:26.290 --> 00:03:28.190 Shout out to Cops, who we love now. 00:03:28.210 --> 00:03:29.110 Oh my God. 00:03:29.110 --> 00:03:31.110 I watched the trailers. 00:03:32.830 --> 00:03:36.590 I knew it was gonna be a cop movie, but I didn't know it was gonna be like- 00:03:36.770 --> 00:03:40.250 A dude who wants to go to San Francisco so he can be a street cop. 00:03:40.930 --> 00:03:42.610 He's like, I'm not a cop enough. 00:03:42.770 --> 00:03:45.230 Yeah, he was like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like. 00:03:45.250 --> 00:03:49.090 I'm kind of a small town, which means I don't get to, like, an okay person. 00:03:49.110 --> 00:03:51.450 fucking harass and abuse people. 00:03:51.810 --> 00:03:54.470 I'm gonna go to San Francisco where I can beat up gay people. 00:03:56.230 --> 00:03:56.930 It's awful. 00:03:56.970 --> 00:03:58.350 It's like, ugh. 00:03:58.630 --> 00:04:03.170 Like, he literally complains because it's like, oh, and I have to like go help my neighbors. 00:04:03.190 --> 00:04:04.970 And it's like, that's like amazing. 00:04:04.990 --> 00:04:05.950 What you should be doing. 00:04:05.970 --> 00:04:08.970 You get paid to like go help your neighbors. 00:04:08.990 --> 00:04:09.910 Yeah, for real. 00:04:11.610 --> 00:04:16.730 Even just, even if we were to overlook that character, who, well, I'll have you know, he's not racist. 00:04:16.750 --> 00:04:17.910 He's married to a black woman. 00:04:18.710 --> 00:04:21.770 Which is my favorite way of showing that a cop is not racist. 00:04:21.790 --> 00:04:22.390 Her sister. 00:04:22.850 --> 00:04:26.670 Oh, the way they treat her sister is so racist and so shitty. 00:04:27.790 --> 00:04:29.050 It's really bad. 00:04:31.030 --> 00:04:31.950 Let's move past that. 00:04:31.970 --> 00:04:33.190 Let's just talk about Sonic. 00:04:33.550 --> 00:04:37.130 Let's just talk about this character who's not Sonic. 00:04:37.270 --> 00:04:38.550 And that's okay. 00:04:38.590 --> 00:04:42.090 Like, I will say, Ben Schwartz's voice acting, he does a fine Sonic. 00:04:42.110 --> 00:04:42.750 Yeah, he's fine. 00:04:42.770 --> 00:04:43.670 He's Sonic. 00:04:43.770 --> 00:04:46.270 I've watched a few videos with him on YouTube. 00:04:46.890 --> 00:04:48.730 He has like kind of a chaotic energy. 00:04:48.750 --> 00:04:56.250 He has a chaotic, capitalist energy of like, I'm here to do business, and my business is being funny sort of energy. 00:04:56.270 --> 00:04:57.250 Exactly. 00:04:58.490 --> 00:05:00.110 He does a fine job with the voice. 00:05:00.130 --> 00:05:08.270 The voice is fine, but like everything else, it's like in the film, it's just like, Sonic can have little of personality as a treat. 00:05:08.590 --> 00:05:12.490 Instead, for most of the thing, he is just a child. 00:05:12.510 --> 00:05:14.130 He is just like a kid. 00:05:14.170 --> 00:05:22.090 It is just like a pretty generic, like alien from another world, like kid alien from another world type plot line, but not done particularly well. 00:05:22.110 --> 00:05:24.190 God, I can't believe Sonic the Hedgehog is Ben 10. 00:05:24.630 --> 00:05:25.930 It is, it is, yeah. 00:05:25.950 --> 00:05:29.230 Like it's fucking, it's like in the tradition of ET. 00:05:29.370 --> 00:05:36.110 I can't wait for the Sonic the Werehog movie so that we can actually have the Ben 10 references of Transforming. 00:05:36.610 --> 00:05:38.550 Also, sorry, one more thing. 00:05:38.650 --> 00:05:40.810 No, we have so many more things to go. 00:05:40.830 --> 00:05:47.270 But another thing is the end of the movie, the after credits movie thing is Tails shows up. 00:05:47.530 --> 00:05:50.330 And he looks completely super normal. 00:05:50.710 --> 00:05:54.330 Can you imagine that with Sonic the Hedgehog looking all fucked up? 00:05:54.670 --> 00:05:56.730 Yeah, it would be wild. 00:05:56.790 --> 00:05:57.870 It would be so wild. 00:05:57.930 --> 00:05:58.970 My girlfriend and I went to see it. 00:05:59.250 --> 00:06:01.330 She was very excited when Tails showed up on screen. 00:06:01.350 --> 00:06:05.410 I'm like, I hope they make a Sonic, a second Sonic movie so that we can see Tails in action. 00:06:05.430 --> 00:06:07.070 Full disclosure, I want another Sonic. 00:06:07.210 --> 00:06:11.650 Like, yeah, no, like I genuinely, I hope it, I'm glad that it's like doing a little bit well. 00:06:11.810 --> 00:06:12.530 I like, I'm not- 00:06:12.550 --> 00:06:14.110 Apparently it's doing really well. 00:06:14.130 --> 00:06:15.090 Apparently it's doing really well. 00:06:15.530 --> 00:06:15.850 And- 00:06:15.870 --> 00:06:24.110 God, I hope they go, but also the fucking eight bit, like just the whole movie again, but in eight bit credits. 00:06:24.490 --> 00:06:26.310 Why didn't we just get that? 00:06:26.410 --> 00:06:28.610 Why didn't we just get an eight bit movie? 00:06:28.750 --> 00:06:30.510 That would be sick as hell. 00:06:30.590 --> 00:06:33.690 There's a couple of things that we need to talk about with Jim Carrey. 00:06:33.910 --> 00:06:34.550 Oh my God. 00:06:35.250 --> 00:06:37.310 First of all, this was just, this was not Eggman. 00:06:37.330 --> 00:06:40.490 This was Jim Carrey playing a Jim Carrey character, which is fine. 00:06:41.230 --> 00:06:45.730 The end, I will say, the end sequence with Eggman in the mushroom world, that's Eggman. 00:06:47.250 --> 00:06:47.470 Yeah. 00:06:47.490 --> 00:06:49.790 That's the Eggman I can respect. 00:06:49.810 --> 00:06:51.130 I mean, with the mustache. 00:06:51.430 --> 00:06:53.910 Not even just the look, but like the vibe. 00:06:53.970 --> 00:06:55.550 The whole Mr. 00:06:55.570 --> 00:07:00.190 Stone character was there for that one fucking joke at the end. 00:07:00.230 --> 00:07:02.370 And I'll never not be mad about that. 00:07:02.390 --> 00:07:07.070 Yeah, and I will say though, that like Mr. 00:07:07.090 --> 00:07:08.430 Stone, that's the, is that the- 00:07:08.450 --> 00:07:10.450 I mean, I only remember his name was Mr. 00:07:10.470 --> 00:07:13.790 Stone because at the end, there's a rock that he's carved Mr. 00:07:13.810 --> 00:07:17.490 Stone's face into it and be like, ha ha, get it, Mr. 00:07:17.710 --> 00:07:19.970 And like, he's like, I'm doing a pun. 00:07:19.990 --> 00:07:26.890 That the only joke in this movie that really worked for me was when he's like getting prepared to get angry at Mr. 00:07:26.910 --> 00:07:31.410 Stone, he's just like pin yourself to the wall, which is so good. 00:07:31.710 --> 00:07:32.830 So it just like does it. 00:07:32.850 --> 00:07:35.850 Otherwise, he's just a weirdly homoerotic punching bag. 00:07:36.070 --> 00:07:42.290 The other thing that's wild about Eggman is that there is a scene near the beginning of the movie where they're talking about Dr. 00:07:42.310 --> 00:07:43.970 Eggman that implies that Dr. 00:07:43.990 --> 00:07:46.330 Eggman committed drone warfare in the Middle East. 00:07:47.550 --> 00:07:51.590 Yeah, no, he like destroyed a country? 00:07:51.610 --> 00:07:58.950 He like, they say something along the lines of like, oh, did you ever hear about the coup in like this Middle Eastern country and this like overthrow of this place? 00:07:58.970 --> 00:07:59.970 And they're like, no. 00:08:00.090 --> 00:08:03.050 And he's like, exactly, that's what he did. 00:08:03.390 --> 00:08:05.370 And it's like, and you know that Dr. 00:08:05.390 --> 00:08:07.550 Eggman's whole thing is dealing with the drones. 00:08:07.710 --> 00:08:10.570 So there is a heavy implication that Dr. 00:08:10.590 --> 00:08:12.870 Eggman committed drone warfare in the Middle East. 00:08:12.890 --> 00:08:16.710 I didn't think about the specifically drone warfare, but like, yeah. 00:08:16.730 --> 00:08:25.450 But that's even bad enough is just like, wait, the Sonic villain overthrew, like literally committed war crimes for the United States of America? 00:08:25.470 --> 00:08:27.230 Are you fucking kidding me? 00:08:27.250 --> 00:08:34.370 It's a very like US production of Sonic the Hedgehog, and also kind of a little on the nose, but. 00:08:34.390 --> 00:08:44.050 And even with that, there is like this, this like, you know, at the end it's like, oh, the US military is totally fine, and is good actually, because they're like, they want to get rid of. 00:08:44.070 --> 00:08:45.570 Because they gave them an Olive Garden. 00:08:45.590 --> 00:08:47.210 Yeah, because they gave them an Olive Garden. 00:08:47.230 --> 00:08:49.390 Here's $50 to Olive Garden. 00:08:49.410 --> 00:08:50.510 So it's fine actually. 00:08:50.530 --> 00:08:52.170 Really the breadsticks. 00:08:52.790 --> 00:08:55.010 That was like an actual line or something. 00:08:55.350 --> 00:08:58.530 Yeah, whereas what would actually happen is that both of them would get shot in the head. 00:08:58.750 --> 00:09:00.470 Yeah, like it didn't make sense. 00:09:00.710 --> 00:09:04.250 Thank you for not talking about this. 00:09:04.410 --> 00:09:06.170 Here's $50. 00:09:06.350 --> 00:09:07.250 That's the end. 00:09:07.310 --> 00:09:09.110 You're never gonna hear from us again. 00:09:09.130 --> 00:09:10.450 Okay, it's a kid's movie, right? 00:09:10.470 --> 00:09:11.610 Like it's a kid's movie. 00:09:11.850 --> 00:09:14.070 I get it, they have to tie up all the loose ends cleanly. 00:09:14.090 --> 00:09:20.850 And if they're gonna introduce the military, that means that anything that they do that isn't literally these two people get shot is going to be unrealistic. 00:09:21.770 --> 00:09:23.770 But still, that's a weird thing. 00:09:25.550 --> 00:09:29.070 They moved back into the house that the military knew they lived in. 00:09:29.490 --> 00:09:29.910 Yeah. 00:09:30.130 --> 00:09:32.570 And then they adopted a child hedgehog. 00:09:32.910 --> 00:09:33.730 They adopted a kid hedgehog. 