SPEAKER_2: 2020 is dead, long live 2020, and welcome to Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_2: Fuck this year, I'm Brianna.
SPEAKER_1: And I'm Clair, fuck everything about this year, god good damn.
SPEAKER_2: Fuck everything about this year, what a shit year.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, I'm so excited, we're fucking done with it.
SPEAKER_2: There is no indication that 2021 is gonna be better, but god damn it, I want this energy gone.
SPEAKER_2: I just, I don't know, do you think a year can have energy, Clair?
SPEAKER_1: Absolutely, I think about the energies of 2016, 17, 18, 19 and 20 and how they were all bad and being at a party with the banner fuck 2016 and then 2017 being worse.
SPEAKER_1: And of course, continuously just going down from there.
SPEAKER_1: But still, in hindsight, it's always fun to be like, fuck 2016, fuck 2017, fuck 2018, fuck 2019 and now the biggest fuck you to 2020, I was gonna say fuck 2020, that's what it is, that I can give.
SPEAKER_1: And all I can say is I'm really excited to give an even bigger fuck you to 2021.
SPEAKER_1: And if that's not fair in hindsight, you know, I've been burned by the past five years, you know, 2021, you have to prove it.
SPEAKER_1: You have to prove yourself.
SPEAKER_2: Let's really cover our asses here and say 2021 is gonna be worse than 2020.
SPEAKER_2: And then if we're wrong, that'll be great, right?
SPEAKER_2: Like, oh yeah, we were right.
SPEAKER_2: But I'm still just like, man, I just want this energy gone.
SPEAKER_2: I just want the energy out, a new energy.
SPEAKER_2: Let's refresh this.
SPEAKER_2: All right.
SPEAKER_2: Today, we have an episode all about the new year.
SPEAKER_2: Our kind of new year tradition is we start out the episode with some cravings about the holiday of new years itself.
SPEAKER_2: And then the second craving is usually about like something we're craving for the new year.
SPEAKER_2: So, Clair, do you want to give me your first craving?
SPEAKER_1: My first craving, which I guess is about new years, that I guess I can still do, but I feel like I'm really looking forward to this year because I feel like I need it, is yelling at the top of my lungs.
SPEAKER_2: Yes, absolutely.
SPEAKER_1: Absolutely.
SPEAKER_1: Doing that, you know, you can't really go to the middle of a park, just get rowdy, you know, I don't think I shout at the top of my lungs much, but when it comes to new years, definitely being surrounded by people and just yelling after midnight.
SPEAKER_1: I feel like it's a free for all after midnight.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: There's no restrictions anymore.
SPEAKER_1: So I definitely feel like this year, I'm just gonna like tariff, not terraform, transform into like a wolf.
SPEAKER_1: I'm gonna terraform myself into a wolf and just howl for like for an entire day.
SPEAKER_1: People are gonna be like the fuck.
SPEAKER_2: I think terraforming into a wolf, it's just like you're a wolf and you have cool like trees and stuff on your back.
SPEAKER_1: It's like Torterra from Pokemon, the turtle with a tree on his back.
SPEAKER_1: Great.
SPEAKER_2: God.
SPEAKER_2: Shout out to yelling.
SPEAKER_2: Hey, shout out to yelling.
SPEAKER_2: It's a necessity, you know?
SPEAKER_2: Let her yell.
SPEAKER_2: I'm with her yelling.
SPEAKER_1: I wish you could put commas in hashtags because definitely just the hashtag, I'm with her, comma, yelling is what I need right now.
SPEAKER_2: New Year's is great because it is one of the times when it is socially acceptable to make a lot of noise.
SPEAKER_1: We sell things that make noise for New Year's.
SPEAKER_1: There's the little twirly things, there's the blowy things that people use at birthdays, but we all know nobody likes to have birthdays.
SPEAKER_2: My concern with New Year's and yelling is, I feel like there's a point where it stops being socially acceptable to yell.
SPEAKER_2: I think you're allowed to yell for like, you know, the time immediately after it flips over to the New Year.
SPEAKER_2: I think once you keep yelling for like two or three minutes.
SPEAKER_1: Wow, that's such a short time span.
SPEAKER_1: I was gonna ask you, I was like, what is this stop time?
SPEAKER_1: And I was gonna be like, is it five minutes?
SPEAKER_1: Is it 10 minutes?
SPEAKER_1: Is it 30 minutes?
SPEAKER_1: And you're telling me it's two minutes.
SPEAKER_2: I think if you're talking about yelling, people are kind of like, yeah, you're yelling cause New Year's, yeah, for like about maybe max 30 seconds.
SPEAKER_1: I think it's like-
SPEAKER_1: Damn, you're getting smaller on me.
SPEAKER_1: First it was two minutes.
SPEAKER_2: I'm not saying this is what's acceptable to me.
SPEAKER_2: I'm saying this is what is acceptable in society.
SPEAKER_1: How do we extend the scream limit?
SPEAKER_2: Yes, exactly.
SPEAKER_2: How do we extend the scream limit?
SPEAKER_2: Importantly, I think it should be long enough for you to just yell for as long as you need to.
SPEAKER_2: I think actually you should be yelling before it.
SPEAKER_1: It's like a buildup.
SPEAKER_1: You're saving it up.
SPEAKER_1: Can I just quickly interject?
SPEAKER_1: I wanna go with your idea, but the image of just instead of a countdown, just a count up for how long we can as a species sustain the yelling is just, there we go.
SPEAKER_1: That's what I want.
SPEAKER_3: What is your idea?
SPEAKER_2: To my idea, which is my idea is we institute two scream times.
SPEAKER_2: One scream happens before the new year, leading up to the new year.
