SPEAKER_1: There is a void that exists between dimensions, where nothing stays only moves.
SPEAKER_1: It is a place for travel, for those who would hop between worlds, concepts, and as many bits as you can imagine.
SPEAKER_1: Inside this void, if you catch it at the right time, you would see a room in its path moving between dimensions.
SPEAKER_1: It is tough to catch, as soon as it appears it has gone off to another dimension.
SPEAKER_1: If you can catch it though, you'll see something fairly simple.
SPEAKER_1: Two women, two microphones, two computers.
SPEAKER_1: It is at most a curiosity.
SPEAKER_1: And yet, over the past three years, this room has moved between dimensions an unfathomable amount.
SPEAKER_1: Dystopias, fantasies, worlds of science and magic, carrying new creations to each destination spurred ever on by Cravings.
SPEAKER_1: For what is there to organize the universe by other than Cravings?
SPEAKER_1: At its heart, with salt cravings itself, not just another craving.
SPEAKER_1: This podcast, this room moving between dimensions, has seeked to solve them all.
SPEAKER_1: To fix and meet every craving that there is.
SPEAKER_1: But the truth is, they will always be moving.
SPEAKER_1: The world will continue turning, and the cravings will come forever.
SPEAKER_1: Welcome to Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_1: This is episode 68.
SPEAKER_1: My name is Brianna.
SPEAKER_2: Do you ever think we're maybe a little too dramatic?
SPEAKER_1: Absolutely the fuck not.
SPEAKER_1: We are not too dramatic at all.
SPEAKER_1: There was nothing dramatic about that.
SPEAKER_2: I almost interrupted you five times, not on purpose, but because I was containing myself as you cold read that for the first time with no warning.
SPEAKER_1: I wanted to give you that experience.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, you gave me...
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, uh-huh.
SPEAKER_1: Do you want to answer?
SPEAKER_2: I mean, you did.
SPEAKER_2: That's the podcast.
SPEAKER_2: Welcome.
SPEAKER_2: We're going to talk about Cravings, I guess.
SPEAKER_1: We are.
SPEAKER_1: It is the penultimate episode of Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_1: Top of the show.
SPEAKER_1: Reminder, we'll get into it more at the end of the episode, but July 1st to the 4th, that's going to be our livestream, where we close out this show and play a bunch of games.
SPEAKER_1: The first and second, it's going to be, the plan is to go from noon to 10 p.m.
SPEAKER_1: And then on the 3rd and the 4th, we're probably going to be going from 10 a.m.
SPEAKER_1: to 10 p.m.
SPEAKER_1: And we are going to be recording the final episode Saturday, July 3rd, 11 a.m.
SPEAKER_1: 11 a.m.
SPEAKER_1: PST, that's Pacific Time.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, sorry, this is all PS.
SPEAKER_1: Technically, it's daylight savings, so it's actually PDT right now.
SPEAKER_2: Nobody remembers that there's a...
SPEAKER_1: I did.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, all right.
SPEAKER_1: I dated that makes me better than everyone, and so I needed to point that out.
SPEAKER_2: All right, here's your D, Brianna.
SPEAKER_2: You remembered the D, so there you go.
SPEAKER_1: Got them.
SPEAKER_1: I feel fucking owned.
SPEAKER_1: But yeah, that's all Pacific Time.
SPEAKER_1: Come by, hang out.
SPEAKER_2: We can hang out and be friends.
SPEAKER_1: We can hang out and be friends and...
SPEAKER_2: Vibe and raise money for charity.
SPEAKER_1: All right, Clair, hit me with your first craving.
SPEAKER_2: I'll do that too, I guess.
SPEAKER_1: Also your best shot.
SPEAKER_1: Give this craving your best shot.
SPEAKER_2: Shit.
SPEAKER_1: Hit it out of the park.
SPEAKER_2: Shit, okay.
SPEAKER_1: I know you can't.
SPEAKER_1: If you can do this and I can do that, I don't dance with it out of the park.
SPEAKER_2: A few episodes ago, or an episode ago, I don't know, time is fake, I brought up having an attention span as a craving.
SPEAKER_2: What I would like to solve more recently is sort of a result of that.
SPEAKER_2: I like the ability to want to read again.
SPEAKER_2: I don't know if other people get into this mind frame, but I will go months, if not almost a year, where I do not want to read at all.
SPEAKER_2: The idea of reading is laborious to me.
SPEAKER_2: And then just one day, I will pick up a book and I will read like four books.
SPEAKER_2: And then I'll like run out of books to read, or like I'll pick up a particularly slow book or one that doesn't jive with the rhythm of like how I was reading, and I'll just be back for like another year of like not reading.
SPEAKER_2: So I just, I want the flint to kickstart this early, right?
SPEAKER_2: Like I need the little sticks, I need the reading sticks that I can rub together so that I can want to read more.
SPEAKER_1: Totally.
SPEAKER_1: What if?
SPEAKER_1: Now, I think this is a brilliant solution that you're going to love.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, I love this already.
SPEAKER_1: I think this is a brilliant solution.
SPEAKER_1: What if you trick your brain into reading by thinking that instead of reading, you're going to watch something and then you realize that you're reading?
SPEAKER_2: I have bad news.
SPEAKER_2: I usually don't want to watch things either.
SPEAKER_1: Shit.
SPEAKER_1: So sort of media intake generally.
SPEAKER_2: Sort of doing things generally.
SPEAKER_1: Is there?
SPEAKER_1: Right.
SPEAKER_1: No, I understand what you mean.
SPEAKER_2: Is there a thing?
SPEAKER_2: Hey, Brianna, have you ever heard of activity?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I don't like it right now.
SPEAKER_2: Brain doesn't want it.
SPEAKER_2: But reading sounds great.
SPEAKER_2: I want to do that more, so I'm going to focus on reading.
SPEAKER_1: What are things that you are doing in this current state of no activity?
SPEAKER_2: Staring out my window for way too long, eating a snack as I stare out the window for way too long, walking back and forth, petting May, picking May up, and then staring out the window with May.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, Clair is a genius.
SPEAKER_1: I've got it.
SPEAKER_1: I've got it figured out.
SPEAKER_1: So outside the window, we're going to set up a billboard.
SPEAKER_1: Just localize the billboard just to you, and it's just going to be like a book, and it's just going to like...
SPEAKER_1: You'll just look out the window and you'll read a little bit, and then you'll come back, and you'll just look out the window, and it'll just be there, and your eyes will just be drawn to it.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, I like this, because it's A, I like this for two reasons.
SPEAKER_2: The first one is that when I think of a billboard, I always think of the ones that change after a second.
SPEAKER_2: So you read two sentences off of this billboard that has way too many sentences, and it changes, and you're like, okay, I have to come back in a few seconds anyways to read the next sentences.
SPEAKER_2: So it gives me the time to walk away.
SPEAKER_2: The second reason I like this, and this I really like, is that I don't live anywhere near a main street.
SPEAKER_2: And so what the proposition is, is just kind of sticking a billboard in front of somebody's apartment window, which I like.
SPEAKER_2: The thing I thought you were going to say is glue a bunch of pages to your window so that instead of staring out the window, you're actually just reading, but your window is just papered out.
SPEAKER_1: No, we want you to still be able to look out the window.
SPEAKER_1: Because that won't work for your brain.
SPEAKER_1: Listen, I have ADHD, which just means that I know how to trick my brain into doing things it doesn't want to do, because ADHD is allergic to being bored disorder.
SPEAKER_2: Apathy is a tragedy and boredom is a crime, thank you Bo Burnham.
SPEAKER_1: Yes, exactly.