00:09:33.750 --> 00:09:34.830 And everyone's just okay with that. 00:09:34.870 --> 00:09:35.950 Yeah, which like... 00:09:36.150 --> 00:09:37.070 The whole town is... 00:09:37.090 --> 00:09:37.570 Okay. 00:09:37.590 --> 00:09:41.310 Okay, listen, the problem is not that the movie is unrealistic. 00:09:41.330 --> 00:09:42.790 We knew it was gonna be unrealistic. 00:09:42.810 --> 00:09:43.970 No, that's fine. 00:09:44.490 --> 00:09:45.770 I'm totally fine with that. 00:09:45.790 --> 00:09:46.730 I don't care about that. 00:09:47.010 --> 00:09:48.610 The problem is that it isn't good. 00:09:53.170 --> 00:10:08.070 Oh, God, there were so many parts where I was cringing and I just couldn't look, not because of gore or anything, just because it physically hurt to consume the product that was the Sonic the Hedgehog movie. 00:10:08.190 --> 00:10:09.630 Here's some things I will say. 00:10:09.890 --> 00:10:11.230 The Sonic movie is for kids. 00:10:11.350 --> 00:10:11.750 Yeah. 00:10:12.050 --> 00:10:12.970 I'm fine with that. 00:10:13.090 --> 00:10:13.410 Absolutely. 00:10:13.430 --> 00:10:16.070 The kids in the theater seem to really enjoy the movie. 00:10:16.090 --> 00:10:18.190 There were maybe five people in the theater. 00:10:18.210 --> 00:10:20.150 There were a bunch of kids when we went. 00:10:20.170 --> 00:10:21.690 We went on Valentine's Day, right? 00:10:22.130 --> 00:10:24.890 And third thing is kids deserve a better Sonic movie. 00:10:25.230 --> 00:10:25.830 True. 00:10:25.970 --> 00:10:26.650 Like, true. 00:10:26.670 --> 00:10:31.330 Like, yeah, like it's one thing to be like, oh, well it's for kids. 00:10:31.350 --> 00:10:32.390 And this is a take that I've seen. 00:10:32.410 --> 00:10:36.150 And I'm like, okay, I'm fine with it being for kids. 00:10:36.170 --> 00:10:41.710 And I don't need it to be like for gamers, for Sonic fans, whatever the fuck. 00:10:41.910 --> 00:10:44.750 But you can have a kids movie that's also a good movie. 00:10:44.990 --> 00:10:50.010 That's a thing that animation has figured out that I don't think live action kids movies have learned yet. 00:10:50.010 --> 00:10:53.830 I just want an animated Sonic movie. 00:10:54.070 --> 00:10:55.010 Yeah, me too. 00:10:55.030 --> 00:10:56.270 I want Sonic X back. 00:10:56.290 --> 00:10:57.030 That's what I want. 00:10:57.390 --> 00:11:00.130 For the second Sonic movie, I want all of Sonic's friends there. 00:11:00.530 --> 00:11:00.810 I- 00:11:00.830 --> 00:11:01.090 Right? 00:11:01.270 --> 00:11:02.570 They animated Green Hills. 00:11:02.590 --> 00:11:05.190 Like the opening of the movie is like Green Hills. 00:11:05.430 --> 00:11:08.010 And then we just never visit that. 00:11:08.030 --> 00:11:11.370 Instead, we go to a town called Green Hills instead of the Green Hill Zone. 00:11:11.370 --> 00:11:13.730 Which is very funny, I will admit. 00:11:14.010 --> 00:11:18.070 But like they clearly could have just made a really good Sonic movie. 00:11:18.090 --> 00:11:21.490 And I want it to be, listen, next movie, make it about- 00:11:21.510 --> 00:11:22.610 Just send Sonic back. 00:11:22.630 --> 00:11:25.010 Send Sonic back, make it about the Chaos Emeralds. 00:11:25.190 --> 00:11:27.150 Like do that whole goddamn thing. 00:11:27.170 --> 00:11:29.130 Don't make it about the Chaos Emeralds. 00:11:29.270 --> 00:11:29.670 They're gonna- 00:11:29.690 --> 00:11:31.010 Please make it about the Chaos Emeralds. 00:11:31.030 --> 00:11:34.430 It's gonna be so bad if they make it about the Chaos Emeralds. 00:11:34.450 --> 00:11:35.450 Just make it an adventure movie. 00:11:35.490 --> 00:11:36.350 Like truly- 00:11:36.390 --> 00:11:39.090 All right, make it a seven movie franchise. 00:11:39.110 --> 00:11:42.050 Like the Harry Potter one per Emerald. 00:11:42.110 --> 00:11:45.570 And it's like we meet a new character every movie. 00:11:46.230 --> 00:11:46.910 Oh God. 00:11:46.910 --> 00:11:54.090 I just like want them all to be introduced to the same character because if we just get Tails, then that means it's gonna be Sonic 3 plus Knuckles, which would be fucked. 00:11:54.110 --> 00:11:54.670 Fuck yeah. 00:11:54.770 --> 00:11:55.550 And then Rouge. 00:11:55.570 --> 00:11:57.130 And then Shadow the Hedgehog. 00:11:57.210 --> 00:12:03.570 No, Shadow is the penultimate character because the finale is Sonic and Shadow kissing. 00:12:03.670 --> 00:12:05.030 Yeah, oh yeah. 00:12:05.050 --> 00:12:08.230 So they have to be angry in the second last movie. 00:12:08.250 --> 00:12:14.190 And in the last movie, they're like, I understand I was angry at you because of my internalized homophobia. 00:12:17.550 --> 00:12:18.910 Yeah, absolutely. 00:12:18.930 --> 00:12:21.010 The Sonic cinematic universe. 00:12:21.030 --> 00:12:23.290 So this is a great segue. 00:12:23.390 --> 00:12:25.890 I was not gonna do this craving, but- 00:12:25.890 --> 00:12:30.010 Yeah, we're back from the spoiler zone now, everyone. 00:12:30.010 --> 00:12:45.250 We're done the spoiler zone and I wasn't gonna do this craving at all, but because we talked about Sonic the Hedgehog and because just the other day, the new Pokémon animated short got released on YouTube. 00:12:45.390 --> 00:12:46.450 The one with, is that the one with- 00:12:46.470 --> 00:12:47.190 With the gym leader. 00:12:47.230 --> 00:12:47.990 With the fighting type. 00:12:48.010 --> 00:12:48.930 Fighting gym leader. 00:12:48.950 --> 00:12:50.050 Yeah, which was rad. 00:12:50.070 --> 00:12:51.790 Which was so good. 00:12:51.810 --> 00:12:54.050 The animation was so good. 00:12:54.070 --> 00:12:56.350 The storytelling was so good. 00:12:56.650 --> 00:12:58.390 And I can't fucking wait. 00:12:58.530 --> 00:13:00.770 I want Ash to fucking die. 00:13:00.790 --> 00:13:03.910 I crave Ash's death so hard. 00:13:03.930 --> 00:13:04.130 Jesus. 00:13:05.250 --> 00:13:10.990 I want an animated Pokémon series without Ash as a protagonist. 00:13:11.710 --> 00:13:14.650 We have had Ash for what, 15 years? 00:13:15.370 --> 00:13:23.710 And Pokémon has again and again proven that they can write good stories that are interesting with beautiful animation. 00:13:24.010 --> 00:13:31.590 And they give us like shorts or they give us, a few years ago, there was like the red animated, like the Pokémon. 00:13:31.610 --> 00:13:34.210 Yeah, like there was a bunch of shorts. 00:13:34.750 --> 00:13:37.250 But it was like collectively like maybe an hour. 00:13:37.730 --> 00:13:38.050 Yeah. 00:13:38.270 --> 00:13:39.870 And it was really good. 00:13:40.590 --> 00:13:47.890 And I just want a good adult, not adult Pokémon, not bad, but I want- 00:13:47.910 --> 00:13:50.110 Oh, you don't want the champ in there? 00:13:50.230 --> 00:13:53.510 I don't want pregnant Pikachu with Sonic's child. 00:13:53.530 --> 00:13:57.370 Please, you didn't have to bring that into the podcast. 00:13:57.730 --> 00:13:59.530 You didn't have to bring that into the podcast. 00:13:59.550 --> 00:14:01.650 You made, you sent me that post. 00:14:02.750 --> 00:14:03.690 You sent me that comic. 00:14:03.710 --> 00:14:04.890 You didn't have to bring it into the podcast. 00:14:05.750 --> 00:14:06.610 But I did. 00:14:06.630 --> 00:14:07.570 Thanks. 00:14:08.250 --> 00:14:09.110 I get what you mean. 00:14:09.130 --> 00:14:12.590 Yeah, like I want to enjoy watching Pokémon. 00:14:12.630 --> 00:14:19.070 Yeah, there's a lot of really interesting stories that even just that you could explore that are not centered around Ash. 00:14:19.210 --> 00:14:32.870 Like we can talk about the history of like, presumably Leon, what the short is about is Leon defeating the fighting gym leader who was like the previous champion and she's just traumatized now. 00:14:34.190 --> 00:14:36.070 Ah, I want to explore that. 00:14:36.150 --> 00:14:39.170 I want to return to her or I want to like... 00:14:39.350 --> 00:14:41.090 Yeah, she seems like a really interesting character. 00:14:41.290 --> 00:14:45.470 A lot of the gym leaders, especially in Sword and Shield, I think were really, really good. 00:14:45.530 --> 00:14:47.030 And every generation, right? 00:14:47.050 --> 00:14:51.650 The gym leaders, the elite four members, those characters are really fun and cool and interesting. 00:14:51.670 --> 00:14:54.070 They're good because they're the story. 00:14:54.210 --> 00:14:59.010 I want the animated shorts and shows to recognize that more. 00:14:59.190 --> 00:15:10.930 And I mean, just disclaimer, they do in Alola, like Alola basically has half the gym leaders, I guess not gym, trial masters, all as friends, and they are Ash's friends. 00:15:10.970 --> 00:15:13.090 And like, cool, okay, flesh them out. 00:15:13.230 --> 00:15:15.410 I want to pay respect to what they're doing, right? 00:15:15.430 --> 00:15:15.930 Let's fair. 00:15:15.970 --> 00:15:18.290 I've not seen Pokémon in quite some time. 00:15:18.310 --> 00:15:21.710 I don't think I've watched the show consistently since like probably gen three. 00:15:21.730 --> 00:15:32.650 People shit on the Alolan animation because it looks quote unquote more childish, but like, so I read an article one time that like the reason they changed the animation style was because it's more dynamic now. 00:15:32.670 --> 00:15:40.370 And so AKA basically they can do more anime shit where like the Pokémon battles are now more fluid and dynamic, and it really shows in the show. 00:15:40.570 --> 00:15:49.890 Do you remember like the old shows where like Charizard use flamethrower and then Charizard's jaw unhinges and fire comes out and nothing else changes in the scene? 00:15:50.270 --> 00:15:51.970 I know what to do. 00:15:52.230 --> 00:16:01.130 The shorts have told us a little bit about Leon's rise, but I would be interested in knowing about Leon and Sonya's adventures. 00:16:01.790 --> 00:16:03.090 Oh, they were friends, weren't they? 00:16:03.110 --> 00:16:04.030 They were like rivals. 00:16:04.050 --> 00:16:05.030 They were the rivals. 