SPEAKER_2: And that scream is releasing the scream energy, the pent up scream energy and vibes you need to release from this past year.
SPEAKER_2: It's about screaming out all your agonies and frustrations with 2020.
SPEAKER_2: And then there's a second scream for the excitement of 2021.
SPEAKER_2: So I think there should be two screams.
SPEAKER_1: What is the timeframe on the former scream?
SPEAKER_1: I'm assuming the latter scream is the same time.
SPEAKER_1: It's the new year's midnight.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, you're like, oh yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Maybe a little longer if you're really excited, but this is closer to the vibe.
SPEAKER_1: For this new year's, I'm just gonna scream like, yeah.
SPEAKER_2: But is that gonna give you the catharsis that you need?
SPEAKER_2: No.
SPEAKER_1: So tell me about the former scream.
SPEAKER_1: When do I get to do it?
SPEAKER_2: So the former scream, I mean, you can do it for as long as you need to.
SPEAKER_2: It's just like-
SPEAKER_2: It carries a different-
SPEAKER_3: Yeah, you can start now.
SPEAKER_2: You scream as long as you need to to get all that stuff out, but you gotta be committed.
SPEAKER_2: You gotta be ready because you gotta scream.
SPEAKER_2: You can't stop screaming until the new year hits.
SPEAKER_3: Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_2: You have to scream the whole time because if you do, then the energy remains.
SPEAKER_2: The energy remains.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_1: Can you take breaths?
SPEAKER_1: Can you just be like, my lung capacity does not equal the purest need to scream.
SPEAKER_1: You can do multiple screams, right?
SPEAKER_1: Or is it just like you get one big lung thing and you just have to get bigger lungs?
SPEAKER_2: I guess you can breathe in.
SPEAKER_2: This is sort of my New Year's gift, is I'm not immediately trying to ruin this craving solution and make it bad and dystopian, actually.
SPEAKER_1: So, it is just kind of like, you know, get into the right head space, sort of feel yourself out.
SPEAKER_1: How long are you gonna need?
SPEAKER_1: Are you truly only gonna need 30 seconds?
SPEAKER_1: Are you gonna really feel yourself out?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, or are you gonna need like 10 full minutes to just, just like, ahh?
SPEAKER_1: I like this too, because it just sort of builds up into a cacophony as like, I really like the idea that like, the next year is just like, dude, did you hear like Stephanie?
SPEAKER_1: She just like, sorry to my mother named Stephanie, did you hear Stephanie?
SPEAKER_1: She was screaming like 30 minutes before the end, she just kept going, just for 30 fucking minutes.
SPEAKER_1: She really needed it, you know, you didn't see the year that she had, you know?
SPEAKER_1: So like, you know, there's just this build up as you get closer, but you know, the outliers are very amusing to me.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, that's really good, because like, I feel like it's both solidarity, and it just like gives you an idea of like, what the year has been like for various people, because like, yeah, some people, oh my god, she was screaming for 30 minutes, and other people are like, I'm pretty sure you didn't start screaming until like 10 seconds before.
SPEAKER_2: How did you, how?
SPEAKER_1: You're good though, you're like, for real good?
SPEAKER_2: Are you just like, did you just not want to get rid of that energy?
SPEAKER_2: Because like, I get that, but like.
SPEAKER_1: Then the year is 2120, and we have the cult of screaming, where they just scream constantly all year round.
SPEAKER_3: Uh-huh, listen, you know, I've heard of worse cults.
SPEAKER_1: There's a lot of water, you have to like, there's like 30 second water breaks between screams.
SPEAKER_1: They have it down to an art.
SPEAKER_1: The art of screaming for $1999,000.
SPEAKER_1: Coming to you in the year 2121.
SPEAKER_1: What?
SPEAKER_1: Inflation, inflation.
SPEAKER_2: It's gonna happen.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, this makes sense to me.
SPEAKER_1: You said we're not doing Dystopia, and I said fuck you, challenge accepted.
SPEAKER_2: One day, we will do an entire episode where none of our cravings make life worse for people.
SPEAKER_2: We will do one episode where all of our solutions actually make things better.
SPEAKER_1: I think the cult of screaming does charity too.
SPEAKER_1: I think it does make life better.
SPEAKER_2: Oh good, but does it do charity, like other religious organizations do charity?
SPEAKER_2: Are people forced to scream when they get their-
SPEAKER_1: No.
SPEAKER_2: Do they like exclude non-screamers from their shelters?
SPEAKER_2: Like what's the-
SPEAKER_3: No, it's just a normal cult.
SPEAKER_1: They have punch.
SPEAKER_1: It's not always spiked.
SPEAKER_1: They do screaming.
SPEAKER_1: It's fine.
SPEAKER_2: It's a normal cult.
SPEAKER_2: They have punch is not the winning thing you think it is.
SPEAKER_2: Does that feel like it would help you feel like you could scream longer?
SPEAKER_1: I'm excited to start the cult of screaming.
SPEAKER_1: So what's your craving?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, my craving about this holiday that we call New Year's, I really appreciate the liminal space between Christmas and New Year's.
SPEAKER_2: It is a nice spot to be because you're like, oh man, we're just chilling, right?
SPEAKER_2: There's this period of time, you know, just this like nice kind of couple of days where you're like, oh, I can chill.
SPEAKER_2: New Year hasn't started yet.
SPEAKER_2: Christmas is over.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, we're good.
SPEAKER_2: It is one of the things that I tend to crave through the years.
SPEAKER_2: Oh man, that liminal time is going to be so good.
SPEAKER_2: So like, what if it was longer?
SPEAKER_1: How long?
SPEAKER_1: Like, is there, is there, here's the question.
