SPEAKER_2: Hello, and welcome to Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_2: This is a podcast where we have cravings and then we solve them.
SPEAKER_2: My name's Clair.
SPEAKER_1: And my name's Brianna.
SPEAKER_2: And today, I've got this like ancient talisman.
SPEAKER_2: I was inspired by this documentary called Indiana Jones.
SPEAKER_2: And so I went into the nearest temple just down the street.
SPEAKER_2: And like evaded all the traps.
SPEAKER_2: And then even though there were signs that were like, please do not steal the priceless artifacts.
SPEAKER_2: This is not a joke.
SPEAKER_2: I realized that satire is kind of just like, that happens in temples.
SPEAKER_2: So I get that it was kind of just edging me on.
SPEAKER_2: It was kind of just like, we dare you to.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, it wasn't a recognition of the importance of these cultural artifacts.
SPEAKER_2: It was just a bit.
SPEAKER_2: It was just satire, as we know.
SPEAKER_2: Everything is a joke, including in temples, especially in temples.
SPEAKER_2: So I took it and faced zero consequences after escaping a number of death traps.
SPEAKER_2: Something about it shakes up the vibes.
SPEAKER_2: Not a big deal.
SPEAKER_2: I'm gonna hold it up to the camera and deep in the-
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I wanna see this talisman.
SPEAKER_1: I would love to see it.
SPEAKER_1: I would love to see it held up to the camera.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, so here is the talisman.
SPEAKER_3: Can you describe the talisman for me?
SPEAKER_3: I'm having a hard time describing the talisman.
SPEAKER_1: It has some nice curves.
SPEAKER_1: It's fairly long-ish and has some curves and ridges.
SPEAKER_1: Sort of shaped a little bit like a lobster claw.
SPEAKER_2: Something about the vibes, you know?
SPEAKER_1: Do they allow this?
SPEAKER_2: The vibes, the vibes, Brianna.
SPEAKER_1: This is the weirdest vibe check I've ever seen.
SPEAKER_2: So it feels like the vibes have shifted a little bit, thanks to the talisman.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I'm feeling very much like I'm having a different vibe.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I feel like I've been vibe checked.
SPEAKER_2: A new vibe has come upon me.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I feel like my vibe feels very much sort of like what I imagine your vibe feels like.
SPEAKER_2: That's really weird, because I'm really thinking about outer space and blaster pistols a lot more recently.
SPEAKER_2: And I feel like this is maybe your vibe.
SPEAKER_1: Uh-huh, I've been thinking a lot about discourse, and I just like, I know what a computer is and how it works now, so that's really strange.
SPEAKER_2: I couldn't, I don't know what a computer is.
SPEAKER_1: Wow, it's like some sort of freaky shift.
SPEAKER_2: Freaky vibe day.
SPEAKER_1: Well, we are recording this on a Sunday, so maybe it's freaky Sunday.
SPEAKER_2: Do you want to tell me what your first craving is and get these vibes rolling?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, let's get these vibes rolling.
SPEAKER_1: Love this extremely.
SPEAKER_1: We're doing cravings that the other person tends to bring today.
SPEAKER_1: That's the vibe we're doing today.
SPEAKER_2: Haha, that's the bit.
SPEAKER_1: I'm starting us off with a craving that I think both of us have been having.
SPEAKER_1: I think it's a shared craving, really.
SPEAKER_1: I want a game that makes me feel like Hades does.
SPEAKER_1: Because Hades is the best goddamn game right now for me.
SPEAKER_1: For me, I'm obsessed with Hades.
SPEAKER_1: I'm constantly craving Hades.
SPEAKER_1: I love it.
SPEAKER_1: It's fantastic.
SPEAKER_1: I want another game that makes me feel like this.
SPEAKER_2: What is the feeling?
SPEAKER_2: Because I've only killed my father once, and I know I need to kill him nine more times before he actually lets me out.
SPEAKER_1: You should kill your father more times, for sure.
SPEAKER_2: Have you already killed him ten times?
SPEAKER_1: Yes.
SPEAKER_2: I heard the ending was kind of bad.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I'm not huge on it.
SPEAKER_1: It's like one of those endings where it's like, I know you had to do this ending because you want to be able to play the game even after that.
SPEAKER_1: And so I understand how you get to that ending, but it doesn't have nearly enough fuck dad's energy.
SPEAKER_2: I absolutely refuse to give him any nectar, and I don't want his bullshit trinkets.
SPEAKER_1: Listen, you don't get his trinket until post.
SPEAKER_1: It's the whole thing.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, so I have mixed feelings about the ending of that game.
SPEAKER_1: So here's my critiques with Hades, okay?
SPEAKER_1: And then I'm just gonna go into how much I love it.
SPEAKER_1: Critiques.
SPEAKER_1: The ending I don't think is necessarily fantastic.
SPEAKER_1: Could be more recognition that Hades is the worst dad, just a terrible dad.
SPEAKER_1: I don't care about the whatever, the big main plot shit.
SPEAKER_1: He's just a bad dad.
SPEAKER_1: My other critique is I'm not huge on the designs of the Olympians because everyone is ashy as hell, which doesn't make sense to me.
SPEAKER_1: All of their skin just looks extremely ashy, and I don't understand why.
SPEAKER_1: They make their skin look good.
SPEAKER_1: All the other art in this game is absolutely beautiful.
SPEAKER_1: I don't understand how this happened.
SPEAKER_2: Like the texture?
SPEAKER_1: There's a lot of critiques often levied at artists who draw darker skin in a way that just doesn't look like skin or looks like badly maintained and taken care of skin, right?
SPEAKER_1: Where it'll be like a certain tone that just makes it look kind of grayish.
SPEAKER_1: And this is something you can see in a lot of, especially like white people's art.
SPEAKER_1: In Hades, everyone's ashy, including the white people.
SPEAKER_1: It's just like everyone looks sort of gray, and I understand the thing that they're going for, because like, oh yeah, it's the underworld.
SPEAKER_1: But also the Olympians also look gray, and I don't understand why the Olympians would, because they're literally Greek gods living in luxury.
SPEAKER_1: It does not make sense.
SPEAKER_2: Especially Aphrodite.
SPEAKER_1: Yes, exactly.
SPEAKER_1: The art choices don't make sense on that level, and therefore I will not defend them on that level.
SPEAKER_1: And so that's my other critique of Hades.
SPEAKER_1: On every other level, I think this game kicks ass.
SPEAKER_1: I think the story is good.
SPEAKER_1: I think a lot of it looks really good.
SPEAKER_1: And the gameplay especially is super good.
SPEAKER_1: The gameplay just rocks.
SPEAKER_1: Every time I play that game, I'm like, this is the best thing in the world.
SPEAKER_1: And then I stop playing that game and I'm like, what if I played more of that game?
SPEAKER_1: And that's really where I'm at with it.
SPEAKER_1: Can I just have another game that makes me as excited as this one does?
SPEAKER_2: You can.
SPEAKER_2: There's at least two other games like this called Bastion and Transistor.
SPEAKER_1: Are the other Supergiant games as good as this?
SPEAKER_2: OK, so like no, because what Hades is, is a refinement of all of their games.
SPEAKER_2: Bastion, I think, is an excellent narrative game that like, you know, they're starting off on their mechanics.
SPEAKER_2: Like literally Bastion is their first publication.