00:16:05.310 --> 00:16:05.850 Oh yeah. 00:16:05.870 --> 00:16:11.890 And like, first of all, dual protagonist is great for a series that have two games come out every gen. 00:16:12.190 --> 00:16:13.910 Yeah, why don't they do that? 00:16:13.930 --> 00:16:20.570 Why don't they make like two versions and then like do two protagonists and then like each game gets one of them? 00:16:20.770 --> 00:16:21.650 Yeah, I don't know. 00:16:21.710 --> 00:16:22.970 That would be sick. 00:16:23.150 --> 00:16:33.310 But I like the idea of this show kind of following both of them, sort of in the style of like, sort of in the style of something like Avatar or She-Ra. 00:16:33.330 --> 00:16:37.130 Where it's like you're cutting between this crew and this crew. 00:16:37.550 --> 00:16:48.070 And so you're cutting between like Leon and whoever and then like Sonya and whoever as you're telling kind of the story of how they rose to whatever level that they got to. 00:16:48.090 --> 00:16:55.630 Because you know a little bit about their story and the fact that they were like rivals and stuff and like Leon ultimately goes on to be the champion and Sonya decides to... 00:16:55.810 --> 00:16:57.130 A-U Sonya champion. 00:16:57.330 --> 00:16:58.630 I love that, love that idea. 00:16:58.650 --> 00:16:59.770 I just want that. 00:16:59.790 --> 00:17:08.070 I think what I've learned from the games and from the animated shorts is that Leon is a giant dick bag and I hate Leon. 00:17:08.570 --> 00:17:13.250 What I know about Leon, I want to propose to you an alternative model of understanding Leon. 00:17:13.730 --> 00:17:14.570 He's a himbo. 00:17:14.590 --> 00:17:16.850 We can be both. 00:17:17.390 --> 00:17:17.810 Fair. 00:17:17.950 --> 00:17:19.610 Leon has big ADHD energy. 00:17:19.630 --> 00:17:20.630 He's like the airhead. 00:17:20.650 --> 00:17:22.230 Which helps me like him a little more. 00:17:22.250 --> 00:17:22.770 Okay, fine. 00:17:22.790 --> 00:17:24.270 But he's still kind of a hunk. 00:17:24.310 --> 00:17:25.630 He's just so thoughtless. 00:17:25.850 --> 00:17:29.230 I mean, literally that is his character is he like is thoughtless. 00:17:29.270 --> 00:17:31.650 He like is like, I don't really know what's going on. 00:17:31.670 --> 00:17:33.390 I just keep succeeding upwards. 00:17:33.410 --> 00:17:34.270 Yeah, absolutely. 00:17:34.450 --> 00:17:35.830 Then who cares about Leon? 00:17:35.910 --> 00:17:37.010 Let's just follow Sonya. 00:17:37.030 --> 00:17:37.770 Cause I like her. 00:17:38.110 --> 00:17:39.410 I think Sonya is neat. 00:17:40.670 --> 00:17:42.690 The march stops in me. 00:17:42.690 --> 00:17:43.870 Holding Sonya. 00:17:44.190 --> 00:17:45.990 I want to know why she. 00:17:46.150 --> 00:17:47.670 Why she becomes a professor. 00:17:47.690 --> 00:17:49.170 Yeah, why she becomes a professor. 00:17:49.190 --> 00:17:50.930 Can we talk about Grand Oak? 00:17:51.250 --> 00:17:53.130 Have you heard about Grand Oak? 00:17:53.590 --> 00:17:53.990 No. 00:17:56.470 --> 00:17:59.370 So he's like the evolution of Oak. 00:17:59.490 --> 00:18:09.950 So, Pokémon in its infinite wisdom has decided that Oak, the original professor, is going to just like be a ditto, I guess, or a clone. 00:18:10.090 --> 00:18:25.650 There's an Oak Factory somewhere because we have Oak's cousin, Alolan cousin, and now we have Grand Oak, which kind of just looks like if Oak got younger and older at the same time and also fused with a Rockstar and also a sci-fi punk. 00:18:26.230 --> 00:18:28.030 What are the things that you're saying to me? 00:18:29.750 --> 00:18:32.410 Please just look up an image of Grand Oak. 00:18:32.430 --> 00:18:34.330 I'm Googling an image of Grand Oak. 00:18:38.110 --> 00:18:42.550 I am the great Pokémon researcher, Grand Oak, and he's pointing his thumb at himself. 00:18:42.570 --> 00:18:43.890 Uh-huh, can I see again? 00:18:43.910 --> 00:18:46.510 Yeah, that's Grand Oak. 00:18:46.850 --> 00:18:47.310 Yeah. 00:18:48.650 --> 00:18:50.690 I'm gonna attempt to describe Grand Oak for the viewers. 00:18:50.710 --> 00:18:56.450 He's simultaneously younger and older, and he looks like he got fused with a rock star and a sci-fi punk. 00:18:56.710 --> 00:18:57.350 So, yes. 00:18:57.370 --> 00:18:58.910 I don't know what else you need. 00:18:58.930 --> 00:19:01.610 So, he's Professor Oak. 00:19:02.110 --> 00:19:05.110 So, start, the template starts with Professor Oak. 00:19:05.130 --> 00:19:07.370 Okay, I'm just gonna let you, all right, I'm just gonna let you do this. 00:19:08.390 --> 00:19:14.630 And then instead of having a normal lab coat and stuff, I think he's just wearing a white shirt. 00:19:14.670 --> 00:19:17.290 Oh no, he's wearing a lab coat over a white shirt. 00:19:17.370 --> 00:19:22.970 What he does have is a little tiny bit of beard on his chin, just a little chin beard that's like- 00:19:22.990 --> 00:19:24.350 A goatee, if you will. 00:19:24.370 --> 00:19:25.930 A goatee, if you will. 00:19:25.990 --> 00:19:37.710 And his hair is the exact same as it is in the top normally, except it also comes down in big, huge, like wavy, like he has long hair, but at the top it still looks the same. 00:19:37.910 --> 00:19:48.350 I don't know exactly what his face looks like, because you see a significant amount of it is covered by his glasses, which look like two arrows going opposite directions. 00:19:48.650 --> 00:19:54.030 It's a weird kind of triangular shape with two arrows coming out on either side. 00:19:54.310 --> 00:19:58.150 And he is pointing his thumb at himself and like grinning. 00:19:58.250 --> 00:20:01.810 And it says, I am the great Pokémon researcher, Grand Oak. 00:20:02.030 --> 00:20:02.990 I just want different- 00:20:03.010 --> 00:20:04.230 Oh, so he's wearing an Apple watch. 00:20:04.630 --> 00:20:05.050 Is he? 00:20:07.330 --> 00:20:08.870 Of course he is. 00:20:08.890 --> 00:20:09.350 Yeah. 00:20:09.610 --> 00:20:11.670 So what's the next Oak we're gonna get? 00:20:13.730 --> 00:20:14.410 Kid Oak. 00:20:14.670 --> 00:20:21.630 It's like, so it's the same sort of thing where he still looks like Oak, where he's still old, but now he's like a five-year-old. 00:20:21.650 --> 00:20:23.530 So it's Sonic the Hedgehog, the Oak. 00:20:23.770 --> 00:20:25.070 It's Sonic the Oak. 00:20:26.210 --> 00:20:29.310 I think this has every episode, you meet a different Oak. 00:20:30.110 --> 00:20:30.290 Ah. 00:20:30.310 --> 00:20:36.130 There's Kid Oak, there's Sonic Oak, which is just a fusion of Sonic the Hedgehog and Oak. 00:20:36.670 --> 00:20:39.950 There is, and that's a really fun Nintendo Sega crossover. 00:20:39.970 --> 00:20:41.110 There's Pikachu Oak. 00:20:41.130 --> 00:20:43.350 And there's Pikachu Oak, there's an Oak tree. 00:20:44.730 --> 00:20:46.510 Is it like a living Oak tree? 00:20:46.710 --> 00:20:47.810 It's like an ant. 00:20:48.370 --> 00:20:49.050 Oh, great. 00:20:49.070 --> 00:20:50.870 And it just has like Oak's face on it. 00:20:50.890 --> 00:20:51.270 Yes. 00:20:51.550 --> 00:20:53.050 Good, normal. 00:20:53.070 --> 00:20:55.130 That's just Oak, that's just tree Oak. 00:20:55.150 --> 00:20:58.170 That's just Oak, not Professor Oak. 00:20:58.190 --> 00:21:02.230 There's also, of course, OAK, which is... 00:21:02.690 --> 00:21:04.030 You mean O for a K? 00:21:04.590 --> 00:21:07.030 Yeah, yeah, either, I mean both. 00:21:07.150 --> 00:21:09.010 They're robots, they're robot Oaks. 00:21:09.010 --> 00:21:11.190 They're twin robot Oaks. 00:21:11.550 --> 00:21:13.510 They look like Oak, but they're robots. 00:21:13.830 --> 00:21:18.370 This is worse than Bill being cloned in the first Pokémon game. 00:21:18.530 --> 00:21:20.910 Well, he wasn't cloned, he was combined with a Clefairy. 00:21:21.090 --> 00:21:28.530 But like, right, so he has to destroy his body and then reconfigure it, so it's not really his original body, it's a clone. 00:21:28.690 --> 00:21:29.090 Bill? 00:21:29.110 --> 00:21:30.390 Pokémon different rules. 00:21:31.870 --> 00:21:37.150 Pokémon has literal goddamn magic in the form of psychic Pokémon and shit. 00:21:37.250 --> 00:21:38.990 That's not magic, that's psychic. 00:21:39.150 --> 00:21:41.150 Oh, you're right, Telekinesis isn't magic. 00:21:41.290 --> 00:21:41.770 Yeah. 00:21:41.790 --> 00:21:42.790 Oh, you're so right. 00:21:44.450 --> 00:21:47.110 Okay, so you're saying that psychic Pokémon are real. 00:21:47.130 --> 00:21:48.090 Jirachi is magic. 00:21:48.110 --> 00:21:49.430 Yeah, thank you, there we go. 00:21:49.830 --> 00:21:53.750 Yeah, no, there's literal magic and stuff in Pokémon, so it could really be anything. 00:21:54.030 --> 00:21:56.810 He doesn't have to destroy his original body, stop being weird about it. 00:22:01.050 --> 00:22:03.990 I feel like the Oaks are just foreshadowing Sonya's fate. 00:22:04.350 --> 00:22:04.790 What? 00:22:06.710 --> 00:22:08.530 Does every professor turn into an Oak? 00:22:08.530 --> 00:22:10.370 Is this where the Oaks come from? 00:22:10.390 --> 00:22:16.290 It's not like, yeah, Professor Birch was young, but wait until he gets older. 00:22:16.310 --> 00:22:21.910 Yeah, instead of like Team Rocket and stuff, you're finding out there's a nefarious- 00:22:23.090 --> 00:22:23.730 Team Oak. 00:22:24.070 --> 00:22:26.930 There's the nefarious Team Oak, which is a bunch of Oak creators. 00:22:26.930 --> 00:22:27.350 Giovanna Oak. 00:22:31.610 --> 00:22:33.750 And they're nefariously creating Oak. 00:22:33.770 --> 00:22:35.430 Jess Oak and Jill. 00:22:37.430 --> 00:22:38.310 And the Oak. 00:22:41.150 --> 00:22:42.470 And wah, the folk. 00:22:43.730 --> 00:22:44.690 We gotta end this. 00:22:45.050 --> 00:22:45.670 Please. 00:22:45.910 --> 00:22:46.490 Your turn. 00:22:46.510 --> 00:22:47.290 Please go. 00:22:47.970 --> 00:22:48.990 End of craving. 00:22:49.130 --> 00:22:49.550 Anyway. 00:22:49.570 --> 00:22:50.330 It's satisfied. 00:22:50.350 --> 00:22:51.970 This is the perfect anime. 00:22:51.990 --> 00:22:53.290 It is the perfect anime. 