WEBVTT 00:00:25.750 --> 00:00:27.970 All right, let's do this thing. 00:00:27.990 --> 00:00:29.430 It's been a while. 00:00:29.850 --> 00:00:31.570 How do we do this again? 00:00:31.590 --> 00:00:35.150 It's names, my name's Clair Blotz. 00:00:35.830 --> 00:00:40.050 And my name's Bri-me-Bri-Bri-Bri-Bri-Bri-Bri-Bri-Bri-Bri. 00:00:41.370 --> 00:00:41.770 Anna. 00:00:42.950 --> 00:00:47.050 Just like Bri with the repeating sign for math over top of it. 00:00:47.510 --> 00:00:50.230 Instead of three repeating, it's pre-repeating, thank you. 00:00:54.510 --> 00:00:59.590 And we do Cravings and we're so good at this, this isn't a bit. 00:00:59.890 --> 00:01:01.690 Salt Cravings, that's what it's called. 00:01:02.150 --> 00:01:11.170 Oh boy, oh boy, did we, did one week where we did our not our usual thing just completely wipe your memory of how to do Salt Cravings? 00:01:11.410 --> 00:01:19.730 Yeah, I thought, see Brianna, I thought we were doing another RPG because I brought one today, it's called, We Share Four Cravings Back and Forth. 00:01:20.650 --> 00:01:22.070 I'll teach you the rules, don't worry. 00:01:22.250 --> 00:01:22.970 It's a. 00:01:24.010 --> 00:01:26.950 Every, truly anything can be an RPG. 00:01:27.830 --> 00:01:32.110 Turns out the Salt Cravings RPG all along was just recording Salt Cravings. 00:01:32.730 --> 00:01:35.250 Yeah, that sounds like an RPG to me. 00:01:35.410 --> 00:01:37.530 What if I write out a Salt Cravings RPG? 00:01:37.670 --> 00:01:38.010 Anyway. 00:01:38.030 --> 00:01:47.770 You don't even have to like record it, just walk up to anyone you know in your life and just be like, you know what I'm craving and then tell them and then just like come up with the wildest solution. 00:01:47.790 --> 00:01:49.010 I'm craving pizza. 00:01:49.630 --> 00:01:51.110 Have you tried robbing a bank? 00:01:51.710 --> 00:01:54.150 And that's RPGs, baby. 00:01:54.550 --> 00:01:55.470 No dice. 00:01:55.870 --> 00:01:56.690 Fuck your dice. 00:01:57.570 --> 00:01:59.470 So no dice to start us off. 00:01:59.490 --> 00:02:01.610 Do you wanna roll the first craving? 00:02:02.330 --> 00:02:05.410 What if I rolled dice to decide which of my cravings I'm gonna do first? 00:02:07.510 --> 00:02:08.930 Ivy, you could do that, yeah. 00:02:09.850 --> 00:02:11.350 I'm gonna flip a coin, actually. 00:02:11.370 --> 00:02:12.510 This is a coin RPG. 00:02:12.770 --> 00:02:13.530 Roll for craving. 00:02:13.550 --> 00:02:15.570 All right, heads, heads and tails. 00:02:15.590 --> 00:02:16.870 It's just a two-sided rock dice. 00:02:17.630 --> 00:02:19.070 Okay, that's okay. 00:02:19.070 --> 00:02:19.990 All right, here we go. 00:02:20.010 --> 00:02:23.030 I got heads, which means we are starting off with... 00:02:25.430 --> 00:02:25.670 Ah. 00:02:29.470 --> 00:02:31.810 It's because lightsabers take heads off. 00:02:32.510 --> 00:02:34.010 Yep, that's definitely it. 00:02:36.210 --> 00:02:39.150 Welcome to Star Wars time. 00:02:39.170 --> 00:02:41.510 Um, I, hey, hello, everyone. 00:02:41.910 --> 00:02:42.570 Hello there. 00:02:43.770 --> 00:02:45.690 Welcome back to the Star Cravings. 00:02:46.410 --> 00:02:48.090 Star Cravings, welcome to Star Cravings. 00:02:48.110 --> 00:02:51.230 I know I've done various Star Wars ones before. 00:02:51.250 --> 00:02:52.270 Mm-hmm. 00:02:52.710 --> 00:02:55.770 This one is about how Jar Jar Binks needs his own spinoff. 00:02:56.410 --> 00:03:01.790 It is actually not about that at all, but it is about a spinoff involving Jar Jar Binks. 00:03:02.750 --> 00:03:02.970 Oh no. 00:03:02.990 --> 00:03:08.670 It is about Star Wars, the Clone Wars, the TV show, it's so good. 00:03:08.830 --> 00:03:10.090 Is he in there? 00:03:10.770 --> 00:03:12.610 There are certain episodes where Jar Jar is in it. 00:03:12.630 --> 00:03:13.810 It's like a Jar Jar episode. 00:03:13.830 --> 00:03:18.970 Everyone hates on him and he fucks everything up and it's not a fun episode to watch. 00:03:18.990 --> 00:03:21.990 And then he's done and then they move on. 00:03:22.390 --> 00:03:26.090 Other than that, let me talk a little bit about Star Wars, the Clone Wars. 00:03:26.450 --> 00:03:31.670 So I had not actually, I'd seen the movie that the series kind of is based on, right? 00:03:31.690 --> 00:03:36.010 There's a Clone Wars movie specifically, and then the series kind of follows from that. 00:03:36.410 --> 00:03:38.230 Here's some things about Star Wars, the Clone Wars. 00:03:38.690 --> 00:03:51.150 It follows, you know, Anakin and Obi-Wan and also Anakin's padawan, Ahsoka Tano, who's a 14 year old alien padawan who's in this war now. 00:03:51.450 --> 00:03:52.490 Yay, woohoo. 00:03:53.070 --> 00:03:58.230 And sometimes it talks about other characters and it's all not in order. 00:03:58.670 --> 00:04:07.370 There's like a chronological, like, canon watch order in certain groups of episodes will be together, but like the canonical watch order is ridiculous. 00:04:07.390 --> 00:04:20.070 It's like, oh yeah, start out with these two episodes from season three, then start out with season one, then at this point watch a series of episodes from season two and then don't watch the end of season one until halfway through season three. 00:04:20.310 --> 00:04:25.530 And it's just, that is what it is, which I love and hate deeply. 00:04:25.910 --> 00:04:29.790 It gets a little bit more chronological as time goes on and Disney kind of gets their hands on it. 00:04:30.070 --> 00:04:37.550 And George Lucas gets less involved, but Clone Wars is I think the best that I've seen Star Wars be in recent memory. 00:04:37.570 --> 00:04:44.330 I think my two favorite, I think pieces of Star Wars media recently have been Clone Wars and Rogue One. 00:04:44.930 --> 00:04:46.130 And that's not an accident. 00:04:46.150 --> 00:04:56.530 That is because both of them are interested in taking at the very least small deviations from typical Star Wars storytelling. 00:04:56.950 --> 00:05:02.970 At the very least there are moments in which you kind of think about like, hey, what are the Jedi doing? 00:05:03.610 --> 00:05:05.930 Hey, this is kind of messed up. 00:05:06.390 --> 00:05:11.270 And there are moments where you're like, oh, right, the Republic is going to become the Empire. 00:05:11.850 --> 00:05:14.950 And also moments where you're like, oh, right, clones are people, huh? 00:05:15.150 --> 00:05:17.150 This is like, this is complicated. 00:05:17.150 --> 00:05:18.570 And sometimes it doesn't do that. 00:05:18.590 --> 00:05:20.470 And a lot of times, in fact, it doesn't do that. 00:05:20.830 --> 00:05:24.530 But it does it more than anything in the traditional Star Wars canon. 00:05:24.990 --> 00:05:34.550 And at the very least kind of indicates in the direction of criticisms of the kind of main line trilogy and allows itself to step outside of that. 00:05:34.750 --> 00:05:57.970 There's many things that I think about the Clone Wars, but the crux of it is I want more Star Wars media to be able to criticize Star Wars, to like, complicated, at the very least, to question it, to like kind of mess with stuff and be like, hey, what if the Jedi, hmm, what if the Jedi are kind of bad? 00:05:59.030 --> 00:06:17.370 My craving is for the Clone Wars to be able to do more because I don't think it is able to, you know, get to the level it needs to be at to talk about questions of like Clone personhood or Droid personhood, or like what war means and is actually like. 00:06:17.930 --> 00:06:29.770 But it does also definitely make me be like, what if I just ran a Beam Saber campaign that was just like about this war and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 00:06:30.090 --> 00:06:30.650 But I don't know. 00:06:30.670 --> 00:06:34.030 Yeah, in general, Clone Wars has got me very excited. 00:06:34.490 --> 00:06:47.650 I want more stuff that does this, specifically Star Wars, but in general, I want more stuff to be able to kind of complicate its own universe or its own understandings of morality. 00:06:49.450 --> 00:06:51.090 So we're going to make Star Bores. 00:06:54.990 --> 00:06:56.590 Okay, tell me about Star Bores. 