SPEAKER_1: Here at this bonanza, we don't believe in mass, we believe in freedom of expression and choice.
SPEAKER_1: Every citizen and every individual has the right to wear whatever facial gear and non-facial gear they have equally.
SPEAKER_1: Ma'am, what kind of non-facial gear are you wearing today?
SPEAKER_2: Well, let me tell you there, Joan.
SPEAKER_2: I have been wearing.
SPEAKER_2: Right, Margaret Joan, that's your name.
SPEAKER_1: Margaret Mananza.
SPEAKER_1: This is Margaret Mananza's anti-mask pananza.
SPEAKER_1: Did you not read the sign?
SPEAKER_2: Well, I tell you I didn't read the sign.
SPEAKER_2: You know why I didn't read the sign?
SPEAKER_2: Because I am wearing dark glasses, not sunglasses.
SPEAKER_2: Let me tell you about dark glasses.
SPEAKER_2: Completely can't see anything in them.
SPEAKER_2: That's what they do.
SPEAKER_2: They're dark glasses, but let me tell you something.
SPEAKER_2: Let me tell you something.
SPEAKER_2: They don't cover my nose and mouth, and so I'm keeping my freedom.
SPEAKER_1: Ah, yes.
SPEAKER_1: See, this is what we promote here.
SPEAKER_2: What we promote here is don't wear a mask because it takes away your freedoms and rights as a citizen.
SPEAKER_1: Freedom of expression.
SPEAKER_1: If I can't express myself through my choice in clothing or non-clothing, I just wanna be clear.
SPEAKER_1: That should be my right.
SPEAKER_2: We can go a step further.
SPEAKER_2: And I believe that we should not have to wear clothes.
SPEAKER_2: And so I'm just gonna strip down right here in this store to express my personal freedom.
SPEAKER_1: Everyone, everyone, this is a clothing optional store now.
SPEAKER_1: I'd like to introduce-
SPEAKER_2: Wow, everyone is taking off their clothes.
SPEAKER_1: I'd like to introduce the Mananza Bananzas first and unadulterated store.
SPEAKER_2: What a wonderful place it is.
SPEAKER_2: You shouldn't wear a mask.
SPEAKER_2: You shouldn't wear clothes.
SPEAKER_2: You shouldn't wear anything.
SPEAKER_2: You should be nude and have just nothing going on.
SPEAKER_1: The less you wear, the less the government can constrain you.
SPEAKER_1: They can't grab your underwear if you're not wearing underwear.
SPEAKER_1: It's how you run faster.
SPEAKER_2: That's how you run.
SPEAKER_1: If you want to tackle the government, if you want to tackle the government, you gotta make sure you've got the least amount of things weighing you down.
SPEAKER_2: Yep, absolutely, Margaret.
SPEAKER_1: Hey, who are those strangers that have nothing to do with this over there?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I have no idea who those people are, but you should wear a mask.
SPEAKER_2: Everyone should be wearing masks right now.
SPEAKER_2: We are still in a pandemic.
SPEAKER_2: And honestly, I don't even know how y'all are going outside.
SPEAKER_2: It is smoky as hell out here.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, well, you know what Smokey the Bear says.
SPEAKER_1: Burn it down, motherfuckers.
SPEAKER_2: Uh, renowned arsonist Smokey the Bear.
SPEAKER_2: Do you want to see why they call me Smokey?
SPEAKER_1: Throws a fucking doobie into the woods.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, basically.
SPEAKER_1: Also, my name's Clair.
SPEAKER_2: Hi, my name's Brianna.
SPEAKER_1: This is a podcast.
SPEAKER_1: We do Cravings.
SPEAKER_1: We make jokes on it.
SPEAKER_1: Wear a mask.
SPEAKER_1: Did you see the Paul Rude Rudd?
SPEAKER_2: Whatever his name is video where his name is Paul Rudd, but now it's Paul Rude.
SPEAKER_2: Tell me about Paul Rude.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, God, you're not talking about that video.
SPEAKER_1: Fucking they're really like, hello, fellow children.
SPEAKER_1: But like talking at millennials because millennials, which is an age range of, I believe, now 20 to 40.
SPEAKER_2: Let's be real here, the millennial age range is 10 to 60 at this point, I think.
SPEAKER_2: I don't think anyone knows what the fuck millennial means anymore.
SPEAKER_1: Millennials don't get older.
SPEAKER_1: The age range just grows in both directions.
SPEAKER_1: So eventually everyone's going.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, but it's true because eventually everyone will be a millennial because we will all be born within the new millennium.
SPEAKER_1: But ironically, we are not.
SPEAKER_1: We are of the past millennium.
SPEAKER_1: So really, what millennial is going to take on a new meaning, it's going to be I am of the new millennium.
SPEAKER_1: I am revolutionary.
SPEAKER_1: I am of the new millennium.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, the last of the non-millennials will die out, and it will be all millennial all the time.
SPEAKER_1: Anyway, so that video, his breakdown of please just wear a mask was so...
SPEAKER_1: It was so corporate.
SPEAKER_1: I just lost it.
SPEAKER_1: I was like, oh, this is like amusing.
SPEAKER_1: I know it's cringey.
SPEAKER_1: It's amusing to be.
SPEAKER_1: So I can only imagine what someone 10 years younger than me thinks, because people 10 years younger than me definitely probably think I'm cringey.
SPEAKER_2: I hope that people 10 years younger than me think I'm cringey.
SPEAKER_1: Right?
SPEAKER_2: Same.
SPEAKER_1: I hope a 15-year-old looks at me and goes, UGH, that noise.
SPEAKER_2: Yes, basically.
SPEAKER_2: Agreed.
SPEAKER_1: Which I think just me saying that is like, ooh, ooh, you're talking, you're saying mean things about teenagers, which just to be clear, I, you know, respect the youth.
SPEAKER_1: Their opinions deserve to be heard.
SPEAKER_1: But also, we were all 15 once.
SPEAKER_1: We know what being puberty was.
SPEAKER_1: I've been 15 twice.
SPEAKER_1: Look, I've gone through puberty twice.
SPEAKER_1: I know what being 15 twice is like.
SPEAKER_2: We're trans.
SPEAKER_2: We have had the most extended teenage-doms of all time.
SPEAKER_1: Uh-huh, uh-huh.
SPEAKER_1: So the thing that comes with puberty is a lot of cravings.
SPEAKER_1: So to save us from this, do you want to give us your first craving?
SPEAKER_2: So, as we all know, as we all know...
SPEAKER_1: All of us.
SPEAKER_2: All of us know, who have been listening to this podcast, know that I've been on a Star Wars binge, and have been brought up a particular specific craving.
SPEAKER_2: And it is not actually about Star Wars.
SPEAKER_2: It is a more general craving.
SPEAKER_2: You know when, like, a character that you recognize and another character that you recognize, and they're from, like, different things, and then they cross over into the same thing, I don't know why, I love it.
SPEAKER_2: I love it, I crave it.
SPEAKER_2: It, like, gives me a flash of dopamine to be like, oh, I know that character, and I know that character, but they were in different series, and now they're in the same series.
SPEAKER_2: Or, oh, they're in different things.
SPEAKER_2: Because we've also been doing, yeah, me and some friends have also been doing a Godzilla watch, and that's a great one in which, like, the kaiju show up in each other's movies often.
SPEAKER_2: And so, like, it's really just, I love when I see two characters that I recognize and they interact, and I'm like, oh-ho-ho-ho-ho.
SPEAKER_2: I understand that this is basically the thing that Marvel, the Marvel Cinematic Universe has, like, built its fortune on.
SPEAKER_2: And so I recognize that it is a baby, a desire for, it is a baby thing that babies love.
SPEAKER_2: Let me rephrase that.
SPEAKER_1: As a certified baby, I love when people interact with each other.
SPEAKER_1: As a baby, I love watching my parents cross over from their respective genres.
SPEAKER_2: I understand that it is a cheap tactic used by large corporations to get people invested or interested in a thing that by itself isn't very good.
SPEAKER_2: Cough, cough, Avengers movie, all of them.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, arguably, it is also just a thing that widens your target audience like Smash Brothers.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I mean, there's lots of things that do this, and every time something does it, I'm like, yes!
SPEAKER_2: Ha!
SPEAKER_2: I love this.
SPEAKER_2: Now this, oh, love, love this.
SPEAKER_2: And so I recognize that desire in myself, and I crave it.
SPEAKER_2: I crave it often.
