WEBVTT 00:00:00.280 --> 00:00:14.660 Hey folks, just a heads up that I accidentally did not switch the mic settings from the laptop to the actual normal microphone, so this episode isn't going to sound good like this, but instead, it's going to sound a little patchy. 00:00:15.420 --> 00:00:23.220 I apologize, but hey, if you can suffer through it, there are jokes, and if you can't, then I'll see you in the next episode. 00:00:23.720 --> 00:00:25.660 I won't see you, nor will I hear you. 00:00:25.760 --> 00:00:27.140 I'll have no interaction with you. 00:00:53.260 --> 00:00:59.220 Hello, and welcome to the normal, super normal, not weird Salt Cravings. 00:00:59.320 --> 00:01:00.520 My name is Clair. 00:01:00.540 --> 00:01:02.000 And my name is Brianna. 00:01:02.080 --> 00:01:04.760 It's so nice to be doing a normal podcast. 00:01:04.900 --> 00:01:11.400 Yeah, you know the best part about a normal podcast is we've definitely done a normal thing before. 00:01:12.160 --> 00:01:15.180 And it's like repeating yourself is super normal. 00:01:15.220 --> 00:01:16.060 It happens. 00:01:16.260 --> 00:01:17.780 It's, we definitely have. 00:01:17.980 --> 00:01:20.300 This is, yeah, absolutely, we definitely have. 00:01:20.360 --> 00:01:24.260 Nothing's more normal than just, you know, comfort, familiarity. 00:01:24.340 --> 00:01:28.700 And I think there's something to be said for the fact that I think we are consistently normal. 00:01:28.820 --> 00:01:31.840 I think every episode of Salt Cravings has been pretty normal. 00:01:31.840 --> 00:01:33.700 Every episode of Salt Cravings? 00:01:34.060 --> 00:01:36.280 Every episode of Salt Cravings has been pretty normal. 00:01:36.300 --> 00:01:37.980 I mean, if you look at the last episode. 00:01:38.320 --> 00:01:40.480 No, no, we don't. 00:01:41.220 --> 00:01:42.860 If you don't look, close your eyes. 00:01:42.880 --> 00:01:45.300 Well, I meant episode, the last episode, episode one. 00:01:45.480 --> 00:01:46.200 Oh, I see. 00:01:47.200 --> 00:01:48.680 That was a pretty normal episode. 00:01:50.160 --> 00:01:52.280 The only other episode of Salt Cravings. 00:01:53.760 --> 00:01:55.280 Welcome to Salt Cravings. 00:01:55.600 --> 00:01:57.500 We talk about cravings and we solve them. 00:01:57.640 --> 00:01:59.040 I already introduced myself. 00:01:59.060 --> 00:02:00.280 You already introduced myself. 00:02:00.300 --> 00:02:01.560 Where's the checkbox? 00:02:01.560 --> 00:02:04.620 I introduced you introduce yourself, and then I introduced you. 00:02:06.140 --> 00:02:10.320 Wait, sorry, is there another person on this podcast besides me? 00:02:10.680 --> 00:02:12.240 This is just me talking to myself. 00:02:14.220 --> 00:02:16.260 Is this, wait, is that supposed to be me? 00:02:16.680 --> 00:02:20.600 It's me, of course, your co-host, Sonic. 00:02:20.940 --> 00:02:21.860 No. 00:02:21.880 --> 00:02:23.760 I mean, we've always known Sonic here. 00:02:24.540 --> 00:02:26.580 It doesn't have to be anywhere but our heart. 00:02:26.840 --> 00:02:28.680 He just sort of pops up sometimes. 00:02:28.700 --> 00:02:32.600 It's sort of like when you burp, but it's like Sonic. 00:02:32.700 --> 00:02:34.340 Sonic comes out when I burp. 00:02:34.560 --> 00:02:38.560 Yeah, and he's gay and he came out, so good for him. 00:02:38.780 --> 00:02:40.460 Sonic belching, I'm gay. 00:02:40.480 --> 00:02:43.820 I didn't even know how to do that. 00:02:43.840 --> 00:02:47.580 I was going to try and do that impression. 00:02:47.600 --> 00:02:52.260 I don't know how Sonic burps, because Senga won't show us, you cowards. 00:02:52.680 --> 00:02:54.300 Well, we can leave all of that in the past. 00:02:54.500 --> 00:02:56.260 We have a normal podcast. 00:02:56.440 --> 00:03:01.120 We have a normal podcast where we find super normal solutions to super normal cravings. 00:03:01.240 --> 00:03:08.840 Brianna is going to give us the first craving, then I'm going to give a craving, then Brianna is going to give a craving, then I'm going to give a craving, then we're going to leave and you're going to feel sad. 00:03:09.160 --> 00:03:11.320 So Brianna, do you want to start us off by going... 00:03:17.740 --> 00:03:20.520 By now, I see you brought a little show and tell today. 00:03:21.480 --> 00:03:26.960 So, everybody on here, Star Wars is a perfect series. 00:03:27.040 --> 00:03:33.340 So I will say, I haven't seen Episode 9, so I also have not seen Episode 9. 00:03:33.360 --> 00:03:34.960 So Star Wars is a perfect series. 00:03:39.580 --> 00:03:40.320 When I was a youth. 00:03:42.540 --> 00:03:45.040 I got a gender neutral black career, we've done it everyone. 00:03:45.060 --> 00:03:53.160 When I was a youth who liked Star Wars a whole lot, one thing that I liked was there was a phone app, pretty sure there still is. 00:03:53.180 --> 00:03:54.200 There's only one. 00:03:54.220 --> 00:03:54.960 There's only one. 00:03:54.980 --> 00:03:56.600 It's called The Star Wars. 00:03:56.620 --> 00:03:58.660 You can download it on the App Center. 00:03:58.680 --> 00:04:00.720 Yeah, the App Center. 00:04:00.740 --> 00:04:01.700 Yeah, the App Center. 00:04:01.720 --> 00:04:04.160 It's the gender-neutral app store. 00:04:05.500 --> 00:04:10.480 This was an app that would let you use your phone as a lightsaber. 00:04:10.960 --> 00:04:11.820 Oh my God. 00:04:11.860 --> 00:04:17.120 There's just a series of apps where it's like the pouring water app and the bug swatter app. 00:04:17.140 --> 00:04:17.820 Exactly. 00:04:17.940 --> 00:04:26.080 And it was like, here's one thing it does, and it's entertaining for about 10 seconds, then that's the whole app. 00:04:26.100 --> 00:04:35.120 I remember when the app store came out on iPhone, Apple decided that they would add backgrounds and also the app store. 00:04:35.240 --> 00:04:38.160 People were like, hmm, what's the quickest thing I could make? 00:04:38.300 --> 00:04:39.280 Ah, lightsaber. 00:04:39.340 --> 00:04:39.940 Go with you. 00:04:40.220 --> 00:04:46.900 It was really cool feeling me to be like, oh, I'm swinging around this thing, and it feels, and it's like making sounds like a lightsaber, right? 00:04:46.920 --> 00:04:49.460 Because it would make noises as you swing it around. 00:04:49.500 --> 00:04:53.860 And that was cool, and I want to feel like I'm swinging a lightsaber again. 00:04:54.100 --> 00:04:57.780 Did you ever have, there was those toys in stores where there were lightsabers. 00:04:57.800 --> 00:04:58.460 So I do. 00:04:58.720 --> 00:04:59.720 Okay, cool, cool, cool. 00:04:59.740 --> 00:05:00.960 So I do, do you want me to get it? 00:05:00.980 --> 00:05:01.840 I go get it. 00:05:01.860 --> 00:05:02.560 Yeah, go get it. 00:05:09.660 --> 00:05:12.080 I had a big lightsaber. 00:05:12.680 --> 00:05:13.460 Oh gosh. 00:05:16.900 --> 00:05:17.820 But it doesn't really feel. 00:05:17.840 --> 00:05:18.600 It doesn't work. 00:05:18.740 --> 00:05:19.280 It doesn't work. 00:05:19.300 --> 00:05:20.340 So I swing it around. 00:05:20.360 --> 00:05:21.900 Droom, droom. 00:05:22.200 --> 00:05:24.140 It has this kind of low hum. 00:05:24.380 --> 00:05:24.700 Yeah. 00:05:24.720 --> 00:05:25.840 When you turn it off, it goes. 00:05:27.260 --> 00:05:27.740 Okay. 00:05:27.760 --> 00:05:29.020 But it doesn't really. 00:05:29.660 --> 00:05:32.300 I'll post a picture in the description so y'all can see it. 00:05:32.580 --> 00:05:37.920 But it is a custom one that I made when we went to like. 00:05:38.160 --> 00:05:38.860 You made this? 00:05:39.440 --> 00:05:39.800 Yeah. 00:05:40.020 --> 00:05:40.460 Oh, wow. 00:05:40.480 --> 00:05:46.780 Cause Disney World had the Star Wars stuff at Disney World when I went, had this option to make a custom lightsaber. 00:05:47.620 --> 00:05:50.460 So I made this one custom cause I thought it was cool. 00:05:50.580 --> 00:05:51.300 And you know what? 00:05:51.320 --> 00:05:51.880 I was right. 00:05:51.880 --> 00:05:53.020 It's extremely cool. 00:05:53.040 --> 00:05:54.680 It's an extremely cool lightsaber. 00:05:55.060 --> 00:06:00.920 But it doesn't, you know, it gives me a little bit of that vibe of like the turning on sound and the like... 00:06:00.940 --> 00:06:02.180 But you want the movement. 00:06:02.300 --> 00:06:03.120 I want the movement. 00:06:03.140 --> 00:06:04.880 I want to feel like I'm having a lightsaber fight. 00:06:04.940 --> 00:06:08.300 I want, I want like to feel that cool. 00:06:08.600 --> 00:06:16.540 Isn't it like the sound is the light cutting through, like it's the reaction between the air and whatever. 00:06:16.560 --> 00:06:22.200 And then I think there were things in the app where it was like you were simulating having some sort of lightsaber fight. 00:06:23.980 --> 00:06:25.500 Yeah, I can't remember exactly. 00:06:25.500 --> 00:06:32.660 That might be something else, but I want to feel like I'm swinging around a lightsaber that really truly works as a lightsaber. 00:06:32.820 --> 00:06:34.760 So you want like dense light. 