WEBVTT 00:00:25.842 --> 00:00:30.002 Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Late Show with Salt Cravings. 00:00:30.302 --> 00:00:32.462 I'm your host, Brianna. 00:00:32.582 --> 00:00:39.242 Oh, it is just the most wonderful night here on this Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday night. 00:00:39.682 --> 00:00:41.102 Oh, we are so excited. 00:00:41.122 --> 00:00:44.082 And I'll tell you, I'll tell you why we're excited today. 00:00:44.262 --> 00:00:48.182 Today we have just this, we have an incredible guest today. 00:00:48.642 --> 00:00:49.522 I'm so excited. 00:00:49.662 --> 00:00:51.902 You love her, I love her, we all love her. 00:00:52.662 --> 00:00:57.142 Please welcome our guest, Clair. 00:00:57.162 --> 00:00:58.702 Hi, thanks for welcoming me. 00:01:00.282 --> 00:01:07.622 I've never been on this show before, so I'm really excited to learn why people actually listen to it. 00:01:07.642 --> 00:01:14.142 I am so, I'm so excited to show you why people actually listen to it. 00:01:14.142 --> 00:01:15.042 Ha ha ha ha ha. 00:01:18.602 --> 00:01:22.902 Did you just laugh, Trak? 00:01:22.982 --> 00:01:27.882 That was the live studio audience we were filming in front of, of course, on this, the Late Show with Salt Cravings. 00:01:29.722 --> 00:01:37.742 So tell me, Clair, you know, you've got a lot of projects going on, of course, as we know. 00:01:37.762 --> 00:01:39.982 Why would you call me out like this? 00:01:43.662 --> 00:01:44.942 Oh, yeah. 00:01:45.262 --> 00:01:48.542 Do you want to tell us about what you're working on right now? 00:01:49.102 --> 00:01:52.362 Yeah, I'm working on, it's actually a biopic. 00:01:52.622 --> 00:02:02.402 It's about this girl who takes on too many projects and then never finishes any of them and instead just starts like 50 different projects. 00:02:02.482 --> 00:02:05.142 And eventually they all come to a head. 00:02:05.262 --> 00:02:06.442 And there's a whole thing. 00:02:07.242 --> 00:02:14.782 There's like a subplot about magical girl stuff and there's another universe where she has to save it as well. 00:02:15.542 --> 00:02:23.142 And then ultimately her friendships all end because she has made too many commitments that she can't uphold. 00:02:23.282 --> 00:02:29.702 And her life comes to an end at the very beginning, actually. 00:02:29.722 --> 00:02:31.722 It's about her ghost. 00:02:31.742 --> 00:02:33.102 That's quite a setup for a movie. 00:02:35.382 --> 00:02:36.742 And so tell me, when is that one coming out? 00:02:37.362 --> 00:02:38.842 Yesterday, actually. 00:02:38.902 --> 00:02:41.162 It went right to on demand. 00:02:41.402 --> 00:02:42.902 I don't know if theaters didn't want this one. 00:02:42.922 --> 00:02:45.642 I should have known that. 00:02:48.322 --> 00:02:51.442 So do you just push a button or like, how do you... 00:02:52.022 --> 00:02:53.522 Look out at the audience, Clair. 00:02:53.542 --> 00:02:57.922 Don't you see the live studio audience today for our show today? 00:02:59.922 --> 00:03:01.322 You have to be cool. 00:03:01.342 --> 00:03:04.242 You have to make them believe that there's a live studio audience. 00:03:04.762 --> 00:03:13.502 I mean, look, if you can't make me believe that there's a live studio audience, how am I supposed to believe that they believe that there's a live studio audience, right? 00:03:13.502 --> 00:03:17.122 It's all like, I'm an actor, but you got to give me something to work with. 00:03:17.902 --> 00:03:18.882 Of course, of course. 00:03:19.622 --> 00:03:21.102 No, very, very, very funny. 00:03:21.322 --> 00:03:22.842 We're just going to go to commercial. 00:03:23.782 --> 00:03:27.682 And when we come back, let's start with your first craving. 00:03:28.802 --> 00:03:30.162 OK, that was the cut to commercial. 00:03:30.202 --> 00:03:31.662 So now no one can hear us. 00:03:34.862 --> 00:03:36.122 So what's your first craving going to be? 00:03:36.862 --> 00:03:40.682 Oh, wait, are we just going to are we not going to talk about it on the show? 00:03:40.782 --> 00:03:42.802 Are we going to just cut back? 00:03:42.822 --> 00:03:45.442 Tell me it and then I'll and then I'll I'll bring us back in. 00:03:45.462 --> 00:03:47.682 I just want to know how to, you know, how to how to get us back in. 00:03:48.902 --> 00:03:49.302 Great. 