SPEAKER_1: A while ago, you told me about a podcast you wanted to do.
SPEAKER_1: Does this come from that podcast?
SPEAKER_2: I guess it.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, I guess, yeah.
SPEAKER_2: We haven't recorded an episode in a bit, and we're still figuring out how exactly we're going to do that.
SPEAKER_2: But yes, there was, yes.
SPEAKER_2: It definitely does fit in that thing in which we were like, hey, me and a friend of mine who maybe this podcast will be released someday, we'll see, basically put characters from different universes, we randomly roll which characters, and then we write a crossover fic with just a bunch of them.
SPEAKER_2: And so it absolutely is, yeah, that desire is in there.
SPEAKER_1: Do you want to speed, I was going to say speed run that right now and see how that goes as a solution to this craving?
SPEAKER_2: God, I don't know how we would do that.
SPEAKER_2: The pool of characters that like me and this other person know are going to be different than the pool of characters that you and me know.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, I'm just going to type in random cartoon character generator.
SPEAKER_1: All right, so you want to know the six characters that I got?
SPEAKER_1: Tell me the six characters you got.
SPEAKER_1: This is the new team.
SPEAKER_1: So of course, at the head of the team is Superman.
SPEAKER_1: We're going back to comic books, you were mentioning Marvel.
SPEAKER_1: I think Superman is where the normal starts and ends, because the next person is Aladdin from Aladdin.
SPEAKER_1: How old is he?
SPEAKER_1: He's a teenage boy.
SPEAKER_1: Just him, just him, not anyone else.
SPEAKER_2: Who else would you need, you know?
SPEAKER_1: Right, well, one other person that we'll need is Jiminy Cricket.
SPEAKER_1: I believe.
SPEAKER_2: I need you to understand that Jiminy Cricket was in fact a character who did in fact come up in one of the first two episodes we recorded.
SPEAKER_1: Well, I'm sorry, Jiminy Cricket is part of this elite squad.
SPEAKER_1: Do you know who else is part of this elite squad?
SPEAKER_1: Lenny and Carl from The Simpsons.
SPEAKER_2: Who the fuck are they?
SPEAKER_2: Really?
SPEAKER_1: Okay, I need to send you an image, clearly.
SPEAKER_2: I've never seen the fucking Simpsons in my life.
SPEAKER_1: Here.
SPEAKER_1: The Simpsons has been around where you will recognize these characters probably.
SPEAKER_2: I can see them.
SPEAKER_2: I see them.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, alright.
SPEAKER_2: I've seen them.
SPEAKER_1: There are people that go to a bar.
SPEAKER_1: Basically, that is their thing, is they go to the bar.
SPEAKER_1: I'm sure there's more.
SPEAKER_1: There's like, what?
SPEAKER_1: 30 seasons of The Simpsons at this point.
SPEAKER_1: I'm sure they've done something else.
SPEAKER_1: Then there's Randy Marsh from South Park.
SPEAKER_2: Oh god.
SPEAKER_1: He was just a father.
SPEAKER_1: And this is possibly my favorite.
SPEAKER_1: Is Ren and Stimpy...
SPEAKER_1: Do you remember Ren and Stimpy?
SPEAKER_2: I never saw it, but I know who Ren and Stimpy are.
SPEAKER_1: I also like never saw it.
SPEAKER_1: It's just, this is like the worst crew.
SPEAKER_1: This is like, this is a boy.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, can we get a fucking Rick and Morty in here or something?
SPEAKER_2: Like, that's what this crew screams to me, is there should be Rick and Morty in here, and there should, I don't know.
SPEAKER_1: Maybe there should be a...
SPEAKER_1: You know how in Rick and Morty, there's more than one Rick or whatever?
SPEAKER_1: I watched it until...
SPEAKER_1: I don't actually remember at one point.
SPEAKER_1: It was amusing until the fandom was...
SPEAKER_2: Like that.
SPEAKER_1: Like that, yeah.
SPEAKER_1: And so, he turns himself into a pickle, famously, at one point.
SPEAKER_2: But also, there's alternate universes.
SPEAKER_1: Yes.
SPEAKER_1: And also, there's just more Ricks.
SPEAKER_1: There's like an old...
SPEAKER_1: There's a council of Ricks.
SPEAKER_1: This is a whole thing.
SPEAKER_1: There's a council of Ricks, and the Rick that the show is based around has been excommunicated from this council of Ricks for being too shitty.
SPEAKER_1: Anyways, what if it was just like that, but with a different character, where it was just all the same character, but from like different...
SPEAKER_1: What if it was just every Mario, from every Mario game?
SPEAKER_1: You know that new Mario coming out, the Mario 3D superstars?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, all stars.
SPEAKER_1: What if it was just you could play Smash Brothers, but it was just every different Mario?
SPEAKER_2: So there is someone right now who is playing through, I believe it's Mario 64, and every single console has been ported to.
SPEAKER_2: And so that's 16 different classes.
SPEAKER_1: Jesus.
SPEAKER_2: What?
SPEAKER_2: And yeah, and it's that's I so yes, absolutely crossover of just every single version of Mario.
SPEAKER_1: I also thinking about Mario 64 just quickly.
SPEAKER_1: I was reminded recently that with the new the new game coming out with Mario 64 on it, I was reminded that there was a re-release with better graphics and more like characters on the 3DS.
SPEAKER_2: Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_2: There was.
SPEAKER_2: Anyways, yeah, the person, by the way, who is doing is doing this thing that I mentioned is Orchestra on Twitch.
SPEAKER_1: To make it interesting for you, what if it was just all of the Darths from Star Wars?
SPEAKER_1: And you know how there can only be one, right?
SPEAKER_1: There can only be one Darth.
SPEAKER_1: What if it was all of them?
SPEAKER_2: There's actually there can only be two.
SPEAKER_1: Right.
SPEAKER_1: The rule of the rule of two.
SPEAKER_1: Right.
SPEAKER_1: But I mean, you know, there can only be one master.
SPEAKER_1: There can only be one apprentice.
SPEAKER_1: What if they were all master?
SPEAKER_1: What if everybody master now?
SPEAKER_2: I mean, here's here's an alternative way to do this crossover.
SPEAKER_2: I have another way to do a crossover.
SPEAKER_2: What if we did character crossovers and it was just different character types that all had to be the same type of character from all these different series just in the thing together?
SPEAKER_2: Like the same like character trope or type, OK, as it appears in different series, right?
SPEAKER_1: Like the nerd or like the coward, the jock.
SPEAKER_2: It's it's that it's like it could be, you know, with the it's the council of the Rick's type thing in which it is every not just every Rick from Rick and Morty, but every character in a thing who is the same character type as Rick.
SPEAKER_1: How do we decide what Rick's case I think is sorry, how do we decide what world they're in?
SPEAKER_2: Oh, they're in the trope world.
SPEAKER_1: The trope world?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, you know, the trope dimension.
SPEAKER_1: Uh-huh, no, I don't know.
SPEAKER_2: It's a dimension we've built exactly for this purpose.
SPEAKER_2: Great.
SPEAKER_2: It's a space between worlds of sorts, in which different tropes, you know, all that's where the tropes come to meet, you know?
SPEAKER_1: They have tea together.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, it's like, if you wanted to make it physical, it's like it's in TV tropes somewhere.
SPEAKER_2: It's somewhere in TV.
SPEAKER_1: It's on the TV trope database.
SPEAKER_2: It's in the TV tropes database.
SPEAKER_2: That's where they meet.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, if you had to get a character type from all the different things that you like, right?
SPEAKER_2: A common character type between them.
SPEAKER_2: What would be the best option and the worst option?
SPEAKER_2: In terms of like, you had to like...
SPEAKER_1: The best one and the worst one are the same because it's the murdered queer from Burry or Gay's Trope.
SPEAKER_1: Because they're all alive now, but also we all know what's going to happen to all of them.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, yes, agreed, though a thing that I've learned in Blaseball recently, maybe necromancy is not a good idea.
SPEAKER_2: Basically, the fans brought a character back from the dead.
SPEAKER_2: Now they've been pitching balls and whenever they hit someone with a ball, that character has a chance of dying, of being incinerated by an umpire.
SPEAKER_2: And so now there's a league wide series of deaths happening because we did a little bit of necromancy.
SPEAKER_2: Anyway, so necromancy is a good idea.
SPEAKER_1: You know that the developers of that were betting on this, right?