SPEAKER_2: But like the dodging, the mechanics, like all the shooting mechanics, the punching, all of your mechanics, all your weapons from Hades, you will immediately recognize that they were birthed in Bastion.
SPEAKER_2: Your dodging mechanics birthed in Bastion.
SPEAKER_2: It still feels just as good there.
SPEAKER_2: The difference is like the way story is told, I would say is better in Hades.
SPEAKER_2: Actually, I have critiques on the way story is told in Hades.
SPEAKER_2: I think it might actually be better in Bastion, but it's a little more limited in Bastion.
SPEAKER_2: That's Bastion's failings.
SPEAKER_2: Transistor brings in the idea of modifying weapons.
SPEAKER_2: You know how in Hades, you have your, basically your dash, attack, special and cast?
SPEAKER_2: Like you can then modify them further.
SPEAKER_2: What Transistor introduces is exactly that mechanic.
SPEAKER_2: You get a bunch of like items and you can attach them as either an attack or a boon to that attack.
SPEAKER_2: I haven't played Pyre, but I've heard some very, very, very good things about the story and that it struggles mechanically.
SPEAKER_2: And then there's Hades, which takes the best parts of the mechanics and it turns it into a roguelike.
SPEAKER_2: I think my biggest critique of Hades is it can feel really disjointed in its storytelling at times because I would be 10 runs in and I would get someone's introduction after I had met them five times before.
SPEAKER_2: And it's like, oh, I've been told about you.
SPEAKER_2: And it's like, dude, we've talked a dozen times already.
SPEAKER_1: That's so funny because I've never gotten that.
SPEAKER_1: I've never dealt with that.
SPEAKER_1: I feel like that's probably a function of you just being very good at the game very quickly.
SPEAKER_2: My skill level is not the expected skill level because my skill level plateaus really quickly because I played Bastion and Transistor this year.
SPEAKER_2: So I was very used to the mechanics.
SPEAKER_2: And on my very first run, I made it to Elysium, which I'm pretty sure is unexpected.
SPEAKER_1: That's absolutely unexpected.
SPEAKER_1: My first run, I died to Megara.
SPEAKER_2: Like, I've never died to any of the Furies ever.
SPEAKER_1: Like, that's fucking wild to me.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, no, the only boss I've ever died to is Hades and the Minotaur.
SPEAKER_1: Not even the-
SPEAKER_1: or you mean Theseus and the Minotaur?
SPEAKER_1: Or just the Minotaur?
SPEAKER_2: The Minotaur in Theseus and the Minotaur.
SPEAKER_2: I've never died to Theseus.
SPEAKER_2: Fuck Theseus so much.
SPEAKER_2: And also I've never died to the Minotaur by himself.
SPEAKER_1: I've died to Theseus.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know that I've ever actually died to the Minotaur by himself.
SPEAKER_2: I've died to Spikes because Spikes are kind of a new thing.
SPEAKER_2: I've died to, like, a lot of the traps, because traps are a new thing, unless they're introduced in Pyre.
SPEAKER_2: Again, my knowledge of Pyre is very limited.
SPEAKER_2: But then my skill level plateaus, because, like, everyone sort of passes me, because you're getting used to it for what it is, and I am coming into it, oh, this is Bastion, this is Transistor, gives me this really weird progression in the story that doesn't make sense.
SPEAKER_2: I'm their edge case.
SPEAKER_2: Supergiant, hire me to bug test your games, because I'm good at breaking things, and I've proved it yet again.
SPEAKER_1: Once again, I have broken the game.
SPEAKER_2: So that's my biggest critique, I guess.
SPEAKER_1: But I think that this is absolutely a game that is made for, you've never played a Supergiant game before.
SPEAKER_1: This, to me, is the vibe of this game.
SPEAKER_1: For Wordsworth, I've seen lots of people who I know playing this game who either, like, weren't gamers or didn't play, like, indie games or only played, like, the big releases.
SPEAKER_1: This has really been kind of one of those games that everyone's playing.
SPEAKER_1: I looked on my Switch when I was playing Hades one time and there were six people online and five of them were playing Hades.
SPEAKER_1: Like, that's what this game is.
SPEAKER_2: We're back to Animal Crossing vibes, where I log on and ten people are...
SPEAKER_1: The sixth person was playing Animal Crossing.
SPEAKER_2: Of course, yes.
SPEAKER_1: Very much those vibes.
SPEAKER_1: It's a lot of fun.
SPEAKER_1: I'm not usually part of, like, cultural moments like this because I don't go games until several years later, so I don't know what's hangful price.
SPEAKER_1: I probably am going to go try Supergiant Games, but will it give me the same feeling that I get, you know?
SPEAKER_1: No, it won't because there's not, like, a way to replicate perfectly.
SPEAKER_1: Anyway, all of this is to say that, yes, you can tell that perhaps I've been craving Hades.
SPEAKER_1: And, yeah, I'll probably have to go back and play some other Supergiant Games, but also I just would like more things like this that just, like, get me excited about, like, oh man, I'm excited to die over and over and try and go back at it again.
SPEAKER_1: Because when a game can make me excited to die, then I know I'm having fun.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, in terms of other games that you could be excited to die in, I guess, give Mario Necromancer powers?
SPEAKER_1: Super Mario Hades.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, but the idea of like a Mario where you could like spawn a ghost Mario and jump on it is wicked cool.
SPEAKER_2: The Mario and Luigi games, but it's just Mario and Mario, but one of the Marios is an undead Mario.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, a Mario Roguelike is maybe the funniest thing I've ever heard.
SPEAKER_2: That's just Mario Maker.
SPEAKER_1: I guess.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, it is.
SPEAKER_1: Except Roguelike, I think you have to be able to, you know, go back to start and get stronger in some way.
SPEAKER_1: Because otherwise, any game where you're bad at it is a Roguelike.
SPEAKER_2: Wow, there's a lot of games that are Roguelike suddenly.
SPEAKER_1: Turns out any first person shooter is a Roguelike for me.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know.
SPEAKER_2: Call of Duty is actually the best Roguelike.
SPEAKER_1: My personal favorite Roguelike is Overwatch.
SPEAKER_1: Maybe one day I will kill my father in Overwatch.
SPEAKER_2: Winston is the father to all of us.
SPEAKER_1: We can talk about video games no longer.
SPEAKER_1: That's it.
SPEAKER_1: That's the limit is when Winston gets brought up, you got to shut it down.
SPEAKER_1: Winston is the point of no return.
SPEAKER_1: Do you want to tell me about what you're craving?
SPEAKER_2: I watched the first two episodes of Star Wars recently.
SPEAKER_2: And I've been messaging you about it, of course.
SPEAKER_2: And the reason is like, because I want to watch the Clone Wars.
SPEAKER_2: But I want to talk about fucking episode two for a second.
SPEAKER_1: No, let's get it.
SPEAKER_1: Listen.
SPEAKER_1: Hey everyone.
SPEAKER_1: You know how I said I wasn't going to bring a Star Wars craving?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: Turns out I didn't have to.
SPEAKER_1: We're getting into the Star Wars time.
SPEAKER_1: I'm going to start putting like timestamps in the description if you want to skip over all the Star Wars talk, but I shouldn't because it's going to be some wicked great Star Wars talk.
SPEAKER_1: Anyway, let's talk about episode two.
