WEBVTT 00:00:25.700 --> 00:00:29.220 Hello, everyone, welcome to Salt Cravings. 00:00:29.240 --> 00:00:30.360 My name's Brianna. 00:00:30.720 --> 00:00:31.900 And my name's Clair. 00:00:32.440 --> 00:00:34.540 And we are not in the same room. 00:00:35.860 --> 00:00:38.560 Well, you see, the secret was we were never in the same room. 00:00:39.120 --> 00:00:40.820 Yeah, that's the secret. 00:00:40.980 --> 00:00:45.060 And it's definitely not a change that has happened because of Quarantine. 00:00:45.080 --> 00:00:46.340 Quarantine? 00:00:46.360 --> 00:00:46.980 Absolutely not. 00:00:47.120 --> 00:00:48.960 Is that like half of half and teen? 00:00:50.160 --> 00:00:52.320 It's like a court of teens. 00:00:52.920 --> 00:00:55.100 Oh no, that's really messy. 00:00:55.620 --> 00:00:57.540 Yeah, it's pretty messy, but that's- 00:00:57.680 --> 00:00:59.060 Wait, okay, all right, all right. 00:00:59.100 --> 00:01:01.920 I just wanna like, so like a court is really small. 00:01:02.280 --> 00:01:06.760 So are these teens like tiny or have you gone the like body horror route? 00:01:07.260 --> 00:01:10.040 I've gone the route of not body horror. 00:01:10.060 --> 00:01:10.980 They're very tiny teens. 00:01:11.000 --> 00:01:12.400 They're very tiny teens. 00:01:12.560 --> 00:01:20.040 The other day, me and some friends were having a conversation over the internet because hey, we can't leave our houses right now, fun fact. 00:01:20.580 --> 00:01:26.800 We were discussing how well we think we could take care of a phone sized person. 00:01:26.820 --> 00:01:28.220 What? 00:01:28.220 --> 00:01:30.640 Whoa, wait, which phone size? 00:01:30.660 --> 00:01:32.800 Cause like, are you talking about like a phone booth? 00:01:32.800 --> 00:01:34.160 Because then it's just a person. 00:01:34.180 --> 00:01:35.340 No, no, no. 00:01:35.360 --> 00:01:37.180 I mean like a cell phone. 00:01:38.220 --> 00:01:39.140 So a hamster. 00:01:39.340 --> 00:01:39.860 Yeah. 00:01:39.880 --> 00:01:41.420 How, how would that go for you? 00:01:41.480 --> 00:01:44.680 Well, I have a cat, so I feel like I could take care of a hamster. 00:01:45.580 --> 00:01:46.700 What was your answer? 00:01:46.800 --> 00:01:49.520 I mean, my answer is I think I could do it. 00:01:49.680 --> 00:01:57.660 It would be a challenge, especially if we were kind of thinking of them as like a child, and it feels like it'd be really easy to lose your child in that scenario. 00:01:59.180 --> 00:02:01.840 Okay, my child just fell between the couch cushions. 00:02:02.320 --> 00:02:04.800 Listen, it happens, you know? 00:02:05.080 --> 00:02:06.960 It's a thing that can happen to you. 00:02:07.200 --> 00:02:15.580 Anyway, if the audio sounds distinctly different between Clair and I, it's because I'm using my computer mic and Clair is using our normal mic. 00:02:15.600 --> 00:02:17.000 We are doing our best here. 00:02:17.460 --> 00:02:18.240 And you know what? 00:02:18.340 --> 00:02:19.720 It's all okay. 00:02:23.940 --> 00:02:33.100 I think really it's a testament to our love for our fans that we even have an episode over this period of time. 00:02:33.120 --> 00:02:34.800 Uh-huh. 00:02:34.820 --> 00:02:37.940 So without further ado, throw that ado out the window. 00:02:38.080 --> 00:02:39.060 Get that ado out of the quarantine. 00:02:39.080 --> 00:02:39.680 Are we done with the do? 00:02:40.040 --> 00:02:41.220 We're done with the do. 00:02:41.700 --> 00:02:42.840 Now we're into the cravings. 00:02:43.280 --> 00:02:47.300 Clair, if you would, please, what is your first craving? 00:02:47.620 --> 00:02:55.080 So I scrolled back through my sort of backlog and I found two cravings that are extremely relevant. 