SPEAKER_1: And so I know you have to trick your brain, and so it has to be that you look out and you're like, what's that?
SPEAKER_1: Oh, that's words for a book.
SPEAKER_1: Read a little bit of those.
SPEAKER_1: Here's the thing about the billboard, we can control the billboard, we can control how fast it changes.
SPEAKER_1: So we use metal with that until it's perfect for you.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: What makes this billboard special?
SPEAKER_2: What is stopping us from just enacting billboard?
SPEAKER_2: Erecting, I guess, is the word.
SPEAKER_2: I'm going to say enacting billboards across the entire city, I guess, with different books.
SPEAKER_1: What do you mean?
SPEAKER_1: Why would that something stop us?
SPEAKER_2: Oh, you're right.
SPEAKER_1: This is a pilot program for you.
SPEAKER_1: And then eventually, you know, anyone will be able to sign up for it.
SPEAKER_1: They'll be able to get their own personal billboard.
SPEAKER_2: So how far is the billboard from here?
SPEAKER_2: It's called bill.board.
SPEAKER_2: Bill.board.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, this is B-O-R-E-D, because Bill is bored.
SPEAKER_2: And we hire someone named Bill, and he's our mascot.
SPEAKER_2: He's a white dude.
SPEAKER_2: He makes the brand relatable.
SPEAKER_2: This is Bill.
SPEAKER_2: Bill is bored.
SPEAKER_2: Everybody say hi to billboard.
SPEAKER_2: Board Bill.
SPEAKER_1: No, but everyone can get their own personal billboard if you just sign up through the app for the billboard.
SPEAKER_2: Can I hire Bill to read the billboard to me if I get too bored of reading the billboard?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, but that's like a premium feature.
SPEAKER_2: Shit.
SPEAKER_2: That's the subscription model.
SPEAKER_1: Well, that's the high level.
SPEAKER_1: That's for gold members.
SPEAKER_2: What are the other levels?
SPEAKER_1: The kind of basic model.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, no.
SPEAKER_1: I've made it awful.
SPEAKER_2: I've made it awful.
SPEAKER_1: The basic free model is you get the billboard outside your house, but you can only look at it for 30 minutes every day.
SPEAKER_2: How?
SPEAKER_1: Because after 30 minutes, that's your time for the day.
SPEAKER_1: At the free level, if you want more than that, you should get up to premium.
SPEAKER_2: What happens to the billboard if I look out my window for more than 30 minutes?
SPEAKER_1: Oh, the billboard is blank.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, like permanently?
SPEAKER_2: Like, oh, shit.
SPEAKER_1: For the rest of the day, yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, it's just okay.
SPEAKER_2: So wait, is this like...
SPEAKER_2: So is there eye, so do these billboards of eye tracking technologies?
SPEAKER_2: Or are we like this window from 4 to 430?
SPEAKER_1: We're doing the window.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, great.
SPEAKER_1: Great.
SPEAKER_1: So I just want to be clear.
SPEAKER_1: What if I want to read at 431?
SPEAKER_1: Then you should get the fucking premium model.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, I see.
SPEAKER_2: Right.
SPEAKER_1: See, because there's the like paid minor subscription, which is like you have unlimited billboard time every day.
SPEAKER_2: The silver bill subscription model.
SPEAKER_1: Right, the silver bill.
SPEAKER_2: This isn't the gold bill.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, it's just unlimited time, billboard time a day.
SPEAKER_1: Then there's the gold model.
SPEAKER_2: That's where bill comes and reads it to you.
SPEAKER_1: It's just a bill, just one of them, because we have many.
SPEAKER_2: Right.
SPEAKER_2: What can I do once I finish the billboard?
SPEAKER_2: Right?
SPEAKER_2: There's only so many words you can fit on a billboard.
SPEAKER_2: How do I get a new billboard?
SPEAKER_2: Do I have to like send in an email?
SPEAKER_2: Do I have to call somebody?
SPEAKER_1: They'll replace it.
SPEAKER_1: That's part of the subscription.
SPEAKER_1: The billboard is actually a screen, to be clear.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_2: All right.
SPEAKER_2: So it's not a billboard.
SPEAKER_2: I guess billboards are screens now.
SPEAKER_1: Billboards are screens now.
SPEAKER_1: So it's a screen now.
SPEAKER_1: But you haven't even heard about the platinum subscription.
SPEAKER_2: Tell me about the platinum subscription.
SPEAKER_1: So platinum subscription, not only do you get all the things from the previous levels of subscription, you can have a billboard for each window in your house.
SPEAKER_2: Ooh, shit.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, that's nice.
SPEAKER_1: So it could be any window that you're looking out of.
SPEAKER_2: What's the level where I can start to customize the...
SPEAKER_2: What level gives me a dark mode billboard?
SPEAKER_1: So customization options start at the gold level, but because we're not fucking monsters, there's accessibility options starting at the free level, unlike Twitter, which has recently started unveiling its subscription model that has things such as...
SPEAKER_1: One of the features of it is literally an accessibility feature.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, cool.
SPEAKER_2: Good.
SPEAKER_2: Great.
SPEAKER_2: Normal.
SPEAKER_1: You know how those was like thread unrollers or whatever?
SPEAKER_2: Sure.
SPEAKER_2: I've never actually looked at them, but I understand that people use them.
SPEAKER_1: That is basically one of its models, but it also lets you change the font size and color stuff.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, that's accessibility.
SPEAKER_1: And yes, it's accessibility features, and they're locking it behind a paywall.
SPEAKER_1: Yes.
SPEAKER_2: Cool.
SPEAKER_1: That's what they're doing.
SPEAKER_1: But we're better than that.
SPEAKER_1: You can customize color-wise, I think, starting at the gold level.
SPEAKER_1: You can make cool borders.
SPEAKER_1: And just to be very clear, I know that a lot of this seems like, well, hang on, can I do this at any level by just going and tampering with it, plugging it in or literally physically making borders for it?
SPEAKER_2: Can I walk to the billboard and plug my phone into the billboard to charge it?
SPEAKER_1: Right.
SPEAKER_1: That's a great question.
SPEAKER_1: Absolutely not.
SPEAKER_1: Fuck you.
SPEAKER_1: If you try to do that, we'll take the billboard away.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, what if someone else does it but it's my billboard?
SPEAKER_2: How do I defend my billboard from people who want to charge their phones on my billboard?
SPEAKER_1: Well, let me tell you something.
SPEAKER_1: That's one of the benefits of the Platinum level, is you have guards for your billboard.
SPEAKER_1: They are armed.
SPEAKER_1: They are mercenaries.
SPEAKER_2: I love to pay a company to bring armed guards into my neighborhood.
SPEAKER_1: Yes.
SPEAKER_1: We know everyone loves cyberpunk.
SPEAKER_1: We all just want cyberpunk to be real, so we're making it real.
SPEAKER_2: Good.
SPEAKER_1: Great.
SPEAKER_1: Good.
SPEAKER_2: This is what I want.
SPEAKER_2: Yes, this is exactly what I wanted when I said I wanted to read more.
SPEAKER_2: Thank you, Brianna.
SPEAKER_1: Armed guards to defend your billboard outside of your window.
SPEAKER_1: What?
SPEAKER_1: That seems like such a simple.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, my constitutional right to read, defended by these armed guards.
SPEAKER_2: These are my reading guards.
SPEAKER_1: And let's be clear, they're mercenaries.
SPEAKER_1: They aren't cops, so it's fine.
SPEAKER_1: They don't have any legal authority.
SPEAKER_1: But they do have guns.
SPEAKER_2: They do have guns, yes.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, here's the slogan.
SPEAKER_2: It's like arm your billboard, so you can arm your mind with knowledge.