SPEAKER_2: My craving is the death of the 90s and early 2000s cool guy energy because holy shit, Anakin is just manipulative and bad.
SPEAKER_2: Holy shit.
SPEAKER_1: Anakin is Edward from Twilight.
SPEAKER_1: That is-
SPEAKER_2: No, he's so much worse.
SPEAKER_1: How is Anakin worse than Edward?
SPEAKER_1: Ash has also expressed this opinion and I don't understand.
SPEAKER_1: To me, they are basically on the same level.
SPEAKER_1: If you're going to try and tell me Edward's not a crypto-fash, that book was written by a Mormon.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know what you want.
SPEAKER_2: Now, it has been some time since I've read and or watched Twilight, so my memory is probably a little hazy there, but most of the time, Edward was like, if you don't love me, that sucks, and then Edward would quietly go off and try to kill himself and then end up being saved for some reason.
SPEAKER_2: Anakin straight up is like, every moment I'm not with you, I'm hurting.
SPEAKER_2: I'll fucking die if you ever leave me.
SPEAKER_2: I cannot be apart from you anymore.
SPEAKER_2: I would suffer.
SPEAKER_2: And then just forces himself on Padme in one scene.
SPEAKER_2: And then in like the next scene is like, and then you kissed me and now this is your fault.
SPEAKER_2: And it's like, fuck off.
SPEAKER_2: Holy shit.
SPEAKER_1: Anakin, I, first of all, I think there are more similarities between Anakin and Edward than you remember having watched the Twilight movies recently.
SPEAKER_1: There are different types of manipulation and they are both extremely manipulative.
SPEAKER_1: But I will say Anakin sucks so bad.
SPEAKER_1: He's just the worst.
SPEAKER_1: So many of the faults of the prequels are like, it doesn't communicate effectively enough what you're supposed to be feeling about all of the obviously fucked up things that are happening, right?
SPEAKER_2: I just want to say, The Fault In Our Stars is actually about Anakin because it's the stars and he's the fault in those stars.
SPEAKER_1: The Fault In Our Star Wars.
SPEAKER_2: It wasn't the war.
SPEAKER_2: It wasn't the narrative on clones or droids.
SPEAKER_2: It was Anakin.
SPEAKER_1: Anakin to me reads as such a realistic portrayal of a person, specific type of person that exists.
SPEAKER_1: And the fact that everyone just sort of goes along with his stuff and like doesn't challenge it outwardly, but like tries to make some sorts of like, oh, hey, maybe you shouldn't do that, but like doesn't really do anything about it is so realistic to the reality that like I can only imagine.
SPEAKER_1: Sorry.
SPEAKER_2: There's just a scene in episode two where he goes in, murders an entire village and then comes back and is like sad.
SPEAKER_2: And is like, to be clear, I didn't only kill the men, I killed the women and the children.
SPEAKER_2: And then Padme is like, we've all had hard days.
SPEAKER_1: Yes.
SPEAKER_1: No, Padme reacts to Anakin is absolutely fucking ridiculous.
SPEAKER_1: The only way that I am able to square it, the only way that I'm able to square it and that I'm able to make it make sense.
SPEAKER_1: And it doesn't fit with Padme's actual characterization.
SPEAKER_1: But if I imagine Padme as like a Democrat, then I can make it make sense.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, she is a politician, but like it's just so ridiculous to me.
SPEAKER_2: Everything about how Anakin is just the worst and is outwardly obviously the worst and doesn't even pretend to not be the worst.
SPEAKER_2: And everyone is just like, he's having a hard day.
SPEAKER_2: I've had a lot of hard days.
SPEAKER_2: I've never slaughtered a village.
SPEAKER_1: Right.
SPEAKER_1: But here's the thing.
SPEAKER_2: Including the children.
SPEAKER_1: Right.
SPEAKER_1: No, for sure.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, listen, this is like the last time Anakin's gonna...
SPEAKER_2: And then bragging about killing the children.
SPEAKER_1: This is not going to be the last time Anakin slaughters children.
SPEAKER_1: Here's my thing is, I think it sucks and is gross, and I don't think that the prequels frame it in the way that they should, which is, everyone should be able to tell that Anakin is a problem.
SPEAKER_2: And the fact that...
SPEAKER_2: That he is the bad person.
SPEAKER_1: Here's my argument as to why I think this is realistic, other than Padme, who I think is just like, you know, you deserve better.
SPEAKER_2: Poorly characterized, bad writing.
SPEAKER_1: Very poorly characterized.
SPEAKER_1: But I think the way the Jedi react to Anakin makes so much sense.
SPEAKER_1: It makes so much sense, the way that they react to Anakin, which is like, they don't do anything, because they're hoping he will be the savior.
SPEAKER_1: And they're just sort of like, well, you know...
SPEAKER_1: And this is something that I think does seem a little bit more intentional in kind of later seasons of The Clone Wars, is like, everyone kind of knows that Anakin is sketch.
SPEAKER_1: People are aware of it.
SPEAKER_1: It's even implied at certain points throughout the series that people know about Anakin and Padme.
SPEAKER_1: This is a thing that is known, and they're all just not addressing it, because he's useful for the war, he's useful as the chosen one.
SPEAKER_1: They don't really know how to deal with him, because he came in late, and he has attachments to his mother, and he was raised as a slave.
SPEAKER_1: There's this kind of, I think, I don't know whether it's intentional or not, but it's not made clear enough, that like, Anakin is bad, and people know this, and they're just sort of ignoring it.
SPEAKER_1: That to me feels so realistic to the way that people treat Anakin-like figures.
SPEAKER_2: Ignoring problems until they blow up?
SPEAKER_1: Yes.
SPEAKER_2: Could never be any institution.
SPEAKER_1: That's the Jedi way, right?
SPEAKER_1: That is the story of the Jedi.
SPEAKER_1: And on that level, I think, I wish that the prequels were more clear cut about that, because they also can't be too clear cut about the Jedi being bad, because the Jedi are supposed to be, at least on paper, the good guys.
SPEAKER_2: You have to be able to sell more Yoda toys.
SPEAKER_1: Exactly, exactly.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, we need the death of that specific archetype.
SPEAKER_1: I think Anakin is at its most toxic.
SPEAKER_1: I think Anakin, in a weird way, I think might have contributed to the death of that specific version of the archetype.
SPEAKER_1: I think it's continued on in certain ways, but Anakin was so far to the whiny, angry end of that spectrum that it was very...
SPEAKER_1: Man-child.
SPEAKER_1: Right.
SPEAKER_1: It was so man-child that I think it kind of gave people a wake-up call and were like, huh, we shouldn't do this.
SPEAKER_1: Hey, we shouldn't.
SPEAKER_1: We should, at the very least.
SPEAKER_1: We're not going to get better about our representations of men because we...
SPEAKER_2: We need to make different shitty archetypes.
SPEAKER_1: Right, we need some new shitty archetypes.
SPEAKER_1: Do you have more to say about episode two?
SPEAKER_2: No, well, I mean, yes, but probably not for now.
SPEAKER_1: No, why not now?
SPEAKER_2: There's always more time to talk about it.
SPEAKER_2: My one other thing, they cut to the wedding out of nowhere at the very end.
SPEAKER_2: It's like also the ending is bad.
SPEAKER_2: And also it never feels like Padme wants to be there.
SPEAKER_1: It doesn't.