00:02:55.100 --> 00:02:56.560 So of course I had to go with them. 00:02:56.980 --> 00:03:05.120 So today I'm going to bring as my second craving, no spoilers, literally the first craving I ever put on the list. 00:03:05.920 --> 00:03:15.400 But before we get to that, my first craving, which is not the first craving that was ever on my list, try to keep up, is having a birth. 00:03:15.420 --> 00:03:16.340 No, it's pretty easy. 00:03:16.840 --> 00:03:19.080 It's two is one, but one is not one. 00:03:19.100 --> 00:03:20.480 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:03:20.500 --> 00:03:24.880 You know, just change the pointers, computer logic and funny jokes. 00:03:24.940 --> 00:03:35.620 Anyways, so my craving is having a birthday and getting to celebrate me with no guilt, which is very aft because I canceled my birthday this year because of the pandemic. 00:03:36.300 --> 00:03:38.100 So I'm really craving this. 00:03:38.320 --> 00:03:43.520 Yeah, it was, you know, it's one of those situations where it's the right call for everyone's health and safety. 00:03:43.560 --> 00:03:44.240 It absolutely is. 00:03:44.260 --> 00:03:46.160 But goddamnit, Clair, you deserve to celebrate you. 00:03:46.380 --> 00:03:52.160 I feel like a five-year-old where I'm like, eh, I don't understand, I can't have my birthday. 00:03:52.180 --> 00:03:55.380 But at the same time, I'm like, yes, I understand it's an extremely bad idea. 00:03:55.400 --> 00:03:58.260 But also like, I want, well, no, I don't want presents. 00:03:58.280 --> 00:04:02.380 I want people to celebrate me, come worship me for like five hours. 00:04:02.400 --> 00:04:04.080 I think you deserve that. 00:04:04.080 --> 00:04:04.900 I think you do. 00:04:04.920 --> 00:04:10.360 I think in the grand scheme of things, you should be worshiped by the people in your life. 00:04:10.480 --> 00:04:11.120 Oh God, okay. 00:04:11.500 --> 00:04:13.060 I think that makes sense. 00:04:13.380 --> 00:04:14.420 I mean, it makes sense. 00:04:14.760 --> 00:04:15.880 All hail Clair. 00:04:15.960 --> 00:04:16.640 All hail Clair. 00:04:16.660 --> 00:04:17.680 This is super normal. 00:04:17.700 --> 00:04:18.700 All hail Clair. 00:04:23.880 --> 00:04:25.880 Do we just have to kill the virus? 00:04:26.520 --> 00:04:27.220 I mean, I suspect- 00:04:27.240 --> 00:04:28.640 Do we have an E birthday? 00:04:28.660 --> 00:04:37.960 Yeah, I mean, there have been people who I know have been doing, who have birthdays around this time, who have been doing E birthdays of some kind. 00:04:37.980 --> 00:04:39.260 This is not just me. 00:04:39.280 --> 00:04:42.160 I've been seeing it happen to like a lot of people on my dashboard. 00:04:42.180 --> 00:04:45.260 Like a lot of people are very upset. 00:04:45.320 --> 00:04:49.780 Instead of being birthday boys and girls, they're being birthday E boys and E girls. 00:04:50.660 --> 00:04:55.920 And you could be a birthday E girl, I think. 00:04:55.960 --> 00:04:57.280 I think you have that in you. 00:04:57.300 --> 00:04:58.760 What is the energy- 00:04:58.780 --> 00:04:59.620 Go get your cat ears, Clair. 00:04:59.860 --> 00:05:01.560 Seems like a birthday E girl move. 00:05:01.640 --> 00:05:02.660 Wait, I'm trying to think. 00:05:02.680 --> 00:05:04.180 Do I have cat ears in my room? 00:05:04.500 --> 00:05:05.620 I might have broken them. 00:05:05.640 --> 00:05:06.900 I think I broke them. 00:05:07.300 --> 00:05:14.020 Yeah, I think I accidentally broke them one day because I wore them to like one event and then like, I don't even remember. 00:05:14.040 --> 00:05:16.740 They were nice, but they weren't that nice, so they broke. 00:05:17.360 --> 00:05:19.980 I'm not going to go get them because this is an audio medium. 