WEBVTT 00:00:24.802 --> 00:00:29.182 Hello, and welcome to Salt Cravings, the podcast where we talk about our cravings. 00:00:29.202 --> 00:00:30.182 My name's Clair. 00:00:30.582 --> 00:00:31.942 And my name's Brianna. 00:00:32.362 --> 00:00:34.642 And today we have a special guest with us. 00:00:34.662 --> 00:00:37.222 Everyone give it up for Elliot Page. 00:00:38.722 --> 00:00:45.562 Now, Elliot has told me before coming on stage, in the stage in which we record on, that he is a little stage shy. 00:00:45.582 --> 00:00:50.062 I know it's very weird, but a lot of people in Hollywood are actually very stage shy. 00:00:50.322 --> 00:00:52.002 It's a weird phenomenon. 00:00:52.262 --> 00:01:00.602 Now, I've promised Elliot that I would walk him through the space that we record on and meet all the other trans people in existence. 00:01:00.622 --> 00:01:03.842 So Elliot, if you just follow us right through this way. 00:01:04.622 --> 00:01:07.982 Now, first to our left, I'd like you to look over there. 00:01:08.182 --> 00:01:11.982 Yes, you'll see Caitlyn Jenner and Buck Angel. 00:01:12.002 --> 00:01:13.222 That's the shame corner. 00:01:13.242 --> 00:01:15.162 You don't want to end up in the shame corner. 00:01:15.182 --> 00:01:21.822 Now, if you'll follow me a little further down, yes, yes, that one's a special place of honor. 00:01:21.822 --> 00:01:23.702 That one's called Super Cancelled. 00:01:23.722 --> 00:01:25.342 We reserve that for contour points. 00:01:25.582 --> 00:01:32.782 Now, if you'll continue a little further just at the end of this hallway, this is the free zone for everybody. 00:01:32.902 --> 00:01:34.182 Everyone is welcome to come here. 00:01:34.202 --> 00:01:39.282 Now, please ignore the line that does say excommunicated from your community. 00:01:39.382 --> 00:01:40.722 It's a sort of a free space. 00:01:40.742 --> 00:01:41.682 You can just think of it. 00:01:43.342 --> 00:01:45.702 You can think of it as a fun lounge, you know. 00:01:45.942 --> 00:01:46.962 Anyway, have fun. 00:01:47.382 --> 00:01:47.882 Enjoy. 00:01:48.502 --> 00:01:58.502 We do need to go record a show, and you aren't quite as helpful for a radio podcast, so we'll come pick you up in 20 to 30 minutes. 00:01:59.482 --> 00:02:00.562 You good with the playtime? 00:02:00.582 --> 00:02:01.322 Great, great. 00:02:01.322 --> 00:02:03.302 All right, Brianna, how are you doing? 00:02:03.882 --> 00:02:05.262 I'm doing great. 00:02:05.282 --> 00:02:13.982 You know, I'm so glad that we did get to record in this trans-focused space, you know, where all of the trans people are. 00:02:14.002 --> 00:02:22.022 It's like, it's sort of like all trans people can astral project into the space that we record in. 00:02:22.482 --> 00:02:24.062 We're astral projecting right now. 00:02:25.802 --> 00:02:32.582 You know, it was surprising to me that Elliot Page is so, like, has a lot of stage fright, which is totally fair, understandable. 00:02:32.602 --> 00:02:33.962 But then I started to look it up. 00:02:33.982 --> 00:02:44.242 And did you know, actually, they had to record Juno in, always in multiple different spaces, because both Elliot Page and Michael Cera are stage shy. 00:02:44.622 --> 00:02:49.842 And so they ended up having to record that in kind of two separate rooms. 00:02:49.982 --> 00:02:52.482 And so there's this kind of awkward aura. 00:02:52.502 --> 00:02:58.502 And let me tell you, that sort of tactic became very useful recently, obviously, with COVID and everything. 00:02:58.522 --> 00:03:10.162 That's actually how they recorded the Destiel revelation in Supernatural, because Jensen Ackles refused to be in the same room as a gay love confession. 00:03:10.262 --> 00:03:14.502 So it's a really good tactic that Hollywood likes to use a lot. 00:03:14.522 --> 00:03:16.622 And yeah, Juno was the innovator on that one. 00:03:17.322 --> 00:03:23.302 And that's why the awkward auras there, not the incredible well, and also the incredible performances. 