00:06:57.170 --> 00:07:00.290 I mean, have you ever seen The Gay and Wondrous Life of Caleb Gallo? 00:07:00.930 --> 00:07:04.210 I have a while ago and I don't remember much from it. 00:07:05.950 --> 00:07:06.730 That's fine. 00:07:06.750 --> 00:07:08.890 They pitched Star Bores. 00:07:08.910 --> 00:07:12.790 It was a rousing success, I'm sure. 00:07:12.810 --> 00:07:16.710 And now we're going to produce it for them. 00:07:16.730 --> 00:07:17.890 There's a lot more pigs. 00:07:18.590 --> 00:07:28.430 Right, and it's going to do all the stuff that I just talked about, about wanting it to kind of complicate notions of what's good and bad in the Star Wars universe and what war is like. 00:07:28.810 --> 00:07:32.550 You know what the easiest way to talk about hard topics is? 00:07:33.070 --> 00:07:34.550 With funny images. 00:07:34.630 --> 00:07:46.190 So if we just make everybody into big giant boar pigs, then we can talk about death and mutilation and war and bodies in a very fun and child-friendly way. 00:07:46.310 --> 00:07:53.230 Maybe that clone is Thanksgiving dinner for the themed episode, but we won't think about that until 10 minutes in. 00:07:53.250 --> 00:07:56.410 And then everyone has a crisis at the Thanksgiving dinner table. 00:07:57.030 --> 00:07:57.950 I hate that. 00:07:58.230 --> 00:08:05.570 I also am just remembering, I was like, isn't there a pig alien in, like a boar type alien in Star Wars? 00:08:05.590 --> 00:08:06.830 And there super is. 00:08:07.150 --> 00:08:09.310 That's the only one that isn't a boar. 00:08:10.810 --> 00:08:11.650 Gamorians? 00:08:12.550 --> 00:08:21.630 They're the guys who Jabba has guarding his castle and then Luke comes in and is like, I'm gonna choke y'all. 00:08:21.630 --> 00:08:22.290 Boom. 00:08:22.830 --> 00:08:26.470 Cause Luke is at his most dark side at that point. 00:08:26.490 --> 00:08:28.970 Anyway, here's what they look like. 00:08:29.230 --> 00:08:31.550 I just posted that in the Discord chat. 00:08:31.570 --> 00:08:32.650 That's more orc than boar. 00:08:34.110 --> 00:08:38.330 That's like if you hinted at boar with orc. 00:08:39.050 --> 00:08:40.550 Yeah, that sounds about right. 00:08:40.770 --> 00:08:42.970 It's a bork. 00:08:43.650 --> 00:08:44.090 Bork. 00:08:44.630 --> 00:08:45.430 Bork wars. 00:08:45.770 --> 00:08:46.590 Bork bork. 00:08:47.630 --> 00:08:49.110 Get ready for bork bores. 00:08:49.650 --> 00:08:51.170 Bork bores of Star Wars. 00:08:51.190 --> 00:08:52.730 What the fuck are we talking about? 00:08:54.370 --> 00:08:56.790 So we're doing Star Bores, eh? 00:08:57.270 --> 00:09:00.110 You could just critically talk about Star Wars for 30 minutes. 00:09:00.350 --> 00:09:02.570 I can go grab a beer, you know, sit down on the deck. 00:09:03.750 --> 00:09:07.850 I don't know anything about Star Wars other than the last one was bad. 00:09:07.990 --> 00:09:08.850 I never saw it. 00:09:09.370 --> 00:09:10.810 Actually, the last two were bad. 00:09:10.830 --> 00:09:12.310 The last three, I don't remember. 00:09:12.330 --> 00:09:14.310 Maybe the last nine movies were bad. 00:09:15.710 --> 00:09:17.990 On one level, all of Star Wars is bad. 00:09:17.990 --> 00:09:21.830 On another level, I think most of the movies are pretty good. 00:09:22.190 --> 00:09:23.910 But like, it's complicated. 00:09:23.930 --> 00:09:24.810 Depends what you're there for. 00:09:24.830 --> 00:09:25.270 Blah, blah, blah. 00:09:25.670 --> 00:09:32.490 Last Jedi gets the closest to what I want, but just like can't deliver at all, which makes me sad. 00:09:32.510 --> 00:09:34.590 Anyway, I could just go off. 00:09:34.970 --> 00:09:35.650 Have you seen? 00:09:35.830 --> 00:09:37.430 Which of the Star Wars movies have you seen? 00:09:38.210 --> 00:09:41.810 All of them except Solo and the Chapter Nine. 00:09:42.330 --> 00:09:43.550 That's the same as me. 00:09:44.030 --> 00:09:46.150 We have the same knowledge of basic Star Wars. 00:09:46.390 --> 00:09:52.330 It's just I've also read a book or two from the old canon, and I've been watching Crown Wars. 00:09:54.270 --> 00:09:56.250 The Darth Bane series when I was like a teenager. 00:09:56.770 --> 00:09:57.530 That was about it. 00:09:57.550 --> 00:10:00.690 That's about my extent of knowledge of Star Wars. 00:10:00.710 --> 00:10:02.530 He becomes like a beetle person. 00:10:02.550 --> 00:10:03.430 It's cool as shit. 00:10:03.750 --> 00:10:07.650 I'm pretty sure it does not hold up 10 years later in terms of politics. 00:10:07.850 --> 00:10:12.270 But it also was him being just a giant asshole because he's evil the whole time. 00:10:12.290 --> 00:10:12.950 So who knows? 00:10:13.310 --> 00:10:14.890 It's probably just a power fantasy. 00:10:15.210 --> 00:10:29.230 If I wanted to just do this whole critique, I would just talk about this one fan bite article by Gretchen Felker-Martin, which is Star Wars and the pitfalls of telling adult stories in a world built for children. 00:10:29.250 --> 00:10:30.050 I'll just link that. 00:10:30.070 --> 00:10:35.430 If y'all want to hear my thoughts on Star Wars in depth, that's pretty close to what I feel. 00:10:35.450 --> 00:10:41.330 It talks about Kodor II and The Last Jedi, and I think The Clone Wars is in a similar place as those. 00:10:41.630 --> 00:10:48.530 But really, I guess, like, I do think about the potential of like, I don't know, I think about the potential of a lot of things. 00:10:49.810 --> 00:10:52.470 I think about the potential of myself and how I'm wasting it. 00:10:52.770 --> 00:10:55.370 But anyway, they should let me write Star Wars. 00:10:55.390 --> 00:10:56.990 That's really what I'm saying here. 00:10:57.170 --> 00:11:00.310 They're letting Austin Walker do a short story, they should let me do one next. 00:11:02.270 --> 00:11:03.450 That's the line up, right? 00:11:03.470 --> 00:11:06.190 It's Austin Walker, then immediately after you're there. 00:11:06.210 --> 00:11:08.490 I can write, sure. 00:11:09.570 --> 00:11:11.730 Yeah, I didn't really have a pre-planned one. 00:11:11.750 --> 00:11:13.310 You just wanted to talk about Star Wars. 00:11:14.430 --> 00:11:14.750 I get it. 00:11:14.770 --> 00:11:19.290 I wanted to specifically talk about the Clone Wars, also about clones in general. 00:11:19.330 --> 00:11:21.850 Okay, would you eat your own clone? 00:11:21.910 --> 00:11:23.610 That's how the question goes, right? 00:11:24.430 --> 00:11:28.010 No, I'm pretty sure that's not quite the question, but let's not get into it. 00:11:30.130 --> 00:11:32.570 Is it cannibalism if you eat your clone? 00:11:36.050 --> 00:11:37.350 Um, yes. 00:11:38.070 --> 00:11:38.490 Yes. 00:11:40.430 --> 00:11:41.510 Why would it not be? 00:11:41.530 --> 00:11:46.590 Just love to mash up two random discourse. 00:11:47.250 --> 00:11:57.530 This is the new version of the discourse, a long lost podcast, except now we take two different discourse and we mash them up into terrible discourse. 00:11:57.550 --> 00:11:58.470 Oh, the discourse too. 00:11:58.490 --> 00:12:00.430 Two discourses. 00:12:01.170 --> 00:12:09.130 The thing specifically with Star Wars clones that I think is really interesting is, they have like inbred loyalty, like they are bred to be soldiers, and some of them still desert. 00:12:09.450 --> 00:12:12.050 There's so much bread and desert in this show. 00:12:12.530 --> 00:12:15.530 There's so much bread and desert, alien bread and desert. 00:12:15.690 --> 00:12:26.410 And I just like, what if sci-fi treated things like clones and robots and such as they deserve to be treated, you know? 00:12:26.570 --> 00:12:27.710 What does that mean? 00:12:28.170 --> 00:12:43.190 What it means is telling stories from their perspectives is honestly what it means, is like recognizing that they're people, because Star Wars is unclear on whether clones are people and it's very unclear on whether droids are people. 00:12:43.570 --> 00:12:49.950 It gets weird and bad very quickly when you start thinking about the fact that droids have personalities. 