00:05:21.340 --> 00:05:23.000 Fair, fair, fair, fair, fair, fair. 00:05:23.100 --> 00:05:24.620 I guess you can't be a birthday E girl. 00:05:24.640 --> 00:05:28.060 So we'll just have to come up with something else. 00:05:28.380 --> 00:05:33.480 What is it specifically that you're looking for that you couldn't get from doing an E birthday? 00:05:33.660 --> 00:05:38.900 Tell me, tell me what is it that is specifically related about having people come over to your place? 00:05:39.080 --> 00:05:43.340 Well, we'll see, the craving is about getting to celebrate me with no guilt. 00:05:43.580 --> 00:05:49.180 I guess I wrote this back in a time where I felt guilty about people thinking about me. 00:05:51.280 --> 00:05:52.400 I don't know if that's a mood. 00:05:52.620 --> 00:05:54.920 I don't feel that way anymore, but also- 00:05:54.940 --> 00:05:57.700 I definitely get that mood sometimes still though. 00:05:58.520 --> 00:06:00.940 I'm like, oh God, people are thinking about me. 00:06:00.960 --> 00:06:04.180 Oh no, how could I fucking do this to them? 00:06:04.200 --> 00:06:06.120 How could I be a presence in their life? 00:06:06.840 --> 00:06:09.660 We have to erase your presence from all of existence. 00:06:09.680 --> 00:06:10.440 That's the thing. 00:06:10.560 --> 00:06:12.340 It's like Matrix. 00:06:12.360 --> 00:06:14.180 They did that in The Matrix, right? 00:06:14.380 --> 00:06:16.520 I just saw The Matrix for the first time the other day. 00:06:18.060 --> 00:06:21.940 I don't think they erased someone's existence from The Matrix, but they probably could. 00:06:22.160 --> 00:06:22.960 Probably. 00:06:22.980 --> 00:06:26.760 I think if you get erased from The Matrix in that- 00:06:26.920 --> 00:06:28.380 You get erased in real life? 00:06:28.560 --> 00:06:33.720 Yeah, you're either jacked out or you have been erased from real life also. 00:06:35.280 --> 00:06:40.900 What's less guilt-causing than having people literally not have to expend the energy to leave their home? 00:06:41.600 --> 00:06:43.780 So what you're saying is never have a birthday again. 00:06:43.800 --> 00:06:44.660 Just never age. 00:06:44.680 --> 00:06:54.080 No, I'm saying if people can get into your birthday by just going on their computers, much less intensive. 00:06:54.280 --> 00:07:01.140 And they can celebrate you just as well with this new eBirthday party software that we're going to develop. 00:07:02.340 --> 00:07:03.400 What's it called? 00:07:04.220 --> 00:07:06.320 Please don't just tell me it's called eBirthday. 00:07:06.680 --> 00:07:07.520 No, it's called... 00:07:08.340 --> 00:07:09.600 No, I know what it is. 00:07:09.620 --> 00:07:10.540 I know what it is. 00:07:10.760 --> 00:07:13.200 Because the quarantine is happening, right? 00:07:13.220 --> 00:07:14.180 So it's birth and teen. 00:07:18.340 --> 00:07:18.980 What's better? 00:07:33.460 --> 00:07:34.460 Okay, birth book. 00:07:34.460 --> 00:07:35.900 So on birth book. 00:07:36.000 --> 00:07:37.980 God, no, none of these are good. 00:07:38.160 --> 00:07:39.780 I don't even care about the name. 00:07:39.880 --> 00:07:40.740 Use any of them. 00:07:40.760 --> 00:07:41.800 Interchange them. 00:07:41.820 --> 00:07:43.300 Just switch whatever you want. 00:07:44.700 --> 00:07:46.960 The thing about this app is it doesn't have one name. 00:07:49.280 --> 00:07:59.980 Quarantine Birth by Quarantine Birthday Birth Book is an app where you send out an invite, everyone goes in and they make avatars of themselves. 00:08:00.000 --> 00:08:03.940 They're just really detailed character makers so that people can really look like themselves. 00:08:04.040 --> 00:08:05.060 Is it like the crew? 00:08:05.080 --> 00:08:09.720 Yeah, it's like the crew, but they're like actual character models that can move around. 