SPEAKER_1: This is a nightmare.
SPEAKER_1: It's a fucking nightmare.
SPEAKER_2: Do you want to give me your craving instead?
SPEAKER_1: We can ruin your...
SPEAKER_2: I'm going to...
SPEAKER_1: Hey, yeah, it's the craving.
SPEAKER_2: There's a solution to your craving.
SPEAKER_2: I'm going to bring in guns.
SPEAKER_1: I don't know what it is.
SPEAKER_1: You know what it is?
SPEAKER_2: The solution is done.
SPEAKER_1: Let's not have the fucking armed guards, because you know what?
SPEAKER_1: Before all of this, it was all very normal, where we had a fucking subscription model for how much we were allowed to read your billboard every day.
SPEAKER_1: That was normal and cool.
SPEAKER_2: It's all normal and good.
SPEAKER_1: And...
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, what's your craving?
SPEAKER_1: Here's what I want.
SPEAKER_1: Everything that we've just been talking about, the whole rise of apps, all of this type of thing, I want to get rid of it.
SPEAKER_1: I miss, or at least something that I crave and that I love to see in the world is relics of the old internet, of what the internet was like before the time of corporate internet, you know?
SPEAKER_1: Because I have vague memories of it as a child, and I remember being like, damn, hell yes.
SPEAKER_1: Now, admittedly, mine was also specifically the childhood aspects of the old internet, so like Webkins and Club Penguin and stuff.
SPEAKER_2: Do you want to start an AOL together?
SPEAKER_1: We could start an AOL together.
SPEAKER_1: Like, I just think...
SPEAKER_2: This is the Salt Cravings AOL.
SPEAKER_2: We're going to be streaming on AOL?
SPEAKER_1: We're going to be streaming on AOL.
SPEAKER_1: Yes, that's it.
SPEAKER_2: Sorry, tell me more about what you missed.
SPEAKER_1: I just missed when websites looked awful.
SPEAKER_1: That was fun.
SPEAKER_1: I missed when websites looked awful, and we were all just kind of rolling through the wild west of the internet.
SPEAKER_1: No one is doxing each other yet.
SPEAKER_1: No one's figured out how to be evil online yet.
SPEAKER_1: Everyone's still busy even being evil in person.
SPEAKER_1: Corporations don't know how to use the internet yet.
SPEAKER_2: Oh, my God.
SPEAKER_2: Eminem isn't trying to tell you that it's woke.
SPEAKER_1: Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_2: I think the green one is the wokenest Eminem.
SPEAKER_2: Anyways, uh...
SPEAKER_1: Eminem discourse.
SPEAKER_1: All right, everyone.
SPEAKER_1: Welcome to...
SPEAKER_1: This is exactly what I want to request.
SPEAKER_1: I don't want to ever know what discourse means.
SPEAKER_1: What if discourse wasn't a term associated with the internet?
SPEAKER_1: Because there was a discourse on the internet.
SPEAKER_1: Remember, this used to be how things were.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, partially it's because I was a child, and therefore my use of the internet was very different.
SPEAKER_1: And so it's not necessarily...
SPEAKER_1: It also has to do with just me being less aware of what was going on on the internet.
SPEAKER_1: But goddamn it, what if websites looked awful again?
SPEAKER_2: Barring a time machine, should we just...
SPEAKER_2: So I have two thoughts.
SPEAKER_2: One, we just simply destroy the internet, and we have to start over.
SPEAKER_2: Two, is we force the internet into a regression period, right?
SPEAKER_2: We make bad websites cool again.
SPEAKER_1: Hell yes.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, here's step one.
SPEAKER_1: We ban corporations from online.
SPEAKER_2: Corporations can no longer be online.
SPEAKER_1: They'll have to be upfront and have genuine receipts showing what their politics are, and they'll never be able to pass.
SPEAKER_2: They'll fail, they'll always fail.
SPEAKER_1: And so they'll just be forced offline.
SPEAKER_2: Perfect.
SPEAKER_1: That's a pretty big step.
SPEAKER_1: And then we need to get rid of...
SPEAKER_2: We're the internet gatekeepers.
SPEAKER_2: We're just simply going to become the internet gatekeepers.
SPEAKER_1: We will become the internet gatekeepers.
SPEAKER_1: And we will say your websites should be designed in a way that makes them look like shit, but are very accessible news.
SPEAKER_1: We will completely destroy anything related to 4chan.
SPEAKER_1: We will just absolutely wipe it from the internet.
SPEAKER_2: Here's the thing about 4chan that's good is anonymity.
SPEAKER_2: That's the one thing that 4chan has that is good.
SPEAKER_2: Everything else needs to go.
SPEAKER_1: That's partially because of the anonymity that they've been able to develop the way they have.
SPEAKER_1: But anonymity, that's coming back for sure, because no one's anonymous on the internet anymore.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, here's the new rules of the internet.
SPEAKER_1: One, no corporations.
SPEAKER_1: Two, anonymity only.
SPEAKER_1: Three, bad website design, but accessible.
SPEAKER_2: I love this.
SPEAKER_2: I'm so excited to be OtterTits69 in this new anonymous only internet space.
SPEAKER_1: I love to be GamerGirl42412.
SPEAKER_2: Because you're 12?
SPEAKER_2: Everyone thinks you're 12.
SPEAKER_1: Everyone thinks I'm 12.
SPEAKER_1: Everyone does think I'm 12.
SPEAKER_2: Shit, don't say a cuss word.
SPEAKER_2: GamerGirl42412 is here.
SPEAKER_1: Said on our AOL.
SPEAKER_1: The thing is, we're going to have to develop new ways of doing this around not having social media corporations anymore.
SPEAKER_1: No corporations also means no social media corporations.
SPEAKER_1: And honestly, we could all do without Facebook and Twitter and Tumblr and Reddit.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I've been mostly successful.
SPEAKER_2: I just need to purge Twitter and I'm done.
SPEAKER_1: So then we need a new space.
SPEAKER_1: We need community-developed spaces.
SPEAKER_2: New space.
SPEAKER_2: Welcome to my website, New Space.
SPEAKER_1: This is New Space.
SPEAKER_1: It's different than Newgrounds, not related to Newgrounds even a little bit.
SPEAKER_2: Also different from MySpace, kind of.
SPEAKER_1: But it does have a freedom, you know?
SPEAKER_1: It has a new free vibe.
SPEAKER_1: It's a co-op.
SPEAKER_1: We all own this.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, it's like community-moderated too.
SPEAKER_2: So I've unironically thought about how to do a website that promotes anonymity but also has legit moderation.
SPEAKER_2: Okay, so bad example, but you know how Reddit has a voting system?
SPEAKER_2: What if you had a moderation voting system that didn't automatically, because that can easily be abused.
SPEAKER_2: If you vote for something that successfully gets moderated, you get a little plus on your account that says you can.
SPEAKER_2: The problem, of course, is that who are the mods, right?
SPEAKER_1: Right, that's the biggest thing for me.
SPEAKER_2: We're the gatekeepers.
SPEAKER_2: We're the mods.
SPEAKER_1: You and me, just you and me?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, it's just you and me.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, this makes sense because I think, and what I'm sort of assuming here, and I guess I didn't explicitly say this, so I should say this now.
SPEAKER_1: Obviously, you and I are going to plug ourselves into this thing and become like cyborg gatekeepers of the new internet, right?
SPEAKER_2: I am new space.
SPEAKER_1: You are new space.
SPEAKER_2: You can send a blog, that's my kneecap.
SPEAKER_2: Don't say any cuss words.
SPEAKER_2: I don't appreciate that on my kneecap.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I appreciate that.
