WEBVTT 00:00:27.202 --> 00:00:29.802 Hello, and welcome to Salt Cravings. 00:00:30.202 --> 00:00:36.162 We exist in a perfectly normal world where nothing bad is happening because this is a comedy podcast. 00:00:38.962 --> 00:00:40.722 Yeah, fuck it, dude. 00:00:40.742 --> 00:00:42.262 Hey, my name's Brianna. 00:00:43.442 --> 00:01:04.722 But you know, in the theoretical possibility that if you did live in a world that was bad, there probably would be links to donations that would maybe help the world in the theoretical comments of the podcast that theoretically exists in that world, which would be this podcast if you click the comments. 00:01:05.122 --> 00:01:20.322 And theoretically, if you were mad about a potential situation involving a children's author who has gone full mask off on turf and this, you should donate to black trans women and trans women of color. 00:01:20.862 --> 00:01:24.462 And those theoretically those links would be in the description. 00:01:24.942 --> 00:01:37.362 And if you theoretically lived in a world where prisons still existed, I think there could potentially also be sub literature in how to remove those institutions from your theoretical world. 00:01:37.882 --> 00:01:42.642 Thank God in our world, there's no prisons or children's authors. 00:01:45.602 --> 00:01:52.422 The new radical hot take that all leftists love is you just put all the children's authors in prison. 00:01:52.442 --> 00:01:54.882 Jesus. 00:01:58.542 --> 00:01:59.742 Yeah, that's what we're saying. 00:01:59.762 --> 00:02:02.862 That's what we're saying here on Salt Cravings. 00:02:05.342 --> 00:02:07.542 So this is a comedy podcast. 00:02:07.562 --> 00:02:08.942 We're gonna share some cravings. 00:02:08.962 --> 00:02:10.962 You're gonna sit back, have a good time. 00:02:10.982 --> 00:02:16.202 I don't know, eat some chips, lie and crave. 00:02:16.222 --> 00:02:16.762 Be bisexual. 00:02:16.982 --> 00:02:18.222 Be bisexual. 00:02:18.962 --> 00:02:23.122 If you're not bisexual, you get no hot chips and you cannot lie. 00:02:25.982 --> 00:02:27.402 Shit, I can't lie. 00:02:27.422 --> 00:02:30.462 And I cannot eat hot chips. 00:02:32.582 --> 00:02:36.382 Do you want to get this ball rolling down the hill that this world is? 00:02:37.182 --> 00:02:39.862 I'm so glad you mentioned hills, Clair, because I think... 00:02:40.122 --> 00:02:41.362 What a good segue. 00:02:41.582 --> 00:02:48.542 Because what if one were to jump up a hill or jump from a hill to another hill? 00:02:48.962 --> 00:02:52.242 And what if you were to do it in 3D? 00:02:52.262 --> 00:02:56.762 And what if you had a hat that could possess enemies? 00:02:58.102 --> 00:03:00.802 And what if you were playing Super Mario Odyssey? 00:03:01.082 --> 00:03:09.342 And what if you've played Super Mario Odyssey through twice, one time 100%ing it, and you just desperately need a new good 3D platformer? 00:03:09.902 --> 00:03:16.762 What if you just desperately needed another good 3D platformer, and no one's making 3D platformers anymore, and they're cowards? 00:03:17.342 --> 00:03:21.802 I mean, Yooka-Laylee exists, but you did say good 3D platformers. 00:03:22.502 --> 00:03:23.402 That's where I said good. 00:03:23.642 --> 00:03:24.582 I just, okay. 00:03:24.822 --> 00:03:28.542 Super Mario Odyssey is the first Switch game that I think I played, and I adored every... 00:03:28.762 --> 00:03:29.402 I remember that. 00:03:29.422 --> 00:03:33.802 Because I was like Breath of the Wild, and you were like Odyssey, and I was like Breath of the Wild! 00:03:33.822 --> 00:03:42.382 And then I played Breath of the Wild, and I really enjoyed it, but like platformers are like my total jam, and Super Mario Odyssey was my total jam. 00:03:42.702 --> 00:03:44.422 And Breath of the Wild was your peanut bugger. 00:03:44.862 --> 00:03:45.482 Absolutely. 00:03:45.502 --> 00:03:47.122 It was the two of them together. 00:03:47.302 --> 00:03:48.042 Good sandwich. 00:03:48.062 --> 00:03:55.402 But Super Mario Odyssey was maybe one of my favorite 3D platformers, or just generally one of my favorite platformers of all time. 00:03:55.942 --> 00:04:03.242 And I'm desperate for another game that can give me the feelings that it gave me of just like, ah yes, I love to platform. 