SPEAKER_2: Why would they get married?
SPEAKER_2: She clearly doesn't want to get married.
SPEAKER_1: And it's not like she's like being pressured.
SPEAKER_1: She's a sitting senator.
SPEAKER_1: She has more power in this relationship.
SPEAKER_1: She's older.
SPEAKER_1: She's a sitting senator.
SPEAKER_2: She's like six years older.
SPEAKER_1: Also six years older.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: No, it's not.
SPEAKER_1: It's not good.
SPEAKER_1: So one of the things that Ash and I watched is the making of documentary for episode one, which is a documentary in which everyone knows the movie that they're making is bad.
SPEAKER_1: It's fantastic.
SPEAKER_1: But it's very hard to see like the actors for young Anakin and Padme, the two of them there.
SPEAKER_1: And you're like in those videos, like the child is something like, I think he's nine and Natalie Portman is 16.
SPEAKER_1: Like, right.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: It's super duper fucked.
SPEAKER_1: Star Wars is, I think, a series that has a lot of terrible heterosexual relationships in it.
SPEAKER_2: And no homosexual relationships.
SPEAKER_1: And no homosexual relationships, which like, I don't want them to try.
SPEAKER_2: Please, you can't even do straight people, right?
SPEAKER_2: Please stay away from our gays.
SPEAKER_1: Like, I know who in Star Wars is queer.
SPEAKER_1: I've decided.
SPEAKER_2: It's BB-8.
SPEAKER_1: Uh-huh, BB-8.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, no, I have my very long list of Star Wars queer headcanons.
SPEAKER_1: And it is not every character.
SPEAKER_1: Han Solo is straight.
SPEAKER_2: Luke, you're a gay man now.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know how to do with Darth Vader's Scottish voice.
SPEAKER_4: Did you hear about our Luke?
SPEAKER_4: He's a gay man now.
SPEAKER_1: No, I think one of the other fucked up parts about it is it's very unclear whether George Lucas think it's the worst.
SPEAKER_2: Like I just don't think that man should be allowed to touch sci fi again.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I think you're right.
SPEAKER_1: I think I also am like, you know, I don't know that Disney Star Wars is any better, but I am glad it's out of his hands.
SPEAKER_1: Clone Wars did a lot of work on Anakin.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know how you fix Attack of the Clones Anakin who is.
SPEAKER_2: I don't know, I'm looking forward to a well characterized character who I can hate rather than a character who is framed as you should like this character and I don't.
SPEAKER_1: Is that a good Star Wars conversation?
SPEAKER_2: I guess so.
SPEAKER_2: It solves my craving.
SPEAKER_2: We will just exterminate Anakin.
SPEAKER_1: We will exterminate Anakin and Anakin alike across the galaxy.
SPEAKER_1: That's my evil Sith plan.
SPEAKER_2: If you elect me as Sith, I will ban Anakin.
SPEAKER_2: I call it the Banakin.
SPEAKER_4: As your Supreme Chancellor, I will destroy all of the whiny, angsty, manipulative young men in the galaxy.
SPEAKER_1: Shall we talk about the fan craving?
SPEAKER_2: We could skip it.
SPEAKER_1: No, I don't think we can.
SPEAKER_1: We have a duty to the people, the people of this podcast.
SPEAKER_1: Alright, before we jump into it, hi, this is a content warning.
SPEAKER_1: We're going to be talking about cannibals.
SPEAKER_2: Before people hear the content warning, you gotta do the intro for the framing.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, framing, it's a framing, framing, it's a framing, framing.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, there once was a framing on the sea.
SPEAKER_2: We cannot deprive the people of the intro.
SPEAKER_2: Now let's talk about the content warning.
SPEAKER_1: I think it should be a sea shanty from now on because of this.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, so content warning, we're going to be talking about cannibalism for some fucking reason.
SPEAKER_1: Because you...
SPEAKER_1: Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_1: So this comes to us from at Monster Pure on Twitter.
SPEAKER_1: It says, Hey Salt Cravings, my craving is a little wordy.
SPEAKER_1: So I know sailors used to do cannibalism.
SPEAKER_1: It was normal.
SPEAKER_1: But like, why didn't they just fish?
SPEAKER_1: My craving is the answer to why didn't they just eat fish?
SPEAKER_1: For background, at Monster Pure is my roommate.
SPEAKER_1: We had a great conversation.
SPEAKER_1: And I think it needs to be asked.
SPEAKER_1: It's a question that needs to be asked.
SPEAKER_1: Why didn't they just eat fish?
SPEAKER_1: By the way, yes, it was extremely like, common to talk about, like, sailors doing cannibalism.
SPEAKER_1: There are paintings of it, of like, particularly Grease's examples.
SPEAKER_1: But it's like, generally accepted that like, this was a thing that happened often.
SPEAKER_2: I have, I have the answer.
SPEAKER_2: The thing is, I told you the answer, the correct answer last night.
SPEAKER_2: I would love nothing more than to solve this craving in like, two seconds because I do have the answer.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, so what's the answer, Clair?
SPEAKER_2: The answer to why didn't they just eat fish was because they love the taste of semen.
SPEAKER_1: Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_2: So we can move on, right?
SPEAKER_2: We don't have to talk about cannibalism now.
SPEAKER_1: No, I think we need to talk about, I think we need to talk about the issue.
SPEAKER_1: I'm sorry, everybody.
SPEAKER_2: I tried.
SPEAKER_1: You tried, but no.
SPEAKER_1: Because here's the thing.
SPEAKER_1: Why didn't they just eat fish?
SPEAKER_1: Because it's not like they didn't know how to fish.
SPEAKER_2: Because they love the taste of semen.
SPEAKER_1: They know how to fish, presumably.
SPEAKER_1: They could have lived off fish.
SPEAKER_1: It's not like humans were giving them the nutrition they needed that fish didn't.
SPEAKER_1: They could have lived off fish for a while and even with supplies run out, you could fish.
SPEAKER_2: So were they literally eating each other while they were on a boat in the middle of an ocean?
SPEAKER_2: Or was this like sailors after they come back?
SPEAKER_1: It's usually when they get shipwrecked that they tend to get into cannibalism.
SPEAKER_1: Sometimes, yeah.
SPEAKER_2: So they don't have their fishing equipment?
SPEAKER_1: I assume they would have something.
SPEAKER_1: If you were on a deserted island, you could make the things you needed to fish.
SPEAKER_1: I bet that you could.
SPEAKER_2: That is easier said than done.
SPEAKER_2: Also, like, fish aren't near islands, right?
SPEAKER_2: Deserted islands usually?
SPEAKER_1: Sometimes they are.
SPEAKER_2: Probably less fish, though.
SPEAKER_2: And if you have like 30 people on an island, I bet you deplete the island's resources in under a year.
SPEAKER_1: That's true.
SPEAKER_2: Depending on the size of the island.
SPEAKER_1: Usually they would die before a year, to be clear.
SPEAKER_1: But also like sometimes there would come times when they were just like on the sea on their voyage and they would resort to cannibalism.
SPEAKER_1: And I don't understand how that happens.
SPEAKER_1: I don't understand how you get to that point so fast.
SPEAKER_1: Is it just like a thing where it's like, all right, we're all going to try and catch fish.
SPEAKER_1: And if anyone doesn't catch a fish, that's it.