00:12:49.970 --> 00:13:05.290 Well, I can't speak to Star Wars, but in terms of sci-fi at large and robots and whatnot, as far as telling stories from their perspective, for a human, I've thought about this too much, for a human audience, you have to humanize them. 00:13:05.310 --> 00:13:13.650 And you've already lumped your story into a robots are people perspective if you write from the perspective of a robot. 00:13:14.210 --> 00:13:26.730 What I am often interested in is understanding that robots are not people, the understanding that they are different and that we won't be able to ever understand how they think. 00:13:27.110 --> 00:13:34.310 Even if you can communicate with a robot, and maybe this is going too far into theory, you can't understand a robot. 00:13:35.370 --> 00:13:43.990 And a robot will be built to try and understand humans, and it will appear like it does, even though it doesn't. 00:13:44.010 --> 00:13:52.630 And we have a lot of machines that already do that, which appear like they can understand you speak, but that's not what they are doing at all, even remotely. 00:13:52.990 --> 00:13:54.750 Here's the thing with droids in Star Wars. 00:13:55.350 --> 00:14:05.650 A droid is enough of a person to have a personality, to make their own decisions and choices when they are given the option to. 00:14:06.130 --> 00:14:09.970 They are enough of a person to serve in war. 00:14:10.110 --> 00:14:17.010 They are enough of a person to do tasks for people and to be considered characters. 00:14:17.550 --> 00:14:24.090 But they're also not viewed at all as living beings. 00:14:24.210 --> 00:14:26.030 So the Jedi will kill them indiscriminately. 00:14:26.590 --> 00:14:30.030 They don't consider them people and therefore don't hesitate to kill them. 00:14:30.490 --> 00:14:37.870 Anakin considers R2-D2 very important and close to him because he has attachments to things that he shouldn't. 00:14:38.090 --> 00:14:44.290 Whereas the rest of the Jedi are like, hey, just get rid of your droid and get a new one if it breaks or is lost. 00:14:44.770 --> 00:14:51.910 And so it puts them in this weird dehumanized position where it's not just that it dehumanizes, it also devalues them. 00:14:52.430 --> 00:14:55.650 It doesn't consider them, you know, to be the same. 00:14:55.810 --> 00:15:01.670 And, or not even just the same, it doesn't consider them to be worthy of any respect. 00:15:02.170 --> 00:15:03.670 It does something similar to clones. 00:15:04.190 --> 00:15:10.830 Clones are generally considered smarter and better at their jobs than robots, because they're people and can think on the fly. 00:15:10.950 --> 00:15:20.890 But they also have like, in terms of genetically bred loyalty, they have genetically bred like, service and willingness to die for the cause. 00:15:21.390 --> 00:15:24.310 They will like, do anything for the Republic in like a snap. 00:15:24.770 --> 00:15:29.390 And also they live half as long lives, and that's to make them grow up faster. 00:15:29.810 --> 00:15:37.630 So like, that's the thing about Star Wars that to me makes it a very complicated space to play in. 00:15:38.010 --> 00:15:43.270 And the things that I'm saying here are to me interesting if you give yourself the chance to explore them. 00:15:43.430 --> 00:15:53.190 But Star Wars doesn't, because it needs bad guys for the good guys to kill, and it needs sacrifices, but it can't kill its main characters because they're in the next movie. 00:15:53.850 --> 00:15:56.590 You see what I'm saying about where it gets messy? 00:15:57.030 --> 00:16:00.090 Well, I look forward to your Star Wars fan fiction you need to write. 00:16:00.190 --> 00:16:00.910 Apparently. 00:16:00.930 --> 00:16:02.970 Let's talk about Star Wars. 00:16:03.570 --> 00:16:05.210 Star Wars, they're pigs. 00:16:05.630 --> 00:16:06.250 It's funny. 00:16:06.590 --> 00:16:14.510 Yeah, so in Star Wars, all the machines are actually our machines, except we're going to tackle that much more critically than Star Wars even. 00:16:15.670 --> 00:16:16.710 Wow, that's amazing. 00:16:18.950 --> 00:16:19.790 We did a great job. 00:16:20.350 --> 00:16:22.610 Robo pig love you. 00:16:23.690 --> 00:16:24.890 Robo pig love you. 00:16:25.730 --> 00:16:27.070 But do they really? 00:16:27.090 --> 00:16:28.830 Because do they have the choice to love you or not? 00:16:29.190 --> 00:16:30.010 But do they really? 00:16:34.330 --> 00:16:37.470 Anyway, thank you for letting me go off about Clone Wars for a bit. 00:16:38.610 --> 00:16:42.450 One of the things about quarantine is that I don't have the ability to go off as much. 00:16:42.970 --> 00:16:45.330 So it's nice to have outlets, you know? 00:16:45.550 --> 00:16:47.670 You just need to get off with everyone around. 00:16:47.690 --> 00:16:48.730 Hmm... 00:16:49.310 --> 00:16:49.970 Hmm... 00:16:50.630 --> 00:16:51.150 Hmm... 00:16:51.370 --> 00:16:52.670 No, no, I don't think... 00:16:54.050 --> 00:16:56.470 Now, Clair, roll Craving. 00:16:56.970 --> 00:16:58.330 Oh, would you look at that? 00:16:58.450 --> 00:17:01.270 I rolled my first Craving, so I'm gonna do that one. 00:17:02.390 --> 00:17:03.070 Which is... 00:17:03.330 --> 00:17:12.570 It's real hot out, and I really, really want one of those magnetic fans that are very quiet and are also very expensive. 00:17:13.370 --> 00:17:16.310 So I want an affordable magnetic fan. 00:17:16.950 --> 00:17:21.070 And I'm just thinking, Brianna, how could we put this together? 00:17:21.090 --> 00:17:22.430 I don't know if you've ever seen these. 00:17:22.450 --> 00:17:24.850 They're like Dyson fans, they're just rings. 00:17:25.150 --> 00:17:26.890 They're completely silent. 00:17:27.510 --> 00:17:28.570 I'm gonna send you one. 00:17:29.050 --> 00:17:32.490 Yeah, please do send me one, because I need to know kind of how to replicate this. 00:17:32.810 --> 00:17:36.110 I have some ideas kind of immediately off the bat. 00:17:36.850 --> 00:17:39.870 The question becomes, like, how does Dyson get it to be super... 00:17:39.870 --> 00:17:40.750 Okay, let's look at this. 00:17:41.050 --> 00:17:41.670 Magnets. 00:17:42.290 --> 00:17:43.550 Just fucking magnets. 00:17:43.970 --> 00:17:45.250 I think we could just... 00:17:45.690 --> 00:17:47.530 What if we just made magic fans? 00:17:48.650 --> 00:17:49.650 What power is it? 00:17:50.190 --> 00:17:52.490 The magic of the world around us. 00:17:53.310 --> 00:17:54.810 Oh, okay. 00:17:54.830 --> 00:17:56.070 Is it like Tinkerbell? 00:17:56.090 --> 00:18:00.190 We just have to believe in being cool enough and we will achieve it? 00:18:00.530 --> 00:18:03.750 No, it's a fan that's powered by magical energy. 00:18:03.750 --> 00:18:05.410 We all have magical energy. 00:18:06.030 --> 00:18:07.210 It's called the Force. 00:18:09.410 --> 00:18:14.710 I can't believe we're still talking about Star Wars. 00:18:14.730 --> 00:18:15.390 No, it's not. 00:18:15.410 --> 00:18:18.210 It's D&D magic. 00:18:18.310 --> 00:18:18.990 Is that better? 00:18:19.010 --> 00:18:19.930 Do you like that better? 00:18:21.010 --> 00:18:22.130 Do you prefer D&D? 00:18:22.150 --> 00:18:24.450 Would you rather talk about Star Wars or D&D? 00:18:24.790 --> 00:18:27.550 Hey, Clair, would you rather talk about Star Wars or D&D? 00:18:27.730 --> 00:18:31.510 So I'm coming out with this new Star Wars expansion, fifth edition. 00:18:31.550 --> 00:18:32.530 It's going to be great. 00:18:33.710 --> 00:18:34.170 Clair? 00:18:34.390 --> 00:18:35.210 That's a thing, I know. 00:18:35.730 --> 00:18:38.070 There's a Star Wars made by... 00:18:38.530 --> 00:18:39.350 Anyway, it's fine. 00:18:39.650 --> 00:18:41.650 Fine, I guess we can't use magic. 00:18:41.910 --> 00:18:45.530 We can, I just want you to lay out the groundwork. 00:18:45.630 --> 00:18:48.570 If you're like magic, you gotta explain how it works. 00:18:48.990 --> 00:18:55.650 You simply cast spells through the use of specific magical words and a wand. 00:18:56.090 --> 00:18:59.870 So do I whisper this to the air and it forms? 00:18:59.890 --> 00:19:02.910 Does it take a physical form or is it just wind blowing around me? 00:19:02.930 --> 00:19:05.590 I guess it would be like a charmed object, right? 