SPEAKER_1: Is there like too long?
SPEAKER_1: Does it start to become like, do you start to become numb to the liminal space?
SPEAKER_1: Is that a thing?
SPEAKER_2: I mean, here's the thing.
SPEAKER_2: The nature of a liminal space is to be between boundaries, right?
SPEAKER_2: The liminal space is that which is not one thing and not yet another.
SPEAKER_2: So, we can't go too far, but also like, perhaps time itself is too rigid for the liminal space.
SPEAKER_2: What is there without time, you know?
SPEAKER_2: What is, what could be a time without time?
SPEAKER_2: That feels like a perfectly liminal space leading up to the beginning of a new year for me.
SPEAKER_2: I want the time that passes to be both infinite and nothing.
SPEAKER_1: You want the evil phantasmobubble world, Aurel, that's his name, who gives you your own world, and then you come back, it's been 20 minutes.
SPEAKER_2: Basically, right?
SPEAKER_2: But like, alright, here's my theory, here's my theory.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, I've got it.
SPEAKER_1: Welcome to the theory corner, everyone.
SPEAKER_2: So, you know when you get deja vu?
SPEAKER_2: Every deja vu, here's the thing, when you're during this time, all the deja vu you have is things that happened during that time, because, you don't remember them, because time, while you're in it, you are experiencing so many things, infinitely, things that play out again and again and again, and also things that never happened, right?
SPEAKER_2: And so it itself is a liminal space, it is cut off from the rest of the world, and that's where your deja vu happens.
SPEAKER_2: It makes perfect sense.
SPEAKER_2: Also, just like, yeah, this is what...
SPEAKER_1: Wait, I just need to understand, are you saying that all of your deja vu comes from the timeframe between Christmas and New Year's?
SPEAKER_2: Yes, because in that timeframe, we are all experiencing time infinitely and nothing and no time at all.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, what if I just lay down from now until New Year's?
SPEAKER_1: Is the only time I'm gonna...
SPEAKER_1: Can I only harness lay down deja vu energy?
SPEAKER_1: Do I have to start doing things in this liminal space so that I can then call on it during my deja vu moments and gain their power or something?
SPEAKER_2: Well, it all happens in the astral plane, so it's not really a concern of like, oh, what's your body doing?
SPEAKER_2: Oh, I see.
SPEAKER_2: Right, because what you do, what happens...
SPEAKER_2: It's so obvious.
SPEAKER_2: I'm so glad I figured this out.
SPEAKER_2: What happens is you go into the astral plane and in the astral plane, you see all of time.
SPEAKER_2: You see everything that could ever be and everything that has been.
SPEAKER_2: You see the time knife.
SPEAKER_2: You see everything.
SPEAKER_2: You are seeing it all at once, and at the same time, no time has passed.
SPEAKER_2: You have no memory of it, but the flashes remain with you, and that's deja vu, because you see what could be, you see what has been, you see what will be, what won't be.
SPEAKER_2: You see everything.
SPEAKER_2: You can only access that energy sometimes.
SPEAKER_1: The ghosts of what were, the ghosts of what are, and the ghosts of what might be.
SPEAKER_2: Exactly.
SPEAKER_2: It's sort of like that, but it has no moral to teach you.
SPEAKER_2: It simply is.
SPEAKER_1: The ghosts of what simply is?
SPEAKER_2: This makes perfect sense, right?
SPEAKER_1: So, when you get Deja Vu, does the ghost of what simply is or the simply ghost, as I'm just going to call it, just enter your body?
SPEAKER_2: No, it's more like, I think that one would be the ghost of like, what...
SPEAKER_1: The simp ghost.
SPEAKER_2: What could be.
SPEAKER_2: No, I don't think it's the simp ghost.
SPEAKER_2: Do you simp for time?
SPEAKER_1: Do you simp for liminal spaces?
SPEAKER_2: I absolutely simp for liminal spaces.
SPEAKER_2: I do not simp for time.
SPEAKER_2: I think it's like the ghost of what could be, right?
SPEAKER_2: Because it's like coming back and being like, here is what could be.
SPEAKER_2: What could be that has been.
SPEAKER_3: Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_2: What could be that has been that is.
SPEAKER_2: That never will be.
SPEAKER_2: That was never.
SPEAKER_2: That could have happened but didn't.
SPEAKER_2: But also did.
SPEAKER_2: And you saw it, and you experienced it, but you also didn't at all.
SPEAKER_1: That's deep.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I know, I'm pretty smart.
SPEAKER_1: When is your audiobook coming out?
SPEAKER_2: Oh, it'll be out all the time and no time at all.
SPEAKER_2: It is never coming out, and it is already out, and it is coming out in this exact moment, and it is coming out in the future.
SPEAKER_2: It is the audiobook, and really the book itself is decoupled from time, just as the liminal space is decoupled from time.
SPEAKER_2: And this isn't even getting in the space, right?
SPEAKER_2: Because during the liminal space, right?
SPEAKER_2: This liminal period of days, space itself is and isn't, right?
SPEAKER_2: It's like, you know, why you can see what will be and what isn't, right?
SPEAKER_2: Why you can see them both is because you are seeing universes that could be and also aren't.
SPEAKER_2: And space itself can't jive with that, and so everything is happening and nothing is happening.
SPEAKER_1: I think you've left me behind outside the liminal space.
SPEAKER_1: I think I've sort of created my own liminal space, my safety space.
SPEAKER_2: Well, simply, it's possible that just isn't your time yet, but also your time has already passed.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_2: And also it's right now.
SPEAKER_1: Huh.
SPEAKER_2: And that's what I like about New Year's.
SPEAKER_1: My favorite part of New Year's is all of time at once.