00:03:50.102 --> 00:03:54.582 I mean, I've just been really craving having a goddamn memory. 00:03:55.982 --> 00:03:57.162 That's that's a really good craving. 00:03:57.182 --> 00:03:57.482 All right. 00:03:57.502 --> 00:04:00.002 Let me let me let me just bring us bring us in. 00:04:00.022 --> 00:04:00.342 All right. 00:04:00.842 --> 00:04:06.402 Hey, everyone, we are back and we are just ready to start out with with Claire's first first craving here today. 00:04:06.422 --> 00:04:09.822 Now, Clair, tell me, what do you remember about what your craving is? 00:04:12.902 --> 00:04:16.022 Uh, God, we just talked about this, didn't we? 00:04:17.222 --> 00:04:19.642 Like, I just told you, did we? 00:04:19.642 --> 00:04:21.522 I thought I told you what my craving was. 00:04:22.642 --> 00:04:24.262 Oh, no, no, no, no. 00:04:24.842 --> 00:04:28.822 And no, you you have it on the show yet on the show that we're on. 00:04:29.282 --> 00:04:30.662 Said what the craving is. 00:04:32.682 --> 00:04:33.702 Oh, okay. 00:04:34.062 --> 00:04:40.742 Um, yeah, I've just been really craving having I can't put my finger on it. 00:04:43.882 --> 00:04:46.062 Um, can you help? 00:04:47.602 --> 00:04:48.102 Yeah. 00:04:48.262 --> 00:04:56.702 Well, what you were saying to me before the show started backstage, of course, was you were saying that it was about memory and wanting to have a memory. 00:04:56.902 --> 00:04:58.182 Why would I say memory? 00:04:58.202 --> 00:04:59.622 I have perfect memory. 00:05:03.602 --> 00:05:06.262 So tell me, Clair, uh, how? 00:05:06.542 --> 00:05:09.702 OK, so so your craving is having a goddamn memory. 00:05:09.922 --> 00:05:10.982 Did I say that? 00:05:13.322 --> 00:05:15.182 You can't keep throwing those jokes. 00:05:15.202 --> 00:05:17.282 You're the one who keeps going with the bit. 00:05:19.462 --> 00:05:23.322 Yeah, because my bit was the funniest bit we've ever done on this show of all time. 00:05:24.022 --> 00:05:25.122 The best bit we've ever done. 00:05:25.162 --> 00:05:27.302 It was an all time bit. 00:05:27.322 --> 00:05:35.222 It's going to when someone makes the best of Salt Cravings, it's the one of them is going to be that time that Brianna pretended she was the host of a late night talk show. 00:05:36.442 --> 00:05:40.402 Soon you're just going to be up there with like Kimmy Smedal or whatever. 00:05:40.802 --> 00:05:44.162 What's that guy's name? 00:05:44.302 --> 00:05:50.902 I believe you're thinking of you're thinking of Jimmy John. 00:05:50.922 --> 00:05:51.162 Yeah. 00:05:51.182 --> 00:05:51.622 Fergie. 00:05:52.002 --> 00:05:54.962 Fergie has her own like late night show. 00:05:54.982 --> 00:05:56.582 I don't know. 00:05:56.602 --> 00:05:57.822 Jimmy John Fergie. 00:05:58.262 --> 00:06:01.082 Oh, I didn't realize Fergie was her family name. 00:06:01.922 --> 00:06:02.402 Yeah. 00:06:02.422 --> 00:06:05.722 Well, of course, she's she's that's so like formal. 00:06:05.902 --> 00:06:11.322 Imagine like becoming an amazing celebrity and then going by your last name. 00:06:11.342 --> 00:06:13.242 That'd be a little weird. 00:06:13.502 --> 00:06:19.762 It's very especially brave for the two of us because of our last names being Ross and Price. 00:06:20.322 --> 00:06:23.742 What if we only introduce ourselves as Ross and Price now? 00:06:24.482 --> 00:06:26.862 OK, so we're going to do the whole bit from the beginning. 00:06:27.202 --> 00:06:30.822 This time, I'm only going to call yourself Price and I'm going to call you Ross. 00:06:30.842 --> 00:06:32.682 And that's going to go from the top. 00:06:32.782 --> 00:06:33.942 Three, two, one, break. 00:06:38.842 --> 00:06:41.322 How do we get a goddamn memory? 00:06:42.202 --> 00:06:44.522 What if we were to simply... 00:06:45.342 --> 00:06:46.282 Write things down. 00:06:47.182 --> 00:06:47.882 No, that's... 00:06:49.002 --> 00:06:50.242 No, that doesn't work. 00:06:50.262 --> 00:06:51.102 Trust me, I've been there. 00:06:53.302 --> 00:06:54.722 So we all hate Harry Potter. 00:06:55.302 --> 00:07:02.102 But there is that moment when one of them puts their memories in a memory pool. 00:07:02.262 --> 00:07:05.062 Yeah, we did talk about that last time. 00:07:05.422 --> 00:07:06.742 We did talk about that last time. 00:07:06.762 --> 00:07:07.862 Yeah, I was wondering when that had come up. 00:07:08.122 --> 00:07:10.742 We've never done a memory-related craving before, right? 