SPEAKER_2: Actually, wait, you can say cuss words, but it has to be on my forearm.
SPEAKER_1: Absolutely.
SPEAKER_2: Here's the link.
SPEAKER_1: But yeah, we are just, we plugged ourselves in and we created this new world where we all just chill here, and it's cool to be online again.
SPEAKER_1: Also, hacking has to be a lot cooler now.
SPEAKER_2: Oh yeah, it's not just someone like guessing at things.
SPEAKER_2: I love real world hacking, unironically.
SPEAKER_2: It's so mundane.
SPEAKER_1: Hacking now is just, you have to all be connected brain-wise because now the internet's biomechanical since you and I are biomechanically linked up to it.
SPEAKER_1: So it's got to be some cyberpunk, biomedical hacking.
SPEAKER_2: So it continues to be true that the easiest way to hack someone is the parasocial way.
SPEAKER_1: Yes, but now there's like cool graphics.
SPEAKER_2: Ooh, I like the cool graphics.
SPEAKER_2: These graphics are in like 12K, which is actually four pixels because we're regressing.
SPEAKER_2: Exactly.
SPEAKER_1: Bring the old internet back, baby.
SPEAKER_1: Console cowboys riding the inner webs.
SPEAKER_2: How do I connect to people with my console on this old internet?
SPEAKER_2: How do I play my Switch games on NewSpace?
SPEAKER_1: Oh, that's old internet.
SPEAKER_1: To be clear, there's still gonna have to be some sort of network.
SPEAKER_2: It's not the infrastructure that's old.
SPEAKER_2: It's the content.
SPEAKER_1: Yes.
SPEAKER_1: I think a crucial thing here is that our cool new internet is gonna be cool and new, and everyone's gonna love it.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, everyone has to love it.
SPEAKER_1: So jot that down, you know?
SPEAKER_2: Quick note.
SPEAKER_1: Quick note, everyone has to love it.
SPEAKER_1: No, everyone doesn't have to love it, but they will love it.
SPEAKER_1: They just will.
SPEAKER_1: Because it's just gonna be cooler and better.
SPEAKER_1: I feel like with us connected up to this, I'm getting some kind of differing brainwaves here between you and me.
SPEAKER_1: Are you gonna force people to like this?
SPEAKER_2: I am only going to do what I think the armed guards guarding my billboard think is best.
SPEAKER_1: Is your hand getting back at me, huh?
SPEAKER_1: You want me to ruin mine since I ruined yours?
SPEAKER_2: I think this is better.
SPEAKER_2: I think this is good now.
SPEAKER_2: I invited them over for brunch one day, and they're actually quite nice.
SPEAKER_2: You know, one of them actually signed up because they trained with guns because they thought overthrowing the government was the only way forward, but then they needed to put their skills to use and make money off of because they just live in a capitalist hellscape like we do.
SPEAKER_1: Really makes you think.
SPEAKER_2: Really makes you think.
SPEAKER_2: Your local armed guards might just be actual leftists just like you.
SPEAKER_1: Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_2: All right.
SPEAKER_1: I feel like I need to...
SPEAKER_1: I feel like I need to burn...
SPEAKER_2: Burn something?
SPEAKER_1: I feel like I need to burn that craving.
SPEAKER_2: I didn't want to say it because I want to see how long you could draw it out by yourself.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, we're going to burn that craving.
SPEAKER_2: This is a segment about burning old cravings.
SPEAKER_2: We consider the flammability of cravings whatever that means.
SPEAKER_2: For today, how about we try and find the thing you would burn before you burn the final thing.
SPEAKER_2: You're at a bonfire, and you have your big thing that you want to burn.
SPEAKER_2: What's the thing you burn before that final thing?
SPEAKER_1: Totally, totally.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_1: What's the first thing you're burning at this bonfire?
SPEAKER_2: The first thing that I think needs to burn before my ultimate, my final thing that I'm going to burn.
SPEAKER_2: Is inventing the wheel.
SPEAKER_1: Sure.
SPEAKER_2: I just don't think we need the wheel anymore.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I think I'm going to be burning some old gluten and dairy-free baking recipes.
SPEAKER_1: I just don't think...
SPEAKER_1: They just weren't very good.
SPEAKER_1: I tried them, and they just weren't working.
SPEAKER_2: Besides, you already brought one to the bonfire.
SPEAKER_1: I did bring one to the bonfire, so it was one of the ones that worked out.
SPEAKER_1: So which one's more flammable?
SPEAKER_2: It's quicker to burn some recipes.
SPEAKER_2: Besides, that bread is probably flammable, too.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: What's the second...
SPEAKER_1: Do you want to hear the second thing that I've brought?
SPEAKER_1: Well, listen, I've got a lot of paper here today, because I'm also burning some old academic article titles.
SPEAKER_1: Like, just the titles.
SPEAKER_1: Just the titles?
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: I've just chopped off the titles of each of them.
SPEAKER_1: You're just holding them over.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: So I'm just burning those, because I like the way the titles burn.
SPEAKER_2: You're just going to rename them after?
SPEAKER_1: And then plagiarize them.
SPEAKER_2: Perfect.
SPEAKER_2: That works really well.
SPEAKER_2: Mine, and I'm going to read it, because I've made a typo, which is the reason that I'm going to burn it, because it's no good, is Lumberjanes, Percy Jackson and Magical Dumber Camps.
SPEAKER_2: It's supposed to be summer camps, but...
SPEAKER_2: I just want to go to a magical camp where I get them.
SPEAKER_1: No, I feel you.
SPEAKER_2: I don't want to be smart girl summer.
SPEAKER_2: Thank you.
SPEAKER_1: You just want to be a daughter of Athena, huh?
SPEAKER_2: No, that's the opposite of what I want.
SPEAKER_2: I want to be Aphrodite's daughter.
SPEAKER_1: Mood.
SPEAKER_2: No thoughts.
SPEAKER_2: Only fun.
SPEAKER_1: I think I've definitely taken those quizzes before, and then was told I was Aphrodite.
SPEAKER_1: Stop it.
SPEAKER_2: You're not even mad.
SPEAKER_1: I'm kind of better than everyone, but...
SPEAKER_1: I think those books are going to burn real well.
SPEAKER_1: There's just so much to burn there, you know?
SPEAKER_1: And then tell me what's the third thing that you've brought to this bonfire that you're going to burn at this bonfire and this bonfire burn?
SPEAKER_2: The thing that I have written down is doing the podcast, question mark?
SPEAKER_2: Making.
SPEAKER_1: Make, cool.
SPEAKER_1: Do you want to explain?
SPEAKER_2: A little, I guess a little bit, because the thing that we're burning, ultimately, is this podcast, right?
SPEAKER_2: So if I burn, if I burn it before the last thing, then it's, we can't burn it, so we're done forever, and it goes forever in the fire.
SPEAKER_2: It can't be over if it never ends.
SPEAKER_1: That's a good point.
SPEAKER_1: Anyway, what I will be burning is romanticism.
SPEAKER_1: I thought that it needed to come back, but I was wrong.
SPEAKER_1: It does not.
SPEAKER_1: And we can burn it.
SPEAKER_2: Well, that's too bad.
SPEAKER_2: I guess that's a few careers that we're just ignoring.
SPEAKER_2: I guess vote for your favorite ones, for which ones you think should, which ones deserve to burn.
SPEAKER_1: Tell us what deserves to burn.
SPEAKER_2: Engage with the content.
SPEAKER_1: Engage, engagement.
SPEAKER_2: Engage.
SPEAKER_2: That's been Burn That Craving.
SPEAKER_1: All right.