00:03:23.722 --> 00:03:27.042 But yeah, that's a little Hollywood fun fact for you. 00:03:27.442 --> 00:03:28.902 Just a little behind the scenes. 00:03:28.922 --> 00:03:33.262 Yeah, you know, you come to Salt Cravings for all the deep cuts into Hollywood. 00:03:33.282 --> 00:03:35.402 We're kind of the pros on that stuff. 00:03:35.642 --> 00:03:48.742 And now we're gonna shift over from Hollywood to Holliday as we talk about the holiday season, the time of the year. 00:03:48.762 --> 00:03:55.342 It is, you know, as they say in that one Christmas song, Christmas comes this time each year. 00:03:57.142 --> 00:04:01.142 That's my favorite holiday song, is because that's all they say. 00:04:01.162 --> 00:04:03.222 That's, you know, a good one. 00:04:03.242 --> 00:04:04.742 It sure does, yeah. 00:04:04.742 --> 00:04:06.822 Christmas comes, Hanukkah comes. 00:04:07.222 --> 00:04:08.162 It is the time. 00:04:08.542 --> 00:04:16.562 There was perhaps a multiple interpretations on whether we should do a holiday episode this episode. 00:04:18.822 --> 00:04:21.662 I would say that there was a variety of interpretations. 00:04:23.042 --> 00:04:26.182 Do you mean interpretations or do you mean opinions? 00:04:26.822 --> 00:04:29.562 Yes, I would say, well, opinions are so strong. 00:04:29.582 --> 00:04:32.922 It's such a strong and aggressive word, and I don't want to come off as... 00:04:32.942 --> 00:04:34.222 Is having an opinion aggressive? 00:04:34.542 --> 00:04:35.662 Yes, absolutely. 00:04:35.942 --> 00:04:43.202 It's extremely aggressive and morally and ethically wrong to have an opinion. 00:04:44.142 --> 00:04:50.202 Hey Brianna, cheese is bad, specifically Parmesan. 00:04:52.702 --> 00:04:54.522 Yeah, that's extremely aggressive. 00:04:55.322 --> 00:04:59.302 I'm gonna have to put you over in the super canceled zone for that. 00:04:59.322 --> 00:05:01.682 Darn, I gotta hang out with Contra points. 00:05:01.702 --> 00:05:03.262 I don't even know what to talk about. 00:05:03.282 --> 00:05:04.982 I'm sure there's lots to talk about. 00:05:05.002 --> 00:05:07.762 Go on our YouTube channel. 00:05:07.782 --> 00:05:12.082 I'm gonna talk about how being canceled actually made me better than everybody else. 00:05:12.542 --> 00:05:13.562 That's a good idea. 00:05:13.582 --> 00:05:14.762 That's a very good idea. 00:05:14.782 --> 00:05:19.142 Especially when you're canceled for your cheese opinions, which you definitely hold. 00:05:21.642 --> 00:05:28.242 But yes, we are, at my insistence, doing a holiday episode because I said we had to. 00:05:28.682 --> 00:05:31.282 Um, haha, owned. 00:05:33.662 --> 00:05:34.702 Fucking got me. 00:05:34.722 --> 00:05:36.282 No scoped. 00:05:36.302 --> 00:05:38.742 360 no scope holiday season. 00:05:38.762 --> 00:05:41.302 Yeah, 2020 is like done. 00:05:41.422 --> 00:05:42.622 It's like over. 00:05:42.742 --> 00:05:45.082 We went through all of 2020. 00:05:45.302 --> 00:05:45.822 Almost. 00:05:45.922 --> 00:05:46.882 We got one more. 00:05:46.962 --> 00:05:48.862 One more in us after this one. 00:05:49.262 --> 00:05:51.482 When this comes out, we'll be in the midst of Hanukkah. 00:05:51.802 --> 00:05:56.182 So, you know, if you're listening to this, go fry up some latkes. 00:05:56.462 --> 00:05:57.302 Happy Hanukkah. 00:05:57.902 --> 00:05:59.742 Yeah, and eat a bunch of oily food. 00:05:59.762 --> 00:06:01.742 That's really the best part of Hanukkah. 00:06:01.782 --> 00:06:03.402 It's really the only part of Hanukkah. 00:06:03.422 --> 00:06:04.442 It's not the only part. 00:06:04.582 --> 00:06:07.682 Listen, what more do you need than oily food and singing? 00:06:07.722 --> 00:06:09.022 I think that's a way to live. 00:06:09.382 --> 00:06:13.302 Those two things definitely don't ever come and don't clash ever. 00:06:13.322 --> 00:06:15.382 Why would they clash? 