00:04:03.502 --> 00:04:05.362 I love to platform in 3D. 00:04:05.802 --> 00:04:07.202 Have you played 3D World? 00:04:07.762 --> 00:04:08.362 I haven't. 00:04:08.382 --> 00:04:09.062 I'm going to. 00:04:09.482 --> 00:04:15.602 I don't have the console that one needs to play it currently on my person. 00:04:15.882 --> 00:04:21.062 You can technically run a Wii U on the computer. 00:04:21.082 --> 00:04:31.302 There is software for research purposes that will let you emulate how a Wii U works on your computer. 00:04:31.422 --> 00:04:34.122 Yeah, I might have to research that a little bit. 00:04:34.142 --> 00:04:38.202 Do some research into, but I don't even remember what it's called. 00:04:38.622 --> 00:04:42.702 That's fine, because I'm pretty sure you can just Google Wii U emulator. 00:04:43.062 --> 00:04:43.962 That's a good idea. 00:04:43.962 --> 00:04:44.702 I like that. 00:04:45.202 --> 00:04:52.922 Yeah, no, I totally am going to go back, and I know that there's all these rumors about them releasing a whole bunch of older 3D platformers. 00:04:53.302 --> 00:04:54.322 Oh, yeah. 00:04:55.242 --> 00:04:57.282 Can we talk about Sunshine? 00:04:57.282 --> 00:04:57.802 Galaxy. 00:04:59.302 --> 00:05:00.302 Also Galaxy. 00:05:00.322 --> 00:05:02.342 I'm so excited for Galaxy remake. 00:05:02.362 --> 00:05:03.862 I love Galaxy so much. 00:05:03.882 --> 00:05:04.602 I love Galaxy. 00:05:04.622 --> 00:05:05.562 I love Galaxy 2. 00:05:05.582 --> 00:05:06.362 I love 64. 00:05:06.382 --> 00:05:11.262 I never played Sunshine, and I will when it gets re-released. 00:05:11.622 --> 00:05:13.182 Can I be honest? 00:05:13.502 --> 00:05:21.422 I never finished Sunshine or Galaxy because Sunshine came out where I was like super not into Mario. 00:05:21.762 --> 00:05:31.482 And like I had it and I played like maybe 10% of it and was like, OK, I don't understand what the point of Mario is because I like Pokemon and this has no story. 00:05:34.422 --> 00:05:39.682 That's what I, when I think of a platformer, my first thing that I want from it is story. 00:05:39.702 --> 00:05:40.322 It's story. 00:05:40.342 --> 00:05:41.142 Yeah, exactly. 00:05:41.442 --> 00:05:51.522 And then Galaxy, I just was in the phase of like, I want to play co-op games and Galaxy was like, yeah, we have co-op and then second player is like, I get to point at the screen pew pew. 00:05:51.642 --> 00:05:54.022 And that's the whole Galaxy place. 00:05:54.382 --> 00:05:57.402 Galaxy, I think is just one of my favorite Mario games. 00:05:58.102 --> 00:06:00.462 It rules, I love that whole game. 00:06:01.082 --> 00:06:02.182 Shout out to Rosalina. 00:06:02.242 --> 00:06:04.002 But yeah, I never played Sunshine. 00:06:04.022 --> 00:06:07.542 It's just my GameCube time. 00:06:07.562 --> 00:06:12.362 There's so many good GameCube games that I just never needed more. 00:06:12.382 --> 00:06:16.302 And so I sort of didn't even know that Sunshine existed, to be honest. 00:06:17.222 --> 00:06:18.222 Oh, wow. 00:06:18.242 --> 00:06:18.902 Really? 00:06:19.222 --> 00:06:24.222 It was the game that like, quote unquote, showed off the GameCube's ability for light. 00:06:25.382 --> 00:06:30.562 That's why it was so bright and sunny, which honestly, I want more of those games. 00:06:30.582 --> 00:06:32.962 I want fun, bright games. 00:06:32.962 --> 00:06:34.882 I don't want grimdark Mario. 00:06:35.082 --> 00:06:35.842 Actually, wait. 00:06:36.602 --> 00:06:39.102 Okay, let's talk about grimdark Mario. 00:06:39.122 --> 00:06:45.262 I think grimdark Mario is just the new paper Mario where everyone's getting turned into like origami. 00:06:45.282 --> 00:06:46.582 That seems cool. 00:06:46.602 --> 00:06:47.642 That seems cool and good. 00:06:47.682 --> 00:06:48.662 And I hope it's a good game. 00:06:48.682 --> 00:06:50.522 I'm actually really excited for that. 00:06:50.662 --> 00:07:00.822 I really want to play Color Splash after learning about the origami game because I've just heard that Color Splash was highly underrated and it's actually pretty fun. 00:07:00.842 --> 00:07:03.182 Yeah, this is what I've heard. 