00:06:35.100 --> 00:06:36.640 I would like a lightsaber, yes. 00:06:36.980 --> 00:06:37.540 Cool. 00:06:37.740 --> 00:06:39.320 Now here's my concern with it. 00:06:39.380 --> 00:06:40.060 It kills? 00:06:40.340 --> 00:06:41.220 It does kill. 00:06:41.580 --> 00:06:48.000 And one of the things about lightsabers is if you aren't force sensitive, they're pretty hard to use. 00:06:48.160 --> 00:06:50.600 And you accidentally hurt yourself. 00:06:50.700 --> 00:06:54.420 And I'm not sure that I'm force sensitive because I don't know that the force is real. 00:06:54.440 --> 00:06:57.040 I feel like you're quite sensitive to being forced. 00:06:59.280 --> 00:07:01.040 There's so many uses for this, right? 00:07:01.240 --> 00:07:01.540 Yeah. 00:07:01.560 --> 00:07:03.740 Like my first thought is construction. 00:07:03.840 --> 00:07:06.320 Because lightsabers are really good at cutting things. 00:07:06.360 --> 00:07:07.280 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:07:07.300 --> 00:07:08.240 They cut through anything. 00:07:08.520 --> 00:07:11.000 Instead of like a saw. 00:07:11.300 --> 00:07:13.280 Lightsabers can melt steel beams. 00:07:15.340 --> 00:07:15.900 They can. 00:07:16.080 --> 00:07:18.760 So why use a saw when you can use a lightsaber? 00:07:18.900 --> 00:07:20.160 Hey, use it as a lighter. 00:07:21.360 --> 00:07:26.840 Just like, oh my God, tiny lightsabers that are just lighters that you flick open. 00:07:26.980 --> 00:07:28.340 And it's like, yeah. 00:07:28.660 --> 00:07:30.180 It's like this, but pitched up. 00:07:33.820 --> 00:07:36.540 What are good uses for a lightsaber? 00:07:36.840 --> 00:07:38.940 So like, what are the other shapes? 00:07:38.960 --> 00:07:46.220 Because I'm invested in the like lighter saber, which is just a little lighter that is a lightsaber. 00:07:46.240 --> 00:07:47.800 So you know how. 00:07:47.860 --> 00:07:51.680 Also, I was thinking like a bowl, and I'm not sure how that works. 00:07:52.620 --> 00:07:59.340 Or like a French fry cutter, where it's like you just drop the French fry in the French fry cutter and you get French fries. 00:07:59.520 --> 00:08:00.860 Or a waffle iron. 00:08:01.400 --> 00:08:01.700 Ooh. 00:08:02.080 --> 00:08:02.940 A waffle iron. 00:08:02.960 --> 00:08:04.800 It's shaped like a, it's shaped like a waffle. 00:08:04.820 --> 00:08:05.640 It uses waffles. 00:08:05.660 --> 00:08:10.680 That other instant thought was, do you ever need a bottle opener? 00:08:10.900 --> 00:08:12.740 You don't want a bottle opener on you. 00:08:12.860 --> 00:08:17.600 But you know how they can use a sword to open a bottle, and it's cool as hell? 00:08:20.380 --> 00:08:20.740 Right? 00:08:20.760 --> 00:08:23.860 It probably also sterilizes the tip because it's so fucking hot. 00:08:23.880 --> 00:08:24.560 Probably. 00:08:24.580 --> 00:08:25.300 I mean, it cauterizes- 00:08:25.320 --> 00:08:26.580 Oh, you can cauterize wounds. 00:08:26.600 --> 00:08:28.120 You could absolutely, yeah, you can cauterize wounds. 00:08:28.120 --> 00:08:29.400 Use it in medical usage. 00:08:29.420 --> 00:08:30.960 Do they do that in Star Wars? 00:08:30.960 --> 00:08:36.780 I feel like someone at some point must have gone, ah, I'm going to cauterize your wound with this lightsaber. 00:08:37.000 --> 00:08:38.920 Probably somewhere in the expanded universe. 00:08:38.940 --> 00:08:41.820 Because I don't think the Jedi have medical knowledge in general. 00:08:42.180 --> 00:08:42.900 They probably should. 00:08:42.920 --> 00:08:47.640 They should stop being weird murder Catholics and start being like nurses or something. 00:08:47.660 --> 00:08:51.180 Oh, God, the Jedi nurse is the story I want to read about. 00:08:51.200 --> 00:08:51.920 Yeah, me too. 00:08:51.960 --> 00:08:53.600 But what about a pencil sharpener? 00:08:53.620 --> 00:08:55.940 Ooh, interesting. 00:08:55.960 --> 00:09:03.420 I know my girlfriend apparently, and artists, lots of artists do this, but I think it's wild, uses a knife to sharpen her pencils. 00:09:05.040 --> 00:09:07.860 So lightsaber knife to sharpen your pencils with. 00:09:08.080 --> 00:09:15.540 Oh, I thought it was like, you know the old school pencil sharpeners where they stick to the wall and you just sort of twist it a couple of times. 00:09:15.560 --> 00:09:16.200 Do you use a crank? 00:09:16.380 --> 00:09:21.800 Yeah, it's like a lightsaber inside that just sort of goes around in a cone shape. 00:09:21.820 --> 00:09:24.000 Yeah, that also works super duper well. 00:09:24.140 --> 00:09:25.480 What are some other usages of that? 00:09:25.560 --> 00:09:26.840 There's recycling. 00:09:27.580 --> 00:09:37.580 Like what if it's just like Sonic's ring, but in the middle, it's just like pure lightsaber energy and you just drop something in it and out comes like, I don't know, dust, vapor. 00:09:37.760 --> 00:09:39.000 What comes out the other side? 00:09:39.020 --> 00:09:40.340 When you, okay, all right. 00:09:40.560 --> 00:09:43.860 When you lightsaber something, what does it turn into? 00:09:43.880 --> 00:09:47.100 Who lightsaber is the verb, yes. 00:09:47.460 --> 00:09:50.360 What does it, it, so. 00:09:50.380 --> 00:09:51.300 What are you turning in it? 00:09:51.320 --> 00:09:51.860 Like, what is it? 00:09:52.000 --> 00:09:53.040 Is it consistent? 00:09:53.060 --> 00:09:54.060 Like if I lightsaber. 00:09:54.100 --> 00:09:54.500 Ash? 00:09:54.860 --> 00:09:55.720 Are you sure? 00:09:55.760 --> 00:09:58.100 Cause like, I don't know if that's true. 00:09:58.500 --> 00:09:59.940 It feels like it's nothing. 00:10:00.300 --> 00:10:04.780 It like, canonically, it always looks like you're cutting through it and then there's nothing. 00:10:05.060 --> 00:10:06.680 Is it just vaporizing it? 00:10:07.020 --> 00:10:08.580 What is the vapor made of? 00:10:08.680 --> 00:10:14.240 I will say, when they cut through a door, it does appear that the metal kind of twists. 00:10:14.320 --> 00:10:17.360 It does look like when you would heat metal. 00:10:18.400 --> 00:10:20.020 So I think it's just heat. 00:10:20.080 --> 00:10:21.060 It's just heat. 00:10:21.340 --> 00:10:22.940 How hot is it though, right? 00:10:22.960 --> 00:10:24.420 Cause it's like, it's pure light. 00:10:24.500 --> 00:10:26.820 I mean, I think we need to go to the Star Wars wiki. 00:10:26.960 --> 00:10:28.740 All right, we're bringing in the facts. 00:10:28.800 --> 00:10:30.560 This is the hard-hitting facts, folks. 00:10:31.120 --> 00:10:34.640 How much lightsaber can a lightsaber save if a lightsaber could save save? 00:10:34.880 --> 00:10:36.540 Well, I'm getting to the mechanics and specifications. 00:10:38.060 --> 00:10:40.520 Components, aesthetics, cutting power. 00:10:40.560 --> 00:10:45.780 Is it equivalent to if we just had a very long sun? 00:10:46.240 --> 00:10:46.680 Sorry? 00:10:46.800 --> 00:10:47.880 A very long sun. 00:10:48.140 --> 00:10:55.880 Like, like a star that was just, instead of an orb, it was like a bean-shaped, bean-shaped sun. 00:10:56.240 --> 00:11:03.100 It's not really saying a lot about how hot they are, which feels like the sort of nonsense information this thing should have. 00:11:03.160 --> 00:11:20.920 But what I can tell you is that there's a utility section, which says, on the aquatic planet of Moncala, the Jedi Kit Fisto, that's one of my favorite Jedi names, is Kit Fisto, Anakin Skywalker and Ahsoka Tano were all able to use their lightsabers underwater with no ill effects. 00:11:21.580 --> 00:11:23.780 Oh, like it doesn't even bubble the water. 00:11:25.660 --> 00:11:27.300 That's not heat them. 00:11:27.520 --> 00:11:28.340 That's light. 00:11:28.400 --> 00:11:29.320 Yeah, it's light. 00:11:29.580 --> 00:11:31.200 But it doesn't produce heat them. 00:11:31.420 --> 00:11:32.560 But it does, right? 00:11:32.580 --> 00:11:34.000 Because it cauterizes wounds. 00:11:34.080 --> 00:11:34.940 I guess so. 00:11:35.300 --> 00:11:39.040 Light is energy, and heat is energy in a different form. 00:11:39.300 --> 00:11:40.440 So I guess so. 00:11:40.520 --> 00:11:42.640 I mean, we know that it's kyber crystals. 00:11:42.660 --> 00:11:44.440 That's what the light part is made from. 00:11:44.540 --> 00:11:45.520 Kyber crystals. 00:11:45.580 --> 00:11:47.880 I'm super familiar with kyber crystals. 00:11:48.100 --> 00:11:49.480 We're all familiar with kyber crystals. 00:11:49.500 --> 00:11:56.420 We know that they're like the ancient gemstones that the Jedi used to make lightsabers, and they're very holy and very important. 00:11:56.440 --> 00:11:59.880 And they were also used in the creation of the Death Star as established in World 1. 00:12:00.740 --> 00:12:05.320 I'm pretty sure Yugi beat kyber in the first season. 00:12:05.560 --> 00:12:12.940 I will say in the utility page, it also says, while scenarios of low light, the glowing plasma blade could function as a convenient light source. 00:12:13.060 --> 00:12:15.740 So that's another usage. 