00:06:15.742 --> 00:06:21.662 Well, you know, they don't, because obviously grease never impacts like your singing voice and stuff. 00:06:22.302 --> 00:06:23.542 It's like lubricant. 00:06:23.962 --> 00:06:25.462 Drink the oil lube. 00:06:25.822 --> 00:06:28.182 Sponsored oil lube, Salt Cravings brand. 00:06:28.842 --> 00:06:30.722 It's only $29.99. 00:06:30.742 --> 00:06:31.982 Go to the Salt Cravings store. 00:06:32.022 --> 00:06:33.202 We have a store. 00:06:33.682 --> 00:06:34.602 Oh, my God. 00:06:35.942 --> 00:06:36.622 Nightmare. 00:06:36.642 --> 00:06:40.562 Um, it just makes me feel bad. 00:06:40.922 --> 00:06:42.282 All of that makes me feel bad. 00:06:42.402 --> 00:06:45.762 You get stickers for $9.99 for two stickers. 00:06:46.402 --> 00:06:48.242 Pins are $15. 00:06:50.142 --> 00:06:52.062 That's the truth of the battle. 00:06:52.082 --> 00:06:53.442 The enamel ones are $30. 00:07:00.522 --> 00:07:01.962 I will do it just to spite you. 00:07:03.182 --> 00:07:04.062 You want to see me die? 00:07:04.082 --> 00:07:04.462 All right. 00:07:06.802 --> 00:07:08.322 Damn, she really did it, folks. 00:07:09.042 --> 00:07:10.122 Mad woman out here. 00:07:10.142 --> 00:07:15.022 I was revived by the spirit of the holidays. 00:07:15.042 --> 00:07:17.662 Deathsteel has succumbed into you. 00:07:24.382 --> 00:07:27.202 I'm the ghost of Christmas canceling. 00:07:27.222 --> 00:07:29.082 I can cancel anyone on Christmas now. 00:07:29.522 --> 00:07:31.022 Do you want to give me a craving? 00:07:31.442 --> 00:07:33.042 I would love to give you a craving. 00:07:33.082 --> 00:07:34.482 So this year... 00:07:34.502 --> 00:07:37.782 But really, I've had it for a while. 00:07:37.802 --> 00:07:40.422 It's just like this year is particularly poignant. 00:07:40.802 --> 00:07:44.382 I really want to do holiday gatherings with friends. 00:07:45.162 --> 00:07:47.042 And obviously, we can't do that right now. 00:07:47.302 --> 00:07:56.722 But in general, I think every year, you know, getting the chance to go hang out with friends and everyone brings a food and you do a whole potluck thing. 00:07:56.802 --> 00:08:00.802 And you do maybe a Secret Santa thing or whatever else. 00:08:01.182 --> 00:08:02.542 That is living to me. 00:08:02.662 --> 00:08:04.362 That is holiday to me. 00:08:04.942 --> 00:08:06.262 And I want it. 00:08:06.282 --> 00:08:07.582 I need it. 00:08:07.602 --> 00:08:09.122 I can't have it. 00:08:09.642 --> 00:08:15.882 We are doing a fun Christmas thing in our house, but it's really going to be for the two of us, obviously. 00:08:16.482 --> 00:08:21.802 But yeah, we're making a whole bunch of food and stuff, but it would be nice to be able to see other folks. 00:08:22.342 --> 00:08:24.222 That's my craving for this year. 00:08:24.622 --> 00:08:26.082 Cool, fun and easy. 00:08:26.322 --> 00:08:32.382 Well, we've already invented so many ways to see each other during the pandemic. 00:08:32.422 --> 00:08:34.142 Right, but how? 00:08:34.162 --> 00:08:35.042 Private island. 00:08:35.702 --> 00:08:36.022 Right. 00:08:36.042 --> 00:08:38.962 But here's the thing. 00:08:39.102 --> 00:08:44.402 The most important thing is we need to be able to bring food and all eat the food that we've all brought, you know? 00:08:46.302 --> 00:08:47.242 I know how to do this. 00:08:48.082 --> 00:08:51.242 We got to ask Santa for immunity, immortality. 00:08:51.262 --> 00:08:53.182 We're going to become immortal. 00:08:53.202 --> 00:08:57.462 You can't die to COVID if you're immortal. 00:08:57.722 --> 00:08:58.522 That's proven. 00:08:58.542 --> 00:09:04.602 Ho, ho, ho, by my name, thy shall not die. 00:09:06.842 --> 00:09:11.882 Santa comes in, eats your cookies, waves his magic wand, and turns you into a god. 00:09:12.202 --> 00:09:16.822 Then you kill Santa, eat his cookies, and that's the end. 00:09:17.242 --> 00:09:21.402 It's the scene at the beginning of Orlando, which is a fantastic movie, by the way. 00:09:21.702 --> 00:09:36.142 It's the scene at the beginning where Queen Elizabeth is like, you can have this house, but on one request, you may not fade, do not grow old like I have done, stay young forever, and it happens. 