00:22:53.430 --> 00:22:57.350 Speaking of perfect pieces of media, I recently saw... 00:22:58.930 --> 00:23:02.090 I recently saw Portrait of a Lady on Fire. 00:23:02.110 --> 00:23:09.770 I want you to know that I cut about 10 minutes of me talking about Portrait of Lady on Fire out of the last episode. 00:23:09.790 --> 00:23:10.730 I don't know why you did. 00:23:10.970 --> 00:23:14.910 Because it wasn't relevant and it made the best part come quicker. 00:23:15.050 --> 00:23:16.690 But this is all going in now. 00:23:16.950 --> 00:23:17.570 Hell yeah. 00:23:17.590 --> 00:23:19.610 The thing that there is to say is I adored this movie. 00:23:19.630 --> 00:23:20.710 Yeah, is that it? 00:23:20.730 --> 00:23:21.730 It made me cry. 00:23:21.750 --> 00:23:22.610 It is beautiful. 00:23:22.970 --> 00:23:26.110 This is not the specific craving, there's a more specific craving. 00:23:26.250 --> 00:23:28.450 It's such a good movie, please go watch it. 00:23:28.810 --> 00:23:29.970 It's an incredible movie. 00:23:30.030 --> 00:23:33.150 If you get the chance to see it somehow, go see it. 00:23:33.290 --> 00:23:35.310 You know, when the blu-ray comes out, get that shit. 00:23:35.330 --> 00:23:36.310 It's gorgeous. 00:23:36.330 --> 00:23:36.970 It's wonderful. 00:23:37.150 --> 00:23:39.530 There is a specific scene in it. 00:23:39.570 --> 00:23:40.930 There's so many scenes. 00:23:40.950 --> 00:23:53.990 There's so many specific scenes, but there's like a specific moment in it, which has a mirror balanced on one of their crotches and the other person can see their face in it. 00:23:54.210 --> 00:23:59.930 This is super interesting to me because I've seen this used twice before. 00:23:59.950 --> 00:24:05.950 And as far as I can tell, it seems to be a reference to a specific photograph from the 1980s. 00:24:05.970 --> 00:24:12.990 But as far as I know, the three pieces of media that have used this device are A Fantastic Woman, another incredible movie. 00:24:13.330 --> 00:24:16.410 I don't remember that in that movie. 00:24:16.430 --> 00:24:25.130 So there is a scene where Marina, who is the main character, is looking down at her crotch where there is a mirror covering up whatever. 00:24:25.150 --> 00:24:25.650 Oh, okay. 00:24:25.670 --> 00:24:26.170 Covering her crotch. 00:24:26.190 --> 00:24:26.950 I can't remember that. 00:24:27.770 --> 00:24:34.870 The exact same shot is used in Dirty Computer, Janelle Monae's album in the music video for Django Jane. 00:24:35.190 --> 00:24:38.390 This is used in those two, and then it's used in Portrait of a Lady on Fire. 00:24:38.510 --> 00:24:39.830 And there's also some- 00:24:39.850 --> 00:24:42.370 And probably a bunch of other media we are not familiar with. 00:24:42.570 --> 00:24:44.010 I was Googling around, actually. 00:24:44.490 --> 00:24:50.270 I was Googling around, and as far as I can tell, these seem to be three of the few pieces of media that like- 00:24:50.270 --> 00:24:52.030 What were your Google searches? 00:24:52.350 --> 00:24:53.510 Crotch mirror. 00:24:53.570 --> 00:24:53.950 Yes! 00:24:55.110 --> 00:24:57.170 It's like mirror crotch shot. 00:24:57.230 --> 00:24:57.570 Nope. 00:25:03.490 --> 00:25:07.530 Um, let me, let me, um, can I just look at my history? 00:25:07.550 --> 00:25:08.750 Here's my Google searches. 00:25:08.990 --> 00:25:10.650 Mirror over vagina shot. 00:25:10.990 --> 00:25:16.590 Mirror over crotch, mirror over crotch movie, mirror over crotch movies. 00:25:16.850 --> 00:25:26.030 Anyway, the point is you've proven that you did your, you did a little bit of research and I'm craving understanding of the meaning. 00:25:27.030 --> 00:25:31.350 Like not even just the meaning, I mean, are they all referencing? 00:25:31.410 --> 00:25:33.510 Like, is there a chain of references here? 00:25:33.530 --> 00:25:35.230 Do they all come to these independently? 00:25:35.550 --> 00:25:37.810 Is this like people seeing each other's movies? 00:25:37.830 --> 00:25:39.790 Is it like, is this a trend now? 00:25:39.810 --> 00:25:41.170 Are we going to see more of this? 00:25:41.550 --> 00:25:44.250 This shot, for whatever reason, it delights me a lot. 00:25:44.270 --> 00:25:53.070 I'm unfamiliar with the Janelle Monae one, but I feel like the Fantastic Woman and Portrait of a Lady on Fire shots are super different. 00:25:53.090 --> 00:25:53.650 They're extremely different. 00:25:53.670 --> 00:26:06.470 In the fact that the Fantastic Woman shot is, it feels like it's about relating to your genitals, but like you see yourself in them, but you at the same time want to distance yourself. 00:26:07.590 --> 00:26:09.870 And there's also this specific meaning in that one. 00:26:09.890 --> 00:26:13.310 That's the only time that you see her naked in any way. 00:26:13.330 --> 00:26:21.290 Like you don't see, at no point in Fantastic Woman do you see what genitals that character has, which is great. 00:26:21.410 --> 00:26:39.170 I think in Portrait of a Lady on Fire, I don't know if it's any deeper than it's gay because like her face is in her, like how do you more explicitly make a sapphic movie than yeah, her face is in her crotch. 00:26:39.190 --> 00:26:43.710 Yeah, the Genome One I will say comes in Jane or Jane, which is a fine song. 00:26:43.730 --> 00:26:48.430 There's a lot of vaginal imagery in that song and a lot of like talk about vaginas in that song. 00:26:48.530 --> 00:26:53.470 So it's almost certainly more to do with like power of the vagina and like stuff like that. 00:26:53.570 --> 00:27:08.070 But this is my question is like how does this thing that as far as I can tell only comes from like a 1981 self-portrait like photo by this obscure artist who does not have a Wikipedia page? 00:27:08.690 --> 00:27:13.270 Like that's the level of obscure and like how does that become? 00:27:13.690 --> 00:27:15.070 Is that the reference there? 00:27:15.230 --> 00:27:23.810 All three of these most recent references are within the queer sphere in three very different pieces of media that are using that shot for very different meanings. 00:27:23.970 --> 00:27:26.150 And I just need to know what it means, Clair. 00:27:26.290 --> 00:27:29.910 No, like this is what I mean when there's like multiple different meanings. 00:27:29.950 --> 00:27:31.530 I don't think there's one meaning. 00:27:31.550 --> 00:27:34.550 So I think we can attribute a meaning to it. 00:27:34.790 --> 00:27:35.210 Okay. 00:27:35.350 --> 00:27:36.270 What is the meaning? 00:27:36.290 --> 00:27:37.110 Are they related? 00:27:37.130 --> 00:27:39.390 We can tie them together with our meaning. 00:27:39.410 --> 00:27:39.930 You're right. 00:27:39.950 --> 00:27:40.390 You're right. 00:27:40.430 --> 00:27:41.650 I think the meaning. 00:27:41.810 --> 00:27:42.450 What's the meaning? 00:27:42.630 --> 00:27:45.170 Is that there's a whole world inside of your genitals. 00:27:46.530 --> 00:27:47.110 Of course. 00:27:47.730 --> 00:27:50.490 Your genitals have a world inside of them. 00:27:52.110 --> 00:27:59.210 If you look inside your genitals, there's a smaller civilization. 00:27:59.950 --> 00:28:01.770 It's sort of like, have you ever... 00:28:01.790 --> 00:28:04.090 This podcast is degraded. 00:28:04.110 --> 00:28:07.150 Have you ever read Horton Here's a Who? 00:28:07.170 --> 00:28:08.570 Jesus fucking Christ. 00:28:08.870 --> 00:28:10.850 It's sort of like that, but with genitals. 00:28:12.130 --> 00:28:13.930 There's an entire civilization. 00:28:13.950 --> 00:28:15.050 So you know the Grinch. 00:28:15.190 --> 00:28:17.870 You know how the whole world of the Grinch... 00:28:17.890 --> 00:28:19.510 The whole world is on a snowflake. 00:28:19.710 --> 00:28:22.550 But imagine if the whole world was in your genitals. 00:28:22.550 --> 00:28:29.970 I want to say the Grinch, if it weren't the thing that it is, would be an awful term for a vagina. 00:28:31.950 --> 00:28:32.870 Hey, what's your... 00:28:33.010 --> 00:28:34.530 So the new Grinch movie... 00:28:34.550 --> 00:28:36.070 Oh yeah, you never get your Grinchy? 00:28:36.090 --> 00:28:39.650 Just happens to take place in someone's genitals. 00:28:39.810 --> 00:28:45.050 And the main character's name is Grinch, because they're all named Grinch. 00:28:45.050 --> 00:28:47.110 And it's also sapphic. 00:28:47.910 --> 00:28:48.950 I mean, this is the thing. 00:28:49.210 --> 00:28:51.830 If straight people try to use this shot, I'll kill them. 00:28:51.890 --> 00:28:53.410 It's not for you. 00:28:54.090 --> 00:28:55.990 It's for the gays and the trans. 00:28:56.190 --> 00:28:56.930 And that's it. 00:28:57.030 --> 00:28:58.330 Yeah, it's absolutely... 00:28:58.350 --> 00:28:59.790 There's another whole world. 00:28:59.830 --> 00:29:03.170 And also you are replicated in that world, because it's a mirror, right? 00:29:03.190 --> 00:29:04.790 Of course, as we know, right? 00:29:04.810 --> 00:29:07.930 There is a smaller version of you inside your genitals. 00:29:10.370 --> 00:29:12.210 Oh no, I don't wanna go down that road. 00:29:12.530 --> 00:29:12.850 Really? 00:29:12.870 --> 00:29:15.790 There's a road in this conversation that you don't wanna go down? 00:29:15.970 --> 00:29:16.690 I feel like... 00:29:16.810 --> 00:29:20.310 Yeah, there's a lot of roads in this conversation that I don't wanna go down. 00:29:20.510 --> 00:29:25.750 There's a whole bunch of hiking paths before us, and they all have awful signs that... 00:29:25.770 --> 00:29:28.570 They all just say like, danger, do not... 00:29:28.590 --> 00:29:32.510 Danger, caution, cliff ahead, immediately in front of you. 00:29:33.270 --> 00:29:34.550 Okay, that's my meaning. 00:29:34.710 --> 00:29:41.230 There's a whole other world in your genitals, and your meaning, there's just a smaller version of yourself in your genitals. 00:29:44.110 --> 00:29:51.030 Which I think we can then combine using transitive properties to find the true meaning. 00:29:51.050 --> 00:29:53.810 There's a smaller version of yourself in another world. 