00:12:15.760 --> 00:12:16.560 Oh, it's a light bulb. 00:12:16.780 --> 00:12:17.520 It's a light bulb. 00:12:17.840 --> 00:12:18.320 That's it. 00:12:18.700 --> 00:12:22.020 We found the correct usage of the lightsaber to put on your wall. 00:12:22.040 --> 00:12:24.180 It's like infinite energy, right? 00:12:24.200 --> 00:12:25.880 Yeah, created from the kyber crystal. 00:12:26.140 --> 00:12:28.140 I don't think a kyber crystal burns out. 00:12:28.760 --> 00:12:29.580 Like, does it? 00:12:29.860 --> 00:12:32.040 What's the lifespan of a kyber crystal? 00:12:32.080 --> 00:12:36.040 Welcome to Salt Cravings, a Wikipedia page reading podcast. 00:12:36.060 --> 00:12:42.540 I just think that we need to be accurate when we talk about Star Wars, because if we aren't, you know what's going to happen to us? 00:12:42.660 --> 00:12:44.580 We're going to be put on the Wikipedia page? 00:12:44.800 --> 00:12:49.500 We're going to be executed and then put on the Wikipedia page. 00:12:49.520 --> 00:12:50.480 There's a lot here. 00:12:50.500 --> 00:12:51.960 There's a lot to unpack with this sentence. 00:12:52.020 --> 00:12:56.580 As part of Jedi training, younglings, which are children, were sent to... 00:12:56.800 --> 00:12:59.380 No, that's just me for the audience. 00:12:59.400 --> 00:13:07.120 Younglings were sent to the crystal cave of the ice planet of Ilum to mine crystals that are to construct their own lightsabers. 00:13:08.140 --> 00:13:12.880 The crystals' mix of unique luster was called the Water of the Kyber by the Jedi. 00:13:13.000 --> 00:13:15.120 They're also larger rare crystals with great power. 00:13:15.140 --> 00:13:18.840 According to legends, they were used at the heart of ancient superweapons by the Sith. 00:13:19.080 --> 00:13:25.240 It doesn't say anything about them ever burning out, so I have to imagine they're an infinite source. 00:13:25.420 --> 00:13:30.180 I mean, cause like a kyber crystal, I guess, is like how the prism reflects light. 00:13:30.360 --> 00:13:35.620 You know when like you have a really nice rock that reflects white light into a rainbow? 00:13:35.880 --> 00:13:37.900 It's like a rainbow into white light. 00:13:38.180 --> 00:13:38.560 Yeah. 00:13:38.580 --> 00:13:41.960 Which is also a thing you can do with normal rocks. 00:13:42.100 --> 00:13:46.420 And of course they're colored because kyber crystals, huh? 00:13:46.440 --> 00:13:47.840 Cause you're splitting off the light. 00:13:47.860 --> 00:13:48.620 Ah, of course. 00:13:49.340 --> 00:13:49.900 Yeah, good point. 00:13:50.120 --> 00:13:50.560 Physics. 00:13:50.580 --> 00:13:52.180 So they're light bulbs. 00:13:52.200 --> 00:13:53.000 They're just light bulbs. 00:13:53.060 --> 00:13:54.720 They're just light bulbs that can fill you up. 00:13:54.740 --> 00:13:56.860 Let's send younglings to the crystal cave. 00:13:57.120 --> 00:14:00.800 Get them to mine some kyber crystals for us. 00:14:00.820 --> 00:14:03.500 We don't need to send children to make us light bulbs. 00:14:03.700 --> 00:14:04.720 But the Jedi did it. 00:14:05.940 --> 00:14:08.260 The Jedi are morally... 00:14:08.480 --> 00:14:09.680 Right, in every way... 00:14:09.680 --> 00:14:09.680 . 00:14:09.680 --> 00:14:10.040 immovable. 00:14:10.660 --> 00:14:11.480 They are correct. 00:14:11.640 --> 00:14:12.900 Obviously, we all know this. 00:14:13.520 --> 00:14:17.820 I mean, I guess I don't really need to use a lightsaber if I kind of constantly have them... 00:14:19.760 --> 00:14:20.320 All right. 00:14:20.500 --> 00:14:21.080 What if? 00:14:21.120 --> 00:14:22.580 So you know headlamps? 00:14:22.900 --> 00:14:26.620 What if headlamps, lightsaber, unicorn style? 00:14:26.640 --> 00:14:27.560 I'm gonna be honest. 00:14:27.580 --> 00:14:32.560 I feel like we're not that far from that type of thing in a Star Wars... 00:14:32.580 --> 00:14:35.260 We've had some pretty whack lightsaber designs. 00:14:35.500 --> 00:14:37.080 I feel like we're pretty close. 00:14:37.100 --> 00:14:41.200 I think it's just a lightsaber on your forehead, and you're a narwhal now, a unicorn. 00:14:41.220 --> 00:14:42.140 Yeah, exactly. 00:14:42.160 --> 00:14:42.640 You're just... 00:14:42.840 --> 00:14:44.440 You could put them on your horse. 00:14:44.880 --> 00:14:47.180 This is the new weird Sith concept. 00:14:47.200 --> 00:14:53.640 The next Sith is just going to have a lightsaber horn, and they're just going to fight that way, and just try to headbutt. 00:14:53.720 --> 00:14:57.220 And the Jedi person is like, how can you fight in this way? 00:14:57.240 --> 00:14:59.240 How are you not getting disoriented? 00:14:59.260 --> 00:15:03.620 And they're like, because I'm strong with the Force, and I know exactly where you are, despite the fact that... 00:15:03.960 --> 00:15:04.620 I'm a horse. 00:15:04.840 --> 00:15:06.000 I'm a horse. 00:15:06.020 --> 00:15:08.260 Because they're also all horse now. 00:15:08.260 --> 00:15:10.100 I'm excited for the light. 00:15:10.200 --> 00:15:12.180 Oh, there are horse furries in the Star Wars universe. 00:15:12.660 --> 00:15:13.400 Great, good. 00:15:13.600 --> 00:15:19.520 I'm excited for the cavalry scene in Star Wars, where it's like the horses against... 00:15:19.540 --> 00:15:23.300 Gandalf shows up, and he's leading an attack of space horses. 00:15:23.320 --> 00:15:24.100 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:15:24.260 --> 00:15:27.580 Is Gandalf a Grey Jedi or like a Jedi? 00:15:27.600 --> 00:15:31.940 Well, Gandalf the Grey is probably a Grey Jedi, but Gandalf the White seems pretty... 00:15:32.240 --> 00:15:33.420 Saviouristic. 00:15:33.680 --> 00:15:34.880 Decidedly, yeah. 00:15:34.900 --> 00:15:37.900 He's sort of a Gandalf the White Saviour of sorts. 00:15:37.940 --> 00:15:40.280 Yeah, I think he's pretty solidly a Jedi. 00:15:40.300 --> 00:15:42.300 I can't imagine going from a Grey Jedi to a Jedi. 00:15:43.100 --> 00:15:45.500 I mean, he did die and get reincarnated, so that helps. 00:15:45.680 --> 00:15:50.020 I will say, I am shocked that Sir Ian McKellen did not play a Jedi. 00:15:50.180 --> 00:15:52.800 That feels like kind of a shoe-in. 00:15:52.820 --> 00:15:54.700 That feels like it should have just happened. 00:15:55.200 --> 00:15:58.280 But, you know, I didn't write Star Wars yet. 00:16:00.180 --> 00:16:06.960 Stay tuned for 101 Uses of Lightsabers, the new Star Wars book that I'm going to put out. 00:16:07.840 --> 00:16:11.060 And with that, I think we can close our lightsaber discussion. 00:16:11.840 --> 00:16:14.600 I'm so glad the lightsaber discourse is done forever. 00:16:14.620 --> 00:16:16.240 We killed Star Wars. 00:16:16.480 --> 00:16:17.460 With a lightsaber? 00:16:17.820 --> 00:16:19.060 And we cauterized the wound. 00:16:19.140 --> 00:16:20.420 There's nothing coming out of there. 00:16:20.440 --> 00:16:23.780 I'm so glad Episode 9 doesn't exist anymore. 00:16:24.400 --> 00:16:25.300 We're just chopping it off. 00:16:25.320 --> 00:16:26.920 We're just taking one episode at a time. 00:16:26.940 --> 00:16:28.640 Taking it from both sides. 00:16:28.660 --> 00:16:31.280 So nine's gone, next one, we're coming for you. 00:16:31.460 --> 00:16:32.540 So I have a craver. 00:16:32.720 --> 00:16:34.080 Well, I should hope that you do. 00:16:34.400 --> 00:16:38.220 Have you ever signed up on the internet for any sort of account? 00:16:41.140 --> 00:16:49.840 You like put in your name and your email and your password, and then you get to a screen and it's like, can you click the box? 00:16:49.860 --> 00:16:50.860 You agree, right? 00:16:51.400 --> 00:16:53.380 How many times have you read the... 00:16:53.400 --> 00:16:53.720 Never. 00:16:54.540 --> 00:16:56.520 Maybe once or a couple of times, probably. 00:16:56.540 --> 00:16:57.280 The whole thing? 00:16:57.300 --> 00:17:01.960 I think I've read maybe one that was fairly short, like once or twice. 00:17:02.200 --> 00:17:03.360 Okay, cool, cool, cool. 00:17:03.440 --> 00:17:04.660 But very rarely. 00:17:04.700 --> 00:17:06.060 Nobody reads them. 00:17:06.440 --> 00:17:14.880 Like, people should, you should be aware of what you are agreeing to, but legal language is dense. 00:17:15.240 --> 00:17:15.940 And bad. 00:17:16.080 --> 00:17:17.680 It's that way on purpose. 00:17:17.680 --> 00:17:18.680 It is that way on purpose. 00:17:18.760 --> 00:17:25.880 And what I'm craving is like terms and conditions that are easy to understand and read. 00:17:25.900 --> 00:17:28.380 Oowoo, we take your data, please. 00:17:28.860 --> 00:17:30.820 I have the solution instantly. 00:17:30.840 --> 00:17:32.400 So we're gonna make an app. 00:17:32.840 --> 00:17:35.740 It's gonna be called Lawyer to Human. 00:17:37.740 --> 00:17:41.800 We're just gonna like make a new language in Google Translate called Lawyer. 00:17:41.820 --> 00:17:42.920 Yeah, exactly. 00:17:42.940 --> 00:17:46.320 And it's gonna translate legal to human. 00:17:46.340 --> 00:17:51.460 Maybe it should be legally human because Lawyer to Human implies that lawyers are human. 00:17:51.600 --> 00:17:53.400 Wait, there's sharks. 00:17:53.880 --> 00:17:55.780 I don't think that all lawyers are sharks. 