00:07:10.762 --> 00:07:11.182 Have we? 00:07:11.562 --> 00:07:14.062 I'm almost certainly not sure. 00:07:14.102 --> 00:07:16.102 Honestly, I'm almost certainly not sure. 00:07:16.162 --> 00:07:17.602 That is the answer. 00:07:17.622 --> 00:07:20.582 If I had a memory, I could tell you, but I do not, so... 00:07:21.022 --> 00:07:22.142 Yep, and you know what? 00:07:22.482 --> 00:07:25.622 If we have, it's kind of funny, isn't it, that we can't remember? 00:07:25.962 --> 00:07:27.002 It's a little funny. 00:07:27.562 --> 00:07:33.062 Clearly our last go at this craving didn't work super well since we can't remember whether we've done it before or not. 00:07:33.382 --> 00:07:34.882 So maybe we need a new solution. 00:07:34.902 --> 00:07:36.682 Okay, so what if we were to... 00:07:37.162 --> 00:07:39.502 You know how they talk about downloading more RAM? 00:07:40.262 --> 00:07:43.122 I do know the joke of downloading more RAM, yes? 00:07:43.382 --> 00:07:47.442 Yes, the way that you download more RAM, a thing that you can totally do. 00:07:47.842 --> 00:07:48.202 Right. 00:07:48.382 --> 00:07:50.742 So what if you could download more RAM into your brain? 00:07:52.302 --> 00:07:53.742 So you're... 00:07:53.982 --> 00:07:56.542 Okay, so I do have a question about this. 00:07:57.162 --> 00:08:04.742 I think the better equivalency, not to be the pedantic computer nerd, but is to have an extra hard drive. 00:08:06.022 --> 00:08:08.102 But Clair, think about it. 00:08:08.462 --> 00:08:11.562 Wouldn't you like to be able to randomly access your memory? 00:08:14.622 --> 00:08:19.962 I'm sure you would love to be able to access your memory randomly at any time you need. 00:08:20.182 --> 00:08:25.702 The biggest question is, is this an internal or an external memory? 00:08:25.942 --> 00:08:30.982 Can I unhook this memory or is this something that's built into my brain? 00:08:32.582 --> 00:08:34.942 I think it's whatever you want. 00:08:34.962 --> 00:08:39.022 Would you rather have it built in or would you rather have a place where you can store memories? 00:08:39.722 --> 00:08:47.082 It is a little hard because if you did build it in, it would probably just be screwed on to your head. 00:08:47.102 --> 00:08:57.422 And also, I'm getting intense flashbacks now to a memory hat that we might have created, which does just sound very us first and foremost. 00:08:58.262 --> 00:09:00.382 But also is a great solution to this. 00:09:01.022 --> 00:09:02.742 Perhaps we've already done this one. 00:09:03.022 --> 00:09:07.962 I think we might have arrived at this conclusion in a different way. 00:09:08.002 --> 00:09:24.682 But instead of an external solution, like a memory hat, which who knows, maybe you can just get a lovely sun hat, and it's actually just made out of brain, but it looks like a sun hat, and it just extends your brain capacity. 00:09:25.082 --> 00:09:26.322 What would that feel like? 00:09:26.842 --> 00:09:28.482 Do you think it would dry out in the sun? 00:09:28.882 --> 00:09:30.522 Probably wouldn't last in the sun. 00:09:31.002 --> 00:09:32.922 Maybe that's why it has to be inside you. 00:09:32.942 --> 00:09:37.082 What if we were to just start replacing unnecessary organs in your body with more brain? 00:09:37.162 --> 00:09:40.402 All right, can you list some unnecessary organs for me, Brianna? 00:09:40.522 --> 00:09:41.942 Appendix. 00:09:41.962 --> 00:09:43.762 Not unnecessary, we learned. 00:09:44.002 --> 00:09:44.642 Appendix. 00:09:45.822 --> 00:09:47.162 Appendix unnecessary. 00:09:47.522 --> 00:09:48.922 Liver, who needs it? 00:09:49.042 --> 00:09:51.362 You got two of them, I think. 00:09:51.842 --> 00:09:52.442 Fuck it. 00:09:52.882 --> 00:09:54.122 Brain intestines. 00:09:55.322 --> 00:09:56.142 Sorry, what? 00:09:56.502 --> 00:09:57.762 Brain intestines. 00:09:58.462 --> 00:09:59.162 What are those? 00:09:59.302 --> 00:10:01.522 What is a brain intestine? 00:10:01.902 --> 00:10:04.742 You take intestines and you convert it into a brain. 00:10:05.262 --> 00:10:10.542 Oh, I thought you were saying this is something we already had, and I was very concerned. 