00:09:36.262 --> 00:09:39.402 So if Queen Elizabeth can grant that power, Santa definitely can. 00:09:39.902 --> 00:09:42.342 Well, why don't we just go to the Queen? 00:09:42.822 --> 00:09:43.922 She's still alive. 00:09:43.942 --> 00:09:47.502 That's definitely the same Queen. 00:09:47.842 --> 00:09:49.762 They're related by blood, aren't they? 00:09:50.242 --> 00:09:52.062 They have the same magic powers. 00:09:52.082 --> 00:09:59.562 That's a bold assertion, that the royal family is enough of a coherent and complete line like that. 00:09:59.962 --> 00:10:01.522 Yeah, totally. 00:10:01.902 --> 00:10:03.722 A few of them are moving to Vancouver. 00:10:03.762 --> 00:10:04.562 We're good. 00:10:04.822 --> 00:10:10.722 We're just gonna go, like, sit in on their house and take their stuff until they make us immortals. 00:10:11.082 --> 00:10:11.742 Are they, like... 00:10:12.302 --> 00:10:13.442 Is this a vampire thing? 00:10:13.462 --> 00:10:14.322 Are they vampires? 00:10:15.322 --> 00:10:15.902 Oh, damn. 00:10:15.922 --> 00:10:17.582 I was thinking it was a wizard thing. 00:10:17.622 --> 00:10:19.442 What if they're wizard vampires? 00:10:19.722 --> 00:10:20.302 Liches. 00:10:20.502 --> 00:10:22.202 The thing you're thinking of is liches. 00:10:22.782 --> 00:10:24.922 So welcome to the royal lich family. 00:10:25.702 --> 00:10:27.642 We'd like to introduce you to our... 00:10:28.312 --> 00:10:28.312 . 00:10:28.312 --> 00:10:29.562 summoning circle. 00:10:29.782 --> 00:10:31.022 Please stand within it. 00:10:31.182 --> 00:10:40.082 So we'll go to the lich royal family, and then we'll say, hey, can you make us all immune to the virus and in general just immortal? 00:10:40.482 --> 00:10:43.742 And they'll be like, yes, we can, but at a terrible cost. 00:10:44.262 --> 00:10:45.522 And we'll be like, okay, whatever. 00:10:46.642 --> 00:10:48.322 We've all paid it probably by now. 00:10:48.562 --> 00:10:49.882 We've all probably paid it. 00:10:50.302 --> 00:10:59.462 And then it turns out that the terrible cost is that we can no longer openly criticize the monarchy, which is indeed the most terrible cost of all. 00:10:59.962 --> 00:11:01.022 I guess it's too late to go. 00:11:01.042 --> 00:11:02.362 I already agreed. 00:11:02.382 --> 00:11:04.222 Yeah, I also already agreed. 00:11:04.322 --> 00:11:04.922 Oh, what? 00:11:05.222 --> 00:11:05.962 I can't control. 00:11:06.122 --> 00:11:07.482 Oh, the monarchy is good, actually. 00:11:07.502 --> 00:11:07.922 Oh, no. 00:11:08.782 --> 00:11:10.142 We should keep the monarchy. 00:11:10.162 --> 00:11:15.742 Kings and queens did nothing wrong. 00:11:15.762 --> 00:11:17.382 I like that the queens have our money. 00:11:17.402 --> 00:11:21.862 I like that we have money. 00:11:21.882 --> 00:11:23.942 That's not even about the monarchy. 00:11:23.942 --> 00:11:25.322 I don't know what's happening. 00:11:26.102 --> 00:11:31.462 Slowly, you become not only a monarchist, royalist, you become. 00:11:41.562 --> 00:11:42.242 A monarchist. 00:11:47.462 --> 00:11:49.482 This is a terrible cost that we've paid. 00:11:49.782 --> 00:11:51.782 But we can have holiday gatherings. 00:11:51.882 --> 00:11:57.262 Then we can at that gathering not talk about how much we hate the queen. 00:11:57.282 --> 00:11:59.122 We actually invite her. 00:11:59.462 --> 00:12:00.722 We actually invite her. 00:12:01.222 --> 00:12:02.942 She has to come to every party. 00:12:02.962 --> 00:12:08.442 It's like, I am the one who gave you immunity, you know. 00:12:08.462 --> 00:12:12.342 I am the source from which all of it flows. 00:12:13.762 --> 00:12:18.582 She just occasionally zaps you with her finger, like a bad 80s movie. 00:12:18.822 --> 00:12:20.042 Yes, exactly. 