SPEAKER_2: Oh, I think they like, at the very least, when they saw the option appear, when they saw that people were trying to make this happen, they did start tweeting, are y'all sure you want to do this?
SPEAKER_2: This is great.
SPEAKER_2: I would like, yeah, okay, I've made a decision.
SPEAKER_2: I would like to bring together all the chosen ones.
SPEAKER_1: Oh my god, that would be insufferable.
SPEAKER_2: It would be absolutely insufferable.
SPEAKER_2: And they would probably destroy each other because they would each be claiming to be the chosen one and be like, no, I'm the chosen one.
SPEAKER_2: No, I'm the chosen one.
SPEAKER_2: And then they'd fight.
SPEAKER_1: God, there's a great I mean, you should have you played wander song?
SPEAKER_2: I've not, but I.
SPEAKER_1: It's a very good video game.
SPEAKER_1: It explores the trope of the chosen one.
SPEAKER_1: Very well done.
SPEAKER_1: But the chosen ones tell me, tell me about why would this scratch you this itch of yours?
SPEAKER_2: Because I don't always want for it to happen like, oh, all the characters come together and they all think each other are rad.
SPEAKER_2: That's fun.
SPEAKER_2: And I like that.
SPEAKER_2: But I also kind of love the idea of all of them being forced to reckon with the fact that they're not the only chosen one.
SPEAKER_2: And I also just think of like, different, just the kind of the different ones and how strange it would be.
SPEAKER_2: I wouldn't want to be there.
SPEAKER_2: I would want to watch it.
SPEAKER_1: So the question comes up, like, who are they chosen by, right?
SPEAKER_1: And for each of them, it's like a different entity of sort.
SPEAKER_1: So do we have to bring in that entity too?
SPEAKER_1: And then like, do these entities, like, what happens with these entities?
SPEAKER_2: What we're now doing is Tazamnesty.
SPEAKER_2: The entities, I don't know, I guess they would.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I guess they would have to fight.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_1: Would they not just merge?
SPEAKER_2: Oh, God.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, here's the thing.
SPEAKER_2: Here's, okay, here's it.
SPEAKER_2: Here's it.
SPEAKER_1: Here's the amalgamation.
SPEAKER_2: All the chosen, this amalgamation, and it will choose one.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, my God.
SPEAKER_2: Of all of the chosen ones.
SPEAKER_1: We've made Hunger Games.
SPEAKER_2: It will choose one of them.
SPEAKER_1: Or the anime that Hunger Games ripped off.
SPEAKER_1: Battle Royale.
SPEAKER_2: No, we've made a really good way to eliminate the chosen one trope forever.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_1: When you get chosen, is it like you fight to the death and you are the chosen one, or is it just like, we're going to put 20 of these chosen ones in a house and like once a week, we're going to vote one contestant off and the final person is the chosen one.
SPEAKER_2: The idea of like a popularity contest for the chosen one is extremely funny because most chosen ones would lose so fast.
SPEAKER_1: I just love, I've never watched like a TMZ Big Brother or whatever show, but I love, I want that format of just like insufferable anime and like cartoon and even like live action heroes and chosen ones.
SPEAKER_2: That would be great.
SPEAKER_2: This is exactly what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_2: You see now, you see now the appeal.
SPEAKER_2: This is the itch.
SPEAKER_2: Listen, it's always cool when it's like, oh yeah, I love this character in there, hang out with this other character.
SPEAKER_2: But I also love when I'm just like, ugh, all these characters are boring to me.
SPEAKER_2: But then they're facing off against each other, and then it's fun.
SPEAKER_2: Sometimes you want to cheer for a winner, and sometimes you want to cheer for a loser.
SPEAKER_1: I can't even think of chosen ones off the top of my head.
SPEAKER_1: Who's in this mix?
SPEAKER_2: Harry Potter.
SPEAKER_1: He's gonna go.
SPEAKER_1: He's gonna go pretty quick.
SPEAKER_1: She-Ra.
SPEAKER_2: Like Adora, I guess.
SPEAKER_1: Both of them.
SPEAKER_1: They are literally both technically chosen ones.
SPEAKER_2: All the chosen ones from Taz Amnesty, of course.
SPEAKER_2: Buffy, I guess.
SPEAKER_2: Is Buffy a chosen one?
SPEAKER_1: Buffy seems like he's been chosen.
SPEAKER_1: Buffy is basically a chosen one.
SPEAKER_1: We can probably construct Super Hoolock, right?
SPEAKER_1: I think they're all chosen by something.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: I think Sherlock probably counts as a chosen one, right?
SPEAKER_1: Sherlock is chosen by the government.
SPEAKER_2: There's definitely been.
SPEAKER_1: He's chosen by fate.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, Anakin Skywalker.
SPEAKER_1: We've constructed the worst TV show imaginable.
SPEAKER_2: I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
SPEAKER_2: This is the best TV show.
SPEAKER_2: I went to the TV shows to pay for the chosen one, and the picture is literally of Katniss Everdeen.
SPEAKER_2: So I guess she's also there.
SPEAKER_2: What?
SPEAKER_1: Is she?
SPEAKER_2: I guess.
SPEAKER_1: She's not really.
SPEAKER_1: She's not chosen one, as in like she's a she's a political figure.
SPEAKER_1: So, yes, she is chosen to be like a symbol.
SPEAKER_1: So she is chosen.
SPEAKER_1: That's also true.
SPEAKER_1: What do you what?
SPEAKER_2: What?
SPEAKER_2: I went to the teacher's choice of chosen one, and I looked at all of the different subheadings, right?
SPEAKER_2: Like anime, manga, comic books, and it was like myths and religion.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, no.
SPEAKER_2: The Bible.
SPEAKER_2: Jesus Christ means Jesus be anointed one.
SPEAKER_2: Christ is anointed.
SPEAKER_2: That's Christ's dialect.
SPEAKER_2: This seems to be applying that Jesus Christ is a chosen one.
SPEAKER_1: It's, he is.
SPEAKER_2: Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_1: He is, though, and he has to be in the Big Brother house.
SPEAKER_1: It's him and Harry Potter and Super Hoolock.
SPEAKER_2: Is Sonic a chosen one?
SPEAKER_2: Sonic's probably a chosen one, right?
SPEAKER_1: I mean, he wasn't in the TV show or the movie.
SPEAKER_1: He was chosen by that owl that was murdered and we never heard from again and got absolutely no backstory on at all.
SPEAKER_2: It's fine.
SPEAKER_2: That'll all come in the second movie.
SPEAKER_2: Sonic the Hedgehog, Two Tails, which I've decided it needs to be named.
SPEAKER_1: That's the name.
SPEAKER_1: If it's not, they're wrong.
SPEAKER_2: If it's not, they're wrong.
SPEAKER_2: Exactly.
SPEAKER_2: Thank you.
SPEAKER_2: And then the third one in the trilogy will be Sonic 3, Sonic and Knuckles.
SPEAKER_2: Sonic and Knuckles.
SPEAKER_1: Sonic 3 Knuckles.
SPEAKER_1: And then Knuckles just holds up three arms.
SPEAKER_2: And then Sonic 4, Shadow.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, every avatar is a chosen one.
SPEAKER_1: Oh my God.
SPEAKER_1: There's literally the Avatar reality TV show.
SPEAKER_2: All of the avatars are there.
SPEAKER_2: So actually, this isn't a real big question of who's going to win if this is a fight because Kyoshi's there.
SPEAKER_2: So like, bye.
SPEAKER_2: What are you going to do if it's fucking Kyoshi?
SPEAKER_1: You're right.
SPEAKER_2: I am right.
SPEAKER_2: I am correct.
SPEAKER_2: She is bye.
SPEAKER_1: I want this Big Brother-esque fucking chosen one show so bad now.
SPEAKER_1: You're right.
SPEAKER_2: You see exactly.
SPEAKER_2: You see it.
SPEAKER_2: Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_1: I think Jesus Christ and Harry Potter are going to hook up at one point, and I'm really excited for the Jesus stans to get upset.
SPEAKER_2: I'm excited for the Harry Potter stans to get upset, who I think at this point are crossing over a lot.
SPEAKER_1: It's a Venn diagram, and it's all bad.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, it's a Venn diagram, and it's all bad.
SPEAKER_2: Right in the middle is just transphobes.
SPEAKER_2: C crossovers.
SPEAKER_2: Talk to me about the crossovers you want to see.
SPEAKER_2: Just anyone who wants to see this crossover.