00:10:10.702 --> 00:10:12.062 I think you were shitting out of... 00:10:13.922 --> 00:10:16.202 I mean, they do kind of just look like brains already. 00:10:16.602 --> 00:10:18.442 True, they do, so you're pretty close. 00:10:18.462 --> 00:10:21.262 I mean, if you think about it, you don't need most of the organs in your body. 00:10:21.822 --> 00:10:23.482 They can all kind of be replaced with brains. 00:10:23.702 --> 00:10:38.562 We could just sort of reroute the digestive system, you know, like instead of a complex series of tubes that internally take in the nutrition, what we can do is we can kind of just have it stop at the stomach. 00:10:38.582 --> 00:10:49.982 Now, if we give every person sort of like a cremation stomach, have you ever seen a cremator, how it just gets really, really, really hot, and basically the only things left are like bones? 00:10:50.382 --> 00:11:04.062 We don't usually eat bones, so I think we'll be good if we just change our stomach into, you know, like a cremation oven, and then we just sort of use the rest of the space for bottom brain. 00:11:05.482 --> 00:11:05.882 Right. 00:11:06.322 --> 00:11:08.162 Yeah, I think that that makes sense to me. 00:11:08.382 --> 00:11:10.762 So that feels like the easy part, right? 00:11:10.782 --> 00:11:12.482 Like converting the intestines in the brain. 00:11:12.502 --> 00:11:17.522 They already kind of just look like brains, like I mean, I'm sure science has already figured it out. 00:11:17.542 --> 00:11:20.082 I'm, you know, I'm going to just assume that's a yes. 00:11:20.482 --> 00:11:23.502 I think what about like cremation stomach? 00:11:23.522 --> 00:11:25.402 How are we going to make that a reality? 00:11:25.502 --> 00:11:25.802 Right. 00:11:25.822 --> 00:11:27.082 Because that can get pretty hot. 00:11:27.262 --> 00:11:30.462 Because once we solve that, everything else just falls into place. 00:11:30.822 --> 00:11:37.002 So the first thing that you need is a way to heat proof it so that it doesn't burn up the rest of you. 00:11:38.362 --> 00:11:41.622 So we need some heat proof shielding to go around it. 00:11:41.942 --> 00:11:46.782 And that heat proof shielding also has to be totally cool with like being in your body. 00:11:47.182 --> 00:11:54.202 There's like those bacteria that live near hot vents at the bottom of the ocean. 00:11:54.642 --> 00:11:56.782 What if we made a bacteria wall? 00:11:57.562 --> 00:12:00.782 What if we put more bacteria in your stomach? 00:12:01.182 --> 00:12:05.662 I figured out the perfect biologically sound and totally normal solution. 00:12:06.302 --> 00:12:07.622 Extra bacteria. 00:12:07.982 --> 00:12:09.182 Extra bacteria. 00:12:09.202 --> 00:12:17.362 We're just gonna make a snack that you can eat that's gonna turn your stomach into an irrefutable fire machine. 00:12:17.382 --> 00:12:25.382 And not only is this great for, you know, digestion, it basically means you can eat whatever you want except bones. 00:12:25.382 --> 00:12:27.002 I just need to make that very clear. 00:12:27.022 --> 00:12:28.162 Do not eat bones. 00:12:28.862 --> 00:12:30.522 Or bone-like substances. 00:12:31.082 --> 00:12:31.342 Oh, wait. 00:12:31.422 --> 00:12:32.562 It's gotta be multiple. 00:12:33.062 --> 00:12:34.042 No, you can eat bones. 00:12:34.082 --> 00:12:35.102 I've changed my mind. 00:12:35.282 --> 00:12:37.042 You can absolutely eat bones. 00:12:37.502 --> 00:12:39.802 We're just gonna have to learn how to eat like an owl. 00:12:41.462 --> 00:12:44.142 Okay, tell me a little bit more about eating like an owl. 00:12:44.462 --> 00:12:48.902 Have you ever dissected the pellets that owls cough up? 00:12:49.842 --> 00:12:50.322 No. 00:12:50.642 --> 00:12:51.042 Really? 00:12:51.742 --> 00:13:03.882 So owls will eat the animal whole, usually a mouse, and then they will digest all of the edible parts, and then they will cough back up the bones and fur. 00:13:04.082 --> 00:13:06.062 So yeah, you could totally do that. 00:13:06.082 --> 00:13:08.122 We are just gonna have to learn to be more owl-like. 00:13:08.542 --> 00:13:10.022 And also, if you think about it... 00:13:10.622 --> 00:13:12.082 It's more cat-like, too. 00:13:12.682 --> 00:13:15.902 We're just one step closer to cat boys and cat girls. 