00:19:05.610 --> 00:19:10.890 It would be like an object that has like this charm applied to it that it creates cold air. 00:19:10.910 --> 00:19:14.810 So I just need to like charm my computer. 00:19:14.830 --> 00:19:17.430 So it expels cold air instead of warm air. 00:19:17.450 --> 00:19:19.590 And then I just like turn out. 00:19:19.610 --> 00:19:21.630 Yeah, it would go really well for your computer. 00:19:23.550 --> 00:19:26.690 My thing here is you just would have to be careful, right? 00:19:26.710 --> 00:19:30.250 You don't want to necessarily do it because it's easy for a spell to go wrong, right? 00:19:30.470 --> 00:19:33.430 You could accidentally misspeak or have the wrong tone. 00:19:33.770 --> 00:19:37.830 And instead of cool air, you get frigid freezing frosty air. 00:19:38.390 --> 00:19:39.890 This sounds very finicky. 00:19:40.390 --> 00:19:46.250 Yeah, that's the problem with magic is you could mess it up and cause major catastrophe. 00:19:46.270 --> 00:19:48.530 That's why most people aren't allowed to know about it. 00:19:48.770 --> 00:19:52.970 But I trust the listeners of Salt Cravings to use magic. 00:19:52.970 --> 00:19:54.550 Remember when those girls hexed the moon? 00:19:54.910 --> 00:19:56.770 That's not going to be Salt Cravings listeners. 00:19:58.510 --> 00:20:00.150 I do actually know about that. 00:20:00.230 --> 00:20:04.030 I know too much about witch talk as it's called. 00:20:04.470 --> 00:20:08.750 I started watching TikTok videos and it decided I'm in witch talk now. 00:20:08.770 --> 00:20:12.590 I don't really have any interest, but it put me there. 00:20:12.610 --> 00:20:13.350 Anyway, continue. 00:20:14.050 --> 00:20:17.310 The sorting hat of TikTok has assigned you witch. 00:20:18.170 --> 00:20:20.810 What are the other sorting houses of TikTok? 00:20:21.010 --> 00:20:22.110 There's so many. 00:20:22.210 --> 00:20:24.530 You would not believe the sorting houses there are. 00:20:24.810 --> 00:20:29.270 Because related to witch TikTok, I guess it's probably the same thing as cottagecore. 00:20:29.510 --> 00:20:31.670 This is all, to be clear, gay TikTok. 00:20:31.690 --> 00:20:34.590 Then there's straight TikTok, which thankfully I've not been pushed into. 00:20:35.150 --> 00:20:39.850 But it just recommends you stuff based on what it decides you want. 00:20:40.210 --> 00:20:40.910 And you know what? 00:20:40.950 --> 00:20:48.050 It's making me feel more confident about lack of ability to certain AI. 00:20:48.070 --> 00:20:49.090 Summon freezing air. 00:20:49.650 --> 00:20:51.630 Yes, that's what I was talking about. 00:20:53.870 --> 00:20:58.830 Do you have any ideas of how we could make a fan if we don't want to go the magic route? 00:20:59.190 --> 00:21:01.470 What if we glue a bunch of magnets together? 00:21:01.690 --> 00:21:03.450 That's like cheaper probably. 00:21:03.470 --> 00:21:06.050 And we just spin them around real fast. 00:21:06.590 --> 00:21:08.050 It's like a pulley system. 00:21:08.070 --> 00:21:11.070 You just sort of yank on a string over and over. 00:21:11.090 --> 00:21:12.370 You see what I'm doing, Brianna? 00:21:12.650 --> 00:21:14.910 You just sort of yank on a screen over and over. 00:21:15.350 --> 00:21:17.730 Yanking, yanking, yanking on that string. 00:21:18.150 --> 00:21:21.850 And that is powering the wind maker. 00:21:21.870 --> 00:21:22.550 The cold air. 00:21:22.870 --> 00:21:24.130 The wind maker cold air. 00:21:24.770 --> 00:21:26.290 I love the WMCA. 00:21:26.650 --> 00:21:29.750 Yeah, the WMCA, the wind maker cold fan. 00:21:29.770 --> 00:21:32.630 Only by Salt Cravings Inc. 00:21:33.150 --> 00:21:38.230 What if we took like a space heater and then we turned it upside down? 00:21:38.230 --> 00:21:43.390 So like, you know, you turn the temperature to 30, but if you put it upside down, it's minus 30. 00:21:43.650 --> 00:21:44.410 That's smart. 00:21:44.750 --> 00:21:46.590 That's a good idea to do that. 00:21:47.170 --> 00:21:50.130 Yeah, that seems cheap and easy and workable. 00:21:50.150 --> 00:21:51.130 I mean, I've had a space here. 00:21:51.150 --> 00:21:52.510 I don't know why we didn't just do that. 00:21:53.110 --> 00:21:55.970 What if we did the same with like covers, right? 00:21:55.990 --> 00:22:02.970 Like we just turned covers or blankets inside out and then they produce cold, you know? 00:22:02.990 --> 00:22:07.290 Oh, it's like how the other side of the pillow is always cold. 00:22:07.310 --> 00:22:12.490 We just get a machine that extracts the cold from the side of the pillow, and then we turn it over again and it's cold again. 00:22:12.510 --> 00:22:13.770 Now that's magic. 00:22:14.090 --> 00:22:16.050 But what if we just like store the cold? 00:22:16.070 --> 00:22:20.450 What if, hey, what if we make a box and we just make it extract cold? 00:22:20.470 --> 00:22:22.730 Okay, and then we could like put food in it. 00:22:22.890 --> 00:22:25.570 Well, no, I wanna blow myself with this cold. 00:22:25.910 --> 00:22:29.710 Like, I don't wanna waste my cold box on food. 00:22:29.730 --> 00:22:31.010 That would be a dumb idea. 00:22:31.030 --> 00:22:32.750 It would be a dumb idea. 00:22:33.110 --> 00:22:37.170 Now, have we considered ice monsters? 00:22:38.390 --> 00:22:39.110 Monsters? 00:22:39.750 --> 00:22:40.930 Yeah, you know ice monsters? 00:22:41.570 --> 00:22:42.490 Do they hug you? 00:22:42.990 --> 00:22:49.170 Yeah, you could like probably like set up some sort of service with them where they like blow some cold air at you. 00:22:49.730 --> 00:22:53.670 You know, so like Uber, but for cold air, Uber. 00:22:53.690 --> 00:22:55.410 Do we just not pay them? 00:22:55.430 --> 00:22:56.670 Is that how it's like Uber? 00:22:57.130 --> 00:22:57.970 We pay them. 00:22:58.130 --> 00:23:00.190 They're just ice contractors. 00:23:00.750 --> 00:23:08.690 We pay them the same as Uber pays their employees, which as we all know is an ethical and fair wage. 00:23:09.930 --> 00:23:13.250 And clearly that's the idea here that we've decided to do. 00:23:13.270 --> 00:23:15.230 Just good and healthy for... 00:23:15.250 --> 00:23:25.190 Brianna, if we do the same model, then when they eventually get employee status, then they're going to have to shut down just like Uber. 00:23:26.050 --> 00:23:27.070 And I need cold air. 00:23:27.210 --> 00:23:30.010 I need cold air real bad, Brianna. 00:23:30.010 --> 00:23:34.270 I can't take the risk of these monsters reunionizing or something. 00:23:34.290 --> 00:23:36.030 That would be unmanageable. 00:23:36.050 --> 00:23:37.250 That would be intolerable. 00:23:37.270 --> 00:23:41.990 We just have to spend a lot of money preventing them from unionizing and lobbying the government. 00:23:42.430 --> 00:23:43.270 We're going to... 00:23:43.290 --> 00:23:44.710 Yes, this is the plan. 00:23:44.970 --> 00:23:47.650 We're going to prevent the Frost Giants from unionizing. 00:23:47.670 --> 00:23:50.510 And that'll help with the heat. 00:23:50.770 --> 00:23:52.790 We're going to become Frost Union Busters. 00:23:52.810 --> 00:23:54.270 Who are you going to call? 00:23:54.550 --> 00:23:55.990 Frost Union Busters. 00:23:56.010 --> 00:23:59.950 Do you want to talk about Star Wars again? 00:24:00.150 --> 00:24:01.630 Or do you have something else? 00:24:02.210 --> 00:24:03.010 I don't have any... 00:24:03.950 --> 00:24:05.730 Listen, let me tell you something. 00:24:06.610 --> 00:24:08.290 My brain, no thoughts. 00:24:08.910 --> 00:24:09.730 Only Star Wars. 00:24:09.750 --> 00:24:10.970 You know what it does have though? 00:24:11.770 --> 00:24:12.490 Submission. 00:24:12.930 --> 00:24:14.670 It has a craving submission in it. 00:24:18.350 --> 00:24:19.250 Craving. 00:24:19.270 --> 00:24:20.430 It's a craving. 00:24:20.750 --> 00:24:21.670 Craving. 00:24:22.250 --> 00:24:23.510 Fan craving. 00:24:23.530 --> 00:24:24.890 It's a craving. 00:24:25.690 --> 00:24:27.050 Unprompted even. 00:24:27.570 --> 00:24:29.110 Listen, I know I get it. 00:24:29.190 --> 00:24:30.230 I understand my role. 00:24:31.810 --> 00:24:33.090 You know what everyone craves. 00:24:33.650 --> 00:24:34.650 I know what everyone craves. 