00:12:20.362 --> 00:12:21.762 We should have gone to Santa Claus. 00:12:21.782 --> 00:12:25.122 I bet Santa Claus's terrible cost would have been less bad. 00:12:25.242 --> 00:12:27.982 What do you think Santa Claus's terrible cost for mortality is? 00:12:28.482 --> 00:12:30.922 You have to become an elf for a century. 00:12:30.942 --> 00:12:33.102 How do you think he gets his elves? 00:12:36.282 --> 00:12:44.022 I like that it's a short term, you know, in the long season, it is a contract basis. 00:12:44.122 --> 00:12:45.342 You're not an elf forever. 00:12:45.342 --> 00:12:47.182 You're an elf for like a century. 00:12:47.202 --> 00:12:48.262 For a hundred years, yeah. 00:12:48.282 --> 00:12:49.642 Which sucks, for sure. 00:12:49.682 --> 00:12:52.402 But like, after that hundred years, you're free. 00:12:52.422 --> 00:12:53.822 That's true, that's true. 00:12:53.842 --> 00:12:55.422 It's just like Friends of the Table. 00:12:55.542 --> 00:12:57.322 It's just like Order or Nope. 00:12:57.522 --> 00:12:58.962 It's just like movement. 00:12:59.442 --> 00:12:59.962 Motion? 00:13:00.382 --> 00:13:00.882 Motion. 00:13:01.602 --> 00:13:03.102 It's not quite like motion. 00:13:03.182 --> 00:13:06.622 I don't think Santa Claus kills you at the end of a hundred years. 00:13:07.022 --> 00:13:09.162 But you're immortal with Santa Claus. 00:13:09.522 --> 00:13:10.122 So you're fine. 00:13:10.142 --> 00:13:11.402 That's true, that's true. 00:13:11.582 --> 00:13:13.322 What does it entail to be an elf? 00:13:13.682 --> 00:13:16.122 Do you grow the elf ears organically? 00:13:16.162 --> 00:13:17.262 Is that a part of the thing? 00:13:17.782 --> 00:13:28.122 It's sort of like a werewolf thing, but instead of happening every full moon, it just sort of happens at the start where like your ears just pop out. 00:13:28.142 --> 00:13:30.442 I mean, I've had surgery. 00:13:30.462 --> 00:13:32.122 This is like basically the same. 00:13:32.142 --> 00:13:34.862 Yeah, and then a hat grows on your head. 00:13:34.882 --> 00:13:36.242 It's not removable. 00:13:36.462 --> 00:13:38.342 No, I didn't expect it to be. 00:13:38.362 --> 00:13:39.942 That's one of the perks. 00:13:39.962 --> 00:13:40.942 You can walk on ice. 00:13:41.042 --> 00:13:44.702 That is, you know, with the fancy shoes that your feet grow. 00:13:46.742 --> 00:13:48.402 Can you at least like choose? 00:13:48.422 --> 00:13:51.282 Because I would like the hat to kind of look like Link. 00:13:51.302 --> 00:13:53.702 I think it'd be fun to be like, yeah, I'm an elf, but I'm also Link. 00:13:54.642 --> 00:14:00.842 Yeah, Link is actually based on a real life story where someone actually saw one of the elves try to escape. 00:14:01.242 --> 00:14:11.542 So is this a different story than the story of Rudolph, the Red Nose Reindeer, which an elf escapes, or the story of elf in which an elf like leaves because he's not? 00:14:12.622 --> 00:14:14.222 I mean, yeah, no, it's the same story. 00:14:14.242 --> 00:14:17.802 Not a lot of people know that Epona is actually an anagram for Rudolph. 00:14:23.282 --> 00:14:25.542 Tell me your fucking craving, we're done here. 00:14:25.562 --> 00:14:33.682 Well, maybe we can use the same solution, because my craving is visiting my parents. 00:14:34.002 --> 00:14:39.362 I haven't seen my mother in almost a year at this point, and that would be nice. 00:14:39.602 --> 00:14:41.042 You know, I'm really missing her. 00:14:41.062 --> 00:14:47.522 I really, you know, even texted her, like, what if I just came and worked there? 00:14:47.542 --> 00:14:53.642 That means that it's kind of like a long-term thing, and that, you know, it just sort of moved my bubble. 00:14:54.282 --> 00:15:02.682 But then I realized I would be able to do that for about two weeks tops before being like, I need to leave, I need to go. 00:15:03.622 --> 00:15:09.882 So my craving is, you know, visiting my parents, but not live, not moving back in with my parents. 