00:08:09.740 --> 00:08:12.620 And then you have a 3D modeled space of your house. 00:08:14.660 --> 00:08:20.400 And you have everyone have their avatars move around inside your 3D modeled house. 00:08:22.840 --> 00:08:25.360 Oh my god, okay, this gave me an even better idea. 00:08:25.380 --> 00:08:29.720 Okay, I don't know how it can be better than the perfect idea I just came up with, but continue. 00:08:29.740 --> 00:08:33.040 All right, so what we're gonna do, do you know what a raspberry pie is? 00:08:33.760 --> 00:08:34.980 The one you can't eat. 00:08:35.000 --> 00:08:38.140 So it's like a poisonous raspberry pie? 00:08:39.280 --> 00:08:41.380 No, no, like the hardware. 00:08:41.380 --> 00:08:49.100 I've heard the term raspberry pie before, but I don't know what you're referring to, and also probably the listeners don't either. 00:08:49.180 --> 00:08:53.920 Yes, I was asking you, but I was going to explain it anyways, but I'll explain it to you. 00:08:53.940 --> 00:08:54.820 It's like PI, right? 00:08:55.160 --> 00:08:56.160 Raspberry PI? 00:08:56.360 --> 00:08:57.260 Yes, yes. 00:08:57.300 --> 00:09:09.020 What it is, it's basically a very lightweight computer that you can very quickly program something, but the best part of it is you can make like little moving cars really easily, really quickly. 00:09:09.400 --> 00:09:22.260 So what we're going to do is we're going to incorporate your idea of avatars moving around, but what we're going to do is we're going to log everybody into one of these cars, and then they're just going to like in real life be moving around in the car. 00:09:22.660 --> 00:09:32.960 So now you as an avatar are in the space, and you're like, yes, I'm here, I'm in the space, but in real life, you are a car, and then we're going to play board games, and it's going to be your car. 00:09:33.180 --> 00:09:34.340 Sorry, I'm... 00:09:34.840 --> 00:09:36.140 It doesn't have to be a car. 00:09:36.160 --> 00:09:37.060 Where is one the car? 00:09:37.660 --> 00:09:38.020 What? 00:09:38.540 --> 00:09:40.600 So wait, in real life, one is the car? 00:09:40.620 --> 00:09:42.020 You are a car in real life. 00:09:43.440 --> 00:09:45.040 How does one become a car? 00:09:45.060 --> 00:09:50.860 You log in to the virtual app system, whatever, that has the scan, the 3D scan of the place. 00:09:50.880 --> 00:09:54.880 And so in your brain mind, you can see that you're there, right? 00:09:55.120 --> 00:09:59.840 But then the person who you are celebrating is not there. 00:09:59.920 --> 00:10:03.440 They have like headphones on or something, so they can still hear everybody. 00:10:03.620 --> 00:10:07.880 But then everybody's just cars, and so they can walk around with everyone. 00:10:09.700 --> 00:10:11.900 Oh, I understand what you mean now. 00:10:12.320 --> 00:10:15.220 I was like, how are we transforming people into cars? 00:10:15.240 --> 00:10:17.420 So we're going to transform people into cars. 00:10:17.440 --> 00:10:19.920 Now what you're saying to me is you're like, Jesus Christ, that's even better. 00:10:20.040 --> 00:10:21.500 No, cars can't get sick. 00:10:22.080 --> 00:10:25.420 Listen, cars can't get sick. 00:10:25.640 --> 00:10:27.460 I have a car, and this is science. 00:10:27.480 --> 00:10:28.740 Cars can't get sick. 00:10:29.460 --> 00:10:31.020 That's just not true. 00:10:31.280 --> 00:10:32.540 Cars get sick all the time. 00:10:32.560 --> 00:10:33.680 They just get sick different. 00:10:33.700 --> 00:10:35.720 Name one disease that infects cars. 00:10:37.440 --> 00:10:38.400 Yeah, gotcha. 00:10:38.580 --> 00:10:40.340 When an engine fails? 00:10:40.600 --> 00:10:41.800 That's not a disease. 