00:07:03.202 --> 00:07:05.902 The leveling system just is non-existent. 00:07:05.922 --> 00:07:11.862 So battle apparently feels a little not rewarding, but the story is apparently very good. 00:07:12.102 --> 00:07:16.842 And Brianna, what if your platformer had story? 00:07:18.422 --> 00:07:23.362 The first thing that I'm going to say is, I don't think the Paper Mario counts as a platformer. 00:07:23.622 --> 00:07:24.362 It's not. 00:07:24.722 --> 00:07:29.122 But the thing that I will say, what if a platformer had story? 00:07:29.342 --> 00:07:51.402 What if it followed the tale of a young girl climbing a mountain and it's a metaphor for depression, and you could combine both a really good and tight platforming with a complex and meaningful story about loving yourself, and then you could maybe call it Celeste, and it could be another of just my favorite games of all time. 00:07:51.822 --> 00:07:54.162 Also, the music is just so good. 00:07:54.182 --> 00:07:56.182 I listen to the music so much. 00:07:56.802 --> 00:07:58.322 Yeah, same, same, same. 00:07:58.342 --> 00:07:59.522 I listen to the music so much. 00:07:59.542 --> 00:08:03.882 Shout out to Lena Raine, who did the music for that game. 00:08:04.182 --> 00:08:05.222 Did an incredible job. 00:08:05.402 --> 00:08:08.482 But let's talk about, okay, if we want to make a... 00:08:08.502 --> 00:08:09.422 I have an idea. 00:08:09.442 --> 00:08:12.682 What if you just become the platformer? 00:08:12.762 --> 00:08:14.922 What if you learn how to parkour, Brianna? 00:08:15.882 --> 00:08:19.142 Um, Clair, I have some things for you about my body. 00:08:19.162 --> 00:08:20.702 Create disability parkour. 00:08:20.722 --> 00:08:22.142 Disability parkour. 00:08:22.162 --> 00:08:24.582 I mean, disability parkour absolutely exists. 00:08:24.602 --> 00:08:27.182 Yeah, actually, that sounds definitely like a thing. 00:08:27.542 --> 00:08:33.882 Well, disability parkour, I think, sometimes it's just the experience of trying to get around in places made for able-bodied people. 00:08:33.902 --> 00:08:36.022 God, okay, you know, that's true. 00:08:37.662 --> 00:08:40.662 But I could get into disability parkour, but here's the thing. 00:08:40.762 --> 00:08:42.022 Here's the thing, Clair. 00:08:42.042 --> 00:08:46.822 The way that my disability works, it would be very short spurts of parkour. 00:08:46.982 --> 00:08:50.822 It would be like, all right, we're going to do parkour for a minute. 00:08:52.182 --> 00:08:54.382 And that's about all I can handle. 00:08:54.902 --> 00:08:58.262 What if we gave you a robot suit? 00:08:58.782 --> 00:09:00.002 Okay, all right. 00:09:00.022 --> 00:09:04.182 Well, I'm never not going to, I'm never going to say no to robot suits. 00:09:04.202 --> 00:09:07.702 So is this like, is this a power suit or is this a mech? 00:09:08.782 --> 00:09:10.842 I was imagining a power suit. 00:09:12.282 --> 00:09:13.822 Imagine mech parkour. 00:09:13.842 --> 00:09:22.302 Yeah, imagine 50 foot robots doing parkour on like an abandoned wasteland planet of like cities. 00:09:22.302 --> 00:09:27.342 But instead of like jumping over like small pipes, they're just jumping over buildings. 00:09:27.382 --> 00:09:29.502 And that's like 50 foot parkour. 00:09:29.862 --> 00:09:34.902 This sounds like this sounds like a great 3D platformer that we could make into a video game. 00:09:35.002 --> 00:09:40.442 That sounds like parkouring the entire planet instead of just like a small district. 00:09:40.742 --> 00:09:43.522 Wait, parkouring from one planet to another? 00:09:43.542 --> 00:09:45.142 That sounds cool too. 00:09:45.162 --> 00:09:50.782 But also I was thinking like you're just so big that you're parkouring across multiple cities. 00:09:50.802 --> 00:09:52.142 I like that a lot. 00:09:52.402 --> 00:09:57.022 When I think of a mech, I immediately want it to be at least as big as a skyscraper. 00:09:57.162 --> 00:10:02.122 I know there are small mechs, but like I want 100 feet minimum. 00:10:02.582 --> 00:10:04.042 This is fair, totally. 