00:15:11.262 --> 00:15:11.762 Fair. 00:15:11.962 --> 00:15:26.862 Well, I think we should come up with some other solutions, because, you know, there might be people not willing to pay a terrible cost for their immortality, which like wimps, but like, I think we need to at least give those people an option as well. 00:15:27.702 --> 00:15:29.702 So are there like shorter term? 00:15:29.722 --> 00:15:33.042 Because some people, I guess some people probably don't want to become like immortal. 00:15:33.062 --> 00:15:39.662 They just want to like momentarily be able to like visit and spend time with people over the holidays. 00:15:40.242 --> 00:15:49.102 Yeah, if I've become immortal and then spend a hundred years making presents, I'm going to come back and nobody I know is going to be the same. 00:15:49.702 --> 00:16:00.062 So what I think I need is just a short term solution to visit my parents for just like a weekend safely. 00:16:00.082 --> 00:16:02.102 So you know the hazmat suits, right? 00:16:04.802 --> 00:16:08.342 What if you were to create super hazmat suits? 00:16:09.902 --> 00:16:10.862 How is it different? 00:16:13.142 --> 00:16:16.362 Well, hazmat suits, I think stuff can still get in there. 00:16:16.382 --> 00:16:18.522 It doesn't seem perfectly sealed to me. 00:16:20.082 --> 00:16:21.082 You could wear them? 00:16:21.122 --> 00:16:22.042 Okay, all right. 00:16:22.342 --> 00:16:27.542 The super hazmat suits have a hundred percent hole free. 00:16:27.562 --> 00:16:34.622 They also, radiation can't get through there, unlike hazmat suits, which we know radiation gets immediately through there. 00:16:36.242 --> 00:16:39.982 And super hazmat suits, nothing, not radiation. 00:16:40.022 --> 00:16:42.282 As we know, COVID is a radiation-based disease. 00:16:42.682 --> 00:16:50.702 So the thing about these super hazmat suits is they are perfect. 00:16:50.802 --> 00:16:54.922 Nothing gets in, nothing gets out. 00:16:54.962 --> 00:16:56.462 Now, the only issue is air. 00:16:56.562 --> 00:17:01.702 That is the sort of one problem we found. 00:17:02.022 --> 00:17:08.982 That's one little thing that we just need to still figure out with the super hazmat suits is how to make sure air gets in there. 00:17:09.442 --> 00:17:14.442 We based it off the old Godzilla suit, which was partially made out of concrete. 00:17:15.902 --> 00:17:26.762 And the person in the suit would regularly collapse because of smoke being also sent kind of around because of just like, you know, to show smoke of the destruction. 00:17:26.782 --> 00:17:27.802 This is a thing that happened. 00:17:27.822 --> 00:17:29.062 They would regularly pass out. 00:17:29.082 --> 00:17:33.162 They would have to have the suit removed from them. 00:17:33.462 --> 00:17:36.302 So that is the slight issue we have been having. 00:17:36.322 --> 00:17:37.882 Can I poke holes in it? 00:17:38.742 --> 00:17:39.242 Oh, you know what? 00:17:39.262 --> 00:17:40.282 That's a great idea. 00:17:40.442 --> 00:17:42.082 Hey, why didn't we just poke holes in it? 00:17:42.462 --> 00:17:43.822 What do you mean? 00:17:43.842 --> 00:17:46.402 No, the COVID can't tell. 00:17:46.422 --> 00:17:48.442 It's a radiation. 00:17:48.462 --> 00:17:50.082 It can't go through holes. 00:17:51.362 --> 00:17:53.302 Radiation's like big. 00:17:53.322 --> 00:18:00.642 I think that could work, but it might get annoying to wear the Super Hazmat suit your entire time there, you know? 00:18:01.122 --> 00:18:02.542 Yeah, do I have to wear it to bed? 00:18:02.562 --> 00:18:05.602 To be safe, yeah, absolutely. 00:18:05.622 --> 00:18:06.762 It's the only way to be safe. 00:18:06.782 --> 00:18:09.602 God, does it come with a bed installed? 00:18:10.062 --> 00:18:10.622 It could. 00:18:10.742 --> 00:18:11.462 We could do that. 00:18:11.482 --> 00:18:12.542 Hey, can we do that? 00:18:13.502 --> 00:18:15.042 I'm hearing that we could do that. 00:18:15.442 --> 00:18:16.502 Who are you asking? 