00:29:54.890 --> 00:29:56.510 I just... 00:29:56.710 --> 00:29:59.830 Hang on, I've just been forced to consider the possibility. 00:30:00.050 --> 00:30:01.470 Now, I'm with you. 00:30:01.490 --> 00:30:02.970 I also... 00:30:03.030 --> 00:30:09.070 Imagine a whole other universe where everything is just 90% of the size. 00:30:11.490 --> 00:30:12.810 It's no different. 00:30:13.990 --> 00:30:17.250 Would they even know? 00:30:18.470 --> 00:30:20.710 Are we the 90% of the size? 00:30:21.290 --> 00:30:24.990 Maybe there's someone who's like bigger, but it's exactly the same. 00:30:25.010 --> 00:30:26.950 There's a bigger Salt Cravings out there. 00:30:26.970 --> 00:30:28.990 I just want you to know that. 00:30:29.010 --> 00:30:29.390 Great. 00:30:29.970 --> 00:30:32.430 I mean, my question then becomes... 00:30:32.650 --> 00:30:33.870 Do I want to go down this road? 00:30:34.950 --> 00:30:36.110 The thing that I want to... 00:30:36.390 --> 00:30:37.030 Cliff. 00:30:37.050 --> 00:30:42.850 The thing that I will say is, in Portrait of a Lady on Fire, it's not her seeing her own face in her journals. 00:30:42.870 --> 00:30:43.750 Oh my God. 00:30:44.110 --> 00:30:45.910 That's the thing that I'm gonna say? 00:30:46.370 --> 00:30:48.950 And I'm not saying there's anyone... 00:30:48.970 --> 00:30:53.170 There's a smaller version of your lover in your journals. 00:30:53.190 --> 00:30:58.170 Which I think is probably why Christians are so concerned with virginity. 00:30:58.190 --> 00:31:01.170 They're like, you don't want another person running around in a side view? 00:31:01.190 --> 00:31:02.490 So many people there already. 00:31:02.510 --> 00:31:03.850 I can't afford... 00:31:03.970 --> 00:31:06.170 Look, rent's going up every year. 00:31:08.630 --> 00:31:12.570 Are you fucking telling me that inside my genitals, there is capitalism? 00:31:13.350 --> 00:31:15.790 Are you telling me there is genital capitalism? 00:31:15.810 --> 00:31:17.250 I'm so sorry to tell you this. 00:31:17.590 --> 00:31:19.190 I cannot believe this. 00:31:20.570 --> 00:31:27.270 We literally can't go anywhere else with this, or we're going to get into even weirder territory than we're already in. 00:31:27.290 --> 00:31:28.330 So give me a craving. 00:31:29.590 --> 00:31:30.010 I need... 00:31:30.030 --> 00:31:32.530 I mean, do you have a last word on that one? 00:31:33.550 --> 00:31:36.510 Any last words about genital cells? 00:31:37.410 --> 00:31:39.310 You can be kin with your genital cells. 00:31:44.570 --> 00:31:45.470 I'm gonna kin... 00:31:45.590 --> 00:31:47.290 I'm gonna kin with your genitals. 00:31:47.690 --> 00:31:51.130 I'm gonna kin myself. 00:31:53.390 --> 00:31:57.450 I dress as my genital cell for this convention because this is my kin. 00:32:00.810 --> 00:32:02.390 What's your Halloween costume? 00:32:02.410 --> 00:32:03.790 Oh, this is my genital cell. 00:32:05.930 --> 00:32:10.430 Fucking yourself, also known as kidding yourself. 00:32:13.870 --> 00:32:14.830 Yeah, that's it. 00:32:14.850 --> 00:32:15.790 Those were the last words. 00:32:16.770 --> 00:32:18.350 Give me a craving, please. 00:32:18.370 --> 00:32:19.170 Get us out of here. 00:32:19.530 --> 00:32:20.530 Please let us leave. 00:32:20.690 --> 00:32:26.990 Since the first craving was not a craving I expected to do, I'm gonna do another craving I wasn't expecting to do. 00:32:27.010 --> 00:32:30.290 I have the craving sometimes. 00:32:30.650 --> 00:32:34.090 I crave like the super power to detect lies. 00:32:35.450 --> 00:32:36.370 Telling lies? 00:32:36.490 --> 00:32:37.210 No, Papa. 00:32:37.270 --> 00:32:37.630 No. 00:32:41.010 --> 00:32:42.710 Your genital cell can't lie. 00:32:45.490 --> 00:32:49.330 There's only truth in your genitals. 00:32:50.870 --> 00:32:52.190 Not always true. 00:32:53.050 --> 00:32:56.570 Is this just a simple like is this true or is this not true? 00:32:56.810 --> 00:32:59.090 Or is this like a sliding scale? 00:32:59.110 --> 00:33:04.490 Is this or is this like specifically like this is sarcasm versus this is an outright fucking lie? 00:33:04.690 --> 00:33:07.410 Like I think sarcasm is fine. 00:33:07.650 --> 00:33:10.870 I can always laugh about it later if I take it seriously. 00:33:10.890 --> 00:33:12.850 And then people like, I was just like just out. 00:33:12.850 --> 00:33:14.430 That was not being serious. 00:33:14.530 --> 00:33:14.810 Yeah. 00:33:14.810 --> 00:33:17.230 I'm like, oh, haha, egg on my face. 00:33:17.250 --> 00:33:18.210 Move past that. 00:33:18.210 --> 00:33:18.450 Yeah. 00:33:18.550 --> 00:33:22.270 If someone's lying to me, like that's hard. 00:33:23.710 --> 00:33:25.270 I don't know how to move forward with that. 00:33:25.290 --> 00:33:27.390 Imagine if someone just came up to you. 00:33:27.410 --> 00:33:29.770 I can't even think of a lie right now. 00:33:30.190 --> 00:33:35.030 Imagine if someone told you that you can't just dress as your genital self to a con. 00:33:35.050 --> 00:33:38.750 You have to actually come up with a real cosplay. 00:33:39.510 --> 00:33:42.150 Get some fucking creativity from your life. 00:33:42.170 --> 00:33:45.590 That's a lie because they don't force you to cosplay at conventions. 00:33:47.270 --> 00:33:50.870 There are two things that immediately came to my mind when discussing lying. 00:33:51.090 --> 00:33:54.210 First, are you going to take me into the philosophy zone? 00:33:54.230 --> 00:33:56.130 No, I'm taking you into the politics zone. 00:33:56.150 --> 00:33:56.750 I'm sorry. 00:33:56.770 --> 00:34:00.350 There's a group called PolitiFact. 00:34:00.590 --> 00:34:17.210 I have some qualms with them about what they consider to be lies and not lies sometimes, but they have a really interesting type of sliding scale on lies, which is true, mostly true, half true, mostly false, false, and then pants on fire, which is like the most false. 00:34:17.410 --> 00:34:18.350 Great. 00:34:18.510 --> 00:34:21.090 I like how there's something more false than false. 00:34:21.370 --> 00:34:22.530 That's politics, baby. 00:34:22.730 --> 00:34:23.910 I hate this. 00:34:23.930 --> 00:34:26.030 I want to leave this zone as quickly as possible. 00:34:26.050 --> 00:34:28.070 Anyway, my point is like- 00:34:28.090 --> 00:34:29.730 I'm getting in the car, please drive. 00:34:29.850 --> 00:34:33.370 Yeah, they will use these on like different politicians' statements. 00:34:33.590 --> 00:34:34.630 I'm not endorsing them. 00:34:34.650 --> 00:34:41.930 What I'm saying is their system of telling what is a truth versus a lie seems really useful for the thing that we're gonna make. 00:34:41.950 --> 00:34:42.410 Are we there yet? 00:34:42.590 --> 00:34:47.830 We are there, we're out of there because now we're into the tabletop game zone, which is I'm just, we're just pulling up. 00:34:47.850 --> 00:34:49.590 It's a drive-through. 00:34:49.590 --> 00:35:00.470 We're just looking at Forged in the Dark games about the one skill in them that a specific class can have, which is you always know when someone is lying to you, which is what you're describing is what you want. 00:35:00.490 --> 00:35:00.850 Yeah. 00:35:00.870 --> 00:35:03.950 You want to be a Blaze in the Dark character is what you're saying to me right now. 00:35:04.050 --> 00:35:05.950 Or a Skemin villainy character or a beam saber character. 00:35:07.210 --> 00:35:08.290 Or some other Forged in the Dark. 00:35:21.930 --> 00:35:23.250 I am the type of person I am. 00:35:23.690 --> 00:35:24.850 I simply want to- 00:35:24.870 --> 00:35:26.150 No, I can't, I can't. 00:35:26.150 --> 00:35:27.130 We can't. 00:35:30.170 --> 00:35:35.010 You know there's a slur that you can reclaim that we would be able to reclaim. 00:35:35.030 --> 00:35:38.150 Accidentally, but also funny because I am. 00:35:38.310 --> 00:35:46.050 Anyways, the joke was I want to merely be a fragment of somebody's imagination. 00:35:46.050 --> 00:35:48.730 And then I could start knowing if people are lying to me. 00:35:48.750 --> 00:35:50.330 So you mean like a figment? 00:35:50.330 --> 00:35:51.050 Figment. 00:35:51.070 --> 00:35:53.130 That was definitely the word I meant to say. 00:35:53.150 --> 00:35:56.410 There were a lot of words that definitely were said. 00:35:56.570 --> 00:35:56.970 Yeah. 00:35:57.010 --> 00:35:57.470 Yeah. 00:35:57.690 --> 00:35:58.610 Jesus Christ. 00:35:58.870 --> 00:36:01.890 This is, can I just say this podcast is a fucking mess. 00:36:02.770 --> 00:36:04.350 I am having so much fun. 00:36:06.090 --> 00:36:06.890 So what you're saying is- 00:36:06.910 --> 00:36:08.970 Coming back to the real, the real problem. 00:36:08.990 --> 00:36:09.910 So do you want like- 00:36:10.170 --> 00:36:11.070 I don't want, okay. 00:36:11.090 --> 00:36:14.450 Do you want to be a figment of someone's imagination or do you want to be like- 00:36:14.450 --> 00:36:15.110 I just want to know. 00:36:15.130 --> 00:36:16.650 Do you want a direct line into their brain? 00:36:17.170 --> 00:36:18.870 No, I don't want to read their thoughts. 00:36:18.890 --> 00:36:19.850 That sounds hard. 00:36:20.190 --> 00:36:21.490 And also kind of invasive. 00:36:21.490 --> 00:36:23.730 Yeah, that's how, like I don't want this to be invasive. 00:36:23.810 --> 00:36:24.610 I know what I want. 00:36:24.730 --> 00:36:29.750 Do you remember those like staples buttons where you hit it and it's like, that was easy? 00:36:29.770 --> 00:36:31.150 Yeah, I remember those. 00:36:31.270 --> 00:36:35.710 I want one that when someone lies to me, it's just like, that's a lie. 00:36:35.870 --> 00:36:40.390 Or, oh, have you read Saga? 00:36:40.590 --> 00:36:41.710 Yeah, I've read Saga. 00:36:41.730 --> 00:36:42.790 With lying cat? 00:36:42.850 --> 00:36:43.550 Lying cat. 00:36:43.570 --> 00:36:44.590 I want lying cat. 00:36:44.690 --> 00:36:46.470 Let's just make a lying cat. 00:36:46.490 --> 00:36:47.650 I just want a lying cat. 00:36:47.670 --> 00:36:50.890 Okay, so we're gonna have to take May in from some experimental. 