SPEAKER_2: And also nothing.
SPEAKER_2: We could have just adjusted the calendar or something, but, you know.
SPEAKER_1: Turn the calendar upside down, and that's the new liminal space.
SPEAKER_2: Turn the calendar upside down.
SPEAKER_1: You know, what's stopping us from just going backwards?
SPEAKER_1: Why don't we start with December this time?
SPEAKER_1: Why can't we just do two Christmases and get Christmas over with and then work our way to January?
SPEAKER_2: So wait, you want to just go back?
SPEAKER_1: December 31st, 2020, and then the next day is December 31st, 2021, and then December 30th, 2021.
SPEAKER_1: You know, we're gonna count down.
SPEAKER_2: Wait, so I just have a question here, which is like, is this...
SPEAKER_2: Are we gonna be replaying things that we saw in 2020?
SPEAKER_1: Well, no, it's a new year, but we're just moving through 2021 and I just think we should make the year's kiss, you know?
SPEAKER_2: Right, would there be any sort of change to our lives because of this?
SPEAKER_1: We do Christmas twice.
SPEAKER_1: I feel like it would be quite hectic.
SPEAKER_1: No one really saw it coming that Christmas was seven days into the year, seven days before the end of the previous year.
SPEAKER_1: And really, why do we even need the other?
SPEAKER_1: We should just do the last six months over and over.
SPEAKER_1: I feel like I understand that my birthday's in March.
SPEAKER_1: I don't need birthdays anymore.
SPEAKER_1: If we could just do July to December, and then December to July is just back and forth, I think that'd be good.
SPEAKER_1: I think we could find a good liminal space.
SPEAKER_2: So wait, okay, so in that case, then the year begins on my birthday, July 1st, and then goes to the end of the year.
SPEAKER_1: You are aged twice in two days.
SPEAKER_2: Oh no.
SPEAKER_2: Wait, so wait, if this happens, your birthday doesn't exist anymore, and so you never age.
SPEAKER_1: I'm 25 forever, bitch.
SPEAKER_2: And I age twice as quickly.
SPEAKER_2: Like the fucking clones in Star Wars.
SPEAKER_2: And I'm just like, I'm gonna be dead in like 20 years, 30 years, something like that, and you're gonna live forever.
SPEAKER_1: This is natural selection.
SPEAKER_1: This is what people mean when they say natural selection.
SPEAKER_2: Thank you for telling me about your superiority to me.
SPEAKER_1: Superiority is, the criteria for superiority is birthday between January and June.
SPEAKER_2: That's how it works, sweaty.
SPEAKER_2: I guess it would increase maybe the liminal spaces, I guess.
SPEAKER_2: I guess then January to June is just the liminal space.
SPEAKER_2: It simultaneously does exist and doesn't exist.
SPEAKER_2: So simultaneously, you're dead and you've never aged.
SPEAKER_1: I think that's just being a vampire.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I think this is being a vampire.
SPEAKER_2: I think this is just another route to vampirism.
SPEAKER_2: But it does address my cravings.
SPEAKER_1: I'm glad it addresses your cravings.
SPEAKER_2: So we can move on to what we're craving for next year, for 2021.
SPEAKER_2: Tell me about what you're craving, Clair.
SPEAKER_1: Before I say what I'm craving for 2021, I need to give some context for 2020.
SPEAKER_1: Really, I deleted Facebook.
SPEAKER_1: I didn't want it anymore.
SPEAKER_1: The entire point for me for Facebook was organizing events, hosting dinner parties or going to dances or whatnot.
SPEAKER_1: When I couldn't do that anymore, I was like, what is Facebook except Doomscroll Central?
SPEAKER_1: So I moved my Doomscroll Central to Twitter, which I also want to get rid of, to be honest.
SPEAKER_1: But now I don't know what to use for scheduling.
SPEAKER_1: So for 2021, I'm really craving a tool to schedule events for that isn't Facebook.
SPEAKER_1: How to organize events, make sure that like I know who's coming, who can bring what, make sure everyone knows how to get there.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_2: No, I think I have an idea.
SPEAKER_1: Okay.
SPEAKER_1: What's your idea?
SPEAKER_2: So this app is called Cal.ender.
SPEAKER_2: It is the final calendar app you'll ever need.
SPEAKER_2: Um, it is gonna bring about the end of calendars, because it has all that stuff that you want, right?
SPEAKER_2: It has a place for all of those things, for coordination.
SPEAKER_2: And also, it links up with everything.
SPEAKER_1: Everything?
SPEAKER_2: Listen, you know how on Facebook, it's like, oh yeah, we can just all see the Facebook events, right?
SPEAKER_2: Because we're all on Facebook, right?
SPEAKER_2: If you're on Facebook, you can see all the Cal.ender events.
SPEAKER_2: If you're on Twitter, you can see them.
SPEAKER_2: You can link up all your accounts to it.
SPEAKER_2: Everyone can do it.
SPEAKER_2: And everyone will do it because we'll make them.
SPEAKER_1: Great.
SPEAKER_1: I'm glad.
SPEAKER_1: Miss Brianna, let's not do dystopia.com.
SPEAKER_2: We won't make them.
SPEAKER_2: We'll simply say, hey, it's the Cal.ender thing.
SPEAKER_2: And we won't need any of their information.
SPEAKER_2: We don't need any of their information.
SPEAKER_2: I guess they could just log in to it.
SPEAKER_2: They don't need to.
SPEAKER_2: This is sort of...
SPEAKER_1: We don't just use an email.
SPEAKER_1: You can basically just send out a Google calendar invite, but then you don't get any of the coordinating.