00:10:41.840 --> 00:10:42.580 That's like... 00:10:42.880 --> 00:10:45.320 I mean, look, your engine can fail too. 00:10:45.660 --> 00:10:46.780 That's not a disease. 00:10:46.940 --> 00:10:50.080 Okay, so what you're saying here is people's lifespan is... 00:10:50.100 --> 00:10:52.280 We're going to animorph into a car. 00:10:52.340 --> 00:10:56.080 Right, but people's lifespan is going to be significantly restricted. 00:10:56.460 --> 00:10:59.620 Well, they're never going to die because they're a car. 00:10:59.640 --> 00:11:04.600 If by restricted, you mean it's not a thing anymore because they live forever because they are a car. 00:11:05.040 --> 00:11:06.620 You know cars die, right? 00:11:07.280 --> 00:11:09.440 Not, well, okay. 00:11:10.580 --> 00:11:13.380 I need to know some facts about this. 00:11:13.760 --> 00:11:14.500 All right, cool. 00:11:15.160 --> 00:11:24.520 And mostly I need to know what are the parts of a car that are equivalent to the parts of a human. 00:11:25.080 --> 00:11:26.740 What is the car's heart? 00:11:27.100 --> 00:11:28.700 What is the car's asshole? 00:11:28.800 --> 00:11:31.940 The exhaust is obviously like the intestines, right? 00:11:32.300 --> 00:11:33.440 Is that not the ass? 00:11:33.940 --> 00:11:35.940 Well, guess where the intestines go? 00:11:35.960 --> 00:11:39.400 Yeah, I just meant the exhaust pipe is the ass. 00:11:42.240 --> 00:11:45.400 At what point does the ass stop and the intestines begin? 00:11:46.600 --> 00:11:50.160 I'm sure medical doctors have an answer for you. 00:11:50.220 --> 00:11:51.660 Medical doctors hate this. 00:11:53.420 --> 00:11:54.840 What's the sphincter turn into? 00:11:55.340 --> 00:11:56.880 Do you just lose your sphincter? 00:11:57.580 --> 00:11:58.660 Right, this is the thing. 00:11:58.660 --> 00:12:00.880 Not everything is going to be able to move over one to one. 00:12:00.900 --> 00:12:03.320 For example, how do you fuck when you're a car? 00:12:03.920 --> 00:12:07.520 Okay, so go to Dragon's fucking Cars on Reddit. 00:12:08.380 --> 00:12:10.820 Don't fucking talk to me about Dragon's fucking Cars. 00:12:11.000 --> 00:12:13.140 I think I just answered your question though. 00:12:13.560 --> 00:12:17.040 Also, don't go to Dragon's fucking Cars on Reddit, whatever you do. 00:12:17.060 --> 00:12:18.300 Yeah, don't do that. 00:12:18.680 --> 00:12:20.580 Can one transform back? 00:12:21.480 --> 00:12:26.400 Hmm, so like, what if we just became transformers is what you're saying? 00:12:26.800 --> 00:12:29.720 Yeah, which I'm kind of more cool with. 00:12:30.000 --> 00:12:34.180 I feel like I might have weird car dysphoria if I were to become a car. 00:12:34.200 --> 00:12:37.280 Maybe you could become a helicopter. 00:12:37.760 --> 00:12:42.800 God, yeah, we could all transform into vehicles. 00:12:43.360 --> 00:12:44.340 That's an option. 00:12:44.560 --> 00:12:46.280 Now, there is the other option. 00:12:46.280 --> 00:12:50.900 I do want to get back on track where the point of turning into cars is to become not- 00:12:50.920 --> 00:12:53.020 You don't want to get back on the road, you want to get back on track. 00:12:54.400 --> 00:12:56.060 Maybe we should become trains. 00:12:56.660 --> 00:12:57.680 That would take some training. 00:13:00.060 --> 00:13:00.380 Yes. 00:13:00.500 --> 00:13:02.780 But can transformers get sick? 00:13:02.820 --> 00:13:05.280 I feel like there was an entire movie about this. 00:13:05.760 --> 00:13:07.300 This is a good question. 00:13:07.320 --> 00:13:11.000 I feel like there's at least been three arcs about this. 00:13:11.720 --> 00:13:14.180 I think that you're right. 00:13:14.660 --> 00:13:20.240 I'm going to Google, can transformers get sick? 00:13:20.800 --> 00:13:21.840 Oh, the first option. 