00:10:04.602 --> 00:10:13.442 But I do think that one of the kind of draws of the 3D platform is that you are small kind of up against a big, scary world, right? 00:10:13.462 --> 00:10:24.762 Like you are, the whole thing is about being nimble and quick and trying to remember place to place, which only means that the enemies and the things that you're going to have to deal with have to be even bigger than you. 00:10:25.202 --> 00:10:26.022 Exactly. 00:10:26.042 --> 00:10:39.482 Okay, now alternate idea, because this did just come into my brain, what if dinosaur parkour and you're trying to dodge out of the way of meteorites because they're coming crashing down. 00:10:39.502 --> 00:10:43.302 I love this idea that the dinosaurs... 00:10:44.942 --> 00:10:47.202 What if you parkour away from extinction? 00:10:47.402 --> 00:10:49.882 That's the slogan, parkour out of extinction. 00:10:49.902 --> 00:10:55.682 Yeah, scientists said once upon a time that the dinosaurs were knocked out by one meteor. 00:10:55.762 --> 00:10:56.642 They were wrong. 00:10:56.662 --> 00:10:59.062 It was a lot more than one meteor. 00:11:02.362 --> 00:11:06.982 It was actually dozens and dozens and hundreds and hundreds of meteors. 00:11:08.302 --> 00:11:09.142 Oh, God. 00:11:09.542 --> 00:11:11.402 What type of dinosaur would be great at parkour? 00:11:11.422 --> 00:11:17.122 I'm so glad you brought this up, because my immediate response was like, there's unlockable skins, right? 00:11:17.142 --> 00:11:21.062 You could be a Stegosaurus, you could be a Tyrannosaurus rex. 00:11:21.082 --> 00:11:23.162 Hell, I think you just started the T-Rex. 00:11:23.542 --> 00:11:24.502 Now, question here. 00:11:24.902 --> 00:11:26.662 How does the scale work with those? 00:11:27.102 --> 00:11:29.262 Like the scales on their bodies, you definitely mean. 00:11:29.282 --> 00:11:33.642 So the scales, how the scales on their bodies work is that you have hit points. 00:11:34.442 --> 00:11:35.262 Great, great. 00:11:35.302 --> 00:11:40.442 And as you get hit, your scales actually fall off, and you become a naked dinosaur. 00:11:41.122 --> 00:11:45.942 All the dinosaurs have scales, even the ones that have feathers and also the ones that were fish. 00:11:46.402 --> 00:11:47.802 How do you regain health? 00:11:48.302 --> 00:11:49.642 You eat other dinosaurs. 00:11:49.942 --> 00:11:50.782 Incredibly good. 00:11:51.142 --> 00:11:55.002 You're jumping out of the way of meteors, you're jumping around this planet that's getting destroyed. 00:11:55.022 --> 00:11:59.742 You're trying to get to a dinosaur spaceship to fly away from the planet that's getting destroyed. 00:12:00.182 --> 00:12:02.162 Yeah, that's a good idea. 00:12:02.182 --> 00:12:03.862 Hey, this is a great idea, Brianna. 00:12:04.382 --> 00:12:06.742 Can you tell me about this dinosaur spaceship? 00:12:06.822 --> 00:12:08.002 Is it dinosaur shaped? 00:12:08.642 --> 00:12:21.402 It's just so big because it can fit a lot of dinosaurs, and it is shaped like the Jurassic Park logo, which is a weird design for a spaceship, I know. 00:12:22.302 --> 00:12:24.542 Maybe it just has that logo on the side of it. 00:12:24.562 --> 00:12:26.062 Maybe it's like a normally kind of... 00:12:26.082 --> 00:12:29.362 Maybe it's like a UFO, but it has that on it. 00:12:30.142 --> 00:12:34.942 And every time anyone's seen a UFO, it's actually been this dinosaur spaceship. 00:12:35.562 --> 00:12:38.282 Where do you think Jurassic Park got the logo idea? 00:12:38.302 --> 00:12:45.362 Like after the dinosaurs escaped, they came back to Earth, and the researchers were like, Whoa, aliens, can we make a park about you? 00:12:45.362 --> 00:12:48.562 And then they called them dinosaurs and made a movie about it. 00:12:49.422 --> 00:12:50.662 It's a documentary. 00:12:50.682 --> 00:12:53.962 And it's real. 00:12:54.062 --> 00:12:55.542 And it's about aliens. 00:12:56.482 --> 00:12:57.882 Yeah, it's about aliens. 00:12:58.282 --> 00:12:59.502 It's a documentary. 00:12:59.882 --> 00:13:01.542 Yeah, Alien Dinosaur Parkour. 