00:36:50.910 --> 00:36:51.950 Done, no. 00:36:52.270 --> 00:36:54.810 What can we improve on with lying cat? 00:36:55.210 --> 00:36:59.570 Lying cat is a cat that says lying every time somebody lies, just for context. 00:36:59.590 --> 00:37:02.690 Yeah, it's a character in Saga, a super duper great cat. 00:37:03.030 --> 00:37:08.630 I think it has to be able to say, as I said with what PolitiFact does, the degree of lying. 00:37:08.650 --> 00:37:11.610 God, I can't believe we got past, I got in the car. 00:37:11.630 --> 00:37:14.250 You promised me we'd get the happy meal and leave. 00:37:14.370 --> 00:37:15.550 This is the happy meal. 00:37:15.570 --> 00:37:17.290 The happy meal is the spectrum. 00:37:18.110 --> 00:37:19.110 The spectrum meal. 00:37:19.190 --> 00:37:21.390 In this spectrum meal, it's a spectrum about lying. 00:37:21.410 --> 00:37:25.010 And so it can just break down more detailed. 00:37:25.110 --> 00:37:30.890 Not only will it tell you what the lie is, but it'll also tell you what the truth is. 00:37:31.870 --> 00:37:33.250 If someone lies to you. 00:37:33.350 --> 00:37:33.990 I don't wanna lie. 00:37:34.050 --> 00:37:38.870 If someone's not ready to tell me the truth, I don't want to force them to tell me the truth. 00:37:38.990 --> 00:37:46.110 I just wanna know if they're lying so that I can be like, cool, when you're ready to tell me the truth, I'll be here, friend. 00:37:46.130 --> 00:37:46.730 That's fair. 00:37:46.910 --> 00:37:51.690 Cause there are definitely situations in which it is ethical or okay to lie. 00:37:51.770 --> 00:37:52.650 Yes. 00:37:52.890 --> 00:37:53.470 So then simply- 00:37:53.490 --> 00:37:54.730 Now the problem with this is I could never- 00:37:54.750 --> 00:37:56.130 We need a cat that has nuance. 00:37:56.170 --> 00:37:57.930 I couldn't take it into work. 00:37:58.350 --> 00:38:00.910 The thing about bosses is that they're always lying. 00:38:01.330 --> 00:38:02.150 Maybe you need- 00:38:02.170 --> 00:38:04.250 It's this weird canning. 00:38:04.270 --> 00:38:08.310 When your boss can, you automatically start lying all the time. 00:38:09.730 --> 00:38:10.850 Shut up about kidding. 00:38:10.970 --> 00:38:12.130 Shut up about kidding. 00:38:13.250 --> 00:38:15.630 I think like what you need to have is a pin, right? 00:38:15.650 --> 00:38:17.230 Cause a pin is something you can take on and off. 00:38:17.390 --> 00:38:19.110 And it has that button on it. 00:38:19.130 --> 00:38:20.410 It's a pin with a button on it. 00:38:20.430 --> 00:38:20.890 And it- 00:38:21.090 --> 00:38:22.030 Oh my God. 00:38:22.050 --> 00:38:23.690 Why aren't button pins a thing? 00:38:24.010 --> 00:38:24.710 They should be. 00:38:24.730 --> 00:38:26.710 They're literally called buttons sometimes. 00:38:26.950 --> 00:38:27.750 Oh my God. 00:38:27.810 --> 00:38:28.450 Wow. 00:38:28.530 --> 00:38:29.890 Also, why does it need to be a button? 00:38:29.910 --> 00:38:30.650 Are you pressing it? 00:38:31.790 --> 00:38:33.550 Isn't it just saying it when there's a lie? 00:38:33.950 --> 00:38:34.510 Yeah. 00:38:34.650 --> 00:38:37.550 But now I just want to think about stimming pins. 00:38:38.090 --> 00:38:39.350 Stim, stims. 00:38:39.590 --> 00:38:40.070 Stims. 00:38:40.190 --> 00:38:40.650 Stims. 00:38:41.370 --> 00:38:43.690 That's cute and good and extremely, I love that. 00:38:43.850 --> 00:38:45.590 I'll take, I'll take 10. 00:38:45.690 --> 00:38:47.210 I'll take 10 stims. 00:38:47.430 --> 00:38:47.690 Yep. 00:38:47.690 --> 00:38:48.590 I'm stinking. 00:38:50.810 --> 00:38:52.690 What did I just say about Kim? 00:38:53.130 --> 00:38:54.630 A pin's a good idea. 00:38:54.650 --> 00:38:57.350 Something, maybe like a little thing you put in your ear. 00:38:57.870 --> 00:38:58.770 So it's just for you. 00:38:59.530 --> 00:39:00.750 Oh yeah, headphones. 00:39:01.030 --> 00:39:06.410 So the biggest thing that I don't like about Lion Cat is Lion Cat just says lying every time someone lies. 00:39:07.050 --> 00:39:08.330 I want something more subtle. 00:39:08.430 --> 00:39:12.470 Imagine like a bird just starts tripping every time someone lies. 00:39:13.990 --> 00:39:17.630 There's like a specific tell that you can recognize. 00:39:17.630 --> 00:39:18.350 Yeah. 00:39:18.570 --> 00:39:20.610 Cause like people have tells when they lie. 00:39:20.630 --> 00:39:20.990 Yeah. 00:39:21.010 --> 00:39:23.710 This is you being like, well, I can't always tell. 00:39:23.810 --> 00:39:25.390 Everyone's tell is now the same. 00:39:25.410 --> 00:39:29.250 Everyone's tell is now the same, and they're only knowable to you. 00:39:29.270 --> 00:39:29.530 Oh, I know. 00:39:29.750 --> 00:39:30.050 What? 00:39:30.070 --> 00:39:36.030 We just gotta, if you ever lie, just wink with only your right eye three times. 00:39:36.690 --> 00:39:37.030 Great. 00:39:37.050 --> 00:39:38.910 What if people can't wink with their right eye? 00:39:38.930 --> 00:39:40.730 Then they can never lie. 00:39:40.750 --> 00:39:41.170 We can- 00:39:41.190 --> 00:39:41.590 Of course. 00:39:41.730 --> 00:39:43.390 We can invent a thing. 00:39:43.490 --> 00:39:47.690 It's like glasses, but what it does is just manually winks for you. 00:39:51.070 --> 00:39:52.670 No, no, they're not glasses. 00:39:52.710 --> 00:39:54.670 It's like bringing back the monocle. 00:39:54.910 --> 00:39:55.330 Love it. 00:39:55.370 --> 00:39:59.910 But it's the Winkocle, monwinkle, monwinkle. 00:39:59.930 --> 00:40:02.730 So like people have to wear this in order for you to tell that they're lying. 00:40:02.770 --> 00:40:04.030 Only if they can't wink. 00:40:04.710 --> 00:40:06.790 They don't have to, unless they can't wink. 00:40:06.810 --> 00:40:09.790 So wait, people are legally required to wink when they're lying? 00:40:09.810 --> 00:40:10.710 Is this the thing? 00:40:10.730 --> 00:40:15.130 Again, I don't wanna go into, I just want people to be like, yeah, I'm up for it. 00:40:15.130 --> 00:40:17.490 Let's externalize, okay? 00:40:17.630 --> 00:40:23.430 Wait, you can't just be like, I just want everyone to agree to it by force, but not forcefully. 00:40:23.450 --> 00:40:24.270 No, not by force. 00:40:25.090 --> 00:40:26.230 Can we all just agree? 00:40:26.610 --> 00:40:28.330 I just, everyone just has to agree. 00:40:28.350 --> 00:40:31.510 Look, look, if we're just going, it's not by force. 00:40:32.650 --> 00:40:34.590 Clair is winking three times. 00:40:34.650 --> 00:40:36.870 With my left eye, not with my right. 00:40:36.890 --> 00:40:39.350 You'd know this if you agreed with me. 00:40:41.710 --> 00:40:45.410 So, everyone will agree to it, not by force. 00:40:45.430 --> 00:40:46.350 No, not by force. 00:40:47.170 --> 00:40:48.930 Please, please. 00:40:49.230 --> 00:40:50.550 But they'll just agree to it. 00:40:51.570 --> 00:41:03.270 Alternatively, we could just have an external tell of some kind, like the bird chirping, especially because if everyone now has their own personal chirping bird, as soon as someone lies, ten birds start chirping. 00:41:03.590 --> 00:41:08.250 What an, I just want an actual bird now that just chirps when someone's lying. 00:41:09.250 --> 00:41:10.630 This sounds like some like- 00:41:10.650 --> 00:41:11.590 And it just sits on your shoulder. 00:41:11.610 --> 00:41:13.930 Yeah, that's like some fantasy- 00:41:13.950 --> 00:41:14.450 Pirate. 00:41:14.490 --> 00:41:16.350 Fantasy pirate shit or some like- 00:41:16.370 --> 00:41:17.310 That's actually just a familiar- 00:41:17.610 --> 00:41:18.170 That's a familiar. 00:41:18.730 --> 00:41:23.770 Yeah, that's just a good character for that like Blades of the Dark character where you always know why someone's lying. 00:41:23.790 --> 00:41:24.270 That's really good. 00:41:24.290 --> 00:41:25.850 There's always just a bird on your shoulder. 00:41:25.870 --> 00:41:28.570 Hey, we need to write that down for future campaign or for a character- 00:41:28.850 --> 00:41:31.470 For a character of one of the four campaigns we're in together. 00:41:31.490 --> 00:41:35.710 I've written it down in this podcast and it's going to be immortalized. 00:41:35.770 --> 00:41:36.970 Great, love it, perfect. 00:41:36.990 --> 00:41:38.470 There you go, just get you a bird. 00:41:39.330 --> 00:41:40.230 What's your bird's name? 00:41:40.710 --> 00:41:41.050 Kin. 00:41:41.070 --> 00:41:44.390 Okay, tell me other things about your bird. 00:41:45.330 --> 00:41:48.070 My bird is Genital Kin and also... 00:41:48.370 --> 00:41:53.750 Please, please, why are you doing this? 00:41:53.770 --> 00:41:56.450 My bird has a mirror on its crotch at all times. 00:41:56.670 --> 00:41:59.090 I've glued a mirror to my bird's crotch. 00:41:59.570 --> 00:42:01.330 I think that's animal abuse. 00:42:01.670 --> 00:42:02.910 The bird likes it. 00:42:03.670 --> 00:42:05.030 It's my fantasy bird. 00:42:05.250 --> 00:42:07.930 I'm allowed, it's my fantasy bird, Brianna. 00:42:07.950 --> 00:42:08.990 It isn't real. 00:42:09.190 --> 00:42:11.010 This bird is just made of mirrors. 00:42:11.430 --> 00:42:12.330 It's a mirror bird. 00:42:12.910 --> 00:42:13.850 What's your craving? 00:42:15.870 --> 00:42:18.850 Well, that was a mighty fine invention. 00:42:19.310 --> 00:42:24.670 And the thing is about inventions, it sounds like you had this line up. 00:42:24.690 --> 00:42:26.330 It didn't matter what we like said. 00:42:26.350 --> 00:42:28.210 That was a mighty fine invention. 00:42:28.450 --> 00:42:29.690 What did we invent? 00:42:29.870 --> 00:42:34.130 We talked about birds made of mirrors and like genital canning. 00:42:36.730 --> 00:42:37.410 Let's talk. 00:42:37.430 --> 00:42:38.750 What is your invention? 00:42:38.770 --> 00:42:39.630 What are you craving? 00:42:39.770 --> 00:42:44.550 So back in olden times, it was a lot easier to invent stuff. 