SPEAKER_1: You don't get any of that, like, who can bring a potato salad?
SPEAKER_1: Who can bring the hot peppers?
SPEAKER_2: I think here's the thing, because Cal.ender starts small, and then it's going to get bigger, right?
SPEAKER_2: Because here's the thing.
SPEAKER_2: It'll start out like, oh, you could link up with any of your email, with any of your social media stuff, and you can make a profile.
SPEAKER_2: That's totally easy to do.
SPEAKER_2: And then, you know, over time, we'll add more and more features, right?
SPEAKER_2: There will be ways to coordinate and organize and chat.
SPEAKER_2: And you know what?
SPEAKER_2: It's a pandemic.
SPEAKER_2: We may as well add video calling and phone calling as well.
SPEAKER_2: And then we'll add a dashboard, right?
SPEAKER_2: And then, Brianna, you're making Facebook, and I know you know this.
SPEAKER_2: One day, we will usurp Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and for what it's worth, Discord and Skype and Zoom.
SPEAKER_2: And we will become the end goal of all social media, the Cal.ender.
SPEAKER_2: We have ended everyone else, and now use us, and we use heavy moderation to ensure that it doesn't become horribly toxic.
SPEAKER_1: So without recreating Facebook, why do we have to put video calling and everything?
SPEAKER_1: And also, why do we have to put stories and everything?
SPEAKER_1: Call it to Twitter.
SPEAKER_1: But like...
SPEAKER_2: Sorry, they're called fleets on Twitter.
SPEAKER_2: They're called fleet enemas on Twitter.
SPEAKER_2: Here's, I have another suggestion, if you're not down with the app.
SPEAKER_1: Look, I'm down for an app.
SPEAKER_1: I'm just not down for Facebook to...
SPEAKER_2: I mean, here's the thing.
SPEAKER_2: It's not gonna be Facebook because we're gonna be better than Facebook.
SPEAKER_1: Right, right.
SPEAKER_1: What's your other idea?
SPEAKER_2: Mail stuff.
SPEAKER_2: Back in the day, when you wanted to set up an event, you had to send out letters and invites, and you would like send out stuff, you know, and postal service was like, you send out something in the morning, you know, they will get it in the afternoon or whatever, usually because you'd have, you know, people to deliver it.
SPEAKER_2: So we just have to hire a bunch more postal workers.
SPEAKER_1: I'm into this because it means we have to give funding to the post office, which I am for.
SPEAKER_2: I'm into that as well.
SPEAKER_2: Um, and we are now communicating exclusively via letters.
SPEAKER_2: And this way, we do have to plan events farther in advance.
SPEAKER_2: But I also like...
SPEAKER_2: Ah, yeah.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, I do too, but it goes to such a specific type of person who can plan that far into advance, which I do.
SPEAKER_1: But like, I know I am not everyone.
SPEAKER_2: Wait, what?
SPEAKER_2: Hang on.
SPEAKER_2: Back up.
SPEAKER_2: Are you saying our experiences are not universal?
SPEAKER_1: I think we've made that exact joke a hundred times on this podcast.
SPEAKER_2: Well, I'm making it again.
SPEAKER_2: Not everything is changing with the new year.
SPEAKER_1: Some things stay the same.
SPEAKER_1: My one thing is like, how do we keep track of the discussion threads?
SPEAKER_1: If I'm like, who can bring the food?
SPEAKER_1: And someone is like, I'll bring a cake, and then someone is like in the middle, has made a cake, and is like in the middle of writing, I've made a cake, and then gets like an, I'll make a cake.
SPEAKER_1: Like, what then?
SPEAKER_1: You're just gonna have two cakes, which may be not a problem.
SPEAKER_1: But what if it's like an event where you can't take two cakes, or they'll get, they'll take one of your cakes?
SPEAKER_1: Then you have to choose.
SPEAKER_1: Then you have to choose which cake, and then you're gonna make one of your friends hate you.
SPEAKER_1: And that's, you know, it started with a cake, and it ended with a friendship, but the friendship ended.
SPEAKER_2: It started with a cake.
SPEAKER_2: How did it end up like this?
SPEAKER_2: It was only a cake.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, so you're concerned that using mailed letters and invites will lead to miscommunications.
SPEAKER_1: There'll be like a communication delay.
SPEAKER_1: How do we reduce the delay?
SPEAKER_2: If only we could do like mail electronically or something.
SPEAKER_1: Imagine.
SPEAKER_2: Imagine.
SPEAKER_2: So in order to reduce the delay, I think maybe we should all just move into closer areas.
SPEAKER_2: We could deliver the letters ourselves.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, we only invite people within a city block.
SPEAKER_1: So we have to live near everyone, and anyone further away, we never see them.
SPEAKER_2: Alternatively, what if we gave postal workers-
SPEAKER_2: Again, we're giving them so much more funding.
SPEAKER_2: We also give them better equipment, like planes.
SPEAKER_1: Like rocket shoes.
SPEAKER_1: What?
SPEAKER_1: What was yours?
SPEAKER_2: Like planes, but I prefer rocket shoes.
SPEAKER_2: Let's talk about rocket shoes.
SPEAKER_1: Well, I was thinking like when you said planes, I was thinking like personal drones that like pick them up.
SPEAKER_1: They become the drone.
SPEAKER_1: It's like a drone hat.
SPEAKER_1: I think we've made the drone hat.
SPEAKER_2: We've definitely made the drone hat.
SPEAKER_1: But I think rocket shoes are just kind of like drone hats for your feet.
SPEAKER_1: I'm getting flashbacks to like skateboarding on buildings.
SPEAKER_2: But like, are the postal workers now like totally radical skateboarders?