SPEAKER_1: Tell me, Clair, your last craving of this episode.
SPEAKER_2: So my next craving, last craving before the stream, is the ability to take people's extra houses away and give them to other people.
SPEAKER_2: I just think if you have two houses, you don't need two houses.
SPEAKER_1: Right.
SPEAKER_1: I think if you need two houses, you should just get rid of one of them.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, if you have one house and you're living in one house, how you live in two houses...
SPEAKER_1: Really makes you think.
SPEAKER_2: Checkmate liberals.
SPEAKER_1: Checkmate liberals from the left side.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, uh-huh.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, no, I agree completely.
SPEAKER_1: I thought so much about this.
SPEAKER_1: I'm like, really?
SPEAKER_1: Two?
SPEAKER_1: You need two?
SPEAKER_2: Not just two, but three sometimes or more.
SPEAKER_1: And were you not...
SPEAKER_1: No one's living there sometimes?
SPEAKER_2: No one's living there.
SPEAKER_1: Sometimes no one's living there?
SPEAKER_2: Or they're renting it out, and those people are paying for their new mortgage.
SPEAKER_2: So they're actually just paying for the new house.
SPEAKER_2: So it's actually the people who are renting, who are buying the other house, but they don't get the house at the end.
SPEAKER_2: So anyways, we need a big little gotcha claw machine where I can go in and snag people's houses and then give them to other people.
SPEAKER_2: I think the claw machine is good because sometimes it slips.
SPEAKER_1: We're going to need some deeds to these houses.
SPEAKER_1: We're going to need the deeds to these houses, and then we're going to put them in a big pile.
SPEAKER_1: All these extra house deeds.
SPEAKER_1: Then we're going to block it off with tape, and then everyone can just come and grab one.
SPEAKER_2: But how do we assure that if you have a home that you're not coming and getting another house?
SPEAKER_1: We have...
SPEAKER_2: And also, how do we stop you from taking two?
SPEAKER_1: It's like a take one, right?
SPEAKER_1: It's a take one.
SPEAKER_1: We have the billboard guards there, because they're leftists.
SPEAKER_2: Great.
SPEAKER_1: That's the first thing.
SPEAKER_1: We hired them.
SPEAKER_1: We have an extended web of bureaucracy to prevent this.
SPEAKER_1: I don't realize...
SPEAKER_2: All of our cravings are very bureaucratic.
SPEAKER_1: This one, I'm really quickly getting into the zone of...
SPEAKER_2: A government?
SPEAKER_1: Of a government.
SPEAKER_1: We're just becoming a government.
SPEAKER_2: It's the Salt Cravings government.
SPEAKER_1: Let's go back to the claw machine instead.
SPEAKER_1: Tell me about the claw machine.
SPEAKER_2: Have you ever been in one of those stores that you know this thing has never been touched for two years because there's dust on its surface?
SPEAKER_2: But if you feed it $5, you get a chance for 10 seconds to get a stuffy or something out of it.
SPEAKER_2: What if we put the deeds in there?
SPEAKER_1: So here's my question.
SPEAKER_1: The deeds are in there, and so how are you making sure with the claw machine that people aren't sagging more houses than they're supposed to?
SPEAKER_2: If you want to enter the shop, it's called the One House Shop.
SPEAKER_2: We require a full background check in order to enter to bureaucracy again.
SPEAKER_1: This is the issue with...
SPEAKER_1: This is the true...
SPEAKER_1: Listen, everyone has their own personal beef with leftism.
SPEAKER_1: Here's my beef with leftism.
SPEAKER_1: In order to prevent bad actors, you have to become a fucking bureaucracy or a government or something.
SPEAKER_1: This sucks.
SPEAKER_1: It's bullshit.
SPEAKER_1: I don't want to do that.
SPEAKER_1: I don't want to have to enforce shit.
SPEAKER_1: God.
SPEAKER_1: Fuck that.
SPEAKER_2: This is why we have Bill.
SPEAKER_1: This is why we have Bill.
SPEAKER_1: Bill can just tell.
SPEAKER_1: This is the thing about Bill.
SPEAKER_1: Bill can go up to you and tell, do you have a house already?
SPEAKER_2: Bill's the house mind reader.
SPEAKER_1: Yes, you can't lie to Bill.
SPEAKER_1: People have tried to lie to Bill so many times, and every time he's like, ah, no, it's me, I'm Bill.
SPEAKER_2: Your tongue, it does the thing.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, you have two houses.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, he's really smart.
SPEAKER_1: We're lucky to have him, because he can just go around and tell.
SPEAKER_1: You don't have to do any of the bureaucracy or anything like that, because you just show up in line, and he'll go to you, and he'll look at you.
SPEAKER_1: And you'll look back at him, and he'll be like, mm-hmm, yep, you're good.
SPEAKER_1: All right, go ahead.
SPEAKER_2: No one actually knows that Bill got this power because he was bitten by a radioactive house when he was a kid.
SPEAKER_1: Bitten by a radioactive house.
SPEAKER_1: He just has house abilities now.
SPEAKER_1: He can also physically transport houses, which is helpful.
SPEAKER_2: I thought you were going to say turn into a house.
SPEAKER_1: He can also do that.
SPEAKER_1: But he doesn't like to use that power because it's really conspicuous.
SPEAKER_1: And he turns into a big house is the thing.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, it's a big house.
SPEAKER_1: And he's kind of shy about it.
SPEAKER_1: And so we don't get Bill to do that, but we do get Bill to help us with the housing.
SPEAKER_2: There's the other thing where you go to Bill and you don't have any houses.
SPEAKER_2: You're like, yeah, no, no, I have like 10 houses.
SPEAKER_2: And Bill's like, no, I get it.
SPEAKER_2: You're trying to look really cool right now.
SPEAKER_2: I get that you're trying to look cool with your 10 houses.
SPEAKER_2: But like, you need a home, my friend, and we'll like go up to someone and then I guess soul snatch them, except the soul snatches their other house and he like psychic generates it into the other person's body.
SPEAKER_2: Or he just bites them and they become a house.
SPEAKER_2: Warehouse.
SPEAKER_1: This is actually what a warehouse is.
SPEAKER_1: Warehouse.
SPEAKER_2: Fucking warehouse.
SPEAKER_1: The other thing here is Bill hates landlords.
SPEAKER_1: Bill can deal with landlords.
SPEAKER_1: Because the other thing that we're not saying, of course, is that being bitten by the radioactive thing also, like Spider-Man, just gave him super strength and house sense, home sense.
SPEAKER_1: He gained home sense.
SPEAKER_1: God damn it.
SPEAKER_1: He's a warehouse with home sense, and he can beat anyone in combat.
SPEAKER_1: He's basically immune to most violence.
SPEAKER_1: He's a strong guy.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, he's just Billed like that.
SPEAKER_1: He's just Billed like that.
SPEAKER_1: Is there more?
SPEAKER_1: Is there more here?
SPEAKER_1: I mean, we kind of solved it by coming up with Bill.
SPEAKER_1: We didn't come up with Bill.
SPEAKER_1: We found Bill.
SPEAKER_1: Bill found us.
SPEAKER_2: If you think about it, Bill found all of us in our darkest moments.
SPEAKER_1: Bill was the hero that we needed, and I think that societally we deserved.
SPEAKER_1: And he was actually found frozen in the ice as a house.
SPEAKER_1: So we had to thaw out the house, and we just thawed out this random house, and then it changed into a guy.
SPEAKER_1: He was like, hi, I'm Bill.
SPEAKER_1: And we were like, cool.
SPEAKER_1: He's like, I'm a radical leftist, and I can tell when people have homes and don't.
SPEAKER_1: And we were like, oh shit.