00:17:56.060 --> 00:17:57.140 Some lawyers are good. 00:17:57.140 --> 00:18:01.240 Shout out to the lawyers who are helping people with the wet switch and protests and stuff. 00:18:01.640 --> 00:18:03.400 All other lawyers are bad. 00:18:03.740 --> 00:18:05.080 Legal to Human, it's an app. 00:18:05.100 --> 00:18:06.660 It translates it instantly. 00:18:07.120 --> 00:18:08.560 And we'll have the lawyers work on it. 00:18:08.720 --> 00:18:13.880 I don't know if you've ever read or signed a non-disclosure agreement with a company. 00:18:14.040 --> 00:18:15.380 Or at all. 00:18:15.400 --> 00:18:16.800 No, I don't think that I have, actually. 00:18:16.820 --> 00:18:18.400 I know lots of people who have. 00:18:18.420 --> 00:18:20.060 I know lots of people who work in animation. 00:18:20.340 --> 00:18:21.100 They're dense. 00:18:21.100 --> 00:18:22.740 They're hard to read. 00:18:22.880 --> 00:18:24.040 And it's boring. 00:18:24.060 --> 00:18:32.880 And it is that way on purpose because you, as an individual, are not supposed to be able to take this and do something with it. 00:18:32.900 --> 00:18:33.400 Uh-huh. 00:18:33.720 --> 00:18:35.040 And I want to do something. 00:18:35.060 --> 00:18:40.040 I want to be able to be like, yeah, I'll sign this because I perfectly understand what is happening. 00:18:40.060 --> 00:18:45.820 So maybe we need to go even further because the problem with the app, and again, it's a perfect idea, super easy to make. 00:18:45.840 --> 00:18:49.980 The thing about it is you would have to put this agreement into the app. 00:18:49.980 --> 00:18:50.920 You can't always do that. 00:18:50.940 --> 00:18:56.720 If you're in someone's office and they're having you sign something and you have to be like, oh god, I have to do it right now. 00:18:56.860 --> 00:18:58.460 So what's our solution there, Clair? 00:18:58.840 --> 00:18:59.480 Oh, I know. 00:18:59.980 --> 00:19:03.580 So I think we need to ban the words hence and therefore. 00:19:04.480 --> 00:19:05.100 And that's it. 00:19:05.120 --> 00:19:06.840 That's the whole solution. 00:19:07.140 --> 00:19:09.520 I think everything else just falls into place. 00:19:09.560 --> 00:19:15.560 So you're saying that we will ban those words therefore we will... 00:19:17.440 --> 00:19:17.800 Dad. 00:19:17.820 --> 00:19:20.480 I'm going to prison now. 00:19:20.660 --> 00:19:21.620 You're going to legal prison. 00:19:22.440 --> 00:19:22.780 What? 00:19:22.860 --> 00:19:24.180 You're going to legal prison. 00:19:24.200 --> 00:19:25.240 I'm going to legal prison. 00:19:25.260 --> 00:19:28.280 I think that's called a prison. 00:19:28.640 --> 00:19:30.480 I think that's called prison. 00:19:30.560 --> 00:19:37.340 Legal prison is a smaller prison inside of a prison where you're just forced to read legal documents all day. 00:19:37.360 --> 00:19:37.940 I hate it. 00:19:37.960 --> 00:19:38.420 Wow. 00:19:38.420 --> 00:19:38.860 Yeah. 00:19:39.160 --> 00:19:40.560 Isn't that called law school? 00:19:43.320 --> 00:19:47.220 Okay, but actually, like, there are some examples of, like, good terms and conditions. 00:19:47.540 --> 00:19:49.060 Google, for all its... 00:19:49.520 --> 00:19:49.820 Evil. 00:19:50.080 --> 00:19:50.380 Yeah. 00:19:50.600 --> 00:19:55.620 They are trying to make their terms and conditions more readable in all of their products. 00:19:55.800 --> 00:19:57.300 And they're not the first. 00:19:57.480 --> 00:20:00.780 They're just one of the loudest more recently. 00:20:01.280 --> 00:20:03.740 I've read good terms and conditions. 00:20:04.080 --> 00:20:08.640 Good terms and conditions will tell you exactly what data they are saving. 00:20:08.720 --> 00:20:11.220 And they will tell you exactly what data they will sell. 00:20:11.560 --> 00:20:14.160 And I have feelings about that. 00:20:14.240 --> 00:20:16.320 Yeah, which is better than nothing. 00:20:16.540 --> 00:20:23.420 My real genuine answer here is that, like, I think that we need government policy to, like, pass. 00:20:23.420 --> 00:20:24.300 Regulations, yes. 00:20:24.300 --> 00:20:31.100 We need regulation in order to force companies to actually be clear and transparent about what their terms and conditions are saying. 00:20:31.300 --> 00:20:35.140 And also what constitutes the ability to sell data. 00:20:35.260 --> 00:20:36.120 Exactly, right? 00:20:36.220 --> 00:20:39.420 Consumer protections are not a thing that are unheard of. 00:20:39.440 --> 00:20:44.380 It's just a thing that has been heavily weakened by decades upon decades of conservative policy. 00:20:44.680 --> 00:20:50.680 And also the combination that data traveling as fast as it does now is a new thing. 00:20:50.700 --> 00:20:56.100 It's absolutely a new thing and a lot of government has never been prepared for it. 00:20:56.120 --> 00:20:57.340 And certainly is not prepared for it. 00:20:57.640 --> 00:21:00.880 And often doesn't care because they are being lobbied or bought or whatever. 00:21:00.900 --> 00:21:04.860 But in a perfect world, I mean in a perfect world, they are selling our data. 00:21:05.120 --> 00:21:20.360 In a better world, we could absolutely, I think, institute policy solutions that would help a lot here, clarify things to put restrictions on what sort of data you're allowed to sell, and when you're allowed to sell it, and having opt-outs and stuff like that. 00:21:21.480 --> 00:21:23.000 So overthrow the government? 00:21:23.680 --> 00:21:24.820 That's my solution. 00:21:24.840 --> 00:21:25.440 Alright, cool. 00:21:26.100 --> 00:21:29.100 If we want to set the terms and conditions, we simply overthrow the government. 00:21:29.120 --> 00:21:38.960 We will provide the government with a legal document that if they do not meet the exact requirements of the government, they are ours now. 00:21:39.440 --> 00:21:41.200 Okay, how do we get them to sign it? 00:21:41.320 --> 00:21:42.240 What's in it for them? 00:21:42.340 --> 00:21:46.660 You see, there's a term in it where if they don't sign it, then they agree to it. 00:21:46.760 --> 00:21:51.220 And if they do sign it, then they have to follow a ritual. 00:21:51.340 --> 00:21:53.220 What if we do rituals instead? 00:21:53.940 --> 00:21:55.620 Ooh, rituals. 00:21:55.640 --> 00:21:56.500 That's sort of like... 00:21:56.520 --> 00:21:57.360 Come into rituals. 00:21:57.380 --> 00:22:01.540 That's sort of like law, but it's a lot more realistic. 00:22:01.560 --> 00:22:02.220 Blood law. 00:22:02.420 --> 00:22:03.740 It's like blood law. 00:22:03.760 --> 00:22:05.620 It's like you sign a contract. 00:22:05.760 --> 00:22:07.420 But now we are blood buddies. 00:22:08.840 --> 00:22:10.660 And now we will not sell your data. 00:22:10.680 --> 00:22:11.640 And that's what they say. 00:22:11.660 --> 00:22:18.520 They say that's when people do rituals, they're like, no, we are blood buddies. 00:22:18.560 --> 00:22:23.600 It's a very friendly sort of ritual. 00:22:23.980 --> 00:22:25.560 We only do friendly witchcraft. 00:22:25.640 --> 00:22:30.200 Everybody put a little bit of their blood in the chalice, and we're all going to drink from it. 00:22:30.360 --> 00:22:33.780 Now we are bound by the laws of the government. 00:22:35.720 --> 00:22:38.860 I feel like that's kind of just how our society operates. 00:22:38.940 --> 00:22:40.840 You know, I think we live in a society, Clair. 00:22:40.860 --> 00:22:46.300 It's kind of like how a deal isn't closed until you shake on it. 00:22:46.320 --> 00:22:48.620 Right, that's legally binding. 00:22:48.700 --> 00:22:52.780 So what if instead of handshaking, it's like blood buddies? 00:22:52.780 --> 00:22:55.860 So what if instead of terms and conditions, it's like blood buddies? 00:22:56.980 --> 00:23:00.180 Give a little bit of your blood, the company gives a little bit of their blood. 00:23:00.300 --> 00:23:02.940 Look, it's not terms and conditions, it's blood and blood. 00:23:03.140 --> 00:23:04.660 It's blood and blood. 00:23:05.080 --> 00:23:07.820 This is what people mean when they talk about blood, sweat and tears. 00:23:08.420 --> 00:23:12.880 All right, you put your blood, your sweat and your tears in a chalice and you drink from it. 00:23:13.360 --> 00:23:17.720 And now they sell your data, and you get to use your email. 00:23:18.000 --> 00:23:24.820 You can't become a CEO until you at least contribute a little bit of your blood, sweat and tears to each of your employees. 00:23:25.880 --> 00:23:32.080 Every time you hire a new employee, you just prick your finger, and they prick their finger, and you shake hands, and there you go. 00:23:33.880 --> 00:23:37.760 You know, we could have lived in a different world where that is actually the case. 00:23:38.120 --> 00:23:41.540 We could have lived in a world where that is just genuinely part of our tradition. 00:23:41.860 --> 00:23:44.620 We just think it's weird because we think blood is weird. 00:23:44.640 --> 00:23:45.680 I think blood is cool. 00:23:46.220 --> 00:23:51.020 I also think blood is cool, but we, as a society, we live in a blood irony. 