SPEAKER_1: It's like when you join a football team and you have tryouts and you have to like prove that you can play football.
SPEAKER_1: To join the postal service, you have to prove that you're radical enough.
SPEAKER_2: Right.
SPEAKER_2: And then the question becomes like, do we train postal workers to skateboard or skateboarders to be postal workers?
SPEAKER_1: I don't think we have to limit ourselves.
SPEAKER_2: I think we can both.
SPEAKER_2: Imagine going up to skateboarders who are like skateboarding on public property or something.
SPEAKER_2: And you're just like, hey, kids, you can't skate here.
SPEAKER_2: They're like, there's nowhere else to skate.
SPEAKER_2: Where are we supposed to skate?
SPEAKER_2: And you're like, I know exactly where you can skate.
SPEAKER_2: And you hand them a job application.
SPEAKER_1: Take the glasses off thing.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I was doing the like, I was doing, I was pretending I was wearing like a postal worker hat.
SPEAKER_2: And I was like, you know, like, with the hat.
SPEAKER_2: But like, also taking the, yeah, it's just like, I just walk up to them like, huh, let me tell you where you can skateboard.
SPEAKER_2: And then I hand them some job applications for postal workers.
SPEAKER_2: And they're like, wow, this has a really good salary and like full benefits.
SPEAKER_2: And I'm like, yeah, I, you know, I want to make sure that everyone has what they need to, you know, to survive.
SPEAKER_1: I like the image of the first day on the job where we get all the old postal workers and all the skateboarders, and we kind of get them to teach each other where it's like, the postal workers are teaching the skateboarders how to deliver mail, and the skateboarders are teaching the postal workers how to skate.
SPEAKER_2: And just like some sort of like coming of age movie, there's like a little bit of like tension, there's like, oh, why do we have to work with these skateboarders?
SPEAKER_2: They have no respect for postal work.
SPEAKER_2: These postal workers are all just a bunch of boring old dudes, and it's like it takes time for them to realize that, you know, they're one in the same, and they organize for better working conditions.
SPEAKER_3: I thought we started with better working conditions.
SPEAKER_2: You're right, we did start with better working conditions.
SPEAKER_2: They are able to protect those working conditions.
SPEAKER_2: That's the thing, right?
SPEAKER_2: You know, someone tries to come by, take them away, and they are able to team up together to stop it.
SPEAKER_2: It's called unionizing, and it's cruel.
SPEAKER_1: I think this is better than Facebook.
SPEAKER_2: Sorry, it was Cal.Ender, but go off.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, I think it's better than Facebook and Cal.Ender.
SPEAKER_1: I'm ready to have my new best friend who is both a skateboarder and a postal worker to help me.
SPEAKER_2: I'm at the skate park.
SPEAKER_2: I'm at the post office.
SPEAKER_2: I'm at the combination skate party postal office.
SPEAKER_1: What is your next craving?
SPEAKER_2: So my craving for the new year, I think it's broad, but it's just like, I'm very excited for things to change.
SPEAKER_2: You know, obviously I care.
SPEAKER_1: It was an unprecedented year.
SPEAKER_1: It was a weird year.
SPEAKER_2: But here's the thing.
SPEAKER_2: After a while, it wasn't.
SPEAKER_2: It was the same thing over and over.
SPEAKER_2: It was staying at homes, go grocery shop once a week, do whatever you can, stay with the same people.
SPEAKER_2: And I just want new things to happen.
SPEAKER_2: Obviously, I want there to be good new things, but I would like to connect with people in ways other than online.
SPEAKER_2: I would like to be able to leave my home and feel relatively safe.
SPEAKER_2: I just would like, I don't know, maybe a different view or something.
SPEAKER_2: Maybe I should change up in my house where my computer is.
SPEAKER_2: I just want new things to happen in 2021.
SPEAKER_2: And hopefully, vaccine rollout goes well.
SPEAKER_2: I think we should just try and figure out what are some new things that we can make sure happen in 2021.
SPEAKER_1: My mind went into the worst place possible.
SPEAKER_1: Because I was just like, yeah, 2021, excited to get yelled at five bigots again.
SPEAKER_1: That's how cooped up we are.
SPEAKER_1: I personally welcome our trans misogynistic overlords back into our daily lives.
SPEAKER_2: It's fine.
SPEAKER_2: They're always online anyway.
SPEAKER_2: This really isn't that much of a change, but in person would be interesting and kind of new, right?
SPEAKER_2: It's like, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_1: Yell at me to my face.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, yeah, spit in my face some more.
SPEAKER_1: That's great.
SPEAKER_2: I haven't gotten called a slur on the street in a bit.
SPEAKER_2: I kind of, I would like to get, I think, you know, like it's not like I like that, but like-
SPEAKER_1: No, no, it's not good.
SPEAKER_2: No, it's not good, but like, I forgot what it's like for people to yell dyke at me and my girlfriend.
SPEAKER_2: Like I wouldn't, you know, it's like, at least it would be something new, right?
SPEAKER_2: It's like interesting.
SPEAKER_2: I got tired of just seeing them written out online, like say it to my face, you know, without infecting me with COVID.
SPEAKER_3: What are some nicer ones?
SPEAKER_2: Right.
SPEAKER_1: Doing nothing in the same place together because we don't have to maximize the time together via video call.
SPEAKER_1: Just simply vibing, just being on the couch and like everyone's on their phone.
SPEAKER_2: Dude, I miss it so much.
SPEAKER_2: It hurts.
SPEAKER_2: But like, okay, let's say that the vaccines, you know, something goes wrong or whatever, who knows?
SPEAKER_2: What are some things that we can do that are still COVID safe that just would change everything?