00:13:01.782 --> 00:13:11.802 God, the thing that I'm realizing is this would just be one of those Mario levels in which there's constantly like meteors coming down from the sky. 00:13:11.822 --> 00:13:15.182 You constantly have to avoid them, but that's the entire game. 00:13:15.722 --> 00:13:18.682 It's just you cannot stay in one spot for long. 00:13:18.902 --> 00:13:28.222 You cannot explore all that much because meteors keep coming down, which to me is a problem because you know what's fun about 3D platformers exploring. 00:13:29.662 --> 00:13:33.482 I never think of 3D platformers as like exploring. 00:13:33.522 --> 00:13:34.522 I guess that's true. 00:13:34.542 --> 00:13:39.922 To me, especially like specifically, I'm thinking about an Odyssey style thing here. 00:13:39.962 --> 00:13:40.382 That's fair. 00:13:40.402 --> 00:13:46.522 And Odyssey is so much about like exploring and finding every little nook and cranny and everything here and there. 00:13:46.662 --> 00:13:48.322 And that's a lot of fun for me. 00:13:49.262 --> 00:13:54.682 I love to know that I've not only beaten the game, but sucked it dry in any life. 00:13:55.222 --> 00:13:56.062 Of content. 00:13:56.082 --> 00:13:58.442 You've sucked the content out of it. 00:13:59.542 --> 00:14:03.002 I want to suck the content out of a platformer. 00:14:03.022 --> 00:14:05.942 I want to suck your content. 00:14:09.002 --> 00:14:14.342 So I was actually thinking of a different platformer that has not really story. 00:14:14.362 --> 00:14:18.322 Well, it has kind of story, but not things to discover. 00:14:18.422 --> 00:14:19.422 That's also not true. 00:14:19.442 --> 00:14:20.202 There are collectibles. 00:14:21.242 --> 00:14:26.422 Donkey Kong Country Tropical Freeze is probably one of my absolute all time favorite platformers. 00:14:26.802 --> 00:14:28.122 It's a really good platformer. 00:14:28.402 --> 00:14:29.242 It's also 2D. 00:14:29.822 --> 00:14:39.062 It is technically a 2D play style, but it is 3D art, which, you know, when we're talking about 2D and 3D games, there is that weird overlap. 00:14:39.642 --> 00:14:45.222 There is, but I think that there is something that feels distinctly different about 3D platformers, you know? 00:14:45.342 --> 00:14:45.742 Oh, yeah. 00:14:45.762 --> 00:14:46.462 No, it's much. 00:14:46.542 --> 00:14:49.702 I actually much prefer 2D platformers. 00:14:49.982 --> 00:14:57.842 I like both, but sometimes when I really want to sink my teeth into a game and like get everything out of it, I'm really looking for a 3D platformer. 00:14:58.262 --> 00:15:01.302 That is so much more about trying to find everything, right? 00:15:01.762 --> 00:15:03.282 It's the Banjo Kazooie model. 00:15:03.302 --> 00:15:05.102 Platformers are good. 00:15:05.122 --> 00:15:07.542 I don't know what else there is to say. 00:15:07.562 --> 00:15:10.582 I do want to try Dinosaur Platformer. 00:15:10.822 --> 00:15:13.342 That's what else you got to say. 00:15:13.362 --> 00:15:14.102 I have an idea. 00:15:14.122 --> 00:15:15.182 I have an idea for this. 00:15:15.642 --> 00:15:18.742 Every world is a world, right? 00:15:18.982 --> 00:15:19.982 Yeah, I love this. 00:15:20.442 --> 00:15:27.982 Get on this spaceship and then you go to the next planet and then on the next planet, there's another meteor shower happening. 00:15:28.342 --> 00:15:29.182 This is Odyssey. 00:15:29.202 --> 00:15:30.542 This is Odyssey. 00:15:31.042 --> 00:15:32.682 It's Odyssey, the dinosaurs. 00:15:33.162 --> 00:15:33.582 Great. 00:15:33.582 --> 00:15:33.962 You're fine. 00:15:33.982 --> 00:15:35.822 We're just going to reskin Odyssey. 00:15:36.462 --> 00:15:36.982 Reskin. 00:15:37.002 --> 00:15:41.702 Hey, Super Mario Odyssey, the only change is Mario is a T-Rex now. 00:15:41.962 --> 00:15:45.142 Yeah, the thing is, we're not even going to change the normal map. 00:15:45.182 --> 00:15:49.442 Like, it's going to look like Mario, but just with a skin over top of it. 00:15:50.002 --> 00:15:54.182 It's just going to be the T-Rex that exists in Super Mario Odyssey already. 00:15:54.202 --> 00:15:56.722 Yeah, we don't even have to import any assets. 