00:13:15.922 --> 00:13:17.162 That's what I'm proposing. 00:13:17.722 --> 00:13:22.362 Or owl boys and owl girls and owl non-binary people, of course. 00:13:22.462 --> 00:13:28.322 Because the thing that I'm thinking about it is what's wiser than an owl, right? 00:13:28.782 --> 00:13:34.562 You're already wanting to be wiser and know more things and to remember more things. 00:13:34.762 --> 00:13:37.182 So you're basically already trying to be more like an owl. 00:13:37.502 --> 00:13:39.722 What if we just fuse with owls? 00:13:39.782 --> 00:13:42.902 What if we just become owl people? 00:13:43.402 --> 00:13:44.502 I like this idea. 00:13:44.522 --> 00:13:49.262 So tell me, can you just tell me a little bit about how we're going to fuse with owls? 00:13:49.842 --> 00:13:50.942 Inject the DNA. 00:13:52.442 --> 00:13:56.362 So, and then from there, will it just transform us? 00:13:56.802 --> 00:13:57.922 Well, no. 00:13:58.502 --> 00:14:04.682 I mean, we've already gone through multiple instances of puberty. 00:14:04.782 --> 00:14:08.742 Really, we just need a third puberty, owl puberty. 00:14:09.242 --> 00:14:17.922 Losing it over the assumed we of this is only, I'm only talking to trans people who've gone through a second puberty. 00:14:17.942 --> 00:14:24.062 Well, I was actually just talking to you and me. 00:14:24.362 --> 00:14:28.742 But yes, if you haven't gone through a second puberty, why are you even here? 00:14:29.182 --> 00:14:31.862 Only people who have gone through two puberties are valid. 00:14:33.562 --> 00:14:37.382 Some people are trans and have only gone through one puberty, and they're also valid. 00:14:38.342 --> 00:14:44.702 Hey, it doesn't matter if you're trans and haven't gone through two puberties, and if you're cis and have gone through two puberties. 00:14:45.062 --> 00:14:46.402 You know, I said what I said. 00:14:46.622 --> 00:14:48.582 You know, two puberties are GTFO. 00:14:49.342 --> 00:14:53.162 I would like to distance myself from problematic Clair Ross. 00:14:54.822 --> 00:14:59.882 I am just saying, you know, I didn't know that she held these opinions. 00:14:59.882 --> 00:15:02.302 I didn't know that that Clair was a true scum. 00:15:03.482 --> 00:15:13.182 But no, no, no, I'm not saying anything about like, God, what are other true scum binary people aren't real. 00:15:13.702 --> 00:15:14.822 Right, right, right. 00:15:15.102 --> 00:15:18.122 Also, I guess it would more be transmed than true scum anyway. 00:15:18.902 --> 00:15:23.022 Yeah, it'd be like it'd be like a sub portion of transmed. 00:15:23.042 --> 00:15:33.242 I've created a new sub transmedicalism where, yeah, trans people are valid, including non-binary people, but only if they've gone through two puberties. 00:15:33.662 --> 00:15:36.222 I don't even care how they've gone through two puberties. 00:15:36.242 --> 00:15:38.102 I don't even care if it's the same puberty. 00:15:38.322 --> 00:15:40.302 If you've done it twice, that's fine. 00:15:41.162 --> 00:15:48.602 The only people who are valid are the ones who've gone through two puberties, and we're not here to define what second puberty looks like. 00:15:49.922 --> 00:15:54.062 But a third puberty, an owl puberty here, that's a good idea. 00:15:54.502 --> 00:16:00.962 I think one day you just wake up and there's some feathers, and that's just part of your new state. 00:16:01.202 --> 00:16:03.602 I mean, have you seen baby owls? 00:16:04.282 --> 00:16:05.882 Their feathers are really, really... 00:16:06.442 --> 00:16:08.002 They start out very... 00:16:08.022 --> 00:16:11.842 I don't want to say slimy, because that's not correct. 00:16:12.122 --> 00:16:14.362 But also, what if they started out slimy? 00:16:14.962 --> 00:16:22.242 So it's not actually that you're noticing feathers, it's just that you start noticing slime on your skin, which is very similar to a lot of puberties. 00:16:22.922 --> 00:16:23.362 Yeah. 00:16:25.282 --> 00:16:26.122 Yeah, and then... 00:16:26.142 --> 00:16:32.002 I think they're sliming and sprouting and hardening, all the things that come with most puberties. 00:16:32.542 --> 00:16:35.962 And slowly but surely, you start to become an owl person. 