00:42:44.590 --> 00:42:46.290 Now it's really hard to invent stuff. 00:42:46.510 --> 00:42:50.870 And most people who invent stuff just invent it for capitalist reasons. 00:42:50.890 --> 00:42:59.190 And they're like, oh, I'm going to invent a new app where we make people like get paid shitty wages to do like basic work. 00:42:59.550 --> 00:43:05.090 It was way easier to invent things back in the day when things weren't invented yet. 00:43:05.170 --> 00:43:11.770 Now a lot of things have been invented and it's a lot harder to have things to your name that you invented, right? 00:43:12.390 --> 00:43:14.950 Like everyone's got a call. 00:43:14.990 --> 00:43:18.390 It's a good like thing that is named after the person who invented it. 00:43:18.450 --> 00:43:19.150 Kleenex. 00:43:20.890 --> 00:43:21.390 Is it? 00:43:21.410 --> 00:43:21.810 Dr. 00:43:21.830 --> 00:43:22.470 Kleenex. 00:43:22.890 --> 00:43:24.190 I don't think that that's true. 00:43:24.210 --> 00:43:24.630 Dr. 00:43:24.650 --> 00:43:25.090 Kleenex. 00:43:25.850 --> 00:43:28.390 I was always, like always had a cold. 00:43:30.570 --> 00:43:31.230 Sure. 00:43:32.090 --> 00:43:35.070 The fact that the company Bell is named Bell. 00:43:35.610 --> 00:43:36.710 Alexander Graham Bell. 00:43:36.730 --> 00:43:37.590 Oh my God. 00:43:37.610 --> 00:43:40.030 I assume that's the etymology of that. 00:43:40.110 --> 00:43:40.910 I guess so. 00:43:41.790 --> 00:43:42.490 Yeah, it sucks. 00:43:42.630 --> 00:43:47.710 But it would be cool to have something named after me that I invented because I invented it. 00:43:47.730 --> 00:43:51.510 I mean, all of Capitalism named their wage after you, price. 00:43:52.230 --> 00:43:52.730 Sure did. 00:43:53.030 --> 00:43:54.870 I want to be remembered for better things. 00:43:56.870 --> 00:43:58.450 Well, that's the price of living. 00:43:59.790 --> 00:44:04.070 Ross, your last name is Ross. 00:44:04.090 --> 00:44:06.050 Do you get the joke, Clair? 00:44:06.630 --> 00:44:08.110 It's your last name. 00:44:08.390 --> 00:44:11.150 So your last name is Ross. 00:44:11.390 --> 00:44:12.650 And that's a word. 00:44:12.670 --> 00:44:14.070 It's a name. 00:44:14.250 --> 00:44:16.510 This joke is making me cross. 00:44:16.530 --> 00:44:19.210 They named that one dude from Friends After You. 00:44:19.230 --> 00:44:23.030 Ross, they named Ross after you. 00:44:23.050 --> 00:44:29.010 Ross after you, fuck you. 00:44:29.030 --> 00:44:30.490 Those are some good price jokes, thank you. 00:44:31.170 --> 00:44:35.590 It's the price of doing business with me. 00:44:36.190 --> 00:44:37.450 It's the price of getting- 00:44:37.470 --> 00:44:41.310 It's easy when you just have to make one pun over and over again. 00:44:41.850 --> 00:44:44.410 Can we just invent some things and name them after us? 00:44:45.110 --> 00:44:46.550 And like make them cool things? 00:44:47.050 --> 00:44:48.070 Cause I don't wanna like- 00:44:48.090 --> 00:44:49.210 Well, that's a restriction. 00:44:49.250 --> 00:44:51.330 You're right, like I don't wanna invent an app. 00:44:51.490 --> 00:44:53.930 I don't want them to make a new Uber. 00:44:53.970 --> 00:44:56.030 What if we invent a new kind of air? 00:44:56.390 --> 00:44:57.890 Okay, I'm in. 00:44:58.190 --> 00:45:00.210 Tell me about Price Ross Air. 00:45:01.510 --> 00:45:06.230 So I think it's just like a lot of carbon, but like gaseous carbon? 00:45:06.750 --> 00:45:09.030 Isn't that just, is that just carbon gas? 00:45:12.810 --> 00:45:14.230 But we're marketing it. 00:45:14.790 --> 00:45:16.670 Why do we have to market the invention? 00:45:16.690 --> 00:45:17.490 You know people- 00:45:17.550 --> 00:45:20.230 That's how inventions are made under capitalism. 00:45:20.570 --> 00:45:23.930 It doesn't have to, you're not listening to me. 00:45:24.650 --> 00:45:26.850 I just want to invent cool things. 00:45:26.870 --> 00:45:28.450 We don't have to sell them. 00:45:28.490 --> 00:45:30.930 Can we reinvent something? 00:45:31.130 --> 00:45:31.590 Great. 00:45:31.790 --> 00:45:33.390 Let's make the wheel too. 00:45:34.850 --> 00:45:37.810 The Price Wheel, the Ross Wheel, the Price Ross Wheel. 00:45:37.830 --> 00:45:38.850 What's the Price Wheel? 00:45:39.110 --> 00:45:39.750 Price Wheel. 00:45:39.770 --> 00:45:41.670 Is it the wheel they use on prices, right? 00:45:42.070 --> 00:45:42.370 No. 00:45:43.010 --> 00:45:43.510 Shut up. 00:45:45.010 --> 00:45:47.570 What I'm thinking, circles are cool and all. 00:45:48.790 --> 00:45:50.750 Circles are cool, but what if? 00:45:50.870 --> 00:45:53.070 But don't you think they're a little bit boring? 00:45:53.430 --> 00:45:54.850 What if you had a better circle? 00:45:55.310 --> 00:45:56.490 What is a better circle? 00:45:56.550 --> 00:46:02.010 So a better circle is actually a super dupe. 00:46:02.030 --> 00:46:03.470 Like it's, it's. 00:46:03.970 --> 00:46:04.730 Yeah, go on. 00:46:04.930 --> 00:46:05.310 What? 00:46:05.710 --> 00:46:07.810 I'm trying to think of how to describe this shape. 00:46:08.190 --> 00:46:10.230 It's some sort of gone. 00:46:10.250 --> 00:46:10.590 Is it a sphere? 00:46:10.610 --> 00:46:11.630 It's some sort of gone. 00:46:11.730 --> 00:46:13.470 Okay, how many sides does it have? 00:46:13.610 --> 00:46:18.450 That's the problem, the problem is I think it might have something like 300 sides. 00:46:19.510 --> 00:46:22.710 They're like, they're all distinctive sides, but they're so small. 00:46:22.730 --> 00:46:24.750 So it's approaching a circle, but it's not a circle. 00:46:24.770 --> 00:46:25.770 It's approaching a circle. 00:46:26.030 --> 00:46:27.850 It works great as a wheel, right? 00:46:27.870 --> 00:46:30.110 Breaks better, cause it's flat. 00:46:30.530 --> 00:46:30.710 Okay. 00:46:31.150 --> 00:46:32.710 I don't know that it does, but it does. 00:46:33.390 --> 00:46:36.450 I mean, it would probably break better. 00:46:36.810 --> 00:46:39.770 Yeah. 00:46:39.990 --> 00:46:41.590 It would get, it would break. 00:46:41.610 --> 00:46:42.870 It would stop quicker. 00:46:43.890 --> 00:46:46.770 It would take less force to make that stop turning. 00:46:46.790 --> 00:46:47.430 Uh-huh. 00:46:47.450 --> 00:46:47.890 Uh-huh. 00:46:48.130 --> 00:46:49.370 So it's better. 00:46:49.830 --> 00:46:52.290 And Trentagon or something like that. 00:46:52.510 --> 00:46:53.350 Probably. 00:46:53.650 --> 00:46:55.190 Trincentagon, I don't know. 00:46:55.350 --> 00:46:55.990 I like it. 00:46:56.030 --> 00:46:59.970 There is almost certainly a name for it already, but it's called a Trincentagon now. 00:46:59.990 --> 00:47:03.070 It's a Trincentagon, a Trincentagon, and it's the price wheel. 00:47:03.330 --> 00:47:04.590 Trincentagon price. 00:47:04.910 --> 00:47:05.950 Trincentagon price. 00:47:05.970 --> 00:47:06.650 That's my name. 00:47:08.090 --> 00:47:12.130 Hi, my name's Clair, and my name's Trincentagon, and today on Salt Cravings. 00:47:13.070 --> 00:47:14.070 Tell me about the Ross Wheel. 00:47:14.270 --> 00:47:15.650 I think it's just one side. 00:47:20.390 --> 00:47:24.290 Explain a little, can you explain a little more about your one? 00:47:24.610 --> 00:47:30.710 Yeah, so you know how the Trincentagon price wheel has 30 sides and circles have infinite sides? 00:47:31.810 --> 00:47:33.690 The Ross Wheel has one side. 00:47:33.710 --> 00:47:36.450 Okay, how does that work? 00:47:36.950 --> 00:47:40.850 Well, you just remove the sides until they're only one side. 00:47:41.490 --> 00:47:42.490 You'll always have two sides. 00:47:42.510 --> 00:47:43.690 Actually, you'll always have like four. 00:47:44.050 --> 00:47:46.090 Not with the Ross Wheel, you'll only have one. 00:47:46.190 --> 00:47:48.930 It's like, look, it's four sides for the price of one. 00:47:49.390 --> 00:47:50.870 Two sides, you just have two sides. 00:47:51.150 --> 00:47:52.150 No, it's one side. 00:47:52.170 --> 00:47:57.290 Okay, how are you ensuring that it only has a one side? 00:47:57.510 --> 00:48:11.190 Have you ever played a video game, have you ever played a video game where the shader on something is only in one direction, which is most video games, because that's how shaders work. 00:48:11.470 --> 00:48:15.630 Where if you like look above and you look down at water, there is water. 00:48:15.650 --> 00:48:18.010 But if you go below the water and look up, there is nothing. 00:48:18.650 --> 00:48:24.570 Zelda Breath of the Wild has this, most things in video games are only like rendered on one side. 00:48:24.810 --> 00:48:29.050 It's like that, where if you go to the other side of the wheel, it just doesn't exist. 00:48:29.070 --> 00:48:29.990 You can't see it. 00:48:30.910 --> 00:48:32.670 So I'm bringing that into real life. 00:48:32.750 --> 00:48:33.590 It's sort of like- 00:48:33.610 --> 00:48:36.170 Have you ever wanted something to not exist on one side? 00:48:36.190 --> 00:48:41.550 Now, here's maybe a more apt comparison that more people will understand. 00:48:41.790 --> 00:48:45.470 It's sort of like how a double-sided mirror works. 00:48:45.810 --> 00:48:47.930 Well, a double-sided mirror has two sides. 00:48:47.950 --> 00:48:49.310 But it does have two sides. 00:48:49.330 --> 00:48:52.950 But what if it just didn't exist on one side? 00:48:53.030 --> 00:48:59.550 It's like a two-sided mirror, but instead of you see a mirror on one of the sides, you just don't see anything on one of the sides. 00:48:59.570 --> 00:49:01.550 Yeah, it's just there's nothing there. 00:49:01.630 --> 00:49:04.350 And I think the thing is it also goes one way. 00:49:04.570 --> 00:49:11.070 This is the perfect solution to every filter and thing, you know, everything goes one way. 00:49:11.090 --> 00:49:15.330 You can't go out the other way, but everything will just fall right through. 00:49:15.350 --> 00:49:22.290 So you can walk through it one direction, but if you go, it does suck a lot if you stop halfway through and try to go backwards. 