SPEAKER_2: Let me know.
SPEAKER_2: Let's chat.
SPEAKER_2: I love them.
SPEAKER_2: Clair.
SPEAKER_2: Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_2: Dost thou crave?
SPEAKER_1: I was trying to think of the Shakespearean language to say, I do.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know what that is.
SPEAKER_1: Is it just I?
SPEAKER_2: That's one way to say it.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, I do also is Shakespearean language.
SPEAKER_2: Do you bite your thumb at me, sir?
SPEAKER_1: I do bite my thumb, but I do not bite my thumb at you.
SPEAKER_1: I know that's not the line, but it's my most funny.
SPEAKER_1: It's my favorite thing.
SPEAKER_2: That is the line.
SPEAKER_1: I do bite my thumb, but I...
SPEAKER_1: I remember the exchange, but I always feel like I paraphrase it rather than quote it, because it's one of my favorite things to just make a meme out of.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, there is a little bit more in there of like, is the law on my side if I say that I do?
SPEAKER_2: Anyway, but yes.
SPEAKER_1: Anyways, memes.
SPEAKER_1: Do you crave at me, sir?
SPEAKER_1: I do crave, but I do not crave at you.
SPEAKER_1: So, so fun, fun throwback to earlier, we were talking about being 15 twice.
SPEAKER_1: And one of the things that I feel like, like isn't really talked about.
SPEAKER_1: And my craving is the acknowledgement of the effects of puberty within queer communities from both intercommunity and a governmental like view, because brain different.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, that's a biggin, that's a biggin.
SPEAKER_2: Do you want to say more about that and what you mean by that?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, so one thing, and I do specifically, you know, acknowledge that not every trans person is going to go through HRT and that also that at this point, some cis people do and have and then have like realized it's not for them and we have like, you know, there's now a term called detransing or detransitioning.
SPEAKER_1: And that's a whole thing.
SPEAKER_1: That's hard to like, you know, I think this discussion is going to evolve as this becomes hopefully easier to acknowledge.
SPEAKER_1: But I think the effects of how taking hormones is basically going through puberty again and anyone who has finished puberty and being like, wow, I'm so glad I never had to do that again.
SPEAKER_1: I definitely feel like going through puberty a second time made me realize what was part of puberty and what was just me because I now had two data points in terms of like different parts of my life.
SPEAKER_1: Certain aspects does come from like big feelings, like feelings get very intense in a way that is just hard to describe.
SPEAKER_1: But you don't have to because most people know what you mean when you say puberty creates big feelings.
SPEAKER_1: The hardship comes from when you're experiencing this and you have to pay rent and you have to work a job or you have to do post-secondary or you are facing financial, living hardships, et cetera, et cetera.
SPEAKER_1: And then on top of that, within the community at least, and this is why I say intercommunity, is I don't want to use the word drama because it belittles what is actually happening, but there is a lot of trauma that ends up as individuals, we bring into our communities and then we end up having to process and sometimes inadvertently process that in unhealthy ways that resulted in putting more trauma into said communities that we are a part of.
SPEAKER_1: And this ends up causing hardships, people disliking each other.
SPEAKER_1: Sometimes solutions just not being able to be arrived at and sometimes solutions not willing to be arrived at.
SPEAKER_1: I want to make a very big distinction there.
SPEAKER_1: And mostly I want to focus on the latter one.
SPEAKER_1: There are divisions, there are tears, another word for fractures, you know?
SPEAKER_1: And what it ends up doing is overall, sucks.
SPEAKER_1: And so my craving is I want to be able to have this language that acknowledges this and helps us get through these things and develop systems to give us a way to help each other with this, while still acknowledging that sometimes things just cannot be, like some breaks cannot be unbroken.
SPEAKER_2: I think about this a lot, not just in terms of puberty, which I think is impactful, but I think there's other things also definitely at play here, right?
SPEAKER_2: Like, I don't think that in general, to be trans in our society a large amount of the time is inherently traumatic, in which you live for very many years and feel off and don't understand what's going on and don't really know what the hell is up with you.
SPEAKER_2: And then you figure it out, and then you transition, and that often makes you marginalized in a huge way and can induce a lot of different traumas in a lot of different ways.
SPEAKER_2: And so, like, there's all of that on top of being...
SPEAKER_2: going through puberty again, being hormonal, and trying to learn in general what your life is going to be like at this point.
SPEAKER_2: And trying to do that in community with other people who are also going through similar things.
SPEAKER_2: It's rough.
SPEAKER_2: How do you develop trust in an environment where all of you are traumatized because you've been betrayed by a lot of people and by society at large for having transitioned or just in general for being trans?
SPEAKER_2: It's tough.
SPEAKER_2: And I feel like in general, there does need to be a little bit more just of an acknowledgement that these processes are difficult and that it's going to put you in a difficult position and that you will not, cannot, and should not have to be kind of perfect and have everything figured out from the jump.
SPEAKER_1: And just like to really hone in on the specifics of the craving surrounding hormones and whatnot and the puberty effects of this and how it's very hard to have discussions in the same way, not that it can't happen, because much of my learning in terms of radical politics came during puberty, my second puberty, but the ways that I interacted with discussions was from a place of intense feelings and often resulted in inability to have certain conversations.
SPEAKER_1: Just to get a little personal, there was like a year or two that I cut my parents out of my life because I could not have conversations with them.
SPEAKER_1: And you know, it's still hard, it still sucks, but I at least can acknowledge why they are like this way.
SPEAKER_1: And it hurts, but it doesn't hurt the same way.
SPEAKER_1: And so I can still be in the same room is like the difference to me, versus asking my father to literally leave was a thing I had to do once, because I could not physically be in the same room with him.
SPEAKER_1: Like, it's just the intensity.
SPEAKER_1: And as someone, I truly believe that, you know, learning comes from conversations, and often when we're upset at someone, we say, well, why didn't you Google this?
SPEAKER_1: And I agree that a lot of research has to come.
SPEAKER_1: You do have to research things, but a lot of learning comes from communication, comes from conversation, and this is my belief and whatnot.
SPEAKER_1: I think that intersection of that and these conversations becoming more challenging to navigate at least puts a roadblock in the way.
SPEAKER_1: And I think acknowledging that roadblock is the first step to making it over and really going through these hard conversations, which is all to say, from a government perspective, I mean, we don't have to think about the government perspective, but I think just in short, we treat minors differently, not always for the better legally.
SPEAKER_1: I think sometimes there needs to be an understanding of how puberty affects us as adults.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_2: It's difficult with government because there's always, whenever you ask the government to help you, what they do is criminalize you or crack down or become more normal.
SPEAKER_2: Like, as a person on disability in which I have an income cap on the amount of income I'm allowed to earn while receiving disability benefits, I hear you be like, oh, yeah, maybe there needs to be an acknowledgement of the ways in which we are on a governmental level and the ways in which puberty affects us as adults.
SPEAKER_2: And alarm bells start going off in my head.
SPEAKER_2: It's tough.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I don't trust.
SPEAKER_1: You're right, because I don't trust the government to do that.
SPEAKER_1: I guess what I'm saying is I want a government that I can trust to do that.
SPEAKER_1: Because I think, I guess just to go off of a story of mine, like working alongside, within tech, there is a ton of misogyny.
SPEAKER_1: And not to even touch the trans misogyny, there's just a ton of misogyny.
SPEAKER_1: And to have these very intense feelings and acknowledge this, working alongside real adults who you expect better from, because you are like a young adult who has been told to respect authority in my case, there is a power struggle there in terms of your feelings and the acknowledgement of what they are doing is right.
SPEAKER_1: And the times that I have spoken up at work, I have always been burned.
SPEAKER_1: Always.
SPEAKER_1: And at least in technology, there is this faux friendship that is sort of pushed upon employees of like, trust your boss, trust your workers or like your family, etc.
SPEAKER_1: etc.
SPEAKER_1: And so you should be able to talk to them.
SPEAKER_1: I have had trust issues, and I still always continue to trust people for some reason.
SPEAKER_1: It is as much a flaw as it is a power for me.
SPEAKER_1: It has burned me because I have.
SPEAKER_1: I have listened to them and I have trusted them, and it has burned me.
SPEAKER_1: And so I think I can navigate that easier now, just again, reflecting my own personal experiences because this I imagine is different, because puberty is different for everybody.
SPEAKER_1: And that's a thing that we have to also acknowledge as adults.
SPEAKER_1: Anyways, and those are just my thoughts.