00:16:36.862 --> 00:16:37.302 Yeah. 00:16:37.862 --> 00:16:45.742 And also, your brain just gets huge and brilliant because of your wisdom that you've acquired by being an owl person. 00:16:46.442 --> 00:16:46.922 Yeah. 00:16:46.942 --> 00:16:48.422 You start to remember everything. 00:16:48.522 --> 00:16:49.342 You remember everything. 00:16:49.362 --> 00:16:52.442 Actually, we should have gone with elephants for this because elephants never forget. 00:16:52.462 --> 00:16:53.082 It's too late. 00:16:53.102 --> 00:16:53.962 We can't go back. 00:16:54.182 --> 00:16:56.282 I've already started injecting myself. 00:16:58.602 --> 00:17:00.282 Taking owl injections. 00:17:00.642 --> 00:17:02.342 Oh, excellent. 00:17:02.502 --> 00:17:04.762 I take them owl-y. 00:17:04.782 --> 00:17:10.042 Oh, I'm in such immense pain. 00:17:10.722 --> 00:17:12.022 It's the owl juice. 00:17:13.662 --> 00:17:15.442 I'm owl about this craving. 00:17:15.542 --> 00:17:19.182 Do you want to move on? 00:17:19.362 --> 00:17:20.662 Yeah, I think we can. 00:17:20.782 --> 00:17:21.302 You know what? 00:17:21.402 --> 00:17:31.422 I'm just going to go ahead and take us out of the body horror zone, which I've probably put a content warning in here for body horror, just to warn people. 00:17:31.762 --> 00:17:34.022 And hey, welcome back from that. 00:17:34.262 --> 00:17:36.262 And now for my craving. 00:17:36.962 --> 00:17:37.722 I need to know. 00:17:37.742 --> 00:17:39.742 Now here's what I need to know. 00:17:42.462 --> 00:17:45.002 Which games in the big bundle are good? 00:17:48.762 --> 00:17:56.602 So for those who aren't gamers or don't know games at all, you may not be aware. 00:17:57.022 --> 00:17:58.402 What is a game, Brianna? 00:17:58.422 --> 00:18:01.702 A miserable little pile of secrets. 00:18:02.442 --> 00:18:03.442 But enough talk. 00:18:04.462 --> 00:18:05.222 I lost you. 00:18:05.882 --> 00:18:11.922 itch.io, which is a game platform, both for video games and tabletop games. 00:18:12.242 --> 00:18:12.682 Mainly. 00:18:13.222 --> 00:18:15.562 It did recently this huge bundle. 00:18:15.662 --> 00:18:18.642 It ended up having like 1700 games in it. 00:18:19.982 --> 00:18:22.142 Jesus, that went up so much more. 00:18:22.162 --> 00:18:24.862 It sure did. 00:18:25.102 --> 00:18:31.842 And it has a whole bunch of games in it that are of different genres or different creators. 00:18:31.862 --> 00:18:41.442 And it was a bundle that was selling these games and then donating to various charities to support racial justice and equity. 00:18:42.102 --> 00:18:46.042 And so basically they sold this bundle. 00:18:46.142 --> 00:18:49.322 And I obviously got this bundle because it's incredible. 00:18:49.342 --> 00:18:50.322 It's a lot of games. 00:18:50.602 --> 00:18:56.222 And there's a couple of games that are like, oh yeah, fairly well known, like Night in the Woods, Celeste is in there. 00:18:56.302 --> 00:18:57.762 There's a whole bunch of good games in there. 00:18:58.862 --> 00:19:08.602 I, you know, the bundle is unfortunately over at this point, but you know, if you picked it up, I would definitely recommend Celeste, at the very least. 00:19:10.042 --> 00:19:14.322 But there's a couple of games in there that are like known and famous and stuff. 00:19:14.342 --> 00:19:20.762 And then there's a lot of games in there that I had never heard of before that I don't know what they are, that I don't know how to go through them. 00:19:20.782 --> 00:19:22.842 And there's so, so many games. 00:19:23.322 --> 00:19:26.042 I just, I don't know, I don't know how to go through them. 00:19:26.302 --> 00:19:30.702 I don't know how to explore all of the games and figure out which ones I would enjoy. 00:19:31.142 --> 00:19:42.682 And so, Clair, can you just help me figure out how we're going to sort through this huge bundle of games to find the best games that we will like the most? 00:19:43.542 --> 00:19:45.222 I have some good news and bad news. 00:19:45.902 --> 00:19:53.622 The good news is that I already went through every game and sort of filtered out the ones that I wanted to play. 00:19:54.342 --> 00:19:57.622 The bad news is I did it when it was at about 700 games. 00:19:57.902 --> 00:20:02.262 Yeah, I was like, you went through all 1700? 