SPEAKER_2: Jesus, wow, he really offered that information immediately, didn't he?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I forgot about that part.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, he's a cool guy.
SPEAKER_1: Listen, he's very, he's very like...
SPEAKER_2: He does talk about it a lot at parties.
SPEAKER_2: It's kind of like his one story, you know?
SPEAKER_2: Like, I love him dearly, but he comes to the party, he's like, you know, I can turn into a big house.
SPEAKER_2: And like, I don't really want to, but you know, I could if I wanted to.
SPEAKER_2: Do you want to become a big house?
SPEAKER_2: I'm kind of a warehouse, you know?
SPEAKER_1: But he is sort of like, kind of like, yeah, I don't really do the crime fighting thing because crime is actually kind of a symptom of a fucked up system.
SPEAKER_1: And actually, there's better ways to like help fight that.
SPEAKER_1: But if I did do...
SPEAKER_2: Like giving people houses.
SPEAKER_1: Right, exactly.
SPEAKER_1: The reason why he has to say that is because people obviously immediately ask, oh, why aren't you a superhero fighting crime?
SPEAKER_1: And he's like, I don't really do that thing because that's kind of messed up.
SPEAKER_1: And, you know, superheroes like is really complicated.
SPEAKER_2: This is why we hired him for the billboard.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, he's great.
SPEAKER_1: We love him.
SPEAKER_1: There's also many of him because as we know, there's a lot of people who are going to need a bill to read things to them.
SPEAKER_1: So there's tons of bills.
SPEAKER_1: And to be clear, they have really good benefits, and we make sure to get, you know, not make them work too many hours.
SPEAKER_2: If I've learned anything from vampire lore, it's that if every set of bills has a like a suitor, that's not the word, a pre pre bill, you know, a leader, like not a leader, but the person that you were billed by.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, yeah, totally.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, everyone has everyone has someone who who billed them.
SPEAKER_2: We're all billed up by those around us, specifically by Bill in some cases.
SPEAKER_1: Have you been billed yet?
SPEAKER_2: You know, I've been a little nervous.
SPEAKER_2: I've been thinking about getting billed.
SPEAKER_2: But yeah, I don't know.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I don't know what house I want to be yet.
SPEAKER_2: I could be one of those little, you know, like I'm still deciding on an exterior.
SPEAKER_1: What would your house Sona be?
SPEAKER_1: If you had to like, if you could become a house, like what was your house Sona be?
SPEAKER_1: Because mine would be the like house in Emma 2020, the big manor home that they have.
SPEAKER_2: You can have so many people in that.
SPEAKER_1: I'd have to remember what the name of the house is, but it's Emma.
SPEAKER_1: It's the Woodhouse residence.
SPEAKER_2: You're a house with a name.
SPEAKER_1: Hang on.
SPEAKER_1: Let me...
SPEAKER_2: I guess we're all houses with names, if you think about it.
SPEAKER_2: All the warehouses.
SPEAKER_2: They're all Bill.
SPEAKER_1: Hartfield is the name of the house.
SPEAKER_1: I'll just send you an image, and you'll understand immediately why.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, this is you.
SPEAKER_2: Do you come with the accessories and the people?
SPEAKER_1: Not the people.
SPEAKER_1: Certainly not the people.
SPEAKER_1: This is not a full tar situation.
SPEAKER_2: But for people who can't see the image, can't see the link in the description or can't go to it for whatever reason, it's a bunch of people having fucking tea in a really like ornate living room with a fucking chandelier and tea set.
SPEAKER_1: And the coloring is very pastel, lots of greens and pinks, and lots of like strange old furniture.
SPEAKER_2: That's your house sona.
SPEAKER_1: That's my house sona.
SPEAKER_1: Very cluttered.
SPEAKER_1: I don't want minimalism.
SPEAKER_1: Fuck minimalism.
SPEAKER_1: I want opulence.
SPEAKER_2: You want things.
SPEAKER_2: And you don't come with the people.
SPEAKER_1: I don't come with the people, but I do come with the things.
SPEAKER_1: Tell me, what's your whole deal?
SPEAKER_2: I don't know.
SPEAKER_2: I just told you.
SPEAKER_2: I'm having trouble deciding on an exterior.
SPEAKER_1: Would it be okay?
SPEAKER_1: I mean, like here's...
SPEAKER_1: Tell me about the vibe.
SPEAKER_1: Is the vibe like abandoned home out in the country?
SPEAKER_1: Is the vibe an apartment complex?
SPEAKER_1: Is it a futuristic-y home?
SPEAKER_2: I like the idea of becoming an apartment complex, but then it's multiple people.
SPEAKER_2: And you know, really, I can be the community.
SPEAKER_2: I'm an apartment complex with not a community hall, but a big room for food.
SPEAKER_1: Cafeteria?
SPEAKER_2: No, that's not the vibe I want.
SPEAKER_1: Like a...
SPEAKER_2: Gathering hall.
SPEAKER_1: A gathering hall.
SPEAKER_1: A dining hall.
SPEAKER_2: The weirdest apartment you've ever been to.
SPEAKER_1: I love that when I was trying to think about what my house son would be, I was like, oh, it would be this opulent, beautiful, unnecessarily ornate, kind of ridiculous pastel home that represents luxury.
SPEAKER_1: And you were like, my body will literally become a community.
SPEAKER_1: My body will literally become a place where people can live.
SPEAKER_1: I really admire you for that.
SPEAKER_2: Thank you.
SPEAKER_2: I really like the idea of having just as many people as I can fit inside of me.
SPEAKER_2: That's really what it's about.
SPEAKER_2: It's not about the being nice or anything.
SPEAKER_2: It's about what's the biggest number of people I can put inside of my body.
SPEAKER_1: Great.
SPEAKER_1: Um, very normal.
SPEAKER_1: Um, I think another good option is a house owner here, be Danny the Street from Doom Patrol.
SPEAKER_1: This is a gender fluid sentient street.
SPEAKER_2: Danny the Street from Doom Patrol.
SPEAKER_2: I'm Googling this.
SPEAKER_2: That's a street, all right.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, it's a sentient street that a community of marginalized people live on.
SPEAKER_1: And the street is gender fluid, and it's named Danny.
SPEAKER_2: I've never heard of this.
SPEAKER_2: This is great.
SPEAKER_1: Doom Patrol is good.
SPEAKER_1: Highly recommend Doom Patrol, season one especially.
SPEAKER_1: I think it's one of the best superhero things that's ever been made, because they're terrible at being superheroes.
SPEAKER_2: Unlike Bill, he doesn't try to be a superhero.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, he doesn't.
SPEAKER_2: He just is.
SPEAKER_2: He's just looking out for you.
SPEAKER_1: Shout out to Bill.
SPEAKER_2: Shout out to Bill.
SPEAKER_2: I love Salt Cravings, aka, Invent a Guy We Love.
SPEAKER_1: Invent a Guy We Love.
SPEAKER_1: He just came up with a new guy.
SPEAKER_1: He rocks.
SPEAKER_1: He's the best.
SPEAKER_2: What's your craving?
SPEAKER_2: Your last craving before the stream.
SPEAKER_1: So, today, I was finishing up my kind of first watch through of Bo Burnham's Inside.
SPEAKER_2: Oh shit, you have seen it.
SPEAKER_1: I have seen it now.
SPEAKER_1: And I don't like to spoil anything, but I guess the Vegas spoiler, which is like, at least in part, it's kind of an examination of comedy and kind of what he's done in terms of comedy and like what the point of all of this is and those sorts of things.
SPEAKER_1: I guess my last craving is like before the stream is like, I want to, like an examination of what we've done here, you know?