SPEAKER_1: I think puberty as adults, puberty within trans community, the way puberty changes the way that we interact and communicate and whatnot as adults specifically, is just not considered within conversations.
SPEAKER_1: I think in a lot of our conversations, we consider the way that being trans affects us.
SPEAKER_1: But what about the way that being trans and pubescent affects us?
SPEAKER_1: What about that axis?
SPEAKER_1: I just want to be like, hey, look, there's another axis to consider.
SPEAKER_1: That's all I'm saying.
SPEAKER_2: The thing that I will say is I've always found it incredibly difficult and honestly nigh impossible for me to separate the impacts of puberty on a biological level and the impacts of transition on a social level, right?
SPEAKER_2: Like, I think a lot about one of the things that I think is, one of the things that I think can happen when you talk about puberty in trans faces is a weird bio-essentialism.
SPEAKER_2: The idea that trans men, when they start testosterone, become more angry, more violent, more aggressive, that sort of thing.
SPEAKER_1: From my experience, is wholly untrue.
SPEAKER_2: Wholly untrue, and I think in a lot of cases where it is true, or at least it is perceived to be true, it is as much about that, or even less about that, as it is about having a different sort of relationship to manhood in which you are, on a kind of social level, more easily able to access that manhood.
SPEAKER_2: It's always complicated when you're trans in terms of what can you actually access of your gender, but there is a difference in the recognition, in people seeing you in a particular way, and what you're allowed to do because of how you're seen.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I mean, there's always the perception versus existence.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_2: And I think it's similar with trans women in which, I think a lot about one of the things that I know I experienced and that I know is very common among trans women is you get a lot more emotional, and your emotions have a lot more depth and feel a lot stronger and more significant.
SPEAKER_2: So it's very common for it to be like, oh, yeah, you're just gonna cry a lot and be really emotional on hormones.
SPEAKER_2: And often that is true.
SPEAKER_2: And I think on the one hand, to me, that is definitely the effects of puberty, and it is also definitely the effects of feeling more connected to your body and less just completely dissociated all the time and being able to feel a deeper sort of joy and a deeper sort of sadness and just in general deeper emotions because you feel more connected to yourself and to your body.
SPEAKER_2: And so it's difficult to disentangle puberty from those impacts as well.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, and I mean, it's difficult to detangle it from the social impact and just going back to your very specific point of connecting with your feelings of the social growing up, at least in like, I want to assume that people have different experiences and this isn't going to be true for everyone, hopefully.
SPEAKER_1: But for me and for a lot of people, the idea of like, boys don't cry growing up, the idea of like, do not connect with your emotions because that is weakness.
SPEAKER_1: And the thing is, I was never taught that.
SPEAKER_1: I am like one of the exceptions where my father specifically did not, like was not like that.
SPEAKER_1: Well, I learned that from my peers.
SPEAKER_1: Being punched in the face and then crying and being told I'm a slur, you know?
SPEAKER_1: That, that, it's like, oh, you punched me in anyways.
SPEAKER_1: It's the social aspect on top of all.
SPEAKER_1: It's impossible to detangle this stuff because it is unique among individuals, which is another thing that is, you know, hard to talk about it in terms of like the idea of trans men being quote unquote more aggressive and then ironically trans women being quote unquote more aggressive as well is an individual thing.
SPEAKER_1: It's not like, it's never going to be a general thing.
SPEAKER_1: There are going to be aggressive individuals.
SPEAKER_1: And like any population, eventually you are going to get unaggressive trans men, unaggressive trans women, as like, and those narratives, you know, will emerge.
SPEAKER_1: The problem is when those are pushed as the norm and the generalization.
SPEAKER_2: Yes.
SPEAKER_1: Anyways.
SPEAKER_2: On a related note, I think in general, you know how we all have like really difficult and cringey times when we are going through our first puberty and we're like tweens or whatever, and we are just like trying to figure out how to do gender stuff and trying to figure out how to do in general what looks and vibes we want to give off.
SPEAKER_2: I think we also, we should just chill out.
SPEAKER_2: I think we should also get like a secondary exploratory period when we kind of start just to coincide with that puberty.
SPEAKER_2: We can all just like take a couple of years to figure out how to do makeup maybe if we want to.
SPEAKER_2: If we don't want to, we don't have to.
SPEAKER_2: But I just think that we deserve to have just that period of time where it's just like, it's all, you know, whatever.
SPEAKER_1: We're all learning.
SPEAKER_2: And then we kind of the other side and we're all good.
SPEAKER_1: Freedom of expression.
SPEAKER_2: Freedom of expression, but also just generally freedom to...
SPEAKER_1: Freedom to not be judged.
SPEAKER_2: Freedom to not be judged for not being very good at things traditionally associated with your gender, allowing just a no judgment learning period for all of us, I think would just be great.
SPEAKER_2: I think we could all use that.
SPEAKER_1: It's less about freedom and more about developing empathy in general.
SPEAKER_2: Fuck, dude.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, yeah.
SPEAKER_2: And compassion, not just empathy, but also compassion.
SPEAKER_1: Yes.
SPEAKER_1: Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_2: Anyway, yeah, I agree.
SPEAKER_2: Definitely agreed.
SPEAKER_1: Do you have a fun craving like this one we just did?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I have one.
SPEAKER_2: I have a craving.
SPEAKER_2: So I'm in a lot of games, a tabletop game.
SPEAKER_1: You're a gamer.
SPEAKER_2: And yeah, I'm sort of a gamer.
SPEAKER_2: And all of my friends work nine to five during the weekdays.
SPEAKER_2: Or not all of them, but a lot of them do, including you, who I'm in a lot of games with.
SPEAKER_2: And I'm kind of running out of weekends.
SPEAKER_2: So like, I just need some more weekends so that I can play more frequently.
SPEAKER_2: If I could just get more weekends, because here's the thing, Clair, you and I together are in like three campaigns.
SPEAKER_2: And I don't know if you're aware, but there's only two days in a weekend.
SPEAKER_2: And playing more than one game in a day is just not going to happen.
SPEAKER_2: So like, I think we could at least one more day.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, okay, Clair, do you want to play all three campaigns in a weekend, every weekend?
SPEAKER_2: I mean, I do too, honestly.
SPEAKER_2: It's just 12 hours.
SPEAKER_2: Here's the thing, I want so desperately to be...
SPEAKER_2: I love to play games, and I want to just be playing games all the time.
SPEAKER_2: But it's, yeah, we are limited by the fact that a lot of people work pretty substantial hours.
SPEAKER_2: And so in a way, what I'm asking for is more weekends for tabletop games.
SPEAKER_2: And in a way, what I'm also craving is just in general more leisure time and less time spent working and laboring.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, you reminded me.
SPEAKER_1: I was like, oh, right, I'm playing games this weekend.
SPEAKER_1: I have two games, right?
SPEAKER_1: No, I'm playing three games this weekend.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, uh-huh.
SPEAKER_2: No, but this is the fucking thing.
SPEAKER_2: It's like we, because we are in so many games together and because we want to play those games often, it's like, okay, which game are we playing this weekend?
SPEAKER_2: Okay, that one, cool.
SPEAKER_2: Let's do another one also the next day.
SPEAKER_2: And then, okay, and then we'll do the other one the next weekend.
SPEAKER_2: And it's just a mess.
SPEAKER_2: Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, the thing is, I'm only in one game with you this weekend.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, but look at the next weekend, which is our other two.
SPEAKER_1: Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_1: I am playing five tabletop, different, from different, like, just completely different tabletop stories in the span of, like, seven days.
SPEAKER_1: I guess nine.
SPEAKER_2: Yes, exactly.
SPEAKER_1: That's how weekends work.
SPEAKER_1: We need more weekends.
SPEAKER_2: You're right.
SPEAKER_2: In the span of seven days, it's within four days, is that correct?
SPEAKER_1: Right.
SPEAKER_2: Within...
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, four days total.
SPEAKER_2: Within the span of, like, yeah, five games in four days, and that's your entire weekends.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, and then I work nine to five, or realistically, like, 830 to five.
SPEAKER_2: This is what I'm saying, Clair.
SPEAKER_2: We need more time when people aren't working.
SPEAKER_2: Also, just because, like, I don't...
SPEAKER_2: I don't work nine to five.
SPEAKER_2: I don't work at all right now because my job's on hold because of COVID.
SPEAKER_2: And just, like, y'all are never around.
SPEAKER_2: So could y'all just...