00:18:17.402 --> 00:18:18.942 The, you know, the... 00:18:20.002 --> 00:18:21.362 I'm running this business. 00:18:23.262 --> 00:18:24.362 I have a business now. 00:18:24.382 --> 00:18:31.482 As established last time, we made whatever the fuck that last product was, nostalgia goggles. 00:18:33.242 --> 00:18:34.082 We did that. 00:18:34.442 --> 00:18:35.042 They... 00:18:35.622 --> 00:18:37.002 Love the idea so much. 00:18:37.222 --> 00:18:43.262 No, yeah, the sales of that one, people seemed concerned about possible side effects. 00:18:43.762 --> 00:18:45.282 I don't know why they would be concerned. 00:18:46.022 --> 00:18:49.022 Yeah, so we said, you know, we'll never have side effects. 00:18:49.502 --> 00:18:52.262 Perfectly contained outfit. 00:18:52.302 --> 00:18:54.842 And we could do a bed in there, right? 00:18:54.862 --> 00:18:56.322 Mm-hmm. 00:18:56.522 --> 00:18:57.422 Yeah. 00:18:57.442 --> 00:18:58.482 I don't see why not. 00:18:58.722 --> 00:18:59.422 Yeah. 00:18:59.742 --> 00:19:02.622 They're shaking their heads, but I don't think they know what they're talking about. 00:19:02.642 --> 00:19:07.762 That could work, you know, have a bed in there, maybe. 00:19:07.782 --> 00:19:09.802 And also eating would be the other thing. 00:19:10.322 --> 00:19:11.282 So like, what if... 00:19:11.302 --> 00:19:11.882 Yeah. 00:19:12.402 --> 00:19:14.042 So we'll need a kitchen in there as well. 00:19:14.062 --> 00:19:16.162 We'll have a kitchen in the suit. 00:19:16.922 --> 00:19:17.502 And then... 00:19:17.522 --> 00:19:18.862 Wait, a whole kitchen? 00:19:19.342 --> 00:19:19.862 Yeah. 00:19:19.882 --> 00:19:21.642 Brianna, we're describing a house. 00:19:22.062 --> 00:19:25.302 Thanks for fucking cutting off the joke at the fucking pass. 00:19:29.902 --> 00:19:30.902 No, keep going. 00:19:30.922 --> 00:19:35.242 Build up to the punchline, and I'll say it again for everybody. 00:19:36.042 --> 00:19:44.262 Have you considered just getting a mobile home and driving out there, just living in the mobile home, and y'all could just look at each other through the windows? 00:19:44.282 --> 00:19:45.102 Through the windows. 00:19:45.502 --> 00:19:45.882 Yeah. 00:19:45.902 --> 00:19:47.922 You know, that's not a terrible idea. 00:19:47.942 --> 00:19:57.522 We can just sort of send carrier pigeons to each other, as pigeons are a very clean animal and have never spread any diseases. 00:19:57.902 --> 00:20:03.262 And as we know, messenger pigeons are still around, definitely. 00:20:03.422 --> 00:20:05.582 They're just on the ground and they eat shit now. 00:20:06.702 --> 00:20:09.862 Definitely the same breed of pigeon, for sure. 00:20:10.722 --> 00:20:11.382 They're all the same. 00:20:11.562 --> 00:20:13.542 All animals are the same, if you name them the same. 00:20:14.642 --> 00:20:18.482 This is why I name all my cats the same name, so I know that they're the same cat. 00:20:19.022 --> 00:20:20.142 Uh-huh, uh-huh. 00:20:20.402 --> 00:20:22.022 That's Maine, Maine, Maine, Maine. 00:20:25.162 --> 00:20:30.922 I'm pretty happy with this idea of just sort of looking at my parents through a window. 00:20:31.002 --> 00:20:33.882 So how about you give me your next craving? 00:20:34.362 --> 00:20:39.142 I remain desperate for a good gay holiday movie. 00:20:39.782 --> 00:20:41.882 And the good is important here. 00:20:42.662 --> 00:20:46.342 Because as we know, Happiest Season came out, and it stinks. 00:20:46.362 --> 00:20:47.402 I have not seen this movie. 00:20:47.422 --> 00:20:48.282 Does it? 00:20:48.302 --> 00:20:48.842 Is it bad? 00:20:49.842 --> 00:20:51.422 Generally, the consensus is... 00:20:51.422 --> 00:20:54.302 So, okay, so here's my background with these types of movies. 00:20:54.322 --> 00:20:55.702 I like watching lots of gay movies. 00:20:56.042 --> 00:20:58.982 I've watched ones that I think are so bad, they're good. 00:20:59.262 --> 00:21:05.222 I think The Perfect Wedding is a so bad, it's good Christmas movie. 