SPEAKER_2: Last one to catch a fish gets eaten.
SPEAKER_2: You are the fish.
SPEAKER_1: Some pirate captain or sailor captain, I guess, is just like, all right.
SPEAKER_1: So we're out of supplies.
SPEAKER_1: We're going to catch fish.
SPEAKER_1: If anyone at the end of the day doesn't catch a fish, I'm sorry you're not pulling your weight and we're going to eat you.
SPEAKER_1: Sir, I don't think we need to go to quite that extent.
SPEAKER_1: No, we have to eat them.
SPEAKER_1: It's the only way.
SPEAKER_1: It's the only way we're going to get through this.
SPEAKER_1: And then that day, everyone catches a fish.
SPEAKER_1: The next day and he's like, okay, if any of you catch only one fish, we're going to eat you.
SPEAKER_1: Everyone catches two fish.
SPEAKER_1: All right, if anyone catches only two fish, sir, we have enough fish for everyone.
SPEAKER_1: No.
SPEAKER_2: This sounds like what we're talking about is a cannibalist conspiracy theory to become sailors.
SPEAKER_2: Maybe the cannibals were sneaking in to be sailors as like a cover, right?
SPEAKER_2: Because if I am a sailor, I love fish.
SPEAKER_2: There's no way I love the taste of human flesh.
SPEAKER_2: Just think about Hannibal.
SPEAKER_2: If they had an entire season where Hannibal became a seaman, no one would like, no, he eats fish.
SPEAKER_2: What are you talking about?
SPEAKER_2: He goes and he fishes.
SPEAKER_2: Of course, he doesn't eat people.
SPEAKER_1: I think it's so funny, the idea that it's easier to teach cannibals to be sailors than it is to teach cannibals to be sailors to be cannibals, to be cannibals to be sailors.
SPEAKER_2: Look, you teach a cannibal to fish, he eats for a day.
SPEAKER_2: You teach a cannibal how to blend in with the fishermen, he eats for the rest of his life.
SPEAKER_1: Really for the rest of their lives.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: The idea that people, that there was like this secret underground cannibal community, they're all just like, you know what, I've heard that on ships, it's really easy to justify cannibals.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, maybe I should become a sailor.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, wait, I should also become a sailor.
SPEAKER_1: On a different boat, on a different boat, of course.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I just love the idea that like, first day on the boat, they like get on the boat, and like, fuck shit, Paul, you weren't supposed to be...
SPEAKER_2: Don't fucking blow my cover, man.
SPEAKER_2: We're cool, right?
SPEAKER_1: No, listen, we'll just split half of it.
SPEAKER_1: It's totally fine.
SPEAKER_2: And then it's just the two of them, like, flash forward two months later on the deck with just like fish in their hands, trying to like eat each other.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, and that's...
SPEAKER_2: They're using the fish as knives.
SPEAKER_2: It's like a knife fight, but with fish.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, that's the TV show.
SPEAKER_1: That's the TV show Hannibal to me.
SPEAKER_2: Does this answer the question?
SPEAKER_2: They love the taste of semen.
SPEAKER_2: Or because there's a secret society that becomes sailors in order to hide that they love human flesh.
SPEAKER_2: It's one of the two.
SPEAKER_2: That's the answer.
SPEAKER_1: I think that those make sense to me.
SPEAKER_2: This is my binary.
SPEAKER_2: I've created the only good binary.
SPEAKER_1: The only good binary is semen or cannibal secret society.
SPEAKER_3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_1: Well, I guess we can move past that one.
SPEAKER_2: Bless.
SPEAKER_1: In the interest of the vibes, I gotta get into some discourse.
SPEAKER_1: Of course, that's why I'm craving for non-binary AFAB lesbians to remember that trans women exist.
SPEAKER_2: Do we, though?
SPEAKER_2: Have you ever actually felt like you exist?
SPEAKER_2: I don't know.
SPEAKER_1: Seemed kind of problematic to exist.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know about you.
SPEAKER_1: I've noticed a trend in a lot of online spaces and a lot of spaces in general of just like, even when it's like not intentional, there's definitely a vibe of like, ah, yes, this is the trans experience, is to grow up being expected to be a woman and then be alienated from womanhood and to realize that you're not actually a woman.
SPEAKER_1: And that seems to be a certain sort of new trans experience, which is the experience for lots of people, but it is absolutely, and I don't know that it's new, but this seems to be a kind of often the narrative.
SPEAKER_1: And it's just like, I've always just like, do y'all know about the rest of us?
SPEAKER_1: We're also here.
SPEAKER_2: I'm just waiting for the book, Transness, from a certain point of view.
SPEAKER_1: Nightmare.
SPEAKER_1: All cis authors.
SPEAKER_1: But yeah, that's my craving here.
SPEAKER_1: Hey, we are also part of the lesbian community.
SPEAKER_1: You can also, it turns out, be trans and a lesbian the other way, it turns out.
SPEAKER_2: The other way, which I think is like when we talk about the lesbian experience in big quotes right there.
SPEAKER_2: On top of that, on top of the non-binary identity, and then we look at the historical understanding of lesbian being the end goal means I don't have to date a man as like a radical idea in like the sexual revolution and the gender revolution.
SPEAKER_2: It makes sense why, you know, they feel because they can claim lesbian.
SPEAKER_2: And also is the same reason we can.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, totally, right?
SPEAKER_2: I mean, in terms of like your craving, I think it would just be like, it feels like a lot of baby transes coming in from like, this is my experience and this is the experience.
SPEAKER_2: I feel like we've all been in some aspect of that.
SPEAKER_2: Probably not that specifically, but definitely the like, especially, and this relates back to like the going on hormones.
SPEAKER_2: Puberty is a lot of like feelings, intense feelings, and that can exemplify this is my way of existence and no one can tell me otherwise, or else they are like be, or else they are being shitty is the thing.
SPEAKER_2: And then that can then feed into like bad ideologies, like how we see trans people recreating turf rhetoric over and over again.
SPEAKER_1: For real.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, that is part of this is like, so yeah, I think in general, a lot of folks who are just kind of now coming to terms with their genders, there's been definitely, I think, in quarantine, a move for lots of folks to start to recognize and reckon with what their genders are, which I think is so good.
SPEAKER_1: And I'm so glad that people are coming to terms and working out how they feel about themselves and their gender and their understanding.
SPEAKER_1: And I think it's also just like maybe a testament to what communities currently exist, that when they conceive of transness and of their own transness and the general kind of trend that trans women have no part in it, that it is all this kind of very particular type of experience of womanhood being a thing that they are now realizing they're alienated from, that they don't understand, all those things.
SPEAKER_1: And that's their experience, but there's a point where it's like, but do y'all know how to act around?
SPEAKER_1: Do y'all feel like you are in, you know, in general it feels like, for a lot of them, it's like, do y'all feel like you are in community with other trans people, including trans women, or are you in community with other AFAB folks?
SPEAKER_1: Like, cause that, a lot of the time, is how it feels to me.
SPEAKER_1: It's like, sometimes-
SPEAKER_2: You ever been to a party where we're the only trans women?
SPEAKER_1: Yes.
SPEAKER_2: Brianna?
SPEAKER_1: Every party that we've been to, yes.
SPEAKER_1: Not every party, but a lot of them.
SPEAKER_2: Every major party, it definitely feels like it.