SPEAKER_2: So could we just, like, get more weekends so I can, like, hang out with y'all more?
SPEAKER_2: That would be great.
SPEAKER_2: I'm, like, very, you know, I'm open, really.
SPEAKER_2: I truly am.
SPEAKER_2: So how are we getting more weekends?
SPEAKER_1: Are we adding a new day?
SPEAKER_1: Are we, like, creating week starts?
SPEAKER_1: Are we doing all the weekends, like, together and then sort of just tackling the weekdays all at once?
SPEAKER_1: Like...
SPEAKER_2: There's always who needs sleep, right?
SPEAKER_2: Like, we could just do some condensing with...
SPEAKER_1: Just drink coffee.
SPEAKER_1: Tabletop RPGs at, like, midnight to 4 a.m.
SPEAKER_1: Work, like, four hours later.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_2: This is what I'm saying, right?
SPEAKER_2: It's like, who needs...
SPEAKER_2: We don't need sleep.
SPEAKER_2: As a species, we don't need sleep.
SPEAKER_2: And any biological evidence or studies that have been done is wrong, because we just don't.
SPEAKER_1: Just in general.
SPEAKER_2: Just in general, we don't need sleep.
SPEAKER_2: So why do we do it?
SPEAKER_2: Why do we have it?
SPEAKER_2: What if we didn't have sleep?
SPEAKER_2: And we could just condense stuff down.
SPEAKER_1: Five reasons why scientists have been lying to you and that you don't need sleep.
SPEAKER_1: The results will surprise you.
SPEAKER_1: Click here.
SPEAKER_2: Alternatively, what if we simply advocated for more leisure time and less work hours in a week?
SPEAKER_1: The weekend was a labor movement, like back a long time ago.
SPEAKER_1: So we just need a new labor movement.
SPEAKER_2: Labor movement too, baby.
SPEAKER_2: Let's do it.
SPEAKER_1: Labor-to-ment.
SPEAKER_2: So yeah, labor-to-ment.
SPEAKER_2: Here's the fun, 10 fun tips.
SPEAKER_2: Unions.
SPEAKER_2: That's my first tip.
SPEAKER_1: Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_2: Tip number two.
SPEAKER_1: Tip number two.
SPEAKER_1: Union Buster Busters.
SPEAKER_2: Union Buster Busters.
SPEAKER_2: Now we're talking.
SPEAKER_2: Tip number three.
SPEAKER_2: Big business.
SPEAKER_2: Kill them.
SPEAKER_1: Rip them apart.
SPEAKER_2: Just start tearing apart big businesses and divvy that shit up.
SPEAKER_2: And that's three of the 10 tips that the rest are behind a paywall.
SPEAKER_2: The rest are behind a paywall.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, go subscribe.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, go subscribe.
SPEAKER_2: That's a thing that we could do, is we could just advocate for more weekends, because people aren't productive.
SPEAKER_2: Productivity caps at a certain point, and also fuck productivity, fuck capitalism.
SPEAKER_1: I was gonna say fuck monarchy.
SPEAKER_1: Fuck capitalism and monarchy.
SPEAKER_1: To be honest, capitalism is a kind of monarchy.
SPEAKER_1: You're right, it's monarchy with extra steps and time.
SPEAKER_2: That is always what it was intended to be.
SPEAKER_1: Right, I think productivity for productivity's sake, fuck that, but I do, I think productivity for community's sake is a good thing.
SPEAKER_1: You know, was it Karl Marx?
SPEAKER_1: It was like a hundred years ago, the prediction was in a hundred years, humans are going to be working like two hours a day because of the amount that technology will grow.
SPEAKER_1: We won't have to do labor anymore.
SPEAKER_1: And what we have instead done is we've become so good at being efficient that we have just found ways to construct more ways of being efficient by putting the efficiency into being more efficient.
SPEAKER_1: It's a vicious cycle that like I literally was talking to a coworker about today, which is wild that I even talked to my coworkers about this shit and that they are receptive.
SPEAKER_1: But you know, I never learn.
SPEAKER_2: Infinite growth, baby.
SPEAKER_1: Infinite growth.
SPEAKER_1: It's the, it's a, what's that cube theory of like time cube?
SPEAKER_1: Do you know time cube?
SPEAKER_2: Can you tell me a little bit more about time cube?
SPEAKER_1: God, I hope it's time cube.
SPEAKER_1: I have to Google, okay, time cube.
SPEAKER_1: Is this a thing still?
SPEAKER_1: Time cube is gone.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, fucking no.
SPEAKER_1: So to go to the Wikipedia page for time cube, time cube was a personal web page founded in 1997 by the self-proclaimed wisest man on earth, Otis Eugene Jean Ray.
SPEAKER_1: It was a self-published outlet for Ray's theory of everything called time cube, which polemically claimed that all modern sciences are participating in a worldwide conspiracy to teach lies by omitting his theory's alleged truth that each day actually consists of four days occurring simultaneously.
SPEAKER_1: It is the best fucking thing ever.
SPEAKER_1: I'm so sad that it's gone.
SPEAKER_1: It is so fucking funny.
SPEAKER_1: Like, you should just read the Wikipedia page.
SPEAKER_2: Well, there is this screenshot of it.
SPEAKER_2: There is this screenshot of it, which says...
SPEAKER_2: Can I read this?
SPEAKER_2: Can I read out this screenshot?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, please.
SPEAKER_1: It's the best shit.
SPEAKER_2: Earth has four corner, simultaneous four day time cube in only 24 hour rotation.
SPEAKER_2: Four corner days, cubes, four quad Earth.
SPEAKER_2: No one day God.
SPEAKER_2: Free speech in America is bullshit.
SPEAKER_2: Evil educators block and suppress www.timecube.com.
SPEAKER_2: You are educated evil, and might have to kill the evil one teaching educators before you can learn that four corner days actually exist, but all cube truth denied.
SPEAKER_2: Dumb ass educators fear me and hide from debate, which is me in academia all the time.
SPEAKER_1: Yo, I figured out the solution.
SPEAKER_1: We just need the time cube, because then we can do four days every day of the weekend.
SPEAKER_1: Yo, eight days of the weekend, it's time cube.
SPEAKER_1: It's the best fucking solution.
SPEAKER_2: This is great.
SPEAKER_2: God.
SPEAKER_2: Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_2: Shout out to dumb ass educators, fear me and hide from debate.
SPEAKER_2: Time cube, four sides.
SPEAKER_1: If you like conspiracy theories and like laughing at conspiracy theories, just to be clear, it is the best.
SPEAKER_1: You know, you gotta read the work of the quote unquote wisest man on earth.
SPEAKER_2: You know what?
SPEAKER_2: This is the sort of philosophy we need, right?
SPEAKER_2: Because like back in the day, we had Karl Marx.
SPEAKER_2: And Marx was like, he's kind of old.
SPEAKER_2: And people are now starting to read some of this stuff and be like, man, this guy's kind of old.
SPEAKER_2: And they're starting to notice that some of this stuff doesn't seem to be relevant the same way, and he was kind of colonialist.
SPEAKER_2: And so that kind of sucks.
SPEAKER_2: And so we kind of need someone new.
SPEAKER_2: And so I think we need...
SPEAKER_1: We need Otis Eugene Jean Ray, who's going to lead us into the glorious cube.
SPEAKER_1: I'm so excited to play four RPGs at once on all these extra days.
SPEAKER_2: Please, please.
SPEAKER_2: I need it, I need it.
SPEAKER_2: Listen, an RPG within an RPG, within an RPG within an RPG, I bet that exists.
SPEAKER_2: If not, I'm going to make it.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, I'm excited.
SPEAKER_1: Sometimes I just remember Time Cube, and I have to go back.
SPEAKER_1: I'm so sad that it was taken down.
SPEAKER_1: No, the website domain just expired.
SPEAKER_1: That's even sadder.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, but you can get to it by the way back machine.
SPEAKER_1: So we're all good.
SPEAKER_2: Well, with Time Cube behind us, in front of us, and occurring at the same time twice.
SPEAKER_1: Oh my god, sorry.
SPEAKER_1: I just want to read this part.
SPEAKER_1: Ray spoke about Time Cube at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in January 2002 as part of a student-organized extracurricular event during the independent activities period.
SPEAKER_1: He repeated his $10,000 offer for professors to disprove his notions at the event.
SPEAKER_1: None attempted it.
SPEAKER_2: Damn.