00:23:51.380 --> 00:23:52.720 We live blood... 00:23:52.980 --> 00:23:53.700 Blood city. 00:23:53.720 --> 00:23:55.220 Blood city. 00:23:55.240 --> 00:23:56.600 Welcome to blood city. 00:23:58.980 --> 00:24:00.480 It's super normal here, actually. 00:24:00.500 --> 00:24:02.100 We just have a weird ass name. 00:24:02.120 --> 00:24:05.520 I don't know why we called it blood city, but uh... 00:24:05.760 --> 00:24:07.880 It's just because they really like the color red. 00:24:07.940 --> 00:24:09.420 Yeah, they actually just really like... 00:24:09.440 --> 00:24:11.480 Yeah, it's like a super nice place. 00:24:11.500 --> 00:24:23.900 Yeah, yeah, you like go in, you're like, blood city, and it's like a blood red, like all of the buildings, there's this blood red tint to the whole city, and all of the buildings are really like tall and menacing, and everyone meets like, hey, how you doing? 00:24:23.920 --> 00:24:25.480 Hey, welcome to blood city, how can I help you? 00:24:25.500 --> 00:24:26.360 Can I get you anything? 00:24:26.440 --> 00:24:27.600 Yeah, what do you need? 00:24:27.620 --> 00:24:29.840 Like, is this some sort of trap? 00:24:29.860 --> 00:24:31.120 What do you mean? 00:24:31.320 --> 00:24:34.220 Blood city, we strive to be as transparent as possible. 00:24:34.320 --> 00:24:36.120 Absolutely, no terms and conditions here. 00:24:36.140 --> 00:24:39.060 Look, blood may be opaque, but we're transparent. 00:24:40.120 --> 00:24:43.700 We're sort of more like saliva in that way. 00:24:43.720 --> 00:24:46.840 Slime-a-town, outskirts of blood city. 00:24:46.860 --> 00:24:48.980 Now that's a place you don't want to go. 00:24:51.160 --> 00:24:53.240 Oh, God, they kiss to close every deal. 00:24:53.260 --> 00:24:56.120 Yeah, we can't even get started on semenville. 00:25:04.940 --> 00:25:06.260 That's the one inside you, Jeno. 00:25:11.080 --> 00:25:15.960 What happens when someone from saliva-town and semenville make a demon? 00:25:16.960 --> 00:25:19.300 I was making an offhand joke. 00:25:19.500 --> 00:25:21.980 We don't need to explore it. 00:25:23.320 --> 00:25:24.580 How did they make a deal? 00:25:30.680 --> 00:25:34.180 They don't call me the cum gobbler because I'm not good at closing deals. 00:25:40.817 --> 00:25:45.037 I got that name by Blood, Sweat, Cum and Tears. 00:25:45.057 --> 00:25:48.517 You know, Bloodsucker has a very different connotation here. 00:25:54.257 --> 00:25:57.637 You know, I sort of have a Legally themed craving as well. 00:25:57.737 --> 00:25:58.237 Okay. 00:25:58.517 --> 00:26:02.057 The other night, I, for the first time, watched Legally Blonde. 00:26:02.297 --> 00:26:03.017 Oh my god. 00:26:03.037 --> 00:26:04.537 Yeah, not the musical. 00:26:04.697 --> 00:26:06.177 I still need to watch the musical. 00:26:06.737 --> 00:26:09.897 I don't understand why it's hailed as a feminist classic. 00:26:09.917 --> 00:26:12.157 Because it came out in the early 2000s. 00:26:12.237 --> 00:26:14.197 There, it doesn't exist in the early 2000s. 00:26:14.217 --> 00:26:14.637 You're right. 00:26:14.657 --> 00:26:15.077 You're right. 00:26:15.177 --> 00:26:16.497 It was super duper... 00:26:16.717 --> 00:26:24.197 There's a lot in that movie where I'm just like, is the moral of the story that some women are good and some women are bad? 00:26:24.217 --> 00:26:25.197 And that's feminism. 00:26:25.197 --> 00:26:26.417 And that's feminism. 00:26:26.437 --> 00:26:36.797 And also, you should defend the woman who does a weight loss thing and not tell anyone to her alibi is that she's getting liposuction because her weight thing is a scam. 00:26:36.817 --> 00:26:38.157 That is a thing that happened to Legally Blonde. 00:26:38.177 --> 00:26:39.457 Maybe the play is better. 00:26:39.477 --> 00:26:43.297 I think the play might be better because that bit in the movie is so pretty. 00:26:43.317 --> 00:26:44.357 Yeah, I don't remember that. 00:26:44.377 --> 00:26:48.977 Cause I've seen the most recently I've seen the play and I've seen it a couple of times. 00:26:48.997 --> 00:26:49.277 Yeah. 00:26:49.337 --> 00:26:50.657 And the music is great. 00:26:50.677 --> 00:26:51.817 I should probably watch the musical. 00:26:51.837 --> 00:26:52.737 I probably would really enjoy it. 00:26:52.757 --> 00:26:53.777 Is the movie a musical? 00:26:54.457 --> 00:26:56.637 Oh, I had assumed that the movie was a musical. 00:26:56.657 --> 00:26:58.577 No, I had also assumed. 00:26:58.637 --> 00:26:59.997 Here's the thing about Legally Blonde. 00:27:00.137 --> 00:27:01.717 I didn't like a lot. 00:27:01.737 --> 00:27:06.197 There's a lot in there that I do not like, but one thing I really like is the aesthetic of Legally Blonde. 00:27:06.217 --> 00:27:07.037 Oh, absolutely. 00:27:07.057 --> 00:27:09.117 And the vibes and the femininity and all of that. 00:27:09.277 --> 00:27:13.617 I had deeply this craving of like, damn, what if that was me? 00:27:13.717 --> 00:27:15.857 That was just the vibe and the craving. 00:27:15.877 --> 00:27:16.937 You wanna go to law school? 00:27:17.397 --> 00:27:23.677 More I want the aesthetic that Elle Woods has when going to law school or just in general. 00:27:23.777 --> 00:27:24.637 That's the vibe. 00:27:24.657 --> 00:27:30.037 She has this full pink suit look, and it's just incredible. 00:27:30.217 --> 00:27:35.377 In the movie, because in the play, she gets the pink suit in the penultimate scene. 00:27:35.397 --> 00:27:37.077 Does she wear that earlier in the movie? 00:27:37.097 --> 00:27:39.097 No, that's in the penultimate scene. 00:27:39.337 --> 00:27:40.157 That's in the penultimate scene. 00:27:40.177 --> 00:27:41.157 It's a really good outfit. 00:27:41.177 --> 00:27:42.417 It's an extremely good outfit. 00:27:42.417 --> 00:27:45.817 And she's just wearing extremely good outfits throughout the whole movie. 00:27:46.037 --> 00:27:51.997 The opening of the movie is just her having a great time and all of her sorority sisters are also really nice. 00:27:52.017 --> 00:27:52.777 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:27:52.917 --> 00:27:57.597 It's just a lot of femininity, and it's very good and cool and cute. 00:27:57.817 --> 00:28:00.217 I'm just like, this is a good vibe. 00:28:00.237 --> 00:28:01.477 And there's the shit bag. 00:28:01.677 --> 00:28:06.017 And there's the shit bag, and he sucks, but don't worry, there are also good men out there. 00:28:07.577 --> 00:28:11.137 Yeah, like, God, I've forgotten all of the characters' names. 00:28:11.157 --> 00:28:12.677 So have I, except for Elle Woods. 00:28:12.957 --> 00:28:16.717 Elle Woods, and oh, what was the professor's name? 00:28:17.057 --> 00:28:17.797 Callahan? 00:28:17.817 --> 00:28:18.677 Callahan. 00:28:19.377 --> 00:28:22.557 Callahan is a wild character. 00:28:22.737 --> 00:28:29.917 The worst done character in that movie is the other girl, is the shitbag's new fiance. 00:28:29.957 --> 00:28:31.197 I love her in the play. 00:28:31.377 --> 00:28:34.997 In the movie, she's like kind of really poorly handled. 00:28:35.317 --> 00:28:39.957 Oh, in the play, she's an asshole, and I guess, spoiler's really good. 00:28:39.977 --> 00:28:41.637 Spoiler's really good. 00:28:41.737 --> 00:28:49.877 In the play, she's like an asshole at first, and then she realizes the boy's kind of meh, and then they become friends. 00:28:50.077 --> 00:29:06.057 And that's sort of what happens in the play, in the movie, but then she sees Callahan sexually harassing Elle, and instead of helping Elle, she assumes that Elle is trying to sue the Callahan. 00:29:06.077 --> 00:29:09.057 Oh my God, that's literally opposite of what happens in the play. 00:29:09.077 --> 00:29:09.717 Oh, for real? 00:29:09.737 --> 00:29:13.097 Yeah, she's like, fuck Callahan, you do this. 00:29:13.657 --> 00:29:15.257 You're so much better at this. 00:29:15.357 --> 00:29:17.177 Yeah, no, that is not what happened in the movie. 00:29:17.357 --> 00:29:28.437 Yeah, see, this is why it's like a feminist thing, is it's like Callahan does that, and then it's like, okay, fuck these men, we're just gonna like take over this shit. 00:29:28.557 --> 00:29:38.697 In the movie version, it's like she says that, and then they're talking, and then she and the good dude are talking at one point, and he's like, no, he was like- 00:29:38.977 --> 00:29:40.817 The one who loves books so much. 00:29:40.837 --> 00:29:41.337 Yeah. 00:29:41.357 --> 00:29:42.777 There's a whole song about it. 00:29:42.917 --> 00:29:45.317 That is not a thing in the movie. 00:29:45.997 --> 00:29:53.557 But he basically is like, well, no, actually, the professor was sexually harassing her, and she's like, oh, no, I've made a huge mistake. 00:29:53.577 --> 00:29:56.637 And then nothing follows after that with her at all. 00:29:56.757 --> 00:30:02.297 The person who tells Elle that she's good actually, and that she should do it is a female professor. 00:30:03.757 --> 00:30:06.977 Who has one scene kind of at the beginning of the movie. 