00:15:57.502 --> 00:15:59.762 Yeah, we're just going to shrink it down to Mario's size. 00:16:00.582 --> 00:16:07.842 And it's just going to stand in for Mario, and it's going to have the Mario cap and the cappy and the mustache that's on the T-Rex. 00:16:08.322 --> 00:16:11.942 I have an excellent idea for more Odyssey content for you. 00:16:12.322 --> 00:16:18.762 You have to play through the entire game, but only as one of the types of hat things. 00:16:21.302 --> 00:16:24.922 And like, you know, the levels change a little bit to accommodate you. 00:16:24.942 --> 00:16:27.742 I think like, oh, you just want to be the dinosaur the whole time? 00:16:28.382 --> 00:16:29.842 Sure, go for it. 00:16:30.002 --> 00:16:35.082 There are actually a lot of alt like challenges for Super Mario Odyssey. 00:16:35.102 --> 00:16:41.282 There's like types of runs that are like, how few captures can you do like to complete the game? 00:16:41.782 --> 00:16:45.242 There's ones that are like coin lists, all those sorts of things. 00:16:45.982 --> 00:16:48.262 And they're wicked and wild and cool. 00:16:48.762 --> 00:16:50.262 Speed runs are cool, obviously. 00:16:51.342 --> 00:16:51.922 You know what? 00:16:52.302 --> 00:17:00.042 Super Mario Rara, Super Mario Odyssey, Super Mario Odyssey. 00:17:00.062 --> 00:17:00.782 Thank you. 00:17:00.802 --> 00:17:02.662 We can move on to the next craving now. 00:17:02.682 --> 00:17:03.802 I found the joke. 00:17:06.862 --> 00:17:12.802 So my next craving is definitely related to Super Mario Raracy. 00:17:12.822 --> 00:17:15.402 No, sorry, it was Super Mario Odyssey. 00:17:17.622 --> 00:17:27.042 Because I want trans women to be allowed to step off the pedestal that they are put on within leftist spaces, and then they fuck up. 00:17:28.382 --> 00:17:28.942 Oh, boy. 00:17:29.082 --> 00:17:32.302 This is a fun craving that I just casually had. 00:17:33.662 --> 00:17:37.022 This is a fun craving you just casually had for no reason. 00:17:37.042 --> 00:17:41.062 Just from time to time. 00:17:41.082 --> 00:17:54.842 So this happens is the thing basically to say, terms of it are held to one might call ridiculous standard within a lot of communities, not just leftist communities, I'll say, in general. 00:17:54.862 --> 00:18:00.442 I mean, the craving is specifically that because those are the communities that I am in. 00:18:00.602 --> 00:18:06.662 So I guess I really only have one question for you, Clair, which is when they step off the pedestal, where are they stepping on to? 00:18:07.722 --> 00:18:08.382 Speedboat. 00:18:09.262 --> 00:18:11.742 Hell, yeah, dude, I want a speedboat. 00:18:12.042 --> 00:18:13.122 That sounds rad. 00:18:13.142 --> 00:18:15.382 We're going to get off this pedestal real quick. 00:18:15.642 --> 00:18:17.042 We're just going to get off this pedestal. 00:18:17.062 --> 00:18:17.982 Yeah, hell yeah. 00:18:18.942 --> 00:18:21.082 There's just a yacht waiting for every trans woman. 00:18:21.562 --> 00:18:21.962 Uh-huh. 00:18:22.202 --> 00:18:25.362 We're going to form this community in the ocean. 00:18:25.522 --> 00:18:27.502 Oh, no, there's drama now. 00:18:29.862 --> 00:18:31.122 Yes, what could go wrong? 00:18:31.142 --> 00:18:34.542 We're going to get all these trans women together in the middle of the ocean. 00:18:36.242 --> 00:18:37.382 On a giant yacht. 00:18:37.582 --> 00:18:40.162 Hey, imagine if you just had a yacht society. 00:18:40.182 --> 00:18:42.862 A yacht society? 00:18:42.982 --> 00:18:46.462 A yacht society? 00:18:46.682 --> 00:18:47.542 Is that anything? 00:18:47.802 --> 00:18:49.282 Everyone just plays yachtsy. 00:18:50.962 --> 00:18:53.142 Teach trans women how to play yachtsy. 00:18:55.982 --> 00:19:00.722 If you truly want to support us, you have to teach us how to play yachtsy. 00:19:00.742 --> 00:19:01.882 It's been many years. 00:19:01.902 --> 00:19:03.442 I haven't played yachtsy in a bit. 00:19:03.462 --> 00:19:04.502 I forget how to play it. 00:19:05.822 --> 00:19:10.262 Community service looks like teaching your local trans women how to play yachtsy. 00:19:12.262 --> 00:19:14.262 That's how to be a true trans ally. 00:19:14.282 --> 00:19:20.122 Yeah, I think this is a good vibe. 00:19:20.582 --> 00:19:34.962 Now, my only concern here is what if people think that trans women are so perfect and can never fuck up, that we are like Jesus and that we can walk on water and they start thinking we'll just be able to walk on water. 