SPEAKER_2: What if we just snap everyone's on the other side of the world?
SPEAKER_2: Just everyone's faults.
SPEAKER_1: That would suck for a lot of people, including us, because I believe the other side of the world is the Pacific Ocean or a large body of water somewhere.
SPEAKER_2: We could make it, we could figure it out.
SPEAKER_1: Spawn to the closest edge.
SPEAKER_2: Yes, spawn to the closest edge.
SPEAKER_2: Like a Minecraft spawn.
SPEAKER_2: It's simple.
SPEAKER_1: If we hit summer, what are we going to do in summer?
SPEAKER_1: When we know it's slightly safer in the summer, is what we observed.
SPEAKER_1: I actually don't know if the newest data supports that still.
SPEAKER_2: What if we could all fly?
SPEAKER_1: You know how we gave postal service workers rocket shoes?
SPEAKER_1: We're going to give everyone rocket shoes.
SPEAKER_3: I was thinking like butterfly wings.
SPEAKER_2: Maybe we could personalize your wings.
SPEAKER_2: What if we just gave everyone wings?
SPEAKER_1: You know, we proved that medical science can do a lot in 2020.
SPEAKER_1: So for 2021, we've decided to turn our attention.
SPEAKER_1: Instead of other diseases, we're going to give everyone wings.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, and then everyone can fly, and it'll be really easy to be social distance because you're in the air, there's lots of space.
SPEAKER_1: I'm at latitude, this altitude, this.
SPEAKER_1: There's no one here at this altitude.
SPEAKER_1: Come hang out.
SPEAKER_2: Plus we'll all get really cute wings, and that'll be fun.
SPEAKER_2: Oh my god, there'll be so many new wing selfies and something like that.
SPEAKER_2: I don't know what that entails.
SPEAKER_1: Can you get lizard wings?
SPEAKER_2: Totally, why not?
SPEAKER_2: You know?
SPEAKER_2: I think there's different skins you could probably unlock.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, wait, what's the unlocking?
SPEAKER_1: What do you have to do to unlock them?
SPEAKER_1: You have to do really cool spins in the air and then you unlock a new skin.
SPEAKER_2: Instead of having to put a coin in for a gacha machine, you're just spinning.
SPEAKER_2: You're not spinning the wheel, you're spinning yourself.
SPEAKER_2: And then after you do enough spins, it's like achievement unlocked, and you just get this option to get some new wings.
SPEAKER_1: Are you wearing them or are they attached?
SPEAKER_1: Are they like a backpack?
SPEAKER_2: I feel like they're attached, probably.
SPEAKER_2: But like that's okay, you know?
SPEAKER_2: Some architecture is going to have to be redesigned, but it should be anyway because it should be accessible.
SPEAKER_2: So I'm not worried about that.
SPEAKER_1: That's a later problem.
SPEAKER_1: That's a 2022 problem.
SPEAKER_2: That's a 2022 problem.
SPEAKER_1: 2021 is about wings, 2022 is about accessible infrastructure.
SPEAKER_1: We could switch that, but we're not going to.
SPEAKER_1: And don't worry, in 2022, we will find a way to delay it later.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: You know, in 2020, we were all confined to the World Wide Web.
SPEAKER_2: In 2021, we will be freed by the World Wide Wings.
SPEAKER_2: And 2022, then we'll consider the implications of wings.
SPEAKER_2: But 2021, we're just going to rock with it.
SPEAKER_2: You know, we're just going to have a fun time.
SPEAKER_1: The end of 2021 is all the hot takes.
SPEAKER_1: Wings were a bad idea, actually.
SPEAKER_1: Ten reasons why the government doesn't want you to think too hard about your new wings.
SPEAKER_2: These anti-wing activists, god.
SPEAKER_2: You have to wear a mask also when flying still, though.
SPEAKER_1: I feel like there's so much air, though.
SPEAKER_2: What does the amount of air have to do with it?
SPEAKER_1: Because if you breathe out, it's like an aerosol.
SPEAKER_1: It hangs in the air, but there's more air now, so there's less particles per inch.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know how it works.
SPEAKER_2: I actually am not sure that is how air works.
SPEAKER_2: And also, there's going to be more wind.
SPEAKER_2: It can fly farther, so it's still, you know...
SPEAKER_1: But there is also viral load, which is a term I learned this year, which is a good term.
SPEAKER_1: And also makes me think of the idea of, yes, daddy, put your viral load on me.
SPEAKER_2: I was like, I'm not going to stop her in case this isn't where she's going because I don't want to bring it up.
SPEAKER_2: But it was where you were going.
SPEAKER_1: And then I went there.
SPEAKER_2: And then you went there.
SPEAKER_2: Wings are canceled.
SPEAKER_2: Clair lost us all the privilege of having wings with her weird viral load comments.
SPEAKER_1: I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_1: I got my viral load everywhere.
SPEAKER_1: And now the wings can't come anymore.
SPEAKER_2: We can't move from this.
SPEAKER_2: We can't.
SPEAKER_2: Let me try and make this transition.
SPEAKER_2: So, speaking of things being new this year, we're ignoring everything with the viral load that ever happened.
SPEAKER_2: Speaking of things being new this year, we have an announcement to make.
SPEAKER_1: Drum roll, please.
SPEAKER_1: I'm not doing a drum roll.
SPEAKER_2: Now I'm going to say the big thing, and then everyone can freak out.
SPEAKER_1: It's ending.
SPEAKER_2: It's ending.
SPEAKER_2: It's over.
SPEAKER_1: It's not over yet.
SPEAKER_1: Salt Cravings is ending.
SPEAKER_1: It's ending.
SPEAKER_2: We have decided, we really like doing this show, but we also...