00:30:06.997 --> 00:30:09.497 Yeah, is not a character in the play, I don't know. 00:30:09.517 --> 00:30:10.477 What about the hairdresser? 00:30:10.857 --> 00:30:12.537 The hairdresser is still there. 00:30:12.557 --> 00:30:13.257 Is she Irish? 00:30:13.617 --> 00:30:14.297 No, she's- 00:30:14.317 --> 00:30:16.197 Fuck, that's her character. 00:30:17.077 --> 00:30:23.877 No, she's not Irish, she's also just a blonde, kind of buffoonish lady. 00:30:23.917 --> 00:30:26.377 With the mailman who falls in love with her. 00:30:26.397 --> 00:30:27.937 That's cute, that's cute and good. 00:30:27.957 --> 00:30:29.677 That song is amazing. 00:30:29.697 --> 00:30:32.957 God, I can only imagine how much better this would be with music. 00:30:33.237 --> 00:30:40.197 And she does an Irish jig with the mailman at the penultimate song. 00:30:40.217 --> 00:30:41.517 That's cute and good. 00:30:41.537 --> 00:30:43.937 It's so good, the song is so good. 00:30:44.057 --> 00:30:48.317 I feel like what I want is probably the aesthetic and vibe that the musical has. 00:30:48.337 --> 00:30:50.517 Because I think the movie fumbles it pretty severely. 00:30:50.537 --> 00:30:51.937 Yeah, it clearly does. 00:30:51.957 --> 00:30:53.557 So I want that vibe. 00:30:53.697 --> 00:30:59.517 Here's the thing, Legally Blonde and a lot of these types of movies could be a lot better if they weren't so fucking hip. 00:31:00.797 --> 00:31:08.737 It's just, the problem with the Legally Blonde movie is that they have to be like, oh, but there's this other man who's good and she gets with him. 00:31:08.877 --> 00:31:17.717 I mean, can you just imagine the play, but instead of the book boy, it's the girl who is dating the boyfriend. 00:31:17.737 --> 00:31:25.537 But like, they just don't talk about it for a while because the shitty ex-boyfriend, like, doesn't mention it because he's like that. 00:31:25.977 --> 00:31:30.817 Because I know lots of people like that where it's like, oh, you're friends with this person. 00:31:30.857 --> 00:31:31.497 Great. 00:31:31.537 --> 00:31:32.897 I'm not going to say anything. 00:31:33.117 --> 00:31:35.457 And so like, they grow their friendship. 00:31:35.517 --> 00:31:40.957 And then like, and then the penultimate scene happens with the shitty professor Callahan doing the shit. 00:31:41.277 --> 00:31:43.177 And then they work together. 00:31:43.197 --> 00:31:45.697 And it's like, no, we fucking got this together. 00:31:45.997 --> 00:31:46.377 And what? 00:31:46.437 --> 00:31:47.377 Like, I'm with you. 00:31:47.417 --> 00:31:49.377 And then they kiss afterwards. 00:31:49.457 --> 00:31:50.077 I like that. 00:31:50.217 --> 00:31:51.057 I like that a lot. 00:31:51.117 --> 00:31:52.537 Do they do the scene? 00:31:52.897 --> 00:31:59.717 There's a song in the play about the person couldn't have been the boyfriend because he's gay. 00:31:59.977 --> 00:32:04.817 Yes, that's a that's a thing and a bit that they do in the in the movie. 00:32:04.837 --> 00:32:07.017 Is it fun and whimsical like it is in the play? 00:32:07.357 --> 00:32:08.937 Or is it really homophobic? 00:32:09.057 --> 00:32:10.137 It's pretty homophobic. 00:32:11.357 --> 00:32:12.197 What is it? 00:32:12.217 --> 00:32:16.017 It's kind of homophobic in the play, but it's more whimsical. 00:32:16.177 --> 00:32:33.037 It's like in the movie, it's he makes some sort of bitchy comment about her last season Prada shoes and she's like, and she runs into the courtroom to how it is like, he must be gay because he wouldn't know what shoes are if he was straight. 00:32:33.137 --> 00:32:35.537 And then this is where it somehow gets worse. 00:32:35.857 --> 00:32:38.477 The book guy, I guess he's associated with books. 00:32:38.497 --> 00:32:40.717 He's not associated with books in the movie all that much. 00:32:41.577 --> 00:32:48.857 But he goes up and he's like cross-examining this witness and is like asking the dude a bunch of questions. 00:32:48.937 --> 00:32:50.977 And then he's like, it's a rapid fire question. 00:32:50.997 --> 00:32:53.797 And then his last one is, and your boyfriend's name is, and the dude's like, Carl. 00:32:54.677 --> 00:32:55.417 Carl? 00:32:55.417 --> 00:32:56.357 Or something like that. 00:32:56.377 --> 00:33:00.477 He does do that in the song, but it's very like, it's great and good. 00:33:00.497 --> 00:33:02.177 That's an all right moment. 00:33:02.217 --> 00:33:10.277 But then, and then he's like, actually, I thought you said friend, and then the boyfriend gets up from the audience, and he's like, oh, how dare you? 00:33:10.297 --> 00:33:15.177 You know, I thought we were, you know, more than that, and blah, blah, blah, and it's a whole mess. 00:33:15.197 --> 00:33:17.197 Yeah, that happens in the play. 00:33:17.217 --> 00:33:18.817 It's just not especially whimsical. 00:33:19.757 --> 00:33:20.037 Right. 00:33:20.057 --> 00:33:21.597 So it's all like very fast. 00:33:21.637 --> 00:33:26.337 A, it feels like it would be better if it was part of a song, and B, it's not especially whimsical. 00:33:26.377 --> 00:33:28.137 It's more kind of just homophobic. 00:33:29.057 --> 00:33:32.037 Which, you know, that's about what I'm expecting from this. 00:33:32.257 --> 00:33:35.877 I think what I want is Legally Blonde, but better. 00:33:35.897 --> 00:33:36.737 The musical. 00:33:36.837 --> 00:33:39.477 Yeah, I think I want Legally Blonde, the musical. 00:33:39.557 --> 00:33:44.137 There's a sort of double craving here, which is I want Legally Blonde to be better. 00:33:44.437 --> 00:33:49.357 And also, I'm gonna work of that fucking hyperfemininity, like, good shit. 00:33:49.377 --> 00:34:00.237 Can you imagine, like, that final court scene where it's like, I know he's gay, not because of that whole thing, but because we went to, like, a queer party together on campus, and I saw him there. 00:34:00.737 --> 00:34:01.477 God, yeah. 00:34:01.497 --> 00:34:03.057 Like, I know who that is. 00:34:03.217 --> 00:34:05.137 I should listen to that musical again. 00:34:05.337 --> 00:34:06.697 I should maybe watch that musical. 00:34:06.877 --> 00:34:08.077 That sounds like a better version. 00:34:08.097 --> 00:34:08.917 Let's go see Legally Blonde. 00:34:08.937 --> 00:34:10.377 Let's just go see Legally Blonde. 00:34:10.557 --> 00:34:14.197 This was me going, like, hey, what the fuck is up with this movie? 00:34:14.197 --> 00:34:17.377 And finding out that actually musical is about 10 times better. 00:34:17.837 --> 00:34:38.437 I feel like it's better, not because the content is different, but because when it's a two and a half minute song, you understand why things move faster or recontextualize, versus when it's a movie and you're just saying the words of the song, it's like, oh, you're just saying shitty things instead of like summarizing via song. 00:34:39.297 --> 00:34:45.337 I will say the person who plays Elle Woods in the movie is excellent, does an excellent job. 00:34:45.597 --> 00:34:51.797 And also it happens to be a like was not at the time, but now is a disabled badass. 00:34:51.857 --> 00:34:52.377 Hell yeah. 00:34:52.397 --> 00:34:53.257 That's really cool. 00:34:53.597 --> 00:35:01.217 No, it's actually the person who plays, the one who I was thinking of as the person who plays Vivian in the movie is Selma Blair. 00:35:01.357 --> 00:35:02.437 Selma Blair. 00:35:02.457 --> 00:35:03.097 She's excellent. 00:35:03.197 --> 00:35:06.397 Elle Woods is actually just Reese Witherspoon, who does an excellent job as well. 00:35:07.257 --> 00:35:08.657 But she also played Selma Blair. 00:35:09.277 --> 00:35:09.637 Hell yeah. 00:35:09.657 --> 00:35:10.037 Who's great. 00:35:10.317 --> 00:35:11.657 Let's go watch a musical. 00:35:11.677 --> 00:35:12.857 Let's go watch a musical. 00:35:12.897 --> 00:35:15.097 Do you wanna watch a musical? 00:35:15.997 --> 00:35:19.837 It doesn't have to be a movie. 00:35:20.697 --> 00:35:22.657 Also, I keep thinking about dyeing my hair blonde. 00:35:22.657 --> 00:35:25.977 I don't know that I'm actually gonna do it, but it could be fun. 00:35:26.017 --> 00:35:27.597 So I have a craving. 00:35:27.897 --> 00:35:28.577 Tell me your craving. 00:35:28.597 --> 00:35:29.497 I'll have a theme. 00:35:29.577 --> 00:35:32.757 So not only should we have terms and conditions that make sense. 00:35:32.977 --> 00:35:34.077 Legally blonde should be better. 00:35:34.277 --> 00:35:35.937 We should have legally blonde that makes sense. 00:35:37.937 --> 00:35:40.157 No, my craving is owning your data. 00:35:40.817 --> 00:35:47.477 I hate that when you sign up for a company, they own the data that you give them. 00:35:47.497 --> 00:35:47.877 Uh-huh. 00:35:48.457 --> 00:35:49.857 I don't think that's fair. 00:35:51.697 --> 00:35:54.257 Data is currency as far as I'm concerned. 00:35:54.497 --> 00:36:01.357 So I think you own, I have the craving where I want to see people own their data. 00:36:01.577 --> 00:36:02.857 Yeah, work it. 00:36:03.397 --> 00:36:06.597 You choose who can use your information. 