00:19:34.982 --> 00:19:36.742 I mean, don't reveal that. 00:19:37.122 --> 00:19:42.942 Otherwise, people are going to want to come watch us in our new yacht society, because now they'll know that we can walk on water. 00:19:42.962 --> 00:19:47.362 But Clair, we can't walk on water. 00:19:48.562 --> 00:19:50.062 They think we can because they... 00:19:50.802 --> 00:19:51.142 What? 00:19:52.962 --> 00:19:58.402 There's just, you know, you know there's like a sub percentage of trans women that can just walk on water, right? 00:19:58.482 --> 00:20:00.642 There's just like that sub portion. 00:20:00.642 --> 00:20:02.922 Like, this is how trans women find each other. 00:20:02.942 --> 00:20:06.182 I don't think that you have to be a sub trans woman to walk on water. 00:20:06.202 --> 00:20:07.842 I'm just going to say it. 00:20:09.742 --> 00:20:10.562 Oh, God. 00:20:11.502 --> 00:20:21.142 Meanwhile, on the yacht, there's just this other group of trans women just like chilling on the water, just like sitting on top of the water, playing yacht sea on top of the water. 00:20:21.162 --> 00:20:27.742 And then you try to like, but then you try to like shake the dice out, the dice can't walk on water, so they just sink. 00:20:30.002 --> 00:20:32.642 You're like, oh, shit, this happened again. 00:20:32.662 --> 00:20:36.162 It's like, why don't you come up onto the deck to play yacht sea? 00:20:37.162 --> 00:20:40.322 And then they're like, oh, can you walk on water? 00:20:40.442 --> 00:20:41.382 That's what I thought. 00:20:42.702 --> 00:20:43.542 Can't catch us. 00:20:43.682 --> 00:20:45.702 Does this mean trans women are hydrophobic? 00:20:50.182 --> 00:20:56.662 Now, listen, I don't know about this new hydrosexuality. 00:20:57.382 --> 00:20:58.942 You never just want to fuck water. 00:21:03.722 --> 00:21:07.902 I'll take things one shouldn't do for 10,000. 00:21:09.442 --> 00:21:14.502 Of this new Jeopardy column. 00:21:14.522 --> 00:21:16.042 Hey, here's the new Jeopardy column. 00:21:16.402 --> 00:21:19.302 It's things expected of famous trans women. 00:21:19.322 --> 00:21:25.982 I have one, which is, so different category, things expected of famous trans women. 00:21:26.922 --> 00:21:33.402 One of the ones says, a synonym for words like flawless without false. 00:21:34.182 --> 00:21:35.062 What is perfect? 00:21:35.202 --> 00:21:35.582 Yes. 00:21:36.462 --> 00:21:37.102 Amazing. 00:21:37.382 --> 00:21:38.582 That's actual Jeopardy. 00:21:38.582 --> 00:21:39.842 I did the whole Jeopardy bit. 00:21:40.002 --> 00:21:42.782 I can't believe you did a whole Jeopardy bit on the show. 00:21:42.802 --> 00:21:46.022 Thanks for bringing Jeopardy onto Salt Cravings. 00:21:46.042 --> 00:21:49.402 Hey, watch Jeopardy next Tuesday at 8 a.m. 00:21:49.502 --> 00:21:51.262 Sponsored by Salt Cravings. 00:21:51.582 --> 00:21:53.642 I don't fucking know when Jeopardy is on. 00:21:54.502 --> 00:21:58.822 Is Jeopardy sponsored by Salt Cravings or is Salt Cravings sponsored by Jeopardy? 00:21:58.862 --> 00:22:01.082 No, we're sponsoring Salt Cravings, didn't you know? 00:22:01.902 --> 00:22:02.842 Or no, sorry. 00:22:03.642 --> 00:22:04.082 I mean- 00:22:04.102 --> 00:22:08.262 Yeah, no, we are sponsoring Salt Cravings by making the show. 00:22:08.282 --> 00:22:09.542 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:22:09.542 --> 00:22:13.882 Hey, what if you just referred to all the content you made as being sponsored by yourself? 00:22:14.262 --> 00:22:16.282 It's all sponsored content now. 00:22:16.302 --> 00:22:17.342 Do you want to move on? 00:22:17.442 --> 00:22:19.042 I'm happy to move on with this. 00:22:20.302 --> 00:22:24.282 I just want to say there's a real problem. 00:22:24.822 --> 00:22:26.722 We are talking about a real phenomenon. 00:22:26.742 --> 00:22:27.302 Oh, yeah. 00:22:27.562 --> 00:22:31.122 I would highly recommend doing some reading on it if you don't know where to start. 