SPEAKER_1: But a lot of them, it truly feels that way.
SPEAKER_1: And it's like, these other communities exist and are going through things and are doing things.
SPEAKER_1: And as it turns out, there's a lot of folks who, I don't think know, know what to do with all of that, right?
SPEAKER_1: Because I think it's easy when your gender relies on, and is a core part of your gender, is alienation from a womanhood that's been pushed onto you, that it's difficult to see embrace of womanhood as a radical act, which it is for trans women.
SPEAKER_1: And so I think unintentionally, people end up replicating a lot of trans misogynistic rhetoric, or just ignoring it.
SPEAKER_2: Or just misogynistic rhetoric.
SPEAKER_1: Yes.
SPEAKER_2: Just to TLDR my understanding of what you're saying, and what I think how I would put it, is there's this idea that transness and womanhood are juxtaposed ideas, and they're not.
SPEAKER_1: Right.
SPEAKER_2: Like period.
SPEAKER_2: That's just not true.
SPEAKER_2: It's like saying transness and manhood are juxtaposed ideas.
SPEAKER_2: I feel like a lot of people would recognize that that's not true.
SPEAKER_2: But for some reason, there's this mainstream.
SPEAKER_2: And I won't even blame a lot of baby trans people.
SPEAKER_2: I just want to finish that, because also not just baby trans people, a lot of trans people, because it's a lot of people.
SPEAKER_2: Period.
SPEAKER_2: Because this is the mainstream idea, this is what cis people have picked up on, that transness means not womanhood.
SPEAKER_2: That is what a cis understanding of transness has become in a lot of places.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: It's one thing to understand your own gender as being juxtaposed to womanhood, right, or not identifying with a lot of parts of womanhood.
SPEAKER_1: And it's another thing to sort of exclusively surround yourself with people whose understanding of transness is that, right?
SPEAKER_1: And to like...
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, you do end up falling into a pattern where it's like you don't understand or know how to act around trans women and don't know how to include them in your community.
SPEAKER_1: Because it's complicated when you have to see trans people who identify with the thing that you do not identify with.
SPEAKER_1: And also when trans women have, in general, been heavily marginalized and stigmatized even within trans communities.
SPEAKER_2: The one other thing that I would say is really notorious is even within a lot of spaces that like narratively forefront trans women, I think a lot about how like a lot of marches in Vancouver were like, save trans women.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_2: But like within those spaces, you get the same rhetoric.
SPEAKER_2: So like, it's a lot of unconscious rhetoric, which sucks because you can't directly engage with that as easily.
SPEAKER_2: People think they're good and that they're not.
SPEAKER_2: Which is the human story, right?
SPEAKER_2: Like we should always be willing to unlearn our shitty behavior.
SPEAKER_2: Like when you're first starting to understand your own gender, it can be hard to be called out on your own understanding of gender because it's what cis people are trying to do to you.
SPEAKER_2: And now you feel betrayed.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, and it's like, and you know, it's important for you to understand your gender however you want to.
SPEAKER_1: And it's great.
SPEAKER_1: And also, you know, then you have to be like, well, what does it mean to be in community with other people?
SPEAKER_1: A lot of this, I think, is why it's so easy for, like, cryptoturfs to, like, infiltrate certain spaces and, like, for their ideas to become, like, a part of this.
SPEAKER_1: Once you have accepted the idea that, like, gender doesn't matter and that we shouldn't bother with having genders and that it is inherently better to not be aligned with any particular gender, it's very easy for that to make the crossover into, like, and people who are, particularly trans women, are, like, archaic or...
SPEAKER_2: Are doing it for personal gain.
SPEAKER_1: Doing it for personal gain.
SPEAKER_2: Which, on some level, like, yeah, because the personal gain is I don't feel like my brain is exploding.
SPEAKER_2: Yes, exactly.
SPEAKER_2: That could be argued as a personal gain.
SPEAKER_2: It's a pretty good personal gain, you know?
SPEAKER_2: But they're thinking a lot more notorious evil scheming things.
SPEAKER_2: Which, you know, comes from a projection of their own understandings of gender.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Which sucks.
SPEAKER_1: The last thing that I'll say on this is, like, I've seen talk of how it is lesbophobic to say that lesbian spaces often have a lot of transphobia in them.
SPEAKER_2: Hmm.
SPEAKER_2: That's like, hmm.
SPEAKER_2: OK, I hadn't seen that.
SPEAKER_2: That's wrong.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, it's incorrect.
SPEAKER_2: Hey, it's never actually a discrimination to call out a space for having another form of discrimination.
SPEAKER_1: Totally.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: There is a real big racist problem in the gay community.
SPEAKER_2: This isn't homophobic.
SPEAKER_1: Right.
SPEAKER_2: Fuck you if you think it is.
SPEAKER_2: The same thing.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, anyways.
SPEAKER_1: The point is, is like, make sure that your lesbian and especially like non-binary lesbian and trans lesbian spaces, which like trans lesbians are term, your non-binary lesbian spaces and lesbian spaces and queer spaces in general are actively including trans women and are not like saying shit that's like implying that trans women are lesser or bad.
SPEAKER_2: And if you're moderating these spaces, when you like you see people say this shit, I get that it can be hard to like speak up and like call that shit out because you under, I feel like a lot of us understand that we're all very traumatized and like being called out can feel like an attack.
SPEAKER_2: It's not, but it can feel like one to a lot of people.
SPEAKER_2: One thing I will say, a phrase that really succinctly put it, arguments are not abuse.
SPEAKER_2: You can get into an argument, it's not abuse.
SPEAKER_2: Just so you know that there are certain, you know, there can be abuse in arguments, but it is not inherently the other way.
SPEAKER_2: And so you can have these arguments in your trans spaces in a way that protects people.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, totally.
SPEAKER_1: At the core of this episode is the belief that arguments are not abusive.
SPEAKER_1: Anakin Skywalker.
SPEAKER_2: Anakin Skywalker, the original crypto-fascist, bordering into crypto-terf.
SPEAKER_2: Anakin is a terf, it turns out.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, anyway, that's my fun discourse craving.
SPEAKER_1: Recognize how your spaces could better include people whose understandings of gender are not the same as yours.
SPEAKER_1: But I honestly probably have more crossover than you think.
SPEAKER_1: All right, back to the non-discourse cravings.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, assuming, I don't know what craving you've got next.
SPEAKER_1: Tell me your craving.
SPEAKER_2: My craving is discourse-free, obviously, because I'm bringing a different vibe tonight.
SPEAKER_1: Right.
SPEAKER_2: My craving, as I have it written, is real life mechas.
SPEAKER_2: Pew pew, no consequences.
SPEAKER_1: All right, why?
SPEAKER_2: So you know how driving is cool and fun?
SPEAKER_2: What if you did that but in space in a big robot?
SPEAKER_1: Okay, that does sound cool and fun.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, you know how some people don't think driving is cool and fun because they drive in cities and it can be stressful?
SPEAKER_2: Have you ever driven on a back road where there's nobody and like you can just go in any direction?
SPEAKER_1: I haven't, but I understand the appeal.
SPEAKER_2: What if you could go in all the directions because you're a floating robot and you can move your limbs and fly because you're a big cool robot?
SPEAKER_1: The concept of going for a rip in a mech is so good to me.
SPEAKER_2: For a rip or your butt and then the camera pans and they're just in like this huge fucking golden mecha with like a giant sword.