00:36:07.217 --> 00:36:09.717 And you can revoke that access at any time. 00:36:09.737 --> 00:36:13.037 I think people really need to own their data, really need to like- 00:36:13.057 --> 00:36:14.177 Really come into their data. 00:36:14.197 --> 00:36:16.557 Yeah, like really work it with their data. 00:36:16.597 --> 00:36:18.097 Yeah, data workouts. 00:36:19.077 --> 00:36:20.697 Yeah, absolutely. 00:36:20.697 --> 00:36:21.877 Work out your data. 00:36:22.117 --> 00:36:25.697 Hi, my name is Tawny Buck, and I am a data workout specialist. 00:36:25.917 --> 00:36:27.057 Exercise your data. 00:36:27.077 --> 00:36:33.377 Today, we're gonna spend 10 minutes warming up our data, and then we're gonna use our glutes to get our data to our top notch. 00:36:33.397 --> 00:36:36.217 So I think I know the best way to get people to own their data. 00:36:36.237 --> 00:36:38.457 Yeah, is it a workout video? 00:36:38.477 --> 00:36:40.317 So, I mean, the workout video- 00:36:40.337 --> 00:36:45.577 It's a 1980s style workout video with the full on headband, arm bands and leg bands. 00:36:45.597 --> 00:36:53.717 Well, maybe that can be our way in, because I know how we're gonna get our data back, digitalized. 00:36:54.177 --> 00:36:54.817 We're gonna hack. 00:36:54.837 --> 00:36:56.437 We're gonna hack the mainframe. 00:36:56.457 --> 00:36:57.677 We're hacking the mainframe. 00:36:57.697 --> 00:36:58.737 We're hackers now. 00:36:59.177 --> 00:37:10.037 We're gonna go to Grand Central Station and plug in to the telephone booths there and do a hackathon where we hack the planet. 00:37:10.757 --> 00:37:13.277 Just like in the classic 90s movie, Hackers. 00:37:15.437 --> 00:37:16.697 And we're gonna get our data back. 00:37:17.897 --> 00:37:21.497 So, what are some of the obstacles that are set up for us? 00:37:21.517 --> 00:37:26.317 Because the first step to owning your data is getting all of the data back that has been taken from you. 00:37:26.517 --> 00:37:30.537 We'll figure out how to prevent any more of our data from getting taken after. 00:37:30.557 --> 00:37:32.017 But first, we gotta get our data back. 00:37:32.077 --> 00:37:33.177 Let's go down this road. 00:37:33.197 --> 00:37:36.497 But just to be clear, in my mind, it doesn't mean getting your data back. 00:37:36.517 --> 00:37:44.697 It means if you say, you can no longer use my data, they are legally not allowed to use your data in any capacity. 00:37:44.997 --> 00:37:46.717 Anyways, let's get our data back. 00:37:46.737 --> 00:37:51.697 You're absolutely right, and we will institute that, but first, we gotta get our data back. 00:37:51.957 --> 00:37:54.677 Okay, for whatever reason, we're gonna get our data back. 00:37:56.217 --> 00:37:57.277 It's a good drive. 00:37:57.637 --> 00:37:58.797 How do we get our data back? 00:37:58.877 --> 00:38:00.917 How do we hack into the mainframe and get our data? 00:38:01.137 --> 00:38:10.577 I have a computer science degree, so I can say with certainty that any hacker, you have to have really fast hands. 00:38:10.777 --> 00:38:13.257 So I think it's a lot of finger exercises. 00:38:14.257 --> 00:38:22.337 If NCIS taught me anything in the time I watched it, it is helpful to have two people typing on one keyboard. 00:38:22.837 --> 00:38:24.917 Which is a thing that happens. 00:38:25.117 --> 00:38:35.377 So in an episode of NCIS, a show I watched much longer than I would like to admit, there is an episode where they get hacked and are rapidly trying to stop the hack. 00:38:35.517 --> 00:38:42.757 And as a part of rapidly trying to stop the hack, two of them end up typing on the same keyboard at once. 00:38:42.777 --> 00:38:43.377 Wow. 00:38:43.397 --> 00:38:44.557 It's extremely good. 00:38:44.817 --> 00:38:51.877 And then the actual way they stop the hack is the big grumpy grump dude who doesn't know technology, just unplugs the computer. 00:38:52.397 --> 00:38:53.697 And that's how they stop the hack. 00:38:58.797 --> 00:39:00.457 NCIS is awful. 00:39:00.497 --> 00:39:02.117 It's extremely bad. 00:39:02.117 --> 00:39:02.777 That moment. 00:39:02.797 --> 00:39:07.677 But that is accurate to how hacking works, right? 00:39:07.917 --> 00:39:09.517 What if we simply unplug it? 00:39:09.637 --> 00:39:11.477 What if we just unplug the data? 00:39:11.497 --> 00:39:18.437 What if we go in and unplug the data, therefore eliminating the data? 00:39:19.297 --> 00:39:20.257 Then we can... 00:39:20.277 --> 00:39:22.437 Yeah, okay, actually. 00:39:22.457 --> 00:39:23.317 Okay, all right, all right. 00:39:23.337 --> 00:39:23.777 I got it. 00:39:24.877 --> 00:39:28.637 So I recently started working for a company that writes software for data centers. 00:39:29.797 --> 00:39:34.537 So I'm just gonna write a thing that turns off all the data centers. 00:39:34.617 --> 00:39:36.897 And instead replaces it with a workout video. 00:39:39.277 --> 00:39:41.837 Every piece of data is a workout video now. 00:39:43.157 --> 00:39:44.097 Yes, exactly. 00:39:44.317 --> 00:39:47.957 All the data centers just have a workout video instead. 00:39:48.077 --> 00:39:52.777 So like you open YouTube, it's like, ah, it's this new Breath of the Wild speed run. 00:39:52.977 --> 00:39:54.257 I'm really interested in this. 00:39:55.017 --> 00:39:56.297 It's six hours long. 00:39:56.317 --> 00:39:56.557 Great. 00:39:56.737 --> 00:39:58.657 I'm gonna click it. 00:39:58.677 --> 00:40:01.017 Oh, it's a workout video. 00:40:01.097 --> 00:40:01.757 What? 00:40:01.897 --> 00:40:02.537 What's happening? 00:40:02.557 --> 00:40:03.577 Is it some sort of bit? 00:40:03.597 --> 00:40:04.297 I don't understand. 00:40:04.317 --> 00:40:05.677 I guess this is just the intro. 00:40:06.417 --> 00:40:06.937 I guess I'll just... 00:40:07.117 --> 00:40:08.757 Oh, no, it's been ten minutes now. 00:40:08.777 --> 00:40:10.497 They're still going. 00:40:10.517 --> 00:40:13.977 It's actually a live workout. 00:40:14.237 --> 00:40:16.057 It's a live stream workout. 00:40:16.117 --> 00:40:16.657 All right. 00:40:17.217 --> 00:40:19.237 We are replacing all data with live streams. 00:40:19.297 --> 00:40:20.697 Welcome to Twitch, everyone. 00:40:24.397 --> 00:40:29.257 The actual science part of me is cringing, but I love this. 00:40:29.257 --> 00:40:29.757 Yeah. 00:40:29.997 --> 00:40:34.177 I mean, this is all just the getting the data back section, right? 00:40:34.197 --> 00:40:35.817 That's okay. 00:40:35.997 --> 00:40:38.257 Are we getting it back by just deleting it? 00:40:39.477 --> 00:40:40.397 Do you need your data? 00:40:40.657 --> 00:40:41.437 Yeah, sure. 00:40:41.457 --> 00:40:41.917 Why not? 00:40:41.937 --> 00:40:42.957 You're right. 00:40:42.977 --> 00:40:43.957 We'll do a bait and switch. 00:40:43.977 --> 00:40:44.937 We'll do a bait and switch. 00:40:45.257 --> 00:40:46.217 It's sort of like... 00:40:46.237 --> 00:40:50.177 They get the workout video, we get the data, and then like, how do you carry your data around? 00:40:50.557 --> 00:40:51.497 Is it a briefcase? 00:40:51.517 --> 00:40:52.257 Is it a wallet? 00:40:52.277 --> 00:40:53.857 Is it like a little chewing gum? 00:40:53.917 --> 00:40:54.877 Like, when you... 00:40:54.877 --> 00:41:00.137 When I give you a piece of chewing gum, it's like, here, you can have my data, and you eat the chewing gum, and now you have my data. 00:41:00.937 --> 00:41:02.037 I think that that makes sense. 00:41:02.117 --> 00:41:08.677 It's sort of like in the first Indiana Jones movie, when he replaces the thing that's on the way to thing with a sandbag. 00:41:08.697 --> 00:41:10.717 It doesn't work there, but it works here. 00:41:10.957 --> 00:41:12.497 And you just keep it in your bag. 00:41:12.517 --> 00:41:15.077 You just keep your data ravelling around in your bag. 00:41:15.597 --> 00:41:24.517 It's also sort of like, I'm just really pulling from different influences, but it's sort of like in Pokemon Sun and Moon, how Lily keeps the... 00:41:25.317 --> 00:41:26.837 Nebby in a bag. 00:41:27.177 --> 00:41:32.397 That's the sort of vibe, is that if you open the bag, there's just your data floating around in there. 00:41:32.417 --> 00:41:34.597 Because data, as we all know, is a liquid. 00:41:34.957 --> 00:41:36.517 Okay, liquid data. 00:41:37.277 --> 00:41:38.017 All right. 00:41:38.317 --> 00:41:39.157 Here's an idea. 00:41:39.177 --> 00:41:42.097 So you know how cars need oil changes? 00:41:42.237 --> 00:41:42.637 Yes. 00:41:43.097 --> 00:41:50.617 What if when you give your data out, it only lasts for so long, and you have to give them a new little vial of your data? 00:41:50.637 --> 00:41:52.057 I see. 00:41:52.077 --> 00:41:54.237 So they can have your data for some time. 00:41:54.257 --> 00:41:55.777 Sort of like a data prescription. 00:41:56.237 --> 00:41:57.917 Yeah, you prescribe your data. 00:41:58.097 --> 00:41:59.237 Right, you prescribe your data. 00:41:59.257 --> 00:42:01.357 Instead of describe your data, you prescribe your data. 00:42:01.377 --> 00:42:04.077 Do you inject data in your bloodstream? 