00:24:34.670 --> 00:24:38.710 It's my great jingle that I made up and am still doing. 00:24:38.730 --> 00:24:40.390 Love it. 00:24:40.410 --> 00:24:41.030 Gotta love it. 00:24:41.910 --> 00:24:52.030 This one comes to us on Twitter from FakePunkHalfTwink at Monster Pure who says, Hello at Salt Cravings. 00:24:52.510 --> 00:24:54.610 I crave a smooth brain. 00:24:55.190 --> 00:24:55.890 No thoughts. 00:24:56.450 --> 00:24:57.390 Please fix this. 00:24:57.550 --> 00:24:57.910 Thanks. 00:25:00.090 --> 00:25:07.430 So, do you know, have you ever had like a belt sander or just like... 00:25:08.190 --> 00:25:08.730 Yes. 00:25:09.150 --> 00:25:15.170 But I'm, I know what you, I know where you're going with this, but I'm gonna cut us off right there. 00:25:16.670 --> 00:25:19.710 What if there was simply a way for the brain to smooth itself out? 00:25:19.970 --> 00:25:22.410 How do you think you smooth out a brain? 00:25:23.690 --> 00:25:34.630 Well, if it smooths itself out, it's like how the vagina cleans itself out, except the brain cleans out thoughts, which I think is just aging, but as you age, your brain gets rounder. 00:25:35.230 --> 00:25:37.770 We need it immediately. 00:25:37.850 --> 00:25:47.190 I think there's totally a way we could just mix up a sort of drink that could allow one's brain to clean itself and smooth itself out. 00:25:47.710 --> 00:25:52.090 Is it like a neti pot sort of thing where you just pour it up your nose? 00:25:52.350 --> 00:25:57.530 What do you think would be in the drink that would just help you clean out your brain? 00:25:57.890 --> 00:25:59.130 Hydrogen peroxide. 00:26:01.030 --> 00:26:03.870 Now that's a choice. 00:26:03.890 --> 00:26:06.890 Just put hydrogen peroxide into a neti pot. 00:26:07.930 --> 00:26:11.930 I was going to go more ephemeral, like some sort of... 00:26:12.390 --> 00:26:18.350 Your brain will be ephemeral and ethereal and probably like gaseous at the end of this. 00:26:19.430 --> 00:26:21.890 Sloshy, probably slurry-like. 00:26:22.130 --> 00:26:24.270 Even slurpy-like one could argue. 00:26:24.750 --> 00:26:26.010 Well, we don't want that. 00:26:26.030 --> 00:26:27.390 We just want it to be smoothed out. 00:26:27.410 --> 00:26:37.350 If you do the neti cup of peroxide, then you can just take a straw to your brain and suck out all the little lumps and you got to smooth the brain. 00:26:37.370 --> 00:26:39.150 Hey, everyone. 00:26:39.170 --> 00:26:44.270 I'm just body horror alert. 00:26:45.690 --> 00:26:48.350 We have a Salt Cravings body horror alert, everyone. 00:26:48.370 --> 00:26:51.630 I put that thing in the description for sure. 00:26:52.050 --> 00:27:00.910 We could make this kind of funny and silly and be like, oh, what sort of things would help you just empty yourself of thoughts? 00:27:00.930 --> 00:27:06.330 And we could say funny things like hot ladies. 00:27:06.450 --> 00:27:11.010 Haha, because you don't think when you see a hot girl and you're just like, I don't know what to say or do. 00:27:12.170 --> 00:27:16.330 You know, and so that would be like a funny joke thing to say. 00:27:16.350 --> 00:27:19.890 Hot ladies come and suck out your brains through the brain straw. 00:27:21.570 --> 00:27:25.630 I can't, let's just look at the craving again. 00:27:26.070 --> 00:27:30.310 In fact, it doesn't say I want to suck out my brain with a straw. 00:27:30.330 --> 00:27:33.350 This is why you got the hot lady to do it. 00:27:33.510 --> 00:27:34.310 No thoughts. 00:27:34.750 --> 00:27:36.790 Smooth brain, hot lady, suck out your brain. 00:27:40.090 --> 00:27:41.690 It's like brain vampires. 00:27:41.710 --> 00:27:47.230 Instead of the neck, they just fucking bite the top of your head. 00:27:47.530 --> 00:27:57.890 How have you decided to, instead of simply helping us smooth out this person's brain, you've gone much farther and decided that they have to suck out their brain with a straw. 00:27:57.910 --> 00:27:58.790 It's not what they want. 00:27:58.810 --> 00:28:02.230 They just, this person and all people want to smooth out. 00:28:02.770 --> 00:28:03.910 No, that's not. 00:28:04.250 --> 00:28:05.410 It's selective strawing. 00:28:05.430 --> 00:28:05.890 It might work. 00:28:06.230 --> 00:28:07.870 I guess you could just suck the lumps out. 00:28:08.330 --> 00:28:10.430 But maybe there's less horrifying ways. 00:28:11.050 --> 00:28:15.830 You missed my other one, which is hot lady vampire attached to your head instead of your neck. 00:28:16.270 --> 00:28:17.190 Yeah, uh-huh. 00:28:17.650 --> 00:28:20.090 It's kind of the same except the straw is their mouth. 00:28:20.710 --> 00:28:21.090 Sure. 00:28:21.110 --> 00:28:23.070 Which is kind of just how vampires work. 00:28:23.290 --> 00:28:28.170 Yeah, no, no, I do kind of understand what direction you're going in. 00:28:28.430 --> 00:28:30.570 I do kind of see the direction you're going in. 00:28:30.590 --> 00:28:37.330 And I'm saying, what if we just kind of changed course and didn't make this a body horror thing? 00:28:37.810 --> 00:28:39.690 You want to smooth your brain out, Brianna? 00:28:40.130 --> 00:28:41.070 How would you do it? 00:28:41.510 --> 00:28:44.930 I'll be over here with the hot lady sucking out my brain. 00:28:47.130 --> 00:28:58.330 I would simply, I would simply just, I would just go through the process of smooth brainification. 00:28:59.070 --> 00:29:03.370 You'd sign up for the government assigned process of smooth brainification. 00:29:03.790 --> 00:29:06.630 Now, now, I just have to wait one to two years. 00:29:07.230 --> 00:29:08.470 You have to go through a few consultations. 00:29:08.490 --> 00:29:13.710 I do kind of realize the corner I back, I started realizing the corner I back myself into. 00:29:13.870 --> 00:29:19.990 You have to see three therapists to make sure that you actually want a smooth brain. 00:29:20.410 --> 00:29:38.410 Clair, what I've unfortunately realized that we might be talking about here, and this is maybe why you were going the body horror route, is bimbofication or himbofication or thembofication or whatever gender imbofication you want to go, you want to talk about. 00:29:38.430 --> 00:29:39.990 Is himbo a gender now? 00:29:40.010 --> 00:29:42.990 And so I do, sure fucking is, dude. 00:29:44.730 --> 00:29:47.450 Seen some people with himbo as their gender. 00:29:47.990 --> 00:29:57.350 I'm simply saying maybe we should have gone the body horror route rather than talking about himbofication on our fun podcast. 00:29:57.650 --> 00:29:59.730 Let me introduce you to this lovely lady. 00:30:00.030 --> 00:30:04.410 Her name is Angela, and she is an angel. 00:30:04.470 --> 00:30:06.430 She will suck your brain out with a straw. 00:30:06.450 --> 00:30:08.030 It is a special angel straw. 00:30:08.450 --> 00:30:09.370 It smooths your brain. 00:30:09.910 --> 00:30:12.950 All right, well, you know, everybody give a round of applause to Angela. 00:30:14.070 --> 00:30:14.930 Great job. 00:30:15.990 --> 00:30:16.510 Excellent. 00:30:16.530 --> 00:30:16.910 All right. 00:30:16.930 --> 00:30:19.630 So we'll just send Angela off to our fan who needs it. 00:30:20.110 --> 00:30:20.670 Thank you. 00:30:20.690 --> 00:30:24.990 Sign up for the Angela email, and we will she will hunt you down. 00:30:26.290 --> 00:30:27.930 Thank you for the thank you for the submission. 00:30:27.950 --> 00:30:29.010 Thank you for the craving. 00:30:29.510 --> 00:30:31.750 We have solved it perfectly. 00:30:31.850 --> 00:30:34.450 Another another great job by us. 00:30:35.670 --> 00:30:36.330 Hell, yeah. 00:30:37.950 --> 00:30:39.130 See which craving you get. 00:30:39.570 --> 00:30:40.050 All right. 00:30:40.310 --> 00:30:41.770 I've rolled this dice. 00:30:42.230 --> 00:30:44.590 It seems to be coming up with the other craving that I brought. 00:30:44.590 --> 00:30:45.430 OK, all right. 00:30:45.970 --> 00:30:46.670 That's lucky. 00:30:46.750 --> 00:30:47.870 I tell you what, that's luck. 00:30:48.350 --> 00:30:49.790 Yeah, the dice were on my side. 00:30:50.210 --> 00:30:53.150 You could have gotten the bimbofication option, but... 00:30:56.230 --> 00:30:59.730 Who's ready to play some blaze ball? 00:30:59.750 --> 00:31:02.150 All right, I'm going to go. 00:31:02.850 --> 00:31:04.010 No, stop. 00:31:05.610 --> 00:31:10.490 Now, I'm just going to briefly talk about blaze ball, and then I'll get into the craving. 