SPEAKER_1: So for a rip or your butt, counterweight music starts playing.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, let's talk about real life mechas.
SPEAKER_1: Let's talk about what would be required.
SPEAKER_2: With no consequences.
SPEAKER_2: How do we get there?
SPEAKER_2: Because we can't fund the US military.
SPEAKER_2: Also, I feel like there are consequences in Heaven Will Be Mine.
SPEAKER_1: Yes, but one of the core things about Heaven Will Be Mine is mechs can't kill each other or their pilots.
SPEAKER_1: That's not a thing that mechs are capable of doing.
SPEAKER_1: So that's, I think, a core and important part of our mech design.
SPEAKER_1: No mechs that are actually capable of killing other mechs.
SPEAKER_1: They can have some cool duels.
SPEAKER_1: But like, they gotta be able to regenerate or something.
SPEAKER_2: You ever just want to have your arm cut off and then have it regenerate?
SPEAKER_1: Yes, in a cool sword fight in space that rocks.
SPEAKER_1: I love it.
SPEAKER_1: So there's that.
SPEAKER_1: That's, to me, part one of No Consequences.
SPEAKER_1: So here's a consideration.
SPEAKER_1: Space.
SPEAKER_1: So here's the thing that I know about space.
SPEAKER_1: I know this is pretty technical, but you can't breathe in space and it's very difficult to live in space.
SPEAKER_2: So because there's no mitochlorians in space, right?
SPEAKER_1: Exactly.
SPEAKER_1: And also no gravity and also no air.
SPEAKER_2: Well, there is gravity.
SPEAKER_2: Anyway, I won't get.
SPEAKER_1: Anyways, I'm minimal for less gravity.
SPEAKER_2: That's I mean, what's how do you feel about space, Brianna?
SPEAKER_2: Tell me about how you feel about space.
SPEAKER_1: Listen, I love space, but I also recognize that trying to live there would be very difficult.
SPEAKER_1: I think space is rad.
SPEAKER_1: And also, I'm aware that your muscles will atrophy if you aren't doing constant exercising in space.
SPEAKER_1: So here's the thing that we definitely need is we need some gravity.
SPEAKER_1: Can we just put like gravity generators and all the mechs?
SPEAKER_1: Do you think?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, otherwise you're just like floating around the cockpit, which I guess could work.
SPEAKER_2: I guess you could do it.
SPEAKER_2: Probably.
SPEAKER_2: I feel like you'd get into an emergency situation, not be able to respond fast enough.
SPEAKER_2: So there's definitely like you're just plugged in.
SPEAKER_1: I have another question about this.
SPEAKER_1: Is it one mech per person?
SPEAKER_3: Do you really want more than one mech?
SPEAKER_1: No, no, no.
SPEAKER_1: To be clear.
SPEAKER_2: Do you want it to be like a car share?
SPEAKER_2: It's a mech share.
SPEAKER_1: Is it everyone is going for ripping their own mechs?
SPEAKER_2: No, we can have a mech share.
SPEAKER_2: It's kind of like you park them at the edge of a street.
SPEAKER_2: And it's like, oh, I want I want the one that looks like a giant beetle today.
SPEAKER_1: I was thinking more like I like that.
SPEAKER_1: I was thinking more like, like, could you have multiple people in one mech?
SPEAKER_2: Oh, for sure.
SPEAKER_2: For sure.
SPEAKER_1: Like sort of a Power Rangers or Voltron situation.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I don't see why not.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, that's just like that's just orgies.
SPEAKER_2: But in machines.
SPEAKER_1: Sorry.
SPEAKER_1: I just really want to make sure I heard you right.
SPEAKER_1: Are you saying that Power Rangers or Voltron style mechs are just orgies in Battle orgies.
SPEAKER_2: Giant machines.
SPEAKER_1: Okay.
SPEAKER_1: Can you say more about that?
SPEAKER_2: A combinable mecha is a battle orgy.
SPEAKER_2: You use the power of orgy to combat the powers of evil.
SPEAKER_1: So I just I really want to be clear here.
SPEAKER_1: Why is it an orgy?
SPEAKER_1: Is multiple people in a car an orgy?
SPEAKER_2: Do the cars slot into each other?
SPEAKER_1: I don't.
SPEAKER_2: When when one of you goes completely inside the other, becoming one entity, I don't think that's an orgy.
SPEAKER_3: You don't just slip into another person completely.
SPEAKER_2: I feel like becoming one being inside of each other has a lot of sexual energy.
SPEAKER_1: I don't remember that from the Power Rangers show, but I also don't know enough about this to say that you're wrong.
SPEAKER_2: It was in the deleted scenes, for sure.
SPEAKER_2: Just trust me on that one.
SPEAKER_1: In all the Power Rangers deleted scenes, there is just them going, wow, it feels so good to be inside you right now.
SPEAKER_1: This is just like an orgy, but in mechs.
SPEAKER_2: I love being your foot.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I love being feet.
SPEAKER_1: I am so excited to be on top of this mech.
SPEAKER_1: It's like being a top, being the head of the mech.
SPEAKER_2: Can you give me some head?
SPEAKER_2: I need head right now.
SPEAKER_2: Please, we need to finally form Voltron.
SPEAKER_2: Please give head.
SPEAKER_1: I like to imagine that as a series of texts sent extremely distressed to whoever pilots the head part of the mech.
SPEAKER_2: Can I get a hand over here, please?
SPEAKER_1: Oh yeah, you want a handy?
SPEAKER_1: Is that what you want?
SPEAKER_1: This is dreadful.
SPEAKER_1: This is awful.
SPEAKER_2: There's no consequences.
SPEAKER_1: Mechs can be horny.
SPEAKER_1: I'm not disagreeing with that.
SPEAKER_1: I just don't know that mechs are horny in Power Rangers.
SPEAKER_2: Maybe not in Power Rangers.
SPEAKER_2: Though I do feel like some of the enemies are kind of a little erotic at times.
SPEAKER_1: Well, that's just true of villains, because sex is evil.
SPEAKER_2: Sex is evil?
SPEAKER_2: Oh shit, we can't have mecha sex if the mechs aren't evil.
SPEAKER_2: Alright, so I've tossed out the no consequences.
SPEAKER_2: All the mechs are evil now.
SPEAKER_2: We're recreating the entire mech genre, and they're all sexy.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, so two things.
SPEAKER_1: First off, why can the mechs not have sex if they're not evil?
SPEAKER_2: Because sex is evil.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, yeah, that makes sense.
SPEAKER_1: Second thing, what do you mean by the mechs are evil?
SPEAKER_2: Well, when you're like, yo, mech, are you good or bad?
SPEAKER_2: And they go, mm, bad.
SPEAKER_4: I'm the bad mech.
SPEAKER_2: And then you're like, there's no way my mech is bad.
SPEAKER_2: I'm the pilot.
SPEAKER_2: And then the mech goes, mm, evil.
SPEAKER_1: And it's a sitcom.
SPEAKER_2: Whomp, whomp.
SPEAKER_2: Mechie, you blew up that entire civilization.
SPEAKER_2: Mechie shrugs.
SPEAKER_3: Oh, Mechie.
SPEAKER_2: Whomp, whomp.
SPEAKER_1: A mech sitcom is a fucking nightmare to me.