00:49:23.570 --> 00:49:24.490 Oh, no. 00:49:24.510 --> 00:49:27.750 You can have a whole building made out of this. 00:49:27.870 --> 00:49:30.690 You just walk through a building, but only one direction. 00:49:33.870 --> 00:49:34.630 How is it a wheel? 00:49:35.650 --> 00:49:39.070 Because there are two parts of it that we... 00:49:39.090 --> 00:49:40.250 No, there's one part. 00:49:40.270 --> 00:49:41.230 There's one side. 00:49:41.250 --> 00:49:41.890 Okay. 00:49:41.910 --> 00:49:45.170 But on that one side, there can be surface area. 00:49:45.430 --> 00:49:53.310 And then if you take any point on that surface, you can probably draw a line on it, and that line can be a circle. 00:49:53.550 --> 00:49:54.370 And that's a wheel. 00:49:54.990 --> 00:49:56.750 That's a one-sided wheel, baby. 00:50:00.650 --> 00:50:05.250 This doesn't sound right, but I don't know enough about math to dispute it. 00:50:06.950 --> 00:50:07.430 I love it. 00:50:07.450 --> 00:50:08.410 That's the Ross Wheel. 00:50:08.430 --> 00:50:10.030 There's the Price Wheel and the Ross Wheel. 00:50:10.350 --> 00:50:13.110 Now, let's think of some other things that we could reinvent. 00:50:13.130 --> 00:50:14.090 Cell phone. 00:50:14.550 --> 00:50:15.770 Cell phone. 00:50:16.310 --> 00:50:17.210 What's the Ross phone? 00:50:17.730 --> 00:50:18.970 It's a calculator. 00:50:20.250 --> 00:50:24.330 But like, it's a calculator with the intention of adding games to it. 00:50:24.350 --> 00:50:27.190 It's a calculator with games. 00:50:27.610 --> 00:50:29.430 I bet that that exists. 00:50:29.510 --> 00:50:31.670 I 100% bet that that exists. 00:50:31.730 --> 00:50:33.670 I mean, that's just what cell phones are. 00:50:33.790 --> 00:50:35.630 Because what is a cell phone now? 00:50:35.690 --> 00:50:40.150 It's a device with a cell phone app and then also a bunch of other apps. 00:50:40.290 --> 00:50:45.450 You could just as easily say a cell phone is actually just a calculator with a bunch of other apps. 00:50:45.850 --> 00:50:47.410 Yeah, I suppose. 00:50:47.470 --> 00:50:50.330 Also, calling and texting are some of those apps. 00:50:50.350 --> 00:50:52.670 Yeah, that's an app you can download on this calculator. 00:50:52.730 --> 00:50:53.490 Okay, great. 00:50:53.510 --> 00:50:55.710 You can download a calling app on this calculator. 00:50:57.850 --> 00:50:58.410 I love it. 00:50:59.790 --> 00:51:01.570 What's the price cell phone? 00:51:02.110 --> 00:51:08.310 One of the problems with phones is that the touchscreen is fragile. 00:51:08.330 --> 00:51:09.490 It can break really easy. 00:51:09.930 --> 00:51:15.230 What if instead of a touchscreen, you had a goo screen? 00:51:15.690 --> 00:51:18.550 We're just redoing the goo keyboard. 00:51:18.930 --> 00:51:19.450 You're right. 00:51:20.630 --> 00:51:21.530 I'm into it. 00:51:21.590 --> 00:51:22.690 It could be a flop screen. 00:51:22.710 --> 00:51:24.430 We can have a whole line of goo-tronics. 00:51:24.670 --> 00:51:25.950 Yeah, so there's goo. 00:51:25.970 --> 00:51:27.510 There's a goo-ski. 00:51:27.510 --> 00:51:28.350 Gooski. 00:51:28.530 --> 00:51:29.090 Gooski. 00:51:29.110 --> 00:51:30.490 There's a goo screen. 00:51:31.030 --> 00:51:32.530 There's a goo screen. 00:51:32.550 --> 00:51:34.530 When it dies, you get the goo screen. 00:51:34.590 --> 00:51:36.930 Yeah, there's a fluffy screen. 00:51:36.950 --> 00:51:38.290 Fluffy? 00:51:38.530 --> 00:51:39.610 Yeah, it's like fluff. 00:51:40.110 --> 00:51:40.910 Oh my God. 00:51:40.930 --> 00:51:41.890 It's like a pillow. 00:51:42.150 --> 00:51:43.290 You can sleep on it. 00:51:43.710 --> 00:51:45.550 I want to sleep on my cell phone. 00:51:45.570 --> 00:51:48.390 Yeah, really get that alarm in the morning. 00:51:48.410 --> 00:51:50.070 Oh, it just vibrates your whole face. 00:51:50.090 --> 00:51:52.530 Yeah, you're like, what a pleasant way to wake up. 00:51:52.930 --> 00:51:55.070 I'm talking, there's a water screen. 00:51:55.090 --> 00:51:56.790 What if your pillow vibrated? 00:51:58.390 --> 00:52:00.290 What if your pillow vibrated? 00:52:00.810 --> 00:52:01.470 As an alarm? 00:52:01.750 --> 00:52:02.350 Anything. 00:52:02.650 --> 00:52:03.530 Just generally? 00:52:03.550 --> 00:52:04.350 Just generally. 00:52:04.370 --> 00:52:05.810 What if your pillow vibrated? 00:52:06.010 --> 00:52:08.550 What if your pillow gave you a head massage? 00:52:09.030 --> 00:52:10.810 Some real good ASMR. 00:52:11.110 --> 00:52:11.770 Oh, yeah. 00:52:12.070 --> 00:52:13.270 This is what we're talking about. 00:52:13.430 --> 00:52:15.090 Now, this is an invention. 00:52:15.110 --> 00:52:16.370 Now, this is an invention. 00:52:16.390 --> 00:52:17.350 We're inventing it. 00:52:17.510 --> 00:52:18.890 Throw the cell phone. 00:52:19.050 --> 00:52:21.450 Hey, Jerry, throw out the cell phones. 00:52:22.350 --> 00:52:23.310 Jerry. 00:52:23.570 --> 00:52:24.610 He's my cell phone guy. 00:52:24.630 --> 00:52:25.330 Don't worry about it. 00:52:26.450 --> 00:52:27.910 We're very Harley Quinn there. 00:52:28.050 --> 00:52:29.750 We have this new line of pillows. 00:52:30.090 --> 00:52:30.510 Right. 00:52:30.750 --> 00:52:32.770 Some of them vibrate, some of them give you a head massage. 00:52:32.790 --> 00:52:34.590 There are body pillows that vibrate. 00:52:34.610 --> 00:52:34.990 There are. 00:52:35.010 --> 00:52:35.710 Yeah. 00:52:35.950 --> 00:52:36.410 Yeah. 00:52:36.850 --> 00:52:39.510 There are genital cells in them. 00:52:40.210 --> 00:52:43.130 You can get a genital kin body pillow that vibrates. 00:52:45.610 --> 00:52:48.170 At an anime convention near you. 00:52:48.710 --> 00:52:53.830 There's just a straight up ASMR pillow that does ASMR for you. 00:52:54.130 --> 00:52:55.730 What kind of ASMR? 00:52:55.750 --> 00:52:56.210 It's got settings. 00:52:56.230 --> 00:52:57.350 Is it more than just vibrating? 00:52:57.370 --> 00:52:57.890 It's got settings. 00:52:57.910 --> 00:52:58.710 Is it like the... 00:52:58.730 --> 00:52:59.570 Like sound. 00:53:03.330 --> 00:53:04.350 I'm changing the setting. 00:53:05.110 --> 00:53:06.090 Meeeee. 00:53:16.050 --> 00:53:17.850 Turning it off, turning it off. 00:53:18.010 --> 00:53:20.290 We need better ASMR sounds. 00:53:20.310 --> 00:53:21.750 Here's a classic Salt Craving one. 00:53:22.170 --> 00:53:22.870 Pillow teeth. 00:53:24.950 --> 00:53:25.910 Goo pillow. 00:53:25.930 --> 00:53:26.390 Kiss it. 00:53:28.150 --> 00:53:29.150 Kiss it better. 00:53:29.950 --> 00:53:31.530 It vibrates and kiss you. 00:53:32.370 --> 00:53:35.850 You can date your canning body pillow now. 00:53:35.870 --> 00:53:36.470 You can date yourself. 00:53:36.490 --> 00:53:41.010 You can date your canning body pillow with real teeth, and it vibrates. 00:53:41.370 --> 00:53:43.530 You don't need anything else. 00:53:43.990 --> 00:53:47.670 There's also a mic pillow for your pillow cast. 00:53:48.450 --> 00:53:49.230 A microphone. 00:53:49.230 --> 00:53:52.250 Oh, I thought you just meant like, this is a mic. 00:53:52.510 --> 00:53:53.930 This is a pillow of mic. 00:53:54.530 --> 00:53:56.910 No, none of the mics that I'm thinking of would be good. 00:53:56.930 --> 00:53:59.610 Think of any mic in your life that's a pillow now. 00:53:59.890 --> 00:54:02.130 Think of any mic who's a celebrity. 00:54:02.430 --> 00:54:05.690 Mike Wachowski, the green monster. 00:54:05.790 --> 00:54:07.750 That's somehow the best option. 00:54:08.310 --> 00:54:11.830 Because the other ones that came to my head were Mike Myers and Mike Bloomberg. 00:54:12.270 --> 00:54:14.110 I don't have visual images of them. 00:54:14.450 --> 00:54:15.010 You don't. 00:54:16.550 --> 00:54:19.510 So it's Mike Wachowski. 00:54:21.770 --> 00:54:27.630 You're thinking of the Wachowski sisters, which is a very trans thing of you to do. 00:54:28.210 --> 00:54:30.670 Mike Wachowski, the third sibling. 00:54:30.850 --> 00:54:35.470 The third sibling also just happens to be a green monster from Monsters, Inc. 00:54:36.590 --> 00:54:37.790 Don't worry about it. 00:54:37.950 --> 00:54:40.290 And you got a body pillow of him now. 00:54:40.590 --> 00:54:41.730 Great line of pillows. 00:54:42.310 --> 00:54:44.010 They'll sell a lot. 00:54:44.070 --> 00:54:45.150 Shit, it's capitalist. 00:54:45.170 --> 00:54:45.910 And they have teeth. 00:54:46.470 --> 00:54:47.050 Oh man. 00:54:47.070 --> 00:54:47.530 Big teeth. 00:54:47.730 --> 00:54:48.850 It became capitalist again. 00:54:48.870 --> 00:54:50.750 You can stick your whole hand in its mouth. 00:54:51.390 --> 00:54:52.110 I guess you could. 00:54:52.130 --> 00:54:53.370 I don't know why you would. 00:54:54.050 --> 00:54:57.310 You can stick your hand down its mouth and then it'll vibrate on you. 00:54:57.790 --> 00:54:59.430 I think we have to end this episode. 00:54:59.450 --> 00:55:04.790 Hey guys, you didn't tell me to come back in, so I wasn't sure when I should come back in. 00:55:04.810 --> 00:55:06.410 Nobody said to come back in. 00:55:06.690 --> 00:55:12.150 Well, I just figured, you know, it's been a while, and I'm supposed to be hosting the podcast, of course. 00:55:13.910 --> 00:55:15.590 So, where are we? 00:55:15.610 --> 00:55:16.850 Where are we in the episode? 00:55:18.050 --> 00:55:18.390 What? 00:55:18.530 --> 00:55:19.790 They ended the episode? 00:55:20.170 --> 00:55:20.910 Oh man. 00:55:21.150 --> 00:55:29.090 Well, did they do the bit where they say to please follow Salt Cravings on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram at Salt Cravings? 00:55:29.430 --> 00:55:30.350 Pika Pika. 00:55:30.370 --> 00:55:32.870 Pika submissions at saltcravings.com. 00:55:32.890 --> 00:55:34.150 Pika Pika Pika. 00:55:34.850 --> 00:55:42.490 What about how they should review the podcast on iTunes or Stitcher or whatever podcast app they use? 00:55:42.910 --> 00:55:43.810 Pika Pika. 00:55:44.290 --> 00:55:44.690 Okay. 00:55:44.850 --> 00:55:46.090 At least that part's done now.