00:31:12.230 --> 00:31:14.950 Can we skip forward to the craving? 00:31:15.490 --> 00:31:18.470 I just want to explain for the listeners who might not know what blaze ball is. 00:31:19.110 --> 00:31:21.470 Trust me, if they Google it, they're not going to get a good answer. 00:31:21.490 --> 00:31:23.250 It's bad baseball. 00:31:23.590 --> 00:31:24.990 No, it's simulated baseball. 00:31:25.110 --> 00:31:25.650 There you go. 00:31:25.670 --> 00:31:26.430 You explained it. 00:31:26.710 --> 00:31:27.210 I know. 00:31:28.210 --> 00:31:31.750 It's simulated fan driven baseball. 00:31:31.850 --> 00:31:34.710 It is like, yeah, all done through text simulators. 00:31:34.730 --> 00:31:38.790 There's like weird wacky names of players and teams. 00:31:39.250 --> 00:31:46.910 You can bet on matches, get coins, use those coins to buy votes, use votes to change the way the game is played the next season. 00:31:47.070 --> 00:31:48.050 Every season is a week. 00:31:48.650 --> 00:31:49.810 It's currently on hiatus. 00:31:50.450 --> 00:31:54.830 Hopefully by the time that this comes out, it will no longer be on hiatus, but right now it is. 00:31:55.110 --> 00:32:00.450 And this is why my particular craving today, which is based on Blaseball. 00:32:00.470 --> 00:32:02.070 Thank you, thank you, Blaseball. 00:32:02.090 --> 00:32:04.090 The commissioner is doing a great job, et cetera, et cetera. 00:32:04.450 --> 00:32:15.230 I want more fake sports, because I don't typically really care all that much about real sports, but fake sports, fake sports I love. 00:32:16.110 --> 00:32:20.270 My kind of top two fake sports, one was Blaseball. 00:32:20.930 --> 00:32:37.510 The other was this Minecraft competition that used to happen called Ultra Hardcore, where a bunch of these Minecraft YouTubers would face off and split into teams and try to be the last one standing in a Minecraft server where healing wasn't an option. 00:32:37.970 --> 00:32:38.770 So that was fun. 00:32:38.790 --> 00:32:40.510 It was sort of like Hunger Games, but Minecraft. 00:32:40.570 --> 00:32:41.910 Anyway, it was fun. 00:32:42.010 --> 00:32:43.030 It's a good, fun time. 00:32:43.030 --> 00:32:49.730 I like simulated, weird, nerdy sports, because I think it's fun. 00:32:50.290 --> 00:32:53.630 This explains your relationship with curling a lot. 00:32:54.250 --> 00:32:59.350 Yeah, because curling is basically the nerdiest sport you can get while still being a real sport. 00:32:59.730 --> 00:33:03.410 So, Clair, what's our new fake sport? 00:33:03.410 --> 00:33:09.090 Let's come up with this simulated, fun, fake sport that we can be fans of. 00:33:09.290 --> 00:33:11.750 So, consider golf. 00:33:12.610 --> 00:33:15.490 Now, what if golf was wrestling? 00:33:16.390 --> 00:33:17.090 Oh, what? 00:33:18.710 --> 00:33:20.070 What if golf was wrestling? 00:33:20.410 --> 00:33:21.450 Now, this. 00:33:21.890 --> 00:33:23.830 Now, I just have a quick question. 00:33:24.290 --> 00:33:25.190 Just one question. 00:33:25.430 --> 00:33:28.150 How much space does this now take up? 00:33:28.170 --> 00:33:32.850 Because golf courses take up a lot of space and water and are bad generally for the environment. 00:33:32.850 --> 00:33:33.410 So like... 00:33:34.070 --> 00:33:35.010 No, it's just a ring. 00:33:35.930 --> 00:33:37.230 Let's talk about golf wrestling. 00:33:37.410 --> 00:33:38.450 What is golf wrestling? 00:33:39.130 --> 00:33:40.130 It's all scripted. 00:33:40.570 --> 00:33:43.170 So it's golf pro wrestling. 00:33:44.590 --> 00:33:44.970 Yes. 00:33:45.470 --> 00:33:45.990 I see. 00:33:46.150 --> 00:33:47.030 I understand now. 00:33:48.010 --> 00:33:53.370 Wrestling is a good, fake sport that I have not gotten into, but golf wrestling, I will absolutely get into. 00:33:53.390 --> 00:33:56.570 So are they trying to shoot a ball? 00:33:56.890 --> 00:34:03.490 So they do have clubs and it's not illegal to hit each other with these clubs. 00:34:04.230 --> 00:34:22.330 It's, you know, it's saved for the big moments, but most of it is, it's more about the tee-off, the giving offenses to your opponent to throw them off balance and inevitably tossing them out of the ring in some capacity. 00:34:22.730 --> 00:34:24.790 So it's sumo wrestling. 00:34:25.190 --> 00:34:26.390 We can add that one too. 00:34:26.790 --> 00:34:27.310 You know what? 00:34:27.790 --> 00:34:29.130 Why stop at three? 00:34:29.630 --> 00:34:31.230 How many sports can we get in here? 00:34:31.250 --> 00:34:37.670 I think we should have to hit a ball through a hoop. 00:34:38.630 --> 00:34:44.570 It's like pool, but you stand on the pool board and you kick the balls in the corner. 00:34:45.110 --> 00:34:46.650 Okay, so it's like soccer too. 00:34:46.670 --> 00:34:49.090 Yeah, yeah, it's like soccer pool. 00:34:49.570 --> 00:34:50.110 Sewel. 00:34:50.130 --> 00:34:50.370 Right. 00:34:50.470 --> 00:34:51.730 And it's also wrestling. 00:34:52.010 --> 00:34:52.610 Poggers. 00:34:52.630 --> 00:34:53.770 We're making poggers. 00:34:54.210 --> 00:34:56.030 This is Poggers the game. 00:34:56.550 --> 00:34:57.490 So it's still wrestling. 00:34:57.510 --> 00:34:58.270 You're still wrestling. 00:34:58.290 --> 00:35:01.970 What happens if you throw someone else in one of the pool sockets? 00:35:02.130 --> 00:35:04.950 That's like double points, but then their ally comes in. 00:35:04.970 --> 00:35:10.310 And usually when the ally comes in, they have double the strength and speed as the last one. 00:35:10.570 --> 00:35:14.330 So you really got to choose when you like, you know, you got to time it, right? 00:35:14.650 --> 00:35:16.110 This makes so much sense. 00:35:16.330 --> 00:35:18.950 Now, how small are you? 00:35:18.950 --> 00:35:19.970 How big are you? 00:35:20.010 --> 00:35:20.770 Are the balls? 00:35:20.930 --> 00:35:22.270 How big are the balls? 00:35:22.830 --> 00:35:24.330 Hey, Clair, how big are the balls? 00:35:25.470 --> 00:35:27.410 Haven't had this conversation with you in a while. 00:35:32.110 --> 00:35:33.910 They're like beach ball size, right? 00:35:33.930 --> 00:35:36.690 So that you could fit a whole person into the holes. 00:35:37.070 --> 00:35:38.050 Yeah, that makes sense. 00:35:38.410 --> 00:35:43.790 It's sort of also like those danger courses where people try not to fall off. 00:35:44.470 --> 00:35:46.570 Wipeout is what, yeah, that type of thing. 00:35:47.350 --> 00:36:01.110 And then I think the other thing that could be fun here, because I do want to get baseball in here, because baseball is my favorite non-curling sport, is I think you have to do a lap at some point in the game of the pool table or else you can't win. 00:36:01.130 --> 00:36:02.490 And here's how it works. 00:36:02.650 --> 00:36:04.270 Oh, oh, oh, sorry. 00:36:04.290 --> 00:36:05.330 Do you want to go or should I go? 00:36:05.350 --> 00:36:07.130 I want to see what you think of mine. 00:36:07.190 --> 00:36:16.710 It's as soon as you throw the person into the hole, you have to run from the teammate around a lap because the teammate is going to be right behind you, chasing you the whole time. 00:36:16.990 --> 00:36:32.670 Consider instead that it's a necessary win condition that you can do in parts where you have to, at some point in the match in order to win, cover the entirety of the board from one hole to another. 00:36:33.110 --> 00:36:39.530 And if you don't, and if you don't by the time you've gotten the last ball into the thing, you would have to run around then. 00:36:39.930 --> 00:36:46.230 And during that time, the opponent can start to grab the balls out of the holes and try and score for themselves. 00:36:46.230 --> 00:36:47.670 And so you have to get it done. 00:36:47.910 --> 00:36:52.310 You have to kind of weigh when to do it, when it's safe to do it, you know, that whole thing. 00:36:52.970 --> 00:36:54.850 And what do we call like the sport? 