SPEAKER_2: Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_1: We did this for three years.
SPEAKER_1: It made a thing.
SPEAKER_1: People that we know like it.
SPEAKER_2: I still don't believe it, but people keep telling me this.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: What did we do?
SPEAKER_1: What did we do here, Clair?
SPEAKER_2: Uh, we self-engrandized for three years, and then we topped it off with, uh, bits and jingles and doodads, and we, uh, had fun together, and we appreciated that even though there's a lot of shit in this world, you don't necessarily have to suffer to live and you're allowed to have moments of love and community and happiness, and what this podcast has given to me is hanging out with you for, like, an hour and doing weird shit.
SPEAKER_2: This started with us riffing off of each other on your couch as our friend laughed themself into hysteria and said, you two should do a podcast together.
SPEAKER_2: And then we did it for some reason.
SPEAKER_1: And we did it for three years.
SPEAKER_1: I feel like the show has felt, at my most cynical shitty moments, has felt like the most self-indulgent bullshit in the world.
SPEAKER_1: The thing is, most of the time, I feel like we made something that's cool.
SPEAKER_1: And there's definitely things that if I could go back, I would change.
SPEAKER_1: I think I would definitely change and make sure that we had a better plan for doing transcriptions and that sort of accessibility stuff.
SPEAKER_1: That's on me.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, that's on us, to be clear.
SPEAKER_1: And so it's not perfect.
SPEAKER_1: There are things with it that weren't perfect, but I'm glad that we did this.
SPEAKER_1: And I feel good about it.
SPEAKER_1: And I think we did a good job of, as kind of over the past three years, things have gotten, they were already a little rough.
SPEAKER_1: I think when we started this, we really did conceptualize this as a place where you could get away from all of the bad noobs in the world.
SPEAKER_1: And I think, to some degree, we stuck to that, but I think also there's this element of, we also recognize that at a certain point, when people listen to you, you can at least link them to things.
SPEAKER_1: Yes.
SPEAKER_1: I'm glad that we've done that with this, and that we've spent these years, spent these years making this thing, and it's honestly, it's been so much fun.
SPEAKER_1: Been times where it's been like, damn, I don't know what I'm doing in my life, but I know I can still go and record Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_1: And I can goof around with my friend Clair, who I love very much.
SPEAKER_2: That's gay.
SPEAKER_2: I love you too, pal.
SPEAKER_1: It is gay.
SPEAKER_2: I miss saying that's gay to all my friends who we're all gay in the room.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Being pals.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_2: I love being on a bus and watching people's reactions to us saying that's gay when what we mean is, aww.
SPEAKER_1: I love, yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Because we love to reclaim the phrase anyways.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I mean, we are theoretically semi-soon going to be moving back into a world of seeing each other in person again.
SPEAKER_1: You remember when we used to record this in person?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, arguably the audio quality is better now.
SPEAKER_1: It is, I think.
SPEAKER_1: I think that's true.
SPEAKER_1: I think it's weirder.
SPEAKER_1: I think it's a really different way to do the pod.
SPEAKER_2: The different vibe.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: But I still think it's fun, and I still think it's good.
SPEAKER_1: I think we've gotten really good at it over the past few years.
SPEAKER_1: I think we have improved.
SPEAKER_2: God, I hope so.
SPEAKER_1: When I go back to old episodes to listen to them, to transcribe them, I'm like, oh my God, we got good at this, huh?
SPEAKER_1: We really did, huh?
SPEAKER_2: What you're saying is this is a segment of the show where we sort of self ingrandize and masturbate on ourselves a bit.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_1: And again, there are criticisms that I'm sure you could levy against this thing that we made.
SPEAKER_1: And should be levied.
SPEAKER_2: I like the idea that in the future, when we have left this behind, that it will become out of date.
SPEAKER_2: A lot of our bits, a lot of our jokes are contextual to the time they were made in.
SPEAKER_2: And so with that context removed, I think it'll be really interesting to see how this holds up.
SPEAKER_2: And is it actually helpful to people, or does it end up doing harm?
SPEAKER_1: I feel that so much as like, yeah, when we look back on this, how are we going to look back on it?
SPEAKER_1: How are other people going to look back on it when people stumble across it somehow?
SPEAKER_1: And they're like, oh, wow, this was from several years ago, huh?
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I'm listening to a podcast because I ran out of all my podcast content.
SPEAKER_2: And so I started a new one, and it started in 2014.
SPEAKER_2: And I just have one word, oomph.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, and to some degree, you know, I mean, like, yeah, 2018, when we started, isn't too long ago now, but like...
SPEAKER_2: For now.
SPEAKER_1: For now, but like, 20, 20...
SPEAKER_2: Wait 10 years.
SPEAKER_2: Uh-huh, yeah.
SPEAKER_1: I like that it has brought joy to people, and the people have enjoyed it.
SPEAKER_1: And I'm very thankful to those who have and to those who listen, honestly.
SPEAKER_1: Like, just having a reason to keep making this show because we have a couple folks who listen to it has been a delight.
SPEAKER_1: And I'm really excited to get to celebrate with folks and hang out with folks and spend time with folks.
SPEAKER_1: So thank you for listening, I guess.
SPEAKER_1: And Clair, thank you for making the show with me.
SPEAKER_2: Thank you.
SPEAKER_2: Thank you for being on that couch with me.
SPEAKER_2: And just absolute nonsense off of each other for, I think it was over an hour.
SPEAKER_2: We basically did a pilot episode before the pilot episode of just absolute nonsense at each other that no one will ever know except for that one friend.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I'm glad that we did that, and I'm glad that we decided to make it into a thing.
SPEAKER_1: And we did this thing for as long as we did.
SPEAKER_1: What are we gonna do when it's done?
SPEAKER_2: I guess we have to become internet celebrities.
SPEAKER_1: I think so.
SPEAKER_1: This can be sort of the old shit that people will listen to and be like, hey, that was before they were good, right?
SPEAKER_2: And I'm like, yeah, that was before we were good.
SPEAKER_2: That's before they became sellouts and gave themselves over to capitalism and made the big bucks, lol.
SPEAKER_2: It's all been a bit.
SPEAKER_2: It's all been to get that cash money grab thing.
SPEAKER_1: Yep, that's it.
SPEAKER_1: That's the whole thing that's been the whole thing.
SPEAKER_2: That's all we've made so much money off of this podcast.
SPEAKER_1: Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_2: Checking my bank account.
SPEAKER_2: Now, wait, what does zero mean?
SPEAKER_2: I think we've lost money, actually.
SPEAKER_1: Negative.
SPEAKER_2: Actually negative.
SPEAKER_2: Never mind.
SPEAKER_2: We put money into this.
SPEAKER_1: We have put money into this.
SPEAKER_1: We never made any money off of this, and I never really.
SPEAKER_1: I know we started off a Patreon at some point, but like.
SPEAKER_2: It's never made money.
SPEAKER_2: I love that.
SPEAKER_2: I actually love that.
SPEAKER_2: I love that.
SPEAKER_1: I don't.
SPEAKER_2: We don't need it.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, we made that when we were both two very broke students.
SPEAKER_1: The point is, the point is, I think that like, it's been fun to make it.
SPEAKER_1: It's been fun to be a part of it and to make this thing, and I'm shocked at how long we did it.
SPEAKER_1: 68 episodes and, you know, what will be 69 episodes.
SPEAKER_2: Nice.
SPEAKER_1: It's a long time to make a podcast.
SPEAKER_1: I'm really impressed.
SPEAKER_1: And I'm really thankful.
SPEAKER_1: And yeah.
SPEAKER_2: So do you want to become streamers?