00:20:02.382 --> 00:20:10.202 I did not realize they were adding to it, and I bought it and then spent, I think, eight hours sorting it. 00:20:10.542 --> 00:20:11.922 So that sucks. 00:20:12.282 --> 00:20:15.302 I've started sorting through the tabletop games specifically. 00:20:15.802 --> 00:20:26.222 I did find a site, I think it's called randomgamebundle.com, that it will give you a random game from the bundle, and you can set parameters. 00:20:26.242 --> 00:20:31.622 I've set for tabletop and physical games only, and there's 400 of those. 00:20:32.722 --> 00:20:37.822 There's literally an entire website dedicated to organizing that one bundle. 00:20:38.542 --> 00:20:39.942 It's not organizing. 00:20:40.122 --> 00:20:42.702 Let me send you the link, and you can see what I mean. 00:20:43.382 --> 00:20:50.942 It's basically giving you a random game from the bundle, and you can apply some filters to be like, I specifically want to look at a physical game. 00:20:51.502 --> 00:20:52.242 It's a lot to look through. 00:20:52.262 --> 00:21:13.442 This is great, because my biggest thing with itch.io is that they don't have a filter option on games you've bought, which was just going to be another one of my solutions of like, we just need to tell itch.io to build a dang filter into their bundle, even just like a search bar to search the games you've bought. 00:21:14.202 --> 00:21:16.342 I should say itch.io is a wonderful website. 00:21:16.362 --> 00:21:31.522 The other really shitty thing about itch.io is if you've bought a game and you go to the game's page, you cannot download the game from the page or access the download page from that page. 00:21:32.122 --> 00:21:34.982 It's a great website in terms of its point. 00:21:35.002 --> 00:21:36.642 They are clearly working on it. 00:21:37.862 --> 00:21:43.962 Yeah, like I've heard talk that they're working on it, they're trying to make it better because they were like super not prepared for this thing. 00:21:44.542 --> 00:21:46.102 That they decided to do. 00:21:46.122 --> 00:21:54.202 Understandably, like who is like, oh yeah, our website, we're going to have a bundle with 1700 games in it, right? 00:21:54.222 --> 00:22:03.542 Like as a developer, I can already see that assumption where it's like, oh, you know, a bundle will have 50 games in it. 00:22:03.582 --> 00:22:06.602 I think that's a pretty reasonable assumption as an upper bound. 00:22:06.782 --> 00:22:07.862 And then this happens. 00:22:08.362 --> 00:22:13.742 So maybe Brianna, we need to just spend three hours on this website. 00:22:15.622 --> 00:22:19.182 You've sent me or I can send you my collection that I put together. 00:22:19.362 --> 00:22:25.702 And that gives us I think I had about 30 games that that would be good to just play. 00:22:26.042 --> 00:22:29.062 And alternatively, you could just play Celeste forever. 00:22:29.082 --> 00:22:30.322 I mean, I could. 00:22:30.402 --> 00:22:35.182 And listen, I would play that game forever, but I've played on Switch where it has controller. 00:22:35.662 --> 00:22:37.602 I mean, I guess I could hook up a controller. 00:22:37.942 --> 00:22:38.642 Here's the thing. 00:22:39.202 --> 00:22:49.822 What if the perfect game for me exists in this bundle and I own it and I miss it because I'm trying to go through all these games and there's so many of them, right? 00:22:49.822 --> 00:22:52.382 What if I missed finding the perfect game for me? 00:22:52.702 --> 00:23:02.162 If I didn't already know the She-Ra tabletop game for the honor is in there, I could have missed that and that would have been a goddamn shame, you know? 00:23:02.482 --> 00:23:07.202 I don't think you would be the person you are today if you missed the For Your Honor game. 00:23:07.862 --> 00:23:09.002 Yeah, absolutely. 00:23:09.022 --> 00:23:09.442 You're right. 00:23:09.462 --> 00:23:31.902 But what I will say is if you want to be 100% certain, there is an assumption in computer science when you're iterating over a list that no matter where you are in that list, you cannot make an assumption that a condition has been met so far unless you know something about every item in that list, which means you have to play every game. 00:23:33.342 --> 00:23:40.882 OK, so how do I get enough time in terms of just my life to play all of these games? 