00:42:05.997 --> 00:42:08.477 I'm going to inject data into my bloodstream, become a cyborg. 00:42:10.317 --> 00:42:11.937 I'm going to know so much, Clair. 00:42:11.957 --> 00:42:15.677 I'm going to inject so much data into my bloodstream, I'm going to know so much. 00:42:15.697 --> 00:42:18.417 There's going to be people who are like, I just need more data. 00:42:18.437 --> 00:42:22.597 This is how robots become... 00:42:22.617 --> 00:42:24.557 It's like, look, I don't have enough data. 00:42:24.577 --> 00:42:26.037 I am a data hoarder. 00:42:27.477 --> 00:42:29.877 Welcome to my TV show, Data Hoarders. 00:42:29.897 --> 00:42:31.957 Today we're going to help this poor soul. 00:42:31.977 --> 00:42:34.357 They've been hoarding data for the past 50 years. 00:42:36.017 --> 00:42:41.597 They keep a collection of vials on their windowsill for data they don't want to use yet because it's their most precious data. 00:42:41.977 --> 00:42:48.197 You're also describing something that happened recently in part of them with Figure A. 00:42:48.557 --> 00:42:51.477 This is clearly something that we have established can happen to robots. 00:42:51.757 --> 00:42:55.957 My question is, how do we ensure that they can't steal any more of your data? 00:42:55.997 --> 00:42:58.797 Now, everyone has workout videos instead of the data. 00:42:58.817 --> 00:43:01.197 Well, I think that's the prescription, right? 00:43:02.757 --> 00:43:06.737 Like, even if they get their hands on your data, they only have it for so long. 00:43:06.937 --> 00:43:16.317 Oh, so you're sort of talking about inserting a depreservative into the liquid data to make sure that it expires after a certain amount of time. 00:43:16.337 --> 00:43:20.637 It's like when you have oil in your car, it gets used. 00:43:20.977 --> 00:43:24.217 You got to use your data to make sense of it. 00:43:24.537 --> 00:43:24.877 Right. 00:43:24.897 --> 00:43:25.957 But then you have less data. 00:43:25.977 --> 00:43:27.477 How do people use the data? 00:43:27.497 --> 00:43:28.417 They insert it. 00:43:28.877 --> 00:43:29.237 Where? 00:43:29.257 --> 00:43:31.837 Inject it into the computer. 00:43:31.997 --> 00:43:35.157 Into the computer, and then the computer knows the data, but only for so long. 00:43:35.157 --> 00:43:36.757 Only for so long, before the... 00:43:36.777 --> 00:43:38.137 It deteriorates slowly. 00:43:38.157 --> 00:43:39.217 Yeah, it deteriorates. 00:43:39.257 --> 00:43:40.377 As it is used. 00:43:40.397 --> 00:43:41.397 It uses up the data. 00:43:41.417 --> 00:43:43.257 Yeah, that makes a lot of sense to me. 00:43:43.277 --> 00:43:43.957 It's just a big vat of data. 00:43:45.197 --> 00:43:53.637 A computer is just, look, a computer is just a giant vat of liquid that you pour a collection of different data into. 00:43:53.657 --> 00:43:55.597 This is my data vat. 00:43:55.677 --> 00:43:57.717 What do you think a spherina is? 00:43:57.877 --> 00:44:03.777 It's just the data, the glass part of the tank of data. 00:44:04.817 --> 00:44:07.677 You know fish tanks are actually just data. 00:44:08.237 --> 00:44:12.637 I'm gonna make the coolest, most knowledgeable fish in the whole world. 00:44:12.657 --> 00:44:14.397 He's gonna be swimming in data. 00:44:14.697 --> 00:44:18.677 This gives a whole different meaning to water-cooled computers. 00:44:18.917 --> 00:44:21.637 Where it's just instead of water, it's just data. 00:44:21.717 --> 00:44:23.817 Your computer is just filled with data. 00:44:23.957 --> 00:44:25.557 Your computer is just filled with data. 00:44:25.617 --> 00:44:26.877 Distilled data. 00:44:26.897 --> 00:44:28.837 Welcome to my company, distilled data. 00:44:28.857 --> 00:44:32.157 What is distilled data like as opposed to raw data? 00:44:33.557 --> 00:44:44.417 Now, just to make the comparison, I was going with distilled water, and just to be clear, raw water is a thing, but it's not the thing that I think you meant it to be. 00:44:44.637 --> 00:44:46.477 Well, it sort of is. 00:44:47.037 --> 00:44:51.037 Because raw water is actually pretty toxic for you and not great. 00:44:51.997 --> 00:44:52.637 And not great. 00:44:52.657 --> 00:44:53.617 You shouldn't drink it. 00:44:53.637 --> 00:44:54.677 Don't drink raw water. 00:44:54.697 --> 00:45:03.157 Unless you're a celebrity influencer who pays billions of dollars for a bottle of raw water like they did in California last year or something. 00:45:03.177 --> 00:45:06.937 So don't drink raw water, and also don't inject raw data. 00:45:06.957 --> 00:45:08.237 Also don't drink distilled water. 00:45:08.477 --> 00:45:09.517 Yeah, also don't do that. 00:45:09.677 --> 00:45:11.037 Drink like normal. 00:45:11.057 --> 00:45:12.157 Just drink fucking water. 00:45:13.937 --> 00:45:19.177 You know, foily water, and then pour it on your face, and you're good. 00:45:19.197 --> 00:45:20.497 Immediately after boiling. 00:45:21.777 --> 00:45:24.677 I'm so glad we're not a water advice podcast. 00:45:24.697 --> 00:45:27.197 Welcome to a water tasting podcast. 00:45:28.117 --> 00:45:32.237 Today I'm going to describe the nuances of this water. 00:45:33.457 --> 00:45:34.277 Swish's water. 00:45:34.977 --> 00:45:35.617 This water is... 00:45:35.637 --> 00:45:37.837 I'm getting notes of getting oaky notes. 00:45:38.757 --> 00:45:39.757 I'm getting kind of... 00:45:39.777 --> 00:45:40.657 It's very buttery. 00:45:41.497 --> 00:45:44.057 I put butter in every glass of water. 00:45:46.997 --> 00:45:50.937 Look, you can have your raspberry flavoured water, but I want my butter water. 00:45:51.917 --> 00:45:54.917 Movie theatre butter in my water. 00:45:56.697 --> 00:46:03.137 I think it tastes like butter water. 00:46:03.177 --> 00:46:04.617 Are there data sommeliers? 00:46:05.937 --> 00:46:07.477 What is a sommelier? 00:46:07.497 --> 00:46:10.097 A sommelier is like a wine expert who... 00:46:10.097 --> 00:46:11.237 Oh yeah, absolutely. 00:46:11.257 --> 00:46:12.477 They're not data sommeliers. 00:46:12.497 --> 00:46:16.137 They just have their glass where they're just swirling... 00:46:17.417 --> 00:46:18.597 It's like... 00:46:18.617 --> 00:46:19.057 This smells... 00:46:19.077 --> 00:46:20.737 Oh, I'm getting a hint of John? 00:46:21.717 --> 00:46:22.957 There's something very... 00:46:23.097 --> 00:46:23.977 1990... 00:46:24.017 --> 00:46:24.877 Oh, 1990. 00:46:24.917 --> 00:46:26.177 Oh, 84. 00:46:26.337 --> 00:46:27.197 Oh, interesting. 00:46:27.277 --> 00:46:29.857 Oh, this is a particularly interesting email that I'm tasting. 00:46:31.717 --> 00:46:34.477 Bloodsucker in cumvill. 00:46:37.617 --> 00:46:42.517 At Gmail. 00:46:43.537 --> 00:46:45.237 This has been Salt Cravings. 00:46:45.577 --> 00:46:47.437 An extremely normal podcast. 00:46:47.457 --> 00:46:49.237 Extremely normal podcast. 00:46:49.397 --> 00:46:50.877 Find us in Blood City. 00:46:50.897 --> 00:46:53.017 At Salt Cravings. 00:46:53.057 --> 00:46:56.377 At Salt Cravings on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. 00:46:57.697 --> 00:46:58.677 And Blood Book. 00:47:00.857 --> 00:47:09.257 Also, you can leave us a review, and that would be super duper rad, on iTunes or on Stitcher, anywhere. 00:47:09.277 --> 00:47:12.397 Write it down on a piece of paper, put it in the fire, we'll get it. 00:47:12.417 --> 00:47:13.397 Yeah, we'll get it. 00:47:13.417 --> 00:47:14.997 It's sort of like, yeah. 00:47:15.017 --> 00:47:16.197 It's witchcraft. 00:47:16.217 --> 00:47:18.857 It's all witchcraft, including Patreon. 00:47:19.077 --> 00:47:20.637 You can give us a dollar on. 00:47:20.657 --> 00:47:21.797 Patreon is witchcraft. 00:47:21.937 --> 00:47:23.877 Yeah, give us a dollar on Patreon. 00:47:23.877 --> 00:47:24.157 It's witchcraft. 00:47:24.177 --> 00:47:27.677 It's witchcraft, and we will, in fact, use that money for rituals. 00:47:27.697 --> 00:47:29.377 If you want that, we'll do it. 00:47:30.017 --> 00:47:30.437 We will. 00:47:31.137 --> 00:47:32.297 Want to submit a craving? 00:47:32.837 --> 00:47:34.497 Submissions at saltcraving.com. 00:47:34.517 --> 00:47:35.577 Go email that right now. 00:47:35.597 --> 00:47:36.237 You already know. 00:47:36.997 --> 00:47:38.037 You know what your craving is. 00:47:39.037 --> 00:47:39.657 Let's be real. 00:47:40.717 --> 00:47:42.397 Take like five seconds. 00:47:42.417 --> 00:47:42.657 Yes. 00:47:42.717 --> 00:47:43.517 What are you craving? 00:47:43.537 --> 00:47:44.917 Let's do five seconds of silence. 00:47:45.177 --> 00:47:46.397 People can think of their cravings. 00:47:46.657 --> 00:47:47.117 All right, go. 00:47:53.197 --> 00:47:54.357 Submission is all cravings. 00:47:54.377 --> 00:47:55.517 Submission is all cravings. 00:47:55.537 --> 00:47:55.917 Right now. 00:47:55.937 --> 00:47:56.597 Right now, right now. 00:47:57.197 --> 00:47:58.037 All right, all right. 00:47:58.057 --> 00:47:58.417 This is it. 00:47:58.437 --> 00:47:58.857 That's the end. 00:47:59.037 --> 00:47:59.757 All right, we're going. 00:47:59.797 --> 00:48:00.457 We're done.