00:36:55.350 --> 00:36:57.790 So, baseball is baseball with an L in it. 00:36:57.810 --> 00:36:59.030 Mm-hmm. 00:36:59.270 --> 00:37:04.390 But this is sort of a mix of sports, whereas baseball is just kind of one simulated sport. 00:37:04.730 --> 00:37:06.270 We can just call it Fortball. 00:37:06.830 --> 00:37:08.370 It's like football with an R. 00:37:09.410 --> 00:37:12.270 And people would get confused with Fortnite and think it's Fortnite. 00:37:12.450 --> 00:37:13.630 Yeah, people will come out. 00:37:13.650 --> 00:37:16.810 They'll be like, yo, I'm gonna go see that new like Fortnite thing. 00:37:17.350 --> 00:37:22.890 My niece really loves Fortnite and the tickets were $500 and we had to buy it for her. 00:37:23.790 --> 00:37:26.150 And then we take $500 away from Fortnite. 00:37:26.270 --> 00:37:27.290 That's how that works. 00:37:27.690 --> 00:37:29.450 Yes, this is a great idea. 00:37:29.470 --> 00:37:31.770 So it's called, yeah, it's called Fortball. 00:37:31.970 --> 00:37:33.810 There's also Fort building involved. 00:37:34.330 --> 00:37:36.850 But that's like, that's like on a tie, you know. 00:37:37.570 --> 00:37:41.030 The best part about this sport is it has a tagline. 00:37:41.070 --> 00:37:42.130 It's Fortnite. 00:37:42.170 --> 00:37:43.510 The panic never stops. 00:37:43.930 --> 00:37:45.370 Wait, I said Fortnite. 00:37:45.390 --> 00:37:46.150 You said Fortnite. 00:37:46.170 --> 00:37:47.010 Which is also true. 00:37:47.370 --> 00:37:48.870 We're gonna get sued. 00:37:50.090 --> 00:37:50.530 Damn it. 00:37:50.550 --> 00:37:52.070 Fortnite is gonna sue us now. 00:37:52.430 --> 00:37:53.130 Fortball. 00:37:53.230 --> 00:37:54.490 It's Real Sportball. 00:37:57.330 --> 00:37:58.030 Yeah, that's it. 00:37:58.130 --> 00:37:59.410 That's the tagline. 00:37:59.430 --> 00:38:00.930 I would love to play this game. 00:38:01.190 --> 00:38:05.090 I mean, I wouldn't because I'm disabled, but theoretically I would love to play this game. 00:38:05.670 --> 00:38:08.090 Theoretically would love to be a sports person. 00:38:08.710 --> 00:38:09.790 Absolutely agreed. 00:38:10.310 --> 00:38:14.230 With all of these cravings settled, there's only one craving left. 00:38:15.150 --> 00:38:16.710 And that's yours. 00:38:18.390 --> 00:38:23.330 And so I'm asking, would you... 00:38:25.850 --> 00:38:26.990 Tell me your final... 00:38:29.810 --> 00:38:31.090 I can do that. 00:38:31.110 --> 00:38:31.610 Craving. 00:38:34.050 --> 00:38:36.890 So my final... 00:38:37.510 --> 00:38:39.490 So my final craving is... 00:38:39.990 --> 00:38:42.570 It's been five months, I think, or six. 00:38:42.630 --> 00:38:44.610 I don't remember anymore of lockdown. 00:38:45.310 --> 00:38:46.610 And one of the... 00:38:47.710 --> 00:38:48.290 Woo! 00:38:48.370 --> 00:38:49.870 Party! 00:38:49.970 --> 00:38:59.350 And one of the things that I had been wanting to do, one of the selfish, more selfish things, is get tattoos. 00:39:00.310 --> 00:39:03.850 I am craving so many tattoos. 00:39:04.630 --> 00:39:05.370 Oh my god. 00:39:05.690 --> 00:39:07.510 Yes, I feel this, I understand this. 00:39:07.950 --> 00:39:09.390 There were definitely tattoos. 00:39:09.410 --> 00:39:12.950 Thankfully, I hadn't decided on one exactly before. 00:39:12.970 --> 00:39:15.290 So I'm still sort of thinking. 00:39:15.310 --> 00:39:17.910 But that's rough. 00:39:18.070 --> 00:39:20.250 Do you want to tell us any of the tattoos you wanted? 00:39:20.870 --> 00:39:28.470 Well, I told myself, when I graduated, I was going to get two forearm tattoos as a sort of fuck you to academia. 00:39:28.490 --> 00:39:32.210 Because if you get forearm tattoos, your hireability immediately goes down. 00:39:33.450 --> 00:39:38.110 But I was going to be like, yeah, so these are my forearm tattoos based on math and computer science. 00:39:38.490 --> 00:39:39.230 Incredible. 00:39:40.290 --> 00:39:41.670 And so I really want those. 00:39:41.790 --> 00:39:47.950 And then I wanted to finish and redo my back, which is going to be completely space-themed. 00:39:48.510 --> 00:39:50.270 Just a bunch of leg tattoos. 00:39:50.830 --> 00:39:53.170 They were all inspired by friends. 00:39:53.450 --> 00:40:01.210 I've decided all my friends are going to get a leg tattoo in some capacity, eventually at some point in my life. 00:40:01.690 --> 00:40:04.990 And by that I mean, I am getting a tattoo on my leg. 00:40:05.010 --> 00:40:10.010 Come on, I'm going to go around to my friends and be like, hold still, I'm putting a fucking tattoo on you. 00:40:11.730 --> 00:40:13.510 Yes, yes. 00:40:13.570 --> 00:40:19.730 You wake up, I am over top of you in your bed with gloves on and a machine just whirring quietly. 00:40:19.850 --> 00:40:24.550 And you look up and I've drawn a little salt shaker on you and I'm like, oh sup. 00:40:27.070 --> 00:40:29.110 Yeah, these are all very cool tattoo ideas. 00:40:29.910 --> 00:40:33.690 You know, it can't get sick with Corona drones. 00:40:33.710 --> 00:40:34.010 What? 00:40:34.850 --> 00:40:35.090 Oh. 00:40:35.470 --> 00:40:36.890 What if we had tattoo drones? 00:40:38.230 --> 00:40:44.030 What if we just pushed the market away from like people was instead robots? 00:40:44.770 --> 00:40:47.290 Now, I'm glad we've returned to the core of Salt Cravings. 00:40:47.830 --> 00:40:49.130 I want to mix it up a bit. 00:40:49.610 --> 00:40:56.310 I think these robots are Drone by tattoo artists. 00:40:56.470 --> 00:41:01.490 Yeah, so you get like a little screen that you can talk to and it has their face on it. 00:41:01.510 --> 00:41:05.270 So you're like video calling while you're getting tattooed. 00:41:05.590 --> 00:41:08.810 We've successfully zoomified tattoos. 00:41:09.170 --> 00:41:11.450 The zoom sponsored droid tattoo. 00:41:11.950 --> 00:41:16.370 Every tattoo actually comes with like a little zoom watermark on the bottom. 00:41:16.550 --> 00:41:17.450 It's real great. 00:41:17.650 --> 00:41:20.550 Do you think we could convince them to only use drones for this purpose? 00:41:20.970 --> 00:41:22.290 No other uses of drones. 00:41:23.050 --> 00:41:25.490 Yeah, drones are illegal except for giving tattoos now. 00:41:25.990 --> 00:41:26.470 It's true. 00:41:26.490 --> 00:41:27.710 That is their only purpose. 00:41:28.190 --> 00:41:31.410 This is what querying drones was all about, actually. 00:41:31.430 --> 00:41:32.670 Shut the fuck up. 00:41:34.710 --> 00:41:35.430 Fuck up. 00:41:35.810 --> 00:41:38.230 How dare you bring that back into my brain? 00:41:38.250 --> 00:41:42.010 I want a smooth brain now. 00:41:42.510 --> 00:41:46.610 Smooth brain put into a drone and then we tattoo the brain. 00:41:47.250 --> 00:41:47.650 Fine. 00:41:47.670 --> 00:41:50.030 Okay, we can consider some non drone options. 00:41:50.150 --> 00:41:51.290 No, I'm full drone now. 00:41:51.310 --> 00:41:52.510 Wait, you're drone? 00:41:53.410 --> 00:41:54.570 Only on my mother's side. 00:41:54.590 --> 00:42:00.450 Insert joke about women's labor. 00:42:04.350 --> 00:42:05.490 We're on the jokes today. 00:42:05.510 --> 00:42:07.130 I tell you, this one's one of our funniest. 00:42:08.930 --> 00:42:15.050 Okay, so what if we could go farther and just do full robot bodies or, you know, just like, yeah, full. 00:42:15.370 --> 00:42:17.390 Do you know temporary tattoos? 00:42:18.330 --> 00:42:18.530 Sorry. 00:42:21.870 --> 00:42:24.010 Temporary tattoos where you just stick them on. 00:42:24.030 --> 00:42:24.930 VR. 00:42:24.950 --> 00:42:32.070 I was like, what if you could control the robot by like you move and the robot moves how you were moving? 00:42:32.550 --> 00:42:33.710 And it's like VR. 00:42:33.730 --> 00:42:35.950 That sounds like you can really. 00:42:36.030 --> 00:42:42.510 You hit one nerve and you and suddenly you just have, I guess, like ink everywhere. 00:42:42.530 --> 00:42:49.810 I was going to tattoo my eyeball, but then I flinched and now I don't have that eye anymore. 00:42:50.410 --> 00:42:53.270 Well, you know, it's probably fine. 00:42:53.650 --> 00:42:56.030 Look, everything's fine until something goes wrong. 00:42:56.530 --> 00:42:57.810 That's wisdom. 