SPEAKER_1: I don't know.
SPEAKER_1: Right.
SPEAKER_1: That's the thing is, you know, we're still obviously going to do shit together because it's you and it's me.
SPEAKER_2: Tabletop related, probably.
SPEAKER_1: Probably tabletop related.
SPEAKER_1: Might do streaming.
SPEAKER_1: We'll see.
SPEAKER_1: We'll come at this, you know, in a different way, maybe with some other folks with a different plan.
SPEAKER_2: Let's start a Brothers in Arms campaign.
SPEAKER_2: Oh god.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, that's a very different type of energy.
SPEAKER_2: Yes.
SPEAKER_1: Extremely different type of energy.
SPEAKER_1: Whatever it is, it'll probably be different from this.
SPEAKER_1: This is, again, Salt Cravings is ending because we want to still have this thing be fun right up to the end.
SPEAKER_1: And it is still fun right up to the end.
SPEAKER_1: And all the funny jokes and bits and all of that.
SPEAKER_1: I'm sure that we'll still do something that involves funny jokes and bits and things.
SPEAKER_2: And if we know you would real life and you want more funny bits and jokes, just invite us to a party and sit us next to each other.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, and we'll just do it.
SPEAKER_2: That's basically Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_1: Basically Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_1: So like, we'll see what comes next.
SPEAKER_1: We will see what it looks like.
SPEAKER_1: But there will be something.
SPEAKER_1: We'll do something.
SPEAKER_1: I think we're incapable of shutting up.
SPEAKER_1: Of shutting up.
SPEAKER_1: And so, as long as people will listen to us talk, we'll talk.
SPEAKER_1: Alright, I think that's enough navel gazing.
SPEAKER_1: It was a thing.
SPEAKER_1: There's some issues with it for now.
SPEAKER_1: It was fun to do.
SPEAKER_2: I hope to look back on this and go, I am a better person now, as I do often.
SPEAKER_1: And that's Salt Cravings.
SPEAKER_2: That's Salt Cravings, everybody.
SPEAKER_2: We have one more.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, we have one more.
SPEAKER_1: The reason we're doing all the end of shit stuff is so that...
SPEAKER_2: Very different energy.
SPEAKER_2: It's gonna be a very different energy.
SPEAKER_1: Right.
SPEAKER_1: We want the next one to be really celebratory and just fun and a good time and chaotic with all of the people who hopefully will be there.
SPEAKER_1: That'll be fun and we'll just be hanging out and hearing from y'all and everyone will be doing this all together.
SPEAKER_1: For now, this is the end of the kind of normal pod, I guess.
SPEAKER_2: Hashtag normal pod.
SPEAKER_2: Hashtag return to normal pod.
SPEAKER_1: Hashtag return to normal pod.
SPEAKER_1: So let's...
SPEAKER_1: Okay, before we get into the normal end of stuff, let's talk a little bit about the stream.
SPEAKER_1: Said we'd talk about it a little more.
SPEAKER_1: So here's the details again.
SPEAKER_1: July 1st to the 4th, July 1st and 2nd, we'll be going from noon to 10 p.m.
SPEAKER_1: That's Thursday and Friday.
SPEAKER_1: July 3rd and 4th, the 3rd, we'll be going from 10 a.m.
SPEAKER_1: to 10 p.m.
SPEAKER_1: And the Friday, we'll be going also from 10 a.m.
SPEAKER_1: to 10 p.m.
SPEAKER_1: And on the 3rd, on the Saturday, 11 a.m., that'll be the finale pod.
SPEAKER_1: Probably going for at least an hour, maybe more, we'll see.
SPEAKER_2: Remember, all these times are in West Coast Pacific time zone.
SPEAKER_2: If you're in the East Coast, if you're in the middle zone, mid-coast, that's not a coast.
SPEAKER_2: If you're anywhere else, please check up your time zone if you want to come.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, we'll be around.
SPEAKER_1: It'll probably be mostly us.
SPEAKER_1: Probably some friends will come by and hang out, and then we might have moments where we need a break and so someone else takes over the stream for a bit.
SPEAKER_1: It'll be really fun and a really good time, and chill, hopefully.
SPEAKER_1: We're going to do our best to do it safely and smartly.
SPEAKER_1: We're going to have, in terms of accessibility, we are going to do our very best to have the best captions that we can have.
SPEAKER_1: They will be automatic captions.
SPEAKER_1: We're going to try and find the best ones that we can, but yeah, they are going to be automatic captions, so they're going to be imperfect.
SPEAKER_1: We'll try and correct any imperfections.
SPEAKER_1: It'll be on twitch.tv/saltcravings.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, normal rules of don't be an asshole, you know?
SPEAKER_1: Don't be racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, the whole, all of that.
SPEAKER_1: All of the things.
SPEAKER_1: Don't be a shithead.
SPEAKER_1: Just don't be a shithead.
SPEAKER_1: That's the general vibe.
SPEAKER_3: Hi, Future Clair here.
SPEAKER_3: One more piece of information that I just wanted to drop in here.
SPEAKER_3: For the end of the episode, we've since decided that we are going to be supporting the BTFA Collective.
SPEAKER_3: They work to support and provide for Black Transfems in the Arts.
SPEAKER_3: You can go check them out at btfacollective.org.
SPEAKER_3: It's btfacollecive.org.
SPEAKER_3: All right, back to the end of the episode.
SPEAKER_2: Remember that activism and support is not a sprint, it is a marathon.
SPEAKER_2: So remember to support your communities.
SPEAKER_2: Go check out those links in the description.
SPEAKER_1: You can follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram for updates on the stream, and I'll end some info on whatever we end up doing next.
SPEAKER_1: You don't have to rate or review.
SPEAKER_1: If I can, I'll say it.
SPEAKER_1: You don't have to.
SPEAKER_2: You should, but you don't have to.
SPEAKER_2: Just go thank Bill.
SPEAKER_2: Just go leave a review and say thanks, Bill.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, uh-huh.
SPEAKER_1: And that'll confuse everyone because there's no Bill in this podcast.
SPEAKER_1: And then make sure to prepare some cravings.
SPEAKER_1: We're going to do, when we do the finale episode, we'll try and solve some of your cravings, and that'll be really fun, so please prepare some and come on by.
SPEAKER_1: You can find us individually on social media also.
SPEAKER_1: You can find me at Price of Bri on Twitter.
SPEAKER_2: You can find me at ClaireSkiesAhead.
SPEAKER_1: Thanks so much for listening and for enjoying this thing that we made.
SPEAKER_1: And as we always say every single time, because we've had a consistent outro for this show, for all of the episodes we've done it, use protection when you're craving.
SPEAKER_1: I think that's it.
SPEAKER_1: It's a stupid outro for a stupid show that I love.
SPEAKER_2: We've never had one.
SPEAKER_2: Remember when we were actually like, we should come up with an outro.
SPEAKER_1: That was so funny when we thought we were gonna do that.
SPEAKER_1: It's so funny, LOL.
SPEAKER_2: Imagine having consistency.
SPEAKER_1: Absolutely not, could not be me, will not be me.
SPEAKER_2: One clap for posterity.
SPEAKER_1: One clap for posterity.
SPEAKER_2: One clap for the minute to you, darlin.
SPEAKER_2: Was a little behind.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, five.
SPEAKER_1: But that's fine.
SPEAKER_2: No, no, no, we're good, we're good.
SPEAKER_1: Okay, all right.
SPEAKER_1: No more claps.
SPEAKER_2: Should we stop recording?
SPEAKER_2: No more claps, it's the end.
SPEAKER_2: It's the end.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, we should stop recording.
SPEAKER_1: Bye.