00:22:32.002 --> 00:22:34.202 Hot Allostatic Load would be- 00:22:34.222 --> 00:22:39.582 Hot Allostatic Load would be just a good entry essay Yeah. 00:22:39.742 --> 00:22:42.362 It's something that is forever relevant. 00:22:42.442 --> 00:22:48.562 It's five years old at this point, and I just every year I think of it at least like three times. 00:22:50.842 --> 00:22:54.382 What's another, what's a craven that you were having? 00:22:54.402 --> 00:23:02.742 I don't typically do two, let's make a piece of media cravings in one episode. 00:23:03.142 --> 00:23:10.562 I have a solution before you even say what it is, this is just going to be DLC for the last media we made. 00:23:10.582 --> 00:23:12.762 Uh oh, no, it's not. 00:23:12.782 --> 00:23:15.342 Tell us your craven, Brianna. 00:23:15.362 --> 00:23:16.802 Or actually could be, I suppose. 00:23:17.082 --> 00:23:17.882 Tell us your craven. 00:23:18.562 --> 00:23:19.922 You know about frame narratives? 00:23:19.942 --> 00:23:24.562 So like telling a story from different perspectives? 00:23:25.362 --> 00:23:25.842 Sort of. 00:23:25.922 --> 00:23:33.122 It's like so there's a story happening, then there's another bigger kind of story that's happening within. 00:23:33.142 --> 00:23:35.522 A good example is like an A plot and a B plot. 00:23:35.982 --> 00:23:39.262 The Princess Bride is a frame narrative because it is a narrative. 00:23:39.282 --> 00:23:44.242 It is this grandpa reading the story to his son. 00:23:44.262 --> 00:23:46.922 But the story itself is the story. 00:23:47.422 --> 00:23:47.982 It's storyception. 00:23:48.002 --> 00:23:49.042 So there's a frame narrative. 00:23:49.482 --> 00:23:50.402 It's storyception. 00:23:50.462 --> 00:23:50.922 Yeah. 00:23:51.122 --> 00:23:57.182 So this is the DLC where NASA tells the story about a parkouring dinosaur. 00:23:58.102 --> 00:24:04.802 Except now you get to explore the dinosaurs coming back and setting up Jurassic Park. 00:24:05.222 --> 00:24:11.482 So you're sort of getting like one level, which is like in the past as NASA tells this story. 00:24:11.502 --> 00:24:13.882 And then the next level takes place at the present. 00:24:14.202 --> 00:24:14.562 Okay. 00:24:14.582 --> 00:24:15.622 And here's the best part. 00:24:15.822 --> 00:24:16.802 Here's the best part. 00:24:17.422 --> 00:24:21.882 In the past, it is a 3D platformer and you're playing a 3D platformer. 00:24:22.062 --> 00:24:24.202 In the present, it's like roller coaster tycoon. 00:24:25.962 --> 00:24:35.182 It's just a completely different game where you are setting up this Jurassic Park and it is completely unrelated to the 3D platformer. 00:24:35.442 --> 00:24:41.482 But if you pick up extra things in the 3D platformer levels, you get bonuses when you try and build the park. 00:24:41.542 --> 00:24:46.642 Like if you save the stegosaurus in the past, the stegosaurus comes to the future. 00:24:46.682 --> 00:24:47.542 That's how it works. 00:24:47.562 --> 00:24:48.082 Exactly. 00:24:48.722 --> 00:24:49.582 Exactly. 00:24:49.702 --> 00:24:55.882 The collectibles have a purpose because all of the collectibles help you have more stuff. 00:24:56.162 --> 00:24:58.582 You know, your coins, you have more money, right? 00:24:58.602 --> 00:25:00.642 I love when collectibles have a use. 00:25:01.262 --> 00:25:02.022 Me too. 00:25:02.122 --> 00:25:04.822 And they have a use when you're making the park. 00:25:05.482 --> 00:25:07.002 So what are our collectibles? 00:25:07.342 --> 00:25:08.842 Are they just other dinosaurs? 00:25:08.862 --> 00:25:10.302 They could be other dinosaurs. 00:25:10.322 --> 00:25:11.262 Dino bones. 00:25:11.462 --> 00:25:12.542 What if they're fossils? 00:25:12.622 --> 00:25:13.902 Yeah. 00:25:13.942 --> 00:25:17.982 You are collecting fossils to then fill up your park. 00:25:18.042 --> 00:25:19.962 It's sort of like Animal Crossing. 00:25:20.522 --> 00:25:22.002 What about this? 00:25:22.022 --> 00:25:26.542 You're in the past, you're doing some parkour, you collect your fossil and you bring it to the future. 00:25:26.982 --> 00:25:31.582 Then you turn the fossil into a dinosaur like Pokemon, you know, totally normal. 00:25:31.842 --> 00:25:35.782