SPEAKER_1: I just want to see him be like, look, they're not even trying.
SPEAKER_1: It's all a conspiracy.
SPEAKER_2: This to me is the ultimate debate me.
SPEAKER_2: It is, right?
SPEAKER_2: That's what that is.
SPEAKER_1: Fucking debate me.
SPEAKER_1: Disprove that there are four days in one day.
SPEAKER_1: I dare you.
SPEAKER_2: Maybe we don't need Ray.
SPEAKER_2: Just kind of looking at the reception page.
SPEAKER_2: I don't think we need Ray.
SPEAKER_2: I don't know that we need Time Cube, but we can laugh at him for sure.
SPEAKER_1: So I guess like Time Cube, this podcast has four sides.
SPEAKER_1: And so.
SPEAKER_1: And I want to share.
SPEAKER_1: Now I am just sharing a general Google Image search with you because I didn't there wasn't a one best image to share.
SPEAKER_2: I'm glad you're sharing an image on this podcast.
SPEAKER_1: Don't worry, because I'm just going to tell you the name as well that you can Google.
SPEAKER_1: If you Google the LG U Plus smartphone, you will get an image of the best phone that was never created because my craving is for the drone phone.
SPEAKER_2: What the fuck is this?
SPEAKER_1: It's the drone phone, Brianna, by LG.
SPEAKER_1: It was never created.
SPEAKER_1: By the looks of it, it was going to cost $60,000, and you can't imagine why it wasn't created.
SPEAKER_2: God.
SPEAKER_2: Is this what people who thought the selfie sticks were cringy, but still wanted to use them needed?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, almost certainly.
SPEAKER_1: Right?
SPEAKER_1: Like this is the, oh, I don't want to do a selfie stick.
SPEAKER_1: I'm too cool for that.
SPEAKER_1: I'm going to have a drone take photos of me instead.
SPEAKER_1: And like, I thought about this because I was like, oh, you know the logical, like, if drones get cheaper, drones are great for cameras and nothing else.
SPEAKER_1: There's no other reason to use a drone.
SPEAKER_1: And so I was like, oh, well, you know how like phones are basically have taken over the like, people don't buy cameras anymore.
SPEAKER_1: People just use their phones.
SPEAKER_1: The next thing is the drone phone.
SPEAKER_1: And then I googled drone phone and I found this, and I was so happy that someone had attempted to do it.
SPEAKER_1: Also, it just looks like shit.
SPEAKER_1: It looks like a GPU because they just put the fans in the middle of the phone.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, it does.
SPEAKER_2: It looks like the fucking fan portion of it.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, it looks like a GPU.
SPEAKER_2: Absolutely.
SPEAKER_2: This is so fucking stupid.
SPEAKER_2: I love it.
SPEAKER_2: This is what we've always wanted, right?
SPEAKER_2: Mm hmm.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: And I was thinking about this because like we play, well, like my campaign is sci-fi and I was like, what would this planet that is hyper capitalist, what would they have, right?
SPEAKER_1: What would celebrity ticians, which is the term that we came up with, celebrity politicians, no inspiration whatsoever from real life, how would they go around acting?
SPEAKER_1: And it's like, well, of course, they'd all have drone phones, you know, filming their life 24 seven.
SPEAKER_2: I feel like it's probably hover phones, right?
SPEAKER_2: That's probably the thing.
SPEAKER_1: What is the difference between a hover phone and a drone phone?
SPEAKER_2: Well, the drone phone.
SPEAKER_2: Now, here's the difference.
SPEAKER_2: A drone phone flies through the use of a propeller or something along those lines, right?
SPEAKER_2: It like that type of thing.
SPEAKER_2: Something that's like a hover phone floats through.
SPEAKER_1: Uh huh.
SPEAKER_2: It's different.
SPEAKER_2: It uses technology that we've not developed yet, but definitely exists.
SPEAKER_2: Hover technology, as we know, one day we're going to discover that sort of thing, energy type thing that just makes it really easy for everything to just float.
SPEAKER_2: It's on every crate in Star Wars.
SPEAKER_2: It's on all things in everywhere, and it's just the hover stuff.
SPEAKER_1: Brianna, how do you know those crates aren't drones?
SPEAKER_2: There's no propellers on them.
SPEAKER_1: Have you ever seen the bottom of a Star Wars crate?
SPEAKER_2: You know the fuck I have, yes.
SPEAKER_2: Listen, I watch so much Star Wars.
SPEAKER_2: I've seen every part of that crate.
SPEAKER_1: I really want a drone phone because it is the only good thing that I can think of for drone technology to become.
SPEAKER_2: I think we could make a stupider design also.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_2: I was thinking...
SPEAKER_1: You know how phones used to have antennas, right?
SPEAKER_1: We need to bring antennas back, but at the end of those antennas, just a circle appears and a propeller.
SPEAKER_1: Those just go on the four corners of your phone, and now you have a four-corner drone phone, which admittedly would probably work better than this atrocity.
SPEAKER_2: It probably would.
SPEAKER_2: Because the thing is, right, you need to also be able to get it at certain angles, right?
SPEAKER_2: To really take good selfies.
SPEAKER_1: You need to be able to turn the phone on all axes.
SPEAKER_2: I think there's one kind of further step that we need to really make this product, which is you need to be able to control it with your mind.
SPEAKER_2: Because no one wants to carry around a big joystick thing to control it.
SPEAKER_1: Because what is even the point then?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, what's even the point then?
SPEAKER_2: So what you need is a mind link so that you can just make it go wherever you want it to go and take pictures.
SPEAKER_2: Is there anything else that you think this phone needs to be the perfect drone phone?
SPEAKER_1: I mean, I just think it needs to be really fast, right?
SPEAKER_1: I was thinking about drone photography and drone videos and how smooth they are.
SPEAKER_1: One of the things is truly how smooth those videos look.
SPEAKER_1: I guess there needs to be some shake resistance.
SPEAKER_1: The drone phone is earthquake resistant.
SPEAKER_1: It's a flying type.
SPEAKER_1: It's a flying and steel type, and it's immune to ground.
SPEAKER_2: Somehow I feel like there should be a drone phone.
SPEAKER_2: Sometimes I somehow I feel like there should be a drone phone, Pokemon, like Rotom should have a drone phone.
SPEAKER_1: Rotom is a drone.
SPEAKER_1: Rotom flies around.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, yeah, I guess he just does that.
SPEAKER_2: But I think he needs a propeller.
SPEAKER_2: Give Rotom a propeller.
SPEAKER_1: You want to un-hover Rotom.
SPEAKER_1: You want to you want to give Rotom a propeller.
SPEAKER_2: It's meant to be.
SPEAKER_2: It's just mostly cute.
SPEAKER_2: It's like a little one of those little propeller caps.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, that is cute.
SPEAKER_1: I can see that.
SPEAKER_1: What if the phone had a hat?
SPEAKER_1: Also, I do want to just say, what if we made birds that were phones?
SPEAKER_2: There's so many things that I also, because my brain was also just, what about a Rotom themed phone, which I would love.
SPEAKER_2: I want that.
SPEAKER_2: Two things.
SPEAKER_2: First thing, of course, the phone has a hat.
SPEAKER_2: Yes, absolutely.
SPEAKER_2: That's one of the cool accessory things that customize things, right?
SPEAKER_1: You could put a hat on a bird pretty easily.
SPEAKER_2: You can put a hat on a bird pretty easily.
SPEAKER_2: And here's the thing, Clair.
SPEAKER_2: As we all know, birds aren't real.
SPEAKER_1: Birds aren't real.
SPEAKER_1: They're all just already cameras.
SPEAKER_1: Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_2: They are cameras.
SPEAKER_1: We just need access.
SPEAKER_2: They're taking videos of us.
SPEAKER_2: COVID was a conspiracy so that they could take their opportunity to change the batteries in the birds.
SPEAKER_2: This is the thing we all know.
SPEAKER_1: B-b-b-bird, bird, bird, bird, bird is a drone.
SPEAKER_1: B-b-b-bird, bird, bird, bird is a drone.
SPEAKER_2: So really what we need, I think the first step here, rather than, oh, how would we build a drone phone?
SPEAKER_2: We need to capture a bird before it is replaced with a flesh bird.
SPEAKER_2: Well, we need to capture a bird, and we need to ensure it isn't replaced with a flesh bird because that's what the government does.
SPEAKER_2: If, God forbid, something happens to a bird, and you're like, oh, okay, well, I guess I better do something about this or whatever, right?