00:13:22.140 --> 00:13:22.760 Oh, no. 00:13:22.780 --> 00:13:26.160 I want you to know what the first option that came up that was not... 00:13:26.280 --> 00:13:33.100 When I typed in can transformers get, the first option was not get sick. 00:13:33.560 --> 00:13:34.520 It was get pregnant. 00:13:34.540 --> 00:13:35.200 Get pregnant? 00:13:35.220 --> 00:13:35.900 I knew it. 00:13:37.640 --> 00:13:39.920 What do you want me to search for, sick or pregnant? 00:13:41.000 --> 00:13:42.700 This is a choose your own adventure now. 00:13:42.720 --> 00:13:43.080 God. 00:13:45.100 --> 00:13:45.520 Okay. 00:13:45.540 --> 00:13:45.840 All right. 00:13:45.860 --> 00:13:47.200 You know, my immediate thought was... 00:13:47.220 --> 00:13:51.100 It's your first day, and you'll cry about transformers getting pregnant if you want to. 00:13:54.000 --> 00:13:56.420 But how good are the results you think for sick? 00:13:56.880 --> 00:14:00.120 They're probably mostly, yeah, in this one episode. 00:14:01.760 --> 00:14:09.220 But how badly do you want search results to be completely and forever changed? 00:14:10.420 --> 00:14:11.420 You can't go back. 00:14:11.440 --> 00:14:14.700 Look, Brianna, you can only search, can transformers get pregnant once? 00:14:15.580 --> 00:14:17.660 And I think your computer breaks after that. 00:14:20.160 --> 00:14:21.840 That's a risk I might have to take. 00:14:21.900 --> 00:14:22.600 Okay, do it. 00:14:24.320 --> 00:14:26.680 Can transformers get pregnant? 00:14:26.700 --> 00:14:31.940 In the transformers animated continuity, it seems clear that transformers do not reproduce sexually. 00:14:32.920 --> 00:14:34.260 Oh my God, I'm so glad. 00:14:35.860 --> 00:14:37.300 That's the end of the answer, right? 00:14:37.500 --> 00:14:40.460 Transformers do not reproduce sexually, but they can be gay. 00:14:40.620 --> 00:14:42.780 This is a thing that is true in transformers canon. 00:14:42.800 --> 00:14:43.300 Of course. 00:14:43.320 --> 00:14:45.780 They're gay and trans transformers, which is delightful. 00:14:46.160 --> 00:14:47.980 So yeah, we're all transformers now. 00:14:48.940 --> 00:14:52.960 And we can turn into humans and also into cars. 00:14:53.260 --> 00:14:54.780 Oh wait, we can turn into humans? 00:14:55.300 --> 00:14:56.520 We're super transformers. 00:14:58.000 --> 00:14:59.140 We can grow flesh. 00:14:59.620 --> 00:15:02.060 Doesn't this like mean we can still get sick? 00:15:02.640 --> 00:15:03.400 I guess it does. 00:15:03.400 --> 00:15:04.620 Fine, no more humans. 00:15:04.940 --> 00:15:06.580 We're all just robot people now. 00:15:06.600 --> 00:15:07.720 We're all just robots now. 00:15:07.740 --> 00:15:09.600 This was what I always wanted anyway. 00:15:10.300 --> 00:15:12.100 Yeah, I mean, I feel like we solved it. 00:15:12.660 --> 00:15:14.660 Yeah, we're just going to become cars. 00:15:14.660 --> 00:15:19.620 This is on my birthday when I hit 25, which when this comes out is yesterday. 00:15:19.640 --> 00:15:21.900 So I guess by the time you hear this, I'll be a car. 00:15:22.460 --> 00:15:23.520 What's my license plate? 00:15:25.140 --> 00:15:25.820 Is it Egirl? 00:15:25.860 --> 00:15:27.840 Yeah, absolutely. 00:15:27.860 --> 00:15:28.780 B-D-E-girl. 00:15:29.400 --> 00:15:30.840 B-D-E-girl. 00:15:31.140 --> 00:15:32.780 I think this solves the craving. 00:15:32.800 --> 00:15:36.920 Do you want to transmit your craving over these waves? 00:15:37.580 --> 00:15:39.000 Yeah, I would love to. 00:15:39.120 --> 00:15:44.180 So it's sort of similar, but it's a little bit, it's still quarantine related. 00:15:44.200 --> 00:15:46.740 This is the quarantine themed episode. 