00:42:57.990 --> 00:42:58.850 That's what that is. 00:42:58.870 --> 00:42:59.890 That's wisdom. 00:43:00.070 --> 00:43:07.770 That's the sort of wisdom I expect from a very, from an ancient tattooed genius like yourself. 00:43:08.550 --> 00:43:11.690 So temporary tattoos, how would we work that in? 00:43:12.110 --> 00:43:14.430 What if there was a permanent temporary tattoo? 00:43:15.110 --> 00:43:18.170 So it's like they pre-do it, right? 00:43:18.590 --> 00:43:23.070 And then it digs into your flesh when it gets stuck. 00:43:23.090 --> 00:43:23.910 Yeah, I guess so. 00:43:24.350 --> 00:43:27.610 I guess it's just sort of like it wraps around you. 00:43:27.650 --> 00:43:36.550 And then over the course of like, I mean, we'll say six hours because that's about the time it takes for like an average, I guess, bigger tattoo or more detailed. 00:43:36.930 --> 00:43:43.150 And it just slowly, like very, very, very slowly needles into you so that you never actually feel it. 00:43:43.170 --> 00:43:46.590 In fact, it's the speed of the needle that makes it hurt less, I'm pretty sure. 00:43:46.910 --> 00:43:49.470 But we're not going to think about that. 00:43:49.470 --> 00:43:56.210 It goes real slow and over the course of six hours, as long as you don't fuck anything up, you will have a permanent temporary tattoo. 00:43:56.670 --> 00:43:58.450 How do we make it dig in? 00:44:00.210 --> 00:44:08.910 Imagine if a bunch of spikes came out of the ground in a uniform pattern or even better, a better imagery, CPU chips. 00:44:09.630 --> 00:44:12.830 But just slowly digging in further and further. 00:44:13.190 --> 00:44:14.130 Cool, normal. 00:44:14.230 --> 00:44:16.070 You got to deliver the ink somehow. 00:44:16.750 --> 00:44:21.750 Now I know they can use laser to remove tattoos, but could they use laser to create tattoos? 00:44:22.370 --> 00:44:24.990 I mean, if you turn the laser up high enough, yeah, sure. 00:44:25.010 --> 00:44:27.310 It's just like how you can use a knife. 00:44:27.910 --> 00:44:29.070 Yeah, I guess. 00:44:29.270 --> 00:44:31.170 I mean, yeah, Clair, you can consider... 00:44:31.530 --> 00:44:32.930 We just laser tattoos. 00:44:33.330 --> 00:44:34.730 Simply give yourself tattoos. 00:44:35.210 --> 00:44:37.650 Yeah, simply learn how to tattoo. 00:44:38.450 --> 00:44:39.870 Study that whole thing. 00:44:39.890 --> 00:44:41.130 Get really good at it. 00:44:41.510 --> 00:44:43.130 And then just do it on yourself. 00:44:43.150 --> 00:44:45.030 And I'm sure it won't go wrong at all. 00:44:45.050 --> 00:44:47.630 I mean, that's how a lot of people start. 00:44:47.650 --> 00:44:48.970 If you don't have a banana. 00:44:49.650 --> 00:44:52.530 I mean, I think you probably start on the banana or... 00:44:52.970 --> 00:44:54.790 I've seen oranges used as well. 00:44:55.130 --> 00:44:59.170 And I'm pretty sure you start there and then you would tattoo a person. 00:45:00.010 --> 00:45:01.170 I'll consider it, Brianna. 00:45:01.190 --> 00:45:02.370 Okay, you're just gonna jump in. 00:45:02.390 --> 00:45:03.810 You're just gonna jump in. 00:45:04.210 --> 00:45:06.870 Like with an orange, I feel compelled to eat it. 00:45:06.970 --> 00:45:08.510 I don't feel compelled to tattoo it. 00:45:08.530 --> 00:45:13.570 But when I look at myself in the mirror, I feel compelled to tattoo myself, not necessarily eat myself. 00:45:13.890 --> 00:45:16.070 So you see, that is the logic I play here. 00:45:16.090 --> 00:45:21.270 I think if you really want to jump in, you have to really commit. 00:45:21.290 --> 00:45:25.430 And I think you have to do the most complex tattoo first. 00:45:26.090 --> 00:45:31.590 Only the true tattoo artists really start off doing the most complex tattoos on themselves. 00:45:31.610 --> 00:45:33.290 That's how you know they're true tattooers. 00:45:33.790 --> 00:45:37.350 If you have to practice, you're a fake tattooerist. 00:45:37.470 --> 00:45:40.370 Only the best are the tattooists. 00:45:40.890 --> 00:45:43.330 What if you could combine all of the solutions that we did? 00:45:43.850 --> 00:45:44.370 And robot you could... 00:45:44.390 --> 00:45:45.470 Turn yourself into an orange. 00:45:45.970 --> 00:45:47.170 Oh, that's different. 00:45:47.430 --> 00:45:48.390 That's a different thing. 00:45:48.410 --> 00:45:49.450 That's a... 00:45:49.710 --> 00:45:52.210 Wow, that would be a very annoying orange. 00:45:53.250 --> 00:45:54.790 That probably never aged well. 00:45:55.330 --> 00:46:03.870 We're just going to get a bunch of annoying orange clients, and that really is the best way to test if you can withstand your clientele. 00:46:04.230 --> 00:46:06.070 And who knows, maybe the oranges pay well. 00:46:06.710 --> 00:46:08.870 I don't think the orange knows what money is. 00:46:10.430 --> 00:46:12.590 Teach the orange what capitalism is. 00:46:13.210 --> 00:46:16.410 Okay, you gotta have magic tattoos that can make something come alive. 00:46:16.610 --> 00:46:21.130 Make an orange come alive, turn into the annoying orange, and then teach it capitalism. 00:46:21.170 --> 00:46:22.950 And that would be messed up, right? 00:46:24.170 --> 00:46:25.290 A, you know? 00:46:25.310 --> 00:46:27.590 Do we have any more jokes? 00:46:27.590 --> 00:46:28.730 Nope, no more jokes. 00:46:28.810 --> 00:46:30.670 Just, just outros. 00:46:30.790 --> 00:46:36.310 You could follow us on Instagram and Facebook and Twitter at saltcravings.com. 00:46:36.630 --> 00:46:37.310 That's not it. 00:46:37.330 --> 00:46:39.130 Saltcravings, at Salt Cravings. 00:46:42.690 --> 00:46:45.630 You can listen to this whole podcast on saltcravings.com. 00:46:45.650 --> 00:46:46.950 I don't know how many people do that. 00:46:46.970 --> 00:46:53.350 I set up the RSS feed so you don't have to, but hey, you can also do that, which I guess I've never said. 00:46:53.750 --> 00:46:57.130 You can also submit your salt cravings. 00:46:57.150 --> 00:47:03.110 You can submit your cravings at submissions at saltcravings.com or you can rate us. 00:47:03.130 --> 00:47:05.910 We promise not all solutions will be body horror. 00:47:06.550 --> 00:47:07.170 I promise. 00:47:07.570 --> 00:47:08.970 Maybe body horror adjacent. 00:47:09.110 --> 00:47:12.130 You can also give us a rating on iTunes. 00:47:13.330 --> 00:47:16.830 I don't think Google Play and whatever else. 00:47:17.150 --> 00:47:18.510 Ratings are a thing. 00:47:18.850 --> 00:47:19.970 Give us a rating or a review. 00:47:19.990 --> 00:47:20.750 That'd be great. 00:47:20.910 --> 00:47:23.850 Donate some money to a good cause. 00:47:25.030 --> 00:47:26.230 Yep, those are in the description. 00:47:26.690 --> 00:47:27.950 Do we have anything else to say? 00:47:27.970 --> 00:47:29.770 Actually, you know what, Clair? 00:47:30.430 --> 00:47:32.610 I have just one more thing to say. 00:47:33.190 --> 00:47:38.910 The problem with the Clone Wars is that they aren't certainly what story they're telling. 00:47:38.930 --> 00:47:41.570 Wait until Blaseball enters the Star Wars universe. 00:47:43.350 --> 00:47:53.410 And the problem with it is they're not certain if the story that they're telling is one of the Call of the Republic or one against an external threat because we know the external threat. 00:49:07.049 --> 00:49:11.069 Hootsweet, hootsweet, hootsweet, hootsweet, hootsweet, hootsweet, hootsweet. 00:49:11.069 --> 00:49:12.469 I should check the emails more. 00:49:13.789 --> 00:49:15.389 Hootsweet, hootsweet, hootsweet. 00:49:15.669 --> 00:49:16.689 Okay, maybe I can just... 00:49:20.489 --> 00:49:28.029 Well, maybe if a certain fan base sent in more emails, we wouldn't have to not check our emails so often. 00:49:29.709 --> 00:49:31.249 It's clearly the fans' fault. 00:49:32.089 --> 00:49:35.189 Simply submit cravings if you want us to listen to you. 00:49:37.409 --> 00:49:41.329 Simply talk and we'll actually listen, maybe. 00:49:41.349 --> 00:49:44.789 If I were a fan of Salt Cravings, I would simply submit a craving. 00:49:48.389 --> 00:49:50.709 Ripped to fans of Salt Cravings, but I'm different. 00:49:53.529 --> 00:49:56.009 I'm not like the other fans of Salt Cravings. 00:49:56.009 --> 00:49:57.669 I'm half of Salt Cravings.