SPEAKER_2: It's really, really fun.
SPEAKER_2: We also want to be doing other things, right?
SPEAKER_2: We are interested in not just, you know, making ourselves do this one show forever.
SPEAKER_2: We have lots of other ideas for different...
SPEAKER_1: Fun activities.
SPEAKER_1: There's so much room for activities now.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, which is to say, Salt Cravings is going to be ending, the last episode is going to be episode 69.
SPEAKER_2: After that, we are going to be doing something new.
SPEAKER_2: It could be streaming, it could be something with Tabletop.
SPEAKER_2: We're still really going through ideas.
SPEAKER_1: It's in the works.
SPEAKER_1: That's why we're here a few episodes early saying it.
SPEAKER_2: We'll write out like a post on social media to like get into the details more.
SPEAKER_2: Right now, we don't have a lot of the details.
SPEAKER_2: We have mostly just the knowledge that we got after this, I guess, nine episodes left.
SPEAKER_2: And we're going to do something special for episode 69, almost certainly some sort of like charity livestream.
SPEAKER_2: But again, details for that, still working those out.
SPEAKER_2: But in addition to just this being a heads up that yes, we're going to be ending, I'm going to say a couple of things.
SPEAKER_2: First thing, I'm still going to be working on the transcripts.
SPEAKER_2: I'm going to go through the backlog and make sure that every episode has a transcript just so that it's there.
SPEAKER_2: Second thing, get your cravings in.
SPEAKER_2: You have nine episodes left.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, this is it.
SPEAKER_2: Or save them for whatever, if we do a live episode.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know, just use them up.
SPEAKER_1: You can always get more cravings.
SPEAKER_1: Cravings, as we discussed in episode zero, I believe, cravings are an infinite resource.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, we are excited to conclude this before it gets bad.
SPEAKER_2: I don't know that it would have ever gotten bad, but I'm excited.
SPEAKER_1: Brianna, jokes on you.
SPEAKER_1: It's always been bad.
SPEAKER_1: It's the astronaut meme.
SPEAKER_2: Also, to be clear, this is not the end of us doing shit together.
SPEAKER_2: Clair and I are going to be doing nonsense together, I assume, for a very long time.
SPEAKER_1: Nonsense incorporated.
SPEAKER_1: We're going into the business.
SPEAKER_1: No, we're not going into the business.
SPEAKER_2: No guarantees about what comes next, but if you want to suggest things, also no guarantee that we're going to say yes to them, but we'd love to know if there are specific things you'd be really interested in hearing us do.
SPEAKER_2: We would love to know.
SPEAKER_2: I believe that the current estimate that I've looked at is kind of mid to late April for the end, but things can change.
SPEAKER_2: Episodes might take longer to release, so do you have anything to add, Clair?
SPEAKER_1: You can always send in your ideas, just to be explicitly clear.
SPEAKER_1: If you have an idea about what you'd like to see, you said this, but you can send it in.
SPEAKER_1: Send it in at submissions at saltcravings.com.
SPEAKER_1: Send in your cravings.
SPEAKER_1: Send in what you'd like to see.
SPEAKER_1: Would you like to see video games being played?
SPEAKER_1: Would you like to hear tabletop RPGs being played?
SPEAKER_1: Would you like to hear us read the entire work of Shakespeare, but backwards, then tell us that.
SPEAKER_1: We probably won't do that one.
SPEAKER_1: I might make Brianna do that one.
SPEAKER_1: But otherwise, you can give us a rating on iTunes, Stitcher, anywhere you can leave ratings for your favorite podcasts.
SPEAKER_1: You can tell us about your wings, what color are your wings.
SPEAKER_1: You can send your donations.
SPEAKER_1: I know it's going to be a little later, but if you got some money for Christmas or Boxing Day, or as people don't get presents for Boxing Day, but you can go and donate some money to the various links in the description.
SPEAKER_1: If you're never too sure about what to donate to, like you have some extra money lying around because of the holidays, you know, in the description, it's just a click away.
SPEAKER_1: It's like a bad commercial.
SPEAKER_1: It's just a click away from Paradise.
SPEAKER_1: And Paradise, in this case, is affirmative action.
SPEAKER_2: You can always follow us and interact with us on social media at Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, and Cal.Ender.
SPEAKER_2: No, you can't do that one, but you can do that on those sites, and we will hear your comments, you know, be free to let us know what you think.
SPEAKER_2: Submit your cravings, submissions at saltcravings.com.
SPEAKER_2: Also, feel free to submit your thoughts, but again, no guarantees.
SPEAKER_2: That's how we do it here.
SPEAKER_1: Please don't tell us how you're going through a divorce.
SPEAKER_1: Not just any thoughts.
SPEAKER_1: Thoughts about the next thing we do.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, if you tell us that, I'll just be like, yeah, I'm sorry, that sucks.
SPEAKER_1: Gigi, no Ri.
SPEAKER_2: We can't end on that note.
SPEAKER_2: We can't.
SPEAKER_1: Sometimes you just look at your wife and you're like, Gigi, no Ri.
SPEAKER_2: No, that's not.
SPEAKER_2: No, stop the inter...
SPEAKER_1: Fine, do it, bring us out.
SPEAKER_2: No, no, no, no, that was it.
SPEAKER_2: That was the ending.
SPEAKER_2: With me going, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, I wasn't sure if you wanted me to like, do the outro music and then like have it stop and then be like, no, no, here you go.
SPEAKER_2: No, no, you just, yeah, it's supposed to overpower me.
SPEAKER_1: I see, you cannot, you cannot defeat the power of the end game.
SPEAKER_2: Can't.
SPEAKER_3: The end game being divorced wife.