00:15:47.040 --> 00:15:50.060 You know, you really wanted to like get your mind off it. 00:15:50.080 --> 00:15:51.500 Listen to some comedy. 00:15:51.520 --> 00:15:53.200 Yeah, we're doing it. 00:15:53.220 --> 00:15:59.420 Listen, when we do our next episode, it will also probably be a quarantine episode, depending on how long this goes. 00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:00.820 We will not do it. 00:16:00.840 --> 00:16:03.240 But this one, this one's Quarantine, Baybee. 00:16:03.860 --> 00:16:12.000 And this one, I'm having a craving to be able to see my girlfriend without breaking the quarantine. 00:16:12.020 --> 00:16:13.500 Wow, relatable. 00:16:14.000 --> 00:16:15.740 I just like, I miss her. 00:16:15.760 --> 00:16:19.120 So I just want to be able to see my girlfriend. 00:16:19.360 --> 00:16:20.580 So how are we fixing this? 00:16:21.000 --> 00:16:22.640 How are we solving it? 00:16:22.660 --> 00:16:25.140 Is it going to be like, hmm, oh my God. 00:16:25.140 --> 00:16:26.760 All right, all right, all right, all right. 00:16:26.780 --> 00:16:27.440 Oh, you have it? 00:16:27.680 --> 00:16:29.440 You know those like hamster balls. 00:16:29.660 --> 00:16:30.800 What if we get those? 00:16:31.940 --> 00:16:34.260 We can just all roll around in quarantine balls. 00:16:34.580 --> 00:16:37.200 I will say, I think a part of the desire... 00:16:37.220 --> 00:16:41.100 Look, I think capitalism will love this because it increases our productivity. 00:16:41.120 --> 00:16:43.220 I hate this now. 00:16:43.240 --> 00:16:45.180 Now that you've explained this to me. 00:16:45.820 --> 00:16:49.220 The thing is, I kind of also would love to be able to touch. 00:16:49.400 --> 00:16:50.360 Okay, all right, all right. 00:16:50.380 --> 00:16:51.340 So there's, get this. 00:16:51.780 --> 00:16:54.000 In the hamster ball, there's a little window. 00:16:54.040 --> 00:16:59.660 There's a square window where you roll around and you can like open it and it opens up. 00:17:00.040 --> 00:17:02.600 But the thing is, it doesn't open up to like the outside. 00:17:02.800 --> 00:17:13.120 What it opens up to is sort of like, you know, like a latex glove, but if you stretch it, basically you can stick your hand into the square and it becomes like a latex glove over your hand. 00:17:13.360 --> 00:17:14.840 And now you can touch each other. 00:17:15.060 --> 00:17:15.660 Perfect. 00:17:15.800 --> 00:17:17.000 Excellent solution. 00:17:18.300 --> 00:17:18.780 Okay. 00:17:18.800 --> 00:17:19.500 Now you can hold hands. 00:17:22.960 --> 00:17:30.200 Now, Clair, I just really quickly, like, let's pretend the audience is not here. 00:17:31.640 --> 00:17:32.600 Just for a minute. 00:17:32.740 --> 00:17:33.740 I mean, they're not. 00:17:34.280 --> 00:17:39.040 And let's talk about some of the other things one might want to do with their partner. 00:17:41.260 --> 00:17:42.540 Watch TV. 00:17:42.840 --> 00:17:45.000 Oh, fuck, we could use the Netflix party thing. 00:17:45.340 --> 00:17:45.680 Paint. 00:17:47.060 --> 00:17:47.480 So there's that. 00:17:47.960 --> 00:17:55.380 What are other things one might want to do with their partner that involve touching in some way, other than just holding hands? 00:17:56.820 --> 00:17:59.460 Um, I'm really drawing a blank. 00:18:00.120 --> 00:18:01.780 What about kissing? 00:18:01.800 --> 00:18:04.660 Well, yeah, but I mean, you can kiss through the latex. 00:18:05.560 --> 00:18:06.040 Great. 00:18:06.200 --> 00:18:10.460 You can change the flavor of the latex, so it can be like strawberry flavor. 00:18:10.480 --> 00:18:12.040 So it's a dental dam. 00:18:12.700 --> 00:18:13.200 Yes. 00:18:13.600 --> 00:18:14.760 What's a catchy name? 00:18:14.780 --> 00:18:17.440 What's a fun catchy name that doesn't make it sound like a hamster ball? 00:18:17.860 --> 00:18:19.180 The Quarren ball. 00:18:19.200 --> 00:18:23.140 The Quarren ball has flavored dental dams for your pleasure. 