00:23:41.262 --> 00:23:41.842 Let's see. 00:23:41.882 --> 00:23:47.642 Let's assume an upper bound of every single game is a game that you need to play. 00:23:47.662 --> 00:23:54.742 So 1700, we've already got an upper bound, and you spend one hour per game seeing if you like it or not, right? 00:23:54.762 --> 00:23:58.622 Because if it's the perfect game for you, you're going to like it within an hour. 00:23:58.642 --> 00:24:00.302 That has to be the thing. 00:24:00.602 --> 00:24:03.082 In fact, we could even lower that to 30 minutes. 00:24:03.422 --> 00:24:06.022 Generously, hey, we're going to upper bound, let's do an hour. 00:24:06.242 --> 00:24:08.442 So we're at 1700 hours so far. 00:24:08.782 --> 00:24:12.542 If you just dedicate like half a month, I think you're good. 00:24:12.562 --> 00:24:16.222 First of all, just going to quickly calculate how many... 00:24:17.942 --> 00:24:18.922 It's 70 days. 00:24:19.242 --> 00:24:20.782 It's 70 and a bit days. 00:24:21.322 --> 00:24:22.202 So my... 00:24:22.222 --> 00:24:23.302 So two and a half months. 00:24:23.462 --> 00:24:25.522 Yeah, you know, hey, it's not your whole life. 00:24:25.522 --> 00:24:26.882 It's just two and a half months. 00:24:27.182 --> 00:24:30.282 Like, what else are you going to do for two and a half months? 00:24:30.642 --> 00:24:33.582 I guess my other question here, and we'll get to what else I would be doing. 00:24:33.602 --> 00:24:34.582 And this is an upper bound. 00:24:34.902 --> 00:24:36.342 I just want to remind you. 00:24:37.022 --> 00:24:42.402 But I guess my question here, did you calculate that by assuming that I will be playing games all 24 hours a day? 00:24:42.842 --> 00:24:43.722 Yeah, of course. 00:24:43.742 --> 00:24:48.342 Okay, let's do something more realistic and assume that I need to sleep. 00:24:48.722 --> 00:24:54.762 So it's 1700 by 16 because we got to get you that good eight hours of sleep. 00:24:55.002 --> 00:24:57.042 106 days and then some. 00:24:57.142 --> 00:24:58.282 I'm just using integers. 00:24:58.302 --> 00:25:00.122 I don't give a shit about your ground down. 00:25:00.142 --> 00:25:05.102 So 106 days and that's like every hour of the day I'm playing games. 00:25:05.142 --> 00:25:06.082 I'm not eating. 00:25:06.102 --> 00:25:07.702 I'm only sleeping. 00:25:07.722 --> 00:25:08.142 That's it. 00:25:08.142 --> 00:25:08.962 That's all I do. 00:25:10.282 --> 00:25:13.302 So now here's my concern. 00:25:14.662 --> 00:25:16.202 I don't know if you've noticed. 00:25:16.342 --> 00:25:19.862 Now I've noticed a little something. 00:25:20.202 --> 00:25:38.542 That little something is there's a lot happening in the world right now, and I would die if I were to not be able to work on stuff to help with that and do my part to contribute to generally the things that are going on. 00:25:38.762 --> 00:25:44.902 So just kind of going AWOL for three and a half months feels irresponsible. 00:25:46.982 --> 00:25:51.222 And it would drive me mad to not kind of know and contribute to what's going on. 00:25:51.962 --> 00:26:00.182 So what I'm hearing is you care more about everyday life than finding the perfect game, Brianna. 00:26:00.242 --> 00:26:02.762 I don't know if you're really committed to this task. 00:26:03.642 --> 00:26:04.702 Something tells me. 00:26:04.722 --> 00:26:20.282 I mean, the way that I started out this craving was by saying I wanted a way to find a perfect game, not that I wanted to spend all this time, because I didn't need to come to you to be like, oh, yeah, I could just play every game for an hour. 00:26:20.742 --> 00:26:26.162 What I need is the super simple way for something else to go through all the games for me. 00:26:27.682 --> 00:26:30.622 You need to hire a game assistant. 00:26:30.942 --> 00:26:33.422 You need to get a professional gamer to work for you. 00:26:33.442 --> 00:26:35.942 Oh, my God. 00:26:35.962 --> 00:26:36.782 Yes, absolutely. 00:26:37.062 --> 00:26:46.002 So they have to be someone who has experience with both video games and tabletop games and knows in depth my taste and what I will enjoy. 00:26:48.242 --> 00:26:52.702 So with that in mind, you're going to clone yourself. 00:26:53.682 --> 00:26:55.062 I'm going to clone myself. 00:26:55.142 --> 00:26:55.502 Yes. 00:26:55.642 --> 00:26:55.962