00:21:05.722 --> 00:21:11.642 And then I've also seen a holiday movie called Lesbom, which is technically a Thanksgiving movie. 00:21:11.982 --> 00:21:12.802 And it's bad. 00:21:12.982 --> 00:21:16.282 It's as bad as the name seems like it would be. 00:21:16.542 --> 00:21:20.002 And it is basically the exact same plot as Happiest Season. 00:21:21.282 --> 00:21:41.582 The plot is of Happiest Season, also of Lesbom, is broadly one partner on the car ride to her parents' place tells her girlfriend that she's not out to her parents and her girlfriend is gonna have to pretend to be her, like, straight roommate the entire time. 00:21:41.602 --> 00:21:42.282 It's a bad story. 00:21:42.342 --> 00:21:42.722 What? 00:21:43.062 --> 00:21:46.482 Yeah, they've done it multiple times as a movie. 00:21:46.502 --> 00:21:48.122 Yeah, it's a trope. 00:21:48.502 --> 00:21:49.622 It's a trope, yeah. 00:21:49.642 --> 00:21:58.322 And so Lesbom was that, and I watched Lesbom and hated it so much that when it was revealed happiest season was that I was like, I'm not gonna watch this movie unless it's super good. 00:21:58.362 --> 00:22:05.642 And everyone who's watched it, I've heard basically be like, it's super bad, super white, and not a good time. 00:22:05.642 --> 00:22:07.022 It just, like, makes you feel bad. 00:22:07.502 --> 00:22:12.402 So I remain in need of a good holiday movie. 00:22:12.962 --> 00:22:35.162 One holiday movie that I watched either a year ago or two years ago, the, I believe it was either the Holiday Prince or the Christmas Prince, whatever the fuck Prince, the whole premise is, like, royalty is good, actually, and as we are legally obligated to only ever say good things, I guess, like, soul bound to only ever say good things about the monarchy. 00:22:35.522 --> 00:22:47.942 Now, what we really need is the Christmas Princess, where we break into the monarchy by marriage in order to undo the soul binding that we have done to ourselves. 00:22:48.742 --> 00:22:49.442 That's smart. 00:22:49.622 --> 00:22:49.942 That's- 00:22:49.962 --> 00:22:50.962 I like that idea. 00:22:51.322 --> 00:23:00.682 I will also shout out, I don't even know if I should shout it out, because I don't know that it's good, but it's fun, is a Christmas night, I believe it's called, or Christmas night. 00:23:00.842 --> 00:23:02.562 K-N-I-G-H-T. 00:23:02.582 --> 00:23:03.162 Of course. 00:23:03.182 --> 00:23:06.622 Oh, god, that's the one where it's like a time traveler or whatever. 00:23:06.742 --> 00:23:08.342 Yeah, time traveling night. 00:23:08.982 --> 00:23:10.882 The Prince one isn't good either. 00:23:10.902 --> 00:23:16.982 No, they seem both kind of generally in the same trashy kind of pile. 00:23:17.322 --> 00:23:18.982 All right, so here's my proposal. 00:23:19.382 --> 00:23:27.242 Time traveling princess from the past comes to the future and marries another princess. 00:23:28.502 --> 00:23:34.122 Who's also who is is the other princess also time traveling from the future? 00:23:34.142 --> 00:23:34.622 Future, yes. 00:23:34.642 --> 00:23:44.122 When the monarchy has been reestablished, they've both come back to this time to save Christmas. 00:23:44.142 --> 00:23:50.002 And destroy the monarchy because they're evil, obviously, and we love the monarchy. 00:23:50.222 --> 00:23:51.722 Right, right. 00:23:51.982 --> 00:23:52.342 Yes. 00:23:52.362 --> 00:24:01.662 But yes, so it's two princesses who come from two different times to save Christmas and destroy the monarchy. 00:24:01.742 --> 00:24:05.302 And in the process, they discovered that they love one another. 00:24:05.622 --> 00:24:06.082 Exactly. 00:24:06.322 --> 00:24:19.622 And the reason, like, in a hundred years or so, Prince Jesus decides that Christmas is actually really bad and cancels Christmas. 00:24:19.862 --> 00:24:22.362 So we have to make sure that Jesus is never born. 00:24:22.702 --> 00:24:27.882