00:18:23.460 --> 00:18:24.900 You can touch them. 00:18:25.620 --> 00:18:26.740 You can kiss through them. 00:18:27.280 --> 00:18:28.860 You can do anything you want through them. 00:18:29.800 --> 00:18:30.400 Whoa. 00:18:30.740 --> 00:18:31.880 Actually, wait. 00:18:32.580 --> 00:18:36.760 So I know I've brought this up before, but you know those green suits at Halloween? 00:18:37.680 --> 00:18:38.280 Uh-huh. 00:18:38.300 --> 00:18:40.460 What if it was just that but a dental dam? 00:18:41.000 --> 00:18:43.400 We are so far into kink territory. 00:18:44.340 --> 00:18:46.300 Um, I can't deal with this. 00:18:46.320 --> 00:18:49.780 Look, sometimes the kinky people have, like, a point. 00:18:50.240 --> 00:18:54.000 If you just cover your entire body with latex, you can't catch anything. 00:18:54.580 --> 00:18:54.780 I... 00:18:55.560 --> 00:18:56.400 I guess? 00:18:56.420 --> 00:18:58.100 You can become the condom. 00:19:01.880 --> 00:19:03.400 Yeah, I guess you could. 00:19:03.700 --> 00:19:05.080 So what if... 00:19:06.840 --> 00:19:07.760 What if not that? 00:19:08.820 --> 00:19:10.940 What if, yeah, what if just not that? 00:19:13.240 --> 00:19:14.400 Is there anything else? 00:19:14.740 --> 00:19:17.020 Is there anything else that would help us? 00:19:17.480 --> 00:19:17.860 Hmm. 00:19:18.480 --> 00:19:18.900 Okay. 00:19:19.020 --> 00:19:19.480 All right. 00:19:19.480 --> 00:19:36.360 So do you remember a bit ago, there was, like, someone came out with a hand or a glove where you could basically insert your hand into it, and then someone else has, like, an electronic hand, and then you can control it from far distance. 00:19:36.900 --> 00:19:39.100 Yes, this does exist, yes. 00:19:39.120 --> 00:19:39.560 Yeah. 00:19:40.020 --> 00:19:41.340 So that? 00:19:41.900 --> 00:19:43.160 But a whole person. 00:19:43.920 --> 00:19:45.820 So you want to upload your consciousness. 00:19:46.080 --> 00:19:48.120 So you want to San Junipero this shit. 00:19:48.360 --> 00:19:55.100 Yeah, I was thinking more of just, like, a weird astral projection type of motion capture thing. 00:19:55.120 --> 00:19:55.540 Oh, my God. 00:19:55.560 --> 00:19:57.640 What if you just astral project into each other? 00:19:57.660 --> 00:19:58.520 That's... 00:20:02.080 --> 00:20:02.940 I'm not sure. 00:20:03.440 --> 00:20:04.900 Astral project me, daddy. 00:20:09.620 --> 00:20:10.420 Oh, thanks. 00:20:10.440 --> 00:20:10.880 I hate it. 00:20:10.980 --> 00:20:11.720 You're welcome. 00:20:11.980 --> 00:20:13.420 I like the astral projection option. 00:20:13.440 --> 00:20:14.920 I like the San Junipero option. 00:20:14.940 --> 00:20:16.680 Let's talk about the San Junipero option. 00:20:17.080 --> 00:20:27.580 We all upload our consciousness to a big machine, and then we're happy because, hey, maybe Transformers can get sick, but they probably wouldn't program sickness into it. 00:20:28.220 --> 00:20:37.220 Yeah, I think the whole thing about San Junipero is that as long as the data, as long as the servers keep running, basically, you're alive. 00:20:37.600 --> 00:20:37.920 Yeah. 00:20:37.940 --> 00:20:40.320 And you can be immortal and gay forever. 00:20:40.340 --> 00:20:41.600 Hell yeah. 00:20:41.940 --> 00:20:42.960 Sounds pretty dope. 00:20:43.760 --> 00:20:44.440 I'm into that. 00:20:44.460 --> 00:20:45.120 I'm feeling it. 00:20:45.420 --> 00:20:46.820 I like the San Junipero option. 00:20:46.840 --> 00:20:51.260 Okay, let's talk about what is our San Junipero server world look like? 00:20:51.580 --> 00:20:55.180