SPEAKER_2: And it's bleeding or injured or something like that.
SPEAKER_2: It's because the government has come by in the moment that you looked away and has replaced that bird, the mechanical bird, with a flesh bird.
SPEAKER_1: So birds are real.
SPEAKER_1: They're all controlled by the government as well.
SPEAKER_1: The bird supply is in demand.
SPEAKER_2: So yeah, so there's fake birds and real birds, and the real birds are kept in government warehouses like Area 51, whereas the fake birds are all out and about doing surveillance, right?
SPEAKER_1: We need to make sure that the bird demand goes up so high that the bird supply can't meet up.
SPEAKER_2: Exactly.
SPEAKER_1: Then we'll catch one, for real.
SPEAKER_2: It's incredibly simple.
SPEAKER_2: In order to create a drone phone, we simply need to increase the bird supply.
SPEAKER_1: The bird demand, please, simple economics.
SPEAKER_2: The bird demand, sorry.
SPEAKER_2: Increase the bird demand and we will get a fucking drone phone.
SPEAKER_2: It's simple economics.
SPEAKER_1: Simple birdonomics.
SPEAKER_2: So how do we increase people's desire for birds?
SPEAKER_1: We give them little hats with propellers on them.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Then everyone will want a bird, will be watching all the birds, be like, look at all these birds with hats.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, we just need to glue hats.
SPEAKER_1: Don't do this to every bird.
SPEAKER_2: Which admittedly would be a lot easier with a drone.
SPEAKER_1: So we're going to get a drone.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, so here's the plan.
SPEAKER_2: We're going to get a simple.
SPEAKER_2: Very simple.
SPEAKER_1: We just get a drone that can like put hats on every bird.
SPEAKER_2: Here's the steps.
SPEAKER_2: We get drones which can put hats on birds.
SPEAKER_2: We use the drone to put hat on birds to increase the bird demand.
SPEAKER_2: Then there will be so many birds that they'll have to let us capture one of the mechanical birds, and then we can study the mechanical bird to make a drone phone.
SPEAKER_1: And then we saw the drone phone.
SPEAKER_1: It's simple.
SPEAKER_1: Wait, what?
SPEAKER_2: Well, that's with the drone phone.
SPEAKER_2: We can use the drone phone to put more hats on more birds and increase the bird demand even further so we can make more drone phones.
SPEAKER_1: This is a great business strategy.
SPEAKER_2: We were talking about infinite growth earlier.
SPEAKER_2: I found it.
SPEAKER_2: I found how to infinitely grow.
SPEAKER_1: Do you think there are infinite birds?
SPEAKER_1: There has to be, right?
SPEAKER_2: I mean, there's probably a large amount of birds.
SPEAKER_2: Our strategy kind of relies on the fact that there aren't infinite birds.
SPEAKER_2: We do need a limit to the amount of birds so that they do have to start running out of birds.
SPEAKER_1: We need a very large supply of hats.
SPEAKER_1: Who do you think will sell a million, billion hats?
SPEAKER_1: There's probably a lot of birds.
SPEAKER_1: Where should we start?
SPEAKER_1: What place has a lot of birds?
SPEAKER_2: I'm gonna Google a simple phrase.
SPEAKER_2: How many birds are there in the world?
SPEAKER_1: You'll probably get an answer.
SPEAKER_2: 400 billion.
SPEAKER_1: We simply give every person, we give every single person 50 hats.
SPEAKER_2: So, okay, here's what this site is saying for the amount of birds.
SPEAKER_2: About 10 years ago, two scientists decided to estimate the total number of birds on the planet.
SPEAKER_2: I'm glad two people did it.
SPEAKER_2: The number that came up was 200 to 400 billion individual birds.
SPEAKER_1: Compared to 5 billion people, this amounts...
SPEAKER_2: Sorry?
SPEAKER_1: That's a big margin of error.
SPEAKER_2: But here's the thing.
SPEAKER_2: This means compared to 5 billion people, which I guess it was at the time that this was taken, this amounts to about 40 to 60 birds per person.
SPEAKER_2: Now, we know there's more people now, and probably less birds if we're being completely honest.
SPEAKER_2: And so, like, let's say it's more like 20 to 40 birds per person.
SPEAKER_2: That's really doable.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I mean, we just have to get...
SPEAKER_1: Everyone picks up 20 hats, and you just go to the nearest bird, and you put a hat on the bird.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, and we will find all of them.
SPEAKER_1: We will get all of them.
SPEAKER_1: Inevitably, that is how the pigeon hole principle works.
SPEAKER_1: Eh?
SPEAKER_2: Eh?
SPEAKER_1: We gotta put the hats on the pigeons and the pigeon hole.
SPEAKER_2: This is a good plan.
SPEAKER_2: I like this plan.
SPEAKER_1: You know, birds don't have to wear masks.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, we're gonna think my crippled ass is a fucking COVID denier because of this bit that you've thrown us into.
SPEAKER_1: Birds understand that Margaret Mananza has a message that she wants to spread, and it's that you can go down to Margaret Mananza's anti-mask Mananza, and you can subscribe to Salt Cravings, or follow us at Salt Cravings on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
SPEAKER_2: And it'll tell you what else Margaret Mananza spreads.
SPEAKER_2: Nothing else, because COVID is fake.
SPEAKER_2: But what she does spread is the word through...
SPEAKER_2: What she does spread is the word through leaving ratings and reviews on her podcast platform of choice.
SPEAKER_1: Just go right, birds are fake.
SPEAKER_2: Just go right, birds are fake.
SPEAKER_2: Listen, if you're like, I wanna leave a review, but I don't know what words to say.
SPEAKER_2: Just right, birds are fake.
SPEAKER_2: Five stars.
SPEAKER_1: Nobody's going to listen to this stupid podcast.
SPEAKER_2: What else do we say?
SPEAKER_1: You could give us money.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know why you would at this point.
SPEAKER_1: I think better yet, you could go donate to black and indigenous trans women across the country.
SPEAKER_1: There's probably something I'm forgetting.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, submit.
SPEAKER_2: Hey, if you want to hear, if you want your voice heard, if you want your voice heard on this whole bonanza, simply submit a craving to us at submissions at saltcravings.com, and we will read it no matter what it says.
SPEAKER_2: That's a guarantee.
SPEAKER_2: We'll read it no matter what.
SPEAKER_2: Word for word, we'll say every single word, and guaranteed because we believe in freedom of speech, freedom of expression, and that means repeating what everyone, what a person tells you to say, and repeating it word for word, because if you don't, you hate free speech, and you hate Margaret Mananza.
SPEAKER_1: Welcome down to Margaret Mananza's Anti-Masked Mananza.
SPEAKER_1: We're giving out free nudes now.
SPEAKER_2: Come grab your favorite bird and have it take pictures of your new form down at Margaret Bonanza's anti-mask bonanza.
SPEAKER_1: We have a variety of hats and a variety of birds.
SPEAKER_2: And absolutely no masks.
SPEAKER_2: That one had some of the weirdest energy, I think, in recent memory.
SPEAKER_2: We really got conspiratorial, that one.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, look, it kinda worked.
SPEAKER_2: Kinda worked, we had the time cube in there, we had the birds are fake in there.
SPEAKER_1: We truly just did all the conspiracies.
SPEAKER_2: Well, we didn't do all of them, we didn't talk about how the moon landing's fake.
SPEAKER_1: Or how the aliens built the pyramids.
SPEAKER_1: It truly is amazing how many conspiracy theories are just racism.
SPEAKER_2: It's kind of incredible.
SPEAKER_2: It makes you think that maybe the core of a lot of these things is in fact an inability to believe in systemic racism.
SPEAKER_2: Weird.
SPEAKER_1: Wow, I like as I continued reading the time cube reception, cause I was like, oh no, what have I skimmed over at VIST?
SPEAKER_1: I'm assuming you were reading the 2004 editorial in the main campus, students' news body remarked upon what it called the site's subtle little racist ideologies, which culminated to Ray describing racial integration as the quote unquote destroying all of the races.
SPEAKER_1: Yikes.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, that was why I was like, okay, we need to eject to this one.
SPEAKER_1: Oh yeah, I read that and I was like, oh, we need to leave now.
SPEAKER_1: I did not, didn't know about this.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, no more, no more, no more Time Cube.
SPEAKER_2: No more Time Cube.
SPEAKER_1: Now we're doing Time Sphere.