SPEAKER_1: That is a nightmare.
SPEAKER_2: You destroyed half of that species.
SPEAKER_2: They'll never be able to repopulate in time.
SPEAKER_2: And they'll probably go extinct.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, Mechie.
SPEAKER_3: Kinmechs have babies?
SPEAKER_2: Are there baby mechs?
SPEAKER_1: God, you're skipping past a lot of stuff that I'm still thinking about.
SPEAKER_3: He's still processing.
SPEAKER_1: I'm still kind of processing the fact that to you, evil means two things.
SPEAKER_3: They say that they're evil.
SPEAKER_1: And then they destroy entire civilization.
SPEAKER_3: There's no in between.
SPEAKER_1: There are only two types of evil.
SPEAKER_2: I'm feeling evil today, cute, angry face.
SPEAKER_2: And I have destroyed entire species and women and children.
SPEAKER_2: Please feel bad for me.
SPEAKER_2: I had a bad day.
SPEAKER_2: My name is Anakin Skywalker.
SPEAKER_1: Those are the two types of like villains.
SPEAKER_1: Honestly, except for the third type of villain, who is the villain who wants revolutionary change, of course.
SPEAKER_2: Was the Death Star a mech?
SPEAKER_1: No, it was a space station.
SPEAKER_2: Why not?
SPEAKER_2: But what if the Death Star could turn into a mech?
SPEAKER_2: I'm just saying Darth Vader should have been a mech pilot.
SPEAKER_1: Hey, why wasn't that the thing in fucking episode 9?
SPEAKER_1: That should have been the fucking thing.
SPEAKER_1: It should have been the new Death Star.
SPEAKER_1: It's just a Death Star mech.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, that would have been terrifying.
SPEAKER_2: And then the Death Star mech has sex with other Death Stars.
SPEAKER_2: That's how you know it's evil.
SPEAKER_1: And not because it's an imperialist?
SPEAKER_2: Yup.
SPEAKER_2: It's only because it starts, like, humping another Death Star.
SPEAKER_1: Well, I don't know.
SPEAKER_1: It's hard to tell because on the one hand...
SPEAKER_2: They're flying fascist flags, but...
SPEAKER_1: So I'm gonna say anti-hero for sure.
SPEAKER_1: That's Kylo Ren.
SPEAKER_1: Why did you introduce the idea of real life mechs and then immediately ruin it?
SPEAKER_1: Why did you say you craved it and then ruined it?
SPEAKER_2: I craved no consequences, and then I realized we can't do mechs with no consequences.
SPEAKER_1: It's true.
SPEAKER_4: That doesn't exist.
SPEAKER_1: It turns out when you build giant military technology, it has consequences.
SPEAKER_2: Are you telling me that technology has consequences?
SPEAKER_1: Oh, I don't want to be radical.
SPEAKER_1: I think it's mostly about phones.
SPEAKER_1: I think it's actually phones are bad because they distract people.
SPEAKER_2: I don't want to skip over Brianna Price.
SPEAKER_2: I don't want to be radical.
SPEAKER_1: Yes.
SPEAKER_1: No, no, I just, I think, I think it's too radical to say that technology can be evil.
SPEAKER_1: You know, we all love the dancing robot dogs.
SPEAKER_1: So like maybe it's just because you be on that phone.
SPEAKER_1: And maybe that's when technology is evil, is when you're on your phone and you're not paying attention to the family.
SPEAKER_2: And then just log off, get cottage core.
SPEAKER_2: And there's no way that can be fascist.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, can you, what if we just like logged off and then it's no longer technology, no longer can control us and no longer can influence us if we simply don't engage with technology.
SPEAKER_2: It's like, you know, what's going to protect you from the 5G waves getting into a mech because then you have 6G waves and that's better.
SPEAKER_1: What if we did non technological mechs?
SPEAKER_1: Therefore, they would have no consequences.
SPEAKER_2: Wooden mechs.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, magic mechs.
SPEAKER_2: Like a house.
SPEAKER_2: What if your house could turn into a mech?
SPEAKER_1: That'd be good.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, turn the house into a mech.
SPEAKER_1: It does beg the question of how to like, you know, I'm in a basement suite.
SPEAKER_1: Is it all one mech or is it two mechs for the people that are upstairs versus the people that are downstairs?
SPEAKER_2: I think it's one mech that sometimes the pilots just don't communicate.
SPEAKER_2: And I mean, if you ever fly into combat, you're going to have...
SPEAKER_2: There's the drama, there's the story.
SPEAKER_2: You have to work together with your neighbors to fight off the metal mechs because wood is better, wood is superior.
SPEAKER_1: Is a tenancy union a mech?
SPEAKER_1: Well, a tenancy union is a mech because you work together with your neighbors to fight off evil.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, fuck it.
SPEAKER_2: A union is a mech.
SPEAKER_2: And as we know, all mechs are good.
SPEAKER_2: So that means unions are good.
SPEAKER_4: Get in the fucking union, Shinji.
SPEAKER_2: I feel like this has been Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_1: I think it has also been Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_1: The vibes, they went through sort of a blender, I think.
SPEAKER_1: There's a lot of mixing and vibing and chilling.
SPEAKER_1: And I think that artifact really helped influence this episode.
SPEAKER_2: Should I bring the artifact back?
SPEAKER_1: No, I don't think you need to do that.
SPEAKER_1: I don't think you need to bring back the talisman.
SPEAKER_2: I think it's working.
SPEAKER_1: I'm going to kill you.
SPEAKER_1: I'm going to kill you and I'm going to end this podcast.
SPEAKER_1: It's working.
SPEAKER_1: You can find Salt Cravings on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_2: You can go donate into the description.
SPEAKER_2: I guess not donate into that.
SPEAKER_2: You can click links into the description to find places where you can donate with your money.
SPEAKER_1: You should do that.
SPEAKER_1: Go look for some folks who need it.
SPEAKER_2: We have rating systems in place.
SPEAKER_2: We've contacted the podcast association and we have created a rating system.
SPEAKER_2: It's very unique.
SPEAKER_2: It goes from one to five.
SPEAKER_2: The only correct answer is five for us.
SPEAKER_2: You can tell us the best mech sex position.
SPEAKER_1: We actually legally need you to rate at five because that's sort of how explicit works.
SPEAKER_1: And this episode is definitely explicit.
SPEAKER_1: So you have to give it five stars because five stars equals explicit podcast.
SPEAKER_1: And this is absolutely an explicit podcast if you couldn't tell.
SPEAKER_2: If you want to send in your Cravings, there's still time.
SPEAKER_2: You can submit them at submissions at saltcravings.com.
SPEAKER_2: You can tweet them at us.
SPEAKER_2: You can Facebook them at us.
SPEAKER_2: You could link in them at us.
SPEAKER_2: You can't.
SPEAKER_2: We don't have LinkedIn.
SPEAKER_2: But you can tweet them to us as is shown today.
SPEAKER_2: This is one of the last episodes of Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_2: As we talked about last time, send in ideas about what you would like to see so far.
SPEAKER_2: What we do know is there's going to be a stream.
SPEAKER_2: There's going to be a charity involved of some sort.
SPEAKER_1: Once we have more info, we'll give you more info.
SPEAKER_1: